Drafted

by Rich Allan

Drafted is a coming of age comedy of 19 year-old Eli J. Jones, a lifeguard, disc jockey, and college student, who is illegally drafted into the U.S. Army the summer before his junior year, by Willie and the infamous draft board #13. Eli makes several attempts to avoid conscription, but still finds himself plucked out of his sheltered, carefree small town life and plunged into a disciplined military environment during the life-threatening era of Vietnam. Despite his mantra of “I’m not supposed to be here,” Eli quickly adapts, making many new friends, including the likable Harry Horowitz, Tex, Steve, the Professor, Sam and the lovely Nurse Sara (who teaches him some of mysteries of the Kama Sutra). They help Eli cope with the insane Battalion Commander (and Sara’s dad), Colonel Clark, as well as overcome his bully Drill Sergeant, Carl Worlinski, who on more than one occasion threatens, “Must kill Eli.” Eli’s adventures continue through advanced infantry training at Fort “Lost in the Woods,” Missouri, as well as infantry officer candidate school in Fort Benning, Georgia, where he meets up with “Mad Dog” Drummond, who’s sole purpose is to make the candidates as miserable as himself. Eli keeps his wits about him, while trying to survive everything from nude fire drills, a snake-charming stripper - Miss Tiger Tactics, Ranger training and brass pickers in the Georgia swamps, to being buried alive by Le Huu Duc in a Vietnamese P.O.W. camp simulation. Eli never quits trying to make things right, even when Colonel Clark has his orders changed and it sends him to war (with a quick stopover in Seattle and an all-night orgy with three United stewardesses). Deep in the jungles of Vietnam, with his platoon – the seven dwarfs - he discovers you must sometimes face your problems – and in doing so he beats death, saves his best friend Sam from drowning in the Perfume River, and ends up a hero. After receiving a bronze star and purple heart at a Bob Hope Christmas show, his very rich buddy, Tex, from basic training, comes through and gets local draft board thirteen busted. Faced with the choice of getting out or finishing his tour, Eli takes the responsible route and decides to stay. He picks a “safe” job as a disc jockey at Armed Forces Radio in Saigon - just prior to the 1968 Viet Cong Tet offensive. Once again Eli has to fight for his friends and his own life, but survives, and comes home a wiser young man, ready to deal with the challenges of a new romance, college and a bright future..

432 pages, Kindle Edition

First published August 1, 2004

About the author

Richard Jones has been a reader and a writer all his life, getting his first library card at eight years old. He is a published author - DRAFTED & IDENTITY CHECK, communications executive, actor, musician, singer, and songwriter. He is listed in Who’s Who in Entertainment and accredited by the Public Relations Society of America, holding an M.A. in Journalism and a B.A. in Communications from The Ohio State University. An Army veteran, he proudly served as a 1st Lieutenant during the Vietnam War era and a DC lobbyist. Jones resides in Los Angeles, California, with his wife, Diane, Sunset, the Conure, and Lily the Beagle.

Reviews

[Joshua Grant · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rich Allan’s half memoir, half made up comedy Drafted was a lot of fun! As college student Eli is drafted and sent off to Vietnam, he comes across numerous outrageous situations and memorable characters. This tongue in cheek spool is written very well and managed to put a smile on my face numerous times! All around a fun read great for any fans of MASH out there!

[Rich Allan · Rating 5 out of 5]

"DRAFTED," is a coming of age comedy of 19 year-old Eli J. Jones, a lifeguard, disc jockey, and college student, who is illegally drafted into the U.S. Army by Weird Willie and local draft board number thirteen. Eli makes several attempts to avoid conscription, but still finds himself plucked out of his sheltered, carefree small town life and plunged into a disciplined military environment during the life-threatening era of Vietnam.

Despite his mantra of "I'm not supposed to be here," Eli quickly adapts, making many new friends, including the cuddly Harry Horowitz, oil-rich Tex, hometown buddy Steve, the Professor, All-Amercan college running back Sam, and the lovely Army Nurse Sara. They help Eli cope with the insane Battalion Commander (and Sara's Dad), Colonel Clark, as well as overcome his bully Drill Sergeant "Must kill Eli" Worlinski.

Eli's adventures continue through advanced infantry training at Fort "Lost in the Woods," Missouri, as well as Infantry Officer Candidate School in Fort Benning, Georgia, where he meets up with "Mad Dog" Drummond, who's sole purpose in life is to make the candidates as miserable as himself. Eli keeps his wits about him, while trying to survive everything from nude fire drills, a snake-charming stripper - Miss Tiger Tactics, Ranger training, wandering brass pickers and allegators in a Georgia swamp, to being buried alive in a Vietnamese P.O.W. camp simulation.

Eli never quits trying to make things right, even when Colonel Clark has his orders changed and it sends him to war (with a quick stopover in Seattle to visit an old friend and her three roomates). Deep in the jungles of Vietnam, with his platoon - the seven dwarfs - he discovers you sometimes must face your problems - and in doing so he beats death, saves Sam from drowning in the Perfume River, and ends up a hero. After receiving a bronze star and purple heart at a Bob Hope Christmas show, his buddy Tex, from basic training, finally comes through and gets local draft board thirteen busted.

Now faced with the choice of getting out or finishing his tour, Eli decides to stay. He's assigned a "safe" job as a disc jockey at Armed Forces Radio in Saigon - just prior to the 1968 Viet Cong Tet offensive. Once again Eli has to fight for his life and the right to come home.

Veterans will enjoy the adventure as they relive the military insanity and the very real dangerous situations men have to face in both training and combat. Something in this book for the ladies as well, as we meet the lovely Army nurse Sara, and fellow lifeguard, Karen, who both fall in love with Eli and helps him out of several jams.

Readers of the book have said, "...Laugh out loud funny;" "...an easy read and a page turner...I couldn't put it down," "reads like a journal or a diary...made me feel like I was really there," "I can't wait to see the movie," "If you enjoyed the movie "Stripes" then you will love the humor of this book," "Reading this is like being 17 again and having to face the issue of being drafted into the Vietnam war. It's funny and insightful at the same time," and "...funnier than "Catch 22" or "Mash."

If you like to laugh and enjoy historical fiction, BUY THIS BOOK!