Little Boy, I Know Your Name: A Second-Generation Memoir from Inherited Holocaust Trauma

by Mitchell Raff

Breaking the Inherited Cycle of Trauma

In his unflinchingly honest memoir, Mitchell Raff candidly recounts his journey to overcome generational trauma and break free from decades of addiction. With raw vulnerability, he lays bare his destructive coping mechanisms and the far-reaching consequences they wrought on his life and on those around him.

Beaten mercilessly as a child by his Holocaust-survivor mother, Mitchell was later kidnapped from Los Angeles to Israel before finding refuge with loving relatives back in America. In his adult life, the echoes of trauma forced Mitchell into patterns of substance abuse, sexual vices, and toxic relationships. But at a certain point, Mitchell explains, you need to own your decisions, for better or worse. After years of painful self-examination and work, Mitchell settled into a healthy relationship and found the strength to endure blows that once would have destroyed him.

Mitchell’s unfiltered account of his trials, failures, and ultimate breakthrough to become the man he always wanted to be is living proof that cycles of generational trauma can be broken, that even the deepest wounds can soften, and that though the road is difficult, it is within reach to not only survive but thrive.

236 pages, Paperback

Published November 3, 2023

About the author

A second-generation Holocaust survivor who grew up in Los Angeles. As a child, he was kidnapped and taken to Israel where he lived for a year and a half before the private investigator hired by his family located him. This led to a lifelong connection with the Jewish homeland, and as a young man, he returned to Israel to serve in the Israeli Defense Force.

A former business owner, Mitchell now resides in Southern California and is the owner and director of an outreach charity, Clothing the Homeless. Little Boy, I Know Your Name: A Second-Generation Memoir from Inherited Holocaust Trauma is his first book, and it is an intensely personal examination of how he survived being the child of survivors.

Reviews

[Ellie Pretsch · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and River Grove books for an ARC of this memoir.

As a teacher, one of the things that have been stressed in recent staff meetings is the concept of generational trauma. A significant portion of my students have had challenging familial situations or have friends/family experiencing trauma both first and second hand. This is a topic that has been coming up more and more in the news and media, which is a critical mental health concern. Little Boy, I Know Your Name is a prime example of how generational trauma has the trickle effect, affecting generation after generation in one way or another,

Author Mitchell Raff does a great job describing his childhood, parenthood and the trickle down effect that generational trauma continues to have on families and the difficulties in changing behavior away from this trauma. Mitchell’s parents are abusive and neglectful as they try to forge ahead, broken after surviving the Holocaust. Due to the Holocaust being such a widely affecting atrocity in history, it made me wonder how many families are suffering through generational trauma because of this event.

Mitchell spends the majority of his story, however, identifying how his childhood affected his relationships and parenting. This memoir is very introspective, where Mitchell identifies all his failings in maintaining healthy relationships and the potential whys behind them, all the while trying to make changes to be a better person. Between absent parenting and using addiction to cope, he attempts to change the path of his family and stop the path of destruction that trauma has woven into his family.

I found this memoir to be a very quick read and difficult to put down. I empathized with Mitchell as he struggled through his experiences and attempted to make better choices. I found this to be an incredibly moving memoir which so many can relate to, answering the “why” someone may be treating others poorly and how generational trauma seeps through to children not even born yet.

[Louise Gray · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book covers the fascinating and neglected subject of inter generational trauma linked to Holocaust survivors and does so in a brutally honest way. The author does not shy away from his own poor choices and behaviours, highlighting them and illustrating his understanding of how they impacted others. His observation about whether he would choose not to be born at all was deeply insightful and courageous. The Holocaust has had such lasting impacts on so many and this book shows the heroism as well as the price so many survivors paid. A fascinating and well written book. While I found the author and his decisions challenging, I deeply admire his honesty and preparedness to lay his life open in order to educate and help others.

[NathanielReads · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just want to jump right into it, because why not? We start with Mitchell, who holds nothing back. He takes you on the ride of the high and (largely) low points of having lived through the trauma of the Holocaust, not as a survivor, but as the son of someone who was. And wow, you can feel how that trauma trickles down through the generations.

His childhood? Honestly, heartbreaking. His mom, who is clearly carrying a lot of her own hurt, ends up passing that hurt onto him in the form of abuse and neglect. It is hard to read in places, but it is true. The sort of truth that makes you feel like you need to hug your younger self or Mitchell's younger self, for that matter.

But then we have Uncle Issa and Aunt Sally, and oh my god, I love Sally. She is this bright shining light amidst all this misery. Her love for Mitchell is so real and strong. She has lived through her own hell, and yet she still finds ways to douse him with affection when he makes choices that break her heart. The way she cares for him, keeps him safe, and just plain adores him… is beautiful. And when Issa dies, you grieve with her like it is your own loss. She is hard, but she is a person, and this combination makes her irretrievable.

What I was most struck by, however, was how this novel speaks to family. Not the kind that lives in fairy tales the knotty, complicated, aching kind. The kind that leaves you questioning everything and somehow still hoping for a connection. Mitchell's relationship with his mom is heart wrenching and infuriating, but it also shows how trauma does not just impact one person; it filters down. And yet, in the midst of all of this, he is trying so desperately to comprehend, to forgive, and to end the cycle. That journey? It is powerful.

So yeah, this is not a breezy read. But it is a necessary one. It is about suffering, sure, but also about healing, love, and the courage it takes to confront the past. Mitchell Raff writes his book with so much heart that it is impossible not to be affected.

[Maria · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mitchell's book is a rare look into real life done with honesty and heart. Mitchell takes you on his roller coaster ride and doesn't look back. Others may have given up, but not Mitchell. He keeps soldering through and we as readers are intrigued and with him every step of the way

[James Buchanan · Rating 5 out of 5]

The more we learn about inherited trauma the more we see how real it is and how lasting its effects.

The Holocaust remains one of the most poisonous of traumatic events reaching down through the first generation of survivors into second and third generations. The author of Little Boy, I know Your Name is a second generation survivor who as the child of first generation survivors was never able to understand the abuse heaped upon him by his mother, the sadness that permeated his father's eyes, or the unconditional love of his aunt and uncle who, ultimately, became his saviors.

The story is told in two parts. The first is his childhood where his mother--a woman he has no memory of--says to him, "Little boy, I know your name..." while he is four and sitting on a tricycle in a fenced in area behind his daycare. From there, she takes him from the loving home of his aunt and uncle which begins years of abuse that culminates with her kidnapping him to Israel at age ten as a US judge was about to hand custody back to his aunt and uncle.

The second half is the author's adult life plagued by the trauma of his childhood. He suffers deep self-doubts, insecurity, sexual addition, substance abuse, failed relationships, and much more before finally seeking help that leads to heeling.

At its heart, this is a book that shows how and why the Holocaust continues to live with us and impact successive generations of survivors.

[Amy Tilton · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely was hooked after reading the first couple of pages and I finished the book in a few hours. To think that the Holocaust still affects people of the 21st century and destroys lives still to this day just befuddles me. The author was able to communicate his horrific childhood very simply and quite bravely. Despite all the violence Mitchell Raff endures from his mother, he doesn’t seem bitter or angry.. He is able to compartmentalize the bad parts of his life from the good which is quite remarkably after all the mental and physical abuse he sustains at the hands of his holocaust surviving mother. I think the best part of this book is how the author despite the years of abuse, he is still able to accept love from other people in his life. He so gently describes and communicates to the reader how special his relationship with his Uncle Issa is throughout his life, Although this book is undoubtedly sad and unbelievably painful to read, you can’t put it down. He learned only violence from his mother and nothing else. It takes so much courage to tell a story like this. Mitchell Raff not only. tells his story so humbly but so eloquently. He really has inspired me.

[Marilee Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was blessed to read the book, "Little Boy, I Know Your Name."Mitchell Raff narrated the story of his life as a child of two survivors of Dauscha, Germany concentration camps. Father a distant, emotionally-detached man who ran away from Mitchell, and the atrocities that he and his sister faced as children of a violent, damaged, bitter mother who appeared to believe her life would be much better if they were not around.
I highly recommend this eye-opening book on how he survived the early years and the rather rough time he had as an adult trying to acclimate to life as an adult, with all he had experienced and witnessed in his past.

[Eric Kessler · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have nothing but admiration for Mitchell Raff's bravery and willingness to tell his story. He has had quite the life and I am glad he is still here to share it with me and the world. I can not imagine Raff's experience of living through the many traumas he did, but through his story telling I have a window into how hard it was and how unjust that a little boy should be put through the inappropriate pain trauma of his elders. We are both descendants of Holocaust survivors and the same age. My family fortunately had immigrated to the US prior to WWII so I do not have any relatives that I knew who were held by the Nazis, but relatives of my grandparent's generation who remained in Europe perished in the death camps. I have always been curious how that trauma found its way into my parents and then into me. Raff's story has re-lit the desire to look deeper into that.

Raff is a gift to trauma survivors by unflinchingly addressing the ways he coped. I have personal experience and family history with addictive practices and hold his journey with nothing less than awe. There are countless ways addiction finds its grasp on behavior in our lives, and Raff models in such stark honesty his path into and out of its hold. For that he is a blessing.

Little Boy, I Know Your Name was not an easy read. I was full of emotion as I read on, unable to put the book down. The Holocaust has left its trauma on so many millions of people, both Jews and non Jews alike. To have a guide through trauma such as Mitchell Raff helps more and more of us to heal and to feel that our experiences are not as isolated as we might feel. Thank you Mitchell Raff.

[Esme Levine · Rating 3 out of 5]

Little Boy, I Know Your Name is a heartbreaking memoir of a man who inherited the traumas of his Holocaust surviving family. Mitchell Raff paints a painful history of the chapters of his life growing up in the midst of the trauma's manifestations, including the physical abuse he suffered at the hands of his mother.

As a frequent reader of books with tough themes and topics, I'm finding myself struggling to digest what I read. This topic is so important and well-worth the read, but be sure to emotionally prepare yourself. Experiencing Raff's life, as he wrote it, I was struck by how drawn in I was, experiencing each memory to the fullest extent I'm able (as a reader). Wonderfully written, very complicated book that everyone must read. ** Don't skip the epilogue! It's crucial to tying together WHY Raff wanted to share his story!

[Keith Dobbins · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mitchell Raff courageously shares his life story in a way few would. His self-analysis including many years of therapy to understand some of the root causes of his personal failings and relationships, attributed in large part to the trauma suffered by his parents and close family members - Holocaust survivors, is conveyed in a very personal way. Mitchell had to overcome the scars of physical and emotional abuse he suffered as a child by his own mother, and later inflicted upon himself through various addictions, as a means to provide some hope to others trying to overcome their own trauma and addictions.

I commend Mitchell for laying bare and sharing his life story in such a compelling read that makes it hard to put down, as you want to know how it all ends.

[Jill Corey · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book has really opened my eyes to the reality of how one persons trauma can effect generations to come. Mitchell Raff’s honest and brutal story as a second generation survivor of the holocaust really opened my eyes to what it means to survive trauma. While painful to read at times, Mitchell reflects on the bright places in his life that made it possible to survive at all giving hope to readers that even the smallest acts of kindness matter. Deeply moving book that will leave you thinking for days afterwards about the ways our actions can make or break another person.

[Kimberley Gall · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was fantastic! A real eye opener and learning experience!

[Literary Titan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Readers looking for a book that hits you right in the feels and leaves you thinking long afterward, will not want to miss Little Boy, I Know Your Name by Mitchell Raff. This memoir dives into the author’s life, showing how inherited trauma from the Holocaust shaped him and the people around him. It’s raw, emotional, and brutally honest, painting a picture of a childhood full of pain, survival, and moments of unexpected love.

From the first chapter, this book pulls no punches. Raff shares heartbreaking stories of his abusive mother and the chaos that surrounded his young life. One scene that will stick with me forever is when his mom threw him out of the house into the cold night. It’s gut-wrenching, and I couldn’t help but feel for the little boy he was. But there’s balance in the way he writes. He also talks about the kindness and stability he found with his uncle and aunt, who stepped in as surrogate parents. Their love gave the story some much-needed light, and I found myself rooting for them just as much as for Raff.

The focus on his childhood trauma is the primary focus of the book, and I found myself wishing for more information about his father’s struggles or his adult life. But maybe that’s the point, though. It really allows readers to sit with the weight of everything he went through. A moment I remember was when his therapist called him a "well-dressed poser." It was a wake-up call for Raff and, honestly, a moment that made me reflect on my own life, too. We all wear masks, don’t we?

What really makes this book special to me is how it tackles inherited trauma. Raff’s family, like so many Holocaust survivors, tried to bury the pain. But it seeped through in ways they couldn’t control. It’s these quiet and powerful memories that make the book more than just a story about one man’s struggles.

By the time I finished, I felt a mix of heartbreak and hope. The ending, where Raff reflects on his son Joshua and the possibility of breaking free from the cycle of pain, strikes just the right note. It’s not a happily-ever-after, but it’s real, and it left me believing healing is possible.

I’d recommend Little Boy, I Know Your Name to anyone who loves memoirs that dig deep. If you liked The Glass Castle or Night, Raff's writing will resonate with you. It’s not a breezy read, but it’s the kind of book that reminds you of the strength it takes to confront the past and move forward.

[Chip Clark · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is not for the squeamish, or those looking for something lite to read. That said, it is a book that is important with today's political climate.

What is it to be a survivor of the holocaust? I don't know. I am neither Jewish nor related to anyone who was in the holocaust. I cannot speak about what it is to suffer anti-Semitism or struggle with the nightmares for those who survived the holocaust, but I DO live in a world where these issues are at the forefront for who we will become. Our society is at a crossroads where we can either repeat history, or we can somehow learn to grow beyond our past, to become better humans. This book made me think about myself and my own journey, and how my journey is interwoven with others. I do not live isolated from the world. I am part of it and owe it to the world to participate in making it better.

Mitchell Raff has a unique perspective on not just being Jewish. His parents survived the holocaust. What effect had those horrors played on the lives that raised Mitchell? And what was the inherited trauma on Mitchell? His was not an easy life, but he makes no excuses. Mitchell does blame the holocaust for the struggles in his own life. Instead, he examines the effects and what he had to do to get through to the other side.

Like I said, this is NOT an easy read. But it is important to read. We need to understand not just the tortures we put people through during war or genocide, but the effects those tortures have on the survivors, their children, and generations to come.

We can become better humans. Mitchell did. It isn't going to be easy, but it is very necessary. "Little Boy, I Know Your Name" is a story of a man who did more than survive the pain. He found a way to become a better person, even though the holocaust loomed large in his inherited past.

[Eddie · Rating 5 out of 5]

LITTLE BOY, I KNOW YOUR NAME - is not an easy read. The raw emotion in the pages as the narrative exposes the pain of inherited trauma is at times visceral and uncomfortable. The missed chances for healing, the doors closed by death and distance, the 'almost' of too many loves - I'm not gonna lie - make this book pathetic drama in the mode of Greek Theatre - tragedies that you cannot change and cannot look away from.

And yet somehow, Raff manages to survive and eventually thrive. This account of that process through years of therapy and self-examination, and most importantly through engagement with the world at large rings of hope.

This is a book for anyone who has ever felt hopeless or locked into unhealthy choices and bitter legacies. It is a story of breaking cycles for ourselves as well as for those that come after.

***

Disclosure: I was an early writer/interviewer for this book. Today I crossed a career milestone - a project I was part of which developed into a book long after my involvement was completed and manifested into an actual physical object I can hold in my hands and read - weird and gloriously cool!

Full disclosure: I spent nearly two years of my life meeting with Mitch twice weekly, sitting on his couch and asking probing questions, digging into the family dynamics, the pain and the joy, the successes and the setbacks. In all that time there was a sense of this thing that might become - this book that could translate the complicated story of his life into pages that could give others hope. To see how he turned the raw recordings of our sessions into such a powerful narrative is a great joy.

[David Carriere · Rating 5 out of 5]

Little Boy, I Know Your Name is a memoir of startling honesty and emotional precision. Mitchell Raff excavates the buried layers of inherited Holocaust trauma with an unvarnished rawness that few memoirists dare to reach. His recounting of childhood violence, kidnapping, and the fragile search for belonging reveals not only the scars left by generational suffering but also the ways those scars shape addiction, intimacy, and identity.

Raff’s voice is clear, unflinching, and deeply human. The emotional arc from chaos and self-destruction to accountability, healing, and love creates a narrative that is both painful and profoundly hopeful. This isn’t just a story of surviving trauma; it’s a testament to the grit required to dismantle patterns that feel bigger than any one life.

Readers who appreciate searing memoirs in the lineage of The Choice, Educated, or Heavy will find Raff’s story unforgettable. It is a powerful reminder that even the heaviest inheritance can be transformed.

[Audrey Stein · Rating 5 out of 5]

My appreciation to the publisher and Netgalley for an advance reader copy.

This book could not have been better timed. In Israel, an entire generation has been traumatized by the terrorist attacks of Oct. 7, which were the most serious crimes against the Jewish people since the Second World War. The atrocities of that horrible day will weigh upon not just the survivors, but their children.

In this harrowing volume, Mitchell Raff describes a phenomenon that is little understood, which is how impact of genocide can continue into future generations.

Raff is unsparing with himself and his family as he describes how the trauma of the Holocaust carried into the behavior of his parents and impacted upon his life. This is not always an easy read. But it is an essential one. It is also admirable.

[Gregory P. · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have had the pleasure to have known Mitchell Raff for the past couple of years through his work with his organization, Clothing the Homeless. During this time, I have seen his dedication and caring work on the front lines, face to face with hundreds of unhoused people. I have watched him gather, lead and direct dozens of caring volunteers who assist him in carrying out his mission.

Only coincidentally did I learn he had written a book. Curious to learn more, I read his memoir, Little Boy, I Know Your Name". I was shocked at his story and the trauma he endured. I was inspired by his resilience and complete transparency about subjects so many hide away. Thank you, Mitchell, for your courage to tell your story, and sling shot hurt and grief into your mission to help others. Well done.

[Ethan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reflecting on the darkest chapters of one’s life is never easy, but Mitch has done so with remarkable courage, reopening deep scars to share his story. His memoir is both heartbreaking and inspiring. Despite the heavy themes of abuse, addiction, and personal loss, a thread of hope runs through the narrative. Mitch doesn’t shy away from revealing his traumas, flaws, and setbacks, reminding us that overcoming adversity is not a linear journey, but a continual effort—one that requires showing up, even on the darkest days. Through his honesty, Mitch offers readers a sense of possibility, showing that strength can be found even in the midst of struggle.

[Taketo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Raff's challenging upbringing and generational trauma from the Holocaust shaped him into what he is today -- a resilient and ever-grateful individual. The book is candid, vulnerable, and occasionally heart-wrenching, yet the persistent presence of hope and the eventual attainment of peace made it an enthralling read. I will always remember the following quote from the book, "Be grateful for your problems. You never know what the person next to you is going through and they would give up anything to switch places with you."

[Alex Dugger · Rating 5 out of 5]

A glimpse into a part of the Holocaust that rarely gets talked about, what happened to those who survived and went on to live relatively normal lives after the war? Obviously that experience is something you will carry for years to come and this book delves into one such story. A journey of healing that is very emotional and sometimes difficult to read, but always leaves room for hope. I highly recommend it.

[Reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mitchell provide a point of view perspective of the trials and tribulations of a 2nd generation Jew that navigates through his life with an unusual upbringing. He provides a raw human look at his day to day, and continues to keep living his life no matter the outcome of his decisions.

[Back To · Rating 5 out of 5]

I couldn’t put this book down.

[Leticia Mauricio · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book is very good, I recommend it.

[Daniela Talarico · Rating 5 out of 5]

Little Boy, I know Your Name will have you interested from the beginning. This book is absolutely heartbreaking yet inspiring and eye opening at the same time. Great read and great insight into how trauma affects multiple generations.