All She Ever Wanted

by Patrick Redmond

Not everyone wants to fall in love. For Tina Ryan, it is simply a refuge for the weak, lonely and needy. Once she was like that herself - but not now. Following a turbulent, tormented childhood, she has reinvented herself to become strong, self-reliant and in control. She is everything she ever wanted to be and nothing, not even a man, will ever be allowed to threaten that. But she is also human. When love does enter her life, as unexpectedly as a mugging, it threatens this new personality she has worked so hard to create. And nothing can ever be allowed to do that. Control must be maintained and love must be on her terms. No matter how dreadful those terms might be ...

Genres: Fiction, Thriller, Psychological Thriller, Mystery, Adult, Crime

368 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2006

About the author

Patrick Redmond is an English author of psychological thrillers; typical themes include insanity, secrets and death. He attended Felsted School, then studied law at Leicester University and British Columbia in Vancouver. Wikipedia

Reviews

[Tânia · Rating 3 out of 5]

“They fuck you up, your mum and dad. They may not mean to, but they do. They fill you with the faults they had and add some extra just for you.” – Philip Larkin

Oh yes, all we ever wanted. This is another good psychological thriller from PR about the sins of parents being visited upon their children. Christine Ryan grows from a sweet young girl into a vicious young woman determined to take control of her life at all costs. The most glaring is the gradual disintegration of the personality which is - cleverly I might add -relayed in three different parts of her transformation from Tina into Chrissie.

It was pretty interesting to read about, particularly when you get to know what really ticked her off – the ultimate trigger. But also scary because I could relate to her in a way and she’s not a very likeable character. I think knowing her past and how it affected her in the present made it easier for me to sympathize with her.

The resolution took a surprising turn of events that I liked but I don’t trust that a weekend getaway works miracles on the mind. That felt too sudden so I‘m just gonna take it as a crack in the walls and not a way to wrap up the storyline quickly.

I do feel like the author repeated himself and didn’t have to conjure up so many scenes just to show us a pattern behavior. I think that was pretty clear during the transition from childhood to adulthood.

But the ending was spot-on! Be careful what you wish for… because you might just get it. And she did.

[Lucy Dawson · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book wasn't as good as Apple of my Eye which is the last Patrick Redmond book I read. The first half of the book describes the main character's childhood and how the way she was treated shaped her from being a quiet wallflower into a no-nonsense powerful woman who no-one messed with. That much was good, but when the book then dove into her adult life and her treating every single person like dirt but yet seemingly everyone came back for more because she was so irresistible, I felt a bit annoyed. The very end when it sums up what she wrote in her diary aged 14 and how her new found infamy has in an ironic way, granted her 'all she ever wanted' was clever. However for me I feel many of the characters should have grown a bit of backbone and told her where to go when she constantly bad mouthed them and made them feel small.
One more Patrick Redmond book to try - let's see where it rates in comparison to this one.

[Marjolein · Rating 5 out of 5]

Review All she ever wanted - Patrick Redmond:
A hypnotic psychological thriller. I've read all Redmond books I could find several years ago. At the time, there were only three. Now, I have discovered that he has written two more. All she ever wanted is a marvellously gripping story. Characters are all well developed, and that includes the supporting characters. The protagonist is first victim, then she becomes the bully. It's a fascinating process. Over and over the point is being made about the lasting influence parents have on their children. Five stars for this disconcerting book.

[Karen · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you're looking for a disconcerting psychological thriller, with the lead up to the crime as the focus of the story, ALL SHE EVER WANTED could be the book for you.

Tina was a weak, bullied, vulnerable child. Deserted by the father she adored, belittled by a mother that blamed her for everything that had gone wrong in her own life, Tina was a scrawny, ugly duckling child - the object of derision and cruelty by nearly everyone around her. Her only real emotional support, her aunt, tried to care for the girl that everybody else, if she was lucky, ignored. All she ever wanted was to be loved. Then Tina discovers that anger can be powerful. When the worm turns, it bites and suddenly Tina's not such a victim anymore - she's angry and she's hurt and she's very very controlled. Tina transforms into Chrissie, the classic ugly duckling to swan story, supplemented by her anger, Chrissie is always going to get in first with the cruel jibe, her anger never very far from the surface. Men desire her, people are scared of her. She's clawing her way into the fame and fortune that so many of her classmates vowed was for them, but never for Tina.

Unexpectedly, Chrissie falls in love, and she's simply not equipped to handle the feeling - she's scared, it threatens to undermine everything she's carefully crafted about herself. It makes her vulnerable and that's not a place where she wants to ever be again. Her life spirals out of control and the anger that she's used so much in the past to drag her out of bad places threatens to control her life totally.

ALL SHE EVER WANTED sounds like it could be a cliche looking for somewhere to live, but it's not. From the opening scene of the book - a couple of policemen talking about something awful; you know something's happened but you don't know what. We then go back through Chrissie's life, from her last childhood memory of her father, through the misery of her growing up years, into her escape from the bullying and her working life, through the transformation from ugly duckling to swan. You see her sudden realisation that she can control her own life, that conversion from victim to bully and the entire time, you're aware that something awful has happened but you don't know what. You don't know who the victim is, you don't know what the crime is and you have this sneaking horrible feeling that maybe, just maybe, Chrissie's done something dreadful. Once you do know what has happened, ALL SHE EVER WANTED keeps twisting right to the very last page. All the way through there's this increasing feeling of tension, growing with every step as Chrissie fights her way through life, as she meets the two men that will lead to the conclusion of the book.

The only thing that perhaps lets ALL SHE EVER WANTED down a little is that it's very dense, with a lot of dialogue and a lot of events that repeatedly show the same patterns of behaviour. Perhaps a little judicious cutting down of some of these scenes would have helped the pace even more, but the sense of creeping inevitability holds up well despite some short periods of exasperation with the padding. Chrissie's also not your average female character, maybe it's because she's been written by a man, probably, to this readers mind anyway, it's because she's not a stereotypical woman, even in the book her friends and colleagues give her a nickname of "Ballsy". What was really interesting about ALL SHE EVER WANTED is the way that it demonstrates the patterns of behaviour that people cling to - the victim becoming the bully, the damaged becoming the damager. Despite a couple of nagging minor issues with ALL SHE EVER WANTED, this was a good, creepy, disconcerting book, especially for people who aren't looking for a crime and resolution book.

[Certainshoes · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think it's the worst of the 4 books by Patrick Redmond, in spite of loving its writing i think this character is poorer than the others, and it lack capacity to really empathize with her.
However, its Patrick Redmond, so he always tries to show why she is the way she is, and why she does all the things, but, compared to the other books from this author, i think its the only one that i really didnt loved!
oh well, i still remember the story and i read it 2/3 years ago, so it can't be that bad... it's nicely written, i love how he writes! it's just not so good as the other ones...

I recomend: apple of my eye and the wishing game from the same author!

[Marina Stoj · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely love this book. As soon as I started reading I couldn't put it down. You just want to keep reading to see whether the main character ends up creating a better life for herself and whether she survives after having a terrible childhood of neglect and being bullied. I think people can definitely relate to the characters in the book, especially the main character for having to become a strong person because of the harsh circumstances of her childhood. Definitely recommend it for anyone who reads thriller/crime books. Enjoy!

[Nancy · Rating 2 out of 5]

If it weren't for Patrick Redmond's pacing of a story and a certain technique he has that I can't exactly put my finger on, I most likely wouldn't have finished this book.
He makes his point over and over again about the fact parents can have long lasting effects on their children. The same phrases are repeated, but somehow I still want to find some other books he has written and see how they are. Something Dangerous was better than this one.

[Helen · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book had no redeeming features; it was simply dreadful and the worst book I've read in many years. If a few exclamation marks were added here and there, it could have been written by a 13 year old. I cannot believe that the person who wrote this also wrote the amazing The Wishing Game (full 5 stars). No more Patrick Redmond for me.

[Mathangi Srinivasan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Its creepy most of the times. Though the basic message is "you can overcome your fears, conquer shit and face the world" there is too much drama!! story was pretty good, characters were over-explained.. climax was a bit of a let down.. the only thing kinda cool was.. probably knowing you wouldn't be as pig headed as the protagonist for stupid life situations

[Olly Adlam · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well what can I say, this book has been a rollercoaster of emotions for me.

I feel very strongly when I read books and this was no exception. I felt sympathetic for Tina in part 1 when she's bullied and neglected by her parents, it upset me that someone so sweet and innocent could be treated that way and begged for things to improve for her.

As soon as she retaliated I felt how she felt, good, it was amazing. And reading through the development in part 1 was probably the best part of the book.

Part 2 also was amazing, the fact that she could get any man, whenever she wanted, however she wanted. Chrissie had complete control over everything in her life and again that feeling translated, not that I live my life like that but it felt good for her sake.

Part 3 is where things changed drastically, some of the thoughts and dreams she was having actually fucked with me mentally and I genuinely feel sick when I think about them, I feel the emotional decay that Chrissie was undergoing and that just helped me connect with her even more.

This book is amazing, if you haven't read it, do. The way everything is conveyed to you by the author is amazing and the emotional connection you get is unmatched. I cannot recommend it enough.

Feel like I need to see a counsellor now lol

[Lilly Peters · Rating 3 out of 5]

this book was hard to read, in a way because of that i really appreciated the authors writing. The way you were made to hate Chrissie but relate to her and sympathise with her at the same ti me was clever, but made for discomfort on the readers end. With the first chapter we sympathies for Tina, and wish she does get her wish for it is hard to she a innocent little kid get kicked around by everyone and not be able to stand up for her self. From seeing Tinas point of view we understand why Chrissie is the way she is and how the thirst for control is her defence mechanism cause Tina has never eliminated all of her demons just pushed them down far from reach, and embodied someone who was above weakness ‘Chrissie’ cause she then could not be hurt, she could not love which meant people leaving would not hurt her. The ending was unexpected i was thinking Chrissie would be the one to kill, i was surprised when she wasn’t.

some bits were quite hard to read though. it felt like Chrissie was insulting and attacking someone every page and made it not very easy to read but i think that was the desired effect.

Its a good book and i like how is questions that you need to be careful what you wish for. The last line was very powerful.

[charlie.s_chapters · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book! I read it quite a while ago but it's always been one that I've remembered. I remember thinking that the decisions the characters were making weren't so different to what I would do, or their reactions so different to what mine would be, this was until I got to the end.... It was gripping and I was hooked pretty much from the start, maybe because the characters were relatable but then I'm really not sure whether that's a good thing. It's definitely up there with the better psychological thrillers that I have read and definitely my favourite Patrick Redmond novel that I've read.

All She Ever Wanted

[Mary Casas · Rating 5 out of 5]

ɪ ɴᴇᴇᴅᴇᴅ ᴀ ғɪᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ᴛᴏᴘ ᴜᴘ! ᴛʜɪs ʙᴏᴏᴋ ʜᴀᴅ ᴍᴇ ɢʟᴜᴇᴅ ᴏɴ ᴇsᴘᴇᴄɪᴀʟʟʏ ᴛᴏᴡᴀʀᴅs ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴅ. ɪᴛ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ᴍᴇ ғᴇᴇʟ ʟɪᴋᴇ ɪ ᴡᴀs ɪɴ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ sᴄᴇɴᴇ! ᴀʟsᴏ ɪᴛ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ʜɪɢʜʟɪɢʜᴛs ᴛʜᴇ ɪᴍᴘᴏʀᴛᴀɴᴄᴇ ᴏғ ɴᴏᴛ ʟᴇᴀᴠɪɴɢ ᴀɴʏᴏɴᴇ ʙᴇʜɪɴᴅ ᴡɪᴛʜᴏᴜᴛ ᴀɴ ᴇxᴘʟᴀɴᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴀs ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴏɴᴇsᴛʟʏ ᴏᴡᴇ ɪᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇᴍ. ᴡʜᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ ᴜɴᴇxᴘʟᴀɪɴᴇᴅ, ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʀᴜʟʏ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ᴍᴀʀᴋ ᴀɴᴅ ɪᴛ ᴄᴀɴ ʀᴜɪɴ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ɢʀᴜᴅɢᴇ. sᴘᴇᴀᴋɪɴɢ ᴏғ ɢʀᴜᴅɢᴇ, ᴛʜɪs ʙᴏᴏᴋ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ᴍᴇ ғᴇᴇʟ ʜᴏᴡ ɪᴛ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴛʀᴀɴsғᴏʀᴍ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴍᴇɴᴛᴀʟ sᴛᴀᴛᴇ ᴡʜᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏɴᴛɪɴᴜᴏᴜsʟʏ ʜᴏʟᴅ ᴏɴ ᴛᴏ ɢʀᴜᴅɢᴇ, ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴡɪʟʟ ʙᴇ ᴇɴᴅʟᴇss ᴊᴜsᴛɪғɪᴄᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ʙᴇʜɪɴᴅ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇᴍɪɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜʀsᴇʟғ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ sᴛʀᴏɴɢᴇʀ ʙᴜᴛ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ɴᴏᴛ ʙᴇɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ. ᴀʟᴡᴀʏs sᴇᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀsᴇʟғ ғʀᴇᴇ, ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ʙʟᴀᴍᴇ, ʟɪᴠᴇ ᴘᴇᴀᴄᴇғᴜʟʟʏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀᴠᴏɪᴅ ʜᴏʟᴅɪɴɢ ɢʀᴜᴅɢᴇs ᴀs ɪᴛ ᴄᴀɴ ʙᴇ ᴅᴀɴɢᴇʀᴏᴜs

[Julia · Rating 2 out of 5]

As someone who read all of this author's books and loved them, this one has left me quite disappointed. A lot of the dialogue seems like it was taken from "The Wishing Game" and the only thing changed was the names. It also dragged on a bit what with every 10th page having a dialogue about how rage and hatred makes you so powerful. I did enjoy the scene between Philippa and Christina all grown up though.

[Alyssa · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book will forever hold the prize for worst book I've ever read. I think this is a prime example of a man having absolutely NO idea how to write from the perspective of a woman. Just... ugh. I'll never forget this.

Also I need to add. Who just... TICKLES SOMEONES BALLS. There was no need for this. I can't. 😭

[Kevin Parker · Rating 1 out of 5]

I've just wasted 10 days of my life reading this crap.

[Graham Watts · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another great read by Patrick Redmond. No idea where the story was going to go. Highly recommend!

[Peter Eaton · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not really my genre.

[Angela · Rating 3 out of 5]

My first book by this particular author and it was quite disappointing. It was an average read that was a little predictable on occasion.

[Cloe Cassiopeias · Rating 3 out of 5]

Baca buku psychological thriller selalu meninggalkan perasaan tidak enak. Rasanya harus segera cari bacaan lain biar nggak keingat2. Tina sebagai anak kecil sering dibuly dan di ejek dilingkungannya, ayahnya meninggalkannya dengan ibunya yang membencinya. Perlahan2 Tina berubah sampai akhirnya dia menjadi Crissie, yang berani, cantik, dan dikagumi banyak orang, sekaligus ditakuti. Kemudian dia bertemu Jack dan Alexander, Jack yang membuat dia merasa menjadi Tina kembali dan Alexander yang mau melakukan apapun untuknya.

Karakter tokoh2 utamanya agak mirip dengan karakter di TV Series Revenge. Crissie mirip dengan Emily, gambaran Jack mirip dengan Jack, dan Alexander mengingatkan akan Daniel. Dan dari dua-duanya saya paling tidak suka karakter Jack. Crissie dan Alexander ini bisa dibilang sama2 orang yang punya masa lalu yang traumatis, sehingga dibalik pribadi mereka yang sekarang, diam-diam mereka meyimpan 'sisi lain'. Kalau ini cerita romance saya ingin mereka saling menyembuhkan. :D

Anyway, kalau dipikir-pikir tragedinya tidak semengerikan yang saya pikirkan untuk ukuran cerita thriller. Seharusnya selalu ada pilihan lain. Tokoh paling favorit, Alexander.

[Martina Sartor · Rating 5 out of 5]

All she ever wanted. A dream come true.
Un grandissimo thriller psicologico, dove la tensione è tutta giocata sui rapporti fra i personaggi e sulle loro reazioni.
La prima parte è interessantissima per vedere la trasformazione di Tina (Christina), ragazzina da timida e insicura, bruttina, vittima dei compagni e ferita dalla fuga del padre, in Chrissie, una ragazza sicura di sé, bella, autosufficiente e forte. Quanto poi questa forza sia una maschera si vedrà solo in seguito.
La seconda parte sembra patire un calo di tensione, in quanto pare non succeda nulla di eclatante. In realtà ci si accorge solo dopo che la tensione è tutta giocata su un piano psicologico e che anche i fatti insignificanti servono a preparare il terreno.
Il modo in cui vengono articolati i rapporti psicologici fra i protagonisti è magistrale e, finchè non si arriva alla fine, non si capisce cos'è successo.
Infatti il libro si apre con i poliziotti che interrogano una non precisata persona sospettata di qualcosa di atroce e chiedono di raccontare la storia dall'inizio. Da lì parte il racconto, tornando indietro nel tempo all'inizio di tutto. Fino al sorprendente, intensissimo finale.

[Tanti · Rating 1 out of 5]

One star from me, not because the writing is bad, eventhough the book does repeat itself from time to time, but because it left a bad taste in my mouth. I don't feel for Chrissie Ryan at all. It's so hard to sympathize with her, despite knowing her background, of why she does what she does, what shapes her into a hard, cold and wicked woman. You can be wicked and still be wickedly charming, which she is not. And i think the end of the story is disappointing too.

[Will Sims - Bennetts · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the first book by Patrick Redmond I have read . It's the story of Tina a girl who dotes on her father . One day he walks out on herself and her mother . I will leave it there to avoid spoilers , I have to say the beginning of the book detailing her childhood was a little boring and repetitive , however I'm very glad I stuck with it as it turns into a brilliant psychological thriller I almost didn't want it to end . If all this guys books are as good as this I will be happy.

[Mahareni Sukadi · Rating 3 out of 5]

Gak nemu cover indo-nya.Seadanya ajah.
Berasa bc novelnya Sidney Sheldon.Tokoh utamanya mnderita d masa2 kcilnya,brhasil bangkit n jd populer,tp kmd trpuruk lg n jd org buangan.
Yg bkin mules lg,si tokoh utama (Christina Ryan) jatuh cnta sm karakter Jack,tp Jack-nya malah cinta sm Allison.Haduuuuh...jd benci2 cinta aku sm si Jack.Paling gak kuat sm karakter dg nama ini.

[Tessa Maree Nielsen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Hmm. .
A weird book, basically a story going on inside people's minds.
About a quarter of the way through I felt like stopping, because it felt dragged out, but it was one of those stories where you want to find out what happens at the end, but dont want to read 300 pages to get there. But I did.
all around an "interesting" Story, giving some insight into why some crazy people, become crazy.

[Babalwa Kurebwa]

Wow! This book really hit close to home. It definately isn't your happy ending kind of novel and it makes you reflect on your own life and the relationships which exist ebtween parents and their children..

[Asferdinand · Rating 2 out of 5]

Came so close to not finishing, but I'm such a sucker for a hanging set-up. And then the denoument was so very not worth it. One dimensional characters acting in internally inconsistent ways and also homophobia hooray!

[Cathy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Started off really well but I got a bit bored part way through... t'was a little obvious and reminded me of a Martina Cole novel.. anyway, I finished it but won't be leaping to find anything else of his.

[Klaudi · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is absolutely amazing. The psychological thriller is almost impossible to put down as it will catch your attention after a few pages! Such a wonderful,deep book with a very unexpected twist in the tale and a brilliant ending.

[Vina · Rating 3 out of 5]

awal cerita sudah bagus membangun karakter Tina,
tapi makin ke belakang makin gak fokus
terakhir malah pamungkasnya tokoh yang gak disangka2
kirain Tina yang jadi penutup cerita
haha... masih terlalu jauh disamakan dengan karya sidney sheldon ternyata.