Bloodbag : A Floridian Love Story

by Jayson Dawn

Love. Finding that special someone that really gets you.
Understands you.
Inside and out.
Some people just don’t have any luck when it comes to love.
Bloodbag is one of those people.
Being loved is all he wants. Being misunderstood is all he gets. Until...
Violent cartel gangs, strung-out junkies, parasitic infestations, and of course, love, drugs, chainsaws, and rock and roll.
An average Florida Fourth of July with his best pals becomes an all new kind of adventure after a single act of compassion leads to the release of a demonic blood-sucking monster with an unquenchable thirst...Join Bloodbag, a man who finds beauty in the strangest places, as he goes on a weekend getaway with his best pals Drake, the very straight and not at all closeted kleptomaniac, and Austin, the pyromaniac who loves Jesus almost as much as he loves his Ford Bronco as they go on a wild adventure in paradise. Just Boys being boys, things start to change when Bloodbag finds the kind of unmatched beauty he could only dream about.
But anything worth having is worth fighting for. A true treasure is earned not merely granted. When horrors of unimaginable depravity get in the way, sometimes acts of true love are the only things revolting enough to save the day.

But warned, things tend to get a bit wet when you head down south. This novel features situations of extreme violence and unmentionable situations of unparalleled vulgarity. If it starts to burn when you put the book down and back away slowly.

(trigger warning page visible in *read sample* or paperback version of book. It is recommended you take the content warnings seriously if you are new to the genre. Consent is sexy.)

Genres: Splatterpunk, Horror

298 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 28, 2023

Reviews

[Phrique · Rating 5 out of 5]

So today I learned that you can’t actually press charges against an author for writing scenes that make you dry heave. Apparently, “I chose to read it,” and “the author gave you every trigger warning possible,” and “please stop calling this law office sir.” Fine then, at least I can warn everyone else of the atrocities in the most vile 5 star book I have read to date. Move over Zola, 🧀 you have been dethroned. So we begin in Florida, making the story frightening already. Introduced to the unsavory world of “the typical Floridian” with a motley crew of degenerates. Bloodbag, our main character who just…makes me worry if humans were a mistake or not? We are then regrettably introduced to his miscreant friends/neighbors, Methhead Mary, and several members of the cartel who are “slightly perturbed” with some misplaced drugs. What ensues is a bloody breakneck action/stoner comedy where we see just how depraved and repulsive human be, oh but instead of weed, it’s bath salt spiked viagra. The “love” affair between Bloodbag & Methhead Mary had some touching moments…you know, if either of them had been coherent enough for any of it to have actually happened. It’s a bit of a *SPOILER* but Methhead Mary dies about halfway through this Floridian epic but…*sigh* she’s still “around” for all of the action.

Grab your trigger bingo cards kids, we are playing coverall. This was a surprisingly well written book, a debut no less, from Jayson Dawn. One who I am decreeing now, will be a new up & comer in the extreme horror/ Splatterpunk world. Bravo to him for popping my splatterporn cherry, this being the first one I’ve ever finished. Even though I propose a new genre called “slapstick splatter,” where it would fit in nicely. I laughed/talked to myself/screamed out loud “HE STILL HAS THE DRESS ON?!” & cursed the author more than a few times. In his preface he states he “wanted to write a book where an unknowing reader could open to almost any page and find at least one disturbing paragraph.” DING DING DING, we have a BINGO. I want everyone to read it as much as I want no one to read it, it’s the closest I will ever get to Florida & I really feel the need to bathe now.

I leave you with a 2 lists I compiled while reading this-

Words/phrases ruined by this book:
-Pendulous
-Deflated
-Nectar
-Chicken cutlet
-Gelatinous
-Gristle
-Cloaca

Things Jayson Dawn will have to answer to on his day of reckoning:
“Like a backpack”
“Gazpacho of necrosis”
“Overstimulated ferret”
“like stubborn eggs stuck to the bottom of an ungreased frying pan.”
“Methhead Mary’s only response came in the wet farts coming from her body being pulverized.”

[Eve Moss · Rating 4 out of 5]

Over the top ridiculously disgusting. Outrageous honestly but could easily become a staple for splatterpunk readers imo. This is something you recommend to people when they say they want to test their limits. If you liked the slob, maggot girl, dead inside all the over the top grotesque books try this one out.

[Xtina Reads · Rating 5 out of 5]

good luck getting through this book without wanting to barf and or take a bleach bath lol the author was kind enough to let me read this bad boy in advance and all I gotta say is it’s weird, wild, and absolutely disgusting. I recommend it 😜

[Jadyn Ward · Rating 5 out of 5]

First off, GROSS.
Second off, NASTY.
Third and final, AMAZING.
This is right up there with Zola and being the grossest thing to read and stay up with. This story was JAM packed with action, gore, violence, and the nastiest descriptions everrrr. It also had the perfect mix of humor and comedy while still making me gag mid sentence.
Cannot wait to read more of Jayson’s work!

[Mrsgmamma]

I made it to page 90 and just couldn’t go anymore. I’m pretty sad about that because I wanted to love it. I heard so much hype about this book, has tons of gore and is disgusting asf but I couldn’t get into it. Hopefully one day I will.

[Jessica Mays · Rating 5 out of 5]

My god this was a crazy one. So detailed in the gore and depravity, but also so damn funny I couldn't take my eyes off it. I even read it aloud to my husband who was like "ewww that's gross..." So thank you Jayson Dawson for this masterpiece...let's get this nut! 😎

[Chris · Rating 5 out of 5]

What in the actual f*ck did I just read and WHY did I like so damn much? I picked this up because a friend reviewed it and his review made me curious. Listen friends…I WAS NOT READY. I stopped reading at some points to wash my hands or take a shower or just giggle at the sheer absurdity. I don’t think I’ve ever been on a wild as a ride as this. This is very far from something your “average reader” will read. Take care of your mental health. Long live Bloodbag and F*ck Douglas 🤣

[River · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a wild ride

I read a lot of gory books, but this one really was more gross and gory than anything I’ve ever read. Fantastic job grossing me out, that’s so hard to do.

[Johnnie Lynn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Freakishly Fantastic! I♡BB!!!

This book, let me tell ya........I fucking loved it. It was the story I'd been craving. This author is a genius. I feel like we are kindred spirits, in a way, I didn't realize anyone could be as messed up as I was.......
Read at your own risk. Ye be warned. It's deliciously disgusting, gorgeously grotesque, freakishly fantastic, sinfully sick and my new favorite book. To the author- THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY TWISTED HEART.

[Rachel Shuler · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book makes The Slob feel like a freaking Colleen Hoover novel. I kind of don't want anyone to know I've read this but here we are lol.

I would have given this another star but the the last fight became tedious for me to read. Loved the chainsaws though. RIP Methhead Mary

[Jessie Raven · Rating 2 out of 5]

DNF got pretty bored of it. Gutted to say as it had so many good reviews! But it just became a chore to get through it. Not sure what exactly I didn’t like as I can handle everything this book had to offer. Must say it had some gross parts in it but just wasn’t for me

[Brittany Warren · Rating 5 out of 5]

What can I say about BB?! He’s so vile and gross but you can’t help but love him. All he wanted was to be loved and that’s what Methhead Mary gave him.

This was a wild trip and just screamed Florida man. Drug filled 4th of July with fireworks, swimming in mucky alligator water, the cartel, police and methheads.

Speaking of mucky water. I was reading the last half of this book while at my grandparents river house, in the woods. All I could think about while kayaking was the scene in the book with all the hooks in the water. So thanks for ruining what was supposed to be a relaxing kayak outing. 😂

The worst chapter for me was the one about how BB got his name! 🤮

10/10 recommend but please check the TWs or don’t!

[lolly Storm sparrow · Rating 5 out of 5]

Audibly gasped and did a horrified pearl clutch motion

Horrific, gross, violent, strange, did I mention gross. I loved it, the combination of storytelling and gore was awesome. Great read

[Brittany Sexton · Rating 5 out of 5]

I dont want to spoil anything but this book is so amazing it is ridiculous!
make sure you have a strong stomach but you wont be dispointed.

[Corrina Morse · Rating 5 out of 5]

HOLY BLOODBAGS!!!! THIS WAS ONE HELL OF A DEBUT NOVEL!!!! EXTREME AND SPLATTER LOVERS EVERYWHERE, REJOICE, THERE'S A NEW GUY IN TOWN AND HE AIN'T HOLDING NOTHING BACK! NOT ONE DAMNED THING! IT'S ALL HERE IN THIS BOOK, ALL OF IT, EVERYTHING, EVERY FLUID, GROSS ACT, ALL THE TRIGGERS, EVERY SINGLE ONE AND SOME YOU NEVER KNEW EXISTED, EVEN MY TRIGGERS WERE TRIGGERED AND I DIDNT THINK I HAD ANY!! JUST.. EVERYTHING NASTY!!!! IF YOU CAN THINK OF IT, ITS ALMOST GUARANTEED ITS IN HERE….AND YES THIS DESERVES ALL OF THESE CAPITAL LETTERS FOR I AM SHOUTING FROM THE ROOFTOPS THAT BLOODBAG BY JAYSON DAWN IS AN INCREDIBLY DISGUSTING AND BRILLIANT PIECE OF FUCKED UP FICTION AND THIS SICKO LOVED IT!! 🖤🤢🖤🤢🖤

Ok, so firstly, Jayson openly admits that he wrote this book for the shock, gore and WTF value….and man did he succeed in his extremely bloody vile mission!! 🤘😂🤘I don't think my stomach stopped churning the whole time I was reading this book, and don't even get me started on my facial expressions and the images that are now seared into my soul!! This book starts out rough and just keeps escalating right up until the very last word, and then some!!

Bloodbag, or BB, likes things a bit bloody and horrific, the more bloodied and more horrific the better. And he doesn't just like to watch it either, he likes to act it out in the most brutal, bizarre and disgusting ways…

He and his roommates Drake and Austin are off to celebrate the 4th of July with a whole lotta partying, pussy, and drugs. But first they gotta stop off and get those drugs, and that's where they meet Methhead Mary. A disgustingly hilarious character that ultimately wins over BBs heart. The pair quickly get close, real close, unsettlingly close…

Insanity and debauchery prevail for the entirety of this story, with some hilarious shenanigans thrown in amongst all the fuckedupness, and it was a fun, fucked up ride for sure! A bunch of lads celebrating Americas birthday with drink, drugs, fishing, fireworks….and a fuck ton of nastiness! All this while trying to evade some nasty ass drug lords whilst tripping balls makes for some extremely interesting scenarios. BB meets a new guy by the name of Douglas, a slimey, stubborn MF intent on making BBs life a pain in the bollocks, and BBs taste for drugs quickly turns into a taste for something more….meaty!

The story of how Bloodbag came to be, which is revealed in amongst everything else that's going on, is an interesting little tale for sure, he really has bags of character, and bloody stuff…. which turns into one mans wild descent into insanity and a whole host of unlucky acquaintances who end up along for this furiously fast, fluid filled headfuck of a trip!!

And Becky!!!! What a badass she turned out to be! 🤘

And what a beautifully carnage filled conclusion!! *chefs kiss* Bloodbag is fucking BRUTAL and beserk! Darkly disgusting and hilarious! Man, it made my dick hurt so bad, and I dont have one!! You'll be laugh-vomiting for weeks, and feeling sticky with every imaginable fluid that has dripped from these crusty, gore soaked pages….

It reminded me a lot of the John Dies at the End books by David Wong, but a whole lot weirder and a fuck ton sicker! Insane, debauched, vile and oh so nasty, I had an absolute ball! 😂 When this story starts out, I thought there was no way Jayson could possibly keep the momentum of horror and vileness throughout the whole 292 page story, but not only does he do just that, he ramps it up even more too, there isn't a single chapter, maybe even a single page, that won't make you cringe or want to vomit.

A ludicrously, lascivious, liquid filled and loathsome love story! Impressive stuff! Jayson is definitely one to watch!! 💚🤢💚

[Taylor Korn · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was.. this was something. This is definitely something you recommend to somebody who wants to test their limits. I'd like to think I'm not the type with a weak stomach. And most of the "staple" splatterpunk books i didn't think was really THAT bad.. this was THAT bad (in the best way). Sometimes I have a hard time envisioning what's going on and maybe disconnect from it a little bit, but I didn't have that problem here. I hate to use this term but it was pearl clutching at the end there, I had my hand over my mouth, not sure I was gonna pull through because of how absolutely depraved and fucked up it was 🤣 I had no choice but to stay engaged, I wanted to know what was gonna happen, there was a good story in there too.

Its worth a mention that I did enjoy the main characters friendship, it was enjoyable, and I'm not sure if I love or hate drake 🤣 bloodbag is a whole new breed of human though. Possibly an anti hero?? There was some revenge rage going on. Times where you weren't sure if he was gonna make it or not, times where you're like "well fuck it he did it to himself, what the fuck". And the humor!! The humor is worth a mention because there were parts that made me smile and laugh out loud. So this book gave me a whole range of emotions and that's exactly how a good book should be. There's a little of everything sprinkled in here. 10/10 not sure i can put myself through that again but Jayson did an amazing job. This should be a staple in the splatter community in my humble opinion 🤣

[Bex · Rating 5 out of 5]

Get ready for a journey into the heart of darkness with this gripping novel that explores the depths of human nature. With its vivid descriptions of debauchery and vice, this book is not for the faint of heart. But for those who dare to venture into these murky waters, the reward is a story that will leave you both shocked and satisfying. Jayson's deliberate choice of adjectives masterfully breathes life into the otherwise lifeless descriptions of depravity, forcing readers to imagine even the most disturbing details with crystal clarity.

Proving himself to be a gifted author with a natural aptitude for the style, Jayson's entrance into the realm of Splatterpunk is sure to leave readers eagerly anticipating what he will produce next.

[Kari · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book became an instant fav! Now I need Douglas plushies and Methhead Mary merch!!

[Alessandro Hand-glider-Hawthorn]

Okay, Mr Jayson-Dawn-man (a.k.a. man-who-needs-to-be-convinced-to-update-his-website), I'm writing a review on your debut novel Bloodbag : A Floridian Love Story, which I read some time ago, but that's not the point of the review, isn't it, Mr Jayson-Dawn-man?

Anyway, I had rather high hopes when I first started this book -- a humorous forward-introduction-thing, for Christ's sake -- and I was like, "This is going to be best book ever (with three exclamation marks)," which was further increased when I read the first chapter. This was going to be 5-star splatter fun, right? Sadly, though, as the book went on my rating started to drop: 5 to 4 to 3 and back to 5 during that fishhooks scene with the snuff guy to 3 to 2 to I'm-not-rating-this-book-anymore, so now we're here: a rating-less review, because I lost track of the story and characters and just let myself be swept away by the gore and gross-outs.

It got boring and repetitive, in my opinin.

further review to come

[Morgan Cash · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm going to be honest. I had passed over this book previously because the cover was so bright I was almost blinded.

Do not be like me and skip this one!!

It was foul, funny, and non-stop from the first page. I was worried that as the story progressed, there would be less....."variety" in the bodily fluids and what happened with/to them. WRONG. I was completely wrong. Jayson Dawn can't be human, he's more likely an amalgamation of everything sick and disgusting in the world, left sweltering in the hot sun and then crammed into a musty basement to ferment on it's own organic materials. I hope to see more work come out of whatever hole he's excreting it from. 5 stars.

[Sea Caummisar · Rating 4 out of 5]

Did I accidentally ingest some bath salts while reading this book? Maybe. Maybe not. Was it the over the top story, or my mindset? This story was all over the place. But every scene was either gross or violent, or most often gross and violent. The kind of stuff that extreme readers dig.
Fun fact: true story: When I moved to Florida, I was told to Google 'Florida Man' and my birthdate. I had no clue as to why. Turns out there are crazy news stories for every day of the year starting with "Florida Man'. and most of them are straight up crazy...

[Asia Guerrero · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was one of the most vile things I have ever read and I mean that in all the best ways! I am not exaggerating when I say that every single page kept me captivated and grossed out. I cringed (good cringe) the whole way through. It was disgusting and so wonderfully written! I honestly would give this a million puke bags out of 5 if I could! If absolutely deranged, nasty things are your bag, baby, then you definitely need to read Bloodbag! I look forward to anything else that Jayson writes in the future. (CHECK TRIGGER WARNINGS BEFORE READING.)

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

That was a wild ride! Bloodbag gave me Lennie vibes from Of Mice & Men oddly enough. I really liked the relationship between the 3 friends, you can relate to the banter between them on some level. Now this would have been a 5* read for me, however I really started to struggle in the middle. I feel like a hell of a lot was being said, without actually progressing anywhere. Thought I was going to give up at one point, but I am glad I persevered. If you want a gnarly book, with lots of description that'll make you say wtf every other page, then it's well worth picking up!

[Paige Ray · Rating 5 out of 5]

What the actual Fudgeballs guys?! This book was absolutely INSANE and I enjoyed every nasty bit of it! Hands down the most well-written disgusting story I’ve read yet. Shockingly, the thing that bothered me the most, was the maggots and idk what that says about me as a person, given the fact that maggots are hilariously tame compared to the other vile things mentioned in this monstrosity of a book. I can’t wait to read more from you in the future, Jayson! And please, don’t ever stop writing!!!

[Sarah Olah · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not recommended for anyone with a weak stomach! However the author did leave a big warning in the beginning of the book so I already had an idea of what I was getting into. This is my first splatter punk read, which was the best way to just rip the band aid off and dive head first onto gore, cringe worthy scenes and more maggots then the can of rice from ghost ship. I would recommend this book for anyone into the splatterpunk genre as it does have a storyline.

[Amanda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Here’s the thing. Don’t read this. Just leave it where it is. You might think “Playground? That’s for kids!” or “Woom?? More like Toom!” Maybe you read Matt Shaw as sweet bedtime stories. I literally just had a 7th grader throw up in my classroom, and you may think “bah! I’d drink it!” None of that will prepare you for this vileness. Just throw the book in the vomit-filled trashcan in my room and walk away. 5⭐️

[Mikayla Wesley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Disgusting and vile, I loved the concept of this book. I see direct inspiration from AB, and I have high hopes for what this author will create in the future.
My only criticism is that the story got a little monotonous about 75% of the way through, for me personally. I'm not complaining however, if you love extreme body horror and splatterpunk this book is for you!

[grnbaypakrgirl · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow

OMG this book was awesome! A wild story about a group of guys in Florida celebrating the 4th of July. It was extremely disgusting and some of it turned my stomach a little. I can handle pretty much anything gross so that is saying something lol. While sometimes nauseating, it was also darkly funny & sweet.

[Rachal Davis · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is full of trigger warnings, interesting concepts, characters and nonstop action, just when you think the worse has happened, buckle up kiddos because there is more. B.B. is my new spirit animal

[Stu Logan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Eye opening

Great read. Despite all the repulsive bodily fluids, and line crossing depravity, I really enjoyed it. Love to see Bloodbag again.