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Everything Left to Remember: My Mother, Our Memories, and a Journey Through the Rocky Mountains
Between Two Kingdoms meets Wild . In this heart wrenching and inspirational memoir a woman and her mother, who is suffering from dementia, embark on a road trip through national parks, revisiting the memories, and the mountains, that made them who they are.
Steph Jagger lost her mother before she lost her. Her mother, stricken with an incurable disease that slowly erases all sense of self, struggles to remember her favorite drink, her favorite song, and―perhaps most heartbreaking of all―Steph herself. Steph watches as the woman who loved and raised her slips away before getting the chance to tell her story, and so Steph makes a promise: her mother will walk it and she will write it.
Too aware of her mother’s waning memory, Steph proposes that the two take a camping trip out to Montana―which her mother, on the urging of Steph’s father, agrees to embark upon. An adventure full of horseback riding, hiking, and “tenting” out West quickly turns into one woman’s reflection on childhood, motherhood, personhood―and what it means to love someone who doesn’t quite remember the person she spent her lifetime becoming.
A staggeringly beautiful examination of how stories are passed down through generations and from Mother Nature, Everything Left to Remember brings us the wisdom of who our memories make us under the constellations of the vast Montana sky.
Steph Jagger lost her mother before she lost her. Her mother, stricken with an incurable disease that slowly erases all sense of self, struggles to remember her favorite drink, her favorite song, and―perhaps most heartbreaking of all―Steph herself. Steph watches as the woman who loved and raised her slips away before getting the chance to tell her story, and so Steph makes a promise: her mother will walk it and she will write it.
Too aware of her mother’s waning memory, Steph proposes that the two take a camping trip out to Montana―which her mother, on the urging of Steph’s father, agrees to embark upon. An adventure full of horseback riding, hiking, and “tenting” out West quickly turns into one woman’s reflection on childhood, motherhood, personhood―and what it means to love someone who doesn’t quite remember the person she spent her lifetime becoming.
A staggeringly beautiful examination of how stories are passed down through generations and from Mother Nature, Everything Left to Remember brings us the wisdom of who our memories make us under the constellations of the vast Montana sky.
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Published April 26, 2022
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 180 reviews
May 1, 2022
3.5 A touching story of a daughter trying to cope with her mother's descent into dementia. In an effort to get to know a mother she felt she really didn't know, she plans a two week camping journey to the Rockey mountain state Park. There are humorous moments, beautiful descriptions of wildlife and fauna, and many moments of introspection. Family trips are always illuminating and this one proved more so.
A very different kind of journey, one with a descending time limit. Can she find her answers before they are no longer there?
A very different kind of journey, one with a descending time limit. Can she find her answers before they are no longer there?
April 24, 2022
Thanks to Flatiron Books for this ARC book for a fair review. Upon receiving it, I knew it would be incredibly heart-wrenching because probably all of us have someone in our family who’s had or who has (or both) some form of dementia, and it’s unbelievably painful.
Oh this book—I couldn’t put it down. This author Steph Jagger has really taken the time to cut into every little jagged fold and examine what life really means. So many amazing quotable words from her like:
I had been encouraged to take up space in the world—but never within myself.
Begging is what you do when you sense something scary is true. Praying is what you do when you’re driving through a river valley, trying to find a way to turn all of that fear into some sort of surrender.
Great Mother’s Day book. Highly recommended 💕
Oh this book—I couldn’t put it down. This author Steph Jagger has really taken the time to cut into every little jagged fold and examine what life really means. So many amazing quotable words from her like:
I had been encouraged to take up space in the world—but never within myself.
Begging is what you do when you sense something scary is true. Praying is what you do when you’re driving through a river valley, trying to find a way to turn all of that fear into some sort of surrender.
Great Mother’s Day book. Highly recommended 💕
May 1, 2022
For anyone who has experienced a loved one being diagnosed with Alzheimer's or any other type of dementia, this will hit you right in those hard memories. The journey of life, nature, mother and daughter, past and present, it all felt connected to me. This circle of human experience on earth. It is a humbling and heartbreaking read.
March 27, 2022
Steph Jagger brings us along on a "tenting" journey across Montana, Wyoming and Idaho, to join her and her mother Sheila as they come to terms with the wilderness on the outside and more importantly on the inside. Sheila had been recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease, a horrendous dementia that pillages the mind of everything you recognize, until you are a mere shell of yourself. Steph wanted to bring her mother on a final road trip before she lost her mother completely to the disease, before she became unable to ask the questions she should have asked and couldn't.
This is a tale about mothers and daughters, about nature and nurture, about forgetting and remembering.
"Because losing something is one thing. But to be in the midst of losing it- to be in some liminal place, betwixt and between, where you must watch the thing as it goes- is a whole other story. I can't think of something harder to lock eyes with. I can't think of a single thing I would rather not see, never mind feel, and then have to remember."
Jagger shows us how we often try to be bigger and better than our mothers. It feels almost natural, but as we grow we come to realize that we will never be bigger than what come before us. Just as our mothers will never be bigger than our grandmothers. We grow and develop on a mountain of ancestors, with ourselves on the summit, looking out into the unknown. Jagger realizes her mother silently taught her about the mother of all, Earth, and how we as a species have consistently thought we were bigger and more important than the very land that delivered us and sustains us.
I could go on. Absolutely loved this book. A few critiques were minor that didn't detract from my overall enjoyment of reading: she used the rhetorical question driver a little too much sometimes, like asking question after question until the whole paragraph was interrogatives. It was overused at times and sometimes brought me out of the flow of her narrative. I also thought the bear dreams were a little new-age for my taste. I confess I'm not a sleep doctor or specialist, but her dreams seemed a bit on the nose and I wonder if they weren't imagined to spice up her narrative, some fiction in her non-fiction, which I'm okay with for the most part. However she claims it actually happened. Dream-talk makes my eye roll and brings me out of the narrative, rushing to the next paragraph, hoping she'd move on from the fluff.
Thank you Goodreads for the giveaway opportunity! I love the privilege to read a book before publication, helping a writer get her book some reviews and stars on her Goodreads entry. They're well-deserved! Thanks for this one, Steph Jagger!
This is a tale about mothers and daughters, about nature and nurture, about forgetting and remembering.
"Because losing something is one thing. But to be in the midst of losing it- to be in some liminal place, betwixt and between, where you must watch the thing as it goes- is a whole other story. I can't think of something harder to lock eyes with. I can't think of a single thing I would rather not see, never mind feel, and then have to remember."
Jagger shows us how we often try to be bigger and better than our mothers. It feels almost natural, but as we grow we come to realize that we will never be bigger than what come before us. Just as our mothers will never be bigger than our grandmothers. We grow and develop on a mountain of ancestors, with ourselves on the summit, looking out into the unknown. Jagger realizes her mother silently taught her about the mother of all, Earth, and how we as a species have consistently thought we were bigger and more important than the very land that delivered us and sustains us.
I could go on. Absolutely loved this book. A few critiques were minor that didn't detract from my overall enjoyment of reading: she used the rhetorical question driver a little too much sometimes, like asking question after question until the whole paragraph was interrogatives. It was overused at times and sometimes brought me out of the flow of her narrative. I also thought the bear dreams were a little new-age for my taste. I confess I'm not a sleep doctor or specialist, but her dreams seemed a bit on the nose and I wonder if they weren't imagined to spice up her narrative, some fiction in her non-fiction, which I'm okay with for the most part. However she claims it actually happened. Dream-talk makes my eye roll and brings me out of the narrative, rushing to the next paragraph, hoping she'd move on from the fluff.
Thank you Goodreads for the giveaway opportunity! I love the privilege to read a book before publication, helping a writer get her book some reviews and stars on her Goodreads entry. They're well-deserved! Thanks for this one, Steph Jagger!
March 29, 2022
I was truly excited when I was awarded this book in a goodreads giveaway. The synopsis pulled at my heart strings in the way only a grandchild watching her grandmother in the beginnings of this struggle understands. Plus it fit into one of the last categories in my annual reading challenge with friends. I launched myself into the story fully expecting to cry or at least tear up multiple times. I am my mothers daughter after all, and she cries at everything. However, while this book was beautifully written, I felt like I was meandering around a point that’s never really made or reached. The only sure thing I have drawn from this book is a distinct needs to get back out into the wilderness. As a travel nurse I used to commune with nature all the time having traveled to places like Alaska, Seattle, Phoenix, Colorado Springs, Portsmouth New Hampshire, etc. I identified with her love and need of Mother Nature, and didn’t truly realize what had been missing from my life until she spoke of the steadiness and calmness the wild ground gave her. So while I derived only confusion and sadness from her journey, I’m newly committed to finding the piece of my soul I’ve left behind. I know Mother Nature has been holding it safely for me in hopes that I’ll return. Thank you for that.
July 29, 2022
I was very excited about this book when I first started it. It being a memoir, I was drawn to it right away. However, I kept expecting there to be *more*. It feels like Jagger has many realizations throughout but not much happens. It’s not a bad book per se, but there’s definitely nothing exciting. Even in memoirs, I like there to be some sort of action or anticipation - there was none of that here.
June 11, 2022
Appreciate the opportunity to read this advance copy via GoodReads giveaway.
Reading through other reviews, I would say that my experience with the book is a mismatch between reader and story. I'm glad so many others greatly enjoyed it. For me, there is too much time spent on too many different Big Philosophical Ideas. I was more engaged in actions than the philosophical pondering. Yes, I wanted to know what it was like to have a mother with Alzheimer's (a parent with which you'd maybe had more than just the usual mother/daughter challenges) but this wasn't quite the approach that worked for me.
Knowing the reaction of the trail riding and rafting leaders to the information that someone with memory loss was going to be (to some degree) their responsibility for the trips was really good to have because, from my place of no experience, I was at first aghast that she would take her mother on these activities.
I think I would understand someone getting testy with repeatedly being asked the same questions, but the couple of examples the author gave (especially when she was stressed about running out of gas) came across (to me) as more her making than her mother's memory problems. Which I'll say kudos to the author for being honest.
One spot stood out as very strong, an example of what I was looking for me of: There is a point when they're at Grand Teton National Park where she doesn't accompany her mother to the toilet (not the first time I thought that in her shoes I would have handled the situation differently) and this time the author explains in detail how this would be different in six months, a year, or more later. I appreciated having those benchmarks.
Reading through other reviews, I would say that my experience with the book is a mismatch between reader and story. I'm glad so many others greatly enjoyed it. For me, there is too much time spent on too many different Big Philosophical Ideas. I was more engaged in actions than the philosophical pondering. Yes, I wanted to know what it was like to have a mother with Alzheimer's (a parent with which you'd maybe had more than just the usual mother/daughter challenges) but this wasn't quite the approach that worked for me.
Knowing the reaction of the trail riding and rafting leaders to the information that someone with memory loss was going to be (to some degree) their responsibility for the trips was really good to have because, from my place of no experience, I was at first aghast that she would take her mother on these activities.
I think I would understand someone getting testy with repeatedly being asked the same questions, but the couple of examples the author gave (especially when she was stressed about running out of gas) came across (to me) as more her making than her mother's memory problems. Which I'll say kudos to the author for being honest.
One spot stood out as very strong, an example of what I was looking for me of: There is a point when they're at Grand Teton National Park where she doesn't accompany her mother to the toilet (not the first time I thought that in her shoes I would have handled the situation differently) and this time the author explains in detail how this would be different in six months, a year, or more later. I appreciated having those benchmarks.
April 26, 2022
Everything Left to Remember is out today, and if you’ve ever wondered at the untold stories living inside your ancestors, this memoir by Steph Jagger is for you.
Told in her signature wit and wisdom, Steph takes us along an epic camping trip she took with her mother, who had recently been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. It’s a beautiful, poignant, and often hilarious look at family, place, and time, weaving in gorgeous landscapes and magical insights into what is said and left silent in families.
Told in her signature wit and wisdom, Steph takes us along an epic camping trip she took with her mother, who had recently been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. It’s a beautiful, poignant, and often hilarious look at family, place, and time, weaving in gorgeous landscapes and magical insights into what is said and left silent in families.
March 3, 2022
Wow! Steph Jagger welcomes the reader on a journey to discover herself through her relationship with her mother, and with the mother of us all, Mother Nature. Everything Left to Remember is a beautifully written, incredibly intimate story of a woman's search to find herself while losing her mother to dementia while "tenting" in the mountains. This book invites reflection and introspection, acceptance and self-compassion.
Gems are scattered throughout; one of my favorites: The story doesn't lie in what's gone, but in what remains. You have to let one thing turn into something else, you have to let it transform...
Thank you, Goodreads, for making this book available to me. It's one I'll read again. and again.
Gems are scattered throughout; one of my favorites: The story doesn't lie in what's gone, but in what remains. You have to let one thing turn into something else, you have to let it transform...
Thank you, Goodreads, for making this book available to me. It's one I'll read again. and again.
May 2, 2022
Full stop disclosure: Steph and I are writing buddies so I have read this book multiple times through the writing and editing process. Which is a little intimidating. Coming fresh to a book, over and over, isn't easy. However, Everything Left to Remember, revels itself again and again. There is a depth to the imagery, a rich vastness to the exploration, that never got diluted. Let this book remind you what it truly means to be held.
April 5, 2022
Amazing! The rare book that is profound, inspiring and entertaining all at once. Highly recommend.
May 19, 2022
Deeply touching and beautifully articulated, Jagger takes us along on a trip with her mum, who is in the throes of Alzheimer's disease. She can't always recognise her, and her short term memory is not reliable anymore, which leads her to repeat questions over and over, and double-check every single thing before doing it. The nature of this disease is that beyond a certain point, it only ever gets harder for the caretakers, because the sufferer becomes completely disconnected from reality. By the end of the trip, Jagger's mother didn't seem to remember any of it.
Jagger focuses the narration on her relationship with her mother and relates it to her upbringing and her view of herself as a person. It's very common for people to define themselves entirely as who they are to other people. There are endless bios on social media profiles that go "Mother, Daughter, Sister" and so on. And our relationships to other people are very important, but it's not who we are. By definition, it's who we are to others, not to ourselves. If all of a sudden those people ceased to exist, we wouldn't disappear, and we certainly shouldn't feel like we've lost our identity. The way other people see us shouldn't influence very much with who we are to ourselves, lest we end up with severe anxiety. This may explain why anxiety is so rampant.
The other aspect of her identity she explores is the way she learned how to suppress all her negative feelings from her family, to never ask any uncomfortable questions or generally create an awkward situation. This was also not very healthy.
During this trip, Jagger comes to know her mother in a completely different way: more grounded and stripped of externalities, as her mother loses all the memories that aren't who she is, until what's left is her core. This frees Jagger to do some of that too, and figure out who she is and will be once her mother is not there to witness her.
Jagger focuses the narration on her relationship with her mother and relates it to her upbringing and her view of herself as a person. It's very common for people to define themselves entirely as who they are to other people. There are endless bios on social media profiles that go "Mother, Daughter, Sister" and so on. And our relationships to other people are very important, but it's not who we are. By definition, it's who we are to others, not to ourselves. If all of a sudden those people ceased to exist, we wouldn't disappear, and we certainly shouldn't feel like we've lost our identity. The way other people see us shouldn't influence very much with who we are to ourselves, lest we end up with severe anxiety. This may explain why anxiety is so rampant.
The other aspect of her identity she explores is the way she learned how to suppress all her negative feelings from her family, to never ask any uncomfortable questions or generally create an awkward situation. This was also not very healthy.
During this trip, Jagger comes to know her mother in a completely different way: more grounded and stripped of externalities, as her mother loses all the memories that aren't who she is, until what's left is her core. This frees Jagger to do some of that too, and figure out who she is and will be once her mother is not there to witness her.
June 19, 2023
This memoir might fall short for someone who isn’t living with the damage that Alzheimer’s wrecks on a loved one, but for someone who is - it is an important read. I especially I loved that Jagger’s words helped me to understand what I am going through with my own mom and how I can be changed by all that has been left behind.
In addition, some of the author’s words really struck me. In speaking to her dad about what to do with her mom’s diagnosis and care, she says, “I’m not going to tell you not to ask for a miracle, but don’t you see? We’ve already lived one. We’ve lived a thousand of them.” In the midst of the worst that life can throw at us, we need to remember all of the beauty and all of the ways that God showed up. That is what will help us walk through the grief of any diagnosis.
In addition, some of the author’s words really struck me. In speaking to her dad about what to do with her mom’s diagnosis and care, she says, “I’m not going to tell you not to ask for a miracle, but don’t you see? We’ve already lived one. We’ve lived a thousand of them.” In the midst of the worst that life can throw at us, we need to remember all of the beauty and all of the ways that God showed up. That is what will help us walk through the grief of any diagnosis.
April 6, 2022
I had the privilege of reading a pre-release digital copy of this book. This is a must read in hardcover!
To me it feels like her writing is at the intersection of nonfiction and fiction. Where you know the story comes from reality, and on the other hand, the way that she writes and describes the scenes completely immerses us in her world. It feels like a great fiction novel where I've lost myself in this story, and knowing that it’s her true story makes it all the more heart-breaking. When you read this book, you feel like you're an extra passenger in the backseat of the car on the road trip with Steph and her mom.
To me it feels like her writing is at the intersection of nonfiction and fiction. Where you know the story comes from reality, and on the other hand, the way that she writes and describes the scenes completely immerses us in her world. It feels like a great fiction novel where I've lost myself in this story, and knowing that it’s her true story makes it all the more heart-breaking. When you read this book, you feel like you're an extra passenger in the backseat of the car on the road trip with Steph and her mom.
April 8, 2022
Steph and her mother’s story is a gift to her readers. A guidepost for our own remembering.
I found myself paralleling my own relationships to family members, to Mother Nature. Steph is a gifted writer and a master of metaphor and I kept saying to myself … I have never thought of it that way before! It is also a story of intimacy and the depths of a relationship to self, to others, to nature. A must read for the times that we live in! A gorgeous time capsule for the natural wonders and healing powers of the American National Parks that are available to us all.
I found myself paralleling my own relationships to family members, to Mother Nature. Steph is a gifted writer and a master of metaphor and I kept saying to myself … I have never thought of it that way before! It is also a story of intimacy and the depths of a relationship to self, to others, to nature. A must read for the times that we live in! A gorgeous time capsule for the natural wonders and healing powers of the American National Parks that are available to us all.
December 18, 2022
There is no way to escape the heaviness of dementia and the way it so radically changes our relationships. This book did a good job of tackling that struggle while also pairing natural beauty and the gift that is time together, especially early on in the progression of the disease.
September 5, 2023
The epilogue is everything. I am so glad that I read this book
November 12, 2022
I'm not at all surprised to see that a lot of reviewers loved this book, and I don't want to dissuade anyone from reading it. Just not a fit for me.
Author takes her Mom, who had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's, on a camping trip through some beautiful settings and describes the scenes and her feelings about this tragic situation with great care.
But the writing is not to my taste. I don't read poetry or (much) fiction, and I think you'd probably need to be someone who does. So for instance, the author's way of saying that it's scary to consider the possibility of a genetic loading for dementia is:
"My grandmother had dementia.
My mother has Alzheimer's.
I am a sapling inside of a forest that seems hell-bent on forgetting.
As a young girl, I didn't see myself like them, and now, I don't want to be like them. I don't want to be planted in this soil, rooted in what seems to be scorched earth, burned in a fire of forgetfulness. But here I am, full of quaking fear that the phrase 'as above, so below' runs also in the opposite direction. That the groundwater running through my lineage is poisoning the bloodline--that it runs from our roots, all the way into our brains." (p. 35)
One or two passages like that as the grand finale reflection after a couple hundred pages of more prosaic narration is fine for me, but when it's that x 4 or 5 on every page, it becomes for me a slog even though the underlying events are of course extremely sad.
Author takes her Mom, who had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's, on a camping trip through some beautiful settings and describes the scenes and her feelings about this tragic situation with great care.
But the writing is not to my taste. I don't read poetry or (much) fiction, and I think you'd probably need to be someone who does. So for instance, the author's way of saying that it's scary to consider the possibility of a genetic loading for dementia is:
"My grandmother had dementia.
My mother has Alzheimer's.
I am a sapling inside of a forest that seems hell-bent on forgetting.
As a young girl, I didn't see myself like them, and now, I don't want to be like them. I don't want to be planted in this soil, rooted in what seems to be scorched earth, burned in a fire of forgetfulness. But here I am, full of quaking fear that the phrase 'as above, so below' runs also in the opposite direction. That the groundwater running through my lineage is poisoning the bloodline--that it runs from our roots, all the way into our brains." (p. 35)
One or two passages like that as the grand finale reflection after a couple hundred pages of more prosaic narration is fine for me, but when it's that x 4 or 5 on every page, it becomes for me a slog even though the underlying events are of course extremely sad.
June 7, 2023
Dit boek was een behoorlijke teleurstelling. Hoewel het verhaal veelbelovend klinkt, blijkt het boek een zweverig ik-verhaal te zijn wat grotendeels over de schrijfster zelf gaat, wat ze denkt, wat ze vindt (niet bepaald boeiend). Het veel te hoge emo-drama-gehalte en de talloze metaforen die bladzijde na bladzijde gebruikt worden maakt het tot een karikatuur en een slecht leesbaar verhaal. Prima om er af en toe eens een 'wijsheid' in te gooien maar nu is het echt zoeken naar de regels die wél interessant zijn: het verslag van hoe de reis verliep.
Jammer want het thema heeft absoluut potentieel maar is ver ondermaats uitgewerkt.
Jammer want het thema heeft absoluut potentieel maar is ver ondermaats uitgewerkt.
August 25, 2023
Waargebeurd verhaal van een dochter die haar aan Alzheimer lijdende moeder meeneemt op reis door drie Amerikaanse Staten en vele nationale parken om zo dichterbij de natuur te zijn en mooie herinneringen met haar moeder te maken, die zij alleen, door haar ziekte, niet meer opslaat. Ik kon me niet altijd in de schrijfstijl en beeldende gevoelens van de schrijfster herkennen, maar wel in de angst om je moeder zo langzaam te verliezen en het daarna alleen te moeten doen. Want wie ben je eigenlijk zonder moeder en wie is dan je steunpilaar?
February 7, 2023
A flowery description of a short trip the author took with her mother who is at the beginning stages of Alzheimer’s. This book left me wanting: it would have been nice to know more about the author’s childhood, the very basics of her family of origin, what her relationship with her mother was like before this trip, more information about her long lost brother, and much less words like “mycorrhizal” and minimal nature metaphors.
December 16, 2022
As a lover of nature and someone who has lost two grandmothers to dementia, this book really hit me hard but in the best way. I loved the message of finding our feminine wisdom and magic by forgetting ourselves and becoming one with Mother Nature.
“I had nothing more to learn and everything left to remember.”
“I had nothing more to learn and everything left to remember.”
August 7, 2023
An absolutely gorgeous memoir about motherhood, memory, self reflection, and the natural world. I wept.
November 16, 2024
4.5 ⭐️ Is there a greater thing in this world than love? Especially, a mother’s love? What a beautiful ode to Steph Jagger’s mother this story is.
On the surface, this book is about Alzheimer’s and how it affects a family—their spouse, their children, and themselves. It’s about a mother and a daughter spending 11 days camping when the mother doesn’t remember her daughter. But, “The story doesn’t lie in what’s gone, but in what remains […]. You have to let one thing turn into something else, you have to let it transform—that’s erosion. If you don’t, my love—it will just go. And that’s erasure.” The book is about so much more than what’s on the surface. It’s about self discovery and philosophy.
Steph Jagger is such a talented and beautiful writer I would reread certain passages. I’d finish a paragraph and I’d reread it, not because I didn’t understand it, but because her words are too profound to only read once. It takes time for the rain to fully seep into the soil. Just as it takes time for words to take root and bloom in our minds.
“Begging is what you do when you sense something scary is true. Praying is what you do when you’re driving through a river valley, trying to find a way to turn all that fear into some sort of surrender.”
Memoirs like this can be tricky to write, because—on the surface—the story is not necessarily exceptional to anyone but the author and when people try to dedicate deeper meaning to their individual stories, it can become too dense and unbearable. Jagger does a brilliant job at using a metaphorical writing style that’s part poetic to dictate her inner thoughts and emotions; to give imagery to things otherwise intangible. And although this worked largely in her favour, she does overdo it a little bit with the symbolism. It’s the bison, the bears, the rivers, the dam, the mountains, the sky and the stars, the charred forest remains, and so many other things. And it’s too much. She also asks a lot of questions (and I mean, literally, A LOT). Asking questions is now a writing style. Jagger puts a lot of thought and effort into finding these answers, when in reality, do the questions or the answers even matter? I feel I can relate to the way she often feels. For example, what confines have I grown up in? How did the way I was raised and the way my mother was raised affect the person I am today? What societal implications have molded my view of life? These questions are, to me, rhetorical. They’re interesting to ponder on occasion and they’re interesting to read about in doses. Jagger, however, frets over the meaning of many things and I feel like the book can come across as highly romantic over-thinking.
The book is very good, so don’t get me wrong, but I’m going to go back to living my life in the moment, pondering these philosophical questions sparingly, and not fretting about the small things.
“Will we still call it Glacier National Park when it no longer has any glaciers? Will I still call her my mother when she no longer knows she has daughters?”
On the surface, this book is about Alzheimer’s and how it affects a family—their spouse, their children, and themselves. It’s about a mother and a daughter spending 11 days camping when the mother doesn’t remember her daughter. But, “The story doesn’t lie in what’s gone, but in what remains […]. You have to let one thing turn into something else, you have to let it transform—that’s erosion. If you don’t, my love—it will just go. And that’s erasure.” The book is about so much more than what’s on the surface. It’s about self discovery and philosophy.
Steph Jagger is such a talented and beautiful writer I would reread certain passages. I’d finish a paragraph and I’d reread it, not because I didn’t understand it, but because her words are too profound to only read once. It takes time for the rain to fully seep into the soil. Just as it takes time for words to take root and bloom in our minds.
“Begging is what you do when you sense something scary is true. Praying is what you do when you’re driving through a river valley, trying to find a way to turn all that fear into some sort of surrender.”
Memoirs like this can be tricky to write, because—on the surface—the story is not necessarily exceptional to anyone but the author and when people try to dedicate deeper meaning to their individual stories, it can become too dense and unbearable. Jagger does a brilliant job at using a metaphorical writing style that’s part poetic to dictate her inner thoughts and emotions; to give imagery to things otherwise intangible. And although this worked largely in her favour, she does overdo it a little bit with the symbolism. It’s the bison, the bears, the rivers, the dam, the mountains, the sky and the stars, the charred forest remains, and so many other things. And it’s too much. She also asks a lot of questions (and I mean, literally, A LOT). Asking questions is now a writing style. Jagger puts a lot of thought and effort into finding these answers, when in reality, do the questions or the answers even matter? I feel I can relate to the way she often feels. For example, what confines have I grown up in? How did the way I was raised and the way my mother was raised affect the person I am today? What societal implications have molded my view of life? These questions are, to me, rhetorical. They’re interesting to ponder on occasion and they’re interesting to read about in doses. Jagger, however, frets over the meaning of many things and I feel like the book can come across as highly romantic over-thinking.
The book is very good, so don’t get me wrong, but I’m going to go back to living my life in the moment, pondering these philosophical questions sparingly, and not fretting about the small things.
“Will we still call it Glacier National Park when it no longer has any glaciers? Will I still call her my mother when she no longer knows she has daughters?”
June 18, 2022
A story of a mother and daughter trying to gain time, before Alzheimer's erases all good memories.
Steph decides that she needs to take her mother on a road trip where they can bond and have a valuable time together, her mother's memory is losing any sharpness, Sometimes she remembers things, sometimes she doesn't even remember who is seating next to her but Steph is determined to take this time with her mother and try to build even new memories for the future.
A trip that will test their patients and love, a vacation that can change everything for them and finally reunite them even if is by glimpses and small moments but I'm sure Steph was very thankful for those moments, hiking, camping trailing something that can bring you so much peace of mind but at the same time move past thing inside of you that will bring back memories and things that were very deeply buried.
This was a good book, I really enjoy that Steps had this amazing idea of taking her mom somewhere they could be together and rebuild their lives.
I cried, I laugh and I felt very connected with some of the emotions Steph was feeling. I stay with the message of being thankful for having a mother, no matter the circumstances there is always Love hiding somewhere in every story, you just have to feel it.
Thanks to NetGalley and Flatiron Books for the advanced copy of Everything Left to Remember: My Mother, Our Memories, and a Journey Through the Rocky Mountains in exchange for my honest review.
Steph decides that she needs to take her mother on a road trip where they can bond and have a valuable time together, her mother's memory is losing any sharpness, Sometimes she remembers things, sometimes she doesn't even remember who is seating next to her but Steph is determined to take this time with her mother and try to build even new memories for the future.
A trip that will test their patients and love, a vacation that can change everything for them and finally reunite them even if is by glimpses and small moments but I'm sure Steph was very thankful for those moments, hiking, camping trailing something that can bring you so much peace of mind but at the same time move past thing inside of you that will bring back memories and things that were very deeply buried.
This was a good book, I really enjoy that Steps had this amazing idea of taking her mom somewhere they could be together and rebuild their lives.
I cried, I laugh and I felt very connected with some of the emotions Steph was feeling. I stay with the message of being thankful for having a mother, no matter the circumstances there is always Love hiding somewhere in every story, you just have to feel it.
Thanks to NetGalley and Flatiron Books for the advanced copy of Everything Left to Remember: My Mother, Our Memories, and a Journey Through the Rocky Mountains in exchange for my honest review.
April 15, 2023
Steph Jagger tells the incredible story of her mother Shelia, who is battling Alzheimer’s disease. Steph takes her mother on a road trip to Montana, knowing that it would be their last adventure together. Slowly, Sheila was slipping away, only to become a shell of her self.
Steph wanted a wonderful memory that would last a lifetime for the both of them. Alzheimer’s disease is a cruel disease and Steph describes it just so as to the impact it has had on her mother and their family. Memories slowly slipping away of their family and friends. Names erased from their minds. Holidays and other special family, traditions and events erased like none of it ever existed. Seeing a loved one slowly fade away is one of the most heartbreaking situations to ever witness. Love is what keeps the bond within their hearts. This was no exception for Steph and Sheila.
Everything Left to Remember is a warm hearted and beautifully written yet at the same time it is also a heart wrenching story that will keep you wanting to read more.
Steph wanted a wonderful memory that would last a lifetime for the both of them. Alzheimer’s disease is a cruel disease and Steph describes it just so as to the impact it has had on her mother and their family. Memories slowly slipping away of their family and friends. Names erased from their minds. Holidays and other special family, traditions and events erased like none of it ever existed. Seeing a loved one slowly fade away is one of the most heartbreaking situations to ever witness. Love is what keeps the bond within their hearts. This was no exception for Steph and Sheila.
Everything Left to Remember is a warm hearted and beautifully written yet at the same time it is also a heart wrenching story that will keep you wanting to read more.
May 9, 2022
It’s Mother’s Day today, so I thought it was fitting to share my thoughts on a recent memoir that I enjoyed about a woman, her mother, and a road trip they took together through numerous national parks. Everything Left to Remember: My Mother, Our Memories, and a Journey Through the Rocky Mountains by Steph Jagger is a gorgeous tribute to the author’s mother, Sheila. Jagger most definitely has a way with words. I still can’t get over how beautiful her writing is. Her words are so tender, eloquent, and soothing. I felt a sense of peace while listening to this memoir. Prior to the trip, Sheila was diagnosed with dementia, so I was a bit surprised that the author took this journey on. It seemed like a huge responsibility that I honestly don’t think I could handle. I applaud her for taking her mother on a trip of a lifetime, full of hiking, sightseeing, horseback riding, and camping. Jagger also speaks a lot about nature, it’s vastness, it’s impact, and it’s beauty. I really appreciated her insight and observations while touring the parks. She describes viewing Old Faithful erupt at Yellowstone National Park, while swarms of people surround her. As soon as the eruption finishes, everyone immediately scurries out of there, anxious to view the next attraction. Box checked, as she says. People spend more time in the gift shops buying t-shirts and fridge magnets. This is so true, and I’ve seen it multiple times while visiting the parks in the summer months. Heck, I’m guilty of it too! It was a reminder and wake up call for me to stop, take my time, and really appreciate Mother Nature’s gifts. I really loved this quote:
“𝘐𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘦 𝘮𝘦 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘸𝘦 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘔𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘕𝘢𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦. 𝘓𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘸𝘦 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘷𝘦𝘴. 𝘓𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘸𝘦 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯’𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘺 𝘢𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘺, 𝘰𝘳 𝘣𝘪𝘨𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘢𝘴 𝘣𝘪𝘨𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴. 𝘞𝘦 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯’𝘵 𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘶𝘴.”
“𝘐𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘦 𝘮𝘦 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘸𝘦 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘔𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘕𝘢𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦. 𝘓𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘸𝘦 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘷𝘦𝘴. 𝘓𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘸𝘦 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯’𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘺 𝘢𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘺, 𝘰𝘳 𝘣𝘪𝘨𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘢𝘴 𝘣𝘪𝘨𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴. 𝘞𝘦 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯’𝘵 𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘶𝘴.”
December 6, 2023
What a surprising treat this was. I did not expect a book about a mother-daughter relationship, particularly coming to terms with a frayed mother relationship in the midst of losing her to Alzheimer’s, would land so deeply. I thought it might poke at things, but not bring the resolution it so beautifully does. Every word is thoughtfully, poetically composed, and not in a way that becomes irritating. By the end, I could FEEL Steph’s peace and surrender, and it taught me something too.
“I am the evolution of my mother. She is the backbone I am growing into. The two of us, along with hundreds who came before us, form a collective…”
We are our own, but we stand on the shoulders of those who come before us. No matter how complicated they might be… I know I will see the women in my family differently now because of this book!
“I am the evolution of my mother. She is the backbone I am growing into. The two of us, along with hundreds who came before us, form a collective…”
We are our own, but we stand on the shoulders of those who come before us. No matter how complicated they might be… I know I will see the women in my family differently now because of this book!
October 13, 2023
This book took me quite some time to get through because of the sadness that accompanied it at times. I put it down for long stretches of time. I’m still not quite sure how to feel about it, but I cried through the ending.
March 27, 2025
Such a touching beautiful story. The author’s memories of her mother set against the backdrop of the Rocky Mountains is touching. An authentic look at what it is like to navigate the world with someone with Alzheimer’s.
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