Essential Tools for Empaths: A Survival Guide for Sensitive People

by Judith Orloff

Are you an empath? If you've ever felt overwhelmed by noise and crowds, been put down for being too shy and introverted, or suffered "emotional hangovers" from someone else's bad mood, chances are you're at least partially an empath. With Essential Tools for Empaths, Dr. Judith Orloff presents a wealth of techniques, insights, and guided practices for addressing the challenges sensitive people face - while developing your unique qualities and strengths. In this audio companion to her new book The Empath's Survival Guide, she reveals how you can stop absorbing stress from others, protect yourself from narcissists and other energy vampires, enhance your health and intuition, find work that supports your sensitivities, and much more.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Spirituality, Audiobook, Psychology

Audible Audio

Published April 5, 2017

About the author

Judith Orloff, MD is a psychiatrist, an empath, and author of the recent book "The Genius of Empathy" (Foreword by the Dalai Lama) which offers powerful skills to tap into empathy as a daily healing practice. Her upcoming children’s book "The Highly Sensitive Rabbit" is about a caring rabbit who learns to embrace her gifts of sensitivity through the kindness of loving animals. Her other books include "The Empath’s Survival Guide" and "Thriving as an Empath."

Dr. Orloff is a New York Times bestselling author and a UCLA psychiatric clinical faculty member. She synthesizes the pearls of conventional medicine with cutting-edge knowledge of intuition, energy, and spirituality. Dr. Orloff specializes in treating highly sensitive people in her private practice. She has been featured on The Today Show, CNN, Oprah Magazine, and in the New York Times and Scientific American. Learn more about the power of empathy at www.drjudithorloff.com

Reviews

[Katherine Pershey · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was EXCELLENT. Like, potentially life-changing. The only reason why I give it one less star is that even though Dr. Orloff acknowledges that there is such a thing as an extroverted empath, much of the book was directed toward introverted empaths. I think I can translate but it would have been helpful to have some extrovert-specific help.

Reading this helps me to affirm that just because I'm super sensitive doesn't mean there's something wrong with me - and that's pretty powerful, considering I've spent my life assuming there was something terribly wrong with me.

[Kerianne · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love Essential Tools for an Empath by Judith Orloff M.D.! The pace, tone and heart centered intention of this audiobook allowed me to relax and settle into my body easily. I’ve listened 3 times because the information resonates so strongly. The body grounding meditation and jaguar meditation have been especially helpful at this time.
Thanks to Judith Orloff M.D.’s work, I understand myself and my experiences throughout my life. I’m realizing how much energy is spent buffering my sensitivity and ignoring my intuition. For the first time, I feel safe and excited to allow myself to feel thanks to the tools that I’m learning. According to Dr. Orloff, the point of being an empath is to feel what’s positive and revel in it and to enjoy your life (track 18). How beautiful is that?!

[Rachel · Rating 3 out of 5]

This series was supportive and insightful for me. I found some powerful lessons, meditations, and thought-shifts throughout Dr. Judith's work. I appreciated hearing her perspective as a doctor as well as a highly empathic person. I think it's a worthwhile read/listen, but one that also requires us to sort through some iffy material along the way. There's some information in here about psychic abilities, for example, that I tended to zone out through. But there's also some grounded and encouraging information about boundaries, communication, and self-care, which has already inspired growth and change in me. So all in all, a lovely and appreciated guide.

[Lydia · Rating 5 out of 5]

I respect these insights and plan to implement some of these practices.

[Theresa · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found some of the ideas in the beginning of the book relatable, but as it went on, I thought some of the more non-scientific suggestions, such as using Himalayan salt lamps to reduce negative energy, over the top.

The author includes lots of positive and accepting talk about those she calls empaths, which many may find helpful. However, beyond some rather repetitive affirmations and meditations, I'm not sure how many real or essential "tools" there are here to help the more sensitive among us navigate our way through the real world.

[Courtney · Rating 5 out of 5]

This audiobook didn’t teach me anything new about living as an empath, but I think it’s a great starter book for my clients and those who are just learning that they are empaths. It’s also a good listen for those who have a close relationship with an empath.

I did appreciate that her views aligned in almost all of the ways that mine do in regards to spirituality and things that some people would deem “woo woo,” but my endless experiences have taught me are true. Science is going to catch up at some point… it’s on its way. 😉

[Aurora · Rating 4 out of 5]

Orloff's books are tough for me because she manages the rare feat of 1) dispensing some excellent observations and advice for her targeted audience, of which I am one, and 2) sounding like an airy fairy New Age auntie. Most pop psychology books are either one or the other. I think it's a mistake to entirely discount Orloff's work, though other books out there may explain the phenomena of being a sensitive person in a more scientific manner, if it matters to you.

This book is very similar to "The Empath's Survival Guide" but contained far less weirdness. No mention of feeling food energy and plant energy. The few New Agey bits I tuned out, and the rest was very helpful in reminding myself I easily take on other people's negativity, I am easily hurt by the meanness and selfishness of others, most other people are not considerate of the feelings of others as I am, that I am prone to be targeted by certain toxic people like narcissists, and that I have to constantly practice self-care to not let these behaviors affect me.

I don't dismiss New Agey ish just to sound cool or be judgmental. I've been around a few New Age shaman/seer/psychic types: every single one of them either had Narcissistic Personality Disorder (which is ironically a type that Orloff warns empaths they may fall victim to, and rightly so), or suffered from serious mental illnesses (ex. schizophrenia, bipolar) and were not medicating for one reason or another (more often than not, they didn't believe the science that got them the diagnosis). Every single one of them hurt the people around them and took their money without shame. One woman I briefly knew almost killed herself because the psychic told her to go off her bipolar medication.

Some parts of Orloff's books brought back memories of the people I've known hurt by this nonsense: the psychic who almost caused this woman to suicide "channeled Quan Yin", who Orloff mentions in this book, and talked about opening third eyes, which Orloff does as well.

If you are someone who is highly sensitive, easily hurt by the everyday cruelties of the world, or who is overwhelmed by being around stimulating environments, I highly encourage you to take up yoga, other forms of meditation, and find a good professional, especially one who specializes in these matters, who can give you tools and explanations as to why you feel the way you do. Orloff's books are best read as supplementary.

[Kara Demetropoulos · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have mixed feelings about some of the labeling used in this book, and in the New Age community as a whole. It seems that, especially now, classifying people as "empaths" and "energy vampires" has become quite popular, and I worry about that creating or amplifying a black and white distinction, labeling people "sensitive" versus "toxic."

That being said, this book has some awesome analysis, advice, and practical tools for people who identify with the characteristics of an empath. The book begins with a kind and understanding approach to living with heightened sensitivities, and that kindness continues throughout. It's refreshing to see qualities that you may have always disliked, or even felt ashamed of, reframed as strengths and assets.

My favorite aspect of the book was how clearly the author explains strategies to make the most of your unique gifts, as well as techniques to protect your energy. These tools are all extremely simple to try out for yourself, immediately, and there are several guided meditations to help you get the hang of the practices. I was impressed by the scope of the book as well, which covers empaths at work, at home, in relationships, and parenting. She also touches on empaths and addiction and disordered eating. The various types of empath are broken down as well, and there are helpful assessments throughout to assist you in gauging where you personally fall on the empath scale. She also goes over the various types of "energy vampires" (which, again, I'm not fond of the terminology, but the information itself is valuable). There are also affirmations scattered throughout. Overall, this book is highly practical and informative. I would recommend it to anyone who struggles with overwhelming emotions / addictive behaviors / sensitivities of any kind.

A few of the exercises in the book that are provided are:
- connecting with your body
- connecting with your Higher Power
- energy shielding
- protection from "energy vampires"
- identifying relationship needs

[Karen JEC · Rating 4 out of 5]

When Orloff discussed how empaths can get energy hangovers and not understand if the emotions they're feeling after being with an energy vampire are their own, a lightbulb went off in my head, or a door opened, or however you want to picture it: Eureka.

I listened to the audiobook, which was suitable for 1.25x or 1.5x speed, depending on what else I was doing. There's a lot of information on how to be kinder to sensitive people, and if you find yourself in that category, then you'll hear tips on how to be better at being, and taking care of, yourself. I recommended it to my mum and book club friends, but it's not a blanket recommendation.


Favourite Quotes:

"I want to challenge the status quo and create a new normal for sensitivity."

"An empath is a human sponge who absorbs both the positive and stressful energies around them into their own bodies. They have an extremely sensitive neurological system and they don't have the same filters to block out things that others have. Empaths feel everything."

"Empathy is the medicine the world needs."

"People commonly catch other peoples' feelings when working in groups… This ability to synchronize moods with another person is crucial for smooth interpersonal relationships."

"Not everyone will understand you, but that's OK."

"The breath is the sacred prana: it's the life force, it's your sense of power."

"It's not just dropping into sleep out of exhaustion; it's easing into it that's so beautiful."

"I like my bed more than I like most other people."

"Spirituality is the energy of the heart… Only spirit can fill you."

"Eat for energy."

[Nicole · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kind of an 'beginners guide to empaths', and probably a fantastic resource for our non-empath friends to better understand life with the senses turned way up. An interesting read, geared more for the "introverted empath", which I am predominately not. I found myself viewing empaths as a kind of neurodiverse people, which was an interesting, though no expressly stated in the book.

My take away was that we cannot change the external to better suit our empathy - it didn't seem practical for me. We can't 'avoid angry people', as the author suggests, or tell our friends not to exhibit dramatic emotions. I feel, instead, we need to develop our own toolkit, and cope with the world around us. It just seemed deeply unlikely and impossible to me. But maybe that's how I move through the world...?

Many of the coping strategies in this book were ones I found impractical for my daily life. There were many that overlapped with how I move through the world already, which was interesting.

[Cassi · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked up this book after my therapist, whom I was seeing for increasing agoraphobia and social anxiety, said I was an empath. It was quite a relief to learn this is a real, known quality and not just woowoo. Orloff’s commiseration and descriptions helped me to not feel alone or crazy, and her techniques for dealing gave me a good place to start. I especially liked the chapter on being in relationships and parenting. They edified so many of my needs and feelings, and also gave us some real world tools to work with. This geek felt like going to a therapist and getting good help to live in the world.

[Lisa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting insights to types of personalities/people we all experience. Some ideas that hadn't occurred to me before, so it was worth the time. I listened to the audio, and sometimes her voice sounded a bit whiny. The end didn't wrap things up, kind of left things hanging; and there were several tips that were repeated in different areas, which made me think it could have been shorter or she was trying to make it longer.

[Jill Ann Lim · Rating 4 out of 5]

As far as content, this was 5 stars for me. Incredibly informative and enlightening for my empathic tendencies, many characteristics I didn’t know were empathic.

As far as logistics, 3 stars, I wish this audio book was better split into chapters. The chapter transitions don’t entirely match where she changes topics. It’s hard to refer back to things outside of dropping my own bookmarks in (and that’s not easy while driving).

[Ian McGaffey · Rating 1 out of 5]

I found this to not be a relevant or engaging subject for me. I originally thought i vould be an empath but the levels the ahors explain seem to go deeper. This book is about interventions and coping methods, which are not something tha i feel i need. This book may hold value to others but i struggled with getting it done.

[Neale Sourna · Rating 4 out of 5]

Listened to audio download from my library. Then bought epub version. This is a lot more useful and insightful than Star Trek's misconception of all things psi; especially empaths. Yes, that includes the wilful misuse and abuse of the character Deana Troi.

Also useful for those who are considered sensitive or "overly sensitive", mediums, telepaths, etc.

[Lizz · Rating 2 out of 5]

The book really resonated with me. I felt this companion wasn't any new info or new tools. It just reiterated what was covered in the book. I wish it had more strategies or deeper content than what I had already read.

[Dodie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book. The book is exactly as the title says. The book shares different tools to help empathies get through the day to day obstacles that empathies deal with. The book has greatly helped me with techniques that I can use and feel good about myself.

[Amanda Martinelli · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Audi w version of this book doesn’t do it justice. I need to purchase the workbook. Shadow work, setting boundaries, and identifying needs are hands on work. You don’t get as much out of this very helpful book by listening only to the audio.

[Meg · Rating 2 out of 5]

A bit woo-woo for my taste, but some of the content resonated with me. I'm curious to read more about Highly Sensitive People; I still don't believe in crystals or aromatherapy.

[Haneen · Rating 3 out of 5]

A good repetition of her book, but seemed to end abruptly.

[Bombon · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ummm....

[Robin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some validating info and tools for empaths, but also some recs that seemed like a stretch and were too new agey for my comfort. Useful overall.

[Alana Allen · Rating 3 out of 5]

This audio book helped me begin to understand Empaths and the different techniques to help acknowledge and understand the anxiety that stems from an empathetic perspective and state of being.

[Sara · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars. There are parts of this boom that are 5 stars and there are parts of this book that are 1.

[Phantom_fox · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5

[Liz · Rating 4 out of 5]

Again, similar. Very helpful.

[April Bradford]

Hmm a bit woo woo at times but still some valuable insights.

As always, just take what you need from the book

[Sue · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you've already read "The Empath's Survival Guide" by the same author, then this is a nice companion guide. If you haven't read it, then start with that book first before you read this one. It's got a lot of the same ideas, but is much more conversational in style. The practice and practical exercises and meditations are fantastic. The science backing for both is iffy. But the framework and thought exercises are super helpful. For that alone, I highly recommend for all HSP (Highly Sensitive People) or parents/friends/bosses of such.

[Anastassia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Prior to listening to this, I didn’t give much thought to whether I was an empath or what that would mean, but this book made me realize that I have quite strong empathic tendencies. I found that many of the descriptors, stories, and advice offered resonated with me very strongly, and a month after reading it I am already more at peace with my sensitivities and self-care needs.
🍃
For example, I have always felt kind of guilty for being “too sensitive” because I am immediately and quite strongly repulsed by loud places, crowds, bright light, small talk, negativity from people, heated conversations, yelling, violence, pain & suffering (of people, animals, plants, in person or in media) people under the influence of alcohol/substances, passive-aggressiveness, and a myriad of other things. Exposure to these, even when I am not directly involved or the things occurring do not concern me, almost always makes me at best mildly annoyed, and at worst, extremely anxious to the point of my heart rate jumping to the 130s, or being so sick to my stomach that I have to lay down in the shower in the dark to recover.
✌🏼
Living in such a busy interconnected tech-based world I often feel like I am being bombarded by stimuli through all of my senses and cannot ever fully disconnect to rest and recover as much as I need. This book has helped me understand myself better, and hopefully I can do less “coping” and more “thriving”.
📚
I wanted to share this book because if you ever feel like you take on negative emotions or get overwhelmed by things, maybe you have empathic tendencies, and the tools in this book could help you take care of yourself better! I think if I had read this as a teen, my high school and university experiences would have been much less overwhelming and stressful, because I would have taken better care of myself. The book has already made a big impact on my daily well-being, and I have bought Judith’s book of 365 self-care activities for empaths, a guided journal, and a deck of cards with affirmations and guidance.

[ellen · Rating 2 out of 5]

I got real skeptical after the idea of empaths eating meat.