Sorry for Your Loss

by Michael Cruz Kayne

On the 10th anniversary of a profound loss, comedian Michael Cruz Kayne felt compelled to describe his feelings of grief in 140 characters or less. Much to his surprise, more than 200,000 people responded in solidarity from all corners of the globe. Overwhelmed by the response, the Late Show with Stephen Colbert writer and host of A Good Cry created Sorry for Your Loss, a sidesplitting, heartrending look at life—and death. This powerfully personal production, recorded live from the Minetta Lane Theatre, cuts through the platitudes, directly reaching out to anyone who has ever experienced loss—or will. So...everyone.

Now available in Dolby Atmos on Audible.

Genres: Audiobook, Nonfiction, Memoir, Humor, Comedy, Grief, Short Stories

4 pages, Audible Audio

Published September 21, 2023

Reviews

[Danielle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Grief meets comedy in this standup style skit. 🤔

[Liz · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is really more a show than a book. Kayne tackles the subject of loss and grief, a subject he is intimately familiar with. He and his wife lost one of their twins at 34 days. Now, ten years later, he looks back on that loss.
There is a nice mix of the serious and humor here.
Just a little over an hour long.

[Vanessa Ya Lopez · Rating 4 out of 5]

A Beautiful tribute to Fisher.

“You think things are one way but they can also be another way.”

[Aaron Esthelm · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such an emotional work. Michael blends comedy and Sadness together in this story of loss and how we deal with it, how he's delt with it. It's hard to hear but told so well you'll be laughing one moment and silently in thought the next. Thinking about the realities of life and death and then laughing about the absurdity of the world we live in.

Truly fantastic give it a go.

[Matt Mutarelli · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one I will never forget…

[Amanda Esthelm · Rating 5 out of 5]

This broke my heart. There were times where I had to pause it just to breathe in what was being said and try to stop from crying. What a profound piece of art this was. Humor is a brilliant way to cope with grief and this used humor to make grief tolerable, and to welcome grief into the conversation. I loved this so much

[Stephanie · Rating 3 out of 5]

My dad passed away 6 weeks ago. I found this performance on grief to be helpful for processing it. I like what Michael Cruz Kayne had to say about how you think things will be one way, but they can also be another way. And that is definitely true with what my expectations were.

I also thought he had a good point with how death and grief used to be more of normal part of life before modern science. Which is why my expectations about my dad's cancer was different from the outcome.

But the best part was about how Michael wants to talk about his son to keep his legacy alive and I talk about my dad with my mom and sister everyday.

I gave it 3 stars because it was supposed to be a comedy but not all the jokes made me laugh. Some parts I just didn't find funny. I did get a good laugh at the Halloween Trick or Treating with Mr.T and Gandalf story.

[Lauren Ohdee · Rating 5 out of 5]

“I’m here because of him, and you’re all here because of him, so who are we to say that he’s not alive?”

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

Grief is something that touches every person in the world, but we don't talk about it. In this stand up special, Michael Cruz Kayne explores grief in a funny, relatable way. He isn't afraid to go to a place that is sad and hard, but he also is able to acknowledge the absurdity of the situation. This show is based on his tweet from a few years ago and it really makes the book even more impactful. I lost my dad recently and this show made me feel less alone. For that I give it 5 stars.

Here's the full tweet:

this isn't really what twitter is for, but ten years ago today my son died and I basically never talk about it with anyone other than my wife. it's taken me ten years to realize that I want to talk about it all the time.
this is about grief
most of the conversations we have about grieving are very very weird. tragedy is still so taboo, even in the era of the overshare. it's all very *sorry for your loss* and tilted heads and cards with calligraphy on them and whispering. we're all on tiptoes all the time.
but grief is not one thing, it is a galaxy of emotions, most of which are put in orbit by the loss of someone you loved, and the harrowing (or not) circumstances surrounding that loss. but we only get to talk about one part publicly: the sadness.
but there is more! some things make me angry: when the hospital prepared us for his death, one of the doctors kept saying "your daughter" repeatedly until I said through gritted teeth "he is a boy".some things make me confused: we cremated our son. how the fuck does that work? like, what are steps one through ten of that process?
some things make me laugh: the funeral home handed us a receipt after our son's funeral that said "thank you come again" at the bottom.our dead son has a twin, who is very much alive. and he's really just great. and that's crazy too, because the better he is, the more i'm like ahhhhh shit I wish his brother were alive.and they both have a sister, who asked us to put an extra candle in her brother's birthday cake, and who led us in writing a story about her dead brother tonight
(and yeah we talk about our dead son with our living kids all the time because idk that's what we decided to do?)anyway.
all of those thoughts, up until recently, have basically been kept to conversations with my (amazing) wife and (fine) family (jk also amazing). and now I want to share them. and I bet you have a friend with a sad story also wants to share the not sad parts.my dead son has a legacy already, in my wife, who became a pediatric intensive care nurse because of him. can you believe it? being around sick and dying children all day? healing/caring for them? she does that because of my son.and maybe now, a decade later, i'm ready to contribute a tiny bit to his legacy also, with a plea:
*ask your sad friend about the sad thing that you never talked about*grief is isolating, but not just because of the sadness. also because the sadness is the only part about it that anyone knows.not a single person has ever been unkind about my son, but almost no one considers the fullness of his loss and how complicated and weird and everything else it was and continues to be.
having just recently started talking to other grievers, I know many of them feel the same.ask your friend about the sad thing that you never talk about, and be open to the depth of that experience.
one day, and I mean this without grimness or condescension, everyone you know will be dead. it will help us if we talk about it. or anyway it is helping me. if you are grieving, you are not alone.

[Caden · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a wonderful examination of grief, and I appreciate the vulnerability. Also, the fact that the author’s wife went on to become a pediatric ICU nurse *after* the death of their infant son gave me chills. What a devastating loss to go through, and what a powerful way to empathize, love, and serve others going through the same or similar things. ❤️‍🩹

Here are some great lines:

“This world is like that. People are good, and kind, and decent.” 🩵

“You think things are one way, but they can also be another way.” 💡

That last one is simple, but so profound—especially right now. I can’t think of a more needed message!

[Jon Seals · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 stars

This is another live comedy set; this time focusing on grief.

Michael Cruz Kayne is probably a good comedian. (I would watch his next comedy special and enjoy it.)

"Audiobook" wasn't the best format for this piece. Kayne described the photos shown on screen behind him, the set seemed incomplete for listeners.

It's probably a 4-star set with photos. It's a 3-star set without.

[Kathryn Falbo-Woodson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I laughed. I cried. The words struck so many chords — death and loss being an isolated event to the supernatural and scientific beliefs explored about them. Thank you for this piece which changed my spirit today as I grieve the death of my brother and altered family dynamics without him in it.

[Rachel Nicole Wagner · Rating 4 out of 5]

Emotional, funny, sad, and heartwarming. Life in a comedy show including stories of loss, love, and grief.
The human experience.

~xo,
Rach

[Victoria Brown · Rating 4 out of 5]

“You think things are one way but they can also be another way” Beautiful and thought provoking. I laughed out loud and cried. Definitely recommend even if you aren’t currently dealing with grief.

[Debbie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such a moving tribute to Fisher and his impact!

[Sunny · Rating 4 out of 5]

Listened to this one on the way to my uncle’s funeral. I don’t regret it. It’s surprisingly lighthearted, uplifting while be unflinchingly honest.

[Amy · Rating 3 out of 5]

An Audible-only selection. It wasn't quite what I was thinking it'd be. Or his humor isn't my taste. But a serious topic and his love for his son comes through clearly.

[Adrienne · Rating 3 out of 5]

Funny and sad, as advertised.

[Smooballs · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think this was a good exercise/outlet for the comedian to work out some of his own feelings about his own ongoing grief. It felt more like a project for himself. The humor made me smile, but didn’t really make me laugh or want to explore more of his regular material (due to delivery and some political things, not the grief part.)

I did find the story touching and some of the points about how society deals with grief extremely valid. I think it’s extremely unique to combine the subject of grief with stand up comedy. I find it commendable as that’s a fragile and challenging line to walk.

I think it’s hard to rate this book down because the subject matter and the author truly puts his hurt and pain out there and people don’t want to crap on it. There were some good points, but I almost turned it off by 1/3 of the way in because I wasn’t hooked in. I finished it because it wasn’t very long and it kept being recommended to me after dealing with several friends deaths recently. I don’t regret listening to this, but I think 3 stars is about right for me. Good in someways, “Meh” in others, but overall palatable.

[JessQueen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sorry for Your Loss by Micheal Cruz Kayne

After reading two powerful novels I said to myself: Hey, how about laughing a bit? So I went for this one!

Cruz Kayne is an amazing comedian and his show is hilarious up until he starts talking, like you know, really talking about grief.

He talks from his personal experience and that makes his show extremely powerful. I could have never imagined how someone could actually insert the death of a child into a show with so much dignity and respect.

The audience was unbelievable and it is spectacular how he interacts with everybody respectfully and at the same time he never stops joking about it.

If you’re in for something heartfelt yet funny, go for it! I loved it!

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5

Favorite Quote: “These are just pre dead people” God! That was awesome! I’m still laughing!

[Rowdy · Rating 5 out of 5]

As I started listening to this, I thought to myself “I’m enjoying this, but it’s not an audiobook, let alone a book. I’ll probably end up giving it three stars.”

As it progressed there came a point when I thought “I actually really enjoy this, I’ll probably give it four stars. But it’s not an audiobook.”

And by the end, there was no question. It deserves every one of the five stars I gave it. And it’s not a book. But then again… one of the key points is that things can be one way… and also be another. So maybe that was the point the whole time.

This incredibly moving, and yes, funny, one person show deals so much with grief, and as always, I am reminded of my mantra when it comes to remembering those we’ve lost:

“Do you not know that a man is not dead while his name is still spoken?” - Sir Terry Pratchett

[Rae C · Rating 5 out of 5]

Didn't know what to expect when I listened to this. Haha I just wanted something short to listen to while getting ready for the day, but I ended up really enjoying this and by the end found myself thinking about life. Michael brings on the humor but in a bittersweet, informative, inspiring way. He carries a heavy weight with him but uses that sadness to help other people, and I just found something really lovely in that. Being able to laugh, and make others laugh even when carrying around a sadness is a beautiful talent, and Michael did a wonderful job at both entertaining me, humbling me, making me laugh and making me cry. Worth a listen, even if it's just to fill the time as you get ready for the day.

[Krysta Angotti · Rating 5 out of 5]

This. This! I could not stop. It is the perfect mix of dealing with grief and comedy which you don’t think you need but you do. Michael Cruz Kayne is so funny and is able to talk about some very traumatic events but while talking about it makes you feel like you can talk about your traumas and not be judged for and also make jokes so that everyone isn’t always sad and depressed. His situation as he said “I don’t talk about it for others” because no one wants to hear sad stories. But because he was able to mix comedy into it, it makes it a perfect way to talk about his grief, situation he went through, and how others who have similar situations or going through grief can help deal with it.

[Casey Taylor · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is more of a short comedy show than a book, but a good listen nonetheless. I appreciate how Michael Cruz Kayne shared his experience with grief in a way that adds raw humor to the subject that is inevitable in all of our lives. If you enjoy this short audio, I would highly recommend listening to his podcast A Good Cry. His podcast is honestly even better in my opinion. It hasn’t been updated in a few years, but I still go back and re-listen to some episodes when I’m feeling deeper in grief and aching to hear conversations from people who understand without filtering out the raw humor in it all.

[Zhelana · Rating 5 out of 5]

A comedy routine that might make you cry? Sure! Why not? Michael Cruz Kayne is a comedian who takes on the subject of grief for his comedy sketch. It surely takes a lot of skill to navigate the fine line between leaving people laughing and crying as he talks about his dead son. Somehow, he does it, and the sketch is funny and worth listening to. It's only about 90 minutes long, which usually isn't enough for me to get into anything really, but it doesn't seem too short. Overall I really enjoyed this.

[Caitlin Ball · Rating 5 out of 5]

I got this book because I’m terrible at dealing with grief and I’m working on a book where the main character is learning to deal with it from multiple angles… Grief is always too much for me in the real world. Writing is the only real way I can talk about it. In the real world I break down crying. When my grandpa died, I cried for over a week and I only stopped because it began to hurt. Literally my eyes couldn’t take it anymore.
Thank you for this. Thank you for Ghoti.
He really is a wave.

[Adrianna · Rating 5 out of 5]

"You think things are one way, they can also be another way. He was a particle. He was a wave."
If I could give this more than five stars, I absolutely would. It's a profoundly moving and laugh-out-loud funny performance about loss, grief, and honoring both with humor and tears . . . and a little math.
I don't know when or why I added this to my Audible library. Today, I finished another Audible book and had no credits to use. This is part of their membership library. I didn't know that I needed to hear this today, but I am so glad I did!

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a MUST LISTEN for EVERYONE! It is 1 hr and 23 min. This is for anyone who has ever experienced great grief, knows someone who has experienced grief, or will experience grief at some point in their life.

Michael Kayne deals with this difficult topic with such humor and humility that it makes processing and learning about this difficult emotion enjoyable as well as heart wrenching. You'll laugh. You'll cry. And you will be so glad you did.

[Tom · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's impossible to believe a professional comedian can do a successful stand-up routine describing the loss of his infant son to sepsis, but he does a very good job letting everyone on earth know they never suffer alone with their grief.

He claims that after mentioning the ten year anniversary of his loss on Twitter, he got over forty thousand responses that were all sadder stories than his.

[AttackGirl · Rating 3 out of 5]

Maybe should have started with the wave everywhere instead of build up of lies. Very sad.

Even during COVID when everyone everywhere was losing someone they loved, as we were bombard with Hospital Death scenes and India not enough wood to bury their dead no one has yet to discuss the loss everyone is feeling. Which is why I believe no one can understand why the USA keeps pushing Russian boundaries causing a war with even more people dying.