The Every Body Book of Consent: An LGBTQIA-Inclusive Guide to Respecting Boundaries, Bodies, and Beyond

by Rachel E. Simon

We often think about consent in a sexual context, but it actually lies at the heart of our daily life - in interactions with family and friends, and in the respect and empathy we show ourselves and others!

From the bestselling author of The Every Body Book, this lovingly illustrated guide introduces consent in all its many forms - in a way that is inclusive of orientation, neurodiversity, gender identity, faith and ethnicity. Delving into issues of body safety, verbal and nonverbal cues, boundaries, puberty and privacy, the correct terminology for body parts, developing a safe adult support system, and recognizing gut feelings - this will help children build confidence and shame-free knowledge. It will also offer ideas around consent nuances, like power dynamics, intellectual disabilities, pornography, sexism, and transphobia.

With a glossary and further discussion questions - this is the perfect book for young people and their families to explore together.

Genres: Middle Grade, Nonfiction, Childrens, Parenting

69 pages, Hardcover

Published August 21, 2024

Reviews

[Christine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent. Reviews bodily autonomy and consent as general concepts, and teaching consent and boundaries across of variety of situations. The entire book discusses these concepts in a respectful, affirming way, without any feeling of secret or shame that some may have around bodies or sexuality.

It also includes the more anticipated consent situations around physical touch, but focuses on scenarios like kissing or hugging which makes it have a broader appeal and application across ages.
I was glad to see concepts like enthusiastic consent and withdrawing consent discussed, and that consenting once or to one act does not mean consent in the future or to other acts.

It was an excellent touch to Include multiple examples of people declining physical touch and showing respectful responses. I love that we saw examples of MM, MF, FF, FM pairings so we could see how declining and accepting the response can occur across all combinations of relationships.
It was fantastic to have a section on how to respond if someone does not consent (e.g., to kissing, holding hands, etc.) and validate feeling hurt or disappointed without pressuring or shaming the individual who told you no.

Touches briefly on important but less universal consent situations certain populations experience like medical procedures on intersex infants, which further builds understanding of consent.
I appreciated the discussion of verbal consent and nonverbal cues, and how gaining consent may vary between individuals with different methods of communication and some neurodiverse individuals who may not realize nonverbal social cues. Additionally, including a review of violating consent of someone who uses mobility aids like a wheelchair was discussed, which was fantastic.

Incredibly inclusive in the art styles, with individuals of different genders, size, race, disability, cultural clothing, etc. all being shown throughout.

Highly recommend! I’m interested in looking at the other book about bodies from the author as well.
I received a complimentary copy from NetGalley. I am providing my honest review.

[Robyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

ARC | Comprehensive but still light | I'm impressed by the way the author managed to cover so much ground in such a slim volume, showing the full spectrum of ways that consent touches our lives. Overall, I would recommend this for pre-teens, as there is a general "kiddo" vibe to the language that I think many teens would scorn. That said, I think that a teenager who had read this with their adult caregivers when they were younger, and knew that it was still on the shelf for them to go back to as needed, would continue to find value even at older stages. The first chapter ends with suggestions for practice, in a format that indicates that every chapter will end similarly. They don't, that's the only time in the book, which was weird and felt like an editing mistake. Illustrations show bodies of varying sizes, ethnicities, abilities, and gender pairings, in a way that feels realistic, not ticking a box. This can't be the sole consent discussion a child has, as it doesn't dig in deeply anywhere. I think this is a very good introduction to a complex subject, and families will be well served to share it with their pre-teens and then shelve it where the kid can access it later if they feel uncertain about something and want a refresher.

I received this ARC free of charge from the publisher through NetGalley, which did not affect my review.

[Julia✨Book Reviews by Jules✨ · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me with this book for free in exchange for my review! All opinions are my own.

I wish I could give this book more than 5 stars. This is one of the most important books a child should read in todays world. Unfortunately, I know a certain group of people will trash this book, and while I know it's just the world we live in today, it hurts my heart. I 10000% recommend this book! Buy this book now!!!

–

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[Shan · Rating 4 out of 5]

#TheEveryBodyBookofConsent #NetGalley

This book was very well-written and amazingly inclusive, but a lot to take in.
This is definitely a comprehensive book about different forms of consent. It is well written but almost overwhelming with information. The drawings seem a bit juvenile (almost for little kids) but the language leans more towards teenagers. This issue could be solved by using less cartoon-style drawings, not using any images at all, or minimal images. However, I will say that I really appreciated how diverse the illustrations were, and that's a small but big detail that is good for readers to observe.

I think tweens (11-12 yr olds), and even some teens, would get overwhelmed with the vocab dump that this book unloads. Maybe reading it in sections and pausing to discuss would be the best plan for getting the most out of this book. Although, it was perfect that there was a glossary with definitions of more complex words/topics in the back of the book.

The talk about consent with jokes around certain people felt rigid. I think it could have been written with a more dialectical stance. The author mentions jokes that are not okay, nonconsensual, etc, but never mentions a way to joke in a better way, consensually, or respectfully. I think this could potentially make readers (especially younger readers) scared to joke with their friends for fear of crossing a line, but some things could be added to find a good middle ground for joking.

I appreciate the talk of consent in the most basic sense, rather than just being sexual in nature. This book should definitely be read with a trusted adult available for the questions it will inevitably conjure. Kudos on including LGBTQ+, pronouns, as well as physical and mental disabilities when it comes to consent as well.

[NrsKelley · Rating 5 out of 5]

This should be required reading for everybody!!!
Consent can be such a hard concept for people to grasp. This book makes it easy for kids and parents to understand.
I’ve been very lucky to have a daughter who has taught her brothers about consent. So they understand now that you must always ask even if it’s just a hug. In today’s society this is a very important concept for our boys to understand!

[AskesianLibrarian · Rating 3 out of 5]

While there's a lot of important information packed into this book, its delivery falls short in several ways.  First, it just doesn't seem likely to appeal to actual kids - the pages are dense with small text and would really benefit from some graphic design to break things up with side panels, etc.  The exception to this are the occasional illustrations, particularly those with speech bubbles showing concrete examples of the concepts discussed; I suspect many kids will just skip through the book looking for the pictures.

In addition, without more structure to the writing, it's hard to pick out the key takeaways.  A short review or questions for discussion at the end of each chapter would have been a helpful addition.  Important terms are also sometimes lost among unnecessarily complex vocabulary; for example, on page 17 of the digital ARC, the list of ways to practice consent includes "waiting for your turn and feeling impatient (delaying gratification, impulse control)" which not only seems like a confusing example without providing more detail (e.g. waiting for your turn on the swing instead of pushing your friend off), but inexplicably introduces two phrases that are never defined anywhere or mentioned again.  There's also no table of contents, which I'm hoping is just an oversight in the ARC I received.

Despite that, I did notice the choice to place all discussion of disability in an unnumbered "Special Section" chapter on "Diverse Minds and Bodies," which I find problematic in several ways. First, it suggests this information is somehow more skippable, not deserving of inclusion in the "real" chapters but merely bonus content between chapters 2 and 3.  Much of this information would have fit in easily elsewhere; for example, the discussion of consent across communication barriers would have been perfect to include in chapter 3 when verbal and nonverbal consent are defined.  (Those terms are used in the special section before they're explicitly defined later on, further confirming my suspicion that this part was tacked on as an afterthought.)

There's also some problematic wording in this section, such as opening the whole discussion of non-physical disabilities with the statement, "If someone has a type of intellectual disability that makes it hard to get verbal consent, it is still important to be as clear as possible with what you are asking and offering" (p27).  I'm not sure why "intellectual disability" is being used as a catch-all term here - not all people with intellectual disabilities are nonspeaking, and not all nonspeaking people have intellectual disabilities, yet the two continue to be conflated throughout the next few paragraphs.  It makes me wonder if there was originally some discussion here about mental capacity to give consent (in which case the specific case of intellectual disability would be relevant), but if so that was taken out.  I also don't love that so much of this section is framed around helping to care for disabled people, without any acknowledgement that they can also participate in mutually fulfilling friendships, romantic relationships, etc. 

All of that said, there is some really helpful, nuanced information in this book that kids need to hear - topics like power dynamics, handling rejection, recognizing grooming behavior, contrasting secrets vs. surprises and private information, being an upstander and noting that it's sometimes NOT safe to be one (such as intervening when adults are fighting), exploring gendered societal expectations for sexual behavior, and even brief age-appropriate discussions of sexting and porn.  I just wish it was presented in a way that's more likely to engage its intended audience.

Overall, I think this book may be most useful as a resource for adults, providing language to start these important conversations rather than trying to get kids to actually read it themselves.  For some books that may be more appealing to this age group, I suggest checking out "Welcome to Consent: How to Say No, When to Say Yes, and How to Be the Boss of Your Body" by Yumi Stynes and Dr. Melissa Kang, and "Wait, What? A Comic Book Guide to Relationships, Bodies, and Growing Up" by Heather Corinna and Isabella Rotman.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for a digital ARC in exchange for this honest review.

[Chian.EXE · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is amazing and I think everyone if they have the time should read it. No matter the age I think this book is really important. I know for a fact growing up I was never taught about consent and I am a college student currently. When you think about it the ones who's consent is typically ignore are babies/children which is honestly a serious problem on top of the fact that consent (at least when I was in grade school ) was not taught.

This book did a phenomenal job at defining specific terminology to help better understand how it applies to the topic of consent. Honestly it is very unsettling to think about your childhood past and realize how many times your consent was taken from you just because it was 1. something you never knew about and 2. something was never taught about. Everyone one has a right to their own bodily autonomy and everyone's consent should be respected point blank period. Whether they are a baby/child, a teen, a adult, and old person, or even an animal no one has the right to do whatever they want with your body.

Truly a great and easily digestible book. Highly recommend.

I gotta thank NetGalley too for introducing me to the book on their website.

[Alex · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received a copy through NetGalley, and this is my honest and voluntary review.

"Consent, just like trust, isn't something you get from someone and have forever."

I like to read LGBTQAI-inclusive books for kids sometimes, because I didn't have any of those given to me when I was a kid. This book deals with the topic of consent, which goes far beyond sexual consent - it can be as simple as not wanting somebody to hug you, which is something kids often don't get a choice about.

I think this book was good at explaining consent and agency in an easy-to-understand way, but you definitely need an adult to go along with the kid, because there were a couple of bigger concepts that weren't really explained. For example, there was a practice part where it just told you to practice "waiting your turn and feeling impatient (delaying gratification, impulse control)". I feel like delaying gratification is a complicated word and concept that should be explained a bit more than just throwing it out in brackets?! But nothing, it's not even part of the glossary at the end. I also expected more practice exercises after that, but there weren't any.

What I really liked is that the book refers to "trusted adults" as opposed to parents, since not everyone has parents, or their parents might not be trusted adults. I do feel like the concept could have been "explained" a bit more and sooner.

The illustrations were very nice, colorful, pleasing to the eye, and most of all they presented a diverse range of people in ability, race and gender. I liked that in the section about pronouns, the appearance of the speaker didn't always match what you would associate with that pronoun - for example, a typically feminine kid was saying he likes to use both he and she pronouns.

[Kira K · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thoughts:
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily. This is such a great book for teaching bodily autonomy to kids. It would have been great to have this as a kid, being a girl in one of the generations raised to put others needs first. It was great to see how to handle disappointment and rejection and different forms of no or nonconsent. The section explaining the difference between private information, surprises and secrets and when secrets should be told to a trusted adult to help protect against grooming, and also explaining in a child friendly way what exactly grooming is for them to be more aware themselves. I personally loved the bit about disabled people and consent regarding their medical aids since as a disabled person myself this is something I’ve seen adults struggle with. The illustrations are also great and diverse which can help different kids feel identified with and pay more attention to.

Favourite Quote:
"Even if we’re not in a culture that values consent and body autonomy, we can create that culture by saying loudly and clearly what our bodies want and need."

[H Noss · Rating 5 out of 5]

An incredibly powerful read about consent for young people of all experiences.

"You are the best expert on you" is a perfect summary of consent, and some of the best advice you can give someone when it comes to other matters about their body too.

There's a great section on intersex children and disabilities, as well as how mobility aids like wheelchairs are an extension of someone's body.

I love that it includes instructions and examples of how to ask for consent, as well as how to take back consent when you change your mind.

It's so important to include that consent extends to privacy and information too.

My only concern is how the chapter on secrets does not consider situations where someone trustworthy asks a child to keep a secret to protect them, like plans to escape an abusive household or other nuanced issues. Instead, it says that a trustworthy person will never ask you to keep a secret.

Finally, I love the advice on being an upstander instead of a bystander. The author is cautious about whether it's safe but provides really powerful examples.

Thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for the early read!

[Kat · Rating 4 out of 5]

The book is well-written and well-thought-out. It is a good start for kids to start learning about consent, and how to listen to their bodies when something makes them uncomfortable or they are not sure what they might be feeling. The book is amazingly inclusive and teaches the important lesson that each person has a right to what happens to their body, both physical and emotional. The vocabulary could potentially be a bit much for the intended audience, but the glossary explains them well. I appreciate the note to grown-ups and that the book doesn't shy away from the more difficult topics, without going into detail. The book is also important because it teaches that consent is more than just sexual, but an important part of everyday life, and building relationships. The art is good and would work well to help children understand the concepts more, and learn from specific examples.

Thank you to Netgalley for the book, all opinions are my own.

[Amy Goodin · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an arc review from NetGalley.

This book is INCREDIBLE! I have nieces, nephews, cousins, and a little sister that are all in this age range and I am ecstatic that this book exists. So many good points! So many good topics! I even cried during parts of it thinking about impact this book could have if every young child and preteen had an adult who was willing to have these conversations with them.

Pros:
- Age appropriate
- Impactful content
- Well written and engaging
- Good illustrations / impactful illustrations
- Important and relatable topics
- Real and usable tips for kids / preteens

Suggestions for improvement:
- It would be nice to have a discussion guide / FAQ section for parents. Maybe a section with tips on how to approach these topics for the first time.

Overall, it's an absolute A+ and I've already pre-ordered it.

[Ryan · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a very well-done. It’s meant for elementary and middle grade about not just consent but bodily autonomy, and how things are changing. It does a great job of sharing examples and using illustrations to get its point across. It makes the difference between “consent” or “enthusiastic consent”, and the “maybe” type of consent. It also has lessons about when to talk to somebody like an adult or a parent, and when things might be more than you expected them to be. It does touch on porn and how porn is not necessarily a great example to follow. It packs a lot into a few pages. This book is wordy and a little repetitive when read all at once. But chapter by chapter it’s good not just for kids who are interested but could be used in school curriculum and with kids whether alone or gathered in groups.

[Katie · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Every Body Book of Consent is a wonderful resource to support learning and teaching about consent in an accessible and comprehensive way.

It’s perfectly geared towards pre-teens, and I think it’s also a great resource for grown ups looking to have important conversations with kids. The language was plain and straightforward, with a pragmatic, validating and normalising approach to consent.

The nuance of consent was captured well, and covered a wide range of situations, empowering people to speak out, and providing practical examples for how to do so. The book covers matters of diversity, privilege, and is highly inclusive, highlighting the relevance of consent to people of all backgrounds, and the rights and responsibilities that are associated with it.

Thank you Hachette UK and NetGalley for a copy of this book. Opinions expressed are my own.

[Marah | Gracefully Distracted · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you to Netgalley and Rachel Simons team for giving me early access to this book in exchange for my honest review.

This is an amazing collection of information that grants access to a lot of definitions that can be difficult to understand and/or explain. I do believe that we are very transparent parents but I don't think that this would be something I'd give my child until 11 or 12ish because it can be a lot to digest. But I loved that it focused on autonomy, which is so important, especially in today's world.

[Cass · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received this book through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

This is the kind of book probably everyone should read. It discusses consent in kid friendly ways, but is short and interesting enough that even an adult can get something out of it. I especially like the discussion of how consent is an everyday occurrence, and applies to everyone. This includes kids who might not want a hug or a person who might not like a joke.

Overall very good and important book.

[Sally Wilsey · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think every child should read this book. It is alot about boundaries and consent and how to set them. You can tell a child about what is allowed and what isnt but the illustrations in this book tell it in a way children can relate, It goes into how to say no and with peer pressure these days it is hard for children to do and not follow the crowd. I think every child from 6 up should read this book even pre teens and teens. I highly recommend it for libraries and home libraries.

[Sam · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received a copy of this from netgalley in exchange for a review

I think this is a very good resource for kids and honestly even teenagers to learn important topics based around consent and boundaries, both in general and for certain activities. It is very clearly explained, and quite inclusive, touching on disability, queerness, and even intersexual folks.

It is a book I wish I had had as a child, and I'm glad it exists.

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is such a valuable resource for teaching kids about consent. The author does a great job at presenting age appropriate information and applying consent to a variety of circumstances. It is inclusive of different genders, sexuality, race, and disability. It truly is for "every body". I am looking forward to using this book in conjunction with the previous "Every Body Book" to teach my kids. Thank you to Netgalley and Hachette UK | Jessica Kingsley Publishers for this ARC.

[Jasmine Galloway · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you NetGalley for the arc! This is a powerful book that I hope parents read with their kids. The conversations are so important and the diversity in the book allows for anyone to pick it up. I was impressed with the intersex inclusion as well.

This book does go into some more mature conversations so some of it is probably for 10+

[Alex · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book should be read by all, no matter the age or gender or background, because consent is such an important topic.

This subject was addressed the right way, with dos and don'ts, with good examples and bad examples.
There's a lot of information, but it can be read easily. It's writing in clear and concise language.

I love the inclusion shown in this book, which is also super important.

[Kimberly Tierney · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an amazing book for tweens. If I had the money I would put a copy of this book into the hands of every middle school counselor. It speaks right on the age level of grades 5-8, maybe grade 4, depending on the maturity of the student. Everything is explained well and not in a way that would make a child uncomfortable, but they would feel informed and empowered.

[Elaine Fultz, Teacher Librarian, MLS · Rating 4 out of 5]

Never too early to understand body autonomy. These new children's books about consent are needed. Some are age appropriate for littles and some are best for middle school. If consent is not understood by high school it's too late.

[Jayleigh · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very well written and informative! I recommend everyone to read this book! The title wasn’t lying when it said Every Body!! Thank you to netgalley for letting me read it early!

[Rina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly recommend for parents to share with their kids.

[Lindsay · Rating 4 out of 5]

borrow

[Mx Phoebe · Rating 4 out of 5]

Noah Grigni illustrated The Every Body Book of Consent. The drawings are clear and engaging. They correspond to the text perfectly. The characters are diverse across all spectrums.


I received an ARC of this book and I am writing a review without prejudice and voluntarily.

[Shilo Quetchenbach · Rating 5 out of 5]

This follow up to the Every Body Book is a fantastic guide to consent. It is written in an easily understandable way that should resonate with kids age 8-12. My kiddo (10) listened intently and made connections on his own to his own behavior and things he should do differently in the future. I learned a lot too.

The text has important words highlighted in bold font and has appealing illustrations of kids in various situations that come up in the text.

The characters in the illustrations are very diverse. There are a variety of skin tones represented, as well as several forms of disability, and the sections dealing with relationships and kissing show a variety of sexualities.

The text also goes into the importance of consent for people with disabilities (not pushing someone's wheelchair without being asked, for example) including those with autism and other types of neurodivergence, as well as those with intellectual disabilities.

The text drives home the point about getting enthusiastic consent and the importance of verbal consent (yes means yes; anything else means no). It also highlights the importance of setting boundaries for healthy relationships.

I highly, highly recommend this book to every kid in the 8-12 range and beyond. It's so important. I will be purchasing my own copy so we can refer back to it.

*Thanks to NetGalley and Jessica Kingsley Publishers for providing an early copy for review.