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Sentenced to Christmas
A charming and wacky enemies-to-lovers rom-com from the two-time finalist for the Lambda Literary Award in Gay Romance.
When gay activist Gage Hammond is accused of burning down a patriotic Christmas tree that stands in front of a conservative radio station, the judge sentences him to learn the true meaning of Hammond must join buttoned-up prosecutor Cal Cutler and his family for the holiday. There’s just one problem—okay, maybe a lot of problems. But at the top of the Cal’s in the closet and it’s not even his family!
If you loved the author’s previous comedies The Ghost Slept Over, Femme or Fathers of the Bride, you’ll want to grab this in time for the holiday!
When gay activist Gage Hammond is accused of burning down a patriotic Christmas tree that stands in front of a conservative radio station, the judge sentences him to learn the true meaning of Hammond must join buttoned-up prosecutor Cal Cutler and his family for the holiday. There’s just one problem—okay, maybe a lot of problems. But at the top of the Cal’s in the closet and it’s not even his family!
If you loved the author’s previous comedies The Ghost Slept Over, Femme or Fathers of the Bride, you’ll want to grab this in time for the holiday!
256 pages, Kindle Edition
First published November 28, 2023
30 people are currently reading
43 people want to read
About the author
Marshall Thornton
58 books633 followersThree-time Lambda Award-winning author, Marshall Thornton is best known for the Boystown and Pinx Video mystery series. Other novels include the erotic comedy The Perils of Praline, or the Amorous Adventures of a Southern Gentleman in Hollywood, Desert Run and Full Release. Marshall has an MFA in screenwriting from UCLA, where he received the Carl David Memorial Fellowship and was recognized in the Samuel Goldwyn Writing awards.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 41 reviews
December 1, 2023
I literally counted the days for this release, every morning with no exception I counted the days left. To say I’m disappointed it’s a terrible understatement.I wanted a witty and well written Christmas romance but alas, we don’t always get what we want , do we?
Well, this was depressing. If you’re looking for a feel good Christmassy book this isn’t one and I don’t think the author even intended to write a Christmas romance. This is the author showing us his political point of view and how he as a gay man knows how to gay the bestest. The straight and gay stereotyping was cringe worthy and uncomfortable and there isn’t a single person in this book slightly salvageable. Actually no, I loved the kids from NorthStar, Mary Ann’s kids and Gage’s father before he shat on his principles and hooked up with Hitler’s bride aka Mary Ann’s mother.
And I really wondered how could the author believe that we would root for that sanctimonious asshole Cal and that judgmental and obnoxious Gage. I really really want to believe that this book is entirely a parody,a satire, a complete exposition of today’s society’s sins and prejudices yet it doesn’t feel like a parody because why make it a rom com ? And with this kind of heroes? Make it a queer fiction and it would have worked better. I couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable rooting for MCs who spewed things like these:
“No, wait, as Piper pointed out, he was a criminal. He didn’t deserve respect.”
(Gage burned a Christmas tree , which Cal as a DA couldn’t even find evidence for and because of that he sentences that Gage doesn’t deserve respect while Cal made his friend and her kids lie to a judge so he wouldn’t have to come out of the closet. Oh yeah, that was very respectable.
“Gus was standing next to me. I could tell he wanted to go with his sister, but he already knew that boys weren’t supposed to want to go to the perfume counter”
or
“He prided himself on being just like your average heterosexual with the exceptions of what dating apps he was on and what kind of porn he watched. I was sure that he dreamed of having a three-bedroom, suburban home and 2.5 children to share with his gorgeously vanilla husband. I mean, what was the point of being gay if you were just going to be some alt version of a straight guy?”
Umm , so apparently there is one correct way of being gay and Gage (or maybe the author) does it the bestest in the whole wide world.
I’m no gay guy, it’s true but I thought a guy is allowed to want a husband and 2.5 kids without turning into “the wrong kind of gay”. That it’s ok to be any kind of gay : the married with kids and picket fence type, the poly , the open relationship type, the sex crazed orgy loving type, the always single type , the BDSM etc etc.
But apparently they draw the line at the white picket fence.
Allow me to show more pearls of wisdom that made me quite embarrassed for the author :
“I had to convince this guy I was straight, married and a father of two. So what kind of straight guy was I? Was I the kind who said, man and dude and bro all the time? Could I maintain that for four days? […]
Do I play sports? Are you kidding me? Straight guys are all alike. Sports and tits, that’s all they ever talk about. I mean, he could have asked if I was comfortable, or did I need anything? But, no, he asked, “Do I play sports?” Wow.”
[..] That was most of what straight people talked about, anyway. I’m sure we bored Gage to death”
Also, I refuse to believe that an Enby person could be this moronic and misinformed . They tried to determine if a woman was a lesbian by asking this :
“Do you do much of the upkeep yourself?” Neo asked. “Are you good with tools? Field hockey. Did you play in high school, Mary Ann?” “No, I didn’t.” “Softball? Soccer?” “I’ve never been sporty.”
Embarrassing, I tell ya.
And now , let’s get to Mary Ann’s mum. I don’t understand what was the author smoking when he created that ..creature but it must have been potent. Because I don’t think you could imagine that kind of despicable without a bit of help. I mean I’m sure there are ppl like her but I don’t think she’d be allowed to any decent ppl’s Christmas dinner like that. How can the author expect me to think Mary Ann , Cal, Gage are nice ppl when they indulged such a specimen. And then humanize her to the point of making her the savior of NorthStar and making Gage’s father who I absolutely adored throw away everything he believed in by becoming enamored with her. WHY???
Also, don’t look for romance, there isn’t. I could barely stand them separately, together even less.
So yeah, republicans eww, straights eww , gay yay but only SOME gays, lesbians love tools and it doesn’t matter if you want the queers dead what’s important is that you throw some money at them after.
Ridiculous situations, OTT villains and forced humor. Christmas rom com ? THIS WAS NOT IT.
I’ll end this with one of the very VERY few quotes I loved:
“Yeah, you know what… you need to stop changing yourself to fit the world and start changing the world to fit you.”
Disclaimer: No, I’m not a republican (I’m not even American), yes, I’m aware I’m not a gay guy , no I’m not homophobic and yes I understand, though a bit late that this was not meant for me but that it will be very appreciated by gay guys who gay perfectly. Probably .
Well, this was depressing. If you’re looking for a feel good Christmassy book this isn’t one and I don’t think the author even intended to write a Christmas romance. This is the author showing us his political point of view and how he as a gay man knows how to gay the bestest. The straight and gay stereotyping was cringe worthy and uncomfortable and there isn’t a single person in this book slightly salvageable. Actually no, I loved the kids from NorthStar, Mary Ann’s kids and Gage’s father before he shat on his principles and hooked up with Hitler’s bride aka Mary Ann’s mother.
And I really wondered how could the author believe that we would root for that sanctimonious asshole Cal and that judgmental and obnoxious Gage. I really really want to believe that this book is entirely a parody,a satire, a complete exposition of today’s society’s sins and prejudices yet it doesn’t feel like a parody because why make it a rom com ? And with this kind of heroes? Make it a queer fiction and it would have worked better. I couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable rooting for MCs who spewed things like these:
“No, wait, as Piper pointed out, he was a criminal. He didn’t deserve respect.”
(Gage burned a Christmas tree , which Cal as a DA couldn’t even find evidence for and because of that he sentences that Gage doesn’t deserve respect while Cal made his friend and her kids lie to a judge so he wouldn’t have to come out of the closet. Oh yeah, that was very respectable.
“Gus was standing next to me. I could tell he wanted to go with his sister, but he already knew that boys weren’t supposed to want to go to the perfume counter”
or
“He prided himself on being just like your average heterosexual with the exceptions of what dating apps he was on and what kind of porn he watched. I was sure that he dreamed of having a three-bedroom, suburban home and 2.5 children to share with his gorgeously vanilla husband. I mean, what was the point of being gay if you were just going to be some alt version of a straight guy?”
Umm , so apparently there is one correct way of being gay and Gage (or maybe the author) does it the bestest in the whole wide world.
I’m no gay guy, it’s true but I thought a guy is allowed to want a husband and 2.5 kids without turning into “the wrong kind of gay”. That it’s ok to be any kind of gay : the married with kids and picket fence type, the poly , the open relationship type, the sex crazed orgy loving type, the always single type , the BDSM etc etc.
But apparently they draw the line at the white picket fence.
Allow me to show more pearls of wisdom that made me quite embarrassed for the author :
“I had to convince this guy I was straight, married and a father of two. So what kind of straight guy was I? Was I the kind who said, man and dude and bro all the time? Could I maintain that for four days? […]
Do I play sports? Are you kidding me? Straight guys are all alike. Sports and tits, that’s all they ever talk about. I mean, he could have asked if I was comfortable, or did I need anything? But, no, he asked, “Do I play sports?” Wow.”
[..] That was most of what straight people talked about, anyway. I’m sure we bored Gage to death”
Also, I refuse to believe that an Enby person could be this moronic and misinformed . They tried to determine if a woman was a lesbian by asking this :
“Do you do much of the upkeep yourself?” Neo asked. “Are you good with tools? Field hockey. Did you play in high school, Mary Ann?” “No, I didn’t.” “Softball? Soccer?” “I’ve never been sporty.”
Embarrassing, I tell ya.
And now , let’s get to Mary Ann’s mum. I don’t understand what was the author smoking when he created that ..creature but it must have been potent. Because I don’t think you could imagine that kind of despicable without a bit of help. I mean I’m sure there are ppl like her but I don’t think she’d be allowed to any decent ppl’s Christmas dinner like that. How can the author expect me to think Mary Ann , Cal, Gage are nice ppl when they indulged such a specimen. And then humanize her to the point of making her the savior of NorthStar and making Gage’s father who I absolutely adored throw away everything he believed in by becoming enamored with her. WHY???
Also, don’t look for romance, there isn’t. I could barely stand them separately, together even less.
So yeah, republicans eww, straights eww , gay yay but only SOME gays, lesbians love tools and it doesn’t matter if you want the queers dead what’s important is that you throw some money at them after.
Ridiculous situations, OTT villains and forced humor. Christmas rom com ? THIS WAS NOT IT.
I’ll end this with one of the very VERY few quotes I loved:
“Yeah, you know what… you need to stop changing yourself to fit the world and start changing the world to fit you.”
Disclaimer: No, I’m not a republican (I’m not even American), yes, I’m aware I’m not a gay guy , no I’m not homophobic and yes I understand, though a bit late that this was not meant for me but that it will be very appreciated by gay guys who gay perfectly. Probably .
September 23, 2024
This is so good. A few uncomfortable parts with the judge and relatives, but Thornton always manages things much more skillfully than I'm expecting. I think I'm reading too many of the wrong books and have set the bar too low. Off to see what other romcoms he's got I haven't read yet since there's still a few weeks till the next Pinx mystery comes out.
January 11, 2024
2 stars upgraded to 3 stars for chutzpah.
Silly plot, characterless MCs, farcically over-blown secondaries, no real relationship. Yet Marshall Thornton's glee in skewering both alt-right & alt-left creates more highlighted zingers than in many a "better" book.
Cover design by the author.
Silly plot, characterless MCs, farcically over-blown secondaries, no real relationship. Yet Marshall Thornton's glee in skewering both alt-right & alt-left creates more highlighted zingers than in many a "better" book.
“Nothing like a progressive liberal arts summer camp to teach a teenager the fallacy of trickle-down-economics.”
“Grandma, did you know that the Puritans didn’t celebrate Christmas and even made it illegal?”
"There’s no way any Christian anywhere would ever make Christmas illegal.”
“It is true, Grandma.”
“Yes, and just because something’s true doesn’t mean you have to believe it. You’re an American and you have every right to live in your own special world.”
"[Ronald Reagan]—Such a wonderful man. He had the courage to take from the poor and give to the rich.”
“Wow,” I said. “I would have said the same thing. Except, you make it sound like a good thing.”
“Oh, it was a good thing. I don’t expect you to understand economics, though gay men have other valuable skills."
I think the press in this country is just awful. In my opinion, it’s more important that news reporting be aspirational than accurate, don’t you agree?
Cover design by the author.
January 2, 2024
Despite coming across some rather unfavorable GR reviews, I actually liked this seasonal offering more than expected from an autobuy author.
November 29, 2023
DNF @ 51%.
I really like Marshall Thornton’s writing, so while I don’t like Christmas books or rom-coms, I decided to give it a go anyway.
I guess I just have a very different idea of “a charming and wacky enemies-to-lovers rom-com” if this is what this is supposed to be.
There’s some things I wasn’t crazy about, like just a lot of political stuff, which I don’t care to read in my fiction in general, and definitely not what I would expect in a holiday rom-com.
But once Mary-Ann’s mother appeared, I just couldn’t do it any longer. Cal describes her as “basically a very silly woman”. I think she is awful. Absolutely awful. I don’t know if she is supposed to be humorous, either satirically or otherwise, but I don’t want to read a single word more about her.
I really like Marshall Thornton’s writing, so while I don’t like Christmas books or rom-coms, I decided to give it a go anyway.
I guess I just have a very different idea of “a charming and wacky enemies-to-lovers rom-com” if this is what this is supposed to be.
There’s some things I wasn’t crazy about, like just a lot of political stuff, which I don’t care to read in my fiction in general, and definitely not what I would expect in a holiday rom-com.
But once Mary-Ann’s mother appeared, I just couldn’t do it any longer. Cal describes her as “basically a very silly woman”. I think she is awful. Absolutely awful. I don’t know if she is supposed to be humorous, either satirically or otherwise, but I don’t want to read a single word more about her.
December 29, 2023
A Joyfully Jay review.
3.5 stars
This is a farcical holiday story for the modern age, and while it’s very well written and the banter between the characters was great, the book feels very one note. And that note is exhausting. Mary Ann’s mother, Betsy, comes to visit for the holiday, having been kicked out of her bridge party for cheating. She’s the token terrible relative, saying anything and everything offensive that she can.
The romance isn’t all that strong. While the two men have some good moments, so much of the focus of the parts of the story involving Gage and Cal are about the family. Gage thinks Cal is married and has no intention to even think thoughts, let alone feel feelings, because this is someone’s husband and his kids are right there. Cal is attracted, clumsy in his desire to both be close to Gage and to not be caught out by Gage, and it had honest potential.
Read Elizabeth’s review in its entirety here.
3.5 stars
This is a farcical holiday story for the modern age, and while it’s very well written and the banter between the characters was great, the book feels very one note. And that note is exhausting. Mary Ann’s mother, Betsy, comes to visit for the holiday, having been kicked out of her bridge party for cheating. She’s the token terrible relative, saying anything and everything offensive that she can.
The romance isn’t all that strong. While the two men have some good moments, so much of the focus of the parts of the story involving Gage and Cal are about the family. Gage thinks Cal is married and has no intention to even think thoughts, let alone feel feelings, because this is someone’s husband and his kids are right there. Cal is attracted, clumsy in his desire to both be close to Gage and to not be caught out by Gage, and it had honest potential.
Read Elizabeth’s review in its entirety here.
January 20, 2024
4.5 stars
Very funny! Laughed out loud several times. I loved the dichotomy between Nate and Betsy and what they represented in this story. Funny and also gives food for thought. Two great reasons to read it.
It ends on what seems HFN though.
Very funny! Laughed out loud several times. I loved the dichotomy between Nate and Betsy and what they represented in this story. Funny and also gives food for thought. Two great reasons to read it.
It ends on what seems HFN though.
January 14, 2024
This romcom hit just right for me. It made me laugh many times and stayed light while satirizing the current political climate. The romance was even sweet.
December 6, 2023
And then I kissed him.
And this is all the romance that you'll find in this book
Alongside wrong pronouns, a momentary accidental change of POV and two main characters that I didn't like at all
At least it was relatively short
And this is all the romance that you'll find in this book
Alongside wrong pronouns, a momentary accidental change of POV and two main characters that I didn't like at all
At least it was relatively short
December 2, 2023
If you want to read a light-hearted Christmas rom-com, this one may not be the ideal choice.
Following a similar vein to his 'The Perils of Praline' duology, this new holiday read by Marshall Thornton is infused with political satire/commentary, far overshadowing the romance. Since I've read his other works, I had a rough idea of what to expect from reading the blurb. Although the political commentaries are a bit overwhelming, I understand where the author was coming from and what he intended to imply here, so they don't bother me much.
My biggest issue with this book is the editing errors. The enby character was misgendered three times, which I don't believe was done deliberately. (My theory is the character was initially created as a cisgender female and was later changed to be enby.) However, considering this book should be all about challenging cis-heteronormativity, the sloppiness is rather jarring.
Following a similar vein to his 'The Perils of Praline' duology, this new holiday read by Marshall Thornton is infused with political satire/commentary, far overshadowing the romance. Since I've read his other works, I had a rough idea of what to expect from reading the blurb. Although the political commentaries are a bit overwhelming, I understand where the author was coming from and what he intended to imply here, so they don't bother me much.
My biggest issue with this book is the editing errors. The enby character was misgendered three times, which I don't believe was done deliberately. (My theory is the character was initially created as a cisgender female and was later changed to be enby.) However, considering this book should be all about challenging cis-heteronormativity, the sloppiness is rather jarring.
December 3, 2023
I enjoyed this. A bit of a romp for me with quite a few LOL moments.
Really liked Mary Ann's mom and the chaos that ensued after she arrived. For a house with small rooms they managed to fit a load of people in.
After the judge added something to Gage's plea deal, he had to spend 3 days over christmas with the prosecutors family. Trouble was that Cal is gay and 'borrowed' the family picture from his best friend.
I enjoyed this book.
Really liked Mary Ann's mom and the chaos that ensued after she arrived. For a house with small rooms they managed to fit a load of people in.
After the judge added something to Gage's plea deal, he had to spend 3 days over christmas with the prosecutors family. Trouble was that Cal is gay and 'borrowed' the family picture from his best friend.
I enjoyed this book.
February 24, 2024
Very disappointing, as I’m usually a fan of Thornton’s work (Boystown, Pinx Video Mysteries). This really needed an editor (multiple examples of missing quotation marks, commas, and most notably a non-binary character being referred to as ‘she’ more than once - I think the author changed the character after writing and missed a few instances), and was way too over-the-top for me.
Read
November 30, 2023Disappointing, run of the mill, Christmas mm short. Can’t believe it’s by Marshall Thornton!
November 29, 2023
Reviewed for Love Bytes Reviews
I have to start off by saying I think the humor of this book and I didn’t quite click. The over the top characters (hello, Judge Nasty, and Betsy) were so OTT that it really pulled me out of the story. That being said, there are some funny moments.
Gage is an activist with a paranoid, conspiracy-theorist father who’s pretty sure everyone in the world is out to get everyone else. Gage is in court awaiting his plea deal for burning down a Christmas tree filled with patriotic ornaments. The fact that the tree belonged to a media outlet and it’s now a circus. Gage wants to get the plea deal over with and his prosecutor, Cal, wants the same thing. Judge Winthrop, conservative bigot extraordinaire, has other ideas. Not only does he have his baliff dressed as an elf in a courtroom brimming with Christmas decorations, he makes nasty comment after comment. What it boils down to is, for whatever reason, the judge wants Gage to suffer for this. He decides before he will sign the plea deal, Gage needs to spend Christmas with a “traditional” family and return after to describe the true meaning of Christmas. As if the judge has a clue. After asking the public defender to celebrate Christmas despite being Jewish, (“Don’t they make those blue ornaments specifically for you people?”) he settles on Cal. Cal, who brings a photo of his wife and children to the court and faces the picture so the judge can see them.
Except, as the blurb says, it’s not his family. Cal is gay, very closeted and using his best friend’s picture. He doesn’t see it as a lie, just a way to get ahead. The whole courtroom was just too much. The judge asking for an autograph of the victim, Cal’s picture, the constant horrid comments.
So Gage spends the holiday with the closeted Cal, his best friend Mary Ann and her children, her mother, who is a nightmare named Betsy and also makes the horrid comments, and assorted “friends.” Cal keeps up the pretense, “Mary Ann and I are deeply in love” despite the fact that Gage can tell there is something not right about it all. Add in when Gage’s father shows up and it’s just a circus.
There are a lot of one-liners and a lot of arguing about left and right and how wrong each side is. “I meant conspiracy theories about libtards. Not about me!” That sort of sums up a lot of these people. So, while this wasn’t totally my cuppa, it may appeal to those who appreciate the humor.
I have to start off by saying I think the humor of this book and I didn’t quite click. The over the top characters (hello, Judge Nasty, and Betsy) were so OTT that it really pulled me out of the story. That being said, there are some funny moments.
Gage is an activist with a paranoid, conspiracy-theorist father who’s pretty sure everyone in the world is out to get everyone else. Gage is in court awaiting his plea deal for burning down a Christmas tree filled with patriotic ornaments. The fact that the tree belonged to a media outlet and it’s now a circus. Gage wants to get the plea deal over with and his prosecutor, Cal, wants the same thing. Judge Winthrop, conservative bigot extraordinaire, has other ideas. Not only does he have his baliff dressed as an elf in a courtroom brimming with Christmas decorations, he makes nasty comment after comment. What it boils down to is, for whatever reason, the judge wants Gage to suffer for this. He decides before he will sign the plea deal, Gage needs to spend Christmas with a “traditional” family and return after to describe the true meaning of Christmas. As if the judge has a clue. After asking the public defender to celebrate Christmas despite being Jewish, (“Don’t they make those blue ornaments specifically for you people?”) he settles on Cal. Cal, who brings a photo of his wife and children to the court and faces the picture so the judge can see them.
Except, as the blurb says, it’s not his family. Cal is gay, very closeted and using his best friend’s picture. He doesn’t see it as a lie, just a way to get ahead. The whole courtroom was just too much. The judge asking for an autograph of the victim, Cal’s picture, the constant horrid comments.
So Gage spends the holiday with the closeted Cal, his best friend Mary Ann and her children, her mother, who is a nightmare named Betsy and also makes the horrid comments, and assorted “friends.” Cal keeps up the pretense, “Mary Ann and I are deeply in love” despite the fact that Gage can tell there is something not right about it all. Add in when Gage’s father shows up and it’s just a circus.
There are a lot of one-liners and a lot of arguing about left and right and how wrong each side is. “I meant conspiracy theories about libtards. Not about me!” That sort of sums up a lot of these people. So, while this wasn’t totally my cuppa, it may appeal to those who appreciate the humor.
December 16, 2023
Sentenced to Christmas
By Marshall Thornton
Published by Kenmore Books, 2023
Five stars
This book would make a fantastic movie, if the world in which we live were a better place. First, it is hilarious. Second, it is serious, dealing with real issues relevant to where we live now in the USA. Behind the farce that makes this book work as a holiday story, lies the dark truth that taints our nation today. Thornton Marshall, known for his neo-noir detective stories set in the recent past (my past, the 1980s and 90s), is also a master at banter and irony.
Gage Hammond is, apparently, a criminal; an arsonist to be exact. Calvin Cutler is an up-and-coming young Michigan prosecutor, charged with the case against Gage Hammond. He is also, apparently, married with a wife and two children. As it turns out, neither of these apparent facts is quite true. Therein lie both the comedy and the tragedy of the play. Fortunately, the tragedy never reaches beyond potential, while the comedy is unleashed, indeed weaponized, to make some serious points without ever stopping the laughs. This is a Hallmark story with teeth. I guess that makes it biting satire. (Sorry.)
I loved both Gage and Calvin. Thornton draws them vividly, flaws and all, but neither one of them is other than good (once you look, really look, at them). Their family stories are important, but not what you’d expect, although both stories are critical in having shaped them into the men they are. That essential goodness is what makes them worthy of being the “heroes” of a Christmas story, in the end.
This book made me completely happy as I read it, while also making me think, and wince, and shudder. For a sweet story, there is almost no sugar-coating. That in itself is a feat worthy of noting. Read it.
By Marshall Thornton
Published by Kenmore Books, 2023
Five stars
This book would make a fantastic movie, if the world in which we live were a better place. First, it is hilarious. Second, it is serious, dealing with real issues relevant to where we live now in the USA. Behind the farce that makes this book work as a holiday story, lies the dark truth that taints our nation today. Thornton Marshall, known for his neo-noir detective stories set in the recent past (my past, the 1980s and 90s), is also a master at banter and irony.
Gage Hammond is, apparently, a criminal; an arsonist to be exact. Calvin Cutler is an up-and-coming young Michigan prosecutor, charged with the case against Gage Hammond. He is also, apparently, married with a wife and two children. As it turns out, neither of these apparent facts is quite true. Therein lie both the comedy and the tragedy of the play. Fortunately, the tragedy never reaches beyond potential, while the comedy is unleashed, indeed weaponized, to make some serious points without ever stopping the laughs. This is a Hallmark story with teeth. I guess that makes it biting satire. (Sorry.)
I loved both Gage and Calvin. Thornton draws them vividly, flaws and all, but neither one of them is other than good (once you look, really look, at them). Their family stories are important, but not what you’d expect, although both stories are critical in having shaped them into the men they are. That essential goodness is what makes them worthy of being the “heroes” of a Christmas story, in the end.
This book made me completely happy as I read it, while also making me think, and wince, and shudder. For a sweet story, there is almost no sugar-coating. That in itself is a feat worthy of noting. Read it.
December 4, 2023
Delightful gay holiday romcom from the fantastic two-time Lambda Literary finalist Marshall Thornton.
Gage Hammond is an outspoken gay-activist who runs a youth center for LGBTQ+ teenagers. A safe space for those dealing with difficult home lives in relation to their sexuality. When Gage is accused of burning down a "patriotic" Christmas tree on the property of a right-wing Christian radio station, he is taken to court in front of an equally right-wing conservative judge. Prosecuting the case is Cal Cutler, a very strait-laced, fastidious man. In order to avoid a trial, the judge orders Gage to spend the Christmas holiday with Cal Cutler and his wife and children to learn the true meaning of Christmas. The problem is that Cal is actually a closeted gay man, and the "wife and kids" are actually his best friend from college who's on the brink of divorce and her children. What ensues is a wacky set of situations and quirky characters as Cal tries to keep the deception going while simultaneously finding himself growing more attracted to Gage.
A wonderful, breezy read. It gives you some of the feel-good, warm fuzziness of a Hallmark film, yet it's rooted in a certain reality as it satirizes right-wing religiosity, gay culture, and the current great divide in American politics and discourse.
Gage Hammond is an outspoken gay-activist who runs a youth center for LGBTQ+ teenagers. A safe space for those dealing with difficult home lives in relation to their sexuality. When Gage is accused of burning down a "patriotic" Christmas tree on the property of a right-wing Christian radio station, he is taken to court in front of an equally right-wing conservative judge. Prosecuting the case is Cal Cutler, a very strait-laced, fastidious man. In order to avoid a trial, the judge orders Gage to spend the Christmas holiday with Cal Cutler and his wife and children to learn the true meaning of Christmas. The problem is that Cal is actually a closeted gay man, and the "wife and kids" are actually his best friend from college who's on the brink of divorce and her children. What ensues is a wacky set of situations and quirky characters as Cal tries to keep the deception going while simultaneously finding himself growing more attracted to Gage.
A wonderful, breezy read. It gives you some of the feel-good, warm fuzziness of a Hallmark film, yet it's rooted in a certain reality as it satirizes right-wing religiosity, gay culture, and the current great divide in American politics and discourse.
December 20, 2025
Someone has torched a corporate Christmas tree outside the radio station of a notorious right-wing commentator. Social worker / gay activist Gage Hammond has confessed and when he appears before the court for a plea deal, the right-wing judge stipulates that Gage spend Christmas with a good Christian family. Gage must show the court he understands the true meaning of Christmas before the judge will sign off on the deal. Given his lawyer is Jewish, the judge selects prosecutor Cal Cutler’s family for the assignment. Only Cal has been living a lie and he’s deathly afraid of Gage discovering his secret.
This was a completely whacky gay romcom, entertaining without any steam. Cal and the right-wing characters aren’t morally decent, but Gage and the family he stays with are thoroughly good people. This has a lot of political content and a bunch of right-wing tropes and conspiracy theories, like “the War on Christmas”, are canvassed in a very amusing way. I thoroughly enjoyed the offbeat characters, the story, and politics of it all, but I’m glad I don’t live in the US if these views are commonplace. You can skate through and just enjoy the farcical nature of it all but it does bring home some important messages. 🎧 Dana P. Rowe did a great job of all the zany characters. The only downside was the sound quality but I adjusted to that pretty quickly.
This was a completely whacky gay romcom, entertaining without any steam. Cal and the right-wing characters aren’t morally decent, but Gage and the family he stays with are thoroughly good people. This has a lot of political content and a bunch of right-wing tropes and conspiracy theories, like “the War on Christmas”, are canvassed in a very amusing way. I thoroughly enjoyed the offbeat characters, the story, and politics of it all, but I’m glad I don’t live in the US if these views are commonplace. You can skate through and just enjoy the farcical nature of it all but it does bring home some important messages. 🎧 Dana P. Rowe did a great job of all the zany characters. The only downside was the sound quality but I adjusted to that pretty quickly.
January 15, 2024
This is my first time reading this author, and I WILL be reading more! While the political aspects of the book were heavy...far heavier than I would've appreciated, the quirky side characters made me laugh. I think the author made the mistake of making Betsy terribly egregious when it came to politics and how she viewed the world, but he somehow kinda made me like her. I don't like that feeling because everything about her character should make me despise her and wish her to the lowest realm of Hell. However, her absurdness injected some humor into the story. Gage's father made me laugh out loud. His paranoia was endearing, and I loved that Gage loved his father when most children would probably find his father's quirks insufferable.
Unfortunately, I didn't resonate with the main characters as much as I would've hoped. Gage was an okay guy and pretty level-headed, as opposed to Cal, who was old enough to know better but made countless mistakes and was selfish. At the end of the book, it appears Gage and Cal will be an item, but there is so little chemistry between them throughout the book that it's hard to ship them together.
Despite that, I gave the book a 4 because the humor was fresh, and the dialogue was witty. I would love to see a sequel.
Unfortunately, I didn't resonate with the main characters as much as I would've hoped. Gage was an okay guy and pretty level-headed, as opposed to Cal, who was old enough to know better but made countless mistakes and was selfish. At the end of the book, it appears Gage and Cal will be an item, but there is so little chemistry between them throughout the book that it's hard to ship them together.
Despite that, I gave the book a 4 because the humor was fresh, and the dialogue was witty. I would love to see a sequel.
December 18, 2023
A real whirlwind
It took me a wee bit of time to get used to the authors style in this story. Which is odd in the sense that I have read the Boystown Mysteries books.
Having said that I enjoy Marshall Thornton's books.
Gage meets Cal in a court room. Gage has confessed to a crime, but provided no reason as to why he did it. There is also no evidence that supports if Gage did it or if someone else did it. Cal is the assistant district attorney and would have been happy to have dropped the charges but unfortunately the crime is question has picked up the attention of the news media. They are both expecting the judge to sign off on the arranged plea deal. Of course the judge has other ideas and so begins a series of twist and turns.
It took me a wee bit of time to get used to the authors style in this story. Which is odd in the sense that I have read the Boystown Mysteries books.
Having said that I enjoy Marshall Thornton's books.
Gage meets Cal in a court room. Gage has confessed to a crime, but provided no reason as to why he did it. There is also no evidence that supports if Gage did it or if someone else did it. Cal is the assistant district attorney and would have been happy to have dropped the charges but unfortunately the crime is question has picked up the attention of the news media. They are both expecting the judge to sign off on the arranged plea deal. Of course the judge has other ideas and so begins a series of twist and turns.
December 9, 2024
Amusing, entertaining, annoying at times but enjoyed!
Some of the characters are over the top in their thoughts, views, actions but are foils for the main characters. An outsiders view is that these are a send up of what is worst about united states - extremist views and values.
Forced proximity, lies, love, the meaning of christmas.
Gage is ordered (by an out of control judge) to spend Christmas with the prosecuting lawyers family - only that family doesn’t exist. Cal tries and is possibly a slightly better dad than the real one but Gage is not stupid, and not are the people he works with.
Some of the characters are over the top in their thoughts, views, actions but are foils for the main characters. An outsiders view is that these are a send up of what is worst about united states - extremist views and values.
Forced proximity, lies, love, the meaning of christmas.
Gage is ordered (by an out of control judge) to spend Christmas with the prosecuting lawyers family - only that family doesn’t exist. Cal tries and is possibly a slightly better dad than the real one but Gage is not stupid, and not are the people he works with.
November 30, 2023
Such a witty, feel good jaunt through the human situation which always occurs when you try to cover for someone else----with the best intentions---but the person just isn't going to let it happen and so chaos, misunderstandings, and love occurs when a man is sentenced to spend Christmas with a 'real' family. Cliches are exposed, some stereotyping occurs but is warranted to the story, and goodness abounds. It's a perfect Christmas story as the characters realize who they are, what they want, and perhaps even, the true meaning of Christmas.
<3
<3
December 4, 2023
Sentenced to Christmas
One of the best Christmas stories I’ve read in a long time. Nearly as good as a Christmas Carol (inside reader’s joke). It contains all the Christmas themes, family, found family, the true meaning of Christmas with some very cutting comments from a twelve year old Piper and a HFN ending. The story synopsis covers the main plot points but then the story itself grows to be much bigger than that containing several telling observations. Call me a libtard if you will.
One of the best Christmas stories I’ve read in a long time. Nearly as good as a Christmas Carol (inside reader’s joke). It contains all the Christmas themes, family, found family, the true meaning of Christmas with some very cutting comments from a twelve year old Piper and a HFN ending. The story synopsis covers the main plot points but then the story itself grows to be much bigger than that containing several telling observations. Call me a libtard if you will.
December 11, 2024
A Delight!!!
Marshall Thornton's Sentenced to Christmas, a hilarious farce, packs a lot of joy into its 250 pages. I was laughing from the very first page with this gay comedy of misrepresentation. Mr Thornton's novels are always entertaining and interesting visions of LGBTQ life in the world today.
I have read and enjoyed all of Mr Thornton's works, including the Boystown mysteries, the Pinx Video series, and especially Made and Femme.
If you've never read any of his books, try one; I wholeheartedly recommend them!
Marshall Thornton's Sentenced to Christmas, a hilarious farce, packs a lot of joy into its 250 pages. I was laughing from the very first page with this gay comedy of misrepresentation. Mr Thornton's novels are always entertaining and interesting visions of LGBTQ life in the world today.
I have read and enjoyed all of Mr Thornton's works, including the Boystown mysteries, the Pinx Video series, and especially Made and Femme.
If you've never read any of his books, try one; I wholeheartedly recommend them!
November 30, 2023
Christmas spirit
Another good book from Marshall. I really enjoyed this story. Great characters. The dialogue was fast and very amusing. No doubt the author will now be on the hate list by many. I love the word Libtard, what does it mean? I love that only in America can the word liberal be used so derisively. Sad. I don’t know if there is a follow up but I’ll be looking out for it.
Another good book from Marshall. I really enjoyed this story. Great characters. The dialogue was fast and very amusing. No doubt the author will now be on the hate list by many. I love the word Libtard, what does it mean? I love that only in America can the word liberal be used so derisively. Sad. I don’t know if there is a follow up but I’ll be looking out for it.
December 8, 2023
A short, not quite as silly book as I would have liked. It suffers a bit from soapbox-itis, though I do hope the judge in this story gets more than just a wrist slap for his behavior.
As for Gage and Calvin, I wouldn't mind meeting them again.
The single bed trope is one of the most idiotic tropes in existence.
As for Gage and Calvin, I wouldn't mind meeting them again.
The single bed trope is one of the most idiotic tropes in existence.
December 27, 2023
Perfect Christmas holiday read. Fun and funny. A good story, totally ridiculous but really original. A good amount of suspense around how things will turn out and lots of great, interesting characters. Some American political views which is just entertaining for a non American. There’s a lot more comedy than there is romance, but that’s fine by me.
January 31, 2024
Fun but a bit underdone
I still miss the Marshall Thornton of his earlier grizzled Chicago PI days, and the piano bar detective that came next. Still, Sentenced to Christmas was delightful. Betsy especially was a hoot. Her doing something kind at the end made me want more of these characters.
I still miss the Marshall Thornton of his earlier grizzled Chicago PI days, and the piano bar detective that came next. Still, Sentenced to Christmas was delightful. Betsy especially was a hoot. Her doing something kind at the end made me want more of these characters.
November 30, 2023
Thornton writes another LOL gem!
I don't know whether this will win a prize, but it certainly demonstrates Thornton's skill with humor and gay characters. It was just What I was looking for in a light holiday themed read.
I don't know whether this will win a prize, but it certainly demonstrates Thornton's skill with humor and gay characters. It was just What I was looking for in a light holiday themed read.
December 3, 2023
Like a 1930's screwball comedy
Really enjoyed. Thornton's "Sentenced to Christmas" is a fast paced read. Characters believable and a lot of comedic dialogue and witty repartee.Someone should make this into a movie!
Really enjoyed. Thornton's "Sentenced to Christmas" is a fast paced read. Characters believable and a lot of comedic dialogue and witty repartee.Someone should make this into a movie!
December 25, 2023
It’s a trip
But in a good way. I love the dad. All the quirky characters were fun. I don’t like that we really have liberals and conservatives fighting like this in real life, so that part was no fun. It’s a good book though, you should read it.
But in a good way. I love the dad. All the quirky characters were fun. I don’t like that we really have liberals and conservatives fighting like this in real life, so that part was no fun. It’s a good book though, you should read it.
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