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My So-Called Family
A moving middle grade debut about foster care, self-advocacy, and realizing that a found family is a real family.
It’s the first week of middle school, and Ash (don’t call her “Ashley”) already has a class assignment: Make a family tree. But how can Ash make a family tree if she doesn’t have a family? Ever since she was four years old, Ash has been in foster care, living with one so-called family after another. Now she’s stuck with Gladys. And the only place Ash feels safe is in the branches of her favorite tree, drawing in her sketchbook, hidden from the view of Gladys’ son Jordan.
As Jordan becomes harder to hide from, and more dangerous to be around, Ash isn’t sure who she can trust. A new friend, an old friend, some teachers at school? Sometimes the hardest part of asking for help is knowing who to ask.
In My So-Called Family, Gia Gordon weaves a lyrical story about complicated family dynamics that’s perfect for fans of Fish in a Tree and Counting by 7s.
It’s the first week of middle school, and Ash (don’t call her “Ashley”) already has a class assignment: Make a family tree. But how can Ash make a family tree if she doesn’t have a family? Ever since she was four years old, Ash has been in foster care, living with one so-called family after another. Now she’s stuck with Gladys. And the only place Ash feels safe is in the branches of her favorite tree, drawing in her sketchbook, hidden from the view of Gladys’ son Jordan.
As Jordan becomes harder to hide from, and more dangerous to be around, Ash isn’t sure who she can trust. A new friend, an old friend, some teachers at school? Sometimes the hardest part of asking for help is knowing who to ask.
In My So-Called Family, Gia Gordon weaves a lyrical story about complicated family dynamics that’s perfect for fans of Fish in a Tree and Counting by 7s.
272 pages, Hardcover
First published November 12, 2024
3 people are currently reading
197 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 38 reviews
January 2, 2025
✰ 3.25 stars ✰
“It’s amazing how lonely it can feel in a house where you never get to be anything close to alone.”
I felt a lot for Ash. Her distrust and her anger felt so justified, as well as her fear and insecurities, too. Being a foster child in a scary home is the most heartbreaking and frightening feeling; mean-spirited Jordan did not make it easy to live there. Never feeling safe or secure in a place that should have been a home. 😢 The author did a really commendable job in bringing out the chilling & terrifying fear that compelled her to break a silence, despite how uncertain she was of the consequences that would follow, because of how the system has not been particularly kind to her. 💔
“When you look at something through a kaleidoscope, all you see is the chaos of it.”
The tie-in between the trees that Jordan was hell-bent on destroying and the ancestral family tree that she was struggling to make for her sixth grade project was a visceral and well-executed correlation. It touches upon how she feels that foster care is like a double edged sword. 🥺 That as easily as it is to feel happy and finally safe, that happiness and safety can just as easily be replaced and taken away - a heartbreaking nerve - 'almost-real families are like real families, only you don’t know if they’re forever or not.' The wishful longing that someone could simply choose her - just as she was. 🫂
It is here that she discovers the true meaning of found family. Gentry, her best friend who she loves like a brother, and Joss Cruz, who's so perfect she can't understand why she would even want to hang out with her, and the teachers who she tends to hold at arm's length. ❤️🩹❤️🩹 'I will never reveal my deepest secrets to you' - out of fear, as well as expectation that not everyone is motivated by good intention, give her the chance to see that it's not always fair to judge without knowing the real truth, or to judge by outward appearances - for our real layers are buried beneath all that we only see on the surface. 🫶🏻
“You can’t show someone what that kind of hurt looks like, because it lives inside you instead of on your skin.”
Perhaps my biggest gripe and what in turn affected my rating was the lack of closure and resolve to Jordan's case. I get the realism to it - that as it is told through Ash's eyes, she would be more eager to leave behind the haunting traces of a time that hurt and frightened her so keenly - rightfully so. 😟 'So why is it so hard to show people who we really are?' However, as a reader, it does leave you feeling slightly disjointed and unsettled that there was no action - no comeuppance taken against him. ☹️
It is fair to say that such scenarios exist and how often does one shed light on it; however, I would have liked to have known that Jordan got his due deserving, that Marcus could grow up in a safe environment with his mother Renee, that Gladys would be reprimanded for deceiving the foster care system. 😥 I did feel happy and relieved that Ash got the help and concern of those who cared - that her friends stood up and protected her - that she realized how important it was to her own well-being that even if she has a heart for survival, does not mean she has to survive in silence. I just wished we could have had some closure to the emotional and physical abuse Jordan relayed. Without it, my heart felt deeply unsatisfying... 😞
“It’s amazing how lonely it can feel in a house where you never get to be anything close to alone.”
I felt a lot for Ash. Her distrust and her anger felt so justified, as well as her fear and insecurities, too. Being a foster child in a scary home is the most heartbreaking and frightening feeling; mean-spirited Jordan did not make it easy to live there. Never feeling safe or secure in a place that should have been a home. 😢 The author did a really commendable job in bringing out the chilling & terrifying fear that compelled her to break a silence, despite how uncertain she was of the consequences that would follow, because of how the system has not been particularly kind to her. 💔
“When you look at something through a kaleidoscope, all you see is the chaos of it.”
The tie-in between the trees that Jordan was hell-bent on destroying and the ancestral family tree that she was struggling to make for her sixth grade project was a visceral and well-executed correlation. It touches upon how she feels that foster care is like a double edged sword. 🥺 That as easily as it is to feel happy and finally safe, that happiness and safety can just as easily be replaced and taken away - a heartbreaking nerve - 'almost-real families are like real families, only you don’t know if they’re forever or not.' The wishful longing that someone could simply choose her - just as she was. 🫂
It is here that she discovers the true meaning of found family. Gentry, her best friend who she loves like a brother, and Joss Cruz, who's so perfect she can't understand why she would even want to hang out with her, and the teachers who she tends to hold at arm's length. ❤️🩹❤️🩹 'I will never reveal my deepest secrets to you' - out of fear, as well as expectation that not everyone is motivated by good intention, give her the chance to see that it's not always fair to judge without knowing the real truth, or to judge by outward appearances - for our real layers are buried beneath all that we only see on the surface. 🫶🏻
“You can’t show someone what that kind of hurt looks like, because it lives inside you instead of on your skin.”
Perhaps my biggest gripe and what in turn affected my rating was the lack of closure and resolve to Jordan's case. I get the realism to it - that as it is told through Ash's eyes, she would be more eager to leave behind the haunting traces of a time that hurt and frightened her so keenly - rightfully so. 😟 'So why is it so hard to show people who we really are?' However, as a reader, it does leave you feeling slightly disjointed and unsettled that there was no action - no comeuppance taken against him. ☹️
It is fair to say that such scenarios exist and how often does one shed light on it; however, I would have liked to have known that Jordan got his due deserving, that Marcus could grow up in a safe environment with his mother Renee, that Gladys would be reprimanded for deceiving the foster care system. 😥 I did feel happy and relieved that Ash got the help and concern of those who cared - that her friends stood up and protected her - that she realized how important it was to her own well-being that even if she has a heart for survival, does not mean she has to survive in silence. I just wished we could have had some closure to the emotional and physical abuse Jordan relayed. Without it, my heart felt deeply unsatisfying... 😞
August 15, 2024
E ARC provided by Netgalley
Ash Dalton has been in foster care since her mother was arrested and jailed for methamphetamine production when Ash was four. She had a number of placements, including one she hoped was going to be permanent, but which fell through when the parents were expecting twins. She has lived with Gladys, and even moved to a different house so that Gladys' adult son Jordan, his infant son Marcus, and Marcus' mother Renee could live there as well. Renee works at a local grocery store and is kind to Ash, but Jordan is volatile, fighting with Renee, sometimes hitting her, and yelling at Ash. In school, Ash is treated badly by classmates, who don't support her "masculine" style of dress. Some classmates, like Matt and Wiz, Photoshop offensive pictures of her and spread them around to other students. Luckily, she does have a friend in the quirky Gentry, whose mother passed away, leaving his father struggling with making sure Gentry had clean clothes, which led him to dress in things like bowling and old tuxedo shirts. Ash also is treated well by Joss, and isn't quite sure how she feels about her, although Gentry thinks Ash has a crush on the girl. Some of the teachers are more supportive than others; Ms. Moua and Ms. Kim seem to care about Ash, and even the gym teacher is understanding when Ash is late because she doesn't want to change in front of other people. In Mr. Mann's class, there is a family tree assignment, and Ash doesn't know what to do about it. Things continue to worsen at home, with Jordan cutting down trees on the property and making her watch Marcus when she should be doing homework. On a couple of occasions, she goes to Gentry's house, and his father Sam is very understanding, but also lets her know that he will be talking to her case worker. When Jordan becomes angry after Ash stands up to him, Ash calls the police, worried that Jordan will hit Renee or Marcus. After that, Gladys tells her to spend the night at Gentry's to let Jordan cool down, and Ash knows that she has to get help with her situation. She lets both Ms. Kim and her gym teacher know, and finds help from Joss, who is dealing with the fact that her "friends" are homophobic and say mean things about the fact that she has two fathers. One of Joss' fathers was in foster care as a teen, and with several adults reporting Ash's situation to social services, she finally gets the help she needs.
Strengths: While there are a number of middle grade novels about tweens in foster care, they usually are depicted as having come from difficult situations, but having a much better experience when they arrive at their current placement. It's good to have a wide variety of experiences of foster care depicted, so that young readers don't see the experience as monolithic. Ash, who tries to wear very androgynous clothes, is not described as transgender, and again, this is a portrayal that I have not seen in books, although there have been a number of girls in my years of teaching who dress in more traditionally "masculine" ways. I loved that the teachers were keeping an eye on Ash, and that she had so many adults helping her out in the end. The friendship with Joss and Gentry were very sweet, and there was even some explanation of why some of the bullies were so particularly mean.
Weaknesses: It always seems odd to me that teachers wouldn't be aware of bullying; Ash is treated very badly pretty openly. Also, eating lunch in the library does not solve problems. The teachers at my school long ago gave up family tree projects, and best practice for assigning projects is to give students a choice, which is especially important in the case of a project like this.
What I really think: This is a good choice for readers who found Moranville's Forget-Me-Not Blue or Carter's Forever, or a Long, Long Time interesting. It also reminded me a bit of Toalsen's Something Maybe Magnificent in that the home environment was problematic.
Ash Dalton has been in foster care since her mother was arrested and jailed for methamphetamine production when Ash was four. She had a number of placements, including one she hoped was going to be permanent, but which fell through when the parents were expecting twins. She has lived with Gladys, and even moved to a different house so that Gladys' adult son Jordan, his infant son Marcus, and Marcus' mother Renee could live there as well. Renee works at a local grocery store and is kind to Ash, but Jordan is volatile, fighting with Renee, sometimes hitting her, and yelling at Ash. In school, Ash is treated badly by classmates, who don't support her "masculine" style of dress. Some classmates, like Matt and Wiz, Photoshop offensive pictures of her and spread them around to other students. Luckily, she does have a friend in the quirky Gentry, whose mother passed away, leaving his father struggling with making sure Gentry had clean clothes, which led him to dress in things like bowling and old tuxedo shirts. Ash also is treated well by Joss, and isn't quite sure how she feels about her, although Gentry thinks Ash has a crush on the girl. Some of the teachers are more supportive than others; Ms. Moua and Ms. Kim seem to care about Ash, and even the gym teacher is understanding when Ash is late because she doesn't want to change in front of other people. In Mr. Mann's class, there is a family tree assignment, and Ash doesn't know what to do about it. Things continue to worsen at home, with Jordan cutting down trees on the property and making her watch Marcus when she should be doing homework. On a couple of occasions, she goes to Gentry's house, and his father Sam is very understanding, but also lets her know that he will be talking to her case worker. When Jordan becomes angry after Ash stands up to him, Ash calls the police, worried that Jordan will hit Renee or Marcus. After that, Gladys tells her to spend the night at Gentry's to let Jordan cool down, and Ash knows that she has to get help with her situation. She lets both Ms. Kim and her gym teacher know, and finds help from Joss, who is dealing with the fact that her "friends" are homophobic and say mean things about the fact that she has two fathers. One of Joss' fathers was in foster care as a teen, and with several adults reporting Ash's situation to social services, she finally gets the help she needs.
Strengths: While there are a number of middle grade novels about tweens in foster care, they usually are depicted as having come from difficult situations, but having a much better experience when they arrive at their current placement. It's good to have a wide variety of experiences of foster care depicted, so that young readers don't see the experience as monolithic. Ash, who tries to wear very androgynous clothes, is not described as transgender, and again, this is a portrayal that I have not seen in books, although there have been a number of girls in my years of teaching who dress in more traditionally "masculine" ways. I loved that the teachers were keeping an eye on Ash, and that she had so many adults helping her out in the end. The friendship with Joss and Gentry were very sweet, and there was even some explanation of why some of the bullies were so particularly mean.
Weaknesses: It always seems odd to me that teachers wouldn't be aware of bullying; Ash is treated very badly pretty openly. Also, eating lunch in the library does not solve problems. The teachers at my school long ago gave up family tree projects, and best practice for assigning projects is to give students a choice, which is especially important in the case of a project like this.
What I really think: This is a good choice for readers who found Moranville's Forget-Me-Not Blue or Carter's Forever, or a Long, Long Time interesting. It also reminded me a bit of Toalsen's Something Maybe Magnificent in that the home environment was problematic.
August 2, 2025
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5. The cover of this book is so misleading; it is much heavier than it appears. Ash has been in foster care since she was four years old, and her latest family isn’t much of a family at all. Her foster mom’s son and his girlfriend and son live with them, and he calls the shots. He also isn’t supposed to be there, so whenever CPS is scheduled to check in, they clear out and the lies flow. But as time goes on and things get worse, Ash starts to find people at school she can trust, and begins to believe that she deserves better. This reminded me a lot of The Benefits of Being an Octopus, and I will be recommending this when school starts. Recommended for grades 6-8. #mglit #librarian #librariansofinstagram #middleschoollibrarian
November 27, 2024
I read this book in two settings. This is pretty unusual for me as I am a slow reader with dyslexia. In short, reading can be really difficult BUT sometimes a story and their characters will captivate me so completely that it feels like I'm not even reading. This book was one of those stories! I laughed and I cried. My heart ached with the loneliness, isolation, and challenging circumstances that Ash faces. But then my heart rejoiced when she finally found the people, she could trust who are in her corner. All children deserve a safe, loving home with adults they can trust who respect and love them. Gia Gordon doesn't sugarcoat Ash's experiences, but she also treats them with compassion, love and hope.
Thank you Netgalley and the publishers for an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review.
Thank you Netgalley and the publishers for an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review.
July 26, 2024
Read this as a member of a committee at my library.
Ash, the butch-ish, maybe trans or gay but regardless, very visibly gender nonconforming main character, has been struggling for a while in a series of foster homes that haven't ever worked out. Now living with an older woman and other adults, including the woman's volatile son who isn't supposed to live with them but does anyway because of housing precarity, Ash is struggling to keep up in school and gain acceptance from peers while needing to keep up a prickly, self-protective layer.
As I read, part of me thought "this is sort of Stone Butch Blues for eleven year olds"-- there's a lot of real, true-feeling bullying and abuse happening in this book which doesn't pull punches, and while Ash hasn't identified yet as gay, she is identified as such by her peers and cannot escape being recognized as someone Other. Nevertheless, she finds friends, and through friends and community, she is able to name that her life at the current foster family's house is unsustainable, and to describe what family might mean to her and what she deserves. It's a meaningful book because it is written for the world as it is, recognizing that police and social workers do not protect vulnerable kids and that schools do not notice or stop bullying, and it does not ask children to suffer in silence through things they should not have to. I love Ash. While I identified strongly with her as a trans man, she experiences what gender-nonconforming kids of various identities experience. Her loneliness, anger, and variable ability to communicate and make friends will be identifiable to many kids.
There's a lot of foster kid books this year-- this, along with Gooseberry by Robin Gow and Deer Run Home by Anne Clare LeZotte, are my favorites. Gooseberry depicts a trans child with autism in a supportive lesbian foster home who nonetheless struggles with the trauma and fallout of many years of being poorly cared for; it's a heartwarming, dog-story, trauma book where the character IS safe beginning to end but doesn't escape baggage or chaotic behavioral patterns. LeZotte's book, based on a true story, is about a Deaf girl who moves in with her interpreter because neither of her parents can speak ASL. Then there were a lot of more lazily written books, which I didn't like as much. There's a tendency in a lot of fiction to overtly demonize parents and foster parents who are negligent and/or abusive; in LeZotte's book, this is tempered somewhat by showing the simple incompetencies of the character's parents in understanding their Deaf daughter, but they do still come off as rank villains.
In this book, while there's a pretty abusive guy who poses a threat to the MC, the other adults in Ash's home who are the cause of her suffering are not malignant-- merely managing poorly the various stresses of being poor, to the immediate detriment of Ash and the baby who shares their home. The challenge of navigating American poverty isn't sniffed at-- though the novel primarily sympathizes with Ash's position as a vulnerable young person who has no chance of leaving this situation except by acts of difficult self-advocacy that, as Ash knows, might lead nowhere. Ash has no reason to trust that the adults around her will advocate for her. I appreciate that while the ending is hopeful and sort of best-case scenario, nothing is legally or on-paper wrapped up for Ash-- because honestly, who knows how the fight will go.
Ash, the butch-ish, maybe trans or gay but regardless, very visibly gender nonconforming main character, has been struggling for a while in a series of foster homes that haven't ever worked out. Now living with an older woman and other adults, including the woman's volatile son who isn't supposed to live with them but does anyway because of housing precarity, Ash is struggling to keep up in school and gain acceptance from peers while needing to keep up a prickly, self-protective layer.
As I read, part of me thought "this is sort of Stone Butch Blues for eleven year olds"-- there's a lot of real, true-feeling bullying and abuse happening in this book which doesn't pull punches, and while Ash hasn't identified yet as gay, she is identified as such by her peers and cannot escape being recognized as someone Other. Nevertheless, she finds friends, and through friends and community, she is able to name that her life at the current foster family's house is unsustainable, and to describe what family might mean to her and what she deserves. It's a meaningful book because it is written for the world as it is, recognizing that police and social workers do not protect vulnerable kids and that schools do not notice or stop bullying, and it does not ask children to suffer in silence through things they should not have to. I love Ash. While I identified strongly with her as a trans man, she experiences what gender-nonconforming kids of various identities experience. Her loneliness, anger, and variable ability to communicate and make friends will be identifiable to many kids.
There's a lot of foster kid books this year-- this, along with Gooseberry by Robin Gow and Deer Run Home by Anne Clare LeZotte, are my favorites. Gooseberry depicts a trans child with autism in a supportive lesbian foster home who nonetheless struggles with the trauma and fallout of many years of being poorly cared for; it's a heartwarming, dog-story, trauma book where the character IS safe beginning to end but doesn't escape baggage or chaotic behavioral patterns. LeZotte's book, based on a true story, is about a Deaf girl who moves in with her interpreter because neither of her parents can speak ASL. Then there were a lot of more lazily written books, which I didn't like as much. There's a tendency in a lot of fiction to overtly demonize parents and foster parents who are negligent and/or abusive; in LeZotte's book, this is tempered somewhat by showing the simple incompetencies of the character's parents in understanding their Deaf daughter, but they do still come off as rank villains.
In this book, while there's a pretty abusive guy who poses a threat to the MC, the other adults in Ash's home who are the cause of her suffering are not malignant-- merely managing poorly the various stresses of being poor, to the immediate detriment of Ash and the baby who shares their home. The challenge of navigating American poverty isn't sniffed at-- though the novel primarily sympathizes with Ash's position as a vulnerable young person who has no chance of leaving this situation except by acts of difficult self-advocacy that, as Ash knows, might lead nowhere. Ash has no reason to trust that the adults around her will advocate for her. I appreciate that while the ending is hopeful and sort of best-case scenario, nothing is legally or on-paper wrapped up for Ash-- because honestly, who knows how the fight will go.
December 8, 2024
Ashley "Ash" has almost lost count of how many foster homes she's been in since her mother went to prison for the second time. The only positive thing about her current placement is the presence of a wonderful tree she counts as her friend. Thankfully, she can always go sit in her tree when Gladys or her son Jordan are fighting.
Summer is over and starting middle school is not something Ash is looking forward to. She does know her friend Gentry is there for her, and she even likes going to his house to play video games. Everyone else pokes fun at her about her hair, clothes, and home-life. How can she hope to open up in classes that expect her to reveal personal things she would rather hide?
When Ash's social studies teacher assigns a family tree project, all Ash can think of is her lack of family. At the end of the project, everyone is expected to present to the entire class. Great! She will definitely fail when she doesn't have anything to present.
Life with Gladys gets more and more complicated as Jordan, his girlfriend, and their baby seem set to stay. Since Jordan isn't working, he spends his time chopping down trees around Gladys's house. Ash also witnesses him being abusive to his girlfriend and threatening to do the same to Ash. Ash knows she needs to seek help, but just who can she trust?
Author Gia Gordon explores the world of the middle grade novel with MY SO-CALLED FAMILY. Readers will be able to relate to a plot and characters that will hit true to life for many out there stuck in situations similar to Ash. Gordon shows that families aren't always made up of nicely organized branches.
Summer is over and starting middle school is not something Ash is looking forward to. She does know her friend Gentry is there for her, and she even likes going to his house to play video games. Everyone else pokes fun at her about her hair, clothes, and home-life. How can she hope to open up in classes that expect her to reveal personal things she would rather hide?
When Ash's social studies teacher assigns a family tree project, all Ash can think of is her lack of family. At the end of the project, everyone is expected to present to the entire class. Great! She will definitely fail when she doesn't have anything to present.
Life with Gladys gets more and more complicated as Jordan, his girlfriend, and their baby seem set to stay. Since Jordan isn't working, he spends his time chopping down trees around Gladys's house. Ash also witnesses him being abusive to his girlfriend and threatening to do the same to Ash. Ash knows she needs to seek help, but just who can she trust?
Author Gia Gordon explores the world of the middle grade novel with MY SO-CALLED FAMILY. Readers will be able to relate to a plot and characters that will hit true to life for many out there stuck in situations similar to Ash. Gordon shows that families aren't always made up of nicely organized branches.
May 9, 2025
A MG debut about foster care, self-advocacy and different ways families can be formed.
🌲
Ash--not Ashley--is struggling at her new school. She is bullied for wanting to go by Ash and having shorter hair, her foster home situation is less than ideal with Jordan, his girlfriend and their baby moving in with Jordan's mother and making Ash feel unsafe. Now Ash is given a family tree assignment that she has no idea how to complete. Her best friend, Gentry, her sketchbook and favorite tree are the only things that make her happy, but when popular and put-together Joss Cruz befriends Ash, she's doesn't trust that someone as cool as her would want Ash as a friend. But as Jordan gets worse at home, Ash doesn't know where to turn for help. Could the new people in her life be a safe place to turn?
🖌️
This was such a moving middle grade book. It's perfect for fans of The Benefits of Being an Octopus and One For the Murphys. I definitely felt for Ash's character throughout the entire novel, wanting her to find an adult she felt comfortable enough to confide in. I worry so many students have similar stories to Ash, but haven't found anyone they can go to for help. This is one of a million reasons I try to be that person on campus for as many kids as I can.
CW: drug use, bullying, arrest, homophobia, child abuse, domestic abuse, abandonment, incarceration, violence, addiction, panic attack (on page), classism
I would have liked a more wrapped up ending to see what happens with Ash.
🌲
Ash--not Ashley--is struggling at her new school. She is bullied for wanting to go by Ash and having shorter hair, her foster home situation is less than ideal with Jordan, his girlfriend and their baby moving in with Jordan's mother and making Ash feel unsafe. Now Ash is given a family tree assignment that she has no idea how to complete. Her best friend, Gentry, her sketchbook and favorite tree are the only things that make her happy, but when popular and put-together Joss Cruz befriends Ash, she's doesn't trust that someone as cool as her would want Ash as a friend. But as Jordan gets worse at home, Ash doesn't know where to turn for help. Could the new people in her life be a safe place to turn?
🖌️
This was such a moving middle grade book. It's perfect for fans of The Benefits of Being an Octopus and One For the Murphys. I definitely felt for Ash's character throughout the entire novel, wanting her to find an adult she felt comfortable enough to confide in. I worry so many students have similar stories to Ash, but haven't found anyone they can go to for help. This is one of a million reasons I try to be that person on campus for as many kids as I can.
CW: drug use, bullying, arrest, homophobia, child abuse, domestic abuse, abandonment, incarceration, violence, addiction, panic attack (on page), classism
I would have liked a more wrapped up ending to see what happens with Ash.
November 3, 2024
Ashley is starting her first week of middle school and wants everyone to call her Ash and accept her for who she is. Facing bullying for looking like a boy, Ash tries to stay under her classmates and teachers' radar by staying quiet, keeping to herself, and hiding in her hoodie. At home, her life doesn't look much better. In her current foster home in a long line of foster homes, she has to pretend her foster mom's son, girlfriend, and baby don't live there and pretend she doesn't hear the verbal and physical abuse that goes on behind closed doors. Used to being abandoned, Ash is afraid to trust her teachers, a new friend, and even an old friend. Who can she trust?
My So-Called Family was a powerful and poignant middle grade novel. It came as no surprise to me when reading the acknowledgements that the author had been a schoolteacher. It is clear she has worked with many young people who come from various walks of life and different family types. I am also a teacher working with low-income students, and could see my middle school students easily identifying with Ash and the other characters in this book. I love how Gia Gordon includes queer characters, characters from broken homes and abusive homes, bullying, trusted adults, and how school can seem through the eyes of the child. Very relatable and would be a great read for teachers and students alike.
*** I received this book as an ARC from NetGalley. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own. ***
My So-Called Family was a powerful and poignant middle grade novel. It came as no surprise to me when reading the acknowledgements that the author had been a schoolteacher. It is clear she has worked with many young people who come from various walks of life and different family types. I am also a teacher working with low-income students, and could see my middle school students easily identifying with Ash and the other characters in this book. I love how Gia Gordon includes queer characters, characters from broken homes and abusive homes, bullying, trusted adults, and how school can seem through the eyes of the child. Very relatable and would be a great read for teachers and students alike.
*** I received this book as an ARC from NetGalley. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own. ***
August 25, 2025
This book captured me with its beautiful cover and intriguing blurb, and it was a pleasure to read. Ash, a 12-year-old foster child, is scorned at school for her short hair and "boyish" appearance, and neglected in her foster home. Since her mother went to jail when Ash was four, she's been in several foster homes, but this one has gone from dissatisfying to frightening. Gladys, her foster mother, has let her son Jordan, his girlfriend, and their baby move into the house, and Jordan has a temper and a need to control others. Ash has one good friend, Gentry, and they've both noticed Joss, a pretty, mysterious new girl who at first seems to be part of the popular crowd. But as Jordan grows more dangerous, Ash is still afraid to confide in anyone. What could happen to her if she tells...or if she stays silent?
The characters and the tension made this book impossible to put down. I was dying to see Ash escape her foster home, but I was also interested in her interactions with Gentry and Joss, her sympathetic teachers, and her own amazing artistic talent. Being in a foster home is grueling enough, but Ash (formal name Ashley) is also different: withdrawn, androgynous, and likely gay, none of which is accepted in middle school. She's such a strong, brave character that you can't help but love her, as well as her two friends. A beautiful and riveting story.
The characters and the tension made this book impossible to put down. I was dying to see Ash escape her foster home, but I was also interested in her interactions with Gentry and Joss, her sympathetic teachers, and her own amazing artistic talent. Being in a foster home is grueling enough, but Ash (formal name Ashley) is also different: withdrawn, androgynous, and likely gay, none of which is accepted in middle school. She's such a strong, brave character that you can't help but love her, as well as her two friends. A beautiful and riveting story.
January 10, 2025
Ashley 'Ash' Dalton hasn't had an easy life, not since her mom got arrested when she was 4 and she has moved from one foster family to the next. Once, she thought she'd found a forever home, but they decided to move on and now she lives with Gladys, her volatile son, Jordan, his girlfriend, and their baby. Ash's only solace is her art and a tree in the backyard. Even school is a nightmare where she is bullied for being 'unfeminine' and a social strudies teacher assigns a big project to make a family tree - which she doesn't have. The book is a fast read, filled with abuse, druge abuse, homophobia, and bullying, but once Ash opens up to her best friends, male Gentry Noble, and latine cool girl Joss Cruz, and teachers she trusts, hope and acceptance meander into the story and take a deeper hold from the fear and feeling of being unwanted. Gia Gordon, having done her research into the foster care system, paints a picture of the positive and negative parts of the system. Ash is a nuanced, troubled character surrounded by intresting secondary characters.
January 18, 2025
This was an extremely good and yet extremely difficult book. it follows foster kid Ash as she tries to navigate a new year of middle school. She encounters, some frankly, intense, homophobic bullying that made me truly uncomfortable to read. And while it is authentic, and I think some readers will find it reassuring to see their own experiences on the page, the sheer ugliness of it really blurred the line between middle grade and young adult. To say nothing of the rest of the book’s subject matter — it gets fairly graphic with detailing spousal abuse, drug use, child neglect, threats of violence— all in extremely authentic ways that will certainly find the correct readers, but will probably upset others. Readers who need to see the hope beyond abuse will really enjoy this book.
June 19, 2025
I did not know what to expect from this book. I liked the cover and the title had me curious. I don’t want to give any spoilers, but I was almost yelling at the book for the main character to tell someone what her problem was and to seek help. I am so glad she finally did. I also like how the book teaches that every family is different and even teachers who assign an essay (like a family tree) need to be sensitive to what is out there. Especially when they have to present them aloud to classmates.
I like the uniqueness of the students presentations. Very cleaver.
This is a book that I am going to have some of my students read, since I work with ages 3-21, I can’t have them all read it, but this will be something great for inferences, comprehension and life skills teaching that I do.
I like the uniqueness of the students presentations. Very cleaver.
This is a book that I am going to have some of my students read, since I work with ages 3-21, I can’t have them all read it, but this will be something great for inferences, comprehension and life skills teaching that I do.
February 7, 2025
Touching book about learning to trust others with our most vulnerable secrets, as well as to not make assumptions about the lives of others. Set in Northern California, the novel provides an inside look at one kid's lived experience in foster care. It's fictional, but the author's note highlights that she made sure to connect with people involved in the foster care system and portray the experience as authentically as possible. She also shares that portions of the story come from her own lived experience, which was not always as safe as it should have been (though she wasn't in foster care).
May 21, 2025
Ash (not Ashley) is in foster care. She lives with Gladys, who was finished with foster care, and her son Jordan. And Jordan's girlfriend and baby. Jordan is not supposed to be there and he is not a nice guy. He threatens Ash, and has a violent temper. When Ash finally confides in an adult at school, she realizes there may be some people in her life she can trust including her friends Gentry and Joss. Together they might figure out a better plan for Ash, and maybe she can finally live in a family.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the advance copy in exchange for an honest review.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the advance copy in exchange for an honest review.
November 3, 2024
Thank you to NetGalley for the free ARC!
The author does a great job of developing Ash's character in a way that we really get to know her-- her experiences in different foster homes and her experiences being gender nonconforming. The author also skillfully weaves the story so that the information that we find out about Ash's experiences (as well as the experiences of other charcters) trickle out at different points throughout the book. In this way, it is like unpealing an onion while still keeping a good pace for the plot points throughout the book.
The author does a great job of developing Ash's character in a way that we really get to know her-- her experiences in different foster homes and her experiences being gender nonconforming. The author also skillfully weaves the story so that the information that we find out about Ash's experiences (as well as the experiences of other charcters) trickle out at different points throughout the book. In this way, it is like unpealing an onion while still keeping a good pace for the plot points throughout the book.
March 28, 2025
Short chapters make this an easier sell for reluctant readers.
As for the story itself: the grey area of abusive behavior that doesn't result in direct violence--and how that results in a failure of taking such abuse seriously--is a significant differencd from so many other foster or abusive situations where the caretaker is wholly monstrous. I think the ending wrapped things up too neatly and without explaining a lot of fallout, but this is a good Issues book that doesn't go as hard as "Fighting Words."
As for the story itself: the grey area of abusive behavior that doesn't result in direct violence--and how that results in a failure of taking such abuse seriously--is a significant differencd from so many other foster or abusive situations where the caretaker is wholly monstrous. I think the ending wrapped things up too neatly and without explaining a lot of fallout, but this is a good Issues book that doesn't go as hard as "Fighting Words."
May 26, 2025
Quick, bittersweet middle-grade novel about Ash who’s in a pretty bad foster home. It’s the beginning of school and she’s working out which teachers she can trust and who else at school has home lives they’d like to keep separate from their life at school.
I don’t know how anyone could rate this less than 5-stars. If it even so much as sort-of helps a kid in need or in a tough situation it’s done its job.
Films it made me think of: Aftersun, Short Term 12
I don’t know how anyone could rate this less than 5-stars. If it even so much as sort-of helps a kid in need or in a tough situation it’s done its job.
Films it made me think of: Aftersun, Short Term 12
December 21, 2024
I was not expecting this one. It is quite impactful. I didn't understand the cover image until finishing the book. I would recommend for an upper elementary or middle school reader. Because this is juvenile fiction, I knew there was going to be a "happier" ending, but it was still quite emotional.
May 5, 2025
This book was beautifully written. It seems like we are getting a second book? 🫣😀 we need a follow up on Ash's life. A few unanswered questions there. I cried a few times and I laughed a lot. I listened to the audiobook and I'm glad I gave this book a chance. I might get it again. Thank you for this book.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 28, 2025
“A tough book that doesn’t shy away from challenging families and scary nights, this debut novel allows Ash to grow not only in resilience but also her ability to rely on others once she allows her friends and teachers in." [Booklist]
December 20, 2025
This book was very emotional and reminds me of "How to make friends with the dark" by Kathleen GlasGlow. Ash was right about the sand, tennis balls, marbles and ping pong balls in the jar that makes up a persons mind and life.
September 8, 2024
I like that she found good friends. I don't like we don't get to see the comeuppance for the abuser and that his child's mother is still stuck in a terrible position.
Read
September 18, 2024
Trigger & Content Warnings
Foster care system experiences (protagonist)
Incarceration of a parent for drug offences recounted
Poverty
Foster care system experiences (protagonist)
Incarceration of a parent for drug offences recounted
Poverty
October 20, 2024
This is not one I could use at school. The characters felt older than middle schoolers to me.
E-Arc provided by Netgalley.
E-Arc provided by Netgalley.
December 14, 2024
A heart-warming story that really delved into real-life issues
January 13, 2025
I didn't dislike this, I just didn't find it that memorable. Some of the conflicts got ended too quickly and ended a bit pat. It feels like the writing style was just a bit bland.
March 4, 2025
Review forthcoming
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 13, 2025
Kids in foster care deserve to be loved and treated with respect. This book gives the reader a look at how it really is for a middle school girl in foster care.
May 10, 2025
3.5 stars
May 19, 2025
...told with compassion and empathy and kindness
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