What do you think?
Rate this book
The Witch of Tophet County #1
The Witch of Tophet County
The last witch on Earth takes on interdimensional invaders, tentacled overlords, and local politics in this fun, funny, and fast-paced urban fantasy series.
The witch of Tophet County has three primary Kentucky bourbon, Amish romance novels . . . and protecting her true identity from the chthonic monsters who rule humanity with an iron tentacle.
Despite her best efforts to get fired, the witch is trapped in a draconian, century-long contract that condemns her to work for the Archons of the Nether Realms in the banal misery of county government. But when she accidentally pleases her many-armed overlords, the Dread Lord of Human Resources curses her with an unwanted promotion. And it involves meetings.
As she enters a new bureaucratic hellscape, the witch is assigned to lead a task force investigating recent attacks on senior Archons. Fortunately, her boss has offered her a if she solves the case, they’ll knock fifteen years off her sentence. And if that doesn’t work out, well, she just might have to find a way to help take down the tentaclarchy—or else be doomed to permanent civil servitude . . .
Filled with quick-witted banter, hilariously relatable office politics, and fantastically original characters, The Witch of Tophet County is Lovecraft meets Parks and Recreation—an explosive start to a new series guaranteed to have you glued to your seat until the very last page.
The first volume of the hit horror fantasy series—with more than 100,000 views on Royal Road—now available on Kindle, Kindle Unlimited, and Audible!
“[The Witch of Tophet County] explores zany situations with a large cast of strange characters, effectively playing off the concept of an office in a fantasy realm.” —Kirkus Reviews
The witch of Tophet County has three primary Kentucky bourbon, Amish romance novels . . . and protecting her true identity from the chthonic monsters who rule humanity with an iron tentacle.
Despite her best efforts to get fired, the witch is trapped in a draconian, century-long contract that condemns her to work for the Archons of the Nether Realms in the banal misery of county government. But when she accidentally pleases her many-armed overlords, the Dread Lord of Human Resources curses her with an unwanted promotion. And it involves meetings.
As she enters a new bureaucratic hellscape, the witch is assigned to lead a task force investigating recent attacks on senior Archons. Fortunately, her boss has offered her a if she solves the case, they’ll knock fifteen years off her sentence. And if that doesn’t work out, well, she just might have to find a way to help take down the tentaclarchy—or else be doomed to permanent civil servitude . . .
Filled with quick-witted banter, hilariously relatable office politics, and fantastically original characters, The Witch of Tophet County is Lovecraft meets Parks and Recreation—an explosive start to a new series guaranteed to have you glued to your seat until the very last page.
The first volume of the hit horror fantasy series—with more than 100,000 views on Royal Road—now available on Kindle, Kindle Unlimited, and Audible!
“[The Witch of Tophet County] explores zany situations with a large cast of strange characters, effectively playing off the concept of an office in a fantasy realm.” —Kirkus Reviews
266 pages, Paperback
First published January 9, 2024
52 people are currently reading
1831 people want to read
About the author
J.H. Schiller
6 books29 followersJ. H. Schiller writes speculative fiction with a flair for the weird and a healthy dose of the absurd. In an earlier incarnation, she earned a graduate degree in international affairs and worked for the federal government in Washington, DC. She has since escaped to Ohio, where she writes full-time. Her short fiction has been featured in several anthologies and online publications. Her debut novel, The Witch of Tophet County, was published in January 2024 (Podium). She is a member of the SFWA.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 66 reviews
January 10, 2024
Thank you to Netgalley and to the Publisher for giving me an Advanced Readers Copy of this book.
This book perfectly manages the careful balance between political commentary and comedy - especially given its premise! The Witch of Tophet County follows the last surving witch, her three-legged raccoon familiar and a host of Lovecraftian horrors as they navigate the intricacies of County politics whilst trying to save the world.
This was one of my last reads of 2023 - and what a way to end the year! The Witch of Tophet County was a hilarious rollercoaster, and I enjoyed every second of it.
I don't know what J. H. schiller has planned next, but I'm definitely going to read it.
--------
Quick review:
Honestly, it's one of the most unique books I've read in a while. Rollercoaster of witches and intra-county politics with a hint of saving the world.
This book perfectly manages the careful balance between political commentary and comedy - especially given its premise! The Witch of Tophet County follows the last surving witch, her three-legged raccoon familiar and a host of Lovecraftian horrors as they navigate the intricacies of County politics whilst trying to save the world.
This was one of my last reads of 2023 - and what a way to end the year! The Witch of Tophet County was a hilarious rollercoaster, and I enjoyed every second of it.
I don't know what J. H. schiller has planned next, but I'm definitely going to read it.
--------
Quick review:
Honestly, it's one of the most unique books I've read in a while. Rollercoaster of witches and intra-county politics with a hint of saving the world.
November 20, 2023
4.5/5
Where do I even begin with this book, it had me laughing from the first chapter. Witch is so grumpy, sarcastic and sassy, I love her. The story starts with Witch (name unknown) trying to find a way to get out of her service contract as the County Witch. But some higher ups start disappearing so she get's rope into trying to solve what’s happening. And also gets stuck working with a group of misfits characters.
And let me tell you I can’t pick a favorite from Chad the IT guy redeeming all Chads, to the Dread Lord of Human Resources, to Heather the 'business' woman. And can't forget the amazing 3 legged raccoon familiar, Keyzer Söze. Personally I like this type of cheeky and silly humor, the pop culture references made me laugh out loud.
I was glad for the character growth, specially on Witch. She started as I hate everyone and everything and ended being able to open up and let people in. The mix of sci-fi and fantasy was also great and not difficult to follow. overall I had a lot of fun reading this book.
Thank You to NetGalley for the opportunity to read the ARC.
Where do I even begin with this book, it had me laughing from the first chapter. Witch is so grumpy, sarcastic and sassy, I love her. The story starts with Witch (name unknown) trying to find a way to get out of her service contract as the County Witch. But some higher ups start disappearing so she get's rope into trying to solve what’s happening. And also gets stuck working with a group of misfits characters.
And let me tell you I can’t pick a favorite from Chad the IT guy redeeming all Chads, to the Dread Lord of Human Resources, to Heather the 'business' woman. And can't forget the amazing 3 legged raccoon familiar, Keyzer Söze. Personally I like this type of cheeky and silly humor, the pop culture references made me laugh out loud.
I was glad for the character growth, specially on Witch. She started as I hate everyone and everything and ended being able to open up and let people in. The mix of sci-fi and fantasy was also great and not difficult to follow. overall I had a lot of fun reading this book.
Thank You to NetGalley for the opportunity to read the ARC.
December 10, 2023
-Netgalley Arc Review-
This book is bananas. And I mean that as an absolute compliment.
Like any comedy book, not every joke hits their target but there's still a lot of solid funny moments throughout.
Some will definitely find this book a bit too steeped in comedy for their liking. If you're looking for a plot heavy take on eldrich horrors doing mundane business things, you're not gonna find it here.
This might be a good recc for fans of Netflix's Inside Job.
Personally I have a problem keeping track of all the acronyms and names used throughout this book, but that's probably just a me thing.
Overall a fun time!
This book is bananas. And I mean that as an absolute compliment.
Like any comedy book, not every joke hits their target but there's still a lot of solid funny moments throughout.
Some will definitely find this book a bit too steeped in comedy for their liking. If you're looking for a plot heavy take on eldrich horrors doing mundane business things, you're not gonna find it here.
This might be a good recc for fans of Netflix's Inside Job.
Personally I have a problem keeping track of all the acronyms and names used throughout this book, but that's probably just a me thing.
Overall a fun time!
December 28, 2023
This book is like a hoarder house of clever ideas. There are smart and funny thoughts crammed in every crevice, but never quite given the time and space to be displayed to their full potential. The end result for me is a book that I can 100% say made me chuckle and that I found both intelligent and heart-warming, but that I also found confusing at times, and just all around TOO MUCH. That said, with some editing and tweaks to the pacing, this could have been a near perfect book for me. A lot of potential and will keep my eye on this author in the future.
January 4, 2024
Thank you to Netgalley, Podium publishing and of course J.H Schiller for providing an ARC of this book to review!
The Witch of Tophet County comes out on January 9th, 2024, to a bookstore or library near you!
What do you get when you mix the wit and humor of Douglas Adams with the disturbing imagery of Lovecraft, add in the only surviving witch in the world with a penchant for practical jokes and a 3 legged raccoon familiar? You get this gem of a book, The Witch of Tophet County!
The main character, Witch (she's hell bent on keeping her true name secret), is desperate to break her magical contract with the Archons, a many-tentacled bureaucratic race of Eldritchian creatures that had taken over the world (and wears human suits!); especially since her probationary period is almost up. Once the Winter Solstice hits, she's magically bound to work in the misery of county government for them for a whole century! But when a practical joke goes awry and accidentally pleases her overlords, she's unwillingly promoted to lead a task force to investigate a series of attacks on the elder Archons, promising that if she solves the case, they'll knock some time off of her sentence. Begrudgingly, she accepts and faces such terrors as teamwork, cooperation with Archons and meetings; lots and lots of meetings. Little does she know that this case will end up with her having to save the world. What is happening to the elder Archons? Who is responsible? Why are there so many god damn meetings?? I'll leave that dear reader, for you to find out!
Honestly, this book really surprised me! After reading the blurb, I went into this expecting something akin to Christopher Moore: funny, crazy, wild, and a lot of fun, but not much there. Boy was I wrong! This book is just packed with humor and wit, has an explaination to the magic system that makes sense, has smart references to today's world, a relevant moral and even heartwarming moments that made me shed a tear!
I normally don't like sarcastic or abrasive characters, but I warmed up to Witch pretty quickly, I have to admit I loved her humor and creative cursing (though I recognize this could be a negative for some people) and really enjoyed watching her personal growth. The quirky cast of characters were endearing and so unique in their personalities (Besides Witch, I absolutely loved Magnolia and Vasquez!), and I found myself rooting for every one single of them. The mystery has so many twists and turns, I never guessed half of the reveals and was shocked when I found them out! The ending is just phenomenal and perfect for this story. What can I say? This book was my first read of 2024 and it has set the bar impossibly high for anything that follows it.
If you don't mind frequent cursing or casual descriptions of horrible imagery, Love humor akin to Douglas Adams or Christopher Moore and are looking for a fun and wild read, then you will love J.H Schiller's The Witch of Tophet County!
The Witch of Tophet County comes out on January 9th, 2024, to a bookstore or library near you!
What do you get when you mix the wit and humor of Douglas Adams with the disturbing imagery of Lovecraft, add in the only surviving witch in the world with a penchant for practical jokes and a 3 legged raccoon familiar? You get this gem of a book, The Witch of Tophet County!
The main character, Witch (she's hell bent on keeping her true name secret), is desperate to break her magical contract with the Archons, a many-tentacled bureaucratic race of Eldritchian creatures that had taken over the world (and wears human suits!); especially since her probationary period is almost up. Once the Winter Solstice hits, she's magically bound to work in the misery of county government for them for a whole century! But when a practical joke goes awry and accidentally pleases her overlords, she's unwillingly promoted to lead a task force to investigate a series of attacks on the elder Archons, promising that if she solves the case, they'll knock some time off of her sentence. Begrudgingly, she accepts and faces such terrors as teamwork, cooperation with Archons and meetings; lots and lots of meetings. Little does she know that this case will end up with her having to save the world. What is happening to the elder Archons? Who is responsible? Why are there so many god damn meetings?? I'll leave that dear reader, for you to find out!
Honestly, this book really surprised me! After reading the blurb, I went into this expecting something akin to Christopher Moore: funny, crazy, wild, and a lot of fun, but not much there. Boy was I wrong! This book is just packed with humor and wit, has an explaination to the magic system that makes sense, has smart references to today's world, a relevant moral and even heartwarming moments that made me shed a tear!
I normally don't like sarcastic or abrasive characters, but I warmed up to Witch pretty quickly, I have to admit I loved her humor and creative cursing (though I recognize this could be a negative for some people) and really enjoyed watching her personal growth. The quirky cast of characters were endearing and so unique in their personalities (Besides Witch, I absolutely loved Magnolia and Vasquez!), and I found myself rooting for every one single of them. The mystery has so many twists and turns, I never guessed half of the reveals and was shocked when I found them out! The ending is just phenomenal and perfect for this story. What can I say? This book was my first read of 2024 and it has set the bar impossibly high for anything that follows it.
If you don't mind frequent cursing or casual descriptions of horrible imagery, Love humor akin to Douglas Adams or Christopher Moore and are looking for a fun and wild read, then you will love J.H Schiller's The Witch of Tophet County!
February 16, 2024
Wow. Okay, this book, I laughed so many times- it has legit been a hot minute since I’ve laughed so much at a book. I was absolutely screaming at the “fuck a bunch of Chads” line. Especially with a chapter title like “I’m with Heat(her)” and I’m going down some flashback ptsd rabbit hole thinking about hanging chads at one point and then I hear that line and I’m like -=brain blowing out of my face=- nooooo… maybe???
Also: highly recommend listening to this book. I got it on Audible and Soneela Nankani absolutely blew this away. Her voices were incredible. Sometimes I did get a lil bit irritated by the *ahem* from the dread lord of HR, but it just made me feel her burning hatred for her job, and her coworkers verbal tics, etc. Like do I hate this or do I hate when someone keeps vaguely alluding to their medical condition and being incredibly weird about everything at work for no apparent reason aside from the fact that it makes things more dramatic and omg I don’t want to even know what the podiatrist said Nancy, especially at lunch, just go home!
Okay, some of the things in this book, I did get confused by what was going on, I did have to pace myself on this one. I think this might actually be a book that a reread would help me out a lot. The MLM stuff, especially It Hurts (trademark) were just *chefs kiss*
I dunno, I’m biased but loved it.
Also: highly recommend listening to this book. I got it on Audible and Soneela Nankani absolutely blew this away. Her voices were incredible. Sometimes I did get a lil bit irritated by the *ahem* from the dread lord of HR, but it just made me feel her burning hatred for her job, and her coworkers verbal tics, etc. Like do I hate this or do I hate when someone keeps vaguely alluding to their medical condition and being incredibly weird about everything at work for no apparent reason aside from the fact that it makes things more dramatic and omg I don’t want to even know what the podiatrist said Nancy, especially at lunch, just go home!
Okay, some of the things in this book, I did get confused by what was going on, I did have to pace myself on this one. I think this might actually be a book that a reread would help me out a lot. The MLM stuff, especially It Hurts (trademark) were just *chefs kiss*
I dunno, I’m biased but loved it.
January 12, 2024
Read this book if you like:
~Satire
~Sassy witches
~Flawed main characters
~Found family
~Antiheroes
~Feminism
~Tentacles
~Sarcasm
This book follows Witch. She is the last witch and no one knows her actual name, so everyone calls her Witch or a word that rhymes with witch. She's stuck in a magical contract working for the county government under the Archons (an alien race/interdimensional beings/think large with tentacles). She mostly avoids her job and isn't very nice to those around her. When she's roped into trying to solve a series of attacks against the Archons, she's got some tough decisions to make.
The Witches antics are entertaining. The book has short quick chapters with titles such as: Dr. Unibrow and A Coven of She-Devils. There's commentary about relationships, prejudices, government, pyramid schemes, and that there are multiple sides to every story. It's very tongue in check and smart.
If you enjoy books like Assistant to the Villian, I would 100% recommend this book.
~Satire
~Sassy witches
~Flawed main characters
~Found family
~Antiheroes
~Feminism
~Tentacles
~Sarcasm
This book follows Witch. She is the last witch and no one knows her actual name, so everyone calls her Witch or a word that rhymes with witch. She's stuck in a magical contract working for the county government under the Archons (an alien race/interdimensional beings/think large with tentacles). She mostly avoids her job and isn't very nice to those around her. When she's roped into trying to solve a series of attacks against the Archons, she's got some tough decisions to make.
The Witches antics are entertaining. The book has short quick chapters with titles such as: Dr. Unibrow and A Coven of She-Devils. There's commentary about relationships, prejudices, government, pyramid schemes, and that there are multiple sides to every story. It's very tongue in check and smart.
If you enjoy books like Assistant to the Villian, I would 100% recommend this book.
January 10, 2024
Wow this book was just so much fun to read!And I loved every second of it! Just the right amount of amusing I needed to get this year started right!
The “witch”, whose name will not be revealed, was just the best: snarky, sassy, and bad a.. there was so much witty banter and comebacks I couldn’t stop chuckling out loud to myself.
Would I recommend? A thousand yes’s! If you like strong fun female characters you’re gonna like this one.
A great quirky start to a new series…J.H. Schiller if you read this hurry up with the next one 😉
Thank you @booksforwardpr for my ARC in exchange for an honest review!
The “witch”, whose name will not be revealed, was just the best: snarky, sassy, and bad a.. there was so much witty banter and comebacks I couldn’t stop chuckling out loud to myself.
Would I recommend? A thousand yes’s! If you like strong fun female characters you’re gonna like this one.
A great quirky start to a new series…J.H. Schiller if you read this hurry up with the next one 😉
Thank you @booksforwardpr for my ARC in exchange for an honest review!
December 6, 2023
Sarcastic humor, unspeakable horrors, and the chaotic powers inherent to 3 year olds - this book has it all. I enjoyed this so much!
February 22, 2024
I can't get over how the author managed to write such a witty, fast-paced—and dare I say, touching— story while building a world we would recognize, yet is magically different from our own. Even if it's not a genre you normally read, give it a try–you'll be glad you did!
December 22, 2023
Comedy books can be so hit and miss but I absolutely loved this completely bonkers book. I think this book is marketed as a comedy horror and that’s the best way to look at it - don’t go into this expecting an elaborate plot or deeply complex political intrigues, as that’s just not what we’re here for.
Having said that, I actually really loved the cast of characters here, from the Witch, to Chad the IT guy, to Heather the business woman who’s ‘found her why’ - I really enjoyed this motley crew! There is also a really charming approach to character development and almost every character managed to have a really satisfying character arc which added something really special to this read.
Overall, this was a FUN read that was easy to follow and genuinely really enjoyable! If you’re wanting something that’s not that serious then this might be a good call!
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for an E-ARC
Having said that, I actually really loved the cast of characters here, from the Witch, to Chad the IT guy, to Heather the business woman who’s ‘found her why’ - I really enjoyed this motley crew! There is also a really charming approach to character development and almost every character managed to have a really satisfying character arc which added something really special to this read.
Overall, this was a FUN read that was easy to follow and genuinely really enjoyable! If you’re wanting something that’s not that serious then this might be a good call!
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for an E-ARC
September 19, 2024
The implication was clear: They were screwed.
"The Witch of Tophet County: A Comedy of Horrors" by author J.H. Schiller has got to be one of the oddest books I've read in, well, ever. And I say that after majoring in Organic Chemistry in college (the horror! the horror!). Now be patient: I don't necessarily mean the whole "odd" bit in a bad way and I will (eventually) wind up recommending that you out there in your own dimensions read this book, too. Only there's a lot here that reminds me of books like Jeff Abugov's "Zombies versus Aliens versus Vampires versus Dinosaurs" or even "Tales from the Gas Station" by Jack Townsend. You know, with absolutely insane plots that (a) make little to no sense until you're putting your empty popcorn bucket in the trashcan as you exit the theater and/or (b) leave you with a blinding migraine even though you enjoyed yourself every step of the way. And I'm willing to risk saying right here and now that Schiller's offer may even be more complex than these aforementioned books, at least in a "this is the first book in a complex multiverse examination of the embodiments of entropy and more and their overall coexistence and even sexual endeavors with mankind" kind of way. Which if that made sense means this book might even bore you slightly. Or that you're not human. You never know.
The world was ruled by a de facto tentaclarchy.
Look, let's be blunt: things get complicated for everyone and everything involved. And it's especially hard to come to grips with as for a great portion of the book we don't know who we're supposed to be pulling for, prepositions at the end of the sentence be damned. I mean, there's Witch who is, of course, a witch. She's the last of her kind after the creepy crawly Archons burst forth onto Earth - yes, rejoice ye followers of H.P.Lovecraft, for all that he dreamt has come true! It seems that some of the Repubnazis that marched through Charlottesville in 2017 armed with their mighty tiki torches did more than just elicit shock and anger from just about every sane human on the planet. But no, Witch is a fairly normal "don't call her human" who is a bit (a lot) of a slob and even has a tribe of semi-sentient dust balls in her office. So naturally, she quickly goes from being a faceless (not literally, at least not yet) county employee to a rather significant person of power… just as the excrement begins smacking into the the rotary oscillator.
HR only permits necessary cruelty.
No, despite some insisting that these previously noted screaming greasers full of hate and with teeny-tiny testicles were one-half of the "good people on both sides", their anger and vitriole tipped the balance of "things" so much, that the dimensional (is that the right word? Interspatial? I dunno…) balance was thrown into the waste bin of the cosmos and viola, out came the nasties. That's right, these, quote, "fucktangular shit-gibbons summoned these devils", unquote. So lo and behold a great percentage of all humans then got "et" and the rest were subjugated accordingly, including the last of her kind, namely, the witch called Witch whose dominant personality trait could only be described as "hostile". But hey, "at least (the Archon bosses) terrorized all humans equally" which is a lot more than we can say about other previous administrations. Nudge nudge. Lot's of room for conflict, no?
We use the FUCK method—forgiveness, understanding, concern, and kindness. A good FUCK cures most anything.
OK, with me so far? Well, good because things get a LOT more confusing as the author also chooses to populate these pages with lots of Lovecraftian names for the various leaders of the local County Government (I don't know if that needs all caps but it feels like the safe thing to do). And don't even get me started on the damn organigram! So this includes Za’gathoth, the Mindless Mother, matriarch of the Archons of the Nether Realms; Chlogha, Keeper of Arcane Knowledge and Dread Librarian; and N’eithamiqug, High Lord of Health and Human Services, a giant spider-like creature with a human face… if you discount the 6 extra eyes. I honestly couldn't keep everyone/-thing straight and was more than relieved when we started just referring to them as just, for example, the Dread Lord of Human Resources (vs. Sathach + his/her/its title, which honestly wasn't all that bad) or the Dread Lord of Solid Waste Management (vs. Yi’danag, the Unseen Creeping Horror or even just the UCH… then again, acronyms are not all that much more helpful).
They might be vicious monsters, but unlike the pre-Emergence ruling class, they weren’t totally morally bankrupt.
Look, the book is very well written and even expertly edited. But along with this need for, well, thinking and comprehending what we're reading that some authors seem to find useful, Schiller also has this tendency to throw in puns, insults, and/or bits of wordplay at a solid rate of about 2 - 3 per page. So you need to stay on your toes without also then adding some sort of allusion to your dancing skills. And goodness gracious, Witch is incredibly and utterly and without hesitationally so snarky that these come at a rapid fire pace and with mind-boggling connotations. In fact, she loves spouting out alliteration - see "Lovecraft’s leaking lizard" or "Cthulhu’s cockleshells" or my favorite, namely,
"By the bearded balls of Black Phillip" among dozens of other examples - so much that you begin looking more for it than the actual text! It makes again for a bit of exhaustion and, at least for me, was so distracting it even slowed down the pacing. I mean, when you can't tell if someone is giving sublime clues to her colleagues or telling someone that she's stepped in more intelligent raccoon scat (or skat if you so prefer) than what the local populace is offering in terms of mental fortitude it just… Well, it just does, okay?
May it serve you right, you foul-mouthed turd blossom.
I will say this, and yes it'll be another one of those round-about weird compliments (I hope): this is the kind of book that might be best enjoyed by reading it twice. I mean, now that I've managed to absorb at least a modicum of what the hell was going on, I can just about make sense of all the physics, magic, and interdimensional tunneling we witnessed while also even tuning out (or down, your call) some of the more distracting asides (hint: lots and lots of kinky stuff, trust me). And that doesn't even include anyone's ability to make and/or keep friends or even the Amish porn - sorry ROMANCE - references (who knew? OK, I did…). But yeah, I think I might just pass the final exam for this one and be able to move on to Book 2. Still, if I get any more pains behind my eyepockets, I may send the publishers a cleaning bill for the profuse oozing of grayish-yellow slime that won't stop shooting out of my head. And that's just from the holes that don't have tentacles wiggling out of them.
"The Witch of Tophet County: A Comedy of Horrors" by author J.H. Schiller has got to be one of the oddest books I've read in, well, ever. And I say that after majoring in Organic Chemistry in college (the horror! the horror!). Now be patient: I don't necessarily mean the whole "odd" bit in a bad way and I will (eventually) wind up recommending that you out there in your own dimensions read this book, too. Only there's a lot here that reminds me of books like Jeff Abugov's "Zombies versus Aliens versus Vampires versus Dinosaurs" or even "Tales from the Gas Station" by Jack Townsend. You know, with absolutely insane plots that (a) make little to no sense until you're putting your empty popcorn bucket in the trashcan as you exit the theater and/or (b) leave you with a blinding migraine even though you enjoyed yourself every step of the way. And I'm willing to risk saying right here and now that Schiller's offer may even be more complex than these aforementioned books, at least in a "this is the first book in a complex multiverse examination of the embodiments of entropy and more and their overall coexistence and even sexual endeavors with mankind" kind of way. Which if that made sense means this book might even bore you slightly. Or that you're not human. You never know.
The world was ruled by a de facto tentaclarchy.
Look, let's be blunt: things get complicated for everyone and everything involved. And it's especially hard to come to grips with as for a great portion of the book we don't know who we're supposed to be pulling for, prepositions at the end of the sentence be damned. I mean, there's Witch who is, of course, a witch. She's the last of her kind after the creepy crawly Archons burst forth onto Earth - yes, rejoice ye followers of H.P.Lovecraft, for all that he dreamt has come true! It seems that some of the Repubnazis that marched through Charlottesville in 2017 armed with their mighty tiki torches did more than just elicit shock and anger from just about every sane human on the planet. But no, Witch is a fairly normal "don't call her human" who is a bit (a lot) of a slob and even has a tribe of semi-sentient dust balls in her office. So naturally, she quickly goes from being a faceless (not literally, at least not yet) county employee to a rather significant person of power… just as the excrement begins smacking into the the rotary oscillator.
HR only permits necessary cruelty.
No, despite some insisting that these previously noted screaming greasers full of hate and with teeny-tiny testicles were one-half of the "good people on both sides", their anger and vitriole tipped the balance of "things" so much, that the dimensional (is that the right word? Interspatial? I dunno…) balance was thrown into the waste bin of the cosmos and viola, out came the nasties. That's right, these, quote, "fucktangular shit-gibbons summoned these devils", unquote. So lo and behold a great percentage of all humans then got "et" and the rest were subjugated accordingly, including the last of her kind, namely, the witch called Witch whose dominant personality trait could only be described as "hostile". But hey, "at least (the Archon bosses) terrorized all humans equally" which is a lot more than we can say about other previous administrations. Nudge nudge. Lot's of room for conflict, no?
We use the FUCK method—forgiveness, understanding, concern, and kindness. A good FUCK cures most anything.
OK, with me so far? Well, good because things get a LOT more confusing as the author also chooses to populate these pages with lots of Lovecraftian names for the various leaders of the local County Government (I don't know if that needs all caps but it feels like the safe thing to do). And don't even get me started on the damn organigram! So this includes Za’gathoth, the Mindless Mother, matriarch of the Archons of the Nether Realms; Chlogha, Keeper of Arcane Knowledge and Dread Librarian; and N’eithamiqug, High Lord of Health and Human Services, a giant spider-like creature with a human face… if you discount the 6 extra eyes. I honestly couldn't keep everyone/-thing straight and was more than relieved when we started just referring to them as just, for example, the Dread Lord of Human Resources (vs. Sathach + his/her/its title, which honestly wasn't all that bad) or the Dread Lord of Solid Waste Management (vs. Yi’danag, the Unseen Creeping Horror or even just the UCH… then again, acronyms are not all that much more helpful).
They might be vicious monsters, but unlike the pre-Emergence ruling class, they weren’t totally morally bankrupt.
Look, the book is very well written and even expertly edited. But along with this need for, well, thinking and comprehending what we're reading that some authors seem to find useful, Schiller also has this tendency to throw in puns, insults, and/or bits of wordplay at a solid rate of about 2 - 3 per page. So you need to stay on your toes without also then adding some sort of allusion to your dancing skills. And goodness gracious, Witch is incredibly and utterly and without hesitationally so snarky that these come at a rapid fire pace and with mind-boggling connotations. In fact, she loves spouting out alliteration - see "Lovecraft’s leaking lizard" or "Cthulhu’s cockleshells" or my favorite, namely,
"By the bearded balls of Black Phillip" among dozens of other examples - so much that you begin looking more for it than the actual text! It makes again for a bit of exhaustion and, at least for me, was so distracting it even slowed down the pacing. I mean, when you can't tell if someone is giving sublime clues to her colleagues or telling someone that she's stepped in more intelligent raccoon scat (or skat if you so prefer) than what the local populace is offering in terms of mental fortitude it just… Well, it just does, okay?
May it serve you right, you foul-mouthed turd blossom.
I will say this, and yes it'll be another one of those round-about weird compliments (I hope): this is the kind of book that might be best enjoyed by reading it twice. I mean, now that I've managed to absorb at least a modicum of what the hell was going on, I can just about make sense of all the physics, magic, and interdimensional tunneling we witnessed while also even tuning out (or down, your call) some of the more distracting asides (hint: lots and lots of kinky stuff, trust me). And that doesn't even include anyone's ability to make and/or keep friends or even the Amish porn - sorry ROMANCE - references (who knew? OK, I did…). But yeah, I think I might just pass the final exam for this one and be able to move on to Book 2. Still, if I get any more pains behind my eyepockets, I may send the publishers a cleaning bill for the profuse oozing of grayish-yellow slime that won't stop shooting out of my head. And that's just from the holes that don't have tentacles wiggling out of them.
April 16, 2024
A world ruled by eldritch horrors, set up in beaurocratic systems.
Not something you expect to hear every day.
But the Witch is someone who works within these Horrors of beaurocracy, bound by a contract of 100 years and one day. Of course, she is less than enthusiastic to spend her life like this and tries her best to make everything a little more exciting. Pranks, practical jokes, little mishaps.
But when one of those pranks goes too far and causes the first human ever to become mayor of the city, she is roped into even more politics. Not to speak of the disappearing dread lords she is now forced to take the place of, and search for.
Allying up with such that she never imagined to actually trust, she comes closer and closer not only to the truth behind the disappearances, but also the origin of their eldritch lords themselves.
And it seems like some of them might actually be alright.
This book is incredibly witty and funny, the whole narrative around the beaurocracy of the eldritch horrors is amazing already. I loved every aspect of this, the hint of romance, the absolute and utter annoyance of the witch, the chaos and the horror.
This is an absolute must-read for, honestly, everyone who is just the slightest bit interested in lovecraft and the greater, dark beings.
Our eldritch overlords await you.
Honestly can't wait for the second book
Not something you expect to hear every day.
But the Witch is someone who works within these Horrors of beaurocracy, bound by a contract of 100 years and one day. Of course, she is less than enthusiastic to spend her life like this and tries her best to make everything a little more exciting. Pranks, practical jokes, little mishaps.
But when one of those pranks goes too far and causes the first human ever to become mayor of the city, she is roped into even more politics. Not to speak of the disappearing dread lords she is now forced to take the place of, and search for.
Allying up with such that she never imagined to actually trust, she comes closer and closer not only to the truth behind the disappearances, but also the origin of their eldritch lords themselves.
And it seems like some of them might actually be alright.
This book is incredibly witty and funny, the whole narrative around the beaurocracy of the eldritch horrors is amazing already. I loved every aspect of this, the hint of romance, the absolute and utter annoyance of the witch, the chaos and the horror.
This is an absolute must-read for, honestly, everyone who is just the slightest bit interested in lovecraft and the greater, dark beings.
Our eldritch overlords await you.
Honestly can't wait for the second book
November 22, 2023
I received an ebook ARC through netgalley for my review.
"Besides the fact that omitting her name had weakened her contract's magical hold, giving her the leeway to attempt breaking it, the Dread Lord had a pathological obsession with maintaining accurate employee records. He'd been apoplectic when he discovered she was using a pseudonym.
'I demand to know your true name, Witch!'
'It's Connie-'
'Don't you dare,' he shrieked.
'Lingus!'"
If HP Lovecraft and Franz Kafka had a horde of children, they would be the eldritch bureaucrats that are the Archons. I absolutely adored this book. It was laugh out loud funny, absurdist, and an honestly fun romp that reminded me of a crasser, feminine Douglas Adams book. I will say I figured out a couple of major plot twists long before the reveal, but I can't really hold that against it. The character growth of the main crew was done extremely well and I would love to see a series about these characters, or even just new mischief the witch gets herself into in the future. Thoroughly enjoyable.
"Besides the fact that omitting her name had weakened her contract's magical hold, giving her the leeway to attempt breaking it, the Dread Lord had a pathological obsession with maintaining accurate employee records. He'd been apoplectic when he discovered she was using a pseudonym.
'I demand to know your true name, Witch!'
'It's Connie-'
'Don't you dare,' he shrieked.
'Lingus!'"
If HP Lovecraft and Franz Kafka had a horde of children, they would be the eldritch bureaucrats that are the Archons. I absolutely adored this book. It was laugh out loud funny, absurdist, and an honestly fun romp that reminded me of a crasser, feminine Douglas Adams book. I will say I figured out a couple of major plot twists long before the reveal, but I can't really hold that against it. The character growth of the main crew was done extremely well and I would love to see a series about these characters, or even just new mischief the witch gets herself into in the future. Thoroughly enjoyable.
April 16, 2025
She's not just a witch. She is The Witch. The last witch alive in the universe. And she works in an office. With other humans. Oh, and some horrors. And one day she decides that she wants to steal a book from the local library. What could go wrong?
First of all, Kayzer Soze is a mood! In any form, shape, and size. He is the three-legged raccoon you want in your life.
I loved that the author kept the Witch's true name a mystery. She's the Witch. That's who she is. That's all we readers need to know about her.
I enjoyed the writing and the descriptions, the comedy and the action in the book.
In this book, you can find horror (not too much), comedy (lots of it), politics, and love.
Every character was fun to read and the plot was so easy to read through. The character development happened so slowly, but at the same time so fast, it was so satisfying reading the last chapter.
Thank you to NetGalley for the ebook.
First of all, Kayzer Soze is a mood! In any form, shape, and size. He is the three-legged raccoon you want in your life.
I loved that the author kept the Witch's true name a mystery. She's the Witch. That's who she is. That's all we readers need to know about her.
I enjoyed the writing and the descriptions, the comedy and the action in the book.
In this book, you can find horror (not too much), comedy (lots of it), politics, and love.
Every character was fun to read and the plot was so easy to read through. The character development happened so slowly, but at the same time so fast, it was so satisfying reading the last chapter.
Thank you to NetGalley for the ebook.
February 29, 2024
Funny and punny: a silly pleasure
February 2, 2024
Before I begin this review, I want to thank Net Galley for allowing me to read The Witch of Tophet County for free in exchange for an honest review.
This satirical story includes tentacled alien life forms living among humans and the last witch on the face of the earth, marking one of the strangest books I have ever read. There is humor, unexpected twists at every corner, and perhaps a budding relationship between the witch of Tophet County and the nerdy tech guy, Chad. It's funny, often sweet, and weird!
Honestly, I struggled reading this book as I tried wrapping my head around this world and its characters. This book is weird to the point that it can easily distract you from the story. However, I quickly fell in love with the writing and the relationship between the grumpy but lonely and soft witch of Tophet County and her coworker, Chad! Everything is done in such an outlandish way (the Illuminati openly have meetings where seemingly anyone can join and let me not forget about the chicken nugget that speaks) that it is not hard to view this whole book as one piece of satire for the current state of our world.
We don't know the witch's real name because she must keep her identity a secret to remain untouched by the tighter restraints of her contract. She is grumpy and is trying to do everything she can to get fired and break the contract she is bound to for one hundred years and one day (the day irks her, as I am sure it would irk anyone else). The witch surprisingly has a soft spot for her coworker Chad, and despite being the last witch to roam the earth, she wants more than anything to be treated like an actual person. Her and Chad's relationship is surprisingly sweet and normal, going against the curb of the outlandish humor and other relationships presented in this book.
The plot of this book begins with a very straightforward premise: the witch no longer wants to work or be bound to a contract she had to sign when she was six. But as the story goes on, the witch and everyone she has grown to care about is increasingly threatened by an alien race known as the little white men, who crave order and wish to wipe out anything different or chaotic.
The world-building is fantastic! This story involves Archons, a tentacled alien species that uses human body suits, and humans living in a not-so-harmonizing manner. This added to the explanation for the existence of magic and the history of the Archons helps paint a picture of the world these characters live in. The little white men are the antithesis of the chaotic nature in which the humans and Archons live together, helping further explain the nature of this world.
This book is fast-paced and zany and has interesting characters and a premise. I would recommend this book to anyone who loves satires and isn't afraid of being dumped into a weird world where it seems anything and everything is possible.
This satirical story includes tentacled alien life forms living among humans and the last witch on the face of the earth, marking one of the strangest books I have ever read. There is humor, unexpected twists at every corner, and perhaps a budding relationship between the witch of Tophet County and the nerdy tech guy, Chad. It's funny, often sweet, and weird!
Honestly, I struggled reading this book as I tried wrapping my head around this world and its characters. This book is weird to the point that it can easily distract you from the story. However, I quickly fell in love with the writing and the relationship between the grumpy but lonely and soft witch of Tophet County and her coworker, Chad! Everything is done in such an outlandish way (the Illuminati openly have meetings where seemingly anyone can join and let me not forget about the chicken nugget that speaks) that it is not hard to view this whole book as one piece of satire for the current state of our world.
We don't know the witch's real name because she must keep her identity a secret to remain untouched by the tighter restraints of her contract. She is grumpy and is trying to do everything she can to get fired and break the contract she is bound to for one hundred years and one day (the day irks her, as I am sure it would irk anyone else). The witch surprisingly has a soft spot for her coworker Chad, and despite being the last witch to roam the earth, she wants more than anything to be treated like an actual person. Her and Chad's relationship is surprisingly sweet and normal, going against the curb of the outlandish humor and other relationships presented in this book.
The plot of this book begins with a very straightforward premise: the witch no longer wants to work or be bound to a contract she had to sign when she was six. But as the story goes on, the witch and everyone she has grown to care about is increasingly threatened by an alien race known as the little white men, who crave order and wish to wipe out anything different or chaotic.
The world-building is fantastic! This story involves Archons, a tentacled alien species that uses human body suits, and humans living in a not-so-harmonizing manner. This added to the explanation for the existence of magic and the history of the Archons helps paint a picture of the world these characters live in. The little white men are the antithesis of the chaotic nature in which the humans and Archons live together, helping further explain the nature of this world.
This book is fast-paced and zany and has interesting characters and a premise. I would recommend this book to anyone who loves satires and isn't afraid of being dumped into a weird world where it seems anything and everything is possible.
January 8, 2024
Big Klaatu Berada Necktie Energy
Gleeful Goblin Review: Something that delighted me right from the start is the fact that the author names all the chapters with something fun/descriptive and some of them made me chortle aloud such as Chapter 4: The Sockrifice, Chapter 33: The Community Repository of Torture Implements, and Chapter 38: The Great And Terrible Bearded Clam. That's just comedy gold right there and whet my appetite for what was in store for me. Things only got better from there too; starting with the org charts for Tophet County that give Kate Prior's "Claws & Cubicles" series vibes which I adore.
The opening chapter is a freaking HOOT as someone who loves comedic horror ala Army Of Darkness and this scene gives BIG Klaatu Berada Necktie energy: "Sprinting for the exit would only draw attention, so she forced herself to cross the lobby in a nonchalant stroll. The door was a mere ten feet away when someone grabbed her arm and tugged her to a halt. A burly man in a security guard’s uniform glared up at her. Perfect. Todd the Incredible Asshole. “I’m going to need to search your bag.” The witch crossed her arms, looking down her nose at his freckled bald spot. “Is that so?” “Something triggered the RAYOR room alarm,” he said, hitching up his belt. “You were the only one in there.” That godsd@mned Necronomicon…more like Narconomicon. “Suit yourself.” She jostled her bag as she slid it off her shoulders, startling its occupant into surly wakefulness, and held it out to the uniformed man. Todd hefted the backpack by its padded straps. “Awfully heavy.” Then he loosened the drawstring and peered into the bag. “Gee, I wonder what you’ve got in—” Twenty-one pounds of snarling rage catapulted out of the shadowed depths and latched on to Todd’s face with all three paws. He shrieked and dropped the bag. The witch snatched it, held it open, and whistled to Keyser Söze, who hissed and leaped inside. They’d have to make a run for it."
The books keeps this steady patter of snarky and pop culture style reference humor going throughout and is a riotously good time. 5/5 Stars.
I received a free copy of this book via Podium Team and am voluntarily leaving a review.
Gleeful Goblin Review: Something that delighted me right from the start is the fact that the author names all the chapters with something fun/descriptive and some of them made me chortle aloud such as Chapter 4: The Sockrifice, Chapter 33: The Community Repository of Torture Implements, and Chapter 38: The Great And Terrible Bearded Clam. That's just comedy gold right there and whet my appetite for what was in store for me. Things only got better from there too; starting with the org charts for Tophet County that give Kate Prior's "Claws & Cubicles" series vibes which I adore.
The opening chapter is a freaking HOOT as someone who loves comedic horror ala Army Of Darkness and this scene gives BIG Klaatu Berada Necktie energy: "Sprinting for the exit would only draw attention, so she forced herself to cross the lobby in a nonchalant stroll. The door was a mere ten feet away when someone grabbed her arm and tugged her to a halt. A burly man in a security guard’s uniform glared up at her. Perfect. Todd the Incredible Asshole. “I’m going to need to search your bag.” The witch crossed her arms, looking down her nose at his freckled bald spot. “Is that so?” “Something triggered the RAYOR room alarm,” he said, hitching up his belt. “You were the only one in there.” That godsd@mned Necronomicon…more like Narconomicon. “Suit yourself.” She jostled her bag as she slid it off her shoulders, startling its occupant into surly wakefulness, and held it out to the uniformed man. Todd hefted the backpack by its padded straps. “Awfully heavy.” Then he loosened the drawstring and peered into the bag. “Gee, I wonder what you’ve got in—” Twenty-one pounds of snarling rage catapulted out of the shadowed depths and latched on to Todd’s face with all three paws. He shrieked and dropped the bag. The witch snatched it, held it open, and whistled to Keyser Söze, who hissed and leaped inside. They’d have to make a run for it."
The books keeps this steady patter of snarky and pop culture style reference humor going throughout and is a riotously good time. 5/5 Stars.
I received a free copy of this book via Podium Team and am voluntarily leaving a review.
January 17, 2024
Gleeful Goblin Review: Something that delighted me right from the start is the fact that the author names all the chapters with something fun/descriptive and some of them made me chortle aloud such as Chapter 4: The Sockrifice or Chapter 38: The Great And Terrible Bearded Clam. That's just comedy gold right there and whet my appetite for what was in store for me. Things only got better from there too; starting with the org charts for Tophet County that give Kate Prior's "Claws & Cubicles" series vibes which I adore.
The opening chapter is a freaking HOOT as someone who loves comedic horror ala Army Of Darkness and this scene gives BIG Klaatu Berada Necktie energy: "Sprinting for the exit would only draw attention, so she forced herself to cross the lobby in a nonchalant stroll. The door was a mere ten feet away when someone grabbed her arm and tugged her to a halt. A burly man in a security guard’s uniform glared up at her. Perfect. Todd the Incredible A$$hole. “I’m going to need to search your bag.” The witch crossed her arms, looking down her nose at his freckled bald spot. “Is that so?” “Something triggered the RAYOR room alarm,” he said, hitching up his belt. “You were the only one in there.” That godsd@mned Necronomicon…more like Narconomicon. “Suit yourself.” She jostled her bag as she slid it off her shoulders, startling its occupant into surly wakefulness, and held it out to the uniformed man. Todd hefted the backpack by its padded straps. “Awfully heavy.” Then he loosened the drawstring and peered into the bag. “Gee, I wonder what you’ve got in—” Twenty-one pounds of snarling rage catapulted out of the shadowed depths and latched on to Todd’s face with all three paws. He shrieked and dropped the bag. The witch snatched it, held it open, and whistled to Keyser Söze, who hissed and leaped inside. They’d have to make a run for it."
The books keeps this steady patter of snarky and pop culture style reference humor going throughout and is a riotously good time. 5/5 Stars
The opening chapter is a freaking HOOT as someone who loves comedic horror ala Army Of Darkness and this scene gives BIG Klaatu Berada Necktie energy: "Sprinting for the exit would only draw attention, so she forced herself to cross the lobby in a nonchalant stroll. The door was a mere ten feet away when someone grabbed her arm and tugged her to a halt. A burly man in a security guard’s uniform glared up at her. Perfect. Todd the Incredible A$$hole. “I’m going to need to search your bag.” The witch crossed her arms, looking down her nose at his freckled bald spot. “Is that so?” “Something triggered the RAYOR room alarm,” he said, hitching up his belt. “You were the only one in there.” That godsd@mned Necronomicon…more like Narconomicon. “Suit yourself.” She jostled her bag as she slid it off her shoulders, startling its occupant into surly wakefulness, and held it out to the uniformed man. Todd hefted the backpack by its padded straps. “Awfully heavy.” Then he loosened the drawstring and peered into the bag. “Gee, I wonder what you’ve got in—” Twenty-one pounds of snarling rage catapulted out of the shadowed depths and latched on to Todd’s face with all three paws. He shrieked and dropped the bag. The witch snatched it, held it open, and whistled to Keyser Söze, who hissed and leaped inside. They’d have to make a run for it."
The books keeps this steady patter of snarky and pop culture style reference humor going throughout and is a riotously good time. 5/5 Stars
April 9, 2024
Leaving a job you hate is even worse when cosmic horrors are your superiors…
The Witch of Tophet County: A Comedy of Horrors by J. H. Schiller is a workplace drama with shades of eldritch horror, office politics, and world ending threats…
Witch (just Witch, no names) is the county witch. She hates her job, but her contract was signed under duress, and she’s been trying to find a loophole out of it ever sense. Unfortunately, when dealing with cosmic beings as your bosses and coworkers, it’s tough to keep your intentions secret.
Great Old Ones conquered the world, but rather than eradicating human civilization…they just subsumed it, and now they hold most of the leadership positions. Now, the city politics of Toohet County are still fairly the same, but with unpronounceable names and bosses that might bite your head off if you displease them.
Witch’s efforts to sow a little chaos (the closest thing she can have to fun when not pursuing her personal freedom) leads to unexpected election changes…and her own private investigations and meddling causing a slight shift in her own power dynamic.
Unfortunately, the disappearance of one of the Archons (titles for the cosmic horror entities that hold most of the positions) and her promotion to a new job she doesn’t want (she was less job not more job) also puts her on the trail of a mystery plaguing the inhuman abominations that have subjugated humanity through minutiae and paperwork.
Does she even want to find out what’s happening? Would something getting rid of the archons be better than the present situation?
It’s really hard to describe it but thing of a world similar to Neal Gaiman’s A Study in Emerald mixed with the cartoon Ugly Americans…but set in small town Americana with humans living and working side by side with deep ones, night gaunts, and other indescribable things…
The story doesn’t just draw from HP Lovecraft but also Arthur Machen, Robert Chambers, and August Derleth.
Highly recommend for the humor, world building, and interesting plot…
The Witch of Tophet County: A Comedy of Horrors by J. H. Schiller is a workplace drama with shades of eldritch horror, office politics, and world ending threats…
Witch (just Witch, no names) is the county witch. She hates her job, but her contract was signed under duress, and she’s been trying to find a loophole out of it ever sense. Unfortunately, when dealing with cosmic beings as your bosses and coworkers, it’s tough to keep your intentions secret.
Great Old Ones conquered the world, but rather than eradicating human civilization…they just subsumed it, and now they hold most of the leadership positions. Now, the city politics of Toohet County are still fairly the same, but with unpronounceable names and bosses that might bite your head off if you displease them.
Witch’s efforts to sow a little chaos (the closest thing she can have to fun when not pursuing her personal freedom) leads to unexpected election changes…and her own private investigations and meddling causing a slight shift in her own power dynamic.
Unfortunately, the disappearance of one of the Archons (titles for the cosmic horror entities that hold most of the positions) and her promotion to a new job she doesn’t want (she was less job not more job) also puts her on the trail of a mystery plaguing the inhuman abominations that have subjugated humanity through minutiae and paperwork.
Does she even want to find out what’s happening? Would something getting rid of the archons be better than the present situation?
It’s really hard to describe it but thing of a world similar to Neal Gaiman’s A Study in Emerald mixed with the cartoon Ugly Americans…but set in small town Americana with humans living and working side by side with deep ones, night gaunts, and other indescribable things…
The story doesn’t just draw from HP Lovecraft but also Arthur Machen, Robert Chambers, and August Derleth.
Highly recommend for the humor, world building, and interesting plot…
July 25, 2024
The Witch of Tophet County is a Lovecraftian comedy that touches on finding family in unexpected places, and learning how to be a friend, between the tentacles.
The Witch is a smart, take no BS, rebel, that cares for no one's feelings if they annoy her (and everyone annoys her) who is trapped in a contract with Lovecraftian monsters that she would really rather not be in. Her only friend is her raccoon familiar who is just as prone to chaos as she is. When she starts being forced to interfere in matters of upper government outside of her own post she is in for meeting new people, finding more chaos than she wanted or expected in Tophet County.
This world itself in very well built out with cults galore, and plenty of humor filled jokes about what counts as a cult in the real world, to the techmonacers melding tech and Lovecraft lore, to the well-placed references to Lovecraft's rather dismal beliefs. It feels like a living breathing world with fun places to see and people to meet, and delivers on both throwing us into some interesting situations along the way.
Overall I would recommend this novel to you if you like:
- Murder mysteries that are set in interesting worlds
- Lighthearted humor based Lovecraft
- Light reads that have you laughing
- Books that hook you in and keep you turning the pages way past bed time
I received an advance review copy of this book, and I am leaving this review voluntarily and all thoughts and opinions are wholly my own and unbiased.
The Witch is a smart, take no BS, rebel, that cares for no one's feelings if they annoy her (and everyone annoys her) who is trapped in a contract with Lovecraftian monsters that she would really rather not be in. Her only friend is her raccoon familiar who is just as prone to chaos as she is. When she starts being forced to interfere in matters of upper government outside of her own post she is in for meeting new people, finding more chaos than she wanted or expected in Tophet County.
This world itself in very well built out with cults galore, and plenty of humor filled jokes about what counts as a cult in the real world, to the techmonacers melding tech and Lovecraft lore, to the well-placed references to Lovecraft's rather dismal beliefs. It feels like a living breathing world with fun places to see and people to meet, and delivers on both throwing us into some interesting situations along the way.
Overall I would recommend this novel to you if you like:
- Murder mysteries that are set in interesting worlds
- Lighthearted humor based Lovecraft
- Light reads that have you laughing
- Books that hook you in and keep you turning the pages way past bed time
I received an advance review copy of this book, and I am leaving this review voluntarily and all thoughts and opinions are wholly my own and unbiased.
January 9, 2024
Come for the tentacles; stay because you (somehow) love the Witch and want her to succeed despite her (many) shortcomings and sharp edges!
The titular, nameless Witch is caustic, foul-mouthed, lazy, borderline amoral, and possessed of a fabulous collection of ratty T-shirts. Also, she's hilarious and strangely sympathetic; ditto for her brownie-craving three-legged racoon familiar Keyser Soze (lol). Supporting characters from Chad the IT geek to the Archons (ancient eldritch horrors serving as petty county bureacrats) are vividly drawn, and deeper that you probably expect from the opening chapters.
The writing style is in the breezy satiric vein of a Douglas Adams, Terry Pratchett, or Charlie Stross, perfectly pitched for the story. The worldbuilding and magic system are wholly original, internally consistent, and essential to the plot -- a rare trifecta.
And the story plot itself is a delightful roller-coaster ride. It's easy to describe as "Lovecraftian horror set in The Office or Parks & Rec", but that actually downplays how much is going on here. The Witch is faced with serious personal and cosmic stakes, very little about the world is as it first seems, and there are a LOT of moving parts. So pay very close attention!
Just a delightful blend of fantasy + horror + satire. Recommended!
The titular, nameless Witch is caustic, foul-mouthed, lazy, borderline amoral, and possessed of a fabulous collection of ratty T-shirts. Also, she's hilarious and strangely sympathetic; ditto for her brownie-craving three-legged racoon familiar Keyser Soze (lol). Supporting characters from Chad the IT geek to the Archons (ancient eldritch horrors serving as petty county bureacrats) are vividly drawn, and deeper that you probably expect from the opening chapters.
The writing style is in the breezy satiric vein of a Douglas Adams, Terry Pratchett, or Charlie Stross, perfectly pitched for the story. The worldbuilding and magic system are wholly original, internally consistent, and essential to the plot -- a rare trifecta.
And the story plot itself is a delightful roller-coaster ride. It's easy to describe as "Lovecraftian horror set in The Office or Parks & Rec", but that actually downplays how much is going on here. The Witch is faced with serious personal and cosmic stakes, very little about the world is as it first seems, and there are a LOT of moving parts. So pay very close attention!
Just a delightful blend of fantasy + horror + satire. Recommended!
December 31, 2023
This book is absolutely phenomenal! As a huge (and I mean all-caps huge) fan of Douglas Adams, Tom Holt and Terry Pratchett, a book that elegantly combines their strongest tropes and style of humour while spawning a new evolution of crossover comedy chaosis an exceptional delight to read. Epic delight in fact
An urban fantasy/ sci-fi crossoverwith a powerful wit and hilarious vernacular had me chuckling and howling with laughter in equal measure from page one
The job titles and associated characters are genius and well-crafted, the character development well-executed and all interspersed with an entertaining plot line.
Favourite supporting character has to be the three-legged raccoon Keyzer Soze and and the ever-tormented Chad the IT guy. The witch starts out brittle, snarky and bitter but affable nd warms up throughout
There is so much to enjoy in this book, across multiple genres and is certainly a new author and series to add to the physical bookshelves as a new collection to treasure. It is sure to appeal across a multitude of genres and to a litany of different tastes.
Absolutely outstanding and a winner for me
I received a free copy of this book via Podium Team and am voluntarily leaving a review.
An urban fantasy/ sci-fi crossoverwith a powerful wit and hilarious vernacular had me chuckling and howling with laughter in equal measure from page one
The job titles and associated characters are genius and well-crafted, the character development well-executed and all interspersed with an entertaining plot line.
Favourite supporting character has to be the three-legged raccoon Keyzer Soze and and the ever-tormented Chad the IT guy. The witch starts out brittle, snarky and bitter but affable nd warms up throughout
There is so much to enjoy in this book, across multiple genres and is certainly a new author and series to add to the physical bookshelves as a new collection to treasure. It is sure to appeal across a multitude of genres and to a litany of different tastes.
Absolutely outstanding and a winner for me
I received a free copy of this book via Podium Team and am voluntarily leaving a review.
December 4, 2023
I don't write many reviews as I'm terrible at writing, (this took me hours but it is worth it), fortunately for us J.H. Schiller is not!
Imagine a world where the cosmic horrors have come through. But rather than eating everyone*, the Archons took over the world... but did so by merging into and assimilating the bureaucracy. With all the horrors that entails.
What's a Witch to do when she is stuck in a contract to serve them as The Witch? When someone starts making Archons disappear, The Witch is tasked with figuring out whodunnit. And worse, attending meetings to report!
Will she be able to find a way to void the contract and gain her freedom, or is she doomed be a tortured soul for the rest of her life working the the County bureaucracy? Could she be able to use the perpetrators to break the contract, or will she bring them to justice?
A funny story of the multidimensional cosmic horrors who are not entirely unlike us and the people who work alongside them, just trying to keep the world turning, and make a living in the office.
* Well, the Sheriff does have an eat first & ask questions later policy, but that's just him, ok?
Imagine a world where the cosmic horrors have come through. But rather than eating everyone*, the Archons took over the world... but did so by merging into and assimilating the bureaucracy. With all the horrors that entails.
What's a Witch to do when she is stuck in a contract to serve them as The Witch? When someone starts making Archons disappear, The Witch is tasked with figuring out whodunnit. And worse, attending meetings to report!
Will she be able to find a way to void the contract and gain her freedom, or is she doomed be a tortured soul for the rest of her life working the the County bureaucracy? Could she be able to use the perpetrators to break the contract, or will she bring them to justice?
A funny story of the multidimensional cosmic horrors who are not entirely unlike us and the people who work alongside them, just trying to keep the world turning, and make a living in the office.
* Well, the Sheriff does have an eat first & ask questions later policy, but that's just him, ok?
January 15, 2024
Laugh out loud, hilarious fantasy. The official witch of Tophet County (the only living witch in the world) isn't too happy with her lifelong contract. The Lovecraftian monsters finally took control of the world, and she's forced to be part of their council. When a mysterious enemy shows up and begins taking out some of the most powerful Archons, the witch is their sole hope. Unfortunately she'll have to actually make friends along the way, even with some of the dreaded chthonic overlords.
This was such a fun read. I love the premise of bureaucratic monsters. Feels like an oxymoron, and leads to so much hilarity. The witch works perfectly as a main character. She's tough, quite OP, but happens to work for literal monsters who can drive a person insane with a single glance. The entire cast of characters was fantastic. The story is engaging and even got me a bit emotional at the end. Definitely recommend. Can't wait to see more of this world.
I received a free copy of this book via Podium Team and am voluntarily leaving a review.
This was such a fun read. I love the premise of bureaucratic monsters. Feels like an oxymoron, and leads to so much hilarity. The witch works perfectly as a main character. She's tough, quite OP, but happens to work for literal monsters who can drive a person insane with a single glance. The entire cast of characters was fantastic. The story is engaging and even got me a bit emotional at the end. Definitely recommend. Can't wait to see more of this world.
I received a free copy of this book via Podium Team and am voluntarily leaving a review.
December 30, 2023
NetGalley sent me this book. You know what that means...review time!
The Witch of Tophet County is a comedic, supernatural, mystery kinda book. It is very much in the vein of early Christopher Moore and all-eras A. Lee Martinez.
The eponynous Witch, whose real name is well-hidden from her Archonic overlords, is trying to get out of a contract, drink a lot of booze, enjoy the escapades of her raccoon familiar, and torture an IT guy named Chad. Then there's a whole thing where she maybe has to save the world.
Talking about the plot of this book would defeat the purpose. Instead I will say that this was a fun time with lots of plots and a group of characters when ended up being very well written indeed. It took me a little while to get into this book, but I am glad I took that time because the end was a satisfying romp.
I look forward to reading more from this author in the future.
The Witch of Tophet County is a comedic, supernatural, mystery kinda book. It is very much in the vein of early Christopher Moore and all-eras A. Lee Martinez.
The eponynous Witch, whose real name is well-hidden from her Archonic overlords, is trying to get out of a contract, drink a lot of booze, enjoy the escapades of her raccoon familiar, and torture an IT guy named Chad. Then there's a whole thing where she maybe has to save the world.
Talking about the plot of this book would defeat the purpose. Instead I will say that this was a fun time with lots of plots and a group of characters when ended up being very well written indeed. It took me a little while to get into this book, but I am glad I took that time because the end was a satisfying romp.
I look forward to reading more from this author in the future.
November 29, 2023
A very fun take on the Lovecraftian mythos, where someone is murdering the Archeons and a very unwilling which is appointed to investigate.
This novel is in the line of Jasper Fford with thorough world-building, and with it's crazy, seemingly chaotic universe slowly unravelling a very well crafted meaningful plot that leaves you oh-so-very-satisfied. The characters are quirky and utterly loveable, many situations are hilarious and everything has it's place - it's very cleverly done.
This is one of those books where you read every word carefully, so it's slower going, but I just couldn't put it down. I did figure out pretty early on what the twists were going to be, but I really wanted to see it all unravel because the main character is just so much chaotic fun. Would love to read more with her and all the merry band.
This novel is in the line of Jasper Fford with thorough world-building, and with it's crazy, seemingly chaotic universe slowly unravelling a very well crafted meaningful plot that leaves you oh-so-very-satisfied. The characters are quirky and utterly loveable, many situations are hilarious and everything has it's place - it's very cleverly done.
This is one of those books where you read every word carefully, so it's slower going, but I just couldn't put it down. I did figure out pretty early on what the twists were going to be, but I really wanted to see it all unravel because the main character is just so much chaotic fun. Would love to read more with her and all the merry band.
January 15, 2024
Once I opened this book, I could not put it down! Fast-paced and engaging, I found myself wanting to read faster just to get to the next page.
It starts with Witch, (who hides her real name in old mayo jars ) forced to work a job that she hates and looking for a way out. But she somehow manages to get promoted! I absolutely loved her and can only hope to achieve her level of snark and sarcasm in another life. She is surrounded by a host of other characters ranging from technomancer Chad to the Dread Lord of HR to Heather, the MLM maven turned mayor (and Chad’s ex-wife!) that have a love/hate relationship with one another and shines a new light on workplace and local politics. Throw in a cast of eldritch-like beings and monsters with the occasional odd human thrown in the mix and add a story of missing IT directors, embezzlement, little white men, cults and plans of world domination and you have a recipe for a best-seller! I can’t wait for the next one!.
I received a free copy of this book via Podium Team and am voluntarily leaving a review.
It starts with Witch, (who hides her real name in old mayo jars ) forced to work a job that she hates and looking for a way out. But she somehow manages to get promoted! I absolutely loved her and can only hope to achieve her level of snark and sarcasm in another life. She is surrounded by a host of other characters ranging from technomancer Chad to the Dread Lord of HR to Heather, the MLM maven turned mayor (and Chad’s ex-wife!) that have a love/hate relationship with one another and shines a new light on workplace and local politics. Throw in a cast of eldritch-like beings and monsters with the occasional odd human thrown in the mix and add a story of missing IT directors, embezzlement, little white men, cults and plans of world domination and you have a recipe for a best-seller! I can’t wait for the next one!.
I received a free copy of this book via Podium Team and am voluntarily leaving a review.
Read
January 24, 2024Read this as an ARC, and wow was this book a complete fever dream. I might be LESS likely to read Lovecraft now than I was when I started, because I didn't realize the amount of quantum physics I'd need to know.
The Witch (self-explanatory) has a government grunt job she hates and is constantly trying to figure out how to get out of her magical contract so she can go live her own life. When she inadvertently gets a human elected as mayor on a lark, strange things start happening, and the Witch finds herself growing closer to both the humans and archons (who seem to be weird alien overlords) around her.
Not going to lie, I retained very little of this book, but it was so kooky that I had to finish. The ironic statements on stay at home moms and MLM culture were very funny. I just honestly couldn't keep up with the major plot points. I do, however, want a pet raccoon now.
The Witch (self-explanatory) has a government grunt job she hates and is constantly trying to figure out how to get out of her magical contract so she can go live her own life. When she inadvertently gets a human elected as mayor on a lark, strange things start happening, and the Witch finds herself growing closer to both the humans and archons (who seem to be weird alien overlords) around her.
Not going to lie, I retained very little of this book, but it was so kooky that I had to finish. The ironic statements on stay at home moms and MLM culture were very funny. I just honestly couldn't keep up with the major plot points. I do, however, want a pet raccoon now.
February 20, 2024
Zany comedy books are RIGHT up my alley (my NetAlley even...) I love that the writer took all of my favorite things, shook them up in a cocktail shaker and pored me a tasty tall book with this one.
I mean, if you're not turned away by reading the synopsis, then you're like me and you'll probably laugh, cry, and look around to see if people are watching you read this book, because at times it gets to all of those points.
The FMC is delightfully snarky and witty (and never wants to reveal her name to you) and deals with all of the nonsense the world is throwing at her. I was rolling from the beginning of this book and couldn't put it down. If you're a fan of books like Assistant to the Villain or Murder Your Employer, this is a definite add to your list.
Thank you NetGalley for this copy for my honest opinion!
I mean, if you're not turned away by reading the synopsis, then you're like me and you'll probably laugh, cry, and look around to see if people are watching you read this book, because at times it gets to all of those points.
The FMC is delightfully snarky and witty (and never wants to reveal her name to you) and deals with all of the nonsense the world is throwing at her. I was rolling from the beginning of this book and couldn't put it down. If you're a fan of books like Assistant to the Villain or Murder Your Employer, this is a definite add to your list.
Thank you NetGalley for this copy for my honest opinion!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 66 reviews