Nurturing Neurodivergence: The Late-Identified Adults' Guide to Building Healthy Relationships with Self and Others

by Jasmine K.Y. Loo

Life is hard enough—but for late-identified neurodivergent adults, the journey often comes with years of unanswered questions.

Nurturing Neurodivergence: The Late-Identified Adults’ Guide to Building Healthy Relationships with Self and Others is a neuro-affirming workbook-guide designed specifically for autistic adults and adults with ADHD who discovered their neurodivergence later in life.

Blending research, clinical experience, and lived insight, psychologist Jasmine Loo offers practical strategies for:
- Cultivating self-acceptance and a healthier self-view
- Building more authentic and sustainable relationships
- Preventing and recovering from neurodivergent burnout

Each chapter includes reflective questions, journaling prompts, and vibrant full-colour visuals that make complex concepts easier to process. Drawing on evidence-based approaches including Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), the book is both practical and deeply affirming.

Whether you’re newly identified, seeking tools for daily life, or a neuro-affirming practitioner supporting clients, Nurturing Neurodivergence is a trusted companion on the path toward connection, resilience, and hope.

Literary Accolades:
- 2024 Montaigne Medal Finalist
- Reader Views 2024 Australia/New Zealand/Australasia-Global (Gold Award)
- Reader Views 2024 Mind/Body/Spirit (Silver Award)
- Reader Views 2024 Self-Help (Silver Award)
- Booklife Editor's Pick

Genres: Nonfiction, Autistic Spectrum Disorder

150 pages, Paperback

First published December 2, 2023

About the author

Jasmine is a neurodivergent psychologist in Australia, author, and lifelong storyteller. Her acclaimed non-fiction debut, Nurturing Neurodivergence, reflected her passion for neuroaffirming practice.

With Reigning Fire, she turns to fiction to explore identity and survival in a world woven with myth, history, and imagination. Her psychology background shapes her characters’ inner lives, creating fantasy that resonates with emotional truth. Reigning Fire is the first in The Reigning series.

In addition to providing supervision to students and other professionals, she works with clients at her Melbourne practice. She founded her practice to create an inclusive, safe space where neurodiversity is celebrated.

Reviews

[Lexie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don't typically go for self-help-type books for a number of reasons. They're too boring. They're too "just be positive." They're too accusatory. They're too "just do better." The list goes on. I find them useless. But there was just something about this one that drew me in, and it did not disappoint.

The author wrote the book with compassion and understanding while still including scientific evidence. It was easy to read, and it kept my attention. I never felt like my AuADHD was viewed negatively throughout this, but I also (thankfully) never felt like the author was writing about some 'superpowers.' The author wrote it to educate through a lens of understanding and grace - not judgment.

I really enjoyed how the book presented information in a variety of ways (sentences, infographics, thought questions, etc.) because it helped me to truly understand the author's points. I didn't think I would enjoy the thought questions because normally "self-help" thought questions don't do anything for me. However, the author wrote her questions in a way that wasn't intimidating or fishing for a specific answer. She encouraged you to reflect on your experiences as well as better understand your own neurodivergence. Many of the questions she posed were difficult to answer in the sense that I had simply never thought of them before. It undoubtedly made me understand my strengths and weaknesses better, and the author offered some tips and tricks throughout.

If you're looking for an active read to truly help you better understand your own autism and/or ADHD, this book is amazing! If you're looking for an interactive book to help you and/or your child understand how their brain works, this book could be amazing!

I say "could" instead of "is" because the book does cover some more adult concepts (such as abuse). All topics are clearly defined and pointed out within the table of contents and before each section, so a parent can easily skip sections as they see fit for their child's age. However, "hard" topics are covered really well and could benefit a child when appropriately navigated with an adult's help and supervision. For example, the abuse section discusses friendships, establishing healthy boundaries, and spotting unhealthy relationships which are all topics neurodivergent children struggle with. Starting the conversation and education on these topics helps to prevent neurodivergent children from falling into easy traps.

I know this book is written specifically for late-diagnosed neurodivergent adults, but the author did an amazing job working through a range of topics that any neurodivergent individual could benefit from. I strongly encourage adult discussion and supervision if getting this book for your child, but this book could greatly benefit a neurodivergent child too. It can also help a parent understand their neurodivergent child's needs better.

[Drew M Francis · Rating 4 out of 5]

Learned a bunch of very useful strategies and techniques to assist me as I figure out how to navigate my way through this world

[Nicole Field · Rating 3 out of 5]

I had really complex thoughts about this one because, for a lot of it, I really felt as though I was being talked down to. This perhaps should have written on it 'an introduction to' somewhere. For someone like me, who reads a lot of similar content on these topics, I found it much more a text aimed at high schoolers than adults.

Still, that doesn't take away its use as a comprehensive text! People need to start reading about this stuff somewhere, and for anyone who wasn't familiar with a lot of what was being discussed, that feeling of being talked down to probably wouldn't be so prevalent.

I will admit that I personally only stuck with this to see the section on alexithymia which turned out to be the second last section of the book. There are fantastic infographics the whole way through for anyone who remembers and learns from that kind of visual method rather than blocks of text.

The last section was one I accidentally found really useful. I recognised before it was stated that it went into Acceptance Commitment Therapy, which I personally have found useful for years prior to picking up this book. So the parallels that were made specifically between someone who is ND and what they can gain from value based living were really interesting to me to find.

[Crimson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you NetGalley and BooksGoSocial for this eARC in exchange for an honest review.

This book was both accessible and easily digestible. I did notice a large amount of typos, but that may be because this book is not originally formated for electronic consumption. It was very distracting, but I pressed on.

The book is a great length- I like books that are on the shorter side. It was written without a lot of jargon that would make it difficult to understand.

The topic of this book is extremely important- there is a large population of either late diagnosed or self-realized neurodivergents who essentially fell through the cracks during childhood.

I liked that the book also had access to additional online content on the author's website for further activities. I wish the section on values had included more for people who don't have values rather than people who want to prioritize too many values 😂 I can't identify my values.

[Reader Views · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Nurturing Neurodivergence: The Late-Identified Adults’ Guide to Building Healthy Relationships with Self and Others” by Jasmine K. Y. Loo is an eye-opening exploration into late-identified neurodivergent adults. For those who have never heard of the term, or who have but aren’t quite sure what it means, it means that neurodiversity was or is identified in adults later in life. Reading about a topic from an expert opinion is always helpful. In this case, the author is an accomplished psychologist. Reading about the same topic from someone who lived the experience is even better, and that’s what we have in this book, as psychologist Jasmine Loo describes her journey with neurodiversity.

The information contained in this book sheds so much light on the subject and how a person with Autism or ADHD at any level, can find self-acceptance and an understanding of themselves or other neurodivergent adults. This book makes it easy to understand the nature and challenges of living with neurodivergence but gives practical advice on how to deal with it.

Loo has created a gift that can be used by professionals, parents, and individual adults, as a resource, guidebook, personal workbook, and tool for self-reflection. The easy-to-understand infographics are designed for neurodivergent readers who may find stress in loads of information, have short attention spans, or are easily overwhelmed or discouraged by walls of text. This allows for greater understanding for everyone.

If you are an adult newly identified as neurodivergent, this book can help dispel some of the frustration, confusion, and mystery you may have experienced during childhood and in your entire life. I connect with the material in this book in a personal way, and I’m sure some readers will too. This book can help you realize you aren’t alone, and that there are professionals and fellow neurodivergent adults who can help and support you.

Until now, resources and information on adults with this identification haven’t been as plentiful as it has been for children and their parents. Whether it’s late-identified autism for adults, or adult ADHD, setting boundaries, improving communication, or learning how abuse plays a part in how you interact with others in the world, the information contained in this book offers answers to the questions you have been asking about yourself. How you see yourself often dictates how you see others, and helping yourself improve can prevent health problems related to frustration, stress, hopelessness, and apathy.

One of my favorite parts of this guidebook is the questions and activities, which will keep readers engaged and help them sort through what they’ve experienced and how they’re feeling or behaving. Those familiar with CBT, or Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy will see how these, and other psychotherapy models and approaches are the foundation for helping neurodivergent clients in a supportive setting. The techniques are professional, offering concrete solutions and strategies; the tone is compassionate and understanding.

When it comes to neurodivergence, one size does not fit all, and each person lives their own truth. If you want a book that will open doors to self-understanding and possibility, “Nurturing Neurodivergence: The Late-Identified Adults’ Guide to Building Healthy Relationships with Self and Others” by Jasmine K. Y. Loo is a book you should read today.

[GemmaReads5678 · Rating 5 out of 5]

As someone who found out they were autistic as an adult, and fairly recently, this book sounded like it was made for me. This is definitely not a book that will help you determine whether or not you are autistic, but rather a toolbox for people who already know they are autistic and are learning how to cope and figure stuff out. I really liked the comparison of finding out you are autistic as an adult to wearing the wrong prescription glasses for most of your life.

This book had a lot of worksheets the reader can work through, and presented the information in a clear, easy to follow manner. I didn't really feel the need to do the worksheets and some stuff felt fairly common sense to me, but that's just a me thing, and others may find the worksheets helpful.

I also think this would be a good book to give an NT loved one who is struggling to understand your autism diagnosis. By breaking it down into the things you may be trying to understand and improve upon, it can help others better understand. This is especially true if you've already spent your entire life perfecting masking so most people think you are NT, and they have no idea the internal negative affects that has on us NDs.

[Emma S · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great starting point for neurodivergent folks who weren’t diagnosed until adulthood!

I found the explanations of the concepts the book explores to be easy to understand, and the examples and scenarios were helpful. I think it’s useful for pointing folks in a direction for next steps (such as types of therapy or research to explore, exercises to try, ideas for further self-reflection, etc.).

For those who have done a lot of their own research about neurodivergence, were diagnosed some time ago, and/or feel they have a good understanding of what neurodivergence means for them, this book might not be as helpful. It’s definitely more of an “intro to neurodivergence” level. I really appreciate that it goes into details/scenarios that tend to apply more to late-identified folks than other groups, so in that sense, it could be useful to anyone who falls into this category, regardless of where they are in their neurodivergence/self-discovery journey!

[Matthew Thong · Rating 5 out of 5]

An amazing read! Explains difficult concepts in such a simple-to-understand way, and beautifully illustrated throughout. Very comprehensive and covers all the topics that you would have to read multiple other books to cover. As a psychologist working in this space myself, I highly recommend it to clients and practitioners alike!

[Essy Knopf · Rating 5 out of 5]

A concise but powerful introduction to navigating neurodivergence-related challenges. Jasmine’s passion is evident on every page, and the use of clear, thoughtful graphics makes the material more accessible and memorable. A great starting point for anyone looking to better understand and manage their neurodivergent experience.

[Bonita Soley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Clearly written and easy to follow with man great diagrams to visualize the topic. Nicely integrates both autism and ADHD and how they interrelated. Like that there was focus on late identification since there are many out there.

[Stephen Bedard · Rating 5 out of 5]

So much of the resources on ADHD and autism are focused on children. But many adults are neurodivergent and a significant number are late diagnosed. This book is focused on these, giving actionable advice on many of the situations that neurodivergent adults face.

[lizzi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fantastic read. Easy to follow, I appreciated that there was a positivity about being neurodivergent and learning more about neurodivergency.

[Hutch Hussein · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great guide to understanding the NDs in your life and/or helping you if you’re ND with the workbook sections.

[Lilly (The Autism Books by Autistic Authors Project) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Written by Australian neurodivergent psychologist Jasmine Loo, Nurturing Neurodivergence is a recently published book for late-identified autistic and ADHD adults (1). Relationships with self and others can be difficult to navigate at the best of times and for many, this becomes even more complex when working through a late autism or ADHD diagnosis/identification. Part educational, part workbook, Nurturing Neurodivergence discusses autism and ADHD from ‘beyond the medical model’, helps the reader to understand their autism and/or ADHD journey, investigates healthy relationships, boundaries, self-care, communication strategies, and lastly looks at emotions, mental health, and values.

Loo introduces a range of clinical and social concepts relevant to autistic and ADHD experiences by breaking down the DSM criteria and introducing mind maps for each diagnosis, focusing on aspects more commonly seen in late-diagnosed people. This will be helpful for those who like a broad understanding of concepts and provides a good background for anyone who wishes to undertake more detailed research. There are numerous analogies to help readers understand the topics and the book is written in a casual, conversational tone, which felt a lot like talking to a psychologist.

Each chapter contains questions for reflection and several activities, many of which are based on Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). There are also activities more specific to common autism and ADHD concerns, such as finding stims for regulation based on different sensory needs and finding ways to balance activities which drain and restore energy to help with burnout.

Diagrams frequently accompany the text explanation of concepts, as well as the activity worksheets. Some of these are available to download from the author’s website (requiring a code from the book), which is helpful if you need more room, want to do the activity more than once, or don’t like writing in books. The graphics are full colour, each with a different style and typeface(s). Sometimes, a lot of information is presented in a small space. I found the busyness and lack of continuity somewhat distracting, which slowed comprehension. However, this is very much a personal preference and I know some Autistic and/or ADHD folk are the opposite, finding bright, bold graphics to be engaging.

Having spent a lot of time in therapy before my diagnosis, many of the ACT and CBT topics were familiar to me, as were some of the other topics (based on my own learning since diagnosis). It was however, refreshing to see the ACT and CBT topics have been adapted to be more affirming than the way these therapies are commonly presented. Some topics were also new (and helpful) to me, particularly around abuse and relational trauma, which I have bookmarked and will be returning to.

I think Nurturing Neurodivergence will be most appealing to newly identified autistic and ADHD adults, those who are still finding their way post identification, or working to improve their own self-concept and their relationships with others. This compassionate book provides lots of information in the way of text, diagrams, and activities and will be a great starting point for deeper investigation or possible further work with a mental health professional.
1. Although the book title refers to neurodivergence, only autism and ADHD are discussed in the book.

[Yeoh Ming · Rating 5 out of 5]

今天总算读完这本《Nurturing Neurodivergence》。

只能说，在现代这个年代，心理或头脑发育方面的诊断还没有很明确很科学的诊断标准。

也感慨大部分的研究主题，都是看有多少研究者对这个课题“affected”。如果本来就属于是少数人的ND们，在生活当中已经拼尽全力才能维持“正常”了，还要达到很高的学业成就才能有资格去进行这方面的研究，那这个领域确实很难有更深入且齐全的发展。

书中拓展了潛在ND们对自我的了解，超越了DSM5的诊断，也提出late identified ND这个概念，让那些被目前不完整的医学诊断标准漏掉的受苦者有一个暂时的栖身之所。

因为作者本人也是ND，所以对于autism和adhd方面在为人处世上、工作上、情绪驾驭上有什么样的困难都有很深入的了解，并且说出很多感同身受的例子。

读到其中一段关于alexithymia（述情障碍，意思是：情绪辨识障碍）的部分，我甚至隐隐觉得我好像也有。

我不是无法辨认自己的情绪，但是很多时候会很容易情绪失控，感觉我的情绪好像会从0直接升到100，但其实这只是因为我无法在情绪上升的过程当中觉察到，直到这份情绪开始坐上驾驶座，直接控制了我的行为了，我做出了失控的行为的时候，就来不及了。

去年我发生了一件大事，一度让我想终结我自己的生命。大概是我因为我的表达需求，因为我想要说“正确的事”（自闭症谱系障碍的人其中一个表现就是会有很强烈的说出正确的事情的欲望），而说出了目前AI崛起的时候人们心中产生的阴暗面不敢接受的事情，导致被群起而攻之，最终，造成我需要被公司“献祭”，来平息事件。

那时候，除了我的伴侣以外，没有人真正在乎。

当时是先由阿德勒的《被讨厌的勇气》这本书（当然作者不是阿德勒），教会我区分我与他人的界限，然后接触到ACT，懂得去认知抽离，由认知层面上进行抽离，然后开始更有意识地去确立自己的价值与方向。

过程当然也有做到一些不是很理智，但是是当下最好的决定，但至少到现在一切都慢慢步入正轨。

然后我去上了《自我驾驭学》课程，也完整的学会了一步一步的与自己过去和解，才出现越来越多好的变化。

在这些经历的中途，我去见了精神科医师，确诊了我的adhd，然后医师也很随便的下定论了我没有autism😂

我原本也认为这对我没什么影响，但是确实在我被诊断为ADHD之后，这解释了我很多思维认知上、行为上、情绪上的“不一样”。

这份认知也帮助我重新审视了我过去遭受的种种困难，原来不是真的是我本身的劣根性，而是大脑发育得不太一样。

我不是讲话没经过大脑，我只是不知道你们“正常人”是原来经过十八个弯才讲出一句完整的话的；
我不是喜欢跟人吵架，我只是对于“对”的事情有强烈的要求；
我不是想太多，我他妈就是因为我有想那么多，你们才不看到更糟糕的我；

这一切从自我劣根性转变到自我接纳的过程，在不知不觉中发生，我的为人也才能变得更为温和。

在工作上虽然我也有跟我的上级提到我的ADHD时，一开始也被很不理解的回应：“你不要一直拿你的ADHD来讲可以吗？”

后来上级也有逐步去了解什么是ADHD，也让我稍微欣慰。

过去的种种，累积堆叠到30岁的这一年，串联了30个年头的线索和资讯，我才明白“过好我的生活”对于ND人来说，是有多困难，也多重要。

读了这本书，从ND的诊断问题和定义，ND Masking，到我们会面对的人际问题和解决的办法（沟通上很多解决办法我都在上课学习NLP心理影响的课里学过了），情绪管理的问题，都在书里给了很清晰的解释了。

这本书，真的是透过科学，（如果科学目前暂时无法满足的话）透过逻辑合理的论述和技巧，真正的“对你好”。

作者的ASD特征也让她在书写的时候会做很多remarks，所以以我一向找茬的个性我也找不到作者有哪里说得不够完全或者有模糊的地方。

阅读的过程很轻松，也有感受到，作者身为一个亲自走过痛苦的人，循循善诱的带着读者一步一步，走进去，了解自己，善待自己；然后走出来，面对这个世界。

我很喜欢作者最后以ACT的积极心态作为结尾（这个“积极心态”绝对不是那种欺骗自己的正能量正面的假开心），让读者试试看第一次真正的尝试正念（正念也不是正能量的念头，中文翻译真的是够了）

这本书没有真正意义上的结尾，读完后我并没有一种“啊~读完了，作者跟我们好好道别了”的感觉，我只是感觉，作者说完了一个段落的课题，接下来我们还有很多个合作的session，我可以在需要的时候，再次拿起这本书，更深入的执行书中介绍的方法，让我的生活变得更好。

昨晚我有写了一个关于跨年的东西，但我并没有提到任何的跨年心愿，因为心愿都没用的，我要的心愿就只是好好活着，好好生活，少点痛苦，但我会在接下来的人生里，践行我的价值：

学、思、平、稳。难得至极。

[Annemarie · Rating 3 out of 5]

There was a lot in this book to like. Firstly, not much is out there to support late identified/diagnosed neurodivergence and some of the content is really helpful in navigating the challenges of living in a predominantly neurotypical world. I like the graphics a lot, especially the mind maps which provided a useful way of simplifying the complexity. I like that the author has provided web access to the many useful worksheets throughout the book.

Unfortunately, the book was let down in a number of ways. Too many typos, mostly just words missing made it very difficult for me to read, and I didn't like the overly casual style of the writing. Just my opinion, but I reckon some neurodivergents will get frustrated with the writing style, which appeared to be more directed to adolescents than adults (at least this neurodivergent did). I started skipping chunks of texts because I just wanted to get to the point. I think a good editor could do wonders for this book. I also felt that it was very introductory and a bit light on in terms of scope and depth. While this is not necessarily a bad thing, given I paid $38 I was expecting a bit more of a tome not a tiny unpolished book of 140 pages. In contrast I'm currently reading "The Year I Met My Brain" which cost me $25 (with 352 beautifully illustrated full colour pages). It also probably needed to be in a bigger size format, as some of the diagrams were really hard to read.

Also, please, please provide references and a bibliography in the book. I like to see where the source material comes from. Having to use a QR code everytime I want to look at a reference is just plain annoying.

[DW Rowlands · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you NetGalley and BooksGoSocial for this eARC in exchange for an honest review.

I was definitely excited to read a book for adults with ADHD and autism written by a neurodivergent mental health practitioner, and I think that this fits well into that category. The book is written in relatively plain language and explicitly targeted for a neurodivergent audience who doesn't know much about neurodivergence and is trying to understand themselves better. I think it does a good job of serving this audience. I also appreciated the discussion of the "female presentation" of autism, which has historically been neglected. Overall, this seems like a good starting point for adults who have recently realized that they are neurodivergent

That said, I had a couple of complaints, all of which are likely consequences of it being a self-published work: there were some typos (though not a huge number, I felt), and the typesetting sometimes leaves a bit to be desired. And, well, I found some of the language more informal than I tend to like, although I recognize that that may actually be a net positive for many readers. In addition, I was quite annoyed that the book doesn't contain a bibliography, instead offering a QR code to scan for access to the bibliography. (The URL the code links to isn't even given for readers who might not be able to open QR codes!)

[jessdaniellereads · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF at 48%. I had a really hard time reading this, as it felt a bit scatterbrained in a way (I guess that makes sense though, right? LOL). The writing was also a bit too bland to keep my attention. I guess I was just expecting something else out of this.

Thank you NetGalley & BooksGoSocial for the eARC.

[Sam · Rating 5 out of 5]

I felt so seen, so understood reading this book. At the same time, it was written so compassionately that it was as if someone's giving me a bear hug. I wish I had this sort of guidance growing up, but even now, many of the things will be helpful for me. I read through it first, and can't wait to re-read it and fill out all the question bits. Will definitely recommend for auties and adhd adults!