Two disabled, queer teens find belonging in this poignant platonic love story about singing, signing, and solidarity.
CASEY KOWALSKI once dreamed of becoming a professional singer. Then the universe threw her a life-altering curveball— sudden, permanent, and profound hearing loss—just before her family's move from Portland to Miami. Now, she's learning to navigate the world as a Deaf-Hard of Hearing person while trying to conceal her hearing loss from her new schoolmates.
HAYDEN GONZÁLEZ-ROSSI is also keeping secrets. Three generations of González men have risen to stardom on the soccer field, and Hayden knows his family expects him to follow in their footsteps, but he wants to quit soccer and pursue a career on Broadway. If only his Generalized Anxiety Disorder didn't send him into a debilitating spiral over the thought of telling the truth.
Casey and Hayden are both determined to hide who they really are. But when they cross paths at school, they bond over their shared love of music and their mutual feeling that they don't belong, and the secrets come spilling out. Their friendship is the beating heart of this dual-perspective story featuring thoughtful disability representation, nuanced queer identities, and a lovably quirky supporting cast.
Sydney Langford (they/them) is a queer, Deaf-Hard of Hearing, and physically disabled author who resides in Portland, Oregon. Their biggest passion in life is creating stories that reflect the diverse world we live in—whether that be rom-coms about quirky, disabled teens; or contemporaries that feature queer joy. Their debut YA novel THE LOUDEST SILENCE will be released 7/30/2024 by Holiday House and their YA rom-com SOMEONE TO DAYDREAM ABOUT will be released in 2026.
“I’m so empty, so tired, that I feel nothing. It’s the loudest silence imaginable.”
Don't let me low rating sway you from reading this wholesome and lovable read that touches upon how difficult it is for Deaf/Hard of Hearing people to find their voice in a world where everyone is speaking above them - trying to assert that they happen to know more about what it means to know sign language than those who actually have to live with it. Sydney Langford's debut The Loudest Silence addressed that poignantly and with raw emotion that I felt Casey's frustration. It was an intensely written scene that showed how people do not treat those who are hard of hearing seriously enough and it hurt me. 😟
The story shifts between Casey and Hayden's perspectives neatly enough that we get a good sense of how difficult and trying both their lives are at this point till they actually meet and build a solid and trusting friendship. Casey, struggling at her new school and avoiding friends at all costs in the fear of being hurt, while also feeling her aspirations of becoming a singer becoming lost with her sudden hearing loss, faced a difficult challenge. Hayden, struggling to hide his inner passion of singing and dancing - 'I’d become the poster child for “family misfit”!', when all his family's ambitions have ever centered on living out the football dream, questioned his every move in fear of his dream being revealed.
“Music was my only way to explore challenging situations and express my emotions. I shaped my happy moments into verses and hid my deepest secrets in bridges. I wove my soul into the choruses I wrote.
My life was a song.”
Their own personal obstacles prevented them from following their dream - be it family obligation or limitations that finally gave them the chance to bond over their shared secret.It's a tough patch for both of them, but their personalities intertwine so well that it is impossible for them not to become friends and be a part of each other's hearts. 'I think I’m slowly chipping away at her layers and revealing what’s underneath. I’m starting to trust her, and it looks like the feeling might be mutual.' ❤️🩹 It is a joyous celebration of platonic love of how deeply Hayden's cheery and considerate personality touches Casey with such a positive and caring light that they become really close friends.
It was a bit too sudden, in my opinion, but I'm trying to be less critical, for how personal this was for the author. Yet, for a book that was meant to showcase how music brought two wayward souls together, I wish there could have been more emphasis on it. Aside from one rehearsal, there were only about two more instances where they even practiced before their grande finale that did not convince me enough that it was something they connected on. 😥 And I liked their rehearsals; I liked how they were able to bond over their passion for song-writing and performing. But, it was very telling rather than showing; I wanted to see them engage more on that level, rather than being told about their efforts and hard work.
I feel like a harsh Cruella saying that the romance felt forced and unnecessary, because it is a positive and hopeful feeling to portray; but, it did not feel believable enough for me. I sensed the moment when the author was going to head down that path; I really wished that she hadn't, but as sweet as it was, it would have been fine without it. 🫤 And I don't know what are the rules for mentioning one's sexuality, but Hayden being aroace; aside from mentioning a asexual flag in his room - it really added nothing to the plot. Or is that the basis on which he and Casey were able to form such a solid friendship of love so quickly, in which case, does that not seem then the wrong way to depict it? I feel conflicted bringing it up, but I want to understand it. 🙍🏻♀️
“I guess there are people who will reject you for your differences and people who will take you as you come. You just have to wait until the right people come along.”
See, the story felt a bit divided into parts that made their perspectives feel a little bit unbalanced. Like, the first bit was dedicated to Casey overcoming her own struggles with moving to a new school and her inherent fear of rejection if anyone found out she was deaf. 'Not half-Deaf, half-Hearing. Not half-accepted, half-shunned. Just me. Just Casey.' Once it was resolved, we moved onto Hayden's own crisis of his anxiety that was easily understood and accepted by his family, save for his very stern Tia, his soccer coach who expected more for him than his dream of pursuing a career in Broadway. And that made the story a bit uneven for me; even though it had a purpose, I just didn't think it was meshing well-together.
I think my biggest argument with authors now is going to be convenience - convenience of how they allow the characters to connect with each other, that can either make or break a dynamic. I cannot fault them for it, because it is their book and it is the direction they chose to take, because by heading in another direction, it would be an entirely different book. 😞 I liked that the author showed the different sides in which people show interest in learning about sign language and how to communicate. 'How does being deaf/hoh work exactly? I know what deaf means and I know what hoh means, but how can you be both?' Hayden was a bright and receptive young man, who cared enough for Casey to learn; Paz, for all his energetic enthusiasm, was more on the Notes side.
But, for the sake of - again, I'm sorry I keep pointing this out - convenience, the other two characters in their friends group were already familiar with it, so it was easier for them to connect with Casey. To me, this makes for easy writing; I know, in a world where these main characters have enough problems, it is okay to allow them this reprieve, and it is normal to have family members who are deaf, but, in my eyes, it makes it less believable or realistic a relationship. 😮💨 *thud* This is me banging my head against a desk, because I know how silly my argument sounds, but it still exists in my head. And it detracts me from actually caring enough for Casey to find her own happiness. As sweet and considerate as it is for her to have it. ❤️🩹
“Why are you even learning ASL if you’re going to exclude Deaf people?... It was invented for people like me. People who can’t fucking hear you!”
I appreciated the inclusion of the sign language diagram at the start of the story. I even practiced a few hand signs myself. But, at times, the writing on both aspects - be it Hayden's anxiety disorder or Casey explaining the different ways in which hard of hearing have to communicate was more of a clinical explanation than a relatable approach. That drew me out of the writing, at times; especially how often Casey had to note the difference in which the character was addressing her. 😕 The song lyrics were a nice touch; a poignant and heartfelt look at all the raw emotions that weighed deeply on both of them and how they struggled for their true voices to be heard - to be seen. 🥺
The friends dynamic was refreshing; each of them brought their own individuality and spark that made them so supportive and receptive of each other's issues and concerns. As a Millennial who grew up on High School Musical and crushing HARD on Zac Efron, I loved seeing Troy Bolton having his moment to shine. 😍 There were some really endearing moments where their support for Casey and Hayden made me smile.'They’ve given you so much support and helped you regain your confidence, and it’s clear how happy they make you.' Everyone was just so good, even the grumpy César who had such an understanding and kind heart buried under his rough exterior. 🫂
Despite the sensitive and heavy themes, it was a very lighthearted and pleasant one. And perhaps therein lies the problem. I respect that it was written with the intention of the author to be a positive and comforting one for those who could relate to it; but, it felt just too nice and safe for me - again, for me. 😕 The last bit was easily tied with the two of them working together to showcase their singing prowess and musical talents for the world to witness. It felt a bit too neatly wrapped for me to enjoy. The writing started off quite strong, but towards the end, I felt it lose a bit of its heart and finesse, where it veered off into a bit of a cute and less than poignant feel to it that was a bit too sweet for my liking. 😢
i read this book literally more than a year ago, SEVERAL versions ago, and even back in one of its previous forms, TLS was one of the most heartfelt, wonderful books i've had the chance to read. casey and hayden just feel so real!!! this book is a perfect example of what happens when you let marginalized young adults tell stories that mean something to them. i truly believe in my heart that sydney is going to be a publishing rockstar someday, and this book is just the start.
This was so incredibly disappointing. I had been looking forward to this book since it was first announced and from the start of the book the vibes were just, very much off. I can't really speak to the Deaf-Hard of Hearing rep side of things, but from talking with a Deaf friend of mine, I have some concerns about some of the aspects of this book.
And then there's the matter of a side character's inexplicable obsession with Rob Lowe. This came up multiple times and unfortunately was one of this character's main traits. I have lots of questions but mainly just WHY.
I also really wanted more from the queer rep in this book. While I definitely don't think books need to be About or center a character's queerness to count as queer books, for much if not all but a few lines of this book it felt like these main characters were bisexual and aroace in name only.
Lastly, I don't think the author executed any of the relationships in this book very well, a particular disappointment considering how much I was looking forward to it for the marketed platonic love story. We were repeatedly told that these characters love each other, but there was very little showing. I wanted to FEEL the love these two had for each other, and I just didn't. At all.
It's clear this story is personal to the author, but unfortunately, I think this book just needed a lot more work to deliver a well-crafted story in all the areas it was trying to handle.
Exploring expression through language and song, THE LOUDEST SILENCE will make your heart sing. Sydney Langford crafts a delightfully captivating story that doesn’t shy away from the realities of grief and change.
I truly cannot say enough good things about this YA debut featuring Casey, a bisexual teen girl who experiences Sudden Sensorineural Hearing Loss leaving her Deaf-Hard of Hearing and having to grapple with what that means for love of singing.
When her parents move to Miami for a year Casey is determined to just get by and doesn't count on making friends but Hayden and his group of queer friends/family are impossible to resist, wrapping Casey into their friend group and showing up for her in ways her old friends in Portland never did.
This book is full of a diverse cast of queer characters, great friendships, aromantic and romantic love interests, AMAZING #ownvoices disability and mental health rep (Hayden has a Generalized Anxiety Disorder and experiences panic attacks). The book also does an excellent job addressing the issues like cyberbullying, ableism, grief/loss and familial expectations among other things.
My only criticism is that the book isn't (yet?) available on audio but it is soo worth picking up. Especially for fans of authors like Anna Sortino and Melissa See. I am very excited to read what debut author Sydney Langford writes next. This was a wonderful #DisabilityDecember read!
i received an advanced review copy from the author as a member of their street team. this did not affect my rating.
casey once dreamed of being a professional singer. when she suddenly develops profound hearing loss, her world is turned upside down. now, her goal is to make it through the one year her family is in miami without uncovering her hearing loss.
hayden is an anxious teen who wants to be on broadway, but family pressure to be a soccer star holds him back. when he and casey cross paths at school, they bond over their shared love of music and feeling like they don’t belong.
i’ve been so excited to read this book since hearing about it! the fact that it featured deaf-hard of hearing rep, anxiety rep, and a queerplatonic love story initially drew me in. i loved the way these all played out in the book. i’m not deaf-hard of hearing myself, but i have family members who are, and i definitely saw similarities between them and casey (such as laughing and/or nodding when they don’t understand). i would say i have anxiety, though, and i thought that hayden’s anxiety was very realistically depicted.
the friendships in this book just warmed my heart. there were several moments i teared up🥹 not only did casey and hayden have a great friendship, but casey fell into hayden’s friend group, and i loved everyone’s banter. casey was determined to not make any friends during the year, but it’s safe to say she failed🤭
i’d highly recommend this to YA contemporary readers, and i’m so excited to read whatever’s next from sydney langford!
There’s three things I need to say about The Loudest Silence and, considering I have not taken any time to process after reading this book, get ready for a rambling review.
I enjoyed The Loudest Silence. I laughed, I cried, and I learned so much.
Reading this book took me through a whole range of emotions. For that reason, I chose to rate this four stars. I love when a book turns me into an emotional mess.
⟢ I have been on a mission to further diversify my bookshelf. Part of that means reading more books with disability representation.
In my own reading habits, I noticed books with disability representation have been falling through the cracks so, earlier this year, I created a separate TBR consisting of books with disability rep, like The Loudest Silence.
I loved seeing the world from Casey’s perspective and I so loved the author’s decision to include visual descriptions of ASL and SimCom. I took the time to picture what each sign might look like. That enriched my reading experience.
I learned so much about the Deaf community and sign language while reading. This book is the perfect starting point for a deep dive into disability awareness and advocacy.
Now let’s get into my thoughts on Hayden.
⟢ Hayden is simply a more-developed Troy Bolton.
Basically, Hayden is a fútbol (soccer) player who secretly dreams of leaving the sport behind and pursuing a career on Broadway. Hayden’s challenges are cookie-cutter. His character immediately reminded me of Troy Bolton from High School Musical.
Several chapters in, one of the side characters mentions this similarity. I want you to know that I CALLED IT! I am both bummed and thrilled that the author outright agreed with this statement.
As thrilling as it is to discover an author’s source of inspiration, Hayden comes across as flat. Maybe if I hadn’t grown up on High School Musical, this would have been a more dramatic reveal. But a teenage boy with musical theater dreams seems basic…
⟢ I picked up this book entirely because I was promised aroace representation, but I wasn’t impressed with what I got.
According to the reviews I read before starting this book, Hayden is aromantic asexual. My problem is that these words are never explicitly said. Hayden only states that he isn’t interested in non-platonic relationships.
As someone who read the ebook, I can confirm that the words aromantic asexual never come up. I looked up every variation. The only mention is an ace sticker on Hayden’s guitar.
To me, it seemed like we were dancing around the topic of his sexuality. I wanted the record to be set straight or, in this case, aroace. For people who do not know about aromanticism or asexuality, I can see the lack of clarity perpetuating unawareness.
Overall, The Loudest Silence is one of the best YA debuts I have read this year. This book made me happy and that’s all I want when I read.
Bottom line: I am looking forward to more books by Sydney Langford!
This book was awesome. I loved the LGBTQ , hard of hearing/ ASL , and anxiety representation it brought. As a broadway geek I LOVED how Hayden wanted to be on Broadway. I liked how we got the perspective of Casey adjusting to being hard of hearing while at a new school. Overall just a wonderful read.
This book is going to mean so much to so many people. It’s hilarious, sweet, heartfelt, and literally just so much fun!! Queerplatonic love at its sweetest, with characters I would literally die for - this book is one of Syd’s many masterpieces to come.
Sometimes you find a book that gives you those warm feelings inside and makes you smile inexplicably. The Loudest Silence is the embodiment of that feeling for me.
We get to take a journey with one of the two MC’s, Casey, as she navigates coming to terms with being a deaf/hard of hearing person. She went through her initial shock and realization before the book started, but we join her as she moves across the country with her family.
She’s already been through the initial departure of friendships during her coping with hearing loss, as well as her boyfriend breaking up with her. So at this point, she’s almost hit rock bottom.
Hayden comes from a family of football players (not the American version… soccer!!!!), but that isn’t where his heart is. He secretly dreams of making his way onto Broadway. But instead of “disappointing” his family, he deals with anxiety attacks while slowly hating the sport he used to love more and more.
Both of the MC’s feel like my children now. It’s that feeling when you grow attached to a character and want nothing bad to ever happen to them? That is me!!!
There is some incredible rep in this book. We get a bisexual deaf/hard of hearing MC, an asexual MC with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), as well as a plethora of queer side characters. I learned about ways that a person can learn to sing and feel the music as a deaf/HOH person. And to top it all off, there was an adorable emotional support lizard that gives kisses.🦎
Sixteen-year-old Casey Kowalski grapples with sudden hearing loss and a cross-country move, trying to hide her disability while starting over in a new school. Soccer captain Hayden González-Rossi struggles with his family’s expectations and his own anxiety, but when he and Casey connect over their shared passions and secrets, their deepening friendship becomes the heart of their journey toward self-acceptance.
This book has my heart. You’ll see that #selfieswithbooks has made a triumphant return here. There were several times I had to set the book down to wipe away my tears. I just loved this group of kids so much.
*spoilers*
I was immediately rooting for Casey and her snarky, silly, sweet personality along with Hayden and his loving, anxious, friendly vibes. The representation in this book is top notch and so lovely to see! Every supporting character is so fleshed out and has a part in the story.
One of my absolute favorite parts of this book is the focus on friendships. Casey is determined not to make any friends because she is moving in a year, but she ends up with a group that becomes her home.
When Paz, Cesar, Hayden, and Lena stand up for Casey, I cried. When Cesar held Hayden during his anxiety attack, I cried harder. I teared up so many times from the genuine love and care in this friendship group. I wanted to hug every single one of them.
I absolutely adored the subplot of Cesar and Casey’s sweet romance and how they judged each other wrong. When they start to understand each other, it’s done so incredibly well!
Hayden and Casey’s friendship is so strong and beautiful. I LOVED how well they understood each other and how Hayden was determined to overcome his fears and work through his anxiety because he felt stronger with Casey. I love that Casey trusted her songs with Hayden.
Honestly, you should absolutely pick up this book. Home is your people. Found family is everything. Platonic love is just as valid as romantic love.
i’ve read this book multiple times. it’s so poignant, tender, and hopeful all at once—truly one of the best young adult contemporaries i’ve ever read. 5/5 stars
The Loudest Silence is a book that I adored from cover to cover. It's a multi-faceted debut about ableism, friendship, and facing our fears. For Casey, the ableism she faces - and faced when she first lost her hearing - has proven to her that she doesn't need the hassle of friends. She would never tell them about her hearing loss considering her last friends. And for Hayden he feels crushed under the weight of family legacy and fighting against his desire to quit the team and sing. So when Casey and Hayden first meet, they have to figure out how to be vulnerable, honest, and learn to lean on each other.
Reading The Loudest Silence was a joyous reminder of just how special the YA contemporary genre can be. This was warm, inclusive, affirming and so beautifully hopeful. (It also fed my high school musical loving soul in all the best ways, which was added to the happy, floaty feeling this book gave me.)
what to expect:
• aroace cuban-american mmc with anxiety and big time troy bolton energy • bi deaf hard of hearing fmc • queer side characters • found family • hate-to-love • musical theatre
Compelling YA about two queer, disabled high school students who become unlikely best friends. Parts felt a little heavy handed but I still cried at the climax, when they’re triumphantly singing together.
Casey identifies as bi. Hayden is aro-ace, according to the author, although he doesn’t use those terms in the book. Casey has a low key romance with another student but the focus of the story is on Casey and Hayden’s friendship.
This reminded me of the YA fiction I grew up reading in the 80s, specifically what my mom and I referred to as "teen problem novels."
4.5⭐️ rep: asexual MC, bisexual MC, anxiety(GAD), deaf/hard of hearing
I’ve been super excited to read this, and it didn’t disappoint! This was such a great diverse YA contemporary-I loved the representation and found family! I’m looking forward to reading whatever Sydney does in the future!
“You’re a fighter. But sometimes, you fight the wrong person.” “You?” “Well yes. But I meant yourself.”
The Loudest Silence focuses on Casey, who has recently become Deaf-Hard of Hearing, as she tries to hide her hearing loss from her new school friends. One of her new friends, Hayden, is also hiding who he truly is. Although his family expects him to be a football player, he dreams of singing and playing music. If he can overcome all the anxious feelings inside him that is.
What I really enjoyed about this book was getting to see the thoughts of the characters. Both Casey and Hayden had so many feelings and complicated emotions. I also really liked to see how they slowly opened up to each other, especially through music. Both Casey and Hayden loved singing and it was great to see them find their way into doing what they loved. The main focus in this story is on platonic love and friendship which is always a win for me. The tiny romantic plot was also super cute.
This book gave a lot of insight into what it is like to be Deaf-Hard of Hearing. There was focus on ASL classes and people acting certain ways about which signs were “the correct ones”. We also got to see what it is like going to school and other loud places while trying to pick up what’s being said.
Overall, this was an enjoyable read that centers around two queer teens and a wholesome friend group. I absolutely recommend picking this one up. I will definitely be picking up more books from this author.
I adored this book! It was such a sweet read that celebrates friendship and belonging. Casey and Hayden both have their own challenges that they are navigating, and they end up becoming such good friends. Their friendship was so cute, and I love how they bonded over music. This is a platonic love story that I loved and would recommend to anyone looking for more platonic love stories!
I loved the cast of characters! Found family is one of my favorite tropes, and you can see how much they all cared about each other, even if it didn’t always seem like it (Casey has her walls up at first with the group, and César doesn’t seem the nicest at first, but they all do end up caring for each other). Also, a shout out to Paz, who was so funny and loyal, and Lela, who’s so real for wanting to know everything and was so kind to Casey when she first moved to town!
I really loved all the rep in this book as well. Casey is Deaf-Hard of Hearing, Hayden has anxiety, and there are several queer characters. Hayden handling his anxiety and the conversations he had about it, as well as the process of grief that Casey was going through, really resonated with me.
Overall, I really enjoyed this book and am so grateful that I won the ARC for it in an Instagram giveaway! I give it 5 stars!
This was absolutely delightful! I’ve been excited to read this for a while, but I did not expect to love it as much as I did.
This book had a great premise, and I am always looking for own-stories novels with disability representation so it seemed pretty great. The writing was excellent, the characters very real and relatable, while also so sweet and lovable. It also had some really strong supporting characters which was wonderful.
What I probably loved the most, however, was that the two main characters have such a beautiful and supportive friendship that didn’t need to turn romantic to be meaningful. You could tell that the two really loved each other and valued their relationship.
Other than that, the author did a great job writing complicated family dynamics and pressure, the way grief can present in different ways in our lives, and of course, the disability representation was excellent, especially when it came to examining topics of accessibility and inclusion.
Overall, stunning book, and I recommend this to pretty much anyone.
This book is transformative, and I’m so grateful Sydney wrote it. This is the book I needed in high school. Reading The Loudest Silence has made this Deaf person feel seen on a level I’ve never experienced with any other book. For the first time, I got to see a Deaf protagonist be, not only the hero, but the love interest. That is HUGE! In high school, I was treated as “less” when people saw my hearing aids. Boys did not want to date me, and some of the girls mocked me for not being able to hear (which, for a teenager, felt all-consuming and just frigging awful.) I’m so grateful for The Loudest Silence, and Sydney Langford, for flipping the script, and showing Deaf beauty. It allows young HoH and Deaf people a space where they can be seen and understood and appreciated. More than that it gives them hope - that there are people out there who will love them just as they are. Can’t recommend this beautiful book enough!!
This book is everything to me! OMG all of my favorite tropes and movies and references are in this.
As someone who is hard of hearing, asexual, and disabled this hits right at home.
The characters are unique and nothing like early 2000s Disney characters. There’s a lot of references to old shows and celebrities that adolescents might recognize. There’s a therapy pet. And there’s an awesome friend group. It really feels like a Disney dcom written in 2024 with music and queer platonic characters.
Also, I was screaming and jumping of joy every time music was mentioned or an award or even a music publication. I am a music journalist and believe that teens don’t have to follow the academic stem route their parents want. Creative arts is a career and this book is a perfect example.
Lastly, I really loved how Sydney touched on GAD. A lot of high schoolers have it and they just don’t know it.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
I am not the best person to say this, but I am so happy with this representation. I am not Deaf/Hard of Hearing but I do have GAD. This book also had LGBTQ+ representation, like genuinely so much inclusion it makes my heart so happy. This is largely based off the authors own experience so I believe it to be pretty accurate in its representation, but I’m curious to see what others say who are more qualified than me. I really enjoyed the importance of platonic love in this book. I feel I will definitely be reading this again and I feel so WARM and HAPPY! REPRESENTATION MATTERS!!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
This could easily have been a delightful one sitting read, but the real world had other plans for me.
It's a lighthearted, heartfelt YA story of friendship and belonging. I am not d/Deaf or HOH, but could really relate to friends who don't know how to put in the work to accommodate your changing health needs and how hard it is to expect new people to be different. The story covers some deep topics (disability, performative allyship, anxiety, familial expectations) without ever feeling too heavy.
Wow! I had the honor of reading an early copy of The Loudest Silence and it blew me away! Such a powerful, moving story that effortlessly weaves in hilarious banter and education about disabled perspectives.
Sydney Langford is an up-and-coming author I highly recommend keeping an eye on because they have a real talent for witty writing and captivating storytelling.