Cunt-Kick the Witch Bitch

by Edward Lee, Christine Morgan

Trophy-wife besties Doris, Janet, and Marj are living the good life. They’ve got it all -- rich lawyer husbands, big houses in an upscale neighborhood, fancy cars, shopping trips, Sunday brunches.

Lately, though, they’ve begun to suspect there’s trouble in paradise and the trouble's name is Isobel Rigby, the gothy, sexy young widow at the end of the block. When they each discover evidence their husbands are fooling around, who else could it be? More importantly, what do they do about it?

The obvious answer, of CUNT-KICK THE WITCH BITCH!

From the depraved minds of Edward Lee and Christine Morgan comes the collaboration the extreme horror community’s been clamoring for, a gory comedy blend of chick-flick and revenge porn sure to elicit all kinds of reactions.

Genres: Horror

87 pages, Kindle Edition

Published November 6, 2023

About the author

Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the GoodReads database with this name.

Edward Lee is an American novelist specializing in the field of horror, and has authored 40 books, more than half of which have been published by mass-market New York paperback companies such as Leisure/Dorchester, Berkley, and Zebra/Kensington. He is a Bram Stoker award nominee for his story "Mr. Torso," and his short stories have appeared in over a dozen mass-market anthologies, including THE BEST AMERICAN MYSTERY STORIES OF 2000, Pocket's HOT BLOOD series, and the award-wining 999. Several of his novels have sold translation rights to Germany, Greece, and Romania. He also publishes quite actively in the small-press/limited-edition hardcover market; many of his books in this category have become collector's items. While a number of Lee's projects have been optioned for film, only one has been made, HEADER, which was released on DVD to mixed reviews in June, 2009, by Synapse Films.

Lee is particularly known for over-the-top occult concepts and an accelerated treatment of erotic and/or morbid sexual imagery and visceral violence.

He was born on May 25, 1957 in Washington, D.C., and grew up in Bowie, Maryland. In the late-70s he served in the U.S. Army's 1st Armored Division, in Erlangen, West Germany, then, for a short time, was a municipal police officer in Cottage City, Maryland. Lee also attended the University of Maryland as an English major but quit in his last semester to pursue his dream of being a horror novelist. For over 15 years, he worked as the night manager for a security company in Annapolis, Maryland, while writing in his spare time. In 1997, however, he became a full-time writer, first spending several years in Seattle and then moving to St. Pete Beach, Florida, where he currently resides.

Of note, the author cites as his strongest influence horror legend H. P. Lovecraft; in 2007, Lee embarked on what he calls his "Lovecraft kick" and wrote a spate of novels and novellas which tribute Lovecraft and his famous Cthulhu Mythos. Among these projects are THE INNSWICH HORROR, "Trolley No. 1852," HAUNTER OF THE THRESHOLD, GOING MONSTERING, "Pages Torn From A Travel Journal," and "You Are My Everything." Lee promises more Lovecraftian work on the horizon.

Reviews

[Scott Neumann · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's good to see how prolific Edward Lee has been lately after taking a step back from publishing the last few years. If you can get past the lurid title, your are in for a fun time. Light on horror which he is really known for, it is still Lee through and through. Co-written by Christine Morgan who also has a lot of extreme horror under her belt, they've taken I feel a successful turn in lighter fare with a extreme bent. Filled with the things extreme horror is known for (sex and violence) this story of three trophy housewives who embark on path of revenge whom they perceive to be a threat to their cushy way of life.

Four stars.

[Carl Bluesy · Rating 5 out of 5]

You can always count on Edward Lee to give you a tale of uniquely, detailed violence. And what I found this one to be particularly predictable (which is rare for an Edward Lee story) this book was still tons of fun and filled all the things that make me love this author

this book is try not to make a great introduction to people who are familiar to his work. Plus, it has all the familiar traits to satisfy his long-term fans. It’s short it’s good it’s Edward Lee with friends!

[Diane · Rating 5 out of 5]

This books deserves 5 ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐'s just for the title and the cover art alone,even before starting the story inside.
I just loved Doris, Janet and Marj...they were bloody adorable,funny and couldn't keep their gobs shut for one moment....their banter and stories had me chuckling to myself on several occasions throughout the book...the twizzler one made me...well... Squirm!!😬😳😵😫
Izzy the "Witch Bitch" well...what a woman...and her black bitch of a moggie too🐈😾🙀
An exceptional book by Edward Lee...well written with a twist.
I loved it 💜❤️🖤

[Jason Harlow · Rating 3 out of 5]

Three rich suburban Karens raise hell in the cul-de-sac upon discovering that their husbands are fooling around with Isobel, the big-breasted goth babe down the street. This was wild and hilarious and obviously not meant to be taken very seriously throughout. I definitely want to check out a more serious Edward Lee book, but this one was fun for what it was. I give this a 3/5 mostly because the vulgar writing was the main thing that made this entertaining, so therefore I can't really give this a higher rating. I had a lot of fun with this though.

[Hamed Manoochehri · Rating 4 out of 5]

Gloriously gory and apnea-inducingly hilarious.
To be honest I'd prefer the ending to be more graphic but I'm content with what I got.

[Ian · Rating 4 out of 5]

'Bitchy, brutal and quite simply...amusingly brilliant!'

To be honest, when I first saw this title, although hilarious, I actually thought that the story might be an underwhelming let-down. Well, how wrong could I be! It was a fantastic read, like a welcome, refreshing breath of dark art, 'not-so-fresh' air.

For a quick snapshot, think of a humorous version of 'Housewives of Hollywood' given the expected out and out raw bitchiness, but with tons of violent brutality, sexual impropriety, torture and death and all exquisitely wrapped up in a quite wonderful package of sinister witchcraft and sorcery.

Yep, do yourselves a great big favour and enter the lives of Janet, Marji, Doris and Isobel - like me, I'm sure that you'll not be disappointed.

And mind out for the big black cat - a certain sign of trouble ahead.

Will definitely be reading more from these two authors in future - brilliant!

Rating: 4.4 dark stars.

Would have awarded the full 5 stars but, like young Cody, I was left desperately wanting to see and hear more about the woman who lived down the road...a mysteriously dark character of whom I wish to read much more. Are You listening, Edward and Christine?

[Cea | CharmedByChapters · Rating 5 out of 5]

Three spoiled trophy wives think the gothic widow down the street is stealing their husbands… so the solution was to Cunt Kick the Witch Bitch, of course!

Short, ridiculous, brutal, and hilarious! I loved every messy second of it! Some parts had me clutching my imaginary pearls like, "Nooo..." 😲 and then, I felt really bad for Izzy. But that ending fed my petty, gore loving little heart! I loved the chaos, the humor, and the witchiness. (And yeah, I vibe with the witchy parts for personal reasons. 😉)

[Michael · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great collaboration between Lee & Morgan. The writing styles of both go well together. I have read a lot of Ed Lee, but I realize I need to read more Christine Morgan.

[Danny Welch · Rating 4 out of 5]

Edward Lee and Christine Morgan are both intelligent and humorous writers in the splatterpunk or extreme horror genres, but this is the first time they've ever worked together as a collaborative duo. A duo I'm aware people have been wanting to see for a very long time and last year we finally got it. When this book was announced I wasn't sure what to think (especially with its outlandish title), Edward Lee is an author I enjoy a great deal but some of his more comedic works can be hit-and-miss for me, and while I've read one novel from Christine Morgan I haven't properly had a chance to truly dive into her work just yet. But I finally caved in, purchased it, and immediately went to give it a go.

Trophy wives Doris, Janet, and Marj are living the good life. They've got it all money, fancy cars, shopping trips, Sunday brunches, desirable and loaded husbands, and of course each other as best friends. But when they all discover that their husbands are cheating on them, they immediately begin to suspect the witch who lives on the street is behind their traitorous behavior. Isobel Rigby is the most sought-after woman on the street and now the three of them want to give her a lesson. But what if the trio are wrong, and if they are what will the consequences be for them? Only time will tell but with a lone cat stalking their homes, it isn't long before chaos ensues.

Edward Lee and Christine Morgan have written a really fun 95-page black comedy that is both gruesome and hilarious in equal measure. Doris, Janet, Marj, and their cheating husbands are some of the most pathetic, self-centered, and arrogant individuals I have ever read, and it's so satisfying to see their lives crumble all around them as their being punished for their horrific crimes. I'll admit the twist in this novella caught me by surprise but in hindsight, it should have been obvious, but it still manages to both be hilarious and jaw-dropping.

The finale of this novella is a satisfying one, gruesome, outlandish, brutal but most of all deserving. Isobel Rigby is a character who I feel sorry for throughout the novella as what she ends up being put through is not only horrifically evil but downright sadistic, making the conclusion all the more worthwhile when we finally have some good old-fashioned revenge taking place.

Overall: A really fun novella that is horrific, gruesome, and hilarious. It also has arguably one of the best endings written by either author, a truly satisfying payoff. 8/10

[Edward · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Fucking Insane Trip with "Cunt Kick the Witch Bitch"

Holy shit, Edward Lee and Christine Morgan have cooked up one hell of a fucked-up tale. Meet Doris, Janet, and Marj, three high-society ladies whose husbands are dipping their dicks where they shouldn’t - in the goth-pussy of Isobel Rigby.

This novella is a wild, wet dream of revenge where these bitches decide to kick some metaphorical (and literal) ass. The story's like a rollercoaster ride through a shitstorm of dark comedy and splatter-horror, where you're laughing your ass off one second and puking at the gory details the next.

Fuck subtlety, this book throws every taboo in your face, mixing it with some of the most twisted humor you've ever read. It's not for the faint-hearted or the easily offended; it's raw, it's raunchy, and it's fucking unforgettable.

If you're looking for something to make you laugh while you're wincing, grab this piece of insanity. 5 stars for being the most batshit, vulgar, and hilarious piece of literature I've come across in a while. Just don't read it if you've got a weak stomach or a prudish mind.

[Chris Amies · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wonder if now that we don't actually have to go into bookshops for our books, titles are going to get a lot wilder. There's not much evidence of it really - Shawn Wunjo's "The Vagina Ass of Lucifer [N-word]bastard" was as long ago as 2010, and even Extreme Horror (TVALNB was more weird fantasy) hasn't really gone for the gonzo in its titles.
Anyway, enough about the title, which is accurate to what happens in the story. What happens: three women, neighbours, each complaining about a lack of action in the bedroom as their husbands complain about an exhausting work schedule, decide that the culprit has to be the alluring and magically-inclined woman who lives nearby. She's clearly shagging all of the husbands (never mind that there's no evidence. A witch-hunt wouldn't be a witch-hunt without a lack of evidence).
And having CK'd the WB, weird shit starts happening. Which is where the fun really starts.
Gory and funny in equal measures.

[Horror Haus Books · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was the most interesting thing I’ve read in a while 😂

And let me just say, as a female reading this, man did I CRINGE at the curb-stomping of vaginas. Ooooooof. I literally had to squint at the pages as I read that. It’s okay though. Izzy, the witch bitch, brick motherfuckin’ shit-house, got her revenge. As she should.

[Starr · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good lord wasn't sure about this but decided to give it a try. All I can say is wow 👌 👏 give it a try. Probably something most housewives can kind of relate to certain aspects of this book. I liked it. Xxx definitely for adults.
Man the twist at the end was epic 👌 never would have guessed.

[Slick · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm not gonna lie, the title had me curious as hell and it was worth the risk.

This books was funny as hell

[marisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

what can i say? they cunt kicked the witch bitch

[Josh reading · Rating 3 out of 5]

Strange title indeed, but a fun read that was quite different than anything I’ve read lately. I’m curious to explore more writing by this author to see how it compares to this book.

[Bill · Rating 4 out of 5]

Welp. This was pretty much what I thought it was going to be from a Lee & Morgan mash up. But funnier.

3.5 Stars

[Jan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Mediocre contents made worse by the narration of Kathleen King.

[Clarke · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is what people mean when they say a book is "laugh out loud funny"

[Tristan Gilkey · Rating 4 out of 5]

7/10