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Conversations with Monsters
How does autistic trauma really feel, and how can you find your way through it to a warmer, brighter place?
Written by best-selling author Charlotte Amelia Poe this is a poignant and whimsical exploration of the true autistic experience. Chapter-by-chapter, Poe delicately peels back the layers of what it is to be young and autistic in the modern world, touching on trauma, grief, mortality, love and everything in between.
Charming, thought-provoking and often very funny, this book doesn't offer solutions - it walks next to you, like a friend, through times both dark and light. It reminds you every step that you're not alone.
Written by best-selling author Charlotte Amelia Poe this is a poignant and whimsical exploration of the true autistic experience. Chapter-by-chapter, Poe delicately peels back the layers of what it is to be young and autistic in the modern world, touching on trauma, grief, mortality, love and everything in between.
Charming, thought-provoking and often very funny, this book doesn't offer solutions - it walks next to you, like a friend, through times both dark and light. It reminds you every step that you're not alone.
176 pages, Paperback
Published June 21, 2024
4 people are currently reading
121 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews
July 4, 2024
How to Continue to be Autistic
Review of the NetGalley eBook ARC downloaded July 2, 2024 of the Jessica Kingsley Publishing paperback / eBook released June 21, 2024.
I found the author's first memoir to be both a shocking, revealing and ultimately uplifting reading experience. I'm not quite neurotypical myself, as I do have various compulsive and obsessive traits and am prone to introversion. So I'm sort of spectrum adjacent say. That makes books related to neurodivergence of interest to me, even when they may be scary when I recognize certain patterns in my own life.
Conversations with Monsters is both a further memoir, but is mostly an extended essay which is summarized in its subtitle as "On mortality, creativity and neurodivergent survival." It documents Poe's life particularly after her publication of the first memoir, her gradual experience of getting out more in the world due to the book's success and then the subsequent shutdown and retreat in the COVID lockdown era. The book is primarily written in the leadup to Christmas 2022, so is not quite up to date.
It is difficult reading at times, with Poe's despair of losing her audience during the pandemic and the abandoning of several books in the process. But if you look at the several books of stories and poems that have been published since that time i.e. 2023 onwards, there has certainly been a turnaround. And relax, there is love (particularly of her supportive family and friends) and humour as well with Poe's characteristic asides:
I enjoyed this further non-fiction memoir / essay by Poe and hope that they continue providing readers with stories of their progress in life and as a writer.
My thanks to author Charlotte Amelia Poe, Jessica Kingsley Publishing and NetGalley for the opportunity to read this preview ARC, in exchange for which I provide this honest review.
Soundtrack
Phoebe Bridgers is a current favourite singer/songwriter of author Charlotte Amelia Poe in this book, so here is a set from a 2018 performance at the KEXP radio studio which you can watch on YouTube here.
Trivia and Links
This book provides a short listing of books of related interest which are:
We're All Neurodiverse (November 21, 2023) by Sonny Jane Wise, Jessica Kingsley Publishers.
Looking After Your Autistic Self: A Personalised Self-Care Approach to Managing Your Sensory and Emotional Well-Being (March 21, 2023) by Niamh Garvey, Jessica Kingsley Publishers.
So, I'm Autistic: An Introduction to Autism for Young Adults and Late Teens (June 21, 2023) by Sarah O'Brien, Jessica Kingsley Publishers.
Jessica Kingsley Publishers has a further extensive list of books categorized as All Autism and Neurodiversity which you can see listed at their website here.
Review of the NetGalley eBook ARC downloaded July 2, 2024 of the Jessica Kingsley Publishing paperback / eBook released June 21, 2024.
I wrote my life out in short little chapters and I called it How to Be Autistic, and I never read it again, because I had peeled my skin and shown you the delicate organs inside, and that was scary. Sometimes, late at night, I like to think about how many copies of that book I have sold, and then I can really freak myself out.
I found the author's first memoir to be both a shocking, revealing and ultimately uplifting reading experience. I'm not quite neurotypical myself, as I do have various compulsive and obsessive traits and am prone to introversion. So I'm sort of spectrum adjacent say. That makes books related to neurodivergence of interest to me, even when they may be scary when I recognize certain patterns in my own life.
Conversations with Monsters is both a further memoir, but is mostly an extended essay which is summarized in its subtitle as "On mortality, creativity and neurodivergent survival." It documents Poe's life particularly after her publication of the first memoir, her gradual experience of getting out more in the world due to the book's success and then the subsequent shutdown and retreat in the COVID lockdown era. The book is primarily written in the leadup to Christmas 2022, so is not quite up to date.
It is difficult reading at times, with Poe's despair of losing her audience during the pandemic and the abandoning of several books in the process. But if you look at the several books of stories and poems that have been published since that time i.e. 2023 onwards, there has certainly been a turnaround. And relax, there is love (particularly of her supportive family and friends) and humour as well with Poe's characteristic asides:
I do not remember where this name came from, except that I stole my surname from ol' Edgar Allan, because I wanted to imagine one of my books sitting beside his one day. I admit I did not understand book categorization, I have yet to write anything even remotely similar to his works, and I doubt I ever will, but it was a nice dream, and a little bit of motivation when I needed it most.
I enjoyed this further non-fiction memoir / essay by Poe and hope that they continue providing readers with stories of their progress in life and as a writer.
My thanks to author Charlotte Amelia Poe, Jessica Kingsley Publishing and NetGalley for the opportunity to read this preview ARC, in exchange for which I provide this honest review.
Soundtrack
Phoebe Bridgers is a current favourite singer/songwriter of author Charlotte Amelia Poe in this book, so here is a set from a 2018 performance at the KEXP radio studio which you can watch on YouTube here.
Trivia and Links
This book provides a short listing of books of related interest which are:
We're All Neurodiverse (November 21, 2023) by Sonny Jane Wise, Jessica Kingsley Publishers.
Looking After Your Autistic Self: A Personalised Self-Care Approach to Managing Your Sensory and Emotional Well-Being (March 21, 2023) by Niamh Garvey, Jessica Kingsley Publishers.
So, I'm Autistic: An Introduction to Autism for Young Adults and Late Teens (June 21, 2023) by Sarah O'Brien, Jessica Kingsley Publishers.
Jessica Kingsley Publishers has a further extensive list of books categorized as All Autism and Neurodiversity which you can see listed at their website here.
June 2, 2024
Briefly - a really hard book to review but That is not a negative - some of it is really beautiful and I don't remember writing down so many phrases from any other books I've read.
In full
Charlotte Amelia Poe is neurodiverse or autistic. This is a book about the way they feel. It is addressed to the reader however it really is deeply personal. As well as dialogue with the reader there are internal ponderings. I find this one of the hardest books to review that I have ever read. I must stress that this is not because it's bad but because I feel I lack the ability to comment in many ways.
Some of the writing here is stunning. It's powerful and poetic at times. It is an insight in to one person's experiences with neurodiversity in their life so far. I'm not sure it left me thinking that things were the way they could be in our dealings with neurodivergent people.
Parts of this I found very telling and/or interesting. One was the line that effectively said that the "spectrum" of autism is actually imposed by neurotypical people. Reflecting on it I think this is almost certainly true and equally certainly wrong. The idea that London was OK as it guaranteed anonymity was very interesting. I do wonder how many other autistic people would feel like this however that simply emphasises the diversity of neurodiversity!
The line that "if we liked ourselves, nobody would have anything to sell us" resonated with me in some ways. Mental health services asking if there was anything more they could do having done nothing was sadly very telling.
If I have a complaint about this it would be that it felt like it rambled a bit. In practice as a stream of consciousness writing that is fine for the writer however it might not work as well for some readers possibly. I found the writing very philosophical, and to me, meaningful at times.
I'll leave some of the author's words (if paraphrased a bit by me) as a positive ending - they were words that impressed me. Tell other autistic people it's OK to be autistic and you can't change the past, but you can change the future. Thanks Charlotte for a lovely book.
Note - I received an advance digital copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for a fair review
In full
Charlotte Amelia Poe is neurodiverse or autistic. This is a book about the way they feel. It is addressed to the reader however it really is deeply personal. As well as dialogue with the reader there are internal ponderings. I find this one of the hardest books to review that I have ever read. I must stress that this is not because it's bad but because I feel I lack the ability to comment in many ways.
Some of the writing here is stunning. It's powerful and poetic at times. It is an insight in to one person's experiences with neurodiversity in their life so far. I'm not sure it left me thinking that things were the way they could be in our dealings with neurodivergent people.
Parts of this I found very telling and/or interesting. One was the line that effectively said that the "spectrum" of autism is actually imposed by neurotypical people. Reflecting on it I think this is almost certainly true and equally certainly wrong. The idea that London was OK as it guaranteed anonymity was very interesting. I do wonder how many other autistic people would feel like this however that simply emphasises the diversity of neurodiversity!
The line that "if we liked ourselves, nobody would have anything to sell us" resonated with me in some ways. Mental health services asking if there was anything more they could do having done nothing was sadly very telling.
If I have a complaint about this it would be that it felt like it rambled a bit. In practice as a stream of consciousness writing that is fine for the writer however it might not work as well for some readers possibly. I found the writing very philosophical, and to me, meaningful at times.
I'll leave some of the author's words (if paraphrased a bit by me) as a positive ending - they were words that impressed me. Tell other autistic people it's OK to be autistic and you can't change the past, but you can change the future. Thanks Charlotte for a lovely book.
Note - I received an advance digital copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for a fair review
May 23, 2024
Felt, seen, heard.
As an autistic woman diagnosed later in life, that’s what this book made me feel. Sure our experiences weren’t identical, but we coexist in the same space. Things rang true and felt real. There is solidarity and telling our stories.
As an autistic woman diagnosed later in life, that’s what this book made me feel. Sure our experiences weren’t identical, but we coexist in the same space. Things rang true and felt real. There is solidarity and telling our stories.
June 21, 2024
A raw, honest look at life in the aftermath of their last viral hit book about autism and their continued struggles with anxiety, depression and being neurodivergent, especially in the aftermath of the pandemic. Great on audio and highly recommended for anyone looking to see themselves through the life of a fellow autistic writer/person. Many thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an early digital copy in exchange for my honest review!
May 21, 2024
Thank you Netgalley for providing this ARC.
Conversations With Monsters feels like a love letter to every struggling artist who's ever been called "different." It feels like a friend sitting down with you and holding your hand. As my first creative non-fiction read, I found Conversations With Monsters a delightful read that I devoured in less than an hour. As a twenty-year-old writer struggling with anxiety, depression, and finding my place in the world as a neurodivergent person, every page of Poe's book had me pointing at paragraphs that described my experience in such an innate way. I genuinely believe this is one of my most annotated books- both because I adore Poe's writing style and because I felt so incredibly seen. This book almost felt like reading back my own experiences, especially when Poe discusses how they would delete their anxiety and struggle with maths in a moment, but not their autism. And I sat up straight in my seat and pointed at the page because you get it!! You get it!! (Hard agree on removing the struggle with maths, because I have been grappling with my dyscalculia longer than I can remember. The same goes for the anxiety, I'm tired of having social interactions feeling sick to my stomach.)
Conversations With Monsters is a quintessential read in my not-so-humble opinion. Like you must read it. I demand you read it. Because I'm simply going to be thinking about this book forever now. This was one of the easiest 5 star-ratings I've given to a book. From its lyrical prose to its neurodivergent-friendly structure, Conversations With Monsters is a welcoming exploration of love, grief, and autism.
Conversations With Monsters feels like a love letter to every struggling artist who's ever been called "different." It feels like a friend sitting down with you and holding your hand. As my first creative non-fiction read, I found Conversations With Monsters a delightful read that I devoured in less than an hour. As a twenty-year-old writer struggling with anxiety, depression, and finding my place in the world as a neurodivergent person, every page of Poe's book had me pointing at paragraphs that described my experience in such an innate way. I genuinely believe this is one of my most annotated books- both because I adore Poe's writing style and because I felt so incredibly seen. This book almost felt like reading back my own experiences, especially when Poe discusses how they would delete their anxiety and struggle with maths in a moment, but not their autism. And I sat up straight in my seat and pointed at the page because you get it!! You get it!! (Hard agree on removing the struggle with maths, because I have been grappling with my dyscalculia longer than I can remember. The same goes for the anxiety, I'm tired of having social interactions feeling sick to my stomach.)
Conversations With Monsters is a quintessential read in my not-so-humble opinion. Like you must read it. I demand you read it. Because I'm simply going to be thinking about this book forever now. This was one of the easiest 5 star-ratings I've given to a book. From its lyrical prose to its neurodivergent-friendly structure, Conversations With Monsters is a welcoming exploration of love, grief, and autism.
July 4, 2024
“It is easier, maybe, to be misunderstood than to find the words, over and over again, to explain the very existence that is me”
An autistic mind in metaphor. It is personal, deep, quirky, thought provoking and oh so relatable! I recognise the monster and totally “got” where the author was coming from. Highlighting not just autistic struggles, but those of anxiety and depression as well, we really get an insight on how difficult it can be to be neurodiverse in the modern world.
I also enjoyed the poetry interludes, the author is certainly a very talented and creative writer. I hadn’t heard of their other book “How To Be Autistic”, but I’m definitely adding to my TBR.
I just want to add - I see you and I believe in you ♡
Many thanks to NetGalley and Jessica Kingsley Publishers for my advanced copy.
An autistic mind in metaphor. It is personal, deep, quirky, thought provoking and oh so relatable! I recognise the monster and totally “got” where the author was coming from. Highlighting not just autistic struggles, but those of anxiety and depression as well, we really get an insight on how difficult it can be to be neurodiverse in the modern world.
I also enjoyed the poetry interludes, the author is certainly a very talented and creative writer. I hadn’t heard of their other book “How To Be Autistic”, but I’m definitely adding to my TBR.
I just want to add - I see you and I believe in you ♡
Many thanks to NetGalley and Jessica Kingsley Publishers for my advanced copy.
May 20, 2024
As an autistic person, I found this relatable. I'm glad the author did not shy away from all the downsides of autism. It was reassuring to see that I'm not alone.
My biggest criticism is that it lacks structure. The text went from one topic to the next and it found it difficult to keep up. I do like the interludes with poems that relate to the subject matter in between. They are a nice change of pace.
Thank you NetGalley and Jessica Kingsley Publishers for giving me access to this book for review consideration. All opinions are my own.
My biggest criticism is that it lacks structure. The text went from one topic to the next and it found it difficult to keep up. I do like the interludes with poems that relate to the subject matter in between. They are a nice change of pace.
Thank you NetGalley and Jessica Kingsley Publishers for giving me access to this book for review consideration. All opinions are my own.
November 1, 2024
Charlotte Amelia Poe has a gift for capturing specific moments with a universal, poetic quality. Her writing truly shines when she draws from her own experiences and offers insights into society’s expectations of neurodivergent individuals, creating powerful comparisons and resonant metaphors that many readers can connect with. However, the book falters in sections where the tone shifts from wholesome and comforting to overly repetitive and pointed. Poe herself noted how much she enjoyed writing this book and watching the word count grow, fulfilling a long-standing desire to share this representation. While I’m grateful for such authentic portrayal from someone with lived experience, I wish the narrative had remained more focused and cohesive, especially given its concise length of under 200 pages.
“I think a lot about monsters, about how they are shaped, how they growl with sharp tooth and claw, and how they are feared rather than afraid. It is difficult to love a monster, and as I look in the mirror, my faceblindness offering me newness at every glance, I see a certain kind of monster, and I wonder who first applied the label, and when it started to fit so well”
“The dead cannot speak for themselves, so I will speak perhaps more kindly than they deserve. I have found when putting words down on paper, you must err on the side of kindness with what you immortalize. Be kinder than you need to be, perhaps. So I shall.”
“A true monster would wrap itself up in all of this hatred and grow stronger because of it. I think that’s what makes the idea of a monster such a difficult metaphor to work with. If you love a monster, it is no longer a monster. If you enjoy being haunted, are you still being haunted? ”
“Does the inhumane make the inhuman? Did my trauma make me into something new, and if so, does that make me evil, or does it make me a survivor? Are all monsters just trying to survive, in their way, running from the silver bullets that poison and burn just as readily as words and the passive inaction that frustrates and can never be reasonably explained?”
“I think a lot about monsters, about how they are shaped, how they growl with sharp tooth and claw, and how they are feared rather than afraid. It is difficult to love a monster, and as I look in the mirror, my faceblindness offering me newness at every glance, I see a certain kind of monster, and I wonder who first applied the label, and when it started to fit so well”
“The dead cannot speak for themselves, so I will speak perhaps more kindly than they deserve. I have found when putting words down on paper, you must err on the side of kindness with what you immortalize. Be kinder than you need to be, perhaps. So I shall.”
“A true monster would wrap itself up in all of this hatred and grow stronger because of it. I think that’s what makes the idea of a monster such a difficult metaphor to work with. If you love a monster, it is no longer a monster. If you enjoy being haunted, are you still being haunted? ”
“Does the inhumane make the inhuman? Did my trauma make me into something new, and if so, does that make me evil, or does it make me a survivor? Are all monsters just trying to survive, in their way, running from the silver bullets that poison and burn just as readily as words and the passive inaction that frustrates and can never be reasonably explained?”
May 2, 2025
I feel like an absolute fucking monster? Kind of? for writing a real review of this piece of work because the author is intellectually disabled and apparently mega suicidal, but
Oh my God, someone PLEASE get this author some therapy and some medication for their EXTREME anxiety and self-loathing. This book has NOTHING to do with autism. Anxiety is not autism. I am a late-diagnosed autistic woman who is verrry autistic with all of the social confusions and the meltdowns and everything and struggled to understand myself and had a pretty stupid and demoralizing life up till I learned what was "wrong" with me. Getting a proper diagnosis had me going through the grief cycle but then laughing because I didn't actually have depression or anxiety or anything like that (it never seemed right to me anyway) I was just a different type of humanoid, like you would see on Star Trek or something! And surrounded by jerks! What a relief, I could adapt to the truth of my reality. And I can work through my trauma with a therapist.
Anyway, this is one of the most exhausting things I've ever read. I'm really angry at everyone in this author's life who has allowed them to struggle in this way. I hope the author has got some Xanax now and some friends. I worry that this book really is a representation of the chronically online self-diagnosed autistic community of young people. I haven't read the author's first book about being autistic but I think I will look into it to see if there is anything there.
I have never felt so sad for an author before, I guess because writing that makes a person that way doesn't usually get published into books, and stays on blogs.
Damn. Jesus fucking Christ.
But then, at the end of this book, the author says that they like to be offensive and edgy and whatever? And then gripe they can't get friends? My God. It feels like something written by a 7th grade Slipknot fan. I have never ever in my life working with autistic people and being one myself met an autistic person who wants to be repulsive to others. There is really some other issue going on here. I hope for the sake of the author it's just a developmental phase.
While I'm here I'd like to suggest a book that helped me out a lot especially during the transition of learning my whole life had been confusing because I didn't know I was autistic: The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy by Steph Jones
Don't give in to the darkness!!!!
Charlotte, if you're reading this, I have some writing advice for you, since you talk so much about how bad you are at writing and how you wish you could get better at it: Cut out everything that is self-deprecation. Remove the personal reflection and over analysis and criticism of yourself from your writing. I know maybe you're wondering "well then how can I write something autobiographical?" but believe me, you can! You are saying such horrible negative things about yourself in every paragraph of this book sometimes it makes up the entire paragraph, or the entire PAGE! and you're going to say no I can't stop because I'm traumatized and I'm autistic blah blah blah. but that's a fucking excuse. YOU CAN DO IT. The people reading this book just feel really sorry for you and then that makes you feel worse and it makes them feel bad and it just makes everything very sad. Best of luck to you and I hope that you got a lot of money from this book because I know it's very hard to get money especially when you are having extreme problems.
Oh my God, someone PLEASE get this author some therapy and some medication for their EXTREME anxiety and self-loathing. This book has NOTHING to do with autism. Anxiety is not autism. I am a late-diagnosed autistic woman who is verrry autistic with all of the social confusions and the meltdowns and everything and struggled to understand myself and had a pretty stupid and demoralizing life up till I learned what was "wrong" with me. Getting a proper diagnosis had me going through the grief cycle but then laughing because I didn't actually have depression or anxiety or anything like that (it never seemed right to me anyway) I was just a different type of humanoid, like you would see on Star Trek or something! And surrounded by jerks! What a relief, I could adapt to the truth of my reality. And I can work through my trauma with a therapist.
Anyway, this is one of the most exhausting things I've ever read. I'm really angry at everyone in this author's life who has allowed them to struggle in this way. I hope the author has got some Xanax now and some friends. I worry that this book really is a representation of the chronically online self-diagnosed autistic community of young people. I haven't read the author's first book about being autistic but I think I will look into it to see if there is anything there.
I have never felt so sad for an author before, I guess because writing that makes a person that way doesn't usually get published into books, and stays on blogs.
Damn. Jesus fucking Christ.
But then, at the end of this book, the author says that they like to be offensive and edgy and whatever? And then gripe they can't get friends? My God. It feels like something written by a 7th grade Slipknot fan. I have never ever in my life working with autistic people and being one myself met an autistic person who wants to be repulsive to others. There is really some other issue going on here. I hope for the sake of the author it's just a developmental phase.
While I'm here I'd like to suggest a book that helped me out a lot especially during the transition of learning my whole life had been confusing because I didn't know I was autistic: The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy by Steph Jones
Don't give in to the darkness!!!!
Charlotte, if you're reading this, I have some writing advice for you, since you talk so much about how bad you are at writing and how you wish you could get better at it: Cut out everything that is self-deprecation. Remove the personal reflection and over analysis and criticism of yourself from your writing. I know maybe you're wondering "well then how can I write something autobiographical?" but believe me, you can! You are saying such horrible negative things about yourself in every paragraph of this book sometimes it makes up the entire paragraph, or the entire PAGE! and you're going to say no I can't stop because I'm traumatized and I'm autistic blah blah blah. but that's a fucking excuse. YOU CAN DO IT. The people reading this book just feel really sorry for you and then that makes you feel worse and it makes them feel bad and it just makes everything very sad. Best of luck to you and I hope that you got a lot of money from this book because I know it's very hard to get money especially when you are having extreme problems.
August 7, 2024
Hard to critique this book as it is very much just a record of someone’s response to their own context as a neurodivergent person in the wake of a successful previous book. Quite a lot of profound quotes available to be plucked out of this one.
Read
October 17, 2024""It seems for the world that we are either 'Too Autistic' or 'Not Autistic Enough'. Like there exists only a binary and not a spectrum""--Charlotte Amelia Poe
Earnest, intense, raw, fierce essays from a gifted author. Her essays read like the talks and soliloquies of characters in John Green novels. They cause one to reflect. Highly recommend
Earnest, intense, raw, fierce essays from a gifted author. Her essays read like the talks and soliloquies of characters in John Green novels. They cause one to reflect. Highly recommend
August 5, 2025
I enjoyed the writing very much, and it felt very poetic and stunning.
May 29, 2024
Title: Conversations with Monsters: On Mortality, Creativity, And Neurodivergent Survival
Author: Charlotte Amelia Poe
Genres: Biographies & Memoirs | Health, Mind & Body | Nonfiction (Adult)
Pub Date: 21 Jun 2024
Pages: 176
ISBN: 9781805010999
Format Read: EPUB
Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐⭐⭐
This book gave me chills - in the best possible way. It's been a long time since I've felt so personally seen, and isn't that the irony: like the meme goes, has anyone ever had an original experience? But for those of us whose experience of the world and of those we share it with is rarely portrayed, those moments of being perceived are a sort of lifeline that's hard to describe.
Let me take a step back, or sideways: this book is ostensibly a memoir, but reads more (like the title infers) a series of one-sided (but not at all isolating) conversations with the author or, perhaps, a series of stream-of-consciousness monologues, interspersed with poetry, corralled into a metaphorical walk together through what it feels like to live in the world as an autistic person.
Throughout, I felt echoes of my own experiences (as an autistic/AuDHD person) that were sometimes nearly identical, at other times more removed - but at all times I felt kinship & familiarity. At no point did I feel alienated. The author's honesty shines through, like voice messages in text, like sitting with a friend who didn't need you to do anything performative - just to be.
There are heavy themes here - depression & PTSD & anxiety, that trifecta all neurodivergents know all too well - and descriptions of the feelings (if not the graphic details or any specific imagery) of wanting to not be alive. These are always drawn back up to the surface, to a message that inexorably urges us to keep being, to keep living, to keep creating. But the weight is there, and while I never felt unsettled or destabilised, I'd urge anyone who feels their mood shift or slip to skip ahead, or take a break, for their own wellbeing.
I want to be very clear that this isn't a depressing book by any means, though I wouldn't call it light reading. It is what it is: a window into what it feels like to be neurodivergent in a world that's often too much, surrounded by societal pressures & expectations, with often zero external support or even understanding.
There is hope here, and beauty, and all the things that I'm struggling to find non-pat words for; there is a mutual understanding, and a validation, and the relief of not being alone.
It's been a staggeringly long time since something I've read has burrowed into me like this, and if you're neurodivergent, or know & love someone who is, please read this. You'll gain another level of understanding - another sliver of 'in the shoes of' - that can be so hard for most (if not all) of us to articulate.
Utterly brilliant.
Thank you to Jessica Kingsley Publishers & NetGalley for providing access to
this eARC for consideration of review. All opinions are my own honest & unbiased feedback based on the copy provided.
#ConversationswithMonsters #NetGalley
Author: Charlotte Amelia Poe
Genres: Biographies & Memoirs | Health, Mind & Body | Nonfiction (Adult)
Pub Date: 21 Jun 2024
Pages: 176
ISBN: 9781805010999
Format Read: EPUB
Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐⭐⭐
This book gave me chills - in the best possible way. It's been a long time since I've felt so personally seen, and isn't that the irony: like the meme goes, has anyone ever had an original experience? But for those of us whose experience of the world and of those we share it with is rarely portrayed, those moments of being perceived are a sort of lifeline that's hard to describe.
Let me take a step back, or sideways: this book is ostensibly a memoir, but reads more (like the title infers) a series of one-sided (but not at all isolating) conversations with the author or, perhaps, a series of stream-of-consciousness monologues, interspersed with poetry, corralled into a metaphorical walk together through what it feels like to live in the world as an autistic person.
Throughout, I felt echoes of my own experiences (as an autistic/AuDHD person) that were sometimes nearly identical, at other times more removed - but at all times I felt kinship & familiarity. At no point did I feel alienated. The author's honesty shines through, like voice messages in text, like sitting with a friend who didn't need you to do anything performative - just to be.
There are heavy themes here - depression & PTSD & anxiety, that trifecta all neurodivergents know all too well - and descriptions of the feelings (if not the graphic details or any specific imagery) of wanting to not be alive. These are always drawn back up to the surface, to a message that inexorably urges us to keep being, to keep living, to keep creating. But the weight is there, and while I never felt unsettled or destabilised, I'd urge anyone who feels their mood shift or slip to skip ahead, or take a break, for their own wellbeing.
I want to be very clear that this isn't a depressing book by any means, though I wouldn't call it light reading. It is what it is: a window into what it feels like to be neurodivergent in a world that's often too much, surrounded by societal pressures & expectations, with often zero external support or even understanding.
There is hope here, and beauty, and all the things that I'm struggling to find non-pat words for; there is a mutual understanding, and a validation, and the relief of not being alone.
It's been a staggeringly long time since something I've read has burrowed into me like this, and if you're neurodivergent, or know & love someone who is, please read this. You'll gain another level of understanding - another sliver of 'in the shoes of' - that can be so hard for most (if not all) of us to articulate.
Utterly brilliant.
Thank you to Jessica Kingsley Publishers & NetGalley for providing access to
this eARC for consideration of review. All opinions are my own honest & unbiased feedback based on the copy provided.
#ConversationswithMonsters #NetGalley
January 15, 2025
A beautifully written, albeit maybe a bit /too/ abstract at times, exploration of the back and forth feelings of embracing the monster. As an autist, it's unbelievably cathartic to be able to read Conversations with Monsters and feel seen in such an artistic way. Relating with metaphor as opposed to getting sucked into clinical terminology that fills a lot of my other neurodiverse readings. Poe is skilled, and, even better, so emotionally sensitive to the contradictories of the autistic experience. The urge to seek more, but needing the routine to be able to bare it, making it a constant tight-rope experience. Stay comfortable? You won't stay comfortable for long. You need the world. Venture out? It'll be exciting, and overwhelming, and you'll go back indoors eventually covered in scars from the journey. I love Poe's encouragement that it's all worth it, even when it's hard. I don't think this book is for everyone, but it was definitely for me.
September 6, 2024
“The online world, particularly, lacks nuance, lacks the cadence of spoken language, and so we lose the empathy that comes with it. We are often not our best selves. We can be reactionary, we can be quick to judge. So much money depends on us engaging with people we disagree with. Our two-minute hate has been monetized. We forget how to be soft.”
August 24, 2024
So different to any other book I've read about what it's like to be autistic. An insight into the confusion, contradiction and darkness going on inside Charlotte's head. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
September 6, 2024
How can you write a review of what is essentially someone's writing about their own neurodivergent experience's after writing a successful book. There are lots of beautiful quotes in this but i found it too disjointed to really feel anything about.
April 12, 2025
Lots of touching, beautiful poetry and prose. Also a lot of naïveté, complaining about a life not lived, largely through choice. As for the want to scream, go find a basement show - the people there will surprise you.
July 15, 2024
Thank you to NetGalley and especially Jessica Kingsley Publishers for a review copy of this book.
This is book is not a novel. It is a love letter, diary, essay, manifesto, a cry out into the night. It reads like a young persons frenetic thoughts unleashed upon the unsuspecting and unprepared page. Maybe that makes it sound like a rant or juvenile. It is not. It is well written. Candid. Intimate. Vulnerable.
The author shares many of their thoughts, dreams, and fears with the reader. Their experience being (Autistic | a person with Autism). The target audience for the book is other neurodiverse people. But it is also an out-stretched hand to neurotypical people who want to better understand what Autism is like to live with, and what implicit assumptions we hold that affect the way we treat and think about people in our society.
This is book is not a novel. It is a love letter, diary, essay, manifesto, a cry out into the night. It reads like a young persons frenetic thoughts unleashed upon the unsuspecting and unprepared page. Maybe that makes it sound like a rant or juvenile. It is not. It is well written. Candid. Intimate. Vulnerable.
The author shares many of their thoughts, dreams, and fears with the reader. Their experience being (Autistic | a person with Autism). The target audience for the book is other neurodiverse people. But it is also an out-stretched hand to neurotypical people who want to better understand what Autism is like to live with, and what implicit assumptions we hold that affect the way we treat and think about people in our society.
December 3, 2024
just a really good memoir
December 11, 2024
3.5 Youthful angst?
August 11, 2024
Deeply personal, a peek into an internal world that can be difficult to understand for neurotypical folks. Feels like a conversation with the author.
July 16, 2024
A intensely personal memoir, Conversations With Monsters did not feel “whimsical” as identified in the synopsis. It felt like I was the life preserver to someone who was desperately drowning.
Vulnerable, creative, raw and wayward.
Thank you to NetGalley, Author and Publisher for access to a digital ARC. All opinions are my own.
Vulnerable, creative, raw and wayward.
Thank you to NetGalley, Author and Publisher for access to a digital ARC. All opinions are my own.
August 27, 2024
Reading a book that reflects your own mind in so many ways is new to me, but I greatly appreciated this book and I’m happy I read it (I sat for over an hour to read it back to back). Would highly recommend for my fellow autistics who sometimes struggle! Or even struggled in the past like I did as it feels less lonely now.
Update: lowering my rating as I actually feel very neutral to this now? I look at it and think yeah it was impactful for a day but after that I haven’t thought much about it.
Update: lowering my rating as I actually feel very neutral to this now? I look at it and think yeah it was impactful for a day but after that I haven’t thought much about it.
May 22, 2024
This is my new Roman Empire.
I cannot begin to describe the sense of understanding and peace this book has brought me. I could quote a sentence on every page, and scream it from the rooftops. I feel seen! Poe puts to words the thoughts, feelings, and frustrations that have plagued my mind for YEARS. Thank you. From the bottom of my heart.
If you are Autistic, or know and love someone who is Autistic, this is a must read!
Thank you to NetGalley and Jessica Kingsley Publishers for this ARC.
I cannot begin to describe the sense of understanding and peace this book has brought me. I could quote a sentence on every page, and scream it from the rooftops. I feel seen! Poe puts to words the thoughts, feelings, and frustrations that have plagued my mind for YEARS. Thank you. From the bottom of my heart.
If you are Autistic, or know and love someone who is Autistic, this is a must read!
Thank you to NetGalley and Jessica Kingsley Publishers for this ARC.
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