Zwei Frauen in Dublin

by Emilie Pine, Cornelia Röser (translator)

Der Debütroman der internationalen Bestsellerautorin von »Botschaften an mich selbst«

Dublin, der 7. Oktober 2019: Ein Tag, eine Stadt, zwei Frauen. Sie kennen sich nicht, aber beide sind mit denselben Fragen Wo ist mein Platz in der Welt, und was tue ich, wenn meine Wünsche nicht in Erfüllung gehen? Ein tief berührender und strahlend intelligenter Roman über die Grenzen von Trauer und Liebe und über den zarten Mut, den wir im Alltag brauchen. Ruth arbeitet als Therapeutin und steckt in einer Ehekrise. Ihr Mann Aidan ist auf einer Konferenz in London, und sie ist nicht sicher, ob er zurück nach Hause kommen wird. Die beiden sind ungewollt kinderlos und haben schon mehrere künstliche Befruchtungen hinter sich, doch Ruth weiß an diesem Sie will nicht weitermachen. Gleichzeitig wappnet sich die sechzehnjährige Pen für diesen Tag. Heute wird sie nicht in die Schule gehen, sondern zur Klima-Demo; gemeinsam mit ihrer besten Freundin Alice, in die sie heimlich verknallt ist. Pen hat sich fest vorgenommen, es ihr heute zu sagen, inmitten der beängstigenden Menschenmenge.

Genres: Fiction, Irish Literature, Contemporary, Ireland, LGBT, Literary Fiction, Queer

305 pages, Kindle Edition

Published June 12, 2024

About the author

Emilie Pine is an Associate Professor in Modern Drama at the University College Dublin, and is the author of the No.1 bestseller Notes to Self (Tramp Press).

Reviews

[Paromjit · Rating 5 out of 5]

Emilie Pine's beautiful character driven debut novel immerses the reader in the lives of Ruth Ryan, a counsellor who has focused on building the success of her practice, and 16 year old Pen who lives with her wonderful mother, Claire and younger sister, Soraya. Pen is autistic, someone for whom words do not come easy, more at home in the world of texts and emojis. We follow their lives over one day, 7th October 2019 in a Dublin hosting a climate protest that Pen has taken a day off school to attend with her best friend, Alice. Today is the day Pen is going to take a huge risk, being open, making herself vulnerable, she is going to find the words to tell Alice how she feels about her, as far as she is concerned she is going on a date with Alice, even if Alice doesn't know it. You can feel her ever increasing state of excitement, the way she is loaded with the intensity of her expectations, and I was all too aware that it is unlikely to end well.

We note how broken and raw Ruth feels as we observe just what it takes to get her up and out of her front door, the harrowing pain and anguish of IVF treatment failures, the price it has exacted on her body, her mental health, and now leaving her marriage to Aidan in a state of crisis. Aidan has been cold for some time, is away on a business trip, and choosing not to return immediately, trapped in his own personal state of grief. We learn of how difficult Ruth and Pen find it connecting with others, and their loneliness. It is heartbreaking to see Pen's desperation to not be 'special' and fit in at school, the cruelties of other people and an intolerant world that refuses to see her as 'normal'. This state of affairs is replicated in Ruth, Ruth and Pen are different, in a complicated world where there is no such thing as normal, who and what they are should be normal.

Ruth is there when Pen is experiencing an 'episode' at the gallery, playing an instrumental role in helping her cope. Pen's mother, Claire, is a standout character, her love for Pen shines through, and her wisdom is extraordinary, such as 'You don't always get the thing you wanted.....You get something else instead', this applies to herself, Pen, Ruth and Aidan. This is a superb debut, Pine gets under the skin of her characters of Ruth and Pen, as she astutely paints a picture of the complexities of their interior lives and what it means to not be like others. Ultimately this is an uplifting read as we follow what happens through to the conclusion of the story. A brilliant read that I highly recommend. Many thanks to the publisher for an ARC.

[Ceecee · Rating 5 out of 5]

4-5 rounded up.

Counsellor Ruth fears her marriage to Aidan is over after the strain of several failed rounds of IVF and she needs to make a choice. Pen is desperate to find the words to tell her best friend Alice exactly how she feels but for Pen spoken words do not come easy. This is a story of two people, one day and how their lives briefly connect at a climate change protest in Dublin. Both need to find the inner calm to just be.

This is a beautifully written, intense and very sensitive character study with, for me, the standout character being 16 year old Pen. I just love the words inside her head where she is impressively articulate and her outstanding memory which does stun a few characters she meets on this day. Her portrayal is fantastic, you feel as if the author really gets to the core of her and I love her for who she is. A big shout out for her mother Claire whose loving presence and support is heartwarming. The impact of the IVF on both Ruth and Aidan is powerfully conveyed. It’s raw, emotional and extremely moving and their grief feels palpable. You applaud struggling Ruth for just putting one foot in front of the other.

The author throughout takes us on an emotional journey from pain to love and clearly shows that we can never know what people are feeling on the inside. I really like the ending which feels just right.

With thanks to NetGalley and especially to Penguin General, Hamish Hamilton for the much appreciated arc in return for an honest review.

[Alwynne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Better known as an essay-writer mining aspects of her own life, Emilie Pine’s now turned her attention to fiction. Her debut novel unfolds over a single day in Dublin, in 2019. Pine’s influences range from the obvious Ulysses and Mrs Dalloway to the lesser-known David Park’s Travelling in a strange land. Her story centres on two, seemingly-unconnected women, Ruth who’s 43 and a therapist, and schoolgirl Pen who’s 16 and working out how to negotiate her world. Pine’s chapters move between voices, primarily Ruth’s and Pen’s but also those of people close to them.

Ruth’s narrative builds on Pine’s own experiences with infertility and miscarriage, as well as her research while writer-in-residence at Dublin’s National Maternity Hospital. These experiences have shaken Ruth to the core, leaving her future with husband Aidan uncertain. As she awaits Aidan’s return from a business trip, Ruth’s thoughts are filled with doubts and confusion about what’s next for them. On her journeys through the city, she crosses paths with Pen who’s skipped school to take part in a climate change protest. Pen’s autistic and grappling with what that means for her, she’s also in the throes of first love, and part of her plan for this day is to declare her feelings for her schoolfriend Alice.

Pine’s tightly focused on her characters’ inner thoughts, their self-doubts, miscommunications or sense of being alone - the very things that also link them. But she also presents, particularly in Ruth’s sections, a striking portrait of Dublin itself. It’s a very fluid, readable piece but it’s also slightly uneven. Although there are definite modernist tinges and some excellent passages, there are a number of elements that didn’t quite work for me here. Despite the nods to Woolf and Dickinson, this is ultimately quite a conventional book, that at times reminded me more of work by writers like Maggie O’Farrell and Tessa Hadley. That’s not necessarily a bad thing but it’s also not quite to my taste. There’s also a rather earnest feel to Pen’s episodes, an impression that Pen’s very much a research-based representation of neuro-atypicality: the depiction of her behaviour, her interests in climate change, as well as other traits – suggestive of well-known figures like Greta Thunberg – leans a little towards cliché at times. So, for me, it’s a well-meaning, carefully-constructed portrayal but not always a particularly smooth, or entirely convincing, one.

So overall, I had mixed feelings about this, it’s a fairly well-crafted piece but the pieces don’t always fit together as well as they might, not unusual in a first novel. However, it’s also quite gripping, there are some outstanding passages, some more-than-promising prose, as well as an admirable commitment to dealing with emotionally complex material.

Thanks to Netgalley and publisher Hamish Hamilton for an ARC

Rating: 3/3.5 rounded up

[Gumble's Yard - Golden Reviewer · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book featured in the 2022 version of the influential annual Observer Best Debut Novelist feature (past years have included Natasha Brown, Caleb Azumah Nelson, Douglas Stuart, Sally Rooney and Gail Honeyman among many others).

The author - Emile Pine - is an academic (Professor of Modern Drama at University College Dublin), whose previous publication - “Notes to Self” - a series of deeply personal essays exploring topic including infertility, miscarriage, menstruation and family alcoholism originally published by the brilliant Tramp Press in Ireland - won the 2018 Irish Book of the Year award and went on to become something of an international bestseller.

This, her debut novel, shares a concentration on interior voices and also explores some very similar topics to her essays.

The book is set over a single day in 2019, on the day of the worldwide climate change protests (which took place on 7 December of that year).

The novel follows two largely separate storylines (based around each of the titular characters).

Pen is a neuro-diverse sixteen-year old, still struggling with the aftermath of a bullying event at school and her subsequent relapse into self-cutting - something she explores both with her divorced mother (a University lecturer) and her unnamed therapist. Her one true friend is Alice and she has agreed with Alice to bunk off school and attend the climate change protests, having meticulously planned (without Alice’s knowledge) to turn the day, including a surprise invite to an evening concert, into a first date.

Ruth is in her mid-thirties, married to Aidan but with their marriage straining up to the precipice of dissolution, under the strain of a series of failed attempts at IVF, including a miscarriage of the most successful attempt. Ruth is building a growing therapy practice - her practice partner and closest friend off on maternity leave. On the day Aidan has unexpectedly stayed over in London the night after a business trip, and while he makes his way back Ruth has to go alone to a hospital check up on uterine fibroids.

I must admit I found that both storylines took their time to interest me. Pen’s initial sections - with details of the bullying she experiences, and of her habits (stimming, an obsession with Latin and with English idioms), as well as her beliefs around the urgency of climate action, felt rather over-familiar from teenage fiction.

And Ruth’s sections seemed to lack any real draw.

This did improve over time - mainly I felt as we also got to explore the interior viewpoints of Alice (who has her own wants and struggles - particularly around the very concept of being touched by others) and of Aidan (himself really struggling with both the increasing reality of his and Ruth’s inability to have children and with what he perceives to be Ruth’s passive acceptance of that situation)

The stories overlap physically via a couple of encounters which are I would say are pleasingly fleeting but still importantly empathetic.

What is more impressive is how the storylines increasingly overlap thematically.

Ultimately, via both major characters but also via the Alice and Aidan, this is a book around the ideas of: consequential/milestone life decisions; of how to mentally and verbally explore complex and ambiguous feelings; and most of all of how to shape (particularly female) self-identity when one’s aspired identity is challenged both by circumstances and by the equally difficult identity choices of others.

Overall this is an interesting novel which rewards perseverance.

My thanks to Penguin General UK for an ARC via NetGalley

[Chris · Rating 5 out of 5]

Update: I'm giving this 5 stars after all. I simply liked it too much for 4 stars.

4 stars so far, but maybe I’ll change it to 5 later one as I just can’t get Pen and Ruth out of my head. This is a beautiful debut about love, vulnerability, honesty, and being; it’s about life really.
Thank you Hamish Hamilton and Netgalley UK for the ARC.

[Joachim Stoop · Rating 3 out of 5]

In 3 months I will see this title and deeply wonder if I've read it or not. There are real people and problems at its core, but almost all the dialogues and inner monologues about daily and wordly issues (climate, teenage and marital crisis) are so average and unoriginal.

[Lotte · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5/5 oh, this pulled at my heartstrings in the best way

[Mewa · Rating 4 out of 5]

„Pen z chę­cią na­pi­sa­ła­by pod­ręcz­nik o sile cha­rak­te­ru i jesz­cze o wy­trzy­ma­ło­ści, w któ­rym wy­ja­śni­ła­by, że te po­ję­cia ist­nie­ją tylko po to, żeby inni lu­dzie mogli się uwa­żać za lep­szych. Tacie tego nie mówi. Nie tłu­ma­czy, że wy­trzy­ma­łość to tak na­praw­dę sko­ru­pa, którą trze­ba się opan­ce­rzyć, by inni nie mogli zaj­rzeć do środ­ka. Ani że wy­trzy­ma­łość jest wy­mów­ką, bo lu­dziom po pro­stu się nie chce wy­cią­gnąć po­moc­nej dłoni – nie-​narażać-cię-na-atak. Nie mówi też, że siła cha­rak­te­ru w za­my­śle ma spra­wić, by lu­dzie, któ­rzy wy­py­cha­ją in­nych w świat, gdzie cią­gle ktoś kogoś krzyw­dzi, po pro­stu po­czu­li się le­piej. Ta­kich rze­czy nie wolno po­wie­dzieć, bo kto tak mówi, nie jest wy­trzy­ma­ły.“

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

Somewhere between 3 - 3.5

I loved Emilie Pine's debut Notes to Self so was intrigued when I saw she had written a novel. In many ways Ruth & Pen tackles similar themes - a character struggling with a miscarriage, the relationship women have with their bodies, the intricacies of close personal relationships - and the writing is often similarly excellent. I said of Pine's essay collection that she vocalised thoughts and feelings I have/have had but wasn't quite able to acknowledge myself until I saw it written on the page, and I think this transferred well to Ruth & Pen with the internal thoughts of the main characters feeling scarily real at times. The way Ruth and Pen's stories (and how they converge) are cleverly told, and meant the novel read very quickly.

All that said, something held me back from really enjoying this and from it being a 4* read... and identifying what that something was is a little harder to put my finger on! All the other reviews of this are more positive than mine, so if this sounds like it'd be up your street then I'd definitely recommend giving it a try.

Thank you Netgalley and Penguin UK for the advance copy, which was provided in exchange for an honest review.

[merixien · Rating 3 out of 5]

Bazen denemelerini ya da anılarını okumayı çok sevdiğimiz yazarların hep bir kurgu eser de vermesini bekliyoruz. İşte bu kitap, “bunu neden beklememeliyiz”in cevabı oldu benim için.

Kendime Notlar’ı okuduğumda bayılmıştım, hayatıyla bu kadar dürüst ve açıkça yüzleşebilmesi, kendini anlatabilmesi ilham verici gelmişti. Bu yüzden de beklentim çok yüksekti ve yıkılmam da aynı ihtişamdaydı. İki farklı jenerasyona ait ve farklı dertlere sahip iki kadının Dublin’de geçirdikleri hayatlarının 24 saatlik bir dilimini anlatıyor. Ama Kendime Notlar’da bayıldığım her yönüyle hayatını ele alışı bu kitapta küçük bir sınava döndü benim için. Dublin sokakları, ilişkilerin karmaşası, iklim kabusu, aktivist gençler, infertilite, neurodivergent olmak, normal kavramı, baba sorunları vb pek çok konuya bir anda maruz kalıyorsunuz. İşin kötü yanıysa kitap duygularınıza tam bir rollercoaster hissi yaşatıyor. Bazı noktalarda kitap yavaş yavaş hoşunuza gitmeye başlıyor, tam keyif almaya geçiyorsunuz ama yine o yoğunluğun duvarına vuruyorsunuz. Çünkü devamlı bambaşka bir sorun ve dikkat etmeniz gereken önemli noktalar olduğuyla ilgili uyarılıyorsunuz. Açıkçası daha rahat okunan ya da daha kompleks bir kitap değil yalnızca bitirdiğimde keyif aldığım bir kitap olmasını bekliyordum. Ben sevemedim. Tanıtımlarında Ulysses başta olmak üzere İrlanda edebiyatından önemli eserlere küçük küçük selamlar verdiğini görmüştüm, lakin muhtemelen Ulysses’i okumadığım için onları da yakalayamadım, kitap her açıdan eksik kaldı bende.

[Anastasiia Mozghova · Rating 5 out of 5]

wow, Emilie Pine has resurrected my faith in modern novels, their potential and capabilities.

this is a brilliant book: well-written, attentive to details, careful, daring enough to focus on subjects that are underrepresented in literature (autism, miscarriage, asexuality, grief). please do read it!

[Banu Yıldıran Genç · Rating 3 out of 5]

maalesef “kaç ya da kal” çok sevdiğim bir kitap olmadı. iki ayrı hayatın anlatıldığını biliyorum ama ben bir biçimde en azından bir noktada ortak ilerliyor sanıyordum bazı şeyler, öyle değilmiş.
beğenmememin sebebi bu değil elbette, bu sadece benim beklentimmiş ama emilie pine kafa yorduğu her şeyi keşke bir romana yedirmeye çalışmasaymış.
bizim kuşak hele de benim ebeveyn ve öğretmen olmam sebebiyle zaten z kuşağıyla sorun yaşıyoruz yani pen’in tüm bunlar dışında bir de otizmli olması, klasik ilgisiz baba sendromu, okulda yaşadığı zorbalıklar… hepsi şart mıydı dedim.
öbür tarafa gelirsek ruth gibi bir insanın kocasıyla yaşadığı konuşamamazlık hali, üstüne üstlük bebeği olmayacağı için yaşadığı bu kriz beni hiç ikna etmedi. ikna etmemenin ötesinde dublinli bir psikoloğun arkadaşının bebeğini gördüğünde girdiği ruh hali sinirlendirirdi. hadi bunlar doğal içgüdüler diyelim roman boyunca mükemmel çizilen aiden’ın çocuk konusunda doğu anadolulu bir aşiret lideri kesilmesine inanamadım.
romanda bu evlilikle ilgili tek güzel şey ruth’un onu bir güzel aldatmış olması. sorry not sorry.
her şeyini öğrendiğimiz ve fazlasıyla hassas bu iki karakterin dublin’deki iklim krizi karşıtı gösteride sadece iki kez birer an karşılaşmış olması, sonda ruth’un kıskandığı yeni anne arkadaşının pen’in annesinin de arkadaşı olması dışında romanı iki ayrı roman olmaktan kurtaran pek bir organik bağ yok gibi. biz iki hayatı da ayrı ayrı okusak hiçbir şey kaybetmezdik. bir ara pen’in hep andığı kadın terapist ruth mu dedim, yoo o da değilmiş.
sonuç olarak beklentimi karşılamayan bir roman oldu. bu beceriksiz her şeyi ama her şeyi takan ilişki özürlü z kuşağı romanlara karakter olmaya başladı, bu sanırım iyi bir şey. ama bu kuşak büyüyünce nasıl survive edecek, hiç bilmiyorum.
romanın en tatlı karakteri pen’in annesi claire’di, allah sabır versin dedim ki cidden vermiş sanki :))

[Yaprak · Rating 3 out of 5]

İrlandalı yazar Emilie Pine'dan okuduğum ikinci kitap oldu Kaç ya da Kal. Yazarın daha önce Kendime Notlar kitabını okumuş ve çok sevmiştim. O deneme türündeyken, Ruth & Pen yazarın ilk romanı. Kitapta farklı yaşta iki kadının bir gününe tanıklık ediyoruz. Her bölüm zaman çizelgesiyle birbirinden ayrılıyor. Kimi zaman Ruth'un zihnine kimi zaman Pen'in zihnine ve yaşadıklarına konuk oluyoruz. Onların hayatlarındaki insanlara, zorlandıkları meselelere tanıklık ederken bazı anlarda da onların hayatlarındaki insanların aklından geçenleri okuyoruz. Kitap kadınlık, ergenlik, iklim krizi, terapi süreçleri, ilişki yürütmenin zorlukları gibi çok farklı konuya temas ediyor. Bu kadar farklı konuya temas ediyor olması kitabın güçlü yanı olabilecekken ne yazık ki onu zayıflatan yönü oluyor. Çok fazla tadı bir arada bulunduran bir yemek yiyormuşum gibi hissettim. Çok lezzetli olabilirdi. Keşke sadece tatlı ya da tuzlu ya da her neyse o tat baskın olsaydı diye geçirdim aklımdan. Yazar sanki kendi hayatında hassas olduğu her konuya kitabında biraz yer vermek istemiş gibi hissettim. Bu da biraz hem okuma zevkimi baltaladı hem de az önce de dediğim gibi kitabı benim için zayıf kıldı. Yine de kötü bir roman diyemem. Naif, kırılgan bir kitap bu. Yetişkin bir kadının gözünden de, ergen ve otizmli bir kızın gözünden de hayata bakabilmeyi kendince başarabilmiş bir kitap. Ancak dediğim gibi arkasında benim için kırık bir keşke bıraktı. Yine de bu kitabı kısa bir sürede bizlerle buluşturan canım Medusa Yayınları'nı pek seviyorum. Son olarak bebeğini kaybetmiş, anne olmaya çalışan kadın okurlar için tetikleyici unsurlar barındırdığını da eklemek isterim.

[Natalia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Emilie Pine meandruje między trudnymi emocjami, w zaskakujący sposób dostarczając przy tym niesamowitą dawkę ciepła. I chociaż nie odnajduję się w doświadczeniu bohaterek, a ta rwana równoległa narracja chwilami była przytłaczająca to te perfekcyjnie zarysowane postacie Ruth i Pen sprawiły, że nie mogłam się od tej książki oderwać.

"w pełni sobą można być tylko wtedy, gdy dopuści się do siebie innych ludzi, pozwoli by nas zobaczyli "

[Simay Yildiz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bir nevi “feminist Ulysses” olduğuna ayınca daha bir heyecanlandım! Ruth’un hikayesi de “Evet.” diye bitiyor, o derece. 7 Ekim’de, tek bir gün içinde geçen hikayeleri 6-7 Ekim’de okuyup bitirmem de hayatta sevdiğim türden tesadüflerden biri oldu… 16 yaşında otizmli bir kız olan Pen ve 40’lı yaşlarındaki terapist Ruth’un gününe eşlik ediyoruz. Yolları becerikli bir şekilde iki kez kesiştirilen bu karakterlerin farklı farklı dertleri var. Duyguları, düşüncelerinin akışında iklim krizi, insanların ne kadar gaddar olabileceği, çoğunluğun “normal” kabul ettiği özelliklere sahip olmayanların dışlanması ve zorbalık görmesi, kadın ve erkeklerin bedenleriyle olan ilişkilerinin nasıl bambaşka olduğu gibi konular da var. Bitirdikten sonra gördüğüm yorumlarda bu konuların yeterince derinleştirilmemesinden hoşlanmayanlar olmuş. Onlar da haklı ama yazarın seçtiği anlatım tarzı göz önünde bulundurulunca böyle olması bana daha gerçekçi geldi. Aşk acısı çekiyorken “sokarım iklim krizine” demez mi insan? Ben derim, dedim. Dublin’i gitmiş, görmüş, hayatın orda nasıl ilerlediğini az çok biliyor olsam daha da etkilenirdim gibi hissediyorum. ‘Kendime Notlar’ı okumamıştım bu arada, yeni sipariş ettim. Yazarın okuduğum ilk kitabı olduğu için haliyle karşılaştırma yapamıyorum.

[Sandra · Rating 5 out of 5]

Das Buch erzählt einen Tag aus dem Leben der Therapeutin Ruth und des Teenagers Pen. Beide sind für sich an schwierigen Punkten, fast kleinen Wendepunkten ihres Lebens. Für beide spielt dabei eine Person, die sie lieben eine große Rolle.

Pine lotet gekonnt das Innenleben beider Frauen aus und nimmt aber für uns auch manchmal die Perspektive der von ihnen geliebten Menschen ein, um das Gesamtbild der Situationen deutlicher zu machen. Die Charaktere bekommen sehr schnell- aber im Laufe des Buches auch immer mehr- Tiefe und Nachvollziehbarkeit. Themen wie ungewollte Kinderlosigkeit, künstliche Befruchtung und Fehlgeburten werde mit großer Sensibilität und Empathie beleuchtet und dargestellt. Auch "Anderssein" und "nicht Hineinpassen" werden, durch Pens Kapitel, wunderbar thematisch umgesetzt.

Für mich war das ein absolut lohnendes Buch, das ich mit großer Freude und hoher Anteilnahme gelesen habe.

[Royce · Rating 4 out of 5]

Over the course of one day, or 6:19 a.m. to 1:15 a.m to be precise, the story of Ruth, the therapist and Pen, the sixteen- year-old teenager (with autism) unfolds. As we learn of Ruth’s struggles to get pregnant and carry a baby to term, her relationship with her husband falling apart because of the strain of both of them wanting a child and having a family. While Pen heads to a protest for climate change with her best friend and love interest, Alice. The story alternates between both main characters, with some of the minor characters (Aidan, Ruth’s husband and Claire, Pen’s mother and Alice) chiming in where relevant to the story. The brilliance in the storytelling lies in the way in which Emilie Pine pulls the reader into the character’s minds so profoundly. As you read, you feel what the characters feel. The pain, the heartache, the sadness. Most importantly, this is a story about love….or as Emilie Pine writes “this is what love looks like in real life…..YOU ARE ENOUGH.” At the end of the day, that is what everyone wants to hear from the person they love.

Two side notes/tidbits—-1) I learned the name of something I love to do with words. It’s called tmesis. “When you split a word….with another word in the middle,” for example “abso-fucking-lutely.”

2) The two main characters’ paths cross during the day, which I thought was clever and fantastic! And, towards the end of the novel, the name of Pen’s mother’s best friend is revealed. It is Lisa. Lisa happens to be Ruth’s business partner and friend as well. Two degrees of separation!

Finally, the only reason I gave this book a four star rating instead of a fabulous five star rating, is the ending. I felt it was a bit unsatisfying. All of my mishagosh (sp.) aside, I highly recommend reading this immersive, brilliant, well-written story.

[Jasmin (leaf.and.literature) · Rating 3 out of 5]

3,5

[magdalena · Rating 5 out of 5]

4,75
będę o niej myśleć. jest jeden bohater, którego nie mogłam znieść, ale nie mogę ocenić książki ze względu na bohatera, który jest taki, jaki miał być, bo to widać. i tacy ludzie są.

myślę, że pozwala rozumieć i kogoś i siebie i jakie to wszystko jest pogmatwane. ale w końcu da się zaakceptować, cieszyć, być

[Marijana☕✨ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ruth i Pen imaju dva kraća susreta tokom jednog dana koji nam kroz spektar emocija približava njihove živote. Ruth je psihoterapeut u ranim četrdesetim i proživljava bračnu i opštu krizu nakon nekoliko neuspešnih veštačkih oplodnji. Pen je autistična tinejdžerka koja je zaljubljena u svoju najbolju drugaricu Alice, anksiozna je zbog klimatskih promena i uopšte svog mesta u svetu koji teško prihvata sve koji su drugačiji.
Emilie Pine ume da napiše likove i da prodre u srž problema. Ne mogu da kažem da ću naročito zapamtiti ovaj roman i ovo je jedna slabija četvorka, ali dopalo mi se i vredno je pažnje.

[Patrycja Krotowska · Rating 5 out of 5]

Pomyślcie o swoim dniu. O takim dniu, w którym wydarzyło się lub ma się wydarzyć coś emocjonalnie istotnego; coś, co sprawia, że wasze myśli analizują różne scenariusze; coś, przez co rozmawiacie sami ze sobą; coś, co żyje w waszej głowie czy waszym sercu od jakiegoś czasu i właśnie się urzeczywistnia - przez jakieś słowo, przez jakąś rozmowę, jakąś decyzję, nieporozumienie, odrzucenie, kłótnię, niezgodę. Pomyślcie o takim dniu nie w kontekście tego, co robicie, ale w kontekście wszystkich myśli, autorefleksji, odczuć, jakie wam tego dnia towarzyszą - te wszystkie uświadomienia, autoterapeutyczne dialogi (monologi?), przekonania, które zmieniają się w miarę upływu dnia pod wpływem wydarzeń, ten czas świadomie spędzany z sobą. O takich wewnętrznych głosach jednego dnia pisze Emilie Pine w swoim debiucie prozatorskim. "Ruth & Pen" to refleksyjny zapis jednego dnia z życia Ruth - kobiety po 30-stce, której małżeństwo napotyka pewną barierę, oraz Pen - 16-latki w spektrum autyzmu, która czuje coś więcej niż przyjaźń wobec swojej przyjaciółki. Bohaterki się nie znają, dzieli je wszystko, a łączy tylko ten jeden październikowy dzień 2019 roku.

To cicha i kameralna proza o tematach, które Pine poruszała już w swoich esejach, do których to w debiucie dokłada czułą reprezentację neuroróżnorodności. Emocjonalna podróż, niesamowicie precyzyjne studium postaci, opowieść o poczuciu niepasowania, o pragnieniach (macierzyństwa, pożądania, "czegoś więcej") i tęsknocie za czymś niedoświadczonym, o konsekwencjach życiowych decyzji i niedecyzji, o wpływie okoliczności na budowanie (przebudowywanie?) własnej tożsamości, o często błędnych założeniach na temat uczuć i relacji, o istotności komunikacji przy jednoczesnej trudności mentalizacji i werbalizacji niejednoznacznych uczuć. O miłości, smutku, rozczarowaniach, traumach i różnych formach rozpaczy. I nadziei, niepewnej, ale nadziei. Taka fabularna "nuda", z którą jest mi wyjątkowo dobrze.

Jest to piękna, kontrolowana proza o tym "how we navigate our inner and outer landscapes" (za opisem, w którym jestem zakochana). Gorąco polecam, 5/5, mam nadzieję, że ten niesamowity debiut pojawi się po polsku.

TW: IVF, poronienie

[Ormondebooks · Rating 5 out of 5]

I started & finished this beautiful book within 24 hours. Emilie Pines debut collection of essays 𝘕𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘚𝘦𝘭𝘧 was a favourite of mine and 𝘙𝘶𝘵𝘩 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘗𝘦𝘯 is her debut novel. ⁣
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Ruth & Pen (Penelope) are two unconnected women living in Dublin. Ruth is a counsellor, married to Aidan. They’ve just completed another unsuccessful round of IVF. Their marriage is under strain & Ruth fears Aidan will leave her. Pen is a neurodivergent 16 year old, who wishes she could communicate with the world via emojis as “𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘥”. She has a different way of thinking & experiencing the world. She is also in love with her best friend Alice. The book is a day in the life of both women as their paths briefly cross during a climate change protest in Dublin city centre. ⁣
⁣
Pen is a riveting character. She finds it impossible to form relationships & communicate with her peers. Her life is driven by routine. Ruth & Aidan are losing more of each other as each IVF cycle fails. Both women reach a crisis point in their relationships. ⁣
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To say I loved this book is an understatement. Pine writes candidly about the meaning of love, pain & motherhood & living in an unaccommodating world. She really gets inside the head of Ruth & Pen to show us the world from their perspective: a woman desperate to be a mother in a world full of mothers & babies & a teenager who only wants to be accepted as she is. ⁣
⁣
She writes in a fluid, eloquent style, never overblown & always controlled, finely tuned into the interior world of both protagonists. How’s this for a line? “𝘗𝘦𝘯 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬, 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦 𝘪𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺’𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯 “. This is a deeply moving, emotional, cathartic novel & is due to be published on 5 May 2022. A book to treasure.
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Many thanks to @netgalley, @penguinbooksuk and @vikingbooksuk for this advance ebook in return for my honest review.

[Berta · Rating 5 out of 5]

un llibre q explica la història (d’un dia) de la ruth i la pen i que només amb el primer capítol ja t’atrapa (almenys a mi) 🥹
m’ha agradat moltíssim com l’autora ha sapigut descriure tan bé les emocions de tots els personatges, a part de tots els detalls que li donen sentit a la història i els temes sobre els quals gira el llibre, 10/10 🌟

[Hally · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.75

I must say, I did well choosing this book to read on my trip to Dublin. Emilie Pine knows the city inside out, and it was fun to read a contemporary novel set there whilst visiting. On top of this, I coincidentally came across an author's talk by Pine whilst visiting the Museum of Literature Ireland. She was so down-to-earth and warm, plus her explanation of how she wrote the novel was fascinating. I'm glad I didn't trick myself into thinking I was going to read Ulysses there instead, and loved the subtle Joycean influences in an otherwise very contemporary book focusing on girls and women.

The story is told through alternating chapters, focusing on Ruth, a counsellor struggling with the trauma of IVF treatment failures, and Pen, a sixteen year old girl who is autistic, and in love with her best friend Alice. The events take place over a single day, during a climate protest in the city centre. Ruth and Pen's stories overlap subtly.

I loved the exploration of loneliness and connection within the city. How pain, rejection and failure can be so unbearably isolating but also somehow connect you to everyone else through their inevitability and universality. The importance of allowing yourself to feel and sit with pain and emotion is what I took away.

The 'Pen' chapters are at times very YA, which is a little strange as the novel feels a bit like two books in one. Emilie Pine said she loves Pen, and this really comes across. My favourite wise words from Pen, that really made me think:

''What did you want from another person, was it the same or bigger than what you wanted from yourself?'' (!)

If you are vulnerable, then you need protection. This makes sense to Pen, but her dad says that everyone just needs to toughen up. Grit, that's what he thinks they all need. Pen thinks she could write a handbook about grit or that other thing, resilience, and that in this handbook she would explain that these words only exist to make other people feel bigger. But she doesn't say this back to him. She doesn't say that what people call resilience is actually just a shell you build so that no one can see you on the inside. She doesn't say that resilience is an excuse, for people who don't want to actually do the thing that would help you not-be-vulnerable. She doesn't say that grit is actually an idea to make other people feel better for sending you out into the world to get hurt, over and over. None of this is said because then you were not being resilient.

And this, that I found really interesting, having autistic friends who love to read:

Pen ''likes how reading gives you time to think, that emotions don't change if they're written down'' whilst Pen's neurotypical mum Claire ''sees words as ways to join the world, and not, like Pen does, as a kind of space.''

Just lots of great stuff in here really, including about how people ''don't always get the thing you wanted.....You get something else instead.''

Trigger warnings: self harm, miscarriage (graphic).

[hopeforbooks · Rating 4 out of 5]

W „Ruth i Pen” Emilie Pine (tł. Olga Dziedzic) akcja toczy się dwutorowo. Poznajemy dzień z życia dwóch kobiet i towarzyszmy im przez kolejne godziny. Dla obu jest to przełomowy dzień, w którym muszą podjąć ważne decyzje. 16-letnia Pen w spektrum autyzmu postanawia zaprosić swoją przyjaciółkę na randkę, natomiast Ruth musi podjąć decyzję, czy ratować swoje małżeństwo.

W „Ruth i Pen” mamy całe mnóstwo poruszonych tematów - jest tutaj pierwsza miłość, bycie w spektrum autyzmu, ataki paniki, kryzys klimatyczny, bezpłodność, problemy z zajściem w ciążę, poronienia, rozpadające się małżeństwo.

Emile Pine poruszyła wiele ważnych tematów i mi podobała się ich realizacja, choć chciałabym, aby część z nich była bardziej pogłębiona. Mam wrażenie, że zostało upchnięte tu zbyt wiele problemów jak na zaledwie 230 stron. I pod koniec, gdy działo się dużo rzeczy, bardzo krótkie rozdziały i przeskakująca perspektywa wybijały mnie z rytmu.

I to tyle z zarzutów. Bo koniec końców uważam „Ruth i Pen” za świetną powieść, która zawiera wiele ciekawych przemyśleń i skłania do refleksji. Emilie Pnie wykreowała bardzo ludzkie bohaterki, z którymi się zżyłam i zaangażowałam w ich losy. Szczególnie przejmująca okazała się dla mnie perspektywa Ruth.

W „Ruth i Pen” mamy szansę poznać kawałek życia bohaterek, ich myśli i emocje, które nimi targają w ciągu jednego dnia. Proza Pine jest pełna czułości i zrozumienia. Do mnie trafiła!

[angelinakahlo · Rating 4 out of 5]

What do a therapist in her forties, dealing with the aftermath of a miscarriage and a student on the spectrum, who is willing to confess her love to her bestfriend have in common?
Although the two characters Ruth and Pen only have a short encounter on the 7th of October, somehow their lifes are intertwined in a beautiful way.
"Ruth & Pen" deals with the fatal results of climate change, the beginning and end of relationships and different mental health issues, which makes it a very relevant novel for everything that is happening in our world right now!

[MarinaLawliett · Rating 3 out of 5]

*7*

Sentimientos encontrados, no me ha acabado de encantar, pero hay momentos que me han hecho sentir y pensar MUCHO!!!

#clubcoquette

[Lieze Doyen · Rating 3 out of 5]

The definitions of love that this book gives are inclusive, hopeful and heartwarming

[Ania · Rating 3 out of 5]

,,Co jest lep­sze? Nie­speł­nio­ne pra­gnie­nia czy mniej pla­nów, które jed­nak da się zre­ali­zo­wać? Czego bar­dziej się wsty­dzisz? Czy Pen ma po­wo­dy do wsty­du? „Każdy sobie z czymś nie radzi – za­zna­czy­ła na po­cząt­ku pani-​od-terapii. – Dźwi­ga jakiś cię­żar”."

„Ruth i Pen” to historia jednego dnia i dwóch kobiet, bohaterki poznajemy w sytuacji w której podjąć muszą ważne dla nich decyzje. Ruth zmaga się z bezpłodnością, po wielu nieudanych próbach zapłodnienia, podjęła decyzję o zaprzestaniu leczenia, z którą nie zgadza się jej partner. Ich historię poznajemy z dwóch punktów widzenia, mamy tu narrację Ruth i jej męża – Aidena, oboje są nieszczęśliwi i zmęczeni, zastanawiają się czy warto dalej być razem. Natomiast Pen to szesnastolatka w spektrum autyzmu, jest zakochana w swojej przyjaciółce i poznajemy ją w momencie, w którym postanawia wyznać swoje uczucia. I tu znowu pojawiają się dwie narracje, najpierw poznajemy Pen, a później te same sytuacje onserwujemy z punkt widzenia Alice.

Mam bardzo mieszane uczucia co do tej książki. Jest tu wszystko co lubię – świetne bohaterki, tętniący życiem Dublin, skomplikowane uczucia i relacje, no i po prostu życie. Mam jednak wrażenie, że wszystko zadziało się tu i zbyt wolno i zbyt szybko, bo Pine poświęciła dużo czas na opisanie całego dnia, a ten najważniejszy moment to dosłownie kilka stron. Rozumiem, że taki miał być zamysł, jednak mnie osobiście nie do końca to przekonuje i zaburza mój odbiór książki. Brakło mi tu wgłębienia się temat, pociągnięcia niektórych wątków – autorka porusza bardzo ważne tematy, które potraktowane zostały „na szybko”, co po trochę psuje mi całą historię. „Ruth i Pen” będę wspominać dobrze, ale bez szału.

Tłumaczenie Olga Dziedzic

[e. · Rating 5 out of 5]

brilliant!!! go and read it folks

"it is everything pen knows and thinks and feels and it is not an answer to alice's question, but it is all she can think to give. because this is what love looks like in real life. 'you are enough'."