Better Than I Know Myself: A Novel

by Virginia DeBerry, Donna Grant

The beloved #1 Essence bestselling authors of Tryin' to Sleep in the Bed You Made now deliver a novel in which you'll meet their most unforgettable characters yet. Carmen, Jewel, and Regina could not be more different. When they meet as freshmen at Columbia University, they're pretty confident that a friendship among them isn't in the cards. Jewel is Hollywood as the teenage star of the TV show "Daddy's Girl," her face is instantly recognizable all across America. Now, though, she wants two things-to get a serious education, and to leave her controlling stage mother behind. Regina is the definitive upper-middle-class African-American girl. Her picture-perfect parents are what she calls "black Ward and June Cleavers" and their goals for her are like a stranglehold. No one can see, though, how far Regina's rebellious side will take her (or how treacherous it will become). Carmen is just trying to get by. A child of the projects whose father is dead and whose mother has vanished, Carmen has been raised by her abusive brother. Columbia is the way for her to get a better life-if she can hold down two jobs and keep her GPA up. When the three of them meet, their lives are at a crossroad. And as the years progress, from the 1980s to the present day, they are challenged by drug addiction, fame, secrets from the past, sickness, betrayal, and the darkest things women can face. One of them won't survive. But what will be the lasting legacy of their friendship? Better Than I Know Myself is a novel of heartache, triumph, tears, and the unshakeable bonds among women.

Genres: Fiction, Chick Lit, Audiobook, Contemporary, African American, Romance, Book Club

386 pages, Kindle Edition

First published June 1, 2004

About the author

We are best friends who’ve been co-writing women’s fiction since 1990. For more information about who we are, what we do and...what we did, please visit deberryandgrant.com. We can also be found online at: Facebook.com/deberryandgrant
Instagram @deberryandgrant

Reviews

[Nicole · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an excellent read. You laugh, you cry, you become one of the girls. You can relate to each character in this book. I absolutely loved it!!!

[Cheryl James · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really wanted to love this book but it fell short for me. I loved the characters and each of their stories, however the author did a very poor job of writing their story. I found myself getting very bored in between stories. The writing was very flat, repetitive and simple. The ending of the book made no sense to me but I was just glad the reading was over. I am going to try one more book by the authors. I hope I am not disappointed .

Kindle Version🎁

[Sha-keh-ree · Rating 5 out of 5]

A tale of true friendship from inception. Carmen, Regina, and Jewel develop and grow their bond beginning in their days at Barnard University. We follow them throughout their post college days through the ups and downs of life. I cried, I laughed. I welp tears of joy and sadness throughout this book, but I know this is what real friendship feels like and looks like. These authors beautifully portray love, growth, hardships, and the true meaning of friendship. All the women worked my nerves at times (mostly Regina🙄), but in the end I’m glad I got to see them grown into beautiful women and bloom within a strong bond of friendship. 🤍🤍🤍(for the white roses).

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

I stumbled across this book and read it over the weekend while on vacation. This book was truly a great read. It touched on so many aspects of life and friendship. What I found most rewarding was the author(s) ability to not only show support among friends, but to show how in life we each need friends that we can share all of our flaws with and still find the love that is needed to make it through. Each of the women in this group of friends were different, but their paths constantly crossed as they needed each other, but they each still had room to grow and make mistakes. You will laugh, cheer, and cry through all of the different situations and breakthroughs. Of course there is a little bit of "that couldn't happen" throughout the book, but the overall theme will make you want to hug your best friend, be a better friend, or simply just love your life for the moment and all of life's blessings and lessons. Great book.

[Tracy · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a good book but it was VERY VERY slow. However, once I got into it, it was a very touching story

[Phyllis | Mocha Drop · Rating 3 out of 5]

Better Than I Know Myself is the latest offering of Virginia DeBerry and Donna Grant. It is a melodramatic coming of age story of three girls from varying socio-economic backgrounds emerging into adulthood and their lifelong friendship until one of them meets an untimely demise.

This novel reads like a "Made-For-TV" movie complete with unspoken secrets, lost loves, teenaged pregnancies, drug addiction, illness, perfectly timed flashbacks, and a host of canned, supporting characters. Opening with a present day gravesite scene, the reader is forced to wonder which of the three main characters has died. You are then immediately thrust back nearly 25 years to the early 1980's and introduced to each teenaged character as she plans to attend Barnard College.

Jewel is the well-endowed misunderstood child star who has an ultimate "diva" type for a mother and a manager. She is slowly coming into her own person as she defiantly decides to attend college on the East Coast away from all the trappings of Hollywood. Carmen is the poor, shy, angry girl from the ghetto who works full time and relies heavily on scholarships to stay afloat. Her dream is to become a doctor as part of a pledge she made to her deceased father. Regina is the resentful middle-class child who fails in her academic studies but excels in party planning. Through a twist of fate, they become friends and eventually roommates.

Most of the storylines were a bit predictable (in my opinion) - they all are looking for love, so there are multiple dating scenes as they look for Mr. Right; two of the three have varying degrees of financial worry; and all have a serious case of dysfunctionality going on within their families stemming from unresolved childhood issues. The core theme of the story is friendship and despite the differences in background, successes, and failures, they proved to be good friends to each other when the chips were down.

The one element that kept me reading was the mystery laid in the opening passages - I wanted to know which friend passes in the end. I guessed wrong - so that added a welcomed element of surprise to the story for me. Unfortunately, I had to wait 350 pages to find the answer....Overall, it was a well written story, but I found it to be very "soap opera-ish." Those who love "sister-friend" types of books will LOVE this novel - it has all the elements to make it a tear-jerker for the sensitive reader. Unfortunately, I'm not - thus the middle of the road rating.

[Nardsbaby Reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

True friendship is something you build together

BETTER THAN I KNOW MYSELF is a novel where we meet three opposite sisters in search of something that leads them to college.

Regina is the rebellious one.
Carmen is the loner.
Jewel is the famous one.
"None of us are in this alone." It took meeting the others' for the others to realize.
From opposite's end of the world to the same campus, a class here and there, to being roommates, these three young women transcend in time and eventually grow as sisters. The relationship that the 5D roomies share is even deeper than that of birth sisters. For all the good, graduations, careers, tear jerking sad, shocking secrets, alcohol & cocaine addiction, cancer HIV & AIDS, child birth, adoptions, mental, sexual abuse and love present past & future, and ultimately the end.

This dynamic duo, DeBerry & Grant, do it again in this novel with the time line and the growth of the characters. I found myself laughing and crying throughout the years with these women and I hated to get to the end. My eyes are still dripping wet.

BETTER THAN I KNOW MYSELF is only title real friends can use. This is a great read.

[Annaelle Lafontant · Rating 5 out of 5]

Crying at the pool in the Bahamas! Friendship is so important man, we have to cherish the people in our lives.

I love these authors so much, I think it is so special being able to reach into the worlds of their characters and seeing their lives through decades. I would recommend this book to anyone. Books about college friendships always make me so teary eyed, you really can find your family in every place you go.

[Ashley Teagle · Rating 4 out of 5]

It took me a while to warm up to this book, but once I got into it I loved it. The book is about three friends with three very different backgrounds: child star Jewel; the underprivileged Carmen; and the rebellious middle class kid Regina.

DeBerry did a great job of balancing the three stories and there was a lot of action to keep the book going. The book touches on a lot of important topics in the African American community: teen pregnancy, AIDS, cancer, among others.

I thought the characters were realistic and the book was written well.

I would highly recommend this book to fans of African American fiction and stories about friendship.

[Coffee&Books · Rating 3 out of 5]

NOT TO SAY I didn’t like this book. I think I would have enjoyed this MORE if the pacing and the length were different. This book spans the lives of three women from childhood through adulthood. I normally like a nice long saga. Some details were skimmed in a few paragraphs and some were pages and pages of minutiae. Since I’m writing a series about three women I find it helps to read others along the same vein.

[Meka. Reads · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Better than I Know Myself" by Virginia DeBerry and Donna Grant was a profoundly emotional experience. I thoroughly enjoyed this thoughtful coming-of-age journey, as Carmen, Regina, and Jewell navigated complex family dynamics, friendship, forgiveness, acceptance, loss, love, moral growth, self-discovery, accountability, and redemption. The storyline was resonant, with well-developed, multi-dimensional characters. Each character had a storyline that meticulously developed their unique personalities. There were a range of emotions I experienced such as anger, sadness, nostalgia, excitement, anticipation, and empathy. This book showcases the transformative power of friendship and its unbreakable bonds, which can withstand even the most daunting challenges. This book serves as a reminder to cherish friendships and embrace life, given its fragility and unpredictability. I highly recommend this read, as it invites reflection and reminiscence, particularly with friends.

[Taneka · Rating 4 out of 5]

This story was going at a great pace. I enjoyed the lives of Carmen, Jewel, and Regina. All women going through life's ups and downs. Meeting in college, and becoming friends, they were so opposite, but became fast friends.

I listened to this book on audio, and was not all that pleased with the reader. But the story was so great. I listened at work, and so it was a full change of pace when the end of the book came. I cried for a full 15 minutes at my desk. I know these women, I am one of these women, and so are my best friends.

I recommend this for a book club or a girlfriend's read group. So now, I have to go and call my friends and tell them how much and why I love them.

[BRan · Rating 5 out of 5]

OMGoodness!!!! What an amazing story of love, loss, friendship and new beginnings! Wonderfully written and beautifully read! The connection formed to these characters tugs at your heart strings! Thanks for sharing Ms. DeBerry and Ms. Grant!

[Diana Suarez · Rating 5 out of 5]

OMG what an emotional rollercoaster! The adversities these ladies overcame in life and navigating through it was just crazy yet amazing. Their lives and personalities couldn’t be more different. The grass is greener on the other side for these three. I haven’t cried reading a book in a very long time! I will never forget this book, it tugged at my heartstrings but a great read. Definitely felt like a series, especially with the chapter titles.

[Jill · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very long but good. I laughed and cried!

[Tiffany Roper · Rating 5 out of 5]

I truly felt like I grew up right along with Jewell, Regina, and Carmen. Their character development was spectacular and I completely immersed in their stories. I couldn’t put it down!! Great read!!

[Dawn Marie]

I’ve picked this book up four times and only gotten 25% in. Sadly, I’m going to dnf this one. It’s too slow for me. I really can’t get into it. The characters and storyline just don’t keep my attention.

[Lizzie Winns · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was pretty good, the main characters shared a love and strong bond for each other through thick and thin. I highly recommend it.

[Danielle Vaughan · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a great book. Plenty of tears, laughs, ups and downs. I truly love it. It’s a must read.

[It's Me - Yvette · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this one and am adding to my favorites shelf. What is better than the love and camaraderie of true friends? I’m so glad I have true friends.

[Tamara · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read a previous book by these two ladies several years back, called “Tryin To Sleep In The Bed You Made”. Even though that book had tons of great reviews, I personally didn’t care for it. So, when “Better Than I Know Myself” was picked for one of my book club reads, I wasn’t pleased. I really put off reading it until the last minute because I already had it in my brain that I wouldn’t like it. In short, my assumption wasn’t completely inline regarding this particular book. This did have a similar theme to their previous book in that it’s about friends that are opposites whom bond and come together. The similarity ends there, this time it was actually interesting. In this book it’s three ladies, instead of two. This story is dynamic with evolving characters. There was no main protagonist, I’d say it was split evenly amongst the three women this story revolves around. Jewel, Carmen and Regina, all from vastly different walks of live.

Jewel, the young child star turned adult soap star. Carmen, the girl from the ghetto who worked beyond hard to bring herself a better life. Regina a suburban girl from a strong family whom doesn’t feel wanted and has a hard time finding her place. They all have different but equality difficult issues both emotionally and physically to overcome and rise above. For a while it looks pretty bleak for a few of the ladies, but they pull through. Eventually, when we finally get to have a sense of all is well and everyone is on the right track suddenly a tragedy occurs and one of them unexpectedly dies. I won’t say who, because I don’t want to ruin it, but all I thought was “Wow, go figure.”. You really did get to know these ladies in the book and I felt sad for them.

I came across a character I was certain I’ve read about in another book. Not sure what book it was though. I’ve been racking my brain about it since Saturday. Jewel’s fiancé, Dwight has a father who is a property mogul, who goes by King. He has such a nasty personality, it’s hard to forget. I recognized him from another book I read a while back. I think I even recognized Dwight's aunt too from that same book. Now if only I can remember the book! I’ll probably be thinking about this forever until I remember.

This book was written in third person, which I haven’t read a lot of books recently with stories told in this manner. It seems that a lot of books seem to be written in first person. It was fun to be able to see the story from all angles and get the internal thoughts and feelings from each of the ladies.

I’d say the pace of the book was slow until about the half way mark, about almost 200 pages in. For me, that’s a bit much, but I did get satisfaction from the ending, which I guess would make it a good payoff. What I liked about the ending was that it was realistic. Sometimes a realistic ending is so much more satisfying than a happy go lucky one.

In the end, even though the initial pace was slow, it was a good book. This book was the perfect example of what lifelong friendship really means. Even though I liked it, would I read another book by these two authors? Probably not, unless it was another book club pick.

[Adelaide · Rating 2 out of 5]

Eh…… I hate to say it but this was a tough read for me. 😮‍💨 This was one of those “Every Black woman should read this” lists and I gave it a try and it wasn’t for the kid. Not sure if because it was published in the mid 2000’s was part of the challenge but either way I wasn’t really feeling it.

I felt like it was long af for no reason and the plot just dragged and dragged and dragged and dragged on. I also wasn’t very fond of having two authors. They both had different writing styles and I think that had an effect on how I felt about the book. I could tell when the other author was writing and the flow just felt off.

I also wasn’t crazy about any of the characters particularly. Although one annoyed the complete fuck out of me lol.

I love books and friendship and this just wasn’t it for me.

[stephanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

the african-american book that transcended to the "mainstream" chicklit shelf.

i picked it up because it's the story of three girls who met at barnard and ended up life long friends. each story is heart-breaking in its own way, and yet the ending remains hopeful. still it doesn't fall into traditional chicklit tropes, and i appreciate that. the characters feel more real, even if they are a bit stereotyped, and.

this is what real quality chicklit should be doing, i think. not shying away from the "taboos" but addressing them head-on. it's an excellent story, with excellent characters you actually care about.

[Lisa Tapper · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love this book. I loved each character in the book, each woman had attitude and if you personally did not relate with one of these ladies you most definitely know a girlfriend who is just like one of these ladies. I laughed and cried and was surprised through out this book. It is the kind of book you want to keep reading and not put it down to see what is next. On the other hand you don't want it to end because it is just "that good". Great chick book or read for summer.

[Britta · Rating 2 out of 5]

"A man loves a woman. Her body is part of her expirience - whatever that is. If he does not love that too, he is a pig, he is not a man."

"Time is not promised and regret is a waste of it."

"The ultimate control is deciding you don't always have to have it."

"Childbirth: It's the hardest pain to bear and the easiest to forget."

[Rnd · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book had me crying and I hate books that have me sad and crying. But I couldn't help but like this book. I love the authors, and the characters seemed so real to me, I was immersed in the story of their lives.It wasn't the typical dramafied book about black women. It had depth, real feeling and meaning, not a superficial story.

[Ebony · Rating 5 out of 5]

This story was a really touching illustration of friendship and the bonds that are formed through the years. I laughed and cried ... A LOT. This would make an excellent gift between girlfriends.

[Che · Rating 2 out of 5]

Read it. Don't remember much about it which says something about the story.

[Efundunke · Rating 5 out of 5]

These books are getting too real. So good. the ones you least expect.

[Arlene Walker · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5!