Good Self, Bad Self: How to Bounce Back from a Personal Crisis

by Judy Smith

One of America’s best-known crisis managers reveals the secrets to overcoming a personal crisis, empowering readers to become stronger people and fully recover from a damaging experience, whether a relationship crisis or business disaster.

As America’s #1 crisis management expert, Judy Smith has been asked to help repair the reputations and overcome the obstacles faced by some of the most well-known companies, celebrities, and politicians of our time. In the process she has discovered that, whether or not one is a household name, there are universal character flaws, trouble spots, and weaknesses that exist in everyone. Over the years, Smith has been able to identify these high-risk traits that often lead to marital, financial, professional, or personal imprudence. These urges exist in all of us, whether it’s the belief that an indiscretion is too minor to detect, a mistake is too difficult to repair, or a deceit is too well hidden to be discovered. But, as Smith shows, we can overcome these negative urges and failings—and even turn them into our strongest assets.

Just as Gavin de Becker’s bestselling book The Gift of Fear teaches how to recognize and survive universal signs of violence, and as Chip and Dan Heath’s bestselling book Switch shows readers how to implement change in their lives, Good Self, Bad Self will teach us how to face and overcome our own denial of impending problems—and how to identify and avoid such situations in the first place. Smith believes that the way each of us deals with personal character flaws is what dictates whether we’re going to be successful or whether we’re going to destroy what we, and those around us, have worked so hard to build. In Good Self, Bad Self, she distills years of experience to share the tools we all need to face our mistakes and ultimately overcome them.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Business, Leadership, Personal Development, Audiobook, Psychology

272 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2012

Reviews

[Sylvia Grass · Rating 1 out of 5]

The advice in the book is obvious stuff like "be flexible but not too flexible; be strong but not too rigid; a bad trait can be good and a good trait can be bad; have perspective on your behaviors to avoid crisis"
There I just saved you hours of reading. I guess I was looking for real insight and she has the experience to provide that but she doesn't. Why? Very disappointed and won't be reading anything more from Judy Smith.

[Deb · Rating 5 out of 5]

**Crisis diverted.**

Ego. Denial. Fear. Ambition. Accommodation. Patience. Indulgence.

Depending on how we use them, these “big seven” character traits can be our biggest assets—or our biggest liabilities. In the words of the author:
“The same traits that make you successful can be your downfall. That’s the root of most crises and the point of this book.” (p. 9)

In each chapter, the author presents how her “POWER” approach can be used to keep each of these traits in check: (p. 14):
• Pinpoint the core trait: Identify which trait is in play.
• Own it: Acknowledge that is can be both good and bad.
• Work through it: Process the role it’s played in your life.
• Explore it: Consider how it could play out in the future.
• Rein it in: Establish how to re-achieve balance and control.

Exceptionally readable, this book is extremely well-written, organized, and engaging. The information in each chapter is presented as highly relevant crisis prevention topics including: signs suggesting the ego is not in check, common beliefs fueling denial, fear factors and management strategies, formulas for explosive ambition, guidelines for determining when accommodation is appropriate, factors underlying impatience, paths by which excessive indulgence can lead to a crisis, and the elements of an effective apology.

Each chapter distills the essentials of managing the seven character traits to hopefully help you avoid crises. But, in the event that a crisis does happen, the author offers her guidelines on navigating it (pp. 255):
1. Trust your gut.
2. Know the facts—not what you *want* them to be but what they *are.*
3. Never assume you know everything.
4. The truth always comes out—it’s only a question of when.
5. Read the climate—know the landscape.
6. Know where you want to end up.
7. Know when to hold and when to fold.
8. Admit you are in trouble.
9. Don’t overreact.
10. You will know when to walk away.
11. Things usually get worse before they get better.
12. Expect the unexpected.
13. Crises occur irrespective or one’s fame, power, or prestige…so deal with it.
(These guidelines are just the icing on this cake of a book. Hopefully, they’ll whet your appetite to dig in to the rest of the book!)

Think of this book as two-fold: crisis insurance and crisis management. (And, be prepared to learn about your good and bad selves in the process!)

[Pamela · Rating 1 out of 5]

Long,drawn out. Lots of name dropping. She makes her point with tons of stories about famous people, but there is no real content. The title of the book is misleading as I did NOT learn one bit about "transforming your worst qualities into your biggest assets" -- basically, use moderation in all things including your traits.

[Jenny · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book for a class. It had been on my "to read" list for a while but I confess I probably wouldn't have picked it up if I didn't have the assignment to read this. I enjoyed it. It's very clear and concise - at times it's a bit repetitive. I like that Judy is very no-nonsense and she makes the reader acknowledge that frequently the problems in your life come from your own faults. It is necessary to acknowledge those faults, figure out how to right the wrongs and then figure out a way to channel your personality flaws into something more positive. It's a good primer for a business crisis or personal crisis.

[Lourdes Encinas · Rating 4 out of 5]

Muy ilustrativo, no solo para resolver crisis propias (personales o de trabajo), sino para identificar las de los demás.

Le puedo poner nombre y apellido a algunas de las situaciones que plantea.

Muy recomendable para quienes se dediquen a la comunicación y manejo de crisis.

Opten por la versión en inglés.

[Ingrid · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great insight into managing any crisis. Tactical advice for solving or resolving problems in the workplace or in personal life situations. The Olivia Pope character in the tv series is based on the work of Judy Smith.

[KandiH · Rating 1 out of 5]

I found myself skimming through this, not particularly well or badly written and rather obvious in its conclusions.

[Christine · Rating 1 out of 5]

Disappointing. Judy Smith has such a legendary barrier breaker woman with so many achievements; but this book fell short of offering solid actionable advice.

[Kyra Caswell · Rating 4 out of 5]

I like it ; it wasn’t as intriguing as I thought it would be. I did enjoy reading about other individuals experiences and how I can apply their insights to my life. Here’s what I learned from the book:

This is my take away: 


Big Seven” Traits at the Heart of Crisis

Smith identifies seven core traits that often tip into crisis when unbalanced:

Ego
Denial
Fear
Ambition
Accommodation
Patience
Indulgence

These traits aren’t inherently good or bad; success lies in recognizing when they’ve gone too far.                                        

The POWER Model: A Structured Response Tool

Each chapter introduces the POWER approach to navigate these traits:

Pinpoint the core trait
Own it—acknowledge both its strengths and downsides
Work through its impact
Explore its future effect
Rein it in—restore control and balance
This model helps bring awareness and intentionality to our behavior.  

Example :
Reframe Empathy as a Shared Responsibility 

Smith’s view is that a good self trait like empathy becomes a bad self habit when it’s unbounded.
Balanced empathy means you care without carrying the entire weight of someone else’s feelings.
I can still uplift others, but I can decide how much time, energy, and emotional bandwidth you can give before you engage.
Shift in mindset: “I can be kind without over-giving. My support is still valuable even if it’s not unlimited.”

[Cyndie Courtney · Rating 4 out of 5]

Are we all allowed to just want to be Judy Smith? If you didn't already want to know more about this woman after watching Scandal, just hearing about the fact that she is a double doctor (MD and PHD) should perk up your ears. She provides a good framework for both understanding the most common flaws likely to get in trouble, subtle ways they might show up, and a concrete way to work through them. More importantly though she encourages us to consider with humility that we all have flaws and to remember that often our weaknesses walk hand in hand with our strengths - which as a new veterinarian I had cause to learn myself the hard way and drove me along my own journey toward studying interpersonal conflict. Highly recommend if you want to be a better human being and live a more balanced life.

[Russell · Rating 1 out of 5]

I'm going through my to-read list. This book got added a couple days after the author's appearance the Daily Show. Jon must have really sold the book to me. Ended up being not really worth my time.

I don't know if there's enough stuff in the book, it's mostly fluff and feels like someone padding a word count.

At the very end a good apology was explained, but somehow these folks never have to actually hold themselves accountable.

Since the book was published the stories about Kanye, and Mayor Rudy, and even P Diddy all feel different. Book is probably cool if you only care how you look by the public instead of who you are.

[Jamie A. Triplin · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a 20+ year communications professional, I really admire the work Judy Smith has done to build her career. In this type of business you tend to get to know people. Being a great communicator is part of understanding how people tick. One reviewer mentioned about there being too much name dropping, but I loved the fact that she used many real life scenarios from her experience. There were some parts that seemed repetitive, but overall, it gave great insight to just how important it is that your personal life is in control. Great for understanding more about reputation building.

[Izzati · Rating 3 out of 5]

Actual rating 3.5 stars.

Written by a crisis management expert who was the very inspiration for the hit series Scandal, this book highlights the traits that can both propel you to success and bring you crises. The key is in staying in the golden mean, where you're not lacking the big seven traits and not having too much of them either.

Judy Smith also gives a mnemonic approach called P.O.W.E.R. that you can apply in your lives in order to manage problems or avoid before they occur. While I think that all of the advice are nothing new, I did enjoy the examples and real-life stories that she included to illustrate what she was talking about.

[Emily Griffin · Rating 1 out of 5]

Can’t say I enjoyed this one bit. I picked it up as my nonfiction book for February in the hopes of learning how to transform some negative qualities into positive ones. I learned nothing. A few examples of celebrities the author has worked with to basically say “you should have ego but not too much” “you should indulge but not too much”. Okay…thanks for stating the obvious.

[Elle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved the real life examples! Its a good reaf

[Dave · Rating 4 out of 5]

Judy Smith’s POWER method is both catchy and relevant. Her use of examples to illustrate the worth of her work and need for the reader/listener to adopt this model are compelling. She also exhibits a strong moral compass and focus on facts through her commentary on how each situation was handled. It’s no surprise Scandal, the television show based on her career, was such a hit.

[Corinne · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received a galley copy of this book through a Goodreads giveaway. I was originally interested in the book because it seemed different from so many self-help or advice books out there, and I was pleasantly surprised to find that it was. Judy Smith, a professional crisis management expert, goes over several traits she has seen time and again lead others to require her assistance. However, she acknowledges that all of those traits can be valuable, when in balance. Unlike so many self help authors whose goal seems to be to turn us all into beatific drones completely bereft of any emotion with the potential for negativity, Smith shows that traits such as fear, ambition, ego, and indulgence (among others) have a place in our lives and can be used positively. Her book is filled with examples (perhaps overfilled, but it's a fine line to walk) of famous scandals that contain her key traits at their core. She also tells us how these traits present in less cataclysmic but still damaging ways, and how to pursue balance in our own lives using her POWER system. While the sections at the end of each chapter explaining how to apply POWER to that trait can be redundant at times, overall the book is extremely helpful for anyone looking to resolve, or better yet prevent, the presence of crisis in their lives, as well as anyone who feels a little off balance in terms of their core personality traits.

[Roger Smitter · Rating 3 out of 5]

Smith’s argues that we need to establish a middle point between virtues and vices. While the Greek philosophers covered this topic centuries ago, Smith enlivens the idea with multiple examples of public figures who allow virtues to become vices.

Good Self, Bad Self provides insights about seven core human traits: ego, denial, fear, ambition, accommodation, patience, indulgence. Other writers, especially those Greek philosophers, see more complexity in human behavior than Smith writes about. Some of Smith’s chapters recognize the value for understanding of the opposite of a trait and achieving a median in our behavior. This approach reaches it fullest expression in the chapters on fear and accommodation. Others do not.

Smith’s abundant use of public figures as illustrations of the "bad self" make the concepts come alive. Some examples tend to overwhelm the serious topics in this book. After a chapter or two, I could skim through the examples and get to the core of what she has to say.

Many of these examples will be dated very quickly because people in high places keep behaving in ways that provide writers like Smith with abundant fodder. Her work as a crisis consultant will no doubt provide material for her next book.

[Eyehavenofilter · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well yes we all have a good self and a bad self but do we have control? I bet we don't!
This will give you a bit of a handle on why you are out of control and love it SOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!
We all like the spotlight sometimes... But seriously, how many times can you say your sorry for being
such a jackass at work, to your partner, when your car breaks down, when you can't find your keys,
you didn't get that promotion....what? After everything you've sacrificed for whoever, whatever......?
Anyway.... was it one of these traits?
Ego, denial, fear, ambition, accommodation, patience, or indulgence that got in your own way of success?
Judy Smith uses, some really famous cases to illustrate how the very famous and infamous have
literally destroyed their own reputations, just by falling into the traps and traits listed above!
And just think you may be doing it too. Want to stop? Good. Use Judy's POWER steps to muckle onto
what's submarining your life and stop all this nonsense.
Get back in charge!

[Jose · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good Self, Bad Self is an unrealized good book in a mediocre self help one. You'll be familiar with some of the topics in this one. The twist is that this book promotes the authors "POWER" system. It's PR acronym BS that I personally didn't like. I will never find myself using the "POWER" system, but perhaps someone will. Though, it's literally just a fancy repacking of saying be self aware and do self reflection on your emotions and actions. Despite my criticism, it provides useful information about the ego and other general concepts every person should know about. I saw genuine passion when she started talking about her area of expertise, which was Public relations and crisis management. I probably would have preferred reading a book about that from the author since it could have gone into greater detail about the psychological concepts she explored. Indeed, "No crisis is insurmountable" and one does need "to figure out what one values and let everything else take a back seat."

[Monique · Rating 4 out of 5]

Smith uses lots of examples in the book but nothing juicy or new. That made me stop and think...what did I think this book was about anyway? I guess I wanted it to along the storylines of the TV show Scandal but that is written by Shonda Rhimes. After stepping back and reading the book on its own merit it helped me think about how I handled crisis in my life...believe me things will be handled differently after reading this book. Know how to navigate the big seven: ego, denial, fear, ambition, accomandations, patience, and indulgence. Even more importantly master the art of apologies and know how to navigate a crisis. Smith is a genius.

[Emily Kestrel · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was intrigued by this title because I've noticed that some aspects of my personality seem both good and bad, and I can see ways the same trait has both helped me succeed and caused some problems. Unfortunately, the book didn't live up to my expectations. The author rushes through too much, everything from the good and the bad of ambition to addictions to when it's OK to go with the flow, without going into any detail about any of it (she does mention titles of other books that do). I wasn't that fond of the many superficial celebrity and headline news examples, either, such as Naomi Campbell, P. Diddy and Lindsey Lohan. **I received a free copy of this book as a First Reads Giveaway.**

[Seán O'Hara · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book very helpful toward understanding how each of us can trip ourselves up. While it does not go very deep into the causes of this phenomenon (she leave this to professional therapists), the author does give very useful and practical advise towards managing the parts of ourselves responsible. She also provides interesting anecdotal illustrations including many about people we've often read about in the media (many of them very recent). There is also a useful formula offered to help remind oneself of the precepts laid out in this work.

[Dru]

I wanted to love this book, but I just couldn't find myself finishing it. I was looking for real ways to turn my worst qualities into my best assets. All I really got was a lot of crisis management stories, and a lot of "if they had checked their ego before hand, none of this would have happened".

Well, sure....but what about the promise of the book? About 80 pages in and I just could NOT find any good advice...seems more of a tell-all than self-help.

[Heather · Rating 3 out of 5]

what I liked
-lots of stories of things going very wrong
-like the concept of trait that take you to the top as also the traits that will demolish you
-good sensible advise

what I missed
-more meat on the stories talking about issues
-more depth on the different traits (ego, fear, etc) dare I say here more Zen

It was a good book just not a great book, glad I read it as I came away with a different way of looking at things.

[Matthew Stern · Rating 5 out of 5]

Crisis management expert Judy Smith offers advice to the (in)famous and not-so-famous alike on how to avoid self-destructive behaviors and what to do when the worst happens. She shows how traits like ego, ambition, and accommodation that can drive us to success can also lead us to horrible downfalls. She also provides tips on giving a sincere apology. In today's world where omnipresent camera phones can thrust anyone into an unwanted limelight, Smith's clear and actionable advice is essential.

[Jerry Williams · Rating 3 out of 5]

Be aware that this book is long, when I say that I mean even in Audio Book format it seems that it goes on forever. I have listened to and read longer books, but it seems as if this one goes on forever. Despite this, I wouldn't fault the information given, and the real life examples given by the Author when she is called upon to "fix" things that have gone wrong in the lives of people on various positions of power. I would of however liked more depth in certain areas and less info in others.

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Judy Smith gives the reader a straightforward approach to truly transform their lives. She provides real examples to explain the theories. Then Smith takes it one step further and provides the how to make the changes. An excellent self-help book for life today. Thanks to Goodreads for providing my copy.

[Kathleen · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is less a self-help book than a compilation of scandals and miscues and how people could have avoided their problems. The final chapter does talk about the importance of apologizing and explains the best way to do it. In short, "I'm sorry if I offended you when I ..." isn't a good way to start.

[Sabrina · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wasn't sure exactly what I was expecting when I picked this book up, but I was pleasantly surprised. This book gave me a lot to think and write about (for myself) and I didn't expect I would be hit personally with any information or get affected like I did. I really enjoyed the experience this book brought me.