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Until the Shadows Lengthen
BEWARE THE CALIGINENT
Saffron has been imprisoned in Medlock's Detention, where the guards are soulless, the prisoners are secretive, and the shadows are sharpening their claws. But she knows something even darker is lurking in the depths of the cells.
Her friend Ray was detained here before he mysteriously vanished. The only clues he left were warning messages about a monster that feeds on thoughts and devours sanity. A monster that may still be watching from the dark corners of every room.
THE CALIGINENT WILL EAT YOUR MIND
Saffron is now determined to discover what happened to Ray. She is willing to search through forbidden rooms, cultish séances, and brainwashing drug trials to uncover the secrets kept in the ever-growing shadows. Including the secrets she's keeping from herself.
RUN WHILE YOU STILL CAN
Saffron has been imprisoned in Medlock's Detention, where the guards are soulless, the prisoners are secretive, and the shadows are sharpening their claws. But she knows something even darker is lurking in the depths of the cells.
Her friend Ray was detained here before he mysteriously vanished. The only clues he left were warning messages about a monster that feeds on thoughts and devours sanity. A monster that may still be watching from the dark corners of every room.
THE CALIGINENT WILL EAT YOUR MIND
Saffron is now determined to discover what happened to Ray. She is willing to search through forbidden rooms, cultish séances, and brainwashing drug trials to uncover the secrets kept in the ever-growing shadows. Including the secrets she's keeping from herself.
RUN WHILE YOU STILL CAN
274 pages, Kindle Edition
Published November 27, 2023
180 people are currently reading
9709 people want to read
About the author
Hannah Clayton
2 books40 followersHannah Clayton lives in Manchester, UK. By day, she supports people’s mental health while completing her doctorate in clinical psychology. By night, she writes unsettling psychological thrillers, fuelled by her fascination with the human psyche. This passion led to the creation of her novels 'Until the Shadows Lengthen' and 'You are but Dust,' which explore the power of our minds to both save and destroy us.
Drawing on her clinical psychology work, Hannah has witnessed both the darkest struggles and the extraordinary resilience of the human spirit. Through her novels, she explores this delicate balance, portraying the shadows that follow us all as well as the glimmers of hope that light our way.
Drawing on her clinical psychology work, Hannah has witnessed both the darkest struggles and the extraordinary resilience of the human spirit. Through her novels, she explores this delicate balance, portraying the shadows that follow us all as well as the glimmers of hope that light our way.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 117 reviews
April 1, 2024
Hello!!
I wrote this book so I am obviously very biased, but I wanted to use this space to talk about what you can expect.
This is a young adult psychological thriller/horror book. It focuses on what happens to our minds when we are pushed to the brink. There is no blood or gore, as instead it is full of secrets, reveals, and plot twists. Direct internal thoughts are another huge part of the narrative and these slowly increase over the course of the book as reality slips from the grasp of the protagonist.
Be prepared for a chaotic read as you get lost inside someone's mind: phrases may repeat as repressed memories/thoughts try to make their way to the surface, the narrator may 'forget' to mention vital information, and the chapter structure may become confusing as you lose all sense of day/time/place. So make sure you hold on to your sanity when you read this book: it's all you have left.
If you're a fan of films/books like The Shining, Fight Club, Last Night in Soho, and Black Swan, then hopefully this should fit your interests.
WARNING: Given the heavy psychological aspects of the book, there are underlying themes of mental health. This includes negative thoughts, suicidal references, and grief. I have worked in clinical psychology for the past several years and have also had personal experiences with these themes, so I like to think I have written about these topics sensitively yet realistically. But please do consider these themes before reading as your wellbeing is important!
Lastly, I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. And make sure you keep an eye on the dark corners of your room as your read... because once the shadows enter your mind, there is no way to get them out.
I wrote this book so I am obviously very biased, but I wanted to use this space to talk about what you can expect.
This is a young adult psychological thriller/horror book. It focuses on what happens to our minds when we are pushed to the brink. There is no blood or gore, as instead it is full of secrets, reveals, and plot twists. Direct internal thoughts are another huge part of the narrative and these slowly increase over the course of the book as reality slips from the grasp of the protagonist.
Be prepared for a chaotic read as you get lost inside someone's mind: phrases may repeat as repressed memories/thoughts try to make their way to the surface, the narrator may 'forget' to mention vital information, and the chapter structure may become confusing as you lose all sense of day/time/place. So make sure you hold on to your sanity when you read this book: it's all you have left.
If you're a fan of films/books like The Shining, Fight Club, Last Night in Soho, and Black Swan, then hopefully this should fit your interests.
WARNING: Given the heavy psychological aspects of the book, there are underlying themes of mental health. This includes negative thoughts, suicidal references, and grief. I have worked in clinical psychology for the past several years and have also had personal experiences with these themes, so I like to think I have written about these topics sensitively yet realistically. But please do consider these themes before reading as your wellbeing is important!
Lastly, I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. And make sure you keep an eye on the dark corners of your room as your read... because once the shadows enter your mind, there is no way to get them out.
January 7, 2024
until the shadows lengthen is a sinister but wholly entertaining psychological horror that explores themes of mental health in such a uniquely interesting way. the first half is underpinned by a tension that genuinely had me hooked as the mystery slowly unravelled. the second half, however, is where the pace really started to pick up; i really enjoyed seeing how reality slipped away, and many of the reveals were SO satisfyingly unexpected. although the writing was be slightly repetitive at times, i loved how the main character's internal thoughts were written, particularly closer to the end of the book.
a fast-paced and intense read that i would highly recommend, especially if you're a fan of psychological horror/thrillers. 4 stars.
a fast-paced and intense read that i would highly recommend, especially if you're a fan of psychological horror/thrillers. 4 stars.
November 7, 2024
**Read with my book club**
pg. 307 -
The fight against yourself is such a fearful war. It is a fight against your very existence, where all your dreams become a nightmare truth. And all your thoughts turn into torture and torment. It feels as though the world no longer wants you there. It feels like you no longer want to be there too. The world becomes nothing more than a stage. It is merely a place to act your part. A place for you to hide the very truth. It is where you pretend you are fine, when in reality you know you're not.
Shoutout to the caliginent in my life that's been there for as long as I can remember.
pg. 307 -
The fight against yourself is such a fearful war. It is a fight against your very existence, where all your dreams become a nightmare truth. And all your thoughts turn into torture and torment. It feels as though the world no longer wants you there. It feels like you no longer want to be there too. The world becomes nothing more than a stage. It is merely a place to act your part. A place for you to hide the very truth. It is where you pretend you are fine, when in reality you know you're not.
Shoutout to the caliginent in my life that's been there for as long as I can remember.
October 30, 2023
I’m so glad I was asked to be an ARC reader for this book. I was ready to jump right in as soon as I got the email but I had to hold myself back and finish what I was doing, but literally as soon as I started reading, I was hooked.
I opened the link just after 3PM, and now at 9PM, I’ve finished the entire thing. The fact that I finished it in 6 hours really tells you how amazing this book is, I rarely ever finish books in one day, let alone in 6 hours.
This fantastic piece of writing focuses on an incredibly important message hidden under the guise of a monster named ‘The Caliginent’, and for the majority of the story, I genuinely believed it was a monster alongside the main character. The author did a truly amazing job at leaving us in the dark just like Saffron, the mc, was. It wasn’t about 3/4 of the way in that I realised that the ‘monster’ was just a metaphor when I was reading the Caliginent’s thoughts? dialogue? whatever it was speaking into Saffron’s mind, that i realised that there really was no physical monster terrorising Saffron and it was, in fact, just her own pain and suffering.
‘Trust no one’ is what the Caliginent repeated multiple times whilst it was trying to speak to Saffron and I honestly believed it too, I didn’t trust any of the characters until the very end when I realised it wasn’t actually as evil as both the main character and I thought it was. I didn’t trust Sylver, Ashiya, Moses, the mayor, not even Indie, and I didn’t trust myself for not trusting them. Hannah Clayton is an incredibly talented writer and the use of repetition throughout the book only goes to further prove my point. For example, Indie’s shoes that were way too big for his feet. You don’t understand how important the repetition of a seemingly nugatory statement like that is until you reach the very end. Everything point made in this book that doesn’t make sense all makes sense in the end as Saffron’s mind clears.
And the fact that her mind clears when she lets the Caliginent in makes the style of Hannah’s writing clear up too. Throughout the book, the writing is erratic since it includes what is happening in Saffron’s reality, the caliginent speaking to her, and flashbacks, so you really need to concentrate to understand what is going on and I believe this relates to how messy Saffron’s mental state is whilst she’s in the detention centre, and before she got there too. When Saffron’s mind clears, so does the writing. It seems calmer. It’s just Saffron and not everything all at once. It’s phenomenal.
I can honestly see this book being turned into a movie.
Thank you so much for letting me be an ARC reader, Hannah! It was a pleasure to read your book!!
I opened the link just after 3PM, and now at 9PM, I’ve finished the entire thing. The fact that I finished it in 6 hours really tells you how amazing this book is, I rarely ever finish books in one day, let alone in 6 hours.
This fantastic piece of writing focuses on an incredibly important message hidden under the guise of a monster named ‘The Caliginent’, and for the majority of the story, I genuinely believed it was a monster alongside the main character. The author did a truly amazing job at leaving us in the dark just like Saffron, the mc, was. It wasn’t about 3/4 of the way in that I realised that the ‘monster’ was just a metaphor when I was reading the Caliginent’s thoughts? dialogue? whatever it was speaking into Saffron’s mind, that i realised that there really was no physical monster terrorising Saffron and it was, in fact, just her own pain and suffering.
‘Trust no one’ is what the Caliginent repeated multiple times whilst it was trying to speak to Saffron and I honestly believed it too, I didn’t trust any of the characters until the very end when I realised it wasn’t actually as evil as both the main character and I thought it was. I didn’t trust Sylver, Ashiya, Moses, the mayor, not even Indie, and I didn’t trust myself for not trusting them. Hannah Clayton is an incredibly talented writer and the use of repetition throughout the book only goes to further prove my point. For example, Indie’s shoes that were way too big for his feet. You don’t understand how important the repetition of a seemingly nugatory statement like that is until you reach the very end. Everything point made in this book that doesn’t make sense all makes sense in the end as Saffron’s mind clears.
And the fact that her mind clears when she lets the Caliginent in makes the style of Hannah’s writing clear up too. Throughout the book, the writing is erratic since it includes what is happening in Saffron’s reality, the caliginent speaking to her, and flashbacks, so you really need to concentrate to understand what is going on and I believe this relates to how messy Saffron’s mental state is whilst she’s in the detention centre, and before she got there too. When Saffron’s mind clears, so does the writing. It seems calmer. It’s just Saffron and not everything all at once. It’s phenomenal.
I can honestly see this book being turned into a movie.
Thank you so much for letting me be an ARC reader, Hannah! It was a pleasure to read your book!!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 17, 2023
I am now crying
This was honestly far beter then I expected, made me a bunch of small little theories while reading too (none of them where right)
It was a wild ride
This was honestly far beter then I expected, made me a bunch of small little theories while reading too (none of them where right)
It was a wild ride
March 4, 2024
Mama didn’t raise no quitter but DAMN did this book make me want to DNF
January 11, 2024
I love this genre of horror. Took me only three nights to read: couldn’t put it down. I read this as an advanced copy and can’t wait until it comes out for everyone else to buy!! If you like psychological stories I definitely recommend this book! :)
July 13, 2024
THUD THUD THUD.
Firstly, I'd like to say, wow. This whole experience was amazing, Saffron's character really impressed me, seeing her fighting against the truth for such a while until a point she and her shadow made me remember the dialog between Stanley and the Narrator in The Stanley Parable.
I also really enjoyed the chapters slowly showing how much she had lost in her own thoughts.
I was really expecting her to have the same outcome as Ray within the story, but it was also amazing seeing her recovering all by just the acceptance of what had happened.
I really really recommend anyone to read this. It was such a captivating story that I couldn't stop reading.
I'm excited to see the sequel and see more works of the author 🫶
Very well done for your first book 🥳
Firstly, I'd like to say, wow. This whole experience was amazing, Saffron's character really impressed me, seeing her fighting against the truth for such a while until a point she and her shadow made me remember the dialog between Stanley and the Narrator in The Stanley Parable.
I also really enjoyed the chapters slowly showing how much she had lost in her own thoughts.
I was really expecting her to have the same outcome as Ray within the story, but it was also amazing seeing her recovering all by just the acceptance of what had happened.
I really really recommend anyone to read this. It was such a captivating story that I couldn't stop reading.
I'm excited to see the sequel and see more works of the author 🫶
Very well done for your first book 🥳
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 19, 2024
DNF at 131 pages, I really wanted to like this one. The sheer amount of repetitiveness and lack of connection to any of the characters made it tough. I just have no interest to find out what happens to the anyone in this story. May the caliginent get them all.
March 19, 2025
‘Until the Shadow lengthens’
This book does a very good job at showing the protagonist descend into madness and slowly lose trust in everyone including herself.
The emotional parts of this book honestly changed my life a little bit because seeing them represented and explained this way was very meaningful in my opinion!
It is a book I’m honestly glad to have been able to find because I dread to think of a lifetime where I didn’t read it :)
This book does a very good job at showing the protagonist descend into madness and slowly lose trust in everyone including herself.
The emotional parts of this book honestly changed my life a little bit because seeing them represented and explained this way was very meaningful in my opinion!
It is a book I’m honestly glad to have been able to find because I dread to think of a lifetime where I didn’t read it :)
May 15, 2024
9.8/10
Not me praying to God at every turn, to not let this book's end disappoint me, like the previous books did by having such a grand first few chapters then worst last pages.
It didn't!
This book, I loved, making me stutter through this typing: and when I started to stutter it was absolute signal that, it cooked!
I saw about this book in bookstragram once. I don't remember what it says that made me quickly add it to my to-read list. But, as the books I am trying to read bored me to sleep, I picked it up, knowing nothing about the story except that is psychological thriller and surrounds mental illness. I chose wisely, it seems, as get into first few pages. The book is brilliant. Making me ball my eyes out at nighttime!
The story, plot were really good. I used have problem with characters but it is resolved in the end.
For most of the part, I admired author's narration, it might be what intrigued me more. That little tricks she placed Like the names of chapters.
It was really unfair that only few read this book. This is kind of book everyone should read at least once(At least, people like me!) And I don't think I will recommend it to others, for good reasons.
And, finally I am regretting, for not picking this book early.
Looking forward to the books from this author.
THE CALIGINENT WILL CATCH YOU AND EAT YOUR MIND.
Not me praying to God at every turn, to not let this book's end disappoint me, like the previous books did by having such a grand first few chapters then worst last pages.
It didn't!
This book, I loved, making me stutter through this typing: and when I started to stutter it was absolute signal that, it cooked!
I saw about this book in bookstragram once. I don't remember what it says that made me quickly add it to my to-read list. But, as the books I am trying to read bored me to sleep, I picked it up, knowing nothing about the story except that is psychological thriller and surrounds mental illness. I chose wisely, it seems, as get into first few pages. The book is brilliant. Making me ball my eyes out at nighttime!
The story, plot were really good. I used have problem with characters but it is resolved in the end.
For most of the part, I admired author's narration, it might be what intrigued me more. That little tricks she placed Like the names of chapters.
It was really unfair that only few read this book. This is kind of book everyone should read at least once(At least, people like me!) And I don't think I will recommend it to others, for good reasons.
And, finally I am regretting, for not picking this book early.
Looking forward to the books from this author.
Read
September 21, 2024“The fight against yourself is such a fearful war.”
I am so sad it took me so long to finish the book, but God was I so busy with studying for a huge exam coming. Nevertheless, I have no words. This book… oh, this book was heartbreaking. Beautiful. More than everything I had ever read before.
It’s more than horror, more than a psychological thriller. It is life itself that throws its misery and pain on our ephemeral existence.
Life is hard. But “is it worth suffering”?
And this book had proven me that it’s more than one answer to this philosophical question.
It’s a choice. A challenge. A once in a lifetime opportunity or misfortune.
It’s what we make of it. It’s the pain, the sorrow, the happiness, the excitement, the birth, the beauty, the desire, the despair, the determination, the love, and finally, the death that comes for all of us after all.
But it’s okay, isn’t it? The end it’s what we make of it, and I think that’s beautiful.
Thank you for this amazing book and I am so grateful I’ve had the chance to be one of the lucky people who got to read it before its publication.
I am so sad it took me so long to finish the book, but God was I so busy with studying for a huge exam coming. Nevertheless, I have no words. This book… oh, this book was heartbreaking. Beautiful. More than everything I had ever read before.
It’s more than horror, more than a psychological thriller. It is life itself that throws its misery and pain on our ephemeral existence.
Life is hard. But “is it worth suffering”?
And this book had proven me that it’s more than one answer to this philosophical question.
It’s a choice. A challenge. A once in a lifetime opportunity or misfortune.
It’s what we make of it. It’s the pain, the sorrow, the happiness, the excitement, the birth, the beauty, the desire, the despair, the determination, the love, and finally, the death that comes for all of us after all.
But it’s okay, isn’t it? The end it’s what we make of it, and I think that’s beautiful.
Thank you for this amazing book and I am so grateful I’ve had the chance to be one of the lucky people who got to read it before its publication.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 11, 2024
oh my GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD
i was SOBBING by the end of this book.
ITS SO GOOD! SO SO SO GOOD!!!
i don’t want to spoil it, but please read this as soon as you can. it puts mental health into such an interesting perspective to look at.
as someone who’s struggled with anxiety, depression and paranoia my entire life, and has gone through searching for meds that work. this book just puts EVERYTHING into words so incredibly well.
oh my god please read this book, it’s such an experience.
i was SOBBING by the end of this book.
ITS SO GOOD! SO SO SO GOOD!!!
i don’t want to spoil it, but please read this as soon as you can. it puts mental health into such an interesting perspective to look at.
as someone who’s struggled with anxiety, depression and paranoia my entire life, and has gone through searching for meds that work. this book just puts EVERYTHING into words so incredibly well.
oh my god please read this book, it’s such an experience.
February 16, 2024
The author is a genius!
I went from cheering on a spooky monster, to hating the intense depression, to accepting a piece of me. The author is amazing at revealing the details when she wants you to "figure something out." I thought I was so smart, but I was just falling for her traps.
The switches in narrative with first and third person are remarkable. It is a fun mystery, but also a wonderful literary reference for amazing narrative writing.
I went from cheering on a spooky monster, to hating the intense depression, to accepting a piece of me. The author is amazing at revealing the details when she wants you to "figure something out." I thought I was so smart, but I was just falling for her traps.
The switches in narrative with first and third person are remarkable. It is a fun mystery, but also a wonderful literary reference for amazing narrative writing.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 16, 2024
The gradual switch from a mysterious kind of horror to a psychological horror created such a tension it gave me a headache (or maybe that was the tears who knows).
I loved how the author illustrated mental health issues, it made everything so much more realistic than what it first seemed to be!
I loved how the author illustrated mental health issues, it made everything so much more realistic than what it first seemed to be!
January 15, 2024
just saying, i never had a book make me sob this hard. i enjoyed it so much.
February 13, 2024
●●●●●●●○○○
i couldnt put it down after the 40% mark and at the end i just cried and didnt stop. that was oddly comforting tho
i couldnt put it down after the 40% mark and at the end i just cried and didnt stop. that was oddly comforting tho
February 19, 2024
it messed with me and I also couldn't relate more
July 27, 2024
i fucking cried bro
June 24, 2025
This book was not what I was expecting it to be, but not necessarily in a bad way. The whole thing was a creative way to show mental health struggles and did a good job of making me feel as confused/lost as the main character at times. Definitely unique and creative but not exactly my cup of tea.
March 24, 2025
such a beautiful message
February 9, 2024
Def got this one instantly because of a tiktok about the chapter titles (https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8c7Ku9x/) and didn't regret it one bit. It was written in such a unique way and because of that it was one I had to sit down and actually read at some points instead of being able to read a couple pages here and there. But I enjoyed every second of it.
This also came across my feed as I was thinking to a book I read a couple years ago where it followed the MC spiraling and the pages went from white to black as the book progressed. It's so cool when books incorporate more than just words into the story.
This also came across my feed as I was thinking to a book I read a couple years ago where it followed the MC spiraling and the pages went from white to black as the book progressed. It's so cool when books incorporate more than just words into the story.
September 18, 2024
rounded up 2,5 ⭐
March 4, 2025
Wow...... when I started this book I thought it was supposed to be creepy....... didn't realize the emotional Rollercoaster I was about to feel.... that end had me on the verge of tears...... the author did an amazing job diving into ones mind when dealing with loss and depression... truly a beautiful book
March 11, 2024
i tried with all of my might to like this. i summoned all of my strength. mustered up all of my gusto. i failed, just as this book did. for me, there was nothing redeemable here—which is deeply, deeply disappointing, because it COULD have been good. the premise: our FMC, teetering on the brink of insanity, forced into a prisonlike place in pursuit of what mysteriously killed/disappeared her best friend—sounds fascinating, right? WRONG. the writing was so circular that there was three times the amount of words needed, yet nothing was said. the characters were all so one-note that none of them felt real—or, even if that were the point, even remotely likable. i am typically a defender of the often-annoying, sometimes-ridiculous FMC—i wanted to hit Saffron with a brick, and alas, that probably still wouldn't have cut any of the narrative down. and let me be clear: NOTHING happened—regardless of how much was set up to: from the incessant repetitive nature of Saffron's rumination to spoken words, to the THUD-THUD-THUD of a mysterious (boring) caliginent (which was...what? it was never truly defined), to the Greek mythology comparisons (slung in halfway through the narrative, as if the reader wouldn't notice they were not present in the beginning?), to the Helios drug trials, to the ending (go girl give us NOTHING!), to what would have been a fascinating narrative stylistic choice (third-person POV intercut with first-person, except it meant fuck-all by the end regardless). i didn't even hate this. i WISH i hated it! i wish i FELT SOMETHING! this was 330 pages of absolutely nothing. do not waste your time. it's not worth it! i promise !
February 16, 2025
This story is so well written that I have to drop it. A horror novel about mental illness isn’t exactly the type of thing I should be reading right now but the author still deserves this high rating. I can not express how well written this book is and if you can handle these heavy topics I highly recommend.
March 9, 2025
2.5 ⭐️ I kinda feel bad for the review since I‘d really like to support indie authors and I really appreciate the effort to make the book more inclusive.
The premise itself and the connection to mental illness is good, but I just couldn’t get into it somehow. I just didn’t fell connected to the characters at all … I had a really hard time getting through the first half of the book - the second half was more enjoyable though!
We were reading this for our bookclub…maybe it is just not my type of genre 🤷🏻♀️
The premise itself and the connection to mental illness is good, but I just couldn’t get into it somehow. I just didn’t fell connected to the characters at all … I had a really hard time getting through the first half of the book - the second half was more enjoyable though!
We were reading this for our bookclub…maybe it is just not my type of genre 🤷🏻♀️
March 19, 2024
I’ll give it a 2.5
The concept was such a wonderful and creative idea. I rather enjoyed the perspective on mental health and what it feels like to be trapped in your own mind. Only reason I’m rating it low is because I personally didn’t like the writing style. Some parts felt a bit confusing and I had a hard time connecting with the characters. Just overall hard to follow. Nonetheless, it was a really creative idea and I appreciate the honesty and reality of what it’s like dealing with mental health.
The concept was such a wonderful and creative idea. I rather enjoyed the perspective on mental health and what it feels like to be trapped in your own mind. Only reason I’m rating it low is because I personally didn’t like the writing style. Some parts felt a bit confusing and I had a hard time connecting with the characters. Just overall hard to follow. Nonetheless, it was a really creative idea and I appreciate the honesty and reality of what it’s like dealing with mental health.
January 27, 2025
This book had me thinking I was going insane, and this was exactly how the author intended for me to feel. I was questioning myself as much as our main character, Saffron did. The switching up between 3rd and 1st person really kept me on my toes, and every time the 1st person narrator came in, I was eager to hear what they had to say. It was a compelling story about how we shouldn't hide away and ignore our grief and mental struggles, as that way they can damage us further. It was a simple story told in the most extraordinary way, and I can't wait to read the prequel
February 1, 2025
This was a psychological horror book. In the beginning, it presents the mystery that Saffron faces on her own. But as the story progresses, through the middle and eventually to the end, everything suddenly makes sense. I found it even more meaningful knowing that the author comes from a psychology background and has experienced the grief of losing someone multiple times in her life. Now I understand that sometimes we should let the caliginent into our lives, it’s a part of living. After all, we are the ones who decide whether our lives are worth suffering through or not.
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