You'll Make It (and They Will Too): Everything No One Talks About When You're Parenting Teens

by Amy Betters-Midtvedt

A lifeline of hope for parents of teens who feel adrift on the real and raw parenting journey, presented with wisdom and faith—and a touch of candid humor—from seasoned educator, mother, and Today Parenting contributor Amy Betters-Midtvedt.

“Parenting teens doesn’t come with a manual, but this book comes as close to one as I’ve ever read.”—New York Times bestselling author Rachel Macy Stafford

As a mom with five kids ages twelve to twenty-two living at home, Amy Betters-Midtvedt found that parenting teens challenged everything she thought it meant to be a “good” mom. But in the unraveling came the building of something new and more beautiful than she could have an incredible sense of love, hope, joy, and relationship—even in the mess.

You'll Make It (and They Will Too) is as much about navigating the minefields of anxiety and mental health as it is setting curfews, convincing kids to bring their dishes back to the kitchen, and deciding whose turn it is to have the car keys. It’s about dancing in the kitchen with soon-to-be adult kids who are taller than you. It’s making appointments with a therapist and a college admissions counselor in the same week. It’s helping your kids cling to faith even as they reject the pew on Sunday mornings.

Through stories steeped in hope and prayer of both her professional and personal parenting journey, Amy

• words of comfort for when you feel alone, together with wisdom and strategies that will help you to not just survive the sleepless nights, but also to thrive as a stronger family unit
• prayers to draw on God’s strength when everything feels overwhelming
• a path forward with your teenagers that brings you into a lifelong loving relationship
• ways to celebrate the beauty in your teens in all that they are, just as God made them

Each chapter will leave you equipped, encouraged, and less alone by guiding you through how to listen to your own heart when parenting your precious teen.

Genres: Nonfiction, Parenting

208 pages, Paperback

Published August 6, 2024

Reviews

[Sherry Bendorf · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this parenting book. I struggle to read any kind of non fiction book, but this one I relished every minute of it. I think, perhaps, this is because it is so relevant to the place I am right now with my daughter. I liked the personal stories that the author shared and also the quick summary and prayer at the end of each chapter. I have so many quotes underlined in my kindle copy. I will be going back to this again and again. I highly recommend it to anyone with teenagers. It doesn't matter if you have a small family or a large family. the advice given is good for both.

I will be reading more from this author. Thanks to Netgalley for the e-arc of the book. This is my honest review.

[Jackie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I appreciated the author’s honesty and humor in this book. I think it was encouraging and felt like a friend sharing stories over coffee. I probably take a bit of a harder stance on some things like modesty and dating but overall I still thought it was a book I’d recommend. Her main theme was just take everything to the Lord in prayer and not worry or push our kids into what WE want them to be.

[Jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

I would do 4.5 or 5 stars. Thanks to Netgalley for the ARC! I’m always looking for parenting books and listening to podcasts and googling things about parenting, especially ones about teens lately as I’m in the thick of it with my oldest two kids right now (and my youngest getting there in a few years). I know that no books can tell you exactly what to do, but getting some guidance and wisdom and personal stories to relate to always helps. Bonus if I can find something that is faith-based. This book seemed to check all the boxes from the description which made me snag it, and I really did enjoy it. The positives for me were stories and examples from the author’s own life as a mom that were relatable and laughable and made me think-thank goodness we aren’t the only family experiencing this! I’m also a teacher and tend to relate what I do with my kids at home to kids in class and vice versa, so it was nice to have that in common. I loved some of her ways of thinking and describing things (relating kids in birth order to pancakes-so completely legit) and have found myself sharing some things from the book with other moms in chats. I also found she covered a lot of the main areas of parenting teens, like friends and chores, etc., and each chapter was organized the same way and ended with a prayer. I do not feel that someone who isn’t religious will be turned off, though, as faith wasn’t super prominent as there are no scripture references in here, mostly just a keep praying vibe. The things I wish were a little stronger would be her credentials. I understand she’s a writer and educator, but it seems like a lot of what she’s sharing is what she’s researched and done with her own kids with not much to back it. It’s relatable bc she’s learning as she goes, but I guess I was expecting someone with a counseling degree or psychology or something like that? Like sections where it talks about mental health, she says to make sure to check in on kids and take it seriously and rely on therapy, which are good things, just not more than something I already know. I do kind of wish there was more faith-based info in here, but I see how this appeals more to the masses without too much being in there. Overall, I truly enjoyed it and am planning to get a copy and try to find it in audio for my husband if it’s available and have already shared the title with friends I thought would like it. I see value in this and feel it’s good for parents of teens to feel they’re not alone and maybe even parents inching into the teen years to see what’s coming ahead. It was good for a laugh here and there as well because you HAVE to laugh when parenting teens! It’s helpful and valuable and one I do recommend.

[Crystal Swafford · Rating 4 out of 5]

My favorite thing is that there is a sweet and appropriate prayer for each section. The first 80% of the book feels like a chat with a friend, with some tips and humor. I love how the book really spans parenting from tweens into young adults and beyond. The author’s expertise speaks volumes. The most impactful section is the chapter on mental health, because I agree, no one talks about that at all. There are some tips that were/are especially helpful to me, such as using discipline on a young teen like when that child was a toddler; parenting doesn’t end at 18; and the concept of not the independent western view, but embracing a village concept to care for each other.

[Sara Siegesmund · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amy wrote an amazing book that has real life, doable, easy tips and tricks for getting through the turbulent teen years. And it's so easy to read!
With 19 years as a school counselor, helping parents navigate the ups and downs is a big part of what I do. Not only did this validate what I share, but also gave me some new ideas.
As an added bonus, I'll be able to reference this as I journey along with my own 13 year old.

[Kassy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a great read. It is so relatable as I raise my 11 & 14 year old daughters. Every chapter is structured the same with information about what we can do and what we can’t do. There are many stories peppered throughout, some that made me laugh and some that made me tear up. The chapters are short and sweet, the perfect lunch hour read.

[Nicky Owens · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve followed Amy Betters-Midtvedt on Facebook for a while now, and have appreciated and related to all of her insights on what it is like to raise teenagers. If reading Amy’s posts were like grabbing a cup of coffee with a good friend, reading You’ll Make It feels like a girls’ weekend away! Every word rang true, and I giggled and cried, and most importantly, felt comforted and uplifted that I was not alone in all of these things that go along with raising bigger kids.

[Sarah Wood · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic book on raising tweens and teens. Practical tips, encouragement and wisdom. I can’t recommend enough! 5 stars.

[Jackie Warren · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a delight! Honest and funny, relatable and applicable to many.

[Lori · Rating 5 out of 5]

Any does s great job of making her stories and parenting advise relatable. At the end of each chapter she had a recap and a prayer. If you have teenagers, check out this book.

[Christy Sprotte · Rating 5 out of 5]

Parenting teens? This is a must read!

As a newly minted Mom of a tween, Amy’s book will be a guidebook for me for many years to come! Amy writes with humor, heart, and sincerity, and you’ll find yourself nodding along as she shares relatable stories and practical tips about parenting during the dreaded teen years. Amy also beautifully infuses her faith into her writing. This book is a must read if you’re in the trenches of parenting a tween or teen.

[Michelle Cleary · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really wish there was a version of this book that had all the religious stuff pulled out. As someone who is not religious I felt those aspects to be extremely polarizing. And there is SO much good advice in this book- if you can just skip over all the Jesus stuff like I did you will find some truly amazing advice that I have personally already started using. This book has provided so much validation to me in a very hard time.

My advice to readers is this. If you have a teenager or are about to, read this book. If you’re a Christian person, maybe you’ll find these parts helpful. If this is not your religion or if you’re just not religious- skip to the next page/ paragraph when the Jesus stuff starts. Don’t let it deter you from the actual great advice this author gives

To the publisher - please publish a non religious version of this book and you’ll appeal to a much broader audience

[Debbie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amy Betters-Midtvedt knows her stuff! The educator and mother of five has written words that are golden to parents. This book is great for those in the trenches of raising teens, but also a priceless read to moms and dads who are just approaching those years with their children. She's open and honest about the difficulties they've experienced on their own parenting journey, but also gives thoughtful, helpful, brilliant advice that allows parents to feel hope and peace throughout what can sometimes be tumultuous times. Reading these pages gave me a greater understanding that what is ultimately most important is the bond and relationship between myself and my kids and that discipline is meaningless without it. She also gives the tools to strengthen and repair what may be strained. I highly recommend this book to all parents!

[Heidi Morrell · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a very insightful Spiritual Growth book. As of this review, our children's ages range from 16 to almost 24. Most of the content in this book was helpful, and I have already seen needed changes in myself as a Mom. I learned so much, and as I continue growing my relationships with my Lord, husband, and teen and adult children, I'm praying that I will be available when I am needed, and will gladly set aside my pursuits for my family! When I'm not needed, I'm learning that it's okay for my blessings to turn to others, and I am getting better at not taking those times personally. "Train up your children in the way they should go... when they are old, they will not depart from it" (Ephesians 6) Highly recommended for parents of children of all ages! I wish this had been available before our first child/blessing entered the teen years.

[Sarah Tachon · Rating 5 out of 5]

For all parents that wonder what happened to their cute little babies that are now tall changing humans. Amy’s writing style is humorous and relatable. She gives important advice for parenting teens and keeping a positive perspective of love, hope, and even joy as we laugh and cry with her stories.
Once I started reading this, I couldn’t put the book down!
My favorite part of the book was her encouragement to talk less and listen more. To meet our children right where they are at. She gives me words and wisdom as a mom of 2 middle school daughters to connect and communicate with them. This is invaluable information and I’m so glad she shares her wisdom. Love following her on social media too!

[Susannah Fuchs · Rating 5 out of 5]

The first thing I really like about this book is that it is so relatable, and I don’t feel like the author is talking down to me, I feel like she is talking to me as if she knows me, and cares about me and my children. The way that the chapters are put together makes them easy to read quickly, and they are full to the brim with useful information about parenting teens. I have bought and read many books about parenting teens, and this one is unique and so truly applicable to reality. I am glad I bought the book, I’m so happy that I follow this author on her social media, and I look forward to her writing another book sometime, since this one very useful, practical, and timely. I highly recommend it.

[Michelle Castaneda · Rating 5 out of 5]

You'll Make It (and They Will Too): Everything No One Talks About When You're Parenting Teens by Amy Betters-Midtvedt is a lifeline for parents of teens. This author writes in an easy to read, relevant manner. She covers so many important topics and really demystifies what it can look like to parent teens well in a God-honoring way. I particularly like how the author writes with great hope. She encourages readers to look for and hope for joy in their relationship with their teens. This difficult transition is just that– a transition. This book is an important read for parents and anyone who works with teens. I received a digital copy of this book from the publisher with no obligations. These opinions are entirely my own.

[Danielle Sherman-Lazar · Rating 5 out of 5]

This one is a must-read even for us parents with kids who are not quite in their teen years yet. I used to be afraid of the teenage years. I was met with, "Oh, just wait," but after reading Amy Better-Midvedt's "You'll Make It (and They Will Too)," I’m far less nervous. Filled with invaluable advice and funny anecdotes, any parent who gets their hands on this book will thank me. Written in the same voice that we have come to love from her social media pages, you'll nod in agreement and feel far less alone. And if you are like me, you will take it all in and feel so much less fearful of the years to come.

[Randi Latzman · Rating 5 out of 5]

My daughter is 12, and I have been filled with fear about her upcoming teenage years. That is, until I read "You'll Make It (and They Will Too). This book is filled with the knowledge, humor, and encouragement that many of us know and love from her social media. It is filled with reassurance
to help parents feel more equipped about teendom. Amy sends a powerful message that parenting isn't about perfection and that mistakes are par for the course. She provides an honest and vulnerable perspective while sharing her own trials and tribulations about parenting her five children. This book is a wealth of knowledge and a breath of fresh air!

[Kimberly Yavorski · Rating 5 out of 5]

YOU'LL MAKE IT (AND THEY WILL TOO), EVERYTHING NO ONE TALKS ABOUT WHEN YOU'RE PARENTING TEENS by Amy Betters-Midtvedt offers comfort and actionable advice to parents baffled by the transition of their charming children into, well, teenagers.

Follows of the author’s Facebook page, “Hiding in the Closet with Coffee” will recognize some of the main characters in the book: her five children who have given her both gray hairs and immense joy. YOU'LL MAKE IT is an honest look at parenting teens that discusses both what we can and cannot do as parents if we want to successful raise children to adulthood and still maintain a loving relationship. Each chapter includes a “cheat sheet” to go back to later (a refresher course, if you will) and ends with a prayer, mostly for protection and guidance.

If you’re looking for a gentle guide to parenting teens, and a book that will make you say, “Really, you too?” this one is worth picking up. While your specific experiences may differ, you will relate to the roller coaster of emotions involved in living with teens and the struggle to find the balance needed to protect our kids while allowing them to grow.

[Kaitlyn · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 stars rounded.

I don’t know how I missed that this was a Christian-centric parenting book, but it came as a surprise to me when I started reading and the author mentioned each chapter would end with a prayer. I skipped all the prayers and paragraphs about god, which was quite a bit in several chapters.

The advice and stories seemed really repetitive after the first few chapters and there’s a total of 15, so it felt like the book could have been much shorter—since it was “really just about love” in the end.

I took what I could from it, but it’s not a parenting book I will keep.

[Kim Truelove · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really loved this book, and I couldn’t have found it
at a better time. We’re right in the middle of many of the challenges it talks about with our teen and preteen, and it helped me realize that we’re not alone — so much of what they’re going through is normal. This is a must-read for anyone raising teens, especially if you value a touch of spirituality. I also appreciate how it’s organized by topic, making it easy to return to specific chapters as they apply. I’m looking forward to putting some of what I learned into practice as I keep working on my relationship with my teens.

[Sydnei Kaplan · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is like having a conversation with Amy!! As a mom and high school teacher, Amy is uniquely positioned to offer insights and wisdom that take many perspectives into consideration. I wish I'd known her when my kids were teens (they are now young and mid 20s) because her experiences and reflections offer so much in the way of guidance and comfort. In this book you'll find truth, humor, reassurance and a whole lot more!

[Jennifer Betters-Bubon · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is filled with so many nuggets of wisdom for parents of tweens, teens and young adults. Not only does Amy know how to tell a story, she does so with humor and compassion. You can almost hear the words coming off of the page-she’s that good. As a therapist, I look forward to recommending that this to clients who are in the “in between”. And I look forward to sharing with so many friends who are experiencing the joys and struggles of parenthood!

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

I will soon be entering the "mom of a teenager" years, and couldn't wait to see what advice Amy would have for me. I was not disappointed! I love the way her family's stories are blended in with her own personal advice of what to do and what not to do. She covers a variety of topics and this book has made me feel more prepared for what's to come. I would recommend it to all moms of tweens and teens.

[Kristin Nelson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wish this book had been written about 10 years earlier! I'm pretty sure I would have reread it a few times. Even with my kids as old as they are (only one teenager left!), I still think I might give it another listen sometime. I like the author's attitude. She doesn't claim to have all the answers, but she tells us what worked in her family. She shares relatable anecdotes with humor and wisdom, and she ends each chapter with a prayer. Short chapters also make this an easy listen!

[Kelsey Scism · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amy Betters-Midtvedt fills the pages with wit and wisdom, humor and humility. Through stories of her own parenting experience, she's been reminding me that parenting is hard and we're not alone in it. If you're in the middle of OR approaching the teenage years of parenting, I highly recommend this book!

[Shannon · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really enjoyed reading this book. Love that the author writes like she's taking to you, provides a summary of her key points each chapter, and a sample prayer. Raising a teenager is challenging at times. This book reminds you that you aren't alone and maybe will give you some ideas of how to love your teenager well.

[Pierrette · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good advice but did not realize how religious the author is! Too many references to the Christianity faith and I had to skip all of the ‘prayer’ pages at the end of each chapter. Author did have some great advice that I found helpful and reassuring. Would’ve rated 4 but really disliked the religious parts.

[Ashley Fratangelo · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really liked this book. I felt like I was talking/listening to a friend. Who also knew what it was like to raise teens and try and try again. It's isolating and hard to raise any kid, teens are a whole different level. This helped me look at things differently as well as come up with other things to try. It does have some mention of religion, nothing too much.