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Hardy Women: Mother, Sisters, Wives, Muses
Thomas Hardy once received a fan letter from a young woman in New York, who had read Tess of the D’Urbervilles: “I wonder at your complete understanding of a woman’s soul.” And yet his first wife said “He understands only the women he invents―the others not at all.”
How was it that the novelist who created some of the most memorable and modern female characters in literature had such troubled relationships with real women?
In this highly innovative book, acclaimed biographer Paula Byrne re-examines Hardy’s life through the eyes of the women who made him―mother, sisters, girlfriends, wives, muses. The story veers from shocking scenes such as his obsession with the sight of a woman hanged, to poignant vignettes of unfulfilled passion, to fascinating details of working women’s lives in the nineteenth century. Paula Byrne reveals that it is through hardy women that we can enter into the heart of the great novelist and poet.
How was it that the novelist who created some of the most memorable and modern female characters in literature had such troubled relationships with real women?
In this highly innovative book, acclaimed biographer Paula Byrne re-examines Hardy’s life through the eyes of the women who made him―mother, sisters, girlfriends, wives, muses. The story veers from shocking scenes such as his obsession with the sight of a woman hanged, to poignant vignettes of unfulfilled passion, to fascinating details of working women’s lives in the nineteenth century. Paula Byrne reveals that it is through hardy women that we can enter into the heart of the great novelist and poet.
656 pages, Hardcover
Published February 1, 2024
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403 people want to read
About the author
Paula Byrne
16 books149 followersPaula Byrne is a British author and biographer. She is married to writer Jonathan Bate, the Shakespeare scholar.
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Displaying 1 - 22 of 22 reviews
August 18, 2024
English writer Thomas Hardy is often associated with memorable female characters; Tess from Tess of the d’Urbervilles, Bathsheba Everdene in Far from the Madding Crowd or Sue Bridehead in Jude the Obscure. Characters made more memorable by numerous film and television adaptations. Who can forget how brilliantly the actress Nastassja Kinski played Tess in the film of the same name. Author Paula Byrne has structured her study of Thomas Hardy around the women who inspired and obsessed him. The book has 71 chapters, all but one of which is named after a woman, and including a handful about the Hardy’s fictional characters.
Her prologue hooks the reader. Hardy was a very private man, fearful of what later biographers might say about him. So much so that in 1918 he burnt pages of manuscripts, notebooks, reviews and correspondence. The destruction was driven by the diary kept by his first wife Emma, which his second wife Florence compared with her own, “…but when I remember the awful diary that the first Mrs T. H. kept full of venom, hatred, and abuse of him and his family I am afraid to do more than chronicle facts.” Florence and Hardy collaborated on a secret work. Hardy wrote his own biography for publication after his death, written in the third person and to be branded as his ‘official’ biography by Florence.
One of the insights that did survive from Hardy’s first wife was that “He understands only the women he invents – the others not at all.” Hardy Women divides Hardy’s life and the women he encountered into age periods, beginning with childhood and the mother, sisters and cousins who played a part in the writer’s early development. Even here things are not straightforward, since the list also includes other influences such as land owners, philanthropists and even a woman that Hardy witness being hung for the murder of her husband. The unexpected links are fascinating. Themes of drunken husbands and domestic violence appear again and again, and very soon we see numerous topics that reoccur in Hardy’s novels. Things he saw all too often in his youth.
After the childhood sections, we move to Hardy’s period of apprenticeship before setting off around England to periods spent in London, Weymouth, and Cornwall. This is followed by detailed sections about the women Hardy created in his novels, so often amalgams of many of the women he knew in real life.
Although Hardy Women is obviously about the women who influenced Hardy’s life, this does mean that we lose a little balance in the picture of his childhood. His father is a minor character and one who only appears because his wife frequently chides his lack of ambition. In contrast Hardy’s friend Horace Moule, a brilliant young scholar who tutored Hardy as a boy and encouraged him as a writer, is the only male character to have a chapter in the book where the seventy others are named after a woman. While Moule encouraged Hardy, he also counselled him against applying to study at Cambridge, a rejection that Hardy would later channel into his novel Jude the Obscure. It was the last novel that he wrote - in 1895. Between 1898 and his death in 1928 Hardy put together eight collections of poetry.
It is easy to come away from this book with a poor view of Hardy; as a flirt, as a user of women and someone happy to apply some of the double standards that he bestowed on many of the male characters in his novels. While still married to his first wife, Hardy attempted to seduce a young writer Florence Henniker. Her gentle rejection of his wish to kiss her was the inspiration for some of Hardy’s better poetry. But his double standard of supporting women’s emancipation and modern views seems at odds with his own lascivious thoughts. Filled with spite at Florence’s rejection Hardy wrote a story called An Imaginative Woman in which there are multiple similarities to his failures with Florence.
The final section of the book is dominated by Hardy’s first wife Emma. First by her increasingly odd behaviour, then by her declining health, and finally by her death, which had a profound effect on Hardy. Having been unhappy in his marriage for many years, Emma’s death seemed to push Hardy to remember only the brief good times and forget the misery of the majority. He had already found himself a replacement in Florence Dugdale, a writer of children’s stories who eventually became the second Mrs Hardy. In a strange turn of events Florence found herself living with the Hardys, working as an assistant to Thomas while befriending Emma.
In many people’s mind Hardy is primarily a novelist, although the truth is that he spent many more years writing poetry following the rough reception of his novel Jude the Obscure in 1895. He spent the next thirty years producing eight collections of poetry. His second wife Florence made a very astute observation about his poetry; noting that he had become so infatuated by the beautiful young actress playing Tess in a local theatre production that he was inspired to write new poems “always a sign of well-being with him. Needless to say it is a dismal poem.”
Her prologue hooks the reader. Hardy was a very private man, fearful of what later biographers might say about him. So much so that in 1918 he burnt pages of manuscripts, notebooks, reviews and correspondence. The destruction was driven by the diary kept by his first wife Emma, which his second wife Florence compared with her own, “…but when I remember the awful diary that the first Mrs T. H. kept full of venom, hatred, and abuse of him and his family I am afraid to do more than chronicle facts.” Florence and Hardy collaborated on a secret work. Hardy wrote his own biography for publication after his death, written in the third person and to be branded as his ‘official’ biography by Florence.
One of the insights that did survive from Hardy’s first wife was that “He understands only the women he invents – the others not at all.” Hardy Women divides Hardy’s life and the women he encountered into age periods, beginning with childhood and the mother, sisters and cousins who played a part in the writer’s early development. Even here things are not straightforward, since the list also includes other influences such as land owners, philanthropists and even a woman that Hardy witness being hung for the murder of her husband. The unexpected links are fascinating. Themes of drunken husbands and domestic violence appear again and again, and very soon we see numerous topics that reoccur in Hardy’s novels. Things he saw all too often in his youth.
After the childhood sections, we move to Hardy’s period of apprenticeship before setting off around England to periods spent in London, Weymouth, and Cornwall. This is followed by detailed sections about the women Hardy created in his novels, so often amalgams of many of the women he knew in real life.
Although Hardy Women is obviously about the women who influenced Hardy’s life, this does mean that we lose a little balance in the picture of his childhood. His father is a minor character and one who only appears because his wife frequently chides his lack of ambition. In contrast Hardy’s friend Horace Moule, a brilliant young scholar who tutored Hardy as a boy and encouraged him as a writer, is the only male character to have a chapter in the book where the seventy others are named after a woman. While Moule encouraged Hardy, he also counselled him against applying to study at Cambridge, a rejection that Hardy would later channel into his novel Jude the Obscure. It was the last novel that he wrote - in 1895. Between 1898 and his death in 1928 Hardy put together eight collections of poetry.
It is easy to come away from this book with a poor view of Hardy; as a flirt, as a user of women and someone happy to apply some of the double standards that he bestowed on many of the male characters in his novels. While still married to his first wife, Hardy attempted to seduce a young writer Florence Henniker. Her gentle rejection of his wish to kiss her was the inspiration for some of Hardy’s better poetry. But his double standard of supporting women’s emancipation and modern views seems at odds with his own lascivious thoughts. Filled with spite at Florence’s rejection Hardy wrote a story called An Imaginative Woman in which there are multiple similarities to his failures with Florence.
The final section of the book is dominated by Hardy’s first wife Emma. First by her increasingly odd behaviour, then by her declining health, and finally by her death, which had a profound effect on Hardy. Having been unhappy in his marriage for many years, Emma’s death seemed to push Hardy to remember only the brief good times and forget the misery of the majority. He had already found himself a replacement in Florence Dugdale, a writer of children’s stories who eventually became the second Mrs Hardy. In a strange turn of events Florence found herself living with the Hardys, working as an assistant to Thomas while befriending Emma.
In many people’s mind Hardy is primarily a novelist, although the truth is that he spent many more years writing poetry following the rough reception of his novel Jude the Obscure in 1895. He spent the next thirty years producing eight collections of poetry. His second wife Florence made a very astute observation about his poetry; noting that he had become so infatuated by the beautiful young actress playing Tess in a local theatre production that he was inspired to write new poems “always a sign of well-being with him. Needless to say it is a dismal poem.”
May 4, 2024
A biography of a great writer but told through the women in his life, both real and fictional. I liked that idea a lot and Paula Byrne does a good job gathering information, pointing out connections, and for once showing that even iconic artists are dependent for much of their eventual fame on those around them. It is a big book but the chapters are quite short, which makes it easy to go read without being fatigued. Naturally, Hardy's works are explored with quite a lot of detail, so if you do not want to be spoiled for certain books, read those first.
May 27, 2024
It has taken me a while to dip in and out of this but the journey has been worth it. As a Hardy fan I learnt a lot and taking the perspective of the many women in his life is very revealing. An excellent book I would recommend to anyone vaguely interested in Hardy.
January 1, 2025
As a fan of Thomas Hardy, I found this book fascinating. All of the women in his life that he modeled his beloved characters after, according to Paula Byrne. It made sense, his mother, his sisters, his two wives and the many others he fell in love with, almost married, or viewed from afar.
August 15, 2025
A brilliant look at the life of Thomas Hardy through the women in his life and his literature. Don’t be put off by the length of this book it’s an absorbing page turning read. I now want to reread all the Hardy novels again.
March 11, 2024
Obviously an important read for any fan of Hardy but disappointing in many respects. Poorly edited/proofread (e.g where it says that someone wanted to be 'married' in the churchyard beside his mistress, when clearly the intended word is 'buried'; and the account of Martha Browne's execution when she is attended by 'javelins' - ???). Byrne also flies in the face of all the first-person accounts that clearly show Emma to have been suffering from a mental illness and puts a positive spin on her actions wherever possible while criticising Hardy at every opportunity. To any considered judgement it must be apparent that as in most unhappy marriages there were faults on both sides but that Hardy endured a great deal of snobbish ridicule from a wife who deluded herself into believing that simply by having copied some of his writing she was a co-author! She also made the choice to remove herself to two attic rooms at Max Gate - Hardy did not banish her there; and the night before she died the doctor had told Hardy she was rather better, so Hardy cannot be criticised for saying that her sudden death took him by surprise! The structure of the book is problematic too in that the focus on separate women impairs strict chronology and anyone not already aware of Hardy's life might well feel confused at times. So, an interesting book - it could hardly be otherwise - but ultimately lacking in judgement when considered alongside the biographies by Millgate or Tomalin (about whom Byrne makes an ill-judged and rather snide criticism in one place).
February 9, 2024
Behind the legacy of Thomas Hardy are all the women in his life. His grandmother, mother, sisters, the women in the working-class community of Dorchester in which he grew up, his wife Emma, and the multiple women that influenced his those he invented.
Like a literature essay, this book is forensic about its analysis of language and how the women in Hardy’s life influenced some of the greatest lines in his novels and plays. Although this book deserves its place in literary study, it is not inaccessible. I didn’t know much about Hardy’s novels before reading and I found the analysis really easy to get to grips with and really enticing.
For a non-Fic, this book is so atmospheric, and includes lovely pockets of information about different aspects of social and cultural history in the UK. Using Hardy himself as a springboard, the author lovingly delves into the forgotten lives of such strong, unique, and maltreated women that have stood behind his story for far too long. Essential reading for both fans of Hardy and fans of feminist centred research.
Thank you to Indie Thinking / Harper Collins for the proof :)
Like a literature essay, this book is forensic about its analysis of language and how the women in Hardy’s life influenced some of the greatest lines in his novels and plays. Although this book deserves its place in literary study, it is not inaccessible. I didn’t know much about Hardy’s novels before reading and I found the analysis really easy to get to grips with and really enticing.
For a non-Fic, this book is so atmospheric, and includes lovely pockets of information about different aspects of social and cultural history in the UK. Using Hardy himself as a springboard, the author lovingly delves into the forgotten lives of such strong, unique, and maltreated women that have stood behind his story for far too long. Essential reading for both fans of Hardy and fans of feminist centred research.
Thank you to Indie Thinking / Harper Collins for the proof :)
February 27, 2025
I enjoyed reading the book but by the end I was thoroughly fed up with TH and these women in his life, sometimes hysterical, ridiculous in their adoration and often neurotic. I disliked all of them - there seemed no redeeming features in any of them or him.
However, I decided that when you start to write a book taking a particular angle it must be difficult to round out everyone into a whole person as you are concentrating on a particular stance.
How many of us write about the tiny joyful bits of our everyday life, no, more often than not we pick up a pen to write out our worries and annoyances (I don’t think they practiced writing gratitude journals then). For example, Emma and Hardy’s relationship spanned decades and there would have been a thread that bound them even if they were both behaving badly towards each other. It would have been unspoken, maybe, even to themselves. No matter how bad things got on the surface, underneath that thing that kept them joined together could have been expressed in tiny moments of joy and happiness, say, for example (and here I am completely making up a situation) they were in the garden and one of them noticed a favourite flower and they have a conversation about it. No-one is going to write that in a letter or the servants note that because everyone is looking for negatives and these moments go unrecorded. If they then didn’t speak for the rest of the evening or had an argument that moment would have been lost to onlookers but recorded in the secret parts of their relationship no-one else could share.
All that is just my own, humble opinion and obviously this book is about the women in Hardy’s life both fictional and real and has a particular agenda to achieve. It is well worth a read.
However, I decided that when you start to write a book taking a particular angle it must be difficult to round out everyone into a whole person as you are concentrating on a particular stance.
How many of us write about the tiny joyful bits of our everyday life, no, more often than not we pick up a pen to write out our worries and annoyances (I don’t think they practiced writing gratitude journals then). For example, Emma and Hardy’s relationship spanned decades and there would have been a thread that bound them even if they were both behaving badly towards each other. It would have been unspoken, maybe, even to themselves. No matter how bad things got on the surface, underneath that thing that kept them joined together could have been expressed in tiny moments of joy and happiness, say, for example (and here I am completely making up a situation) they were in the garden and one of them noticed a favourite flower and they have a conversation about it. No-one is going to write that in a letter or the servants note that because everyone is looking for negatives and these moments go unrecorded. If they then didn’t speak for the rest of the evening or had an argument that moment would have been lost to onlookers but recorded in the secret parts of their relationship no-one else could share.
All that is just my own, humble opinion and obviously this book is about the women in Hardy’s life both fictional and real and has a particular agenda to achieve. It is well worth a read.
December 28, 2024
I suppose it is quite natural curiosity to learn about the person's life when you are moved by their art, work, accomplishments, etc. Yet, that curiosity for me nearly always leads to disappointment. The person's life is never as beautiful or moving as their art, work, accomplishments, etc. And even more unfortunate, nearly always the person's life detracts from the beauty which moved my curiosity.
Paula's work is another example of this experience. Hardy's novels present some of the most moving heroines. I suppose Paula had a similar curiosity. What were Hardy's relationships with women such that he created such heroines? Thankfully, I believe Paula allowed history to tell the story. She presents the women in Hardy's life as a historian would: names, dates, significant events, actual written evidence such as journals, etc. And, the result is: moving in the opposite direction of Hardy's novels.
Instead of heroines, Hardy's Women are infatuations, superficial moments, and worst of all neglected devotees. Does this ruin the novels and poems? No, it does not. Art transcends the human who creates it and the environment it is created by and in. Yet, it does give me pause to pursue such curiosity again.
Paula's work is another example of this experience. Hardy's novels present some of the most moving heroines. I suppose Paula had a similar curiosity. What were Hardy's relationships with women such that he created such heroines? Thankfully, I believe Paula allowed history to tell the story. She presents the women in Hardy's life as a historian would: names, dates, significant events, actual written evidence such as journals, etc. And, the result is: moving in the opposite direction of Hardy's novels.
Instead of heroines, Hardy's Women are infatuations, superficial moments, and worst of all neglected devotees. Does this ruin the novels and poems? No, it does not. Art transcends the human who creates it and the environment it is created by and in. Yet, it does give me pause to pursue such curiosity again.
March 4, 2024
This book is a near-biography as it concentrates on the women around Hardy. Women featured throughout Hardy's life but especially in his early adult life and when his first marriage began to break down and he began to fix on other women. Other periods and even major life events are skimmed over.
The key to Hardy is women. Every novel and most poems are about him and his relationships. It looks like he was engaged at least half a dozen times. He seems to enjoy falling in love with unobtainable women and then being tortured by their unavailability.
Truth be told it seems Hardy at least partially ruined the lives of most of the women he was engaged to or married. He broke their hearts and they then found themselves brought to life in novels and poems. Emma finally saw through him.
The flip side to pouring his heart out in public was his obsessive secrecy. Burning most of his letters and papers was a terrible loss to posterity, but there are plenty of clues, not least in his published works. Paula Byrne has done a brilliant job of making the most of the material available. There is so much nobody will ever know but it will take a lot for anyone to reveal more than is told in Hardy's Women. Although it's not a formal biography the book feels like it gets to the bottom of both Hardy and many of the women around him.
The key to Hardy is women. Every novel and most poems are about him and his relationships. It looks like he was engaged at least half a dozen times. He seems to enjoy falling in love with unobtainable women and then being tortured by their unavailability.
Truth be told it seems Hardy at least partially ruined the lives of most of the women he was engaged to or married. He broke their hearts and they then found themselves brought to life in novels and poems. Emma finally saw through him.
The flip side to pouring his heart out in public was his obsessive secrecy. Burning most of his letters and papers was a terrible loss to posterity, but there are plenty of clues, not least in his published works. Paula Byrne has done a brilliant job of making the most of the material available. There is so much nobody will ever know but it will take a lot for anyone to reveal more than is told in Hardy's Women. Although it's not a formal biography the book feels like it gets to the bottom of both Hardy and many of the women around him.
March 27, 2025
I really enjoyed Wifedom about George Orwell so I was really looking forward to this for similar reasons - i did feel it would have been better as text than audio, because I actually restarted it and relistened to sections because I lost track at the start of who everyone was. The highlights were many, but the reason I’ve given four stars is that I feel it would have benefitted from a reshuffling in order or some other organisational change to make it more cohesive. It’s interesting that the two women he married were both writers and that they both “edited” his work - I suspect they might have more than a little contribution to the creative process! It’s also made me want to read more Hardy - I love Madding Crowd and Tess but had never been drawn to his other works. I’ve now downloaded Mayor of Casterbridge due to the insight from this book.
October 21, 2025
The book's excellence is more about its highly engaging and rich content and insights than the quality of its writing, which is prone to cliches and unworthily imprecise in places. I enjoyed finding such depth in so many real and fictional characters, and the titular "Hardy" rather than "Hardy's" is a nice touch. There is a puzzling reversal in the epilogue, it seemed to me, claiming that there would have been "...no Elizabeth-Jane without Mary Hardy" etc., etc., which may well be true. But the stronger underlying claims of the book are that real people were somehow constructed from Hardy's fictional women, most notably Gertrude Bugler from Tess Durbyfield - but I may have misunderstood something.
May 3, 2025
This was hardcore, 570 pages, and is a biography of Hardy, focussed on the women in his life, both real and fictional. For me, it was a bit long and there were too many Hardy quotes, but I did enjoy it.
I enjoyed Tess and Return of the Native and it was interesting to read about the background to the stories, and the places and real people that inspired Hardy.
He sounds like he was a hard man to live with and his two wives were devoted to him, while he, whilst not unfaithful (I think) was infatuated and had deep relationships with lots of other women.
It was easy to read and most of the chapters were short.
I enjoyed Tess and Return of the Native and it was interesting to read about the background to the stories, and the places and real people that inspired Hardy.
He sounds like he was a hard man to live with and his two wives were devoted to him, while he, whilst not unfaithful (I think) was infatuated and had deep relationships with lots of other women.
It was easy to read and most of the chapters were short.
March 28, 2025
This is an absolutely brilliant book for anyone who enjoys Thomas Hardy’s work or is interested in the lives of the women connected to famous writers of his time. What first drew me to Hardy was his remarkable and utterly surprising ability to understand and paint a woman's inner life so truthfully. Reading a biography written by a woman who shared my experience, and who was willing to pay deserved scholarly attention both to his fictional heroines and the real women in his life, was an absolute delight and pleasure.
February 27, 2024
This book was incredibly dissapointing. The author attempted to cover far too much and most of the book was really muddled.
The last third of the book was brilliant. Byrne would've done better just to focus on Hardy's wives and the woman who played Tess.
The last third of the book was brilliant. Byrne would've done better just to focus on Hardy's wives and the woman who played Tess.
January 12, 2025
Very informative. Loved reading it.
February 13, 2025
Absolutely superb. So wonderful to learn more about one of the greatest writers in the English language that ever lived. His literary genius will never be forgotten.
Read
August 9, 2025DNF interesting - his relationships with women and focus on female characters. But too long for me.
October 9, 2025
a long read, but worthwhile.
I can’t believe what a changing world TH and his friends lived through - fascinating beyond words
I can’t believe what a changing world TH and his friends lived through - fascinating beyond words
December 3, 2025
Audiobook had to borrow twice with a long wait in between! Really fascinating if you are in to Hardy and explains a lot. 19 hours of audio. Well read.
December 30, 2025
Such an imaginative way to explore the life of one of my favourite authors, through his relationships and characters. I learned so much and was entertained from start to finish. I feel a mass re-read of Hardy novels coming on!
May 5, 2025
i had a great time reading this, very accessible and conversational and chill.
Displaying 1 - 22 of 22 reviews