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The End of the World as We Know It: Scenes from a Life
In the tradition of Rick Bragg's All Over but the Shoutin', Goolrick has crafted a classic memoir of childhood and the secrets a heart can't forget. With devastating honesty and razor-sharp wit, he looks back with love, and with anger, at the parents who both created his world and destroyed it.
227 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2007
55 people are currently reading
1500 people want to read
About the author
Robert Goolrick
17 books474 followersI was born in a small university town in Virginia, a town in which, besides teaching, the chief preoccupations were drinking bourbon and telling complex anecdotes, stories about people who lived down the road, stories about ancestors who had died a hundred years before. For southerners, the past is as real as the present; it is not even past, as Faulkner said.
I went to Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore and then lived in Europe for several years, thinking that I would be an actor or a painter, two things for which I had a passion that outran my talent. I wrote an early novel, and then my parents disinherited me, so I moved to New York, which is where small-town people move to do and say the things they can't do or say at home, and I ended up working in advertising, a profession that feeds on young people who have an amorphous talent and no particular focus.
Fired in my early fifties, the way people are in advertising, I tried to figure out what to do with the rest of my life, and I came back around to the pastime that had filled the days and nights of my childhood: telling complex anecdotes about the living and the dead. I think, when we read, we relish and devour remarkable voices, but these are, in the end, stories we remember.
I live in a tiny town in Virginia in a great old farmhouse on a wide and serene river with my dog, whose name is Preacher. Since he has other interests besides listening to my stories, I tell them to you.
I went to Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore and then lived in Europe for several years, thinking that I would be an actor or a painter, two things for which I had a passion that outran my talent. I wrote an early novel, and then my parents disinherited me, so I moved to New York, which is where small-town people move to do and say the things they can't do or say at home, and I ended up working in advertising, a profession that feeds on young people who have an amorphous talent and no particular focus.
Fired in my early fifties, the way people are in advertising, I tried to figure out what to do with the rest of my life, and I came back around to the pastime that had filled the days and nights of my childhood: telling complex anecdotes about the living and the dead. I think, when we read, we relish and devour remarkable voices, but these are, in the end, stories we remember.
I live in a tiny town in Virginia in a great old farmhouse on a wide and serene river with my dog, whose name is Preacher. Since he has other interests besides listening to my stories, I tell them to you.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 372 reviews
November 17, 2010
I heard Mr. Goolrick on my local NPR affiliate and was intrigued by his story. The book is beautifully written, a fine description of the world of the white South. Great details, a boozy, journey through childhood memory.
The complaint of other reviewers that this book was too depressive and negative isn't one I share. In fact, I was somewhat refreshed to read a family memoir that doesn't wrap things up in a la-la-la happy fashion at the end. Goolrick is devasted by the events of his past and he doesn't pretend to be healed, "over it" or fixed in any way. I found that truthful and compelling.
Many people who experience rape as a child, incest, extreme family dysfunction, and who choose to write about it, are often coming from a place where it's all better now, all figured out and processed and healed. And Mr. Goolrick is clearly still struggling and hurt. I don't think he has to wait until he's all hunky-dory to write his story.
The complaint of other reviewers that this book was too depressive and negative isn't one I share. In fact, I was somewhat refreshed to read a family memoir that doesn't wrap things up in a la-la-la happy fashion at the end. Goolrick is devasted by the events of his past and he doesn't pretend to be healed, "over it" or fixed in any way. I found that truthful and compelling.
Many people who experience rape as a child, incest, extreme family dysfunction, and who choose to write about it, are often coming from a place where it's all better now, all figured out and processed and healed. And Mr. Goolrick is clearly still struggling and hurt. I don't think he has to wait until he's all hunky-dory to write his story.
January 21, 2010
I didn't know what I was getting into when I picked up this book. It was like I picked up a ticking bomb without knowing it. I grew up in a chaotic, dysfunctional family where I never felt safe. I was constantly trying to crack the code and make things better in my family. Eventually I just wished I wasn't born at all. I've blocked out most of my childhood. Reading Robert Goolrick's book brought back so many memories, memories I didn't know I would ever recover. I actually had to write him and let him know how powerful his book was for me.
In terms of memoirs, this one is a doozy. I loved the way the book sucks you in with these beautiful stories and then hits you over the head with the truth. The set up is similar to the way dysfunctional families tend to operate. Initially everything seems normal, even glamorous. The parents come across as witty, attractive, intelligent and the kids seem perfectly behaved and happy. But the more time you spend with that family, the more you see. Cracks begin to show. In the book, the tone changed. I knew something bad was coming. I could feel it as if it were actually occurring in front of me. And then the facade falls away, and the masks come off.
Despite the heavy topic and the sadness/anger/fear that I felt while reading, this isn't a depressing book. I thought it was refreshing to read someone who didn't sugarcoat the truth or end with a "happily ever after" ending. Because that's not real life. Sometimes people don't ever "get over" their childhoods, or have the ability to rid themselves of all their scars. Sometimes the damage is that serious. But instead of keeping all those memories to himself where they do nothing but add to his burden, Robert Goolrick chose to share his life with the world. And he did it in hope that it would help another person. I applaud his bravery and I highly recommend this book.
August 15, 2011
I read Robert Goolrick's book, A Reliable Wife, before I read this one. I wish I had read this memoir first. I found Reliable Wife to be a somewhat disturbing story and I wasn't sure why. Now that I've read The End of the World As We Know It, I think I have a little insight. This book was very difficult to read. It is the story of Mr. Goolrick's life growing up in the South (Virginia) and his life dealing with alcoholic parents and sexual abuse he suffered at the hands of his father when he was a very young boy. Consequently, as a result of his circumstances(as a grown man), he dealt with his own alcoholism, depression and time spent in a psychiatric hospital because he could not stop cutting himself to get relief from his pain.This story was heart wrenching and although it was very difficult to read, I felt great compassion for Mr. Goolrick and I finished the book hoping that the process of writing his story would somehow allow him to have some peace in his life so that he might heal and feel whole. His very painful story is a reminder to all who read it just how child sexual abuse can destroy a person and keep them from developing normal, healthy and loving adult relationships. It changes a child forever.
August 8, 2007
Perhaps the people who wrote reviews for the back cover of this book read something completely different than what I checked out from the library, but who knows? The first third of the book was wonderful (perhaps this is all you have to read to write a back cover review) and Mr. Goolrick really set the backdrop for telling his life as he remembers growing up in Virginia in another era. I was actually estatic for thinking that perhaps I picked a "sleeper" of a book, but then all of a sudden things changed. There was no transition between chapters and then by the end of the book it was mostly his tortured rambling about how pathetic his life was, is and just might continue to be. Don't get me wrong, not every life has to be bunnies and roses, but something coherent here would be nice to end the story on. The further you get into his story the worse the presentation got.
He says he is telling his story so bad things don't happen to other kids like they happened to him, as well as to tell family and friends that he has been living a lie all these years. I suppose if there's something that private that I need to tell my family and close friends...I'd suggest calling a meeting, not writing a book. Great start, but really incoherent, rambling, disconnected ending.
He says he is telling his story so bad things don't happen to other kids like they happened to him, as well as to tell family and friends that he has been living a lie all these years. I suppose if there's something that private that I need to tell my family and close friends...I'd suggest calling a meeting, not writing a book. Great start, but really incoherent, rambling, disconnected ending.
July 28, 2011
I can't say that I loved this book. It is much too raw, much too explicit, much too painful to love it. But Goolrick's writing is amazing, and you want to think it's a novel, something that couldn't have possibly happened to someone, yet you remember it's his own memoirs, and your heart breaks all over again for him, for his stolen childhood, for his parents' cruelty, for his failed relationships, for the way he found cutting as a way of release and relief. It is mind-boggling to know that in the midst of his cutting period, he would slice his arm open yet again, then visit his friend in the hospital with blood dripping from his fingertips, and no one noticed. NO ONE NOTICED. How can this be? How could Goolrick have screamed silently for help throughout much of his life, and NO ONE HEARD HIM?
And yet it happened. And yet it happens every day, to so many people. So many stories of cruelty and abuse and negligence and just plain neglect. It happens every day.
I can see how people who knew his parents would be angry at him for publishing this after their deaths. But I think Goolrick carefully reveals his parents' weaknesses without condemning them too harshly. He even says near the end that his father wasn't a monster, that he had failed even at that. He chalks up the theft of his childhood to his father having had too much to drink that night, unintentionally. Though it scarred him forever, Goolrick is careful to say that his father didn't mean it.
This is a difficult book to read. There's a lot of pain, several suicide attempts, a lot of heartache. But he ends it with hope that by telling his story, he might be able to save at least one little child from the same pattern of abuse he experienced.
One passage in particular struck me, and it rings so true that I must quote it here: "If you don't receive love from the ones who are meant to love you, you will never stop looking for it, like an amputee who never stops missing his leg, like the ex-smoker who wants a cigarette after lunch fifteen years later. It sounds trite. It's true." And it is.
And yet it happened. And yet it happens every day, to so many people. So many stories of cruelty and abuse and negligence and just plain neglect. It happens every day.
I can see how people who knew his parents would be angry at him for publishing this after their deaths. But I think Goolrick carefully reveals his parents' weaknesses without condemning them too harshly. He even says near the end that his father wasn't a monster, that he had failed even at that. He chalks up the theft of his childhood to his father having had too much to drink that night, unintentionally. Though it scarred him forever, Goolrick is careful to say that his father didn't mean it.
This is a difficult book to read. There's a lot of pain, several suicide attempts, a lot of heartache. But he ends it with hope that by telling his story, he might be able to save at least one little child from the same pattern of abuse he experienced.
One passage in particular struck me, and it rings so true that I must quote it here: "If you don't receive love from the ones who are meant to love you, you will never stop looking for it, like an amputee who never stops missing his leg, like the ex-smoker who wants a cigarette after lunch fifteen years later. It sounds trite. It's true." And it is.
May 19, 2020
If you ever saw a moment of tenderness between a parent and a child, and longed for that tenderness to be given to you but you knew you would never feel it, or if you ever tried as you might to pretend that everything was alright in the world you grew up in but knew it wasn't and never would be.
If you longed for love you never thought you would recieve or deserved. If you saw a fleeting look of love and your heart was filled with desire so strong you thought you could almost grasp it.
If you saw moments and cherished them forever in your heart when a normal person would automatically take it for granted and never think of it again, yet you feed of the memory every day for a life time like a starving person.
Welcome, you are not alone for only survivors can see what others take for granted in everyday life and cherish it and long for it a lifetime.
Robert Goolrick gives these people a voice through his story and for that I love him..
If you longed for love you never thought you would recieve or deserved. If you saw a fleeting look of love and your heart was filled with desire so strong you thought you could almost grasp it.
If you saw moments and cherished them forever in your heart when a normal person would automatically take it for granted and never think of it again, yet you feed of the memory every day for a life time like a starving person.
Welcome, you are not alone for only survivors can see what others take for granted in everyday life and cherish it and long for it a lifetime.
Robert Goolrick gives these people a voice through his story and for that I love him..
March 13, 2010
I'm only giving this book 3 stars only because any normal person couldn't say "I loved it" because everything about it is so awful. Not the writing, I mean, but all of the events in the memoir. Goolrick's memories are so raw, fresh, and gritty, the reader can actually feel the pain. That is what I really loved about the book. In other memoirs that I have read, I thought, oh OK that happened, and that sucks, but I never actually had gut wrenching pain from it. If you want to truly know what it feels like to be a cutter, read this book. If you truly need to know what it feels like to be neglected, lonely, and abused, again read this book. I feel so badly for Goolrick as a person, because after reading this book, I know that he will die still feeling like all of these events just happened to him yesterday. I'm sorry that none of his numerous medications, time in therapy, and all other ways he tried to deal with the pain never have helped him.
If you can't handle horrifying memories of a tattered life, do not attempt to read this book.
If you can't handle horrifying memories of a tattered life, do not attempt to read this book.
May 4, 2011
some members of my book club complained that this book was not "well-written." i agree The End of the World As We Know It didn't follow traditional literary method, BUT i don't think writing "great literature" was his intent. (if you read his novel, A Reliable Wife, you'd see that Robert Goolrick is indeed a masterful storyteller.) both of these books have rec'd high praise from many sources including NYT and NPR.
THIS book is a memoir, a history and a recounting of an intensely deep personal 50 + year struggle. it's meant to be conversational in tone, and i think, written like one's memory...disjointed in terms of content and timeline, winding its way up and down and around, inexorably to its painful conclusion. as he reflects, he's trying to connect events and emotions, and we are wondering throughout WHAT happened to him (although we read with a dreadful sense of foreboding.) when it is revealed , it is heart-stoppingly BRUTAL.
terribly painful and damaging events (RG notes that psychologists call it "soul murder") happen to innocent children everyday. it IS difficult to read (at the end i was crying, with tears literally streaming down my face) but if they're kept hidden, there's no chance for healing, and less chance for prevention.
interestingly, much of the book is factual, with little emotion, and not self-pitying, even darkly humorous a few times ("when i was in the loony bin...") but if you read the book to the end, he finally shares the shattering event and results of the thing done to him. and he lists (for several pages) the reasons he wrote this book ...among them, to try to prevent what happened to him from happening to others, to explain to his family/friends the reason for his moods/actions/alcholism, and maybe, for a catharsis of some sort.
his words cut through you and make you catch your breath - "when you don't receive love from the people who are meant to give it to you, you spend your whole life searching for it." i read the last few pages a half dozen times, slower every time, reflecting on each point. one of them: "I tell it because there is an ache in my heart for an imagined beauty of a life i haven't had, from which i have been locked out, and it never goes away." (read that several times, slowly, and see how you feel....)
i imagine the reader concludes this book with an ache in his or her heart for the author, and for all the children/adults who suffer as he does.
harrowing, heartbreaking. hopefully the telling of his story will give RG a little bit of peace and maybe, maybe stop it from happening to someone else.
THIS book is a memoir, a history and a recounting of an intensely deep personal 50 + year struggle. it's meant to be conversational in tone, and i think, written like one's memory...disjointed in terms of content and timeline, winding its way up and down and around, inexorably to its painful conclusion. as he reflects, he's trying to connect events and emotions, and we are wondering throughout WHAT happened to him (although we read with a dreadful sense of foreboding.) when it is revealed , it is heart-stoppingly BRUTAL.
terribly painful and damaging events (RG notes that psychologists call it "soul murder") happen to innocent children everyday. it IS difficult to read (at the end i was crying, with tears literally streaming down my face) but if they're kept hidden, there's no chance for healing, and less chance for prevention.
interestingly, much of the book is factual, with little emotion, and not self-pitying, even darkly humorous a few times ("when i was in the loony bin...") but if you read the book to the end, he finally shares the shattering event and results of the thing done to him. and he lists (for several pages) the reasons he wrote this book ...among them, to try to prevent what happened to him from happening to others, to explain to his family/friends the reason for his moods/actions/alcholism, and maybe, for a catharsis of some sort.
his words cut through you and make you catch your breath - "when you don't receive love from the people who are meant to give it to you, you spend your whole life searching for it." i read the last few pages a half dozen times, slower every time, reflecting on each point. one of them: "I tell it because there is an ache in my heart for an imagined beauty of a life i haven't had, from which i have been locked out, and it never goes away." (read that several times, slowly, and see how you feel....)
i imagine the reader concludes this book with an ache in his or her heart for the author, and for all the children/adults who suffer as he does.
harrowing, heartbreaking. hopefully the telling of his story will give RG a little bit of peace and maybe, maybe stop it from happening to someone else.
August 6, 2012
I recently listened to an interview with Robert Goolrick on a Twin Cities radio show and it's obvious he is a sensitive, intelligent and elegant man. He was promoting his latest book and mentioned how this memoir was published. His story reads like a dream in parts and clearly a nightmare in others; it's a testament to exceptionally delusional parenting on one hand. I'm always in utter disbelief the way people come to parent. It's not okay to rob your children of devotion, love, attention and protection regardless of what history is in place. Goolrick appears to have endured a childhood where no one really talked and especially not about the taboo subjects. It was a time when image trumped truth and many of the people surrounding Robert were at best uncomfortable in their own skin. It's also a testament to how strong the human spirit really is when confronted by unimaginable acts of abuse.
This story touched my heart in ways I can't fully explain as it's very difficult to read. It also made me realize how important it is for each of us to demonstrate the highest form of humility possible.
This story touched my heart in ways I can't fully explain as it's very difficult to read. It also made me realize how important it is for each of us to demonstrate the highest form of humility possible.
August 2, 2010
Unlike many of the readers of this book here, the first third of the book didn't really do much for me. I've read tales of alcoholic parents before and didn't want to read a full book of more of the same. But just about the time I was about to put the book down for good the tone and intimacy of the tale shifted. That's not to say that it got easier to read, because that's definitely not the case, but Goolrick began to draw me closer to the reality of a life torn to bits by the things he experienced as a boy. By the end of the book it was impossible for me to look at the small boy on the front cover without tears springing to my eyes and my heart breaking for all children damaged by those who should love them.
This book is definitely not for those with a delicate constitution, but an honest, well written memoir. I hope and pray it reaches the audience it is meant for.
This book is definitely not for those with a delicate constitution, but an honest, well written memoir. I hope and pray it reaches the audience it is meant for.
June 19, 2009
Perhaps the best description of what depression feels like that I have ever read...
"There is so much that happens to the human heart that is in the realm of the unthinkable, the unknowable, the unbearable. How most people carry on is a mystery. What they talk about at supper. How they can stand to sit in front of a TV from eight until Leno every night. How they can think bowling is fun. How they choose their neckties. How they bear the weight of everyday life without screaming...How life goes in bad directions when your heart is asleep. "
"There is so much that happens to the human heart that is in the realm of the unthinkable, the unknowable, the unbearable. How most people carry on is a mystery. What they talk about at supper. How they can stand to sit in front of a TV from eight until Leno every night. How they can think bowling is fun. How they choose their neckties. How they bear the weight of everyday life without screaming...How life goes in bad directions when your heart is asleep. "
October 30, 2012
I'm craaaaazy in love with this author and this was the hardest thing I've ever had to read. By page 36, I was openly weeping and I can't even verbalize the fear in my heart I have now for humanity. Yeah. That book hurt. Don't read it.
August 9, 2023
Robert Goolrick's memoir "THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT" reads as much as a confessional as it does a way for him to understand himself, his family, and the influence -- both good and ill -- his parents exerted on him throughout his life. Goolrich grew up in Virginia during the 1950s and 1960s. His parents came from a genteel, privileged background in the South, which gave them both a sense of exaggerated self-importance. On the surface, they seemed to fit the image of a successful couple who never put a foot wrong in polite society. Goolrick's father was a professor at a small college and his mother, a frustrated housewife who nevertheless tried to have a fulfilled life for herself. Sadly, both had their own personal issues which led them to alcoholism and a slow, steady decline in body and spirit. So much so, that by the time of their deaths, both of Goolrick's parents were to be pitied.
Goolrick has an engaging writing style that quickly draws the reader into his life. One particular incident in the memoir I found rather funny was when, as a 12-year old, he was walking through the woods to the store to buy an item had long desired for himself (his mother had credit accounts in various stores where Goolrick's family lived and rather than give her son money, she insisted that he have the store owner place on credit the item he bought). Suddenly he was set upon by a group of neighborhood bullies, who proceeded to harass him.
“I was twelve years old. I was four-foot-eleven and I chose that exact moment to behave like an a—ho-e toward a fat juvenile delinquent with a switchblade in his hand.
“The minute I said it, I knew it was the wrong thing to say. It was worse than saying “Suck my d---,” because at least only tough guys said something like that, whereas … wimps said, “I seriously doubt it.”
“The switchblade moved up until it was just under the lobe of my ear. I could feel how sharp it was. George Hazelwood’s hand was steady as a rock and the other boys’ eyes gleamed with bloodlust and impatience. George was standing so close to me I could smell the wood smoke in his pathetically worn shirt.
“Then we heard it. We heard singing. We heard a group of girls singing ‘Over hill, over dale,’ and then a flag appeared on the crest of the hill behind us, blowing and snapping in the breeze, and it was carried by Kathleen McKenna, who marched resolutely over the hill in full Girl Scout regalia, leading a troop of other Girl Scouts who marched double file singing, ‘Over hill, over dale, ‘ Girl Scouts who wore not only their full uniforms, berets and everything, but also sashes with all their medals for making slipknots and starting fires with two sticks of wood and whatnot. They were so young and healthy and white.
“Kathleen saw me and waved, although she did not veer from her chosen course. In fact, all the girls waved in their Hitler youth fervor, and when I looked up again, George Hazelwood and his troop of boys had vanished. They just weren’t there anymore and my ear was still on my head. I had been improbably saved from mutilation by the Girl Scouts of America.”
A very sobering, and at times hilarious and harrowing memoir.
Goolrick has an engaging writing style that quickly draws the reader into his life. One particular incident in the memoir I found rather funny was when, as a 12-year old, he was walking through the woods to the store to buy an item had long desired for himself (his mother had credit accounts in various stores where Goolrick's family lived and rather than give her son money, she insisted that he have the store owner place on credit the item he bought). Suddenly he was set upon by a group of neighborhood bullies, who proceeded to harass him.
“I was twelve years old. I was four-foot-eleven and I chose that exact moment to behave like an a—ho-e toward a fat juvenile delinquent with a switchblade in his hand.
“The minute I said it, I knew it was the wrong thing to say. It was worse than saying “Suck my d---,” because at least only tough guys said something like that, whereas … wimps said, “I seriously doubt it.”
“The switchblade moved up until it was just under the lobe of my ear. I could feel how sharp it was. George Hazelwood’s hand was steady as a rock and the other boys’ eyes gleamed with bloodlust and impatience. George was standing so close to me I could smell the wood smoke in his pathetically worn shirt.
“Then we heard it. We heard singing. We heard a group of girls singing ‘Over hill, over dale,’ and then a flag appeared on the crest of the hill behind us, blowing and snapping in the breeze, and it was carried by Kathleen McKenna, who marched resolutely over the hill in full Girl Scout regalia, leading a troop of other Girl Scouts who marched double file singing, ‘Over hill, over dale, ‘ Girl Scouts who wore not only their full uniforms, berets and everything, but also sashes with all their medals for making slipknots and starting fires with two sticks of wood and whatnot. They were so young and healthy and white.
“Kathleen saw me and waved, although she did not veer from her chosen course. In fact, all the girls waved in their Hitler youth fervor, and when I looked up again, George Hazelwood and his troop of boys had vanished. They just weren’t there anymore and my ear was still on my head. I had been improbably saved from mutilation by the Girl Scouts of America.”
A very sobering, and at times hilarious and harrowing memoir.
February 6, 2011
[Please note there are spoilers]
Very sad! I'll admit that it was difficult getting through the beginning because of the amount of detail and because I'm not used to the style in which he writes. At the same time, his style is what makes this special and allows it to feel real. It is important to get through the beginning because it is Robert's unique way of sharing his story. He shares many random memories that lead us to some of the most painful parts and allows us to see how these memories came to him as he wrote the story.
It is a very painful story that had me in tears, wanting to put it down during the hardest parts but at the same time not being able to put it down as I could envision the innocent 4 year old who needed someone there to hear him and not ignore him. The most painful chapters are the ones where he talks about his father's abuse (not his real father)and his shattered life. How do people who do this to children go on? How can a child be put through such a horrible thing by the person who is supposed to guide him in life and how can the person who is there to comfort him (his mother) continue on knowing this happened?
Reading this book really has upset me but I am glad someone talks about it and I hope many can heal after reading honest accounts like these.
Very sad! I'll admit that it was difficult getting through the beginning because of the amount of detail and because I'm not used to the style in which he writes. At the same time, his style is what makes this special and allows it to feel real. It is important to get through the beginning because it is Robert's unique way of sharing his story. He shares many random memories that lead us to some of the most painful parts and allows us to see how these memories came to him as he wrote the story.
It is a very painful story that had me in tears, wanting to put it down during the hardest parts but at the same time not being able to put it down as I could envision the innocent 4 year old who needed someone there to hear him and not ignore him. The most painful chapters are the ones where he talks about his father's abuse (not his real father)and his shattered life. How do people who do this to children go on? How can a child be put through such a horrible thing by the person who is supposed to guide him in life and how can the person who is there to comfort him (his mother) continue on knowing this happened?
Reading this book really has upset me but I am glad someone talks about it and I hope many can heal after reading honest accounts like these.
February 23, 2013
I started reading this because someone gave it to me in a bag of books. It wasn't very interesting, it wasn't engrossing, it was just the only book in the house left to read. I was so not into it that I wasn't really paying attention to the foreshadowing and walked headlong into the scene of child rape in the last third of the book. I almost threw up when I read the bombshell sentence, I was so startled and horrified. I speed-read the rest if the chapter, skimming because I couldn't stomach it. It was horrible.
I have to ask, after reading Maya Angelou, Dorothy Allison, Mary Karr, etc.: Are there any southern memoirists who weren't raped as children? Every time I pick up a memoir by a southerner or a novel set in the 20th century American south, I read with a cringing anticipation, knowing some kind of sexual assault of a minor is going to happen before the book's end. I'm glad for any kind of healing this gives the writers and victims of sexual assault, but I think the literary south is somewhere I need to steer clear of.
I have to ask, after reading Maya Angelou, Dorothy Allison, Mary Karr, etc.: Are there any southern memoirists who weren't raped as children? Every time I pick up a memoir by a southerner or a novel set in the 20th century American south, I read with a cringing anticipation, knowing some kind of sexual assault of a minor is going to happen before the book's end. I'm glad for any kind of healing this gives the writers and victims of sexual assault, but I think the literary south is somewhere I need to steer clear of.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 30, 2009
I had a really difficult time coming up with an accurate review for this memoir. As far as memoirs go, this one struck me as simply mediocre for several reasons. One of my primary issues with the book was the way it was arranged. The stories were scattered and all over the place and there was no real chronological order. Though I am sympathetic with the author and his plight, I was left reading his memoir with more questions than answers. I really wish the novel had been arranged differently and that the individuals in his novel were more thoroughly explored. Though the situations in the memoir were devastating, his stories could have been better executed and that small change would have made the book a powerful read. There are so many memoirs out there that are very similar to this one, but The End of the World as We Know It fell short of my expectations and did not reel me in as some of the better ones have done.
July 8, 2010
Goolrick’s memoir reads more like a collection of essays rather than a chronological account of his life featuring mostly reflections from his youth.
His parents were products of their time when men were the sole breadwinners and women stayed home and took care of the house and children. Both of his parents were alcoholics but successfully kept up proper societal appearances.
The material in this book is not for the weak of heart. Goolrick’s life was tragic and the suffering and anguish raw, even gut-wrenching at times. Goolrick’s book is well written and the book kept me thoroughly engaged as he peeled away each layer of his life until he reached the deep, dark core. If I had to summarize the story of this man’s life I’d use his words: “If you don’t receive love from the ones who are meant to love you, you will never stop looking for it.”
His parents were products of their time when men were the sole breadwinners and women stayed home and took care of the house and children. Both of his parents were alcoholics but successfully kept up proper societal appearances.
The material in this book is not for the weak of heart. Goolrick’s life was tragic and the suffering and anguish raw, even gut-wrenching at times. Goolrick’s book is well written and the book kept me thoroughly engaged as he peeled away each layer of his life until he reached the deep, dark core. If I had to summarize the story of this man’s life I’d use his words: “If you don’t receive love from the ones who are meant to love you, you will never stop looking for it.”
May 16, 2014
aaaarrgh Why do the best reads have to be so ugly? I wanted to put this story down, especially when I sensed where it was heading, but I couldn't. Not until the bitter end. Trust me. You'll feel this deep in your soul if you can manage to stay with it.
March 2, 2022
Dans ce récit du "monde tel qu'on la connu" (selon le titre original), de façon incisive et drôle, on glisse de velours dans la vie de famille du petit Robbie, de son frère, de sa sœur, des parents, grands-parents et autres personnages plus ou moins excentriques. Et vivent les années '50 américaines,-version Sud!
Et puis, une tristesse profonde s'installe dans l'histoire, sans qu'on en comprenne bien la raison ou la logique de son origine (malgré de sérieuses difficultés de vie qui mettrait plus d' une personne à plat).
Et plus loin encore, on ne lâche pas les mots des yeux ; car, oui, Robert Goolrick est un écrivain, et peut écrire. J'entends : regarder la douleur en face, et, à défaut de l'anéantir, la coucher à plat sur le papier, sans fioritures, ni exhibition, juste avec des mots.
Et puis, le livre n'est toujours pas fini, et l'auteur est toujours en vie. En quelque sorte, une fin telle une apothéose.
Et puis, une tristesse profonde s'installe dans l'histoire, sans qu'on en comprenne bien la raison ou la logique de son origine (malgré de sérieuses difficultés de vie qui mettrait plus d' une personne à plat).
Et plus loin encore, on ne lâche pas les mots des yeux ; car, oui, Robert Goolrick est un écrivain, et peut écrire. J'entends : regarder la douleur en face, et, à défaut de l'anéantir, la coucher à plat sur le papier, sans fioritures, ni exhibition, juste avec des mots.
Et puis, le livre n'est toujours pas fini, et l'auteur est toujours en vie. En quelque sorte, une fin telle une apothéose.
April 26, 2019
Je sors de cette lecture bouleversante. Le thème traité est incroyablement dur, surtout quand on sait qu'il s'agit d'une autobiographie. Âmes sensibles s'abstenir car les scènes "hard" sont détaillées et donnent des hauts-le-coeur.
August 6, 2022
This book isn’t for me. I like sad books, but this got to be too much. The timeline isn’t coherent. A major dilemma is brought up 3/4 of the way through. The writing is quite scattered.
October 17, 2023
4 stars for the courage to write it
February 1, 2024
HUGE trigger warnings. Did not enjoy.
May 17, 2010
After reading the novel "A Reliable Wife," I wanted to go back and read Goolrick's memoir, which was published first (but written second). I found it fascinating that he started publishing so late in life, so I wanted to see what he was about. I wasn't crazy for the title of the memoir, though, mostly because it reminded me of the old R.E.M. song and I couldn't get the tune out of my head.
I enjoyed reading many of the recollections of Goolrick's past. I was intrigued by his descriptions of his parents and their nightly cocktails and parties, as if they were characters on the TV series "Mad Men." And, naturally, I was disturbed and saddened at the parts where he talks about abuse, neglect, and how that affected him into his adulthood.
I wasn't crazy for the assemblage of the book. The memoir jumps around in time with the start of each chapter and even within the chapters themselves. Like different memories or objects spark feelings and memories within each us, we follow Goolrick's jumping thoughts throughout the book. It's not that it was difficult to follow, but I think putting the earliest (and most horrifying) events first would have drawn me into the memoir more. Up until that point, I struggled to continue and didn't feel like the memoir was leading anywhere. Everything leading up to the final chapters of the book felt almost randomly included. After reading the final chapters, you realize why the other chapters and thoughts were included, but it feels a bit too late. In this instance, I would have put forth a more chronological sequence of events. The writer (and book editors) know why certain memories were included, where the story is going, and is emotionally invested, but the reader doesn't have these clues or emotional investment.
All in all, it was an interesting read once you get past several chapters, and I found Goolrick's insight and conclusions in the final chapters very moving and powerful. (I'm also intrigued by how to make butter using only cream and mason jars.) However, like I previously noted, I would have preferred a different order to the book to make me appreciate it more as a whole.
I enjoyed reading many of the recollections of Goolrick's past. I was intrigued by his descriptions of his parents and their nightly cocktails and parties, as if they were characters on the TV series "Mad Men." And, naturally, I was disturbed and saddened at the parts where he talks about abuse, neglect, and how that affected him into his adulthood.
I wasn't crazy for the assemblage of the book. The memoir jumps around in time with the start of each chapter and even within the chapters themselves. Like different memories or objects spark feelings and memories within each us, we follow Goolrick's jumping thoughts throughout the book. It's not that it was difficult to follow, but I think putting the earliest (and most horrifying) events first would have drawn me into the memoir more. Up until that point, I struggled to continue and didn't feel like the memoir was leading anywhere. Everything leading up to the final chapters of the book felt almost randomly included. After reading the final chapters, you realize why the other chapters and thoughts were included, but it feels a bit too late. In this instance, I would have put forth a more chronological sequence of events. The writer (and book editors) know why certain memories were included, where the story is going, and is emotionally invested, but the reader doesn't have these clues or emotional investment.
All in all, it was an interesting read once you get past several chapters, and I found Goolrick's insight and conclusions in the final chapters very moving and powerful. (I'm also intrigued by how to make butter using only cream and mason jars.) However, like I previously noted, I would have preferred a different order to the book to make me appreciate it more as a whole.
June 21, 2012
It was the 1950's, a time of calm, a time when all things were new and everything seemed possible. A few years before, a noble war had been won, and now life had returned to normal.
For one little boy, however, life had become anything but "normal."
To all appearances, he and his family lived an almost idyllic life. the father was a respected professor, the mother a witty and elegant lady, someone everyone loved. They were parents to three bright, smiling children:two boys, and a girl. To all appearances, their life seemed ideal. But it was, in fact, all appearances
RATE 5/5 There is a passage in this book that was "if you don't receive love from the ones who meant to love you, you will never stop looking for it, like an amputee who never stops missing his leg, like the ex-smoker who wants a cigarette after lunch fifteen years later. It sounds trite. It's true."
This is a story about being raised in an extremely dysfunctional home with the author permanently scarred emotionally by his parent's pretense. It is so sad and written with the author opening his painful wounds in hopes of helping any other young man living in a similar situation. I am so happy that Robert was able to exorcise his demons and write beautiful literature. I read his book "A Reliable Wife" and could not put it down and anxiously awaited his latest book and loved that even more. I then began to wonder how he could write such darkness and passion in such a lyrical way. Then I discovered this book and realized it was his first written before "A Reliable Wife". The life he led was indeed tragic and painful and the wounds are forever. I am only glad that chooses to write to deal with the fallout and anxiously await his next novel...
For one little boy, however, life had become anything but "normal."
To all appearances, he and his family lived an almost idyllic life. the father was a respected professor, the mother a witty and elegant lady, someone everyone loved. They were parents to three bright, smiling children:two boys, and a girl. To all appearances, their life seemed ideal. But it was, in fact, all appearances
RATE 5/5 There is a passage in this book that was "if you don't receive love from the ones who meant to love you, you will never stop looking for it, like an amputee who never stops missing his leg, like the ex-smoker who wants a cigarette after lunch fifteen years later. It sounds trite. It's true."
This is a story about being raised in an extremely dysfunctional home with the author permanently scarred emotionally by his parent's pretense. It is so sad and written with the author opening his painful wounds in hopes of helping any other young man living in a similar situation. I am so happy that Robert was able to exorcise his demons and write beautiful literature. I read his book "A Reliable Wife" and could not put it down and anxiously awaited his latest book and loved that even more. I then began to wonder how he could write such darkness and passion in such a lyrical way. Then I discovered this book and realized it was his first written before "A Reliable Wife". The life he led was indeed tragic and painful and the wounds are forever. I am only glad that chooses to write to deal with the fallout and anxiously await his next novel...
July 9, 2023
I bought this book by accident, for 1€ from a book shop trying to get rid of all old unsold books and thought it’s a nice and pleasant story to read during holidays. I discovered with huge sadness the tragical story of this person, one of the most horrible and frightening experience I have ever been made aware of. As for the style, it’s the first book of this very talented and eventually successful writer, so it looks like he was fine tuning his style and experimenting some ideas, which at the end turn out to be very good experience as the reader gets the whole weight of his personal tragedy. Total admiration for the courage and power of the message from the last chapter, where he hardly tries to save at least one child of what he had to experience during his own life. The least I can say is that I am totally astonished by this memoir.
February 25, 2010
Who doesn't love a memoir that conjures up scenes that could be plucked straight from our own youth? Goolrick is about 13 years older than I am, yet I remember so many things he describes in full sensory detail, from my own growing up years. There is some amount of comfort in knowing there are others that remember some of the same things we do: mother ironing, life without television (not because it hadn't been invented yet), picnics where the kids played and the adults did adult things, like drink and laugh. And wasn't every child of the 50s and 60s instructed not to air the family's dirty laundry?
But there is one memory Goolrick remembers in painful detail. I do not share a similar memory; for that I am astoundingly grateful. It comes in the last third of the book, and at which point, the answers to so many of the questions begin to be answered. Confusion clears and and is replace by revulsion, anger, and pity.
The overarching theme of family, dysfunctional in its function, and the very fact that parents are the first ones we fall in love with, gives a voice to those who, as adults, can make a decision as to who is family, and who is not. Sometimes, no matter how painful, it's best to put an end to that requisite love, and choose who is healthy in our lives and who is not.
But there is one memory Goolrick remembers in painful detail. I do not share a similar memory; for that I am astoundingly grateful. It comes in the last third of the book, and at which point, the answers to so many of the questions begin to be answered. Confusion clears and and is replace by revulsion, anger, and pity.
The overarching theme of family, dysfunctional in its function, and the very fact that parents are the first ones we fall in love with, gives a voice to those who, as adults, can make a decision as to who is family, and who is not. Sometimes, no matter how painful, it's best to put an end to that requisite love, and choose who is healthy in our lives and who is not.
January 30, 2024
The last fifty pages of this books are really the only ones worth reading. Some chapters are actual narration. Other chapters are comma-spliced stream-of-consciousness with single sentences going on for literally four to six pages. The one advantage to those chapters is they are a sure cure for insomnia. I can't remember how many times I struggled to finish one of those chapters but absolutely could not because sleep overtook me.
Robert Goolrick has a story worth telling. However, the multitude of psychiatric drugs he lists in the last chapter seem to have scrambled his brains. I feel extremely sorry for his early childhood trauma (which is not revealed until those last fifty pages I mentioned). Reading the first 150 pages of the book without knowing what happened to him, the reader can only wonder why Goolrick claims his parents hate him.
For the author's sake, for all he has suffered, I would like to give this book a good review. I would like to give it more stars. But I cannot in good conscience do so. There is a heartbreaking story hidden in The End of the World as We Know It: Scenes from a Life, but this book does not do it justice.
Robert Goolrick has a story worth telling. However, the multitude of psychiatric drugs he lists in the last chapter seem to have scrambled his brains. I feel extremely sorry for his early childhood trauma (which is not revealed until those last fifty pages I mentioned). Reading the first 150 pages of the book without knowing what happened to him, the reader can only wonder why Goolrick claims his parents hate him.
For the author's sake, for all he has suffered, I would like to give this book a good review. I would like to give it more stars. But I cannot in good conscience do so. There is a heartbreaking story hidden in The End of the World as We Know It: Scenes from a Life, but this book does not do it justice.
September 13, 2012
I read this book several years ago and recently took it off the shelf to read again. It was a worthwhile experience the second time through. Mr. Goolrick writes about a small southern college town in which drinking and throwing dinner parties and maintaining an elegant facade are the principle pleasures. Surely any number of writers explore similar material, starting perhaps with John Cheever if not William Faulkner. What makes Goolrick stand out for me is how often his prose rises to the level of poetry, and how that poetry carries the story. Of course, the dark secret central to the book and this event's impact on the author lend the book a dreadful power that certainly swept me up a second time. During this second reading I appreciated the author's honest soul searching as he navigates this dark terrain and traces its negative grip on his life. Not many writers could finesse their way through such material and still respond with affection and love and even humor to the players in his drama. I'm looking forward to reading Goolrick's new novel.
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July 18, 2008An incredibly poignant memoir of the author, Robert Goolrick. The victim of sexual abuse (which is not revealed until the latter part of the book,)Mr. Goolrick describes his own self-destructive behavior and self-loathing with heartbreaking honesty....even while imparting a dark sense of humor.
A story of the havoc that abuse--and the refusal to acknowledge that abuse/havoc by those you love the most--wreaks on its victims; this is a must read for anyone who has endured abuse; be it physical, psychological or sexual.
A story of the havoc that abuse--and the refusal to acknowledge that abuse/havoc by those you love the most--wreaks on its victims; this is a must read for anyone who has endured abuse; be it physical, psychological or sexual.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
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