White Stuff

by Simon Armitage

"Sperm tests, wild-goose chases and lashings of warm and quirky English humour." -Harpers & Queen

Felix loves his wife Abbie. Abbie wants a baby. So Felix, not unaware of the thunderous ticking of Abbie's biological clock, wants to oblige - but their home has still to be blessed. Cue the usual round of doctors, tests, probes and scans - all to no avail.

Adopted at birth herself, Abbie decides that if she can't have a child, then she must at least discover whose child she is. Soon, she and Felix are caught up in a make-or break search for family, identity and meaning. But neither of them can have any idea quite where the journey will take them...

"With plenty of laugh-out-loud moments, touchy-feely bits and some choice observations about the things that men do, Armitage gives Homby a run for his money." -Daily Mirror

"The laconic unshockable humour of Armitage's poems persists through most of The White Stuff... He has painful and truthful things to show about work, love, men." -Independent

"Every detail of the small-town Northern settings rings true... his depiction of a marriage under strain gives the book considerable poignancy." -Maire Claire

"Endearing, enjoyable...a jolly good read." -Big Issue

Genres: Fiction

256 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2004

About the author

Simon Armitage, whose The Shout was a finalist for the National Book Critics Circle Award, has published ten volumes of poetry and has received numerous honors for his work. He was appointed UK Poet Laureate in 2019

Armitage's poetry collections include Book of Matches (1993) and The Dead Sea Poems (1995). He has written two novels, Little Green Man (2001) and The White Stuff (2004), as well as All Points North (1998), a collection of essays on the north of England. He has produced a dramatised version of Homer's Odyssey and a collection of poetry entitled Tyrannosaurus Rex Versus The Corduroy Kid (which was shortlisted for the TS Eliot Prize), both of which were published in July 2006. Many of Armitage's poems appear in the AQA (Assessment and Qualifications Alliance) GCSE syllabus for English Literature in the United Kingdom. These include "Homecoming", "November", "Kid", "Hitcher", and a selection of poems from Book of Matches, most notably of these "Mother any distance...". His writing is characterised by a dry Yorkshire wit combined with "an accessible, realist style and critical seriousness."

Reviews

[Jane Branson · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great read, both funny and touching. The background of social work and life in a northern town is wryly observed and the protagonist, the sweet but faintly ridiculous Felix, is at the centre of a wonderful cast and a story very satisfying in all its ups and downs.

[Rosie Ellen · Rating 4 out of 5]

An interesting and at times funny read. I didn't quite understand the format until the end but I didn't mind it too much. Quite liked it really.

[Lindsay · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am a fan of poetry by Simon Armitage, and also his previous novels, All Points North, and The Green Man. 'The White Stuff' is equally enjoyable. It is a moving, enjoyable read, at times a little uncomfortable, yet funny, and the relationship drawn between Abbie and Felix is realistic and loving. I enjoyed and understood Abbie's need to try and understand her past and find out who she really is. The final twist is a nice resolution.

[Maggie Sweeney · Rating 4 out of 5]

Mostly about a man's point of view of infertility with a mystery subplot. Interesting and funny with likable charters. I like Armitage's poetry as well. He is a great imagist. (Is that a word?) He's very heavy on British slang. I couldn't tell if he was being funny or if that's really the way Englishmen talk.

[Sandy Conley · Rating 4 out of 5]

A well written book easy to read. Lots of humour in the authors writing. A look at a newly married couple who wants to have a child but the mother to be was an adopted child. She wants to find her biological family to see what their child might look and act like. I felt sorry for the father to be as he had to jump through many hoops. Don't we all.

[Peter Roe · Rating 4 out of 5]

Enjoyed it as an easy read, the main characters were likeable and the plot flowed well. The mix of the main characters personal life and his work life was interesting.

[Francesca · Rating 4 out of 5]

First book I've read by Simon Armitage and I absolutely loved it! Abbie is desperate to have a baby and her husband, Felix, is trying to do everything to make this happen. Including some questionable decisions, such as asking his neighbour to give sperm because he's too nervous and can't get it up.

The story focuses around the couple but mostly the life of Felix and his job as a social worker. He is given the case of Ruby Moffatt who has suddenly developed a fear of spiders. It transpires that her neighbour has been making her do things and he has a tongue piercing of a spider (hence the spider fear).

Without the success of a baby, Abbie turns to her roots and wants to find out who her birth parents are. After finding out that her birth mum has died, there seems to be no hope, until Felix recognises a resemblance between Abbie and the 10 year old May queen. It turns out that they are half sisters and they share the same father - the headteacher!

Interwoven between the main 3rd person narrative which focuses on Felix's point of view, there is a second narrative that tells parts of the story from an omniscient detached 3rd person. No specific names are used but instead it focuses on the event and the role of men in particular- for instance, the stag party, the bbq, etc. This was really clever and added an extra layer to the novella.

[Julie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Undistinguished, unmemorable; I had a strong feeling the author wasn’t quite sure what he wanted the book to say - and got lost in a number of genres, underdeveloped characters and a bland plot. Disappointing.

[Bella · Rating 4 out of 5]

A joy to read. Vivid description that surprised me made me laugh out loud. The plot hinges on some random and left field moments that pulled me out of this otherwise compelling world.