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Septynios didžiosios emocijos. Kaip jaustis gerai, kai ne viskas yra gerai
Mes visi patiriame varginančių emocijų, tačiau greito gyvenimo sūkuryje dažnai nežinome, kaip kalbėti apie tai, ką išgyvename. Ir juo labiau nežinome, kaip su tuo mums patiems susitvarkyti. Bestselerio „Septynios didžiosios emocijos" autorės Liz Fosslien ir Mollie West Duffy kviečia suprasti, kas iš tiesų vyksta mūsų galvose, kaip surasti gyvenime ramybę ir kaip pažvelgti į ateitį nauju kampu.
Knygoje L. Fosslien ir M. Duffy savo asmenines istorijas supina su moksliniais paaiškinimais ir originaliomis iliustracijomis. Kiekviename skyriuje autorės nagrinėja po vieną nemalonų jausmą – pavyzdžiui, pavydą, perdegimą ar nerimą – ir pateikia strategijų bei patarimų, kaip šias nemalonias emocijas suvaldyti.
Knygoje sužinosite:
• kaip nutraukti įkyrių negatyvių minčių zvimbimą galvoje;
• kaip atpažinti, kas slypi už jūsų pykčio, ir kaip tinkamai nukreipti šią emociją, kad ji jums pasitarnautų;
• kodėl mus gali kankinti perfekcionizmo siekis ir kaip tinkamai suvokti savo savivertę;
• kad būtina išmokti priimti visas emocijas, susitaikyti su patirtais sunkumais ir pažvelgti į ateitį nauju požiūriu.
„Septynios didžiosios emocijos" nėra eilinė savigalbos knyga. Tai sumanus, švelniai teisinga kryptimi vedantis vadovas, parašytas su didele empatija. Ši knyga padeda sunkiomis gyvenimo akimirkomis atrasti norą gyventi." – Danielis H. Pinkas, bestselerių autorius
„Sujungusios užuojautą su ypatingomis, sąmojo nestokojančiomis iliustracijomis, Liz ir Mollie perduoda žinią, kurią privalome išgirsti šiais neramiais laikais: blogai jaustis nėra blogai." – Calvinas Newportas, bestselerių autorius
„Rašydamos (ir piešdamos) su išskirtiniu įžvalgumu ir humoru, Liz ir Mollie dalijasi išmintimi ir užuojauta, kurių mums visiems reikia, kad galėtume įveikti sunkiausias emocijas." – Susan Cain, bestselerių autorė
„Per pastaruosius kelerius metus mes tapome ypatingai emocingi, tik ne visada žinome, kaip su tomis emocijomis tvarkytis. Ši knyga padės išmokti kontroliuoti emocijas, suprasti, kad šiame pasaulyje nesame vieniši. Liz ir Mollie atliko puikų darbą, išanalizavusios pačias painiausias emocijas." – Adamas Grantas, The New York Times bestselerio autorius ir TED tinklalaidės WorkLife vedėjas
„Septynios didžiosios emocijos" yra milžiniškas, iš širdies parašytas darbas. Pripildytas humoro, sunkiais gyvenimo etapais įgytų įžvalgų. Autorės siūlo konkrečius įrankius, padedančius išgyventi sunkias emocijas." – Lori Gottlieb, The New York Times bestselerio „Gal norėtum apie tai pasikalbėti" autorė ir tinklalaidės Brangus terapeutas vedėja
Knygoje L. Fosslien ir M. Duffy savo asmenines istorijas supina su moksliniais paaiškinimais ir originaliomis iliustracijomis. Kiekviename skyriuje autorės nagrinėja po vieną nemalonų jausmą – pavyzdžiui, pavydą, perdegimą ar nerimą – ir pateikia strategijų bei patarimų, kaip šias nemalonias emocijas suvaldyti.
Knygoje sužinosite:
• kaip nutraukti įkyrių negatyvių minčių zvimbimą galvoje;
• kaip atpažinti, kas slypi už jūsų pykčio, ir kaip tinkamai nukreipti šią emociją, kad ji jums pasitarnautų;
• kodėl mus gali kankinti perfekcionizmo siekis ir kaip tinkamai suvokti savo savivertę;
• kad būtina išmokti priimti visas emocijas, susitaikyti su patirtais sunkumais ir pažvelgti į ateitį nauju požiūriu.
„Septynios didžiosios emocijos" nėra eilinė savigalbos knyga. Tai sumanus, švelniai teisinga kryptimi vedantis vadovas, parašytas su didele empatija. Ši knyga padeda sunkiomis gyvenimo akimirkomis atrasti norą gyventi." – Danielis H. Pinkas, bestselerių autorius
„Sujungusios užuojautą su ypatingomis, sąmojo nestokojančiomis iliustracijomis, Liz ir Mollie perduoda žinią, kurią privalome išgirsti šiais neramiais laikais: blogai jaustis nėra blogai." – Calvinas Newportas, bestselerių autorius
„Rašydamos (ir piešdamos) su išskirtiniu įžvalgumu ir humoru, Liz ir Mollie dalijasi išmintimi ir užuojauta, kurių mums visiems reikia, kad galėtume įveikti sunkiausias emocijas." – Susan Cain, bestselerių autorė
„Per pastaruosius kelerius metus mes tapome ypatingai emocingi, tik ne visada žinome, kaip su tomis emocijomis tvarkytis. Ši knyga padės išmokti kontroliuoti emocijas, suprasti, kad šiame pasaulyje nesame vieniši. Liz ir Mollie atliko puikų darbą, išanalizavusios pačias painiausias emocijas." – Adamas Grantas, The New York Times bestselerio autorius ir TED tinklalaidės WorkLife vedėjas
„Septynios didžiosios emocijos" yra milžiniškas, iš širdies parašytas darbas. Pripildytas humoro, sunkiais gyvenimo etapais įgytų įžvalgų. Autorės siūlo konkrečius įrankius, padedančius išgyventi sunkias emocijas." – Lori Gottlieb, The New York Times bestselerio „Gal norėtum apie tai pasikalbėti" autorė ir tinklalaidės Brangus terapeutas vedėja
256 pages, Hardcover
Published January 1, 2023
599 people are currently reading
8051 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 293 reviews
April 30, 2022
I really liked this book. It does not labor points like many self help books and can shift the tone from wit to vulnerability with the natural pace of a conversation with a friend. In many ways the theme of this book is having patience and grace with yourself when you are experiencing Big Feelings and, in doing so, you can harness them to serve you. The chapters on anger, burnout, despair, and perfectionism stood out to me as highlights. I appreciate that Liz and Mollie take care in their handling of serious mental health issues and offer resources as well.
Overall, the subject matter, the tone, and the illustrations stood out and make this book an easy, enjoyable, and insightful read on some heavy subjects.
Overall, the subject matter, the tone, and the illustrations stood out and make this book an easy, enjoyable, and insightful read on some heavy subjects.
July 22, 2022
Going through the most painful moment of my adult life (pre-burnout), this book seemed to be custom-made for me. There were pages bringing me to tears and moments of profound sobbing and others making me laugh so hard I had to share the drawings with my husband or a close friend.
We are socially pressured to repress emotions since early days.
“Stop crying, get your shit together”.
“Well… welcome to adult life! No time for breaks here”.
“You should’ve known better”.
“Snap out of it, at least you didn’t go through …”.
One can’t simply feel their emotions naturally, process them in a timely manner, and move on. One has to repress them, look fine and hope for burnout to knock on someone else’s door (as a miracle!).
At age 28, I felt completely desperate. And that was the moment I felt guilt at the same time: why should I feel this way? I had a home, a loving husband and remarkable life partner, a small group of friends who’d stop everything they’re doing to meet me should I be in need, parents who shower me with support, a well-paying job, two adorable well behaved cats, comfortable clothes, access to all food types I wish. How the hell was I entitled to feel despair in this condition?
In the end, it’s never that simple and despair/burnout don’t happen just to people who have high visible problems. There’s way more that we don’t know about compared to the amount of things we do know.
For years, I learned to develop mastery around repressing negative emotions to keep performing with excellence at work, to help everyone around me when they were facing problems… all of this is great, except that it was happening at the expense of my mental health.
This book helped me understand several things, being the most significant:
- I’m not alone in this.
- It’s a process and it CAN get better.
- Small steps each day help rebuilding hope and happiness.
- It’s ok to feel what one feels, we shouldn’t need to apologize for feeling sad, disappointed, hurt, or frustrated.
- No one’s well-being is worthy of a toll on your mental health.
Going through this, the book was a good help.
I can only recommend it to EVERYONE, hoping they’d be more self aware and ok with feeling their big feelings
We are socially pressured to repress emotions since early days.
“Stop crying, get your shit together”.
“Well… welcome to adult life! No time for breaks here”.
“You should’ve known better”.
“Snap out of it, at least you didn’t go through …”.
One can’t simply feel their emotions naturally, process them in a timely manner, and move on. One has to repress them, look fine and hope for burnout to knock on someone else’s door (as a miracle!).
At age 28, I felt completely desperate. And that was the moment I felt guilt at the same time: why should I feel this way? I had a home, a loving husband and remarkable life partner, a small group of friends who’d stop everything they’re doing to meet me should I be in need, parents who shower me with support, a well-paying job, two adorable well behaved cats, comfortable clothes, access to all food types I wish. How the hell was I entitled to feel despair in this condition?
In the end, it’s never that simple and despair/burnout don’t happen just to people who have high visible problems. There’s way more that we don’t know about compared to the amount of things we do know.
For years, I learned to develop mastery around repressing negative emotions to keep performing with excellence at work, to help everyone around me when they were facing problems… all of this is great, except that it was happening at the expense of my mental health.
This book helped me understand several things, being the most significant:
- I’m not alone in this.
- It’s a process and it CAN get better.
- Small steps each day help rebuilding hope and happiness.
- It’s ok to feel what one feels, we shouldn’t need to apologize for feeling sad, disappointed, hurt, or frustrated.
- No one’s well-being is worthy of a toll on your mental health.
Going through this, the book was a good help.
I can only recommend it to EVERYONE, hoping they’d be more self aware and ok with feeling their big feelings
October 13, 2022
Na ljestvici najprodavanijih naslova publicistike, self-help literatura uvijek zauzima bar nekoliko, ako ne i više od polovice mjesta. Logično, jer ljudi uvijek traže odgovore na pitanja kako da se osjećaju i promijene svoje živote na bolje. Ja osobno rijetko posežem za self-help naslovima, uglavnom iz razloga jer ih je mnogo, baš mnogo, na istu foru - samo misli pozitivno i sve će se posložiti samo od sebe (aha, kako da ne) - i zato jer sam u vezi autora čiji je profesionalni naziv 'life-coach' ili nešto slično, najblaže rečeno, sumnjičava.
No, iz mora popularnih self-help naslova, povremeno ispliva i neki kojeg itekako vrijedi upecati - a ovo je jedan od njih.
Liz i Mollie nisu psihologinje po struci, ali ono što razlikuje njihovu knjigu od mnogih slične tematike je to što za svako istraživanje, teoriju i citat iznesen u ovoj knjizi postoji referenca na izvor. I same se noseći s teškim osjećajima o kojima pišu, autorice su ovdje podijelile svoja vrlo osobna iskustva, riječi i mišljenja stručnjaka te drugih ljudi sa sličnim iskustvima, iznoseći problematiku koju sa sobom nose teški osjećaji i dajući nam smjernice kako se s njima (lakše) nositi.
Neizvjesnost, uspoređivanje, ljutnja, izgaranje, perfekcionizam, beznađe i žaljenje sedam su vrsta teških osjećaja od kojih je svaki dobio svoje zasebno poglavlje. Za svaki od ovih osjećaja autorice prvo iznose uvriježene mitove, daju nam svoja i iskustva ljudi koja su prikupile istražujući za ovu knjigu, te prijedloge i korake kako prevladati svaki od teških osjećaja, kada nas obuzmu.
Važno je reći da ne postoji čarobna formula i set magičnih koraka nakon kojih ćete se odmah uspješno naučiti nositi s osjećajima poput beznađa, ljutnje i neizvjesnosti, ključ je u malim koracima - prvoj pomoći za trenutke u kojima, obuzeti nekima od ovih osjećaja, podlegnemo strahu i panici.
Dobar dio teških osjećaja opisanih u ovoj knjizi i sama sam iskusila, i s nekima od njih mi se i dalje jako teško nositi. Nisam postala stručnjak nakon čitanja, nikako, ali mogu reći da mi je ova knjiga pomogla da malo bolje razumijem što mi se događa i znam kako pokušati spriječiti da me napadaji panike tim izazvani skroz ne pojedu.
Ono što mi se također svidjelo je to što knjiga nije suhoparna i nije ju teško čitati. Upotpunjena simpatičnim (ali pametnim!) ilustracijama, ona je i ozbiljna i zabavna nekako u isti mah, poučna, ali i suosjećajna. Za razliku od mnogih knjiga u kojima nas autori pokušavaju na nešto navesti dijeleći osobna iskustva kako su to nešto postigli, za ovu knjigu i njene autorice cijelo sam vrijeme imala osjećaj kako zbilja znaju i razumiju to o čemu pričaju.
U današnjim vremenima potresa, krize, korone, rata, inflacije, i, općenito, totalne neizvjesnosti - odgovor na pitanje kako biti okej i kad ništa oko nas nije okej - zlata vrijedi. Mnogi će ga pokušati dati, rijetki će - po meni - u tome uspjeti, a Liz i Mollie spadaju u te rijetke. Od mene - preporuka!
No, iz mora popularnih self-help naslova, povremeno ispliva i neki kojeg itekako vrijedi upecati - a ovo je jedan od njih.
Liz i Mollie nisu psihologinje po struci, ali ono što razlikuje njihovu knjigu od mnogih slične tematike je to što za svako istraživanje, teoriju i citat iznesen u ovoj knjizi postoji referenca na izvor. I same se noseći s teškim osjećajima o kojima pišu, autorice su ovdje podijelile svoja vrlo osobna iskustva, riječi i mišljenja stručnjaka te drugih ljudi sa sličnim iskustvima, iznoseći problematiku koju sa sobom nose teški osjećaji i dajući nam smjernice kako se s njima (lakše) nositi.
Neizvjesnost, uspoređivanje, ljutnja, izgaranje, perfekcionizam, beznađe i žaljenje sedam su vrsta teških osjećaja od kojih je svaki dobio svoje zasebno poglavlje. Za svaki od ovih osjećaja autorice prvo iznose uvriježene mitove, daju nam svoja i iskustva ljudi koja su prikupile istražujući za ovu knjigu, te prijedloge i korake kako prevladati svaki od teških osjećaja, kada nas obuzmu.
Važno je reći da ne postoji čarobna formula i set magičnih koraka nakon kojih ćete se odmah uspješno naučiti nositi s osjećajima poput beznađa, ljutnje i neizvjesnosti, ključ je u malim koracima - prvoj pomoći za trenutke u kojima, obuzeti nekima od ovih osjećaja, podlegnemo strahu i panici.
Dobar dio teških osjećaja opisanih u ovoj knjizi i sama sam iskusila, i s nekima od njih mi se i dalje jako teško nositi. Nisam postala stručnjak nakon čitanja, nikako, ali mogu reći da mi je ova knjiga pomogla da malo bolje razumijem što mi se događa i znam kako pokušati spriječiti da me napadaji panike tim izazvani skroz ne pojedu.
Ono što mi se također svidjelo je to što knjiga nije suhoparna i nije ju teško čitati. Upotpunjena simpatičnim (ali pametnim!) ilustracijama, ona je i ozbiljna i zabavna nekako u isti mah, poučna, ali i suosjećajna. Za razliku od mnogih knjiga u kojima nas autori pokušavaju na nešto navesti dijeleći osobna iskustva kako su to nešto postigli, za ovu knjigu i njene autorice cijelo sam vrijeme imala osjećaj kako zbilja znaju i razumiju to o čemu pričaju.
U današnjim vremenima potresa, krize, korone, rata, inflacije, i, općenito, totalne neizvjesnosti - odgovor na pitanje kako biti okej i kad ništa oko nas nije okej - zlata vrijedi. Mnogi će ga pokušati dati, rijetki će - po meni - u tome uspjeti, a Liz i Mollie spadaju u te rijetke. Od mene - preporuka!
May 5, 2022
Pernah nggak merasa kesulitan mengartikulasikan luapan emosi?
Editor mereka sempat ragu untuk mempublikasikan buku ini. Katanya, "Siapa yang mau baca tulisan tentang emosi negatif manusia?" But then, the pandemic hit. Dua tahun terombang-ambing membuat manusia menyadari kalau emosi negatif adalah "alarm" hidup nggak sehat. Liz + Mollie semakin getol menyelesaikan tulisan & ilustrasinya agar Big Feelings bisa segera terbit.
Buku ini condong pada problem solving dari 7 luapan emosi yang terbagi dalam 7 bab. Dibuka dengan pengalaman hidup mereka, lalu membahas mitos tentang emosi itu, dan ditutup dengan langkah kongkrit sebagai mekanisme koping.
Tujuh emosi itu hal-hal yang pernah kita rasakan dan semakin menonjol ketika hidup dalam ketidakpastian bernama pandemi: rasa takut, rasa marah, burnout, hingga keputusasaan (despair).
Buatku yang sudah beberapa konsul ke psikolog, membaca Big Feelings nggak menawarkan hal baru. Apa yang ditulis Liz + Mollie kurang lebih seperti saran yang diberikan psikologku agar hidupku bisa lebih "steady" dan ayem. And then I realized, belum banyak orang yang merasa percaya diri untuk pergi ke psikolog (karena berbagai alasan). Big Feelings bisa menjadi bacaan awal untuk berkenalan dengan emosi nggak menyenangkan yang menggelayut.
Masih sama seperti buku yang sebelumnya, No Hard Feelings, buku ini juga dilengkapi dengan ilustrasi sederhana yang memudahkan kita membayangkan narasi penjelasan penulis. Bahasanya sangat jujur. Mereka mengakui bahwa sulit sekali "juggling" menjadi manusia dalam dunia kapitalis yang menuntut semua orang produktif.
Yang aku suka lagi, awal bab diberikan keterangan "trigger warning" apabila kasus yang disematkan mengandung tindakan bunuh diri/kekerasan. Jadi pembaca sudah bisa mengantisipasi bagaimana pengalaman baca nantinya.
Editor mereka sempat ragu untuk mempublikasikan buku ini. Katanya, "Siapa yang mau baca tulisan tentang emosi negatif manusia?" But then, the pandemic hit. Dua tahun terombang-ambing membuat manusia menyadari kalau emosi negatif adalah "alarm" hidup nggak sehat. Liz + Mollie semakin getol menyelesaikan tulisan & ilustrasinya agar Big Feelings bisa segera terbit.
Buku ini condong pada problem solving dari 7 luapan emosi yang terbagi dalam 7 bab. Dibuka dengan pengalaman hidup mereka, lalu membahas mitos tentang emosi itu, dan ditutup dengan langkah kongkrit sebagai mekanisme koping.
Tujuh emosi itu hal-hal yang pernah kita rasakan dan semakin menonjol ketika hidup dalam ketidakpastian bernama pandemi: rasa takut, rasa marah, burnout, hingga keputusasaan (despair).
Buatku yang sudah beberapa konsul ke psikolog, membaca Big Feelings nggak menawarkan hal baru. Apa yang ditulis Liz + Mollie kurang lebih seperti saran yang diberikan psikologku agar hidupku bisa lebih "steady" dan ayem. And then I realized, belum banyak orang yang merasa percaya diri untuk pergi ke psikolog (karena berbagai alasan). Big Feelings bisa menjadi bacaan awal untuk berkenalan dengan emosi nggak menyenangkan yang menggelayut.
Masih sama seperti buku yang sebelumnya, No Hard Feelings, buku ini juga dilengkapi dengan ilustrasi sederhana yang memudahkan kita membayangkan narasi penjelasan penulis. Bahasanya sangat jujur. Mereka mengakui bahwa sulit sekali "juggling" menjadi manusia dalam dunia kapitalis yang menuntut semua orang produktif.
Yang aku suka lagi, awal bab diberikan keterangan "trigger warning" apabila kasus yang disematkan mengandung tindakan bunuh diri/kekerasan. Jadi pembaca sudah bisa mengantisipasi bagaimana pengalaman baca nantinya.
August 1, 2022
Honestly, I didn't expect to find this nearly as helpful as I did. I found out about Liz and Mollie as well as this book in a newsletter I subscribe to, and I figured it couldn't hurt to add it to my holds list since I really liked the graphics I saw on their Instagram. Once it came in, I wasn't sure it was going to be anything well-researched, but further inspection quickly proved me wrong - so much so that I went and snagged their first book off the shelves before ever starting this one.
Big Feelings is the perfect kind of self-help book. Liz and Mollie's work comes with great graphics, thoughtful anecdotes, science-backed research, multi-background considerations, and tons of good resources. It tackles seven Big Feelings: Uncertainty, Comparison, Anger, Burnout, Perfectionism, Despair, and Regret. It's not a cure all book, but they do a fantastic job throughout reminding readers that big feelings are normal and okay and, more importantly, they won't last forever. They also show us that they aren't always bad because exploring these feelings can provide us ways out of them and towards something new.
My favorite chapters were Uncertainty, Burnout, and Regret, but I could very easily see myself finding this book again if I'm going through a big feeling and need to know where else to turn. I really enjoyed this and I look forward to reading their previous title and continuing to follow their content online!
Big Feelings is the perfect kind of self-help book. Liz and Mollie's work comes with great graphics, thoughtful anecdotes, science-backed research, multi-background considerations, and tons of good resources. It tackles seven Big Feelings: Uncertainty, Comparison, Anger, Burnout, Perfectionism, Despair, and Regret. It's not a cure all book, but they do a fantastic job throughout reminding readers that big feelings are normal and okay and, more importantly, they won't last forever. They also show us that they aren't always bad because exploring these feelings can provide us ways out of them and towards something new.
My favorite chapters were Uncertainty, Burnout, and Regret, but I could very easily see myself finding this book again if I'm going through a big feeling and need to know where else to turn. I really enjoyed this and I look forward to reading their previous title and continuing to follow their content online!
June 11, 2022
Super easy read with decent tips on how to deal with:
-regret
-perfectionism
-uncertainty
-comparison
-despair
-burnout
-anger
All feelings much more prevalent in a 2022 world
-regret
-perfectionism
-uncertainty
-comparison
-despair
-burnout
-anger
All feelings much more prevalent in a 2022 world
November 10, 2023
Patiko mažiau negu Emocijos: kaip jos lemia mūsų sėkmes ir nesėkmes ir tikriausiai dėl itin didelių lūkesčių, kuriuos turėjau. Nes bandydama žiūrėti objektyviai (t.y., be savo lūkesčių) manau, kad knyga gali padėti normalizuoti daugumą būsenų, kurias šiuolaikiniame pasaulyje linkstame laikyti nebenormaliomis (pvz., nuovargį ar nerimą), panaikinti vieną kitą su jomis susijusį mitą ir paskatinti ieškoti tolimesnės pagalbos.
March 12, 2023
This is a book to read when you are not ok. I bought this book because it was a) on offer for kindle and b) written by authors I like on instagram. It’s got chapters on anger, burnout, and comparison amongst others which I liked. However since I’m pretty good right now I don’t feel like there’s much I’ll retain but when I am feeling less ok I am sure I will revisit this one.
April 28, 2022
Big Feelings is a beautiful and vulnerable book, and a must-read for every human. The illustrations are delightful and poignant and make an already gorgeous book that much better. Highly recommend.
September 14, 2022
There are some pretty good nuggets of information tucked away in here, as well as some great questions to ask yourself and sit with for a bit.
June 23, 2024
The book is a rock when you're a storm of emotions.
It has some nice illustrations, analogies and clever puns, but the most valuable thing in my opinion was the knowledge that there are so many people out there who face similar challenges as you.
It has some nice illustrations, analogies and clever puns, but the most valuable thing in my opinion was the knowledge that there are so many people out there who face similar challenges as you.
September 6, 2024
It became obvious very quickly that I was not the intended target audience for this book. The target audience is middle-class, white, professional women.
To be fair, there are some nuggets of good advice in the book. But the vast majority of the vignettes and examples they use to discuss these big emotions were so shallow and hollow that I often found myself rolling my eyes. For example, one of their main examples for the "big feeling" of regret was that one of them did not purchase a piece of used furniture when it was available.
I also found myself wondering often what their qualifications to write such a book were. Regardless of some of the good advice, there are many examples of their advice being contradictory to current research findings. This is a feel -good, pop psychology self-help book.
To be fair, there are some nuggets of good advice in the book. But the vast majority of the vignettes and examples they use to discuss these big emotions were so shallow and hollow that I often found myself rolling my eyes. For example, one of their main examples for the "big feeling" of regret was that one of them did not purchase a piece of used furniture when it was available.
I also found myself wondering often what their qualifications to write such a book were. Regardless of some of the good advice, there are many examples of their advice being contradictory to current research findings. This is a feel -good, pop psychology self-help book.
August 22, 2022
Another wonderful, helpful read from these two. Can’t recommend it enough.
March 2, 2025
ว่าด้วยการรับมือกับอารมณ์ที่แสนจะรับมือยาก เข้ากับยุคสมัยปัจจุบัน gen y, gen z ที่สุดดด
อารมณ์เจ็ดอย่างที่ผู้เขียนกล่าวถึงคือเจอมาหมดแล้วจ้าาา และคิดว่าใคร ๆ ก็ต้องเคยเจอกับอารมณ์ที่แสนเซ็งเป็ดเหล่านี้ ได้แก่ ความไม่แน่นอน, การเปรียบเทียบ, ความโกรธ, ภาวะหมดไฟ, การติดความสมบูรณ์แบบ, ความท้อแท้สิ้นหวัง, เสียใจภายหลัง
ชอบที่ผู้เขียนยอมรับชัดเจนว่าโครงสร้างสังคมมีส่วนมากกับอารมณ์ต่าง ๆ เหล่านี้ แต่ตอนนี้ที่เรายังไม่สามารถเปลี่ยนโครงสร้างได้ เราก็ต้องปรับตัวเองให้รอดไปก่อนเนอะ 😭😭
อันดับแรกต้องยอมรับก่อนว่าเรามีความรู้สึกนี้จริง อย่าเพิ่งหลีกเลี่ยงมัน ซึ่งโดยปกติเราจะรีบมองข้ามเพราะไม่อยากจมดิ่งกับความรู้สึกไม่ดี
แต่จริง ๆ แล้ว การได้มานั่งพิจารณาอารมณ์ดูอย่างละเอียดก็จะทำให้เรารู้ต้นตอปัญหาของอารมณ์นั้น
ในหนังสือก็จะมีแบบฝึกหัดให้ประเมิน แนะนำวิธีรับมือ ถ้าไม่ไหวจริง ๆ อย่ากลัวที่จะขอความช่วยเหลือจากคนอื่นไม่ว่าจะเป็นคนรอบตัวหรือนักจิตบำบัด
ความทุกข์มันเบาลงเมื่อได้แบ่งปันกับใครซักคน แต่ต้องเลือกให้ถูกคนด้วยนะ ไม่งั้นอาจจะทุกข์หนักกว่าเดิม 🤪🤪
อารมณ์เจ็ดอย่างที่ผู้เขียนกล่าวถึงคือเจอมาหมดแล้วจ้าาา และคิดว่าใคร ๆ ก็ต้องเคยเจอกับอารมณ์ที่แสนเซ็งเป็ดเหล่านี้ ได้แก่ ความไม่แน่นอน, การเปรียบเทียบ, ความโกรธ, ภาวะหมดไฟ, การติดความสมบูรณ์แบบ, ความท้อแท้สิ้นหวัง, เสียใจภายหลัง
ชอบที่ผู้เขียนยอมรับชัดเจนว่าโครงสร้างสังคมมีส่วนมากกับอารมณ์ต่าง ๆ เหล่านี้ แต่ตอนนี้ที่เรายังไม่สามารถเปลี่ยนโครงสร้างได้ เราก็ต้องปรับตัวเองให้รอดไปก่อนเนอะ 😭😭
อันดับแรกต้องยอมรับก่อนว่าเรามีความรู้สึกนี้จริง อย่าเพิ่งหลีกเลี่ยงมัน ซึ่งโดยปกติเราจะรีบมองข้ามเพราะไม่อยากจมดิ่งกับความรู้สึกไม่ดี
แต่จริง ๆ แล้ว การได้มานั่งพิจารณาอารมณ์ดูอย่างละเอียดก็จะทำให้เรารู้ต้นตอปัญหาของอารมณ์นั้น
ในหนังสือก็จะมีแบบฝึกหัดให้ประเมิน แนะนำวิธีรับมือ ถ้าไม่ไหวจริง ๆ อย่ากลัวที่จะขอความช่วยเหลือจากคนอื่นไม่ว่าจะเป็นคนรอบตัวหรือนักจิตบำบัด
ความทุกข์มันเบาลงเมื่อได้แบ่งปันกับใครซักคน แต่ต้องเลือกให้ถูกคนด้วยนะ ไม่งั้นอาจจะทุกข์หนักกว่าเดิม 🤪🤪
March 29, 2024
This book explores the big feelings of: Uncertainty, comparison, anger, burnout, perfectionism, despair, and regret. It's an interesting mix of topics, I'd personally say. While the chapters about comparison, burnout, and perfectionism felt like a self-development / productivity book, the last two chapters about despair and regret felt very self-help-ish.
However, in general, I found this book insightful. Each chapter has a pretty brief and straightforward explanation about what (and what's not), why, and how to navigate the feeling, combined with personal real-life stories. It covers the surface really well, especially if you're reading this out of curiosity (not because you're seeking specific self-help or guidance). The illustrations are also smart and on point (love 'em!)
It also includes a self-assessment section and helpful resources (which I guess are not very helpful for readers outside the US).
However, in general, I found this book insightful. Each chapter has a pretty brief and straightforward explanation about what (and what's not), why, and how to navigate the feeling, combined with personal real-life stories. It covers the surface really well, especially if you're reading this out of curiosity (not because you're seeking specific self-help or guidance). The illustrations are also smart and on point (love 'em!)
It also includes a self-assessment section and helpful resources (which I guess are not very helpful for readers outside the US).
November 11, 2022
Meh, I did not feel that I could connect with this book and it felt overly simplistic. They spend a lot of time explaining feelings and come off as women of privilege (a la oh woe is me, I got sick but I have such an amazing partner who nursed me through). Maybe that's my "malice envy" coming through ;). I did appreciate that they highlight that acting out anger may actually magnify those feelings and there were a few things I can try. But mostly, I found their vignettes and strategies rather hollow.
June 12, 2022
Great book! Every chapter made sense!!!! Take the time to read it
July 31, 2022
Highly recommend even if you don’t think you are going through big feelings you probably have a friend, loved one, coworker, employee going through these big feelings. I may have even cried while reading it some of it hits so close to home.
February 28, 2023
This might look like a children’s book but it’s not. It’s the best book on feelings & mental health I have listened to. Quick chapters and important info. A must read.
December 9, 2024
As someone who is prone to overthinking everything - the book triggered a lot of emotions that I didn’t even know I had. Loved the way how carefully each feeling is explained - stories are shared and actions are recommended.
January 4, 2025
It was nice but maybe a little too nice? I felt like some parts were a bit exaggerated in their efforts to not cause any sort of emotional discomfort or be as neutral as possible to the point that for me it took away from the humanity of it all. But on the whole it has good insight and good advice and I do recommend it for anyone who is struggling mentally but feels like talking to a professional is too big of a step to make at once.
June 30, 2023
Probably the most helpful of the (admittedly few) “self help books” I’ve read. Some chapters resonated more than others but that probably varies by person. Definitely a book I’ll refer back to when a big feeling inevitably hits again. Overall a concise guide which reassures that “even when things are not okay, you can still be okay”.
August 14, 2022
This was really great; it would've been a solid four-star-read but the illustrations, interview excerpts and the added resources at the back made it five stars. The writing is very easy to read, but the topics are tough. It was very hard for me to read the despair and grief sections, tw/cw: depression, burnout, chronic pain, suicidal thoughts, death. I marked a lot of parts and I'm going to work through the tips, thoughts and insights that helped me and write them down in my journal. I would definitely recommend!
June 9, 2022
Borrowed this on a whim because the title was sadly very much on the mark. Lots of big feelings on lots of small and little things and it's okay to admit when we're not okay. The authors takes us through big feelings, what they are, how to deal with them, how to sit with them, etc. Using illustrations and text, both the authors and the readers work through what to do when things are not okay.
It might seem "obvious" what kinds of feelings might be covered, but the authors take us through several that might not be so obvious, including perfectionism and regret. Stuff like anger and despair are perhaps not surprising to see but it was good to see the book also cover other emotions that also end to the feeling of not being okay, either.
That said, this isn't for everyone. It felt occasionally a little too personal anecdote-y with experiences and feelings I couldn't really share and so this might be geared towards an audience that isn't relatable to everyone who picks up this book.
There's not much to say than that. Some people will like this, others won't care for how the book approaches the feelings but I'm sure there's an audience that could use a book like this. Would probably recommend this as a library borrow, but for some I'll bet will be a nice purchase to read on your own time.
Library borrow for me.
It might seem "obvious" what kinds of feelings might be covered, but the authors take us through several that might not be so obvious, including perfectionism and regret. Stuff like anger and despair are perhaps not surprising to see but it was good to see the book also cover other emotions that also end to the feeling of not being okay, either.
That said, this isn't for everyone. It felt occasionally a little too personal anecdote-y with experiences and feelings I couldn't really share and so this might be geared towards an audience that isn't relatable to everyone who picks up this book.
There's not much to say than that. Some people will like this, others won't care for how the book approaches the feelings but I'm sure there's an audience that could use a book like this. Would probably recommend this as a library borrow, but for some I'll bet will be a nice purchase to read on your own time.
Library borrow for me.
July 8, 2022
As someone who is '90% feelings and 10% gelato', I cannot recommend this book enough.😄 Unfortunately, we live in a world where displaying 'feelings' is seen as a sign of weakness and incompetence. Which essentially means nobody ever talks about them (its not 'fun'), let alone help you understand how to deal with them. Fosslien and Duffy talk about seven big feelings: Uncertainty, Comparison, Anger, Burnout, Perfectionism, Despair, and Regret. I absolutely LOVE how they add anecdotes from their personal lives and from the lives of many others. For the first time in a really long time, I didn't feel I was the only 'weirdo' to feel the way I do. And part of being ok with them is to figure out how to live with them. Its not your typical self-help book (I find it very difficult to read those) but very close to Gottlieb's style of writing. (That's another wonderful book if you haven't read it already - 'Maybe you should talk to someone')
While there were several little bits in the book that I absolutely loved, this one is my favorite:
"If you’re struggling, you’re struggling. There is no grand judge who gets to decide whether or not you “deserve” to feel despair. Yes, there are almost certainly other people in the world who objectively have it much, much worse than you do. You can still be suffering, and your feelings are still valid and important."
While there were several little bits in the book that I absolutely loved, this one is my favorite:
"If you’re struggling, you’re struggling. There is no grand judge who gets to decide whether or not you “deserve” to feel despair. Yes, there are almost certainly other people in the world who objectively have it much, much worse than you do. You can still be suffering, and your feelings are still valid and important."
October 30, 2023
Me while reading: Meh, this is fine.
Me when while reading the chapter on perfectionism: OH.
Me when while reading the chapter on perfectionism: OH.
May 6, 2022
Funny, approachable & chock full of great advice
May 8, 2022
Such a fantastic dive and sharing of stories about BIG emotions. It delivers beautiful and comedic elements that connect to useful strategies that are diverse and not overwhelming.
April 29, 2022
Big Feelings : How to Be Okay When Things Are Not Okay
"المشاعر الكبيرة: كيف تكون بخير عندما لا تكون الأمور على ما يرام"
تم وصف هذا الكتاب بأنه أداة تعين على استعادة الإحساس بالسيطرة على المشاعر السلبية - والتقليل من شعور الإنسان بالهزيمة وبالوحدة في العالم.
يتناول كل فصل من فصول هذا الكتاب شعوراً واحداً غير مريحٍ للإنسان - مثل الشعور السلبي العميق عند نجاح الغير أو فوزهم بما لا يمكن للشخص الحصول عليه؛ أوالإرهاق أوالقلق - ويضع الكتاب استراتيجياتٍ لتحويل هذه المشاعر المزعجة وغيرها، إلى مشاعر يمكن التحكم فيها، وذلك من خلال ترابط العلوم والمعارف مع قصص شخصية حقيقية، وتبسيط ذلك باستخدام رسومات توضيحية، وذلك لتعريف القارئ بنقاط منها:-
• كيفية إنهاء سلسلة الأفكار الدخيلة التي يسببها الندم، واستخدام هذا الشعور كبوصلة لاتخاذ القرارات المفيدة بدلاً من الإحباط والسلبيات الأخرى لتلك الأفكار والمشاعر الغير مفيدة.
• كيفية تحديد سبب غضب الشخص، وإيصال تلك المشاعر والأسباب بطريقة مثمرة للمتسبب في الغضب، دون وضع الغير في موقف دفاعي.
• لماذا قد نعاني من السعي إلى الكمال حتى لو شعرنا بأننا بعيدين عن الكمال، وكيف نفصل قيمتنا الذاتية عما نفعله.
تساعدنا المشاعر الكبيرة على فهم أن المشاعر السلبية والصعبة ليست شيئا غير طبيعيا، وأنه يمكننا الخروج منها بإحساس أعمق بالمعنى .. نحن لا يمكننا منع العواطف من الظهور، لكن يمكننا أن نتعلم كيف نصنع السلام معها.
بيع من هذا الكتاب مليون نسخة ألكترونية، مع إتاحتها مجاناً لمراجعي الكتب المسجلين في المواقع المخصصة لتقييمات الكتب، ثم صدرت النسخة الورقية بشكل
Hard Cover
متضمنة 288 صفحة، وذلك بتاريخ 26 إبريل 2022، أي قبل أيام من نشر هذا التعريف.
أجمل ما في الكتاب تبسيط مادته من خلال الرسومات التوضيحية، ولعل ذلك مما سهّل انتشاره، ومع أن الكتاب مصمم وموجه لمجتمعات تختلف في مفاهيمها وثقافتها وتصرفاتها مع المجتمعات الشرقية، إلا أنني لا زلت أوصي بالاطلاع عليه.
.....................................................................
التعريف بمؤلفتيْ الكتاب
1 Liz Fosslien :-
رئيس المحتوى في شركة Humu، وهي شركة تستخدم العلوم السلوكية لتحسين العمل. أما قبل انضمامها إلى شركة Humu ، فقد صممت ليز وقادت ورش عمل للمديرين التنفيذيين في شركات Google و Nike حول كيفية إنشاء ثقافات شاملة. ظهرت مشاريع ومقالات ليز للكتابة وتصور البيانات على قناة CNN، وفي صحف عريقة منها The Economist،
و The New York Times،
و NPR ،
و Freakonomics.
2 Mollie West Duffy :-
هي خبير في التطوير التنظيمي والقيادي. شغلت سابقاً منصب رئيس التصميم التنظيمي في شركة الابتكار العالمية IDEO وباحثاً مشاركًا في عمادة كلية هارفارد للأعمال. عملت مع شركات من جميع الأحجام لتطوير ثقافة جيدة في مكان العمل. ظهرت كتاباتها في صحف عريقة مثل
Harvard Business Review
و Fast Company
و Quartz
و Entrepreneur
وقامت بتقديم دورات للتصميم في ستانفورد وجامعة جنوب كاليفورنيا.
بالرابط أدناه تسجيل تم مع المؤلفة الرئيسية للكتاب تتحدث فيه عن مادته
https://youtu.be/pKupqaUlPpo
"المشاعر الكبيرة: كيف تكون بخير عندما لا تكون الأمور على ما يرام"
تم وصف هذا الكتاب بأنه أداة تعين على استعادة الإحساس بالسيطرة على المشاعر السلبية - والتقليل من شعور الإنسان بالهزيمة وبالوحدة في العالم.
يتناول كل فصل من فصول هذا الكتاب شعوراً واحداً غير مريحٍ للإنسان - مثل الشعور السلبي العميق عند نجاح الغير أو فوزهم بما لا يمكن للشخص الحصول عليه؛ أوالإرهاق أوالقلق - ويضع الكتاب استراتيجياتٍ لتحويل هذه المشاعر المزعجة وغيرها، إلى مشاعر يمكن التحكم فيها، وذلك من خلال ترابط العلوم والمعارف مع قصص شخصية حقيقية، وتبسيط ذلك باستخدام رسومات توضيحية، وذلك لتعريف القارئ بنقاط منها:-
• كيفية إنهاء سلسلة الأفكار الدخيلة التي يسببها الندم، واستخدام هذا الشعور كبوصلة لاتخاذ القرارات المفيدة بدلاً من الإحباط والسلبيات الأخرى لتلك الأفكار والمشاعر الغير مفيدة.
• كيفية تحديد سبب غضب الشخص، وإيصال تلك المشاعر والأسباب بطريقة مثمرة للمتسبب في الغضب، دون وضع الغير في موقف دفاعي.
• لماذا قد نعاني من السعي إلى الكمال حتى لو شعرنا بأننا بعيدين عن الكمال، وكيف نفصل قيمتنا الذاتية عما نفعله.
تساعدنا المشاعر الكبيرة على فهم أن المشاعر السلبية والصعبة ليست شيئا غير طبيعيا، وأنه يمكننا الخروج منها بإحساس أعمق بالمعنى .. نحن لا يمكننا منع العواطف من الظهور، لكن يمكننا أن نتعلم كيف نصنع السلام معها.
بيع من هذا الكتاب مليون نسخة ألكترونية، مع إتاحتها مجاناً لمراجعي الكتب المسجلين في المواقع المخصصة لتقييمات الكتب، ثم صدرت النسخة الورقية بشكل
Hard Cover
متضمنة 288 صفحة، وذلك بتاريخ 26 إبريل 2022، أي قبل أيام من نشر هذا التعريف.
أجمل ما في الكتاب تبسيط مادته من خلال الرسومات التوضيحية، ولعل ذلك مما سهّل انتشاره، ومع أن الكتاب مصمم وموجه لمجتمعات تختلف في مفاهيمها وثقافتها وتصرفاتها مع المجتمعات الشرقية، إلا أنني لا زلت أوصي بالاطلاع عليه.
.....................................................................
التعريف بمؤلفتيْ الكتاب
1 Liz Fosslien :-
رئيس المحتوى في شركة Humu، وهي شركة تستخدم العلوم السلوكية لتحسين العمل. أما قبل انضمامها إلى شركة Humu ، فقد صممت ليز وقادت ورش عمل للمديرين التنفيذيين في شركات Google و Nike حول كيفية إنشاء ثقافات شاملة. ظهرت مشاريع ومقالات ليز للكتابة وتصور البيانات على قناة CNN، وفي صحف عريقة منها The Economist،
و The New York Times،
و NPR ،
و Freakonomics.
2 Mollie West Duffy :-
هي خبير في التطوير التنظيمي والقيادي. شغلت سابقاً منصب رئيس التصميم التنظيمي في شركة الابتكار العالمية IDEO وباحثاً مشاركًا في عمادة كلية هارفارد للأعمال. عملت مع شركات من جميع الأحجام لتطوير ثقافة جيدة في مكان العمل. ظهرت كتاباتها في صحف عريقة مثل
Harvard Business Review
و Fast Company
و Quartz
و Entrepreneur
وقامت بتقديم دورات للتصميم في ستانفورد وجامعة جنوب كاليفورنيا.
بالرابط أدناه تسجيل تم مع المؤلفة الرئيسية للكتاب تتحدث فيه عن مادته
https://youtu.be/pKupqaUlPpo
March 19, 2023
Kalo ditanya apa kabar, biasanya jawab apa?
Mungkin kebanyakan refleks bilang "baik". Bahkan, ketika belajar bahasa baru, kita dilatih untuk selalu baik-baik saja. Kayak pas les Bahasa Inggris, kita berlatih berkata "I'm fine, thank you" ketika ditanya "How are you?"
Akhirnya, jawaban pertanyaan "apa kabar" mulai beragam ketika tumbuh dewasa. Bisa dibilang, tergantung derajat kedekatan dengan siapa yang nanya, hehe. Kalo basa-basi, "baik" cukup lah. Tapi kalo sama sahabat sendiri, bisa jawab "hhhhhhhhhhhhh *tambahkan keluhan segudang*". Tapi sebenernya kita boleh ga sih, ga baik-baik aja?
Big Feelings membahas 7 emosi yang sering sekali kita alami tapi jarang dibahas. Mulai dari marah, burnout, membandingkan diri dengan orang lain, perfeksionisme, sampai uncertainty. Emosi yang sangat familiar dengan kehidupan sehari-hari, tapi entah kenapa ketika emosi datang, kita mungkin suka bingung untuk menghadapinya.
Buku ini dibagi menjadi 7 bab sesuai dengan emosi yang dibahas. Diawali dengan mitos-mitos mengenai emosi yang mungkin sebagian kita amini (tentu saja sekadar mitos), dan diakhiri dengan apa yang harus dilakukan dengan emosi tersebut. Untuk orang-orang yang sudah akrab dengan buku mengenai self-awareness mungkin bukan merupakan hal baru, namun ilustrasi Liz & Mollie dan pembahasannya yang menyenangkan tetap seru untuk diikuti.
Selain membahas setiap emosi dengan mendalam, buku ini mudah diikuti bahkan untuk orang yang sulit fokus ketika membaca buku nonfiksi. Ditambah lagi ada beragam ilustrasi yang menghibur dan subbab yang pendek-pendek dan to the point. Buku ini bakal aku baca kembali ketika mengalami emosi-emosi ga enak (semoga ga sering-sering, yah). Selain penjelasannya enak dibaca, penulis mampu memvalidasi perasaan pembaca yang terkadang dibilang "remeh" (insert comment: ah gitu doang baper...)
Jadi, apakah Big Feelings aku rekomendasikan? Tentu saja! Jika kamu ingin membaca buku yang gampang dipraktekkan, atau ingin mencari intro tentang mengenal diri lebih dalam, buku ini bisa memberikan jawaban. Namun, jika kamu mencari pembahasan yang saintifik dan referensi ilmu psikologi, mungkin kamu bisa mencari buku lainnya.
Mungkin kebanyakan refleks bilang "baik". Bahkan, ketika belajar bahasa baru, kita dilatih untuk selalu baik-baik saja. Kayak pas les Bahasa Inggris, kita berlatih berkata "I'm fine, thank you" ketika ditanya "How are you?"
Akhirnya, jawaban pertanyaan "apa kabar" mulai beragam ketika tumbuh dewasa. Bisa dibilang, tergantung derajat kedekatan dengan siapa yang nanya, hehe. Kalo basa-basi, "baik" cukup lah. Tapi kalo sama sahabat sendiri, bisa jawab "hhhhhhhhhhhhh *tambahkan keluhan segudang*". Tapi sebenernya kita boleh ga sih, ga baik-baik aja?
Big Feelings membahas 7 emosi yang sering sekali kita alami tapi jarang dibahas. Mulai dari marah, burnout, membandingkan diri dengan orang lain, perfeksionisme, sampai uncertainty. Emosi yang sangat familiar dengan kehidupan sehari-hari, tapi entah kenapa ketika emosi datang, kita mungkin suka bingung untuk menghadapinya.
Buku ini dibagi menjadi 7 bab sesuai dengan emosi yang dibahas. Diawali dengan mitos-mitos mengenai emosi yang mungkin sebagian kita amini (tentu saja sekadar mitos), dan diakhiri dengan apa yang harus dilakukan dengan emosi tersebut. Untuk orang-orang yang sudah akrab dengan buku mengenai self-awareness mungkin bukan merupakan hal baru, namun ilustrasi Liz & Mollie dan pembahasannya yang menyenangkan tetap seru untuk diikuti.
Selain membahas setiap emosi dengan mendalam, buku ini mudah diikuti bahkan untuk orang yang sulit fokus ketika membaca buku nonfiksi. Ditambah lagi ada beragam ilustrasi yang menghibur dan subbab yang pendek-pendek dan to the point. Buku ini bakal aku baca kembali ketika mengalami emosi-emosi ga enak (semoga ga sering-sering, yah). Selain penjelasannya enak dibaca, penulis mampu memvalidasi perasaan pembaca yang terkadang dibilang "remeh" (insert comment: ah gitu doang baper...)
Jadi, apakah Big Feelings aku rekomendasikan? Tentu saja! Jika kamu ingin membaca buku yang gampang dipraktekkan, atau ingin mencari intro tentang mengenal diri lebih dalam, buku ini bisa memberikan jawaban. Namun, jika kamu mencari pembahasan yang saintifik dan referensi ilmu psikologi, mungkin kamu bisa mencari buku lainnya.
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