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The Universal Home Doctor
"The Universal Home Doctor" is Simon Armitage's most personal collection of poems yet. The poems journey across the globe but are ultimately set against the most intimate of landscapes - the human body.
- GenresPoetry
80 pages, Paperback
First published May 19, 2003
5 people are currently reading
43 people want to read
About the author
Simon Armitage
143 books368 followersSimon Armitage, whose The Shout was a finalist for the National Book Critics Circle Award, has published ten volumes of poetry and has received numerous honors for his work. He was appointed UK Poet Laureate in 2019
Armitage's poetry collections include Book of Matches (1993) and The Dead Sea Poems (1995). He has written two novels, Little Green Man (2001) and The White Stuff (2004), as well as All Points North (1998), a collection of essays on the north of England. He has produced a dramatised version of Homer's Odyssey and a collection of poetry entitled Tyrannosaurus Rex Versus The Corduroy Kid (which was shortlisted for the TS Eliot Prize), both of which were published in July 2006. Many of Armitage's poems appear in the AQA (Assessment and Qualifications Alliance) GCSE syllabus for English Literature in the United Kingdom. These include "Homecoming", "November", "Kid", "Hitcher", and a selection of poems from Book of Matches, most notably of these "Mother any distance...". His writing is characterised by a dry Yorkshire wit combined with "an accessible, realist style and critical seriousness."
Armitage's poetry collections include Book of Matches (1993) and The Dead Sea Poems (1995). He has written two novels, Little Green Man (2001) and The White Stuff (2004), as well as All Points North (1998), a collection of essays on the north of England. He has produced a dramatised version of Homer's Odyssey and a collection of poetry entitled Tyrannosaurus Rex Versus The Corduroy Kid (which was shortlisted for the TS Eliot Prize), both of which were published in July 2006. Many of Armitage's poems appear in the AQA (Assessment and Qualifications Alliance) GCSE syllabus for English Literature in the United Kingdom. These include "Homecoming", "November", "Kid", "Hitcher", and a selection of poems from Book of Matches, most notably of these "Mother any distance...". His writing is characterised by a dry Yorkshire wit combined with "an accessible, realist style and critical seriousness."
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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
January 5, 2026
Another in my Simon Armitage Reading Project. Why I inflict these projects on myself - even when I love them - I don't know. I like to think in lists that I can tick off or cross out or, mostly, highlight in green on an Excel spreadsheet. Whether this is what reading is meant to be I don't know.
I also fear that I read poetry like a sea-bird skimming across the see-sawing sea snatching at shiny fish who scales glint in the sunshine. I don't dive deep into the poems as a whole but grasp at a phrase, a line, a stanza. The opposite of Close Reading. But why am I telling you all this? This isn't how you review a book. What good are these rambling thoughts to anyone considering picking this book up? Not much I suppose.
I don't have the academic language to describe the intricacies of the poetry but I feel I understand the rightness of things. The way a poet can build something that fits perfectly together like a carpenter with the dovetail joints of a box. It seems to me Armitage knows his craft and his art.
His topics can be - are mostly (?) - the ordinary things of the world in this collection, although there is much beaches. He describes the different types of pebbles on a stony beach delightfully. Taking me back to a beach in Sicily and Lyme Regis. I think it was Lyme Regis where I once went on holiday with my extended family and it seemed to rain a lot. But it probably didn't. There's always some prehistoric to me about a stony beach that is absent in a sandy one. That's a poem called, unsurprisingly, 'The Stone Beach':
...Underfoot
a billion stones and pebbles -
new potatoes, mint imperials,
the eggs of birds -
each rock more infinitely formed
than anything we own.
Spoilt for choice - which one to throw,
which to pocket and take home.
Another poem that bought back a distant memory of relatives. This time not my Dad's family but my Mum's was 'Butterflies' which perfectly describes the way you insides feel if you go over a hump in the road - say a bridge on the way to Wrexham in North Wales - in a car a little two fast. The almost absence of gravity.
But my favourite line, my favourite image because I could see it and it seemed so 'right' was this:
The first bus, empty, carries its cargo of light
from the depot, like a block of ice.
"Its cargo of light." As soon as I read that I could see it. Those days when, for whatever reason, I found myself at a bus station - "I loathe bus stations - terrible places, full of lost luggage and lost souls" as the Seventh Doctor once said - in the early hours of a winter's morning. As that first bus moves off, empty, it is a cargo of light. For some reason that really struck me. Not as profound but just...right.
Anyway I liked it. You should read it. You should read more poetry.
I also fear that I read poetry like a sea-bird skimming across the see-sawing sea snatching at shiny fish who scales glint in the sunshine. I don't dive deep into the poems as a whole but grasp at a phrase, a line, a stanza. The opposite of Close Reading. But why am I telling you all this? This isn't how you review a book. What good are these rambling thoughts to anyone considering picking this book up? Not much I suppose.
I don't have the academic language to describe the intricacies of the poetry but I feel I understand the rightness of things. The way a poet can build something that fits perfectly together like a carpenter with the dovetail joints of a box. It seems to me Armitage knows his craft and his art.
His topics can be - are mostly (?) - the ordinary things of the world in this collection, although there is much beaches. He describes the different types of pebbles on a stony beach delightfully. Taking me back to a beach in Sicily and Lyme Regis. I think it was Lyme Regis where I once went on holiday with my extended family and it seemed to rain a lot. But it probably didn't. There's always some prehistoric to me about a stony beach that is absent in a sandy one. That's a poem called, unsurprisingly, 'The Stone Beach':
...Underfoot
a billion stones and pebbles -
new potatoes, mint imperials,
the eggs of birds -
each rock more infinitely formed
than anything we own.
Spoilt for choice - which one to throw,
which to pocket and take home.
Another poem that bought back a distant memory of relatives. This time not my Dad's family but my Mum's was 'Butterflies' which perfectly describes the way you insides feel if you go over a hump in the road - say a bridge on the way to Wrexham in North Wales - in a car a little two fast. The almost absence of gravity.
But my favourite line, my favourite image because I could see it and it seemed so 'right' was this:
The first bus, empty, carries its cargo of light
from the depot, like a block of ice.
"Its cargo of light." As soon as I read that I could see it. Those days when, for whatever reason, I found myself at a bus station - "I loathe bus stations - terrible places, full of lost luggage and lost souls" as the Seventh Doctor once said - in the early hours of a winter's morning. As that first bus moves off, empty, it is a cargo of light. For some reason that really struck me. Not as profound but just...right.
Anyway I liked it. You should read it. You should read more poetry.
May 2, 2014
While this isn't the kind of poetry I usually find myself drawn to I did find The Universal Home Doctor interesting and engaging. Armitage's little collection of poems displayed a wonderful knowledge and usage of literary devices and cultural references.
My favorites were All for One and Splinter.
My favorites were All for One and Splinter.
June 28, 2008
I love his poetry... simple
November 3, 2008
I really love his work. This collection includes "The Shout."
December 15, 2017
This was a 2.5 stars - it could have been a 3 as there were some lines I really liked, but otherwise I struggled to connect with any of the poems
August 5, 2025
The Sealey Challenge Day 5
Book 5: ‘The Universal Home Doctor’ by Simon Armitage
Today, I turned to one of my favourite poets, the Poet Laureate, who didn’t disappoint with this 2002 collection full of dry wit and descriptive imagery in poems such as ‘All For One’ in which he tussles with his own errant mind which lives a life of its own; and ‘The Hard’; beautifully detailed views of beach and sea: “between low tide and dry land, the country of sand,/but the moon is law …”
A highly entertaining collection that delves into personal journeys and considerations of the body, the politic and the home .
Book 5: ‘The Universal Home Doctor’ by Simon Armitage
Today, I turned to one of my favourite poets, the Poet Laureate, who didn’t disappoint with this 2002 collection full of dry wit and descriptive imagery in poems such as ‘All For One’ in which he tussles with his own errant mind which lives a life of its own; and ‘The Hard’; beautifully detailed views of beach and sea: “between low tide and dry land, the country of sand,/but the moon is law …”
A highly entertaining collection that delves into personal journeys and considerations of the body, the politic and the home .
April 4, 2024
Found this poetry quite tricky, will have to go back and read again for a deeper insight. However I loved the introspection of these poems and their nuanced, simultaenously numb and raw perspective.
Favorite poems are:
The Back Man
An Expedition
The Straight and Narrow
The Twang
Laughing Stock
The Shout
Favorite poems are:
The Back Man
An Expedition
The Straight and Narrow
The Twang
Laughing Stock
The Shout
June 19, 2020
There is a spare, lean quality to Armitage's writings and this is one of his best collections. 'Flags of the Nations' was striking: it could have been written about Covid-19 yesterday - but is in fact 18 years old. Why was he made Poetry Prof at Oxford and Poet Laureate? Because he is bloody good.
August 23, 2024
Solid but with only a couple of standouts. Not my favourite collection by far but a few gems I'll definitely come back to.
September 19, 2013
Not really my cup of tea, but "The Shout" is amazing.
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews