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When Work and Family Collide: Keeping Your Job from Cheating Your Family
Is Your Occupation Also Your Preoccupation? Let's face it. With all the demands of the workplace and all the details of a family it's only a matter of time before one bumps into the other. And many of us end up cheating our families when the commitments of both collide. In this practical book, Andy Stanley will help you... - establish priorities and boundaries to protect what you value most. - learn the difference between saying your family is your priority and actually making them your priority. - discover tested strategies for easing tensions at home and at work. Watch as this powerful book transforms your life from time-crunching craziness to life-changing success.
Paperback
First published December 20, 2011
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About the author
Andy Stanley
276 books839 followersAndy Stanley is the senior pastor of North Point Community Church, Buckhead Church, and Browns Bridge Community Church. He also founded North Point Ministries, which is a worldwide Christian organization.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 55 reviews
July 7, 2018
Another audio-book version that I listened to. This one is short (about three hours) and very much to the point. Though it’s written more for married couples, I still gleaned a lot and have a lot to think about as a single girl. Stanley emphasized, “You’re going to have to cheat somewhere—your job or your family.” He pointed out that one doesn’t retire from home to spend the rest of their life at work; they retire from work to spend the rest of their life at home.
I greatly appreciated how he used Daniel and his decision about the king’s meat as a pattern of how to make wise and right choices. I had never thought of that story of Daniel in quite as much detail as Stanley brought out, so it was very good.
This is a book that I definitely recommend for people who are struggling with the balance of work and family.
I greatly appreciated how he used Daniel and his decision about the king’s meat as a pattern of how to make wise and right choices. I had never thought of that story of Daniel in quite as much detail as Stanley brought out, so it was very good.
This is a book that I definitely recommend for people who are struggling with the balance of work and family.
January 10, 2018
The concept is simple, the execution is tough, but the reward is lifelong.
Stanley's book pushes back against the western priorities developed mostly in the past 50 years of putting work first before everything else by saying things like, "I've seen too many men and women cheat their families only to find that the companies they worked for weren't nearly as loyal to them as they were to the companies. Loyalty in the workplace is rarely reciprocated." (131)
This book does a great job of addressing the issue practically, relationally, and biblically, and then goes on to give a great birds eye view of what a good plan for fixing the issue would look like, challenging cultural assumptions along the way and putting the 1st place trophy for being top priority back into the hands of families.
Stanley's book pushes back against the western priorities developed mostly in the past 50 years of putting work first before everything else by saying things like, "I've seen too many men and women cheat their families only to find that the companies they worked for weren't nearly as loyal to them as they were to the companies. Loyalty in the workplace is rarely reciprocated." (131)
This book does a great job of addressing the issue practically, relationally, and biblically, and then goes on to give a great birds eye view of what a good plan for fixing the issue would look like, challenging cultural assumptions along the way and putting the 1st place trophy for being top priority back into the hands of families.
June 27, 2016
When Work and Family Collide presents a comprehensive strategy for purposely investing more time with your family. Unfortunately, the focus is far too narrow. Stanley seems to be targeting solely career businessmen who have aren't paid an hourly wage. What about those who work the graveyard shift? What about those who are paid hourly, and can't leave whenever they see fit? I don't mean to slight the book, but it would've been beneficial to have a few more chapters addressing different schedules in the workforce.
November 1, 2021
I give this book 5 starts because I cruised through it in one evening and will read it again to highlight key points or poignant quotes. Andy's writing is practical, engaging, and LOL funny, at times. Biggest truth take away: in God's original plan, there was no conflict between work and family. But when sin entered the world, conflict erupted on both fronts. We tend to "love" work and "do" family, when it should be the exact opposite. We love with our time and our actions, not with words or intentions. Priorities are made known by our schedules. Because we will never have enough time to be perfect at both work and home, we must "cheat" one to win at the other. To win at both we need to choose God's principle, then allow Him to fill in any "gaps" left by us loving our families and doing our jobs. We are replaceable at work - by any number of folk , but no one can fill our role at home.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 16, 2022
This book had so many amazing points to it and I can’t wait for my husband to read it! I’ve found myself nodding along to the book so many times. I’ve said 90% of the things Andy Stanley wrote about, wishing my husband would understand that I know he doesn’t *intend* to be late for everything or take phone calls from work at all hours of the day or have to go into the store every single day of the week, I know he doesn’t *intend* to make me feel rejected but that’s what he’s doing. I’m thrilled to hopefully have him fully grasp my side and make some changes to help our marriage. As the book says, at the end of the day, when you’re retired or laid off or whatever it is, you come home to your spouse, not your job. Make sure to cultivate that relationship over your career.
August 5, 2017
Great book every married person who wants to honor God and their family should read this.
Am grateful I got a chance to read this now. Very simple but clear and challenging. Time to make change
Am grateful I got a chance to read this now. Very simple but clear and challenging. Time to make change
January 3, 2021
A must read!
This book is one that everyone should read. Read it from time to time because it reminds you of the importance of priorities. I have read it many times now and still get new insight to be effective on what matter the most. Totally recommend it.
This book is one that everyone should read. Read it from time to time because it reminds you of the importance of priorities. I have read it many times now and still get new insight to be effective on what matter the most. Totally recommend it.
January 1, 2018
Easy read, hard concept
Challenging and thought provoking. Really puts things into perspective. Love your family,do your job, not the other way around. Read it
Challenging and thought provoking. Really puts things into perspective. Love your family,do your job, not the other way around. Read it
January 16, 2018
Excellent
Excellent read for anyone who currently has a family or is considering starting one. It puts the priorities into perspective.
Excellent read for anyone who currently has a family or is considering starting one. It puts the priorities into perspective.
November 28, 2018
Great book! Everyone in ministry and that has a family needs to challenge their schedule against this books ideas. Very challenging.
March 8, 2019
This is a must read book that is trying to help you achieve optimal balance between work and family aligned with your faith.
October 29, 2019
Fast read packed with excellent advice and applicable guidance. Love Andy Stanley. Job well done.
April 29, 2020
this book is challenging and convicting. if your work/family balance feels off, take 2 weeks and read this book. Your family and your life will greatly benefit.
November 21, 2020
A real issue, and helpful insight on the issue.
January 24, 2022
Great practical steps!
January 29, 2022
This book uses biblical principles as to why family should come first and helps you develop a healthy way to set boundaries. Although it is written by a Christian author, non-Christians could also use this information.
April 16, 2022
read this for class, but I actually enjoyed it! had some great, biblical tips about prioritizing your family vs. your work!
August 6, 2022
Quick read. Provides many real life examples to what cheating looks like.
August 18, 2022
This was a helpful confirmation of a lot of what I’ve been feeling with my work + family calendar. If you feel like you need to spend less time working and more time with you’re family, you’re right. ❤️
July 8, 2017
Easily applicable, honest heart check of priorities - a ministry must read.
December 2, 2020
Aimed mostly at men and repetitive, but good concept.
February 14, 2012
http://matichuk.wordpress.com/2012/02...
This is just what I need! A self-help book written by a mega-church pastor! Originally this book was titled Choosing to Cheat because Stanley suggests you have to ‘cheat’ either work or family so you might as well go ahead and decide where your priorities are and ‘cheat’ at your job for the sake of your family. Waterbrook Multnomah wisely retitled this book for this edition to something less provocative. They did the same thing last year with their release of Joshua Harris’s Why Church Matters(previously titled Stop Dating the Church. Sometimes a less ‘sexy’ title goes along way towards countering misunderstandings.
I am deeply suspicious of self-help books and mega-church pastors, and doubly suspicious of mega-church pastors who write self-help books. Add to that, I am out of work. Why would I read a book about family and work? I could just read a book called When Family Collides. This would likely encapsulate my life.
Why did I read this book? While my suspicions aside sometimes mega-church pastors and self-help gurus have some good things to say and you’d be wise to listen. Andy Stanley wrote this book to address the common dynamic experienced in the modern family where commitment to work competes with our being able to give proper attention to our spouse or children. He’s absolutely right. I’ve seen this dynamic in myself. I went through seminary with a full load of classes, two and sometimes three jobs at a time and sometimes, my family got the short end of the stick. A book that addresses this problem is important and has value.
Stanley writes accessibly about the need for us to ‘cheat’ by allocating our limited resource of time, towards what really matters in life (our families). In order to help ease the fears of those of us stuck in the vicious rat race of career pursuits, he describes what Daniel did in Babylon (as in the book of Daniel) when he felt his vocation (enslaved wise-man) but up against his priorities. Instead of eating at the king’s table Daniel confronted the situation with his supervisor, listened to his supervisors concerns and set up a test (10 days no meat) to show that productivity would not be adversely affected. Stanley suggests you should use the same in your workplace (address the issue with supervisor, listen to their concerns and set up a liminal test) where you can limit your hours on the job and spend more time with family. There is wisdom in this approach, but I don’t think that this adequately does justice to Daniel’s situation.
Ultimately I maintain my self-help suspicions of this book. Self help books have some value in helping you overcome problems in your self, enact better self management and grow personally; yet when self-help gets a theological overlay problems emerge. The gospel gets short-shrifted. God’s goal for your life is not that you become more balanced in your vocational and family life so that you have a more satisfying marriage and better kids. God’s purpose is to reconcile you to himself through the work of Jesus Christ. See the problem with a blending of Biblical texts (misused) to illustrate a self-help principle, even one that is sound, we turn God into a means to a better life on our terms. Sure we should be healthier and more balanced in our lives (and there is some wisdom here) but freedom doesn’t come from establishing your priorities and following through, freedom comes when we experience our life (and families) as gift from God, and are set free from the tyranny of the urgent. That is Good news!
This isn’t a total write-off of Andy Stanley. He certainly is a good communicator and an effective minister of the gospel elsewhere, but I don’t think he delivers the goods here. It is an easy read and may be helpful for some people, but it didn’t do it for me. Thank you to Waterbrook Multnomah for providing me with a copy of this book in exchange for this review.
This is just what I need! A self-help book written by a mega-church pastor! Originally this book was titled Choosing to Cheat because Stanley suggests you have to ‘cheat’ either work or family so you might as well go ahead and decide where your priorities are and ‘cheat’ at your job for the sake of your family. Waterbrook Multnomah wisely retitled this book for this edition to something less provocative. They did the same thing last year with their release of Joshua Harris’s Why Church Matters(previously titled Stop Dating the Church. Sometimes a less ‘sexy’ title goes along way towards countering misunderstandings.
I am deeply suspicious of self-help books and mega-church pastors, and doubly suspicious of mega-church pastors who write self-help books. Add to that, I am out of work. Why would I read a book about family and work? I could just read a book called When Family Collides. This would likely encapsulate my life.
Why did I read this book? While my suspicions aside sometimes mega-church pastors and self-help gurus have some good things to say and you’d be wise to listen. Andy Stanley wrote this book to address the common dynamic experienced in the modern family where commitment to work competes with our being able to give proper attention to our spouse or children. He’s absolutely right. I’ve seen this dynamic in myself. I went through seminary with a full load of classes, two and sometimes three jobs at a time and sometimes, my family got the short end of the stick. A book that addresses this problem is important and has value.
Stanley writes accessibly about the need for us to ‘cheat’ by allocating our limited resource of time, towards what really matters in life (our families). In order to help ease the fears of those of us stuck in the vicious rat race of career pursuits, he describes what Daniel did in Babylon (as in the book of Daniel) when he felt his vocation (enslaved wise-man) but up against his priorities. Instead of eating at the king’s table Daniel confronted the situation with his supervisor, listened to his supervisors concerns and set up a test (10 days no meat) to show that productivity would not be adversely affected. Stanley suggests you should use the same in your workplace (address the issue with supervisor, listen to their concerns and set up a liminal test) where you can limit your hours on the job and spend more time with family. There is wisdom in this approach, but I don’t think that this adequately does justice to Daniel’s situation.
Ultimately I maintain my self-help suspicions of this book. Self help books have some value in helping you overcome problems in your self, enact better self management and grow personally; yet when self-help gets a theological overlay problems emerge. The gospel gets short-shrifted. God’s goal for your life is not that you become more balanced in your vocational and family life so that you have a more satisfying marriage and better kids. God’s purpose is to reconcile you to himself through the work of Jesus Christ. See the problem with a blending of Biblical texts (misused) to illustrate a self-help principle, even one that is sound, we turn God into a means to a better life on our terms. Sure we should be healthier and more balanced in our lives (and there is some wisdom here) but freedom doesn’t come from establishing your priorities and following through, freedom comes when we experience our life (and families) as gift from God, and are set free from the tyranny of the urgent. That is Good news!
This isn’t a total write-off of Andy Stanley. He certainly is a good communicator and an effective minister of the gospel elsewhere, but I don’t think he delivers the goods here. It is an easy read and may be helpful for some people, but it didn’t do it for me. Thank you to Waterbrook Multnomah for providing me with a copy of this book in exchange for this review.
April 13, 2012
- I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review. –
Struggling to find a balance between work and family is a difficult position to be in, regardless of whether you're white collar or blue collar (or even a stay at home/work at home parent), and with a husband who works third shift I was intensely interested in some help with finding the kind of balance the author speaks of in this book.
We are told, on page three, that this book "is about establishing priorities. A priority is something you put ahead of something else. A priority is something you say yes to even when it means saying no to other important things." The goal, then, is to not let work cheat your family by becoming a higher priority.
One part of the book I deeply appreciated was the comparison to the emotional load one feels when one feels, well, cheated, to having to hold onto a heavy rock all by oneself, as well as the idea of the exhaustion factor - the feeling as though you just can't hold on any longer to this heavy burden you've been left to carry all on your own. This doesn't have to refer simply to the ability to stay in the relationship - at least while I was reading the chapter it really hit home in a different way. There's no way I can imagine not being able to hold on to my husband, but I can relate to the exhaustion of holding on to other emotional strains and burdens while trying to make our relationship work, and just feeling like I can't take it anymore, wanting to beg my husband to find another way to prioritize and organize our life together because the load feels too heavy, like I'm carrying it on my own because of the way he works (and sleeps, because of being on third shift) makes him so unavailable when it comes to the way I need for our family to function. I guess I'm just trying to say that I understand feeling "cheated...."
Anyway, the first section of this book relates to looking into relationships that have been tested because of feeling "cheated" - the emotions and struggles of the person feeling cheated, the way it can come between people, the need to be aware of the "vital signs" of the relationship and family....And then the second section pertains to coming up with a "strategy for change" - making up your mind in terms of priorities, making a plan to try to do better, testing the plan, etc, etc.
It's a short, quick read - I read it in one sitting, though there are discussion questions in the back of the book set up so that people can read it in a four week "course." I felt that this book did well to show both sides of the coin - how difficult it is to be both the person feeling "cheated" and the person doing the "cheating", and I would recommend it to anyone striving for more balance in their life, or anyone who feels as though their spouse should.
I'll bring this review to a close with the quote I feel most sums up this book:
"Don't cheat the people who love you most. Don't cheat the person who's looking forward to spending the rest of his or her life with you. Don't cheat yourself of the peace that comes with knowing you're squarely in the will of the One who created you. Don't cheat your kids of the security that comes with knowing that they're Mommy and Daddy's priorities." (page 132)
Struggling to find a balance between work and family is a difficult position to be in, regardless of whether you're white collar or blue collar (or even a stay at home/work at home parent), and with a husband who works third shift I was intensely interested in some help with finding the kind of balance the author speaks of in this book.
We are told, on page three, that this book "is about establishing priorities. A priority is something you put ahead of something else. A priority is something you say yes to even when it means saying no to other important things." The goal, then, is to not let work cheat your family by becoming a higher priority.
One part of the book I deeply appreciated was the comparison to the emotional load one feels when one feels, well, cheated, to having to hold onto a heavy rock all by oneself, as well as the idea of the exhaustion factor - the feeling as though you just can't hold on any longer to this heavy burden you've been left to carry all on your own. This doesn't have to refer simply to the ability to stay in the relationship - at least while I was reading the chapter it really hit home in a different way. There's no way I can imagine not being able to hold on to my husband, but I can relate to the exhaustion of holding on to other emotional strains and burdens while trying to make our relationship work, and just feeling like I can't take it anymore, wanting to beg my husband to find another way to prioritize and organize our life together because the load feels too heavy, like I'm carrying it on my own because of the way he works (and sleeps, because of being on third shift) makes him so unavailable when it comes to the way I need for our family to function. I guess I'm just trying to say that I understand feeling "cheated...."
Anyway, the first section of this book relates to looking into relationships that have been tested because of feeling "cheated" - the emotions and struggles of the person feeling cheated, the way it can come between people, the need to be aware of the "vital signs" of the relationship and family....And then the second section pertains to coming up with a "strategy for change" - making up your mind in terms of priorities, making a plan to try to do better, testing the plan, etc, etc.
It's a short, quick read - I read it in one sitting, though there are discussion questions in the back of the book set up so that people can read it in a four week "course." I felt that this book did well to show both sides of the coin - how difficult it is to be both the person feeling "cheated" and the person doing the "cheating", and I would recommend it to anyone striving for more balance in their life, or anyone who feels as though their spouse should.
I'll bring this review to a close with the quote I feel most sums up this book:
"Don't cheat the people who love you most. Don't cheat the person who's looking forward to spending the rest of his or her life with you. Don't cheat yourself of the peace that comes with knowing you're squarely in the will of the One who created you. Don't cheat your kids of the security that comes with knowing that they're Mommy and Daddy's priorities." (page 132)
May 10, 2012
In When Work and Family Collide, Andy Stanley described the importance of balancing family life and your work schedule. He has seen the effects of people choosing their job over maintaining a relationship with their spouse and children. At one point or another we have to cheat someone or something somewhere. We can decide to cheat the job or cheat our family. We can't be everything to all people and there is no possible way to be involved in everything. Is working so hard and long hours in order to obtain the American dream really worth neglecting your family of their needs? This book shared many personal stories and steps to achieve a balance between work and family. The most critical step is to make a decision to spend time more time with your family. The next part of the step is making a plan on how you will do this. Making a decision and not following through won't accomplish the task of being the father or wife you were created to be. He will take you through Daniel's story with the King and show you how Daniel handled his situation. Andy Stanley encouraged readers to try a plan for thirty days and see how their lives will change for the better.
Here is a thought provoking revelation from the book:
"One day you'll come home from the office for the last time. Nobody retires from his or her family to spend his or her final days in the office. Your last day may be at sixty-five when you retire or at thirty-five when you're laid off. Either way, you're coming home. What and who you come home to will be determined by how you live out your priorities between now and then" (Page 130).
I would recommend this wonderful book to every family and those who are planning to have a family one day. Some might not even have children but this book is still relevant and the message is still needed. There needs to be a balance and structure for our families. It's important to not let work became the God of your life. Yes, we must work in order to live but in the process, we can't forsake our family members who desperately want our love and support. This is the first book that I have read by Andy Stanley and he did a magnificent job at revealing the steps one must take in order to not cheat on your family. He didn't sugarcoat the message of saying that we are all cheaters. We tend to not consider that cheating isn't just with another person. Our jobs schedules are cheating many families right now. Maintaining and finding the balance between the office and home are the main important keys! This book will assist readers to start to learn how to say no to working long hours every single night. We can choose to stay at the office until everything is done. But we must face the truth that everything will never be completely finished! The work will still be there tomorrow. Your family though may not be!
"I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review".
Here is a thought provoking revelation from the book:
"One day you'll come home from the office for the last time. Nobody retires from his or her family to spend his or her final days in the office. Your last day may be at sixty-five when you retire or at thirty-five when you're laid off. Either way, you're coming home. What and who you come home to will be determined by how you live out your priorities between now and then" (Page 130).
I would recommend this wonderful book to every family and those who are planning to have a family one day. Some might not even have children but this book is still relevant and the message is still needed. There needs to be a balance and structure for our families. It's important to not let work became the God of your life. Yes, we must work in order to live but in the process, we can't forsake our family members who desperately want our love and support. This is the first book that I have read by Andy Stanley and he did a magnificent job at revealing the steps one must take in order to not cheat on your family. He didn't sugarcoat the message of saying that we are all cheaters. We tend to not consider that cheating isn't just with another person. Our jobs schedules are cheating many families right now. Maintaining and finding the balance between the office and home are the main important keys! This book will assist readers to start to learn how to say no to working long hours every single night. We can choose to stay at the office until everything is done. But we must face the truth that everything will never be completely finished! The work will still be there tomorrow. Your family though may not be!
"I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review".
April 14, 2012
Too many parents, and men in particular, have neglected their family in favor of advancing their career. This is an epidemic problem throughout America. Parents decide that more things, cooler experiences, and better opportunities are more important to strive after for their children than a vibrant, healthy family that loves one another and loves God. Stanley opens the book by asserting that everybody cheats. By cheating, he means "choosing to give up one thing in hope of gaining something else of greater value." The key issue here is what is of "greater value?" Far too many men have decided that financial security and success in a particular career is of greater value, and have therefore chosen to give up family time in order to more fully pursue those "more important things."
In order to combat this way of thinking and help clarify what is truly the thing of greater value, Andy Stanley has written this short, but important, little book clocking in right at 130 pgs. He splits the book into two parts. The first part, chapters 2-5, uses personal stories in order to focus on the dynamic created in the heart of a spouse or child who feels cheated or neglected. The second part, chapters 6-10, focuses on developing a strategy for change. I appreciate the fact that Stanley did not just exhort the reader to change, showing them that what they are doing is wrong, but he gives the reader practical advice and steps in order to develop a strategy to spend more time focusing on family and less time focusing on a career.
Stanley ends the book in a rather interesting, but I believe helpful, way. He challenges the reader to take a 30-day challenge. The focus of this challenge is to commit yourself not to cheat on home for work for 30 consecutive days. Instead of leaving the office when you have finished everything, which may not be until very late in the night, resolve to be home when you have said you'll be home. If your wife is serving dinner at 6pm, be home at 6pm to enjoy dinner with your family. If your son has an important game at 7pm, be there. The focus of this challenge is to encourage men to leave work at work and spend more time with family, realizing that they are infinitely more important than some career.
I thought that this book was very helpful and challenging, and is one that should be read by all men who are trying to juggle the balance between work and family. If nothing else, it will serve as a very important reminder not to let your priorities get confused.
In compliance with FTC regulations, I would like to thank Waterbrook Multnomah for providing me with a review copy in exchange for a fair and honest review.
In order to combat this way of thinking and help clarify what is truly the thing of greater value, Andy Stanley has written this short, but important, little book clocking in right at 130 pgs. He splits the book into two parts. The first part, chapters 2-5, uses personal stories in order to focus on the dynamic created in the heart of a spouse or child who feels cheated or neglected. The second part, chapters 6-10, focuses on developing a strategy for change. I appreciate the fact that Stanley did not just exhort the reader to change, showing them that what they are doing is wrong, but he gives the reader practical advice and steps in order to develop a strategy to spend more time focusing on family and less time focusing on a career.
Stanley ends the book in a rather interesting, but I believe helpful, way. He challenges the reader to take a 30-day challenge. The focus of this challenge is to commit yourself not to cheat on home for work for 30 consecutive days. Instead of leaving the office when you have finished everything, which may not be until very late in the night, resolve to be home when you have said you'll be home. If your wife is serving dinner at 6pm, be home at 6pm to enjoy dinner with your family. If your son has an important game at 7pm, be there. The focus of this challenge is to encourage men to leave work at work and spend more time with family, realizing that they are infinitely more important than some career.
I thought that this book was very helpful and challenging, and is one that should be read by all men who are trying to juggle the balance between work and family. If nothing else, it will serve as a very important reminder not to let your priorities get confused.
In compliance with FTC regulations, I would like to thank Waterbrook Multnomah for providing me with a review copy in exchange for a fair and honest review.
August 21, 2012
Divorce, separation, family breakup, heartache, looking back on life with much regret. These are a few of the things Andy Stanley is hoping to save today’s families from.
Basically the author points out what we all know: there are only so many hours in the day. Unfortunately, a lot of us would like to squeeze at least 36 hours of life into those 24 hours. Since that won’t work, something is always going to be shortchanged. Andy Stanley’s basic premise is: if something is shortchanged while trying to accomplish more than there is time for, the family should not be picked for the sacrifice.
Stanley asserts that no matter how supportive and understanding a family is about being constantly shortchanged, resentments will start to fester. Given time, even if logically the mind’s of the people in the family know that they are being given the short-end-of-the-stick for an ultimate good, the heart of the family will start to break. Hurt feelings, anger, feelings of abandonment, and other negative aspects will start tearing apart the heart’s of the family members. And if it goes on very long, the damage may not be undone.
Stanley gives us some interesting examples from his own life. He also includes some true-life stories of people who have found themselves on the brink of, or even already breaking their families up–and what became of them. Stanley offers some concrete suggestions for making the craziness of life stop, based on Daniel of the Old Testament. Daniel had some formidable situations in his own life–such as a king who renamed him after an idol, and insisted Daniel eat the food that was sacrificed to that same idol. Stanley makes some impressive parallels from Daniel’s story of old, and our problems of today.
If your life seems to be overwhelming you, pick this up for some pointers on changing. This book is one that is easy and quick to read, which in my opinion is the perfect type of self-help tool. You can quickly get to the main points, and try to put them into action in your own life. I enjoyed reading it.
The publisher has provided me with a complimentary copy of this book through WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for the purpose of review. All opinions expressed are my own, and I have not been compensated in any other manner.
My blog: http://fushiacat.wordpress.com/
Basically the author points out what we all know: there are only so many hours in the day. Unfortunately, a lot of us would like to squeeze at least 36 hours of life into those 24 hours. Since that won’t work, something is always going to be shortchanged. Andy Stanley’s basic premise is: if something is shortchanged while trying to accomplish more than there is time for, the family should not be picked for the sacrifice.
Stanley asserts that no matter how supportive and understanding a family is about being constantly shortchanged, resentments will start to fester. Given time, even if logically the mind’s of the people in the family know that they are being given the short-end-of-the-stick for an ultimate good, the heart of the family will start to break. Hurt feelings, anger, feelings of abandonment, and other negative aspects will start tearing apart the heart’s of the family members. And if it goes on very long, the damage may not be undone.
Stanley gives us some interesting examples from his own life. He also includes some true-life stories of people who have found themselves on the brink of, or even already breaking their families up–and what became of them. Stanley offers some concrete suggestions for making the craziness of life stop, based on Daniel of the Old Testament. Daniel had some formidable situations in his own life–such as a king who renamed him after an idol, and insisted Daniel eat the food that was sacrificed to that same idol. Stanley makes some impressive parallels from Daniel’s story of old, and our problems of today.
If your life seems to be overwhelming you, pick this up for some pointers on changing. This book is one that is easy and quick to read, which in my opinion is the perfect type of self-help tool. You can quickly get to the main points, and try to put them into action in your own life. I enjoyed reading it.
The publisher has provided me with a complimentary copy of this book through WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for the purpose of review. All opinions expressed are my own, and I have not been compensated in any other manner.
My blog: http://fushiacat.wordpress.com/
January 23, 2012
Andy Stanley in When Work & Family Collide: Keeping Your Job from Cheating Your Family provides practical and theologically sound advice on balancing home and work life. Stanley notes despite the negative connotations to the word “cheating” that everyone does it. He reframes cheating as “choosing to give up one thing in hope of gaining something else of greater value (Stanley, 1)” The book provides examples of the negative impact on the family lives of many well meaning people who worked hard but neglect sharing their time with their families. Stanley examines the life of Daniel from the Old Testament to provide principles on making a stand for our families. He notes that Daniel took the stand to not cheat on his God under the pressures of those who worshiped another God. Daniel shows us a strategy to not cheat. Daniel addressed the issue directly, asked for but did not demand change, and offered alternatives. In the end Daniel was allowed to test his claim that he would benefit by not eating foods dedicated to false idols, a test that he decisively passed.
This is a reprint of Stanley’s Choosing to Cheat, a book that I have cited and used to help my decision making over the last few years even though I have never read it. Stanley presents to us a message that we all need to examine, balance. We all know that we can and do at times cheat our families and he does not shy away from this fact. Let’s be honest many of us have cheated our families in order to support the work of the church. Stanley shows us that we can balance our lives and that the benefit to us is better than any raise or work promotion. This is a book that I think every parent, husband, wife, minister, breathing person should consider in determining how to best make decisions for their futures.
Review Copy Provided by WaterBrook Multnomah
This is a reprint of Stanley’s Choosing to Cheat, a book that I have cited and used to help my decision making over the last few years even though I have never read it. Stanley presents to us a message that we all need to examine, balance. We all know that we can and do at times cheat our families and he does not shy away from this fact. Let’s be honest many of us have cheated our families in order to support the work of the church. Stanley shows us that we can balance our lives and that the benefit to us is better than any raise or work promotion. This is a book that I think every parent, husband, wife, minister, breathing person should consider in determining how to best make decisions for their futures.
Review Copy Provided by WaterBrook Multnomah
May 14, 2012
Keeping your job from cheating your family—this is the subtitle and it is very appropriate to the content. This is what the author meant by the term “cheating”: choosing to give up one thing in hope of gaining something else of greater value.
I thought the topic was simply and clearly spelled out for the readers with plenty of related stories to illustrate points and to keep it interesting. Starting off with what it means to “cheat” (see above), to why it happens, suggestions to help stop it, making a plan to change it and ending up with a “test” for God (a challenge to the reader).
The author pointed out that it isn’t always enough just to come home. Plenty of housewives or work-at-home individuals can be at home, but not really all there. I can relate to that. It is easy to be preoccupied with “stuff” (pick your favorite) to the neglect of the people you live with.
He also made a very good case for the fact that your success at work is never directly tied to how many hours you put in, but instead, ” [from] lucky breaks, hunches you followed up on, people you met by accident, and risks you decided to take.” I would have worded that a little bit differently attributing it more directly to the favor of God and/or how much you prayed but the basic idea is true.
If you feel you may be imbalanced between your work and home life or that you are shortchanging your family and don’t know where to begin to change it, this book will help you get started and more.
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group as part of their Blogging For Books program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16CFR, Part 225:”Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
I thought the topic was simply and clearly spelled out for the readers with plenty of related stories to illustrate points and to keep it interesting. Starting off with what it means to “cheat” (see above), to why it happens, suggestions to help stop it, making a plan to change it and ending up with a “test” for God (a challenge to the reader).
The author pointed out that it isn’t always enough just to come home. Plenty of housewives or work-at-home individuals can be at home, but not really all there. I can relate to that. It is easy to be preoccupied with “stuff” (pick your favorite) to the neglect of the people you live with.
He also made a very good case for the fact that your success at work is never directly tied to how many hours you put in, but instead, ” [from] lucky breaks, hunches you followed up on, people you met by accident, and risks you decided to take.” I would have worded that a little bit differently attributing it more directly to the favor of God and/or how much you prayed but the basic idea is true.
If you feel you may be imbalanced between your work and home life or that you are shortchanging your family and don’t know where to begin to change it, this book will help you get started and more.
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group as part of their Blogging For Books program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16CFR, Part 225:”Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
June 28, 2012
This book written by Andy Stanley was released previously titled Choosing to Cheat. In this book Andy talks about the fact that in life we are either cheating our family due to work or cheating work due to our family. He shares about creating boundries and guidlines to protect what you value most...your family. He explains the difference in saying that your family is a priority and actually making your family your priority and gives practical advice on how to do just that.
One might think that this principle only applies to people who work or are in ministry, but I believe that it also applies to stay at home moms as well. We can easily let how we serve our families cheat them of the time that we spend with them.
In this book Andy talks about a series of questions that he asks his family a few times a week to monitor their hearts on a regular basis.
They are:
Is everything ok in your heart?
Did anyone hurt your feelings today?
Are you mad at anyone?
Did anyone break a promise to you?
Is there anything I can do for you?
These questions are a great way to prompt an open conversation with your family and make sure they feel that they are your priority.
When Work & Family Collide is a book for everyone. Whether you work outside the home or inside the home, you will get something from this book that could change the dynamic of your family.
One might think that this principle only applies to people who work or are in ministry, but I believe that it also applies to stay at home moms as well. We can easily let how we serve our families cheat them of the time that we spend with them.
In this book Andy talks about a series of questions that he asks his family a few times a week to monitor their hearts on a regular basis.
They are:
Is everything ok in your heart?
Did anyone hurt your feelings today?
Are you mad at anyone?
Did anyone break a promise to you?
Is there anything I can do for you?
These questions are a great way to prompt an open conversation with your family and make sure they feel that they are your priority.
When Work & Family Collide is a book for everyone. Whether you work outside the home or inside the home, you will get something from this book that could change the dynamic of your family.
April 15, 2012
If I’m honest, I’ll admit that I cheated both work and family to read this book…
I listen to Andy Stanley’s leadership podcast as well as the “Best of North Point” podcast and one of them recently featured the topic contained within the pages of this very book. And since I work for a company that strongly emphasizes (at least in word if not deed) the importance of a proper “work/life balance,” it really struck me as quite relevant and intriguing. I mean, I’ve heard what the corporate world has to say on the matter and I – like most of us – know what I would like to believe I practice, but what does the Bible have to say about it?
Stanley, who’s quickly becoming one of my favorite authors, covers the topic of priorities and maintaining a healthy focus on work and family by providing examples from Daniel and offering practical advice. It’s clear from the statistics on family life that this is a problem plaguing the masses and one that needs to be addressed more openly. The book is convicting without being accusatory and offers suggestions without being overbearing. It’s also a pretty quick read, partly because – if you’re at all like me – you’ll be captivated and engaged from cover to cover. (If you don’t believe me, get started with a sneak peek now). Very worthwhile investment.
I listen to Andy Stanley’s leadership podcast as well as the “Best of North Point” podcast and one of them recently featured the topic contained within the pages of this very book. And since I work for a company that strongly emphasizes (at least in word if not deed) the importance of a proper “work/life balance,” it really struck me as quite relevant and intriguing. I mean, I’ve heard what the corporate world has to say on the matter and I – like most of us – know what I would like to believe I practice, but what does the Bible have to say about it?
Stanley, who’s quickly becoming one of my favorite authors, covers the topic of priorities and maintaining a healthy focus on work and family by providing examples from Daniel and offering practical advice. It’s clear from the statistics on family life that this is a problem plaguing the masses and one that needs to be addressed more openly. The book is convicting without being accusatory and offers suggestions without being overbearing. It’s also a pretty quick read, partly because – if you’re at all like me – you’ll be captivated and engaged from cover to cover. (If you don’t believe me, get started with a sneak peek now). Very worthwhile investment.
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