Why Did The Alien Cross The Galaxy? To Find a Fake Boyfriend and Befriend a Vacuum Cleaner

by A.M. Rose

Observer log 1: what I learned on my first day on Earth
1. A coffee shop is a hub of human social interaction.
2. Cookies and hot chocolate can end interplanetary disputes.
3. High fives solidify relations between humans.
4. Vacuum cleaners make incredible companions.
5. You can help humans keep their former mates away by agreeing to pretend to be their fake new mate.
6. If there is only one bed at a hotel, it is customary to share it with your human fake mate.

Genres: M M Romance, Aliens, Science Fiction, Romance, Christmas, Holiday, Humor

280 pages, Kindle Edition

First published December 20, 2023

About the author

A. M. Rose is a pseudonym that hides two people trying to write books one nervous breakdown at a time. How do you co-write books when you live countries apart, you ask? By sending weird texts at 3 in the morning and giving no context. The stuff dreams are made of. Opposites in every way, the chaotic energy is harnessed for the good of everyone by creating worlds no one asked for. You're welcome.

Reviews

[Kristina]

Ok, someone better bang a vacuum in this or I’ll riot.

[Brooke · Rating 4 out of 5]

⭐️ 4 stars ⭐️

Very cute and humorous alien holiday romance.

I’m loving the non-conventional holiday romances, and this was perfect. A lovely mix of a fun plot, cute interactions, Christmas vibes and weird alien moments.

“So… we don’t get clicky lights, or a room?” Vix asked. “I can see why you’d be mad… bro.”

Vix the alien was such a fun character, and if you know me you know I’m a sucker for beings that struggle with human customs. How he’d talk very formal-like but then throw in the most random slang was so funny.

“Take your time.”
“Well I’m not gonna take yours, so chillax.”

My favorite moment has to be when Travis started understanding Vix’s braid-language. That was absolutely adorable.
Also, the whole idea of people communicating through hair? So fascinating.

The smut was brief and..weird? Still, very much hot. Never thought hair bondage could be a thing.

I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.

Tropes and NSFW info (spoilers):
- Alien x human
- Fake relationship
- Annoying ex
- Atypical anatomy
- Non-penetrative sex
- Restraints/mild bondage (no BDSM)

[Dani · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was absolutely nuts but in the best way😂😂

Pleasantly surprised by how funny this was! So tempted to go and decorate my hoover for Christmas, I can only imagine Vix's reaction to a Henry Hoover with its face...😂

I would have liked it to be a bit longer though because it felt like there were a lot of loose ends - where are they going to live, does Lex ever get the message, what happens with Henry....

[Reem]

Wow, that was… cute/weird/funny/crazy. A fun read. I keep side-eyeing my vacuum in case it needs something!

The 90’s slang this alien spouts out made me laugh, his species convey emotions via braids, the sex was hella weird and my favorite parts were when the ex kept harassing them and having it blow up at his face lol.

[Jacqueleen the Reading Queen♡ · Rating 5 out of 5]

"You traveled across galaxies to see me."

This was ADORABLE. A.M Rose offered this book with the caveat to not expect anything serious as it was pure holiday crack and OMG were they spot on. I just read a rash of angsty books so getting my hands on this one was pure delight. The alien Vix was absolutely precious. I loved how enamored he was with everything he was experiencing on Earth. He was like a child in his naivete. And his unintentional burns to Travis's ex had me laughing my ass off!

Poor Travis had no idea what he was getting himself into when he asked Vix to be his pretend boyfriend on his work retreat. What ensued was totally bananas and I truly loved every moment of it. This is very much an insta-love Christmasy story. There is minimal steam, and I can't believe I'm saying this, but I honestly did not miss it because I was too busy laughing at all the absurd things going on. I especially loved how Vix communicates with his hair. I wish I could tell people to essentially fuck off just by my hairstyle alone. Wouldn't that just be grand?

If you're a fan of aliens and are looking for an OTT holiday story then I suggest you to check out this cute AF romance by AM Rose. I dare you not to laugh.

[Poppy || Monster Lover · Rating 4 out of 5]

Vix was utterly adorable in his quirky oblivious way. He was absolutely the sunshine to Travis’ grumpy. Travis was so sweet and tender with Vix, even when he thought he was ridiculous. He was an absolute marshmallow behind that stoic exterior. Their chemistry together was awesome.
Vix was sometimes a conundrum for me. His inability to understand that a vacuum cleaner wasn’t sentient when he comes from a highly advanced society didn’t make much sense, especially since he supposedly spent so much time watching sitcoms and the like. However, the book was obviously supposed to be over the top and silly, so it didn’t ruin the book for me. He just wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed.

Spice: 3/5

Triggers: cheating (off page, by ex partner).

I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.

[spidermse · Rating 5 out of 5]

"I find the image of anyone touching your hair most displeasing. I shall, as your people say, cut a b****."

This book is so silly and light hearted. I loved every minute of it. I was cracking up the whole time. The humor is spot on and the romance between the two main characters is so cozy and charming.

There isn't much spice but the one spice scene between them is at the same time really sexy but so sweet. Love characters that are supportive of each other!

PLEASE GIVE US MORE!

[Jenn (not Lily) · Rating 5 out of 5]

That was flipping adorable! I really want to read the story of the other alien's brother's wedding -- there just seems like something's going on there...and no, I'm not going to tell you who else on Earth is an alien since it's too good to spoil! It looks like I'm going to be adding this author to my list to watch.

[Rin (indefinite hiatus) · Rating 2 out of 5]

I just wanted a fun holiday book and this was neither fun nor holiday. Zero chemistry between MC’s with the annoying ex in 90% of the book. I’ve enjoyed some of this author(s) books but this was an epic fail. 2023 releases are going to end like they started: awful.

[Teresa · Rating 4 out of 5]

a fun read!

This was sweet and cute, although I almost died of second hand embarrassment a time or two! Vix’s curiosity and innocent wonder compared to Travis’s sometimes gruff manner was endearing. I really appreciated that the authors made Lumians very different from humans in certain ways.

[Emily Pennington · Rating 5 out of 5]

Vix and Travis . . .

If this one doesn’t catch your attention – even if it’s only by the title – you’re not awake yet! Vix was so excited to finally be going to Earth! He constantly watched the Earth TV shows to gain invaluable information about humanity. His 5 delightful mothers arrived to say goodbye. Love and sharing was part of the Lumian culture; but Vix wanted someone for his very own, someone special from Earth. And he only had 7 days to search.

The reader will become comfortable quickly as the Lumians impress you as truly loving and nice. And Vix’s misconceptions about Earth are going to be hilarious. His understanding of “the coffeehouse” which is the revered epicenter of human life… well, for me, I could relate to that. But just reading the “facts” gathered about the coffeehouse will keep the reader laughing. One of those “facts” is that “Humans go in looking terrible and come out completely transformed!” That part never worked for me, but it may have something to do with the caffeine, which was under further study. Seriously, you have to read this story for yourself, especially when Vix meets Travis and the fun really begins! (Lex is added to the story to prevent us from smiling too much which could lead to premature wrinkles, so don’t miss this one. It’s adorable!)

[Alexandra · Rating 4 out of 5]

Cutest cuteness ever cuted:D

[369Pages · Rating 4 out of 5]

4⭐️
Well, the title says it all, really. Vix is an alien who is sent as an “observer” to learn about earth for a week. When he arrives he soon meets Travis, a grumpy businessman who is trying to get rid of an annoying ex. In a ploy to make said annoying ex leave him alone, Travis teams up with Vix in a very impromptu way, and they find themselves in a fake-dating situation for Travis’ work retreat. What could go wrong? 😂

This book has:
-human x alien
-creative alien culture (and anatomy 👀)
-very funny miscommunication and silly situations
-fake dating
-yes, the vacuum is Vic’s friend. His name is PH-IL.
-general chaos but in a lighthearted, funny way

This book was bonkers, and I loved every second of it. There may be some points that don’t fully make sense, but if you don’t think about it too deeply? You’re going to be in for a treat!

Vix has some HILARIOUS lines, and the general chaos of his alien ways makes the whole book so much fun to read. The alien culture and anatomy bits were legitimately cool, too. Like Vix communicates with his hair, which is so creative!

This book is low spice, high humour, and a great holiday read. I definitely recommend it if you want a good laugh. 🤭

[Rebecca · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was absolutely adorable. Vix is such a pure hearted soul, and his mission to study humans is hilarious. The things he says, the way he relates to the world around him, is both awkward and endearing. It's so easy to love him, and Travis had no chance of remaining unaffected. Their connection is cute, their intimate scenes frequently more sensual than sexual. I loved the lore the authors created about Lumia and especially the unique way they communicate. The story wrapped up well, though there is an obvious opening for more adventures.

[Kirsten · Rating 3 out of 5]

Definitely don't
worry about the science.
Sweet, fluffy twink/hunk.

[Courtney Bassett · Rating 5 out of 5]

I giggled the whole way through!

This book was freaking hilarious! I loved the little diagrams/observation notes between chapters, too! I hope there are more in the series!

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Vix is sent to earth to study the humans in case Lumians ever needed to leave Lumina.
He meets Travis in a local coffee shop and somehow Travis ends up asking Vix to be his plus 1 on a company retreat and fake boyfriend.
Once they get to Travis's home, Vix immediately makes friends with the vacuum cleaner and insists that it comes along to the retreat with them.
As the days pass the two start to fall for each other and then one morning Travis wakes up and finds Vix gone.
The 2 do get back together and decide to divide their time between both planets, whilst Vix makes another friend in Travis' cordless drill.

[Alex (HEABookNerd) · Rating 5 out of 5]

WHY DID THE ALIEN CROSS THE GALAXY? was such a hilarious read and I loved every second of it! It was silly, a bit over the top, but it had me laughing out loud and smiling in equal measures. Vix was just the most adorable little alien and I loved the way the Lumian people communicated their emotions with their hair and braids. Vix wasn't exactly good at hiding his alien nature, between his funny way of talking, awkward use of slang, and constantly referring to humans and Earth like he's not a part of them so it made for some great laughs.

Travis just rolled with it all, so you do have to suspend some disbelief that he wouldn't be questioning things more, but I loved the way he embraced Vix's quirks and oddities and even came to love them. Travis has the patience of a saint, at least when it came to Vix. Together they made a fun couple, even when they were just pretending for the sake of Travis's work retreat.

I wasn't expecting to love this one so much but it just really hit the perfect spot of fun, silly, and romantic and Vix was so endearing and lovable.

[Spoodly · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was such a funny and cute read! Vix is just a wonderful, sweet, quirky marshmallow of an individual, and Travis just didn't stand a chance against him. At first, I worried the issues created by a certain someone would get old as the story progressed, but Vix came through and I couldn't stop laughing!

A perfect little holiday fic for anyone who enjoys a little spice and adorable romance with their alien tales! This may become a yearly read for me.

I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.

[Alias11 · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was the perfect mix of hilarity, oddity, and tenderness in a romantic comedy. Vix is an alien sent to earth to observe humanity. He is quirky, funny, and sometimes learns the hard way that earth TV is NOT the best representation of human behavior, resulting in some awkward social situations. Travis is the grumpy human he latches onto. The results are occasionally OTT, but the outcome is a funny, sweet story.

I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.

[Brey (lil Sebastian) · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was a wild ride and I loved every minute of it! It was sooo freaking hilarious. I love Vix and Travis. Vix was just the cutest and his bff PH1L aka Phil was the perfect side character. There was other man drama but that’s what the premise of the book was. It honestly did not hinder the book at all. Travis had no interest in lex. I kind of wanted to just reread this book again because I laughed so much. It deserves more than five stars and I will read this next Christmas as well. I hope these authors come out with more in this universe. Maybe something with Henry’s brother? 🤔

[Hayley · Rating 4 out of 5]

How totally adorable is Vix! I just want to scoop him up. I bet he smells like cotton candy he's so sweet. Love how he's just out there announcing the truth to the world and no one gets it. Humans are totally clueless. Travis is the perfect foil for Vix or vice versa, Vix brings out the best in Travis. What is that cliff hanger about? I can't wait for the next book!

[Kylara Jensen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Unhinged title.

Really sweet book.

It's a shorter read so the whole relationship is a bit sped up.

[Fredicka · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING!!! I am so sad that I will never again get to experience reading it for the first time because it was EVERYTHING. I don’t even know how to start to describe how much I loved this book. So all I can say is read it, because.

[Sabrina Morissette · Rating 4 out of 5]

Vix + Travis
• Alien 👽 observer on Earth for a week
• A human in need of a date for a work retreat
• An ex who doesn’t know when to quit
• A vacuum cleaner named PH-1L (or PHIL)
• An unexpected ally
• Some creativity in the bedroom since Human and Lumian anatomies differ
• Intergalactic travels
This was a really cute story with an adorable alien MC.

[Melanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

heartwarming, fabulous, hilarious

Rating: 4.75🌈

When you are wheezing at a book so hard that your dog is looking at you with concern you know you have a fabulous story in your hands!

So it is with A. M. Rose’s amazing holiday science fiction novel “Why Did The Alien Cross The Galaxy? To Find a Fake Boyfriend and Befriend a Vacuum Cleaner.” If I hadn’t already found it by the great recommendations, that bright, goofy, and absolutely glorious cover would have done its job and pulled me immediately in. Which it also did.

The authors delivered on every single detail and element they put together for the story, and then topped it off with tons more glitter, then backed a semi full of glowy holiday hearts and bows , dumping it too into this fabulous, hilariously heartwarming novel.

Vix, a large eyed, white haired alien Observer from Lumia, has been fixated on Earth since adolescence. Vix has learned much about Earth’s culture , languages, educational institutions from such shows as the revered “Saved By the Bell” as Vix had done by ancient historical texts.

You can imagine , snorts and ugly crying incoming, exactly what this might mean for the dialogue and you’d be right. Combine that with Vix’s own culture that uses its hair braids to communicate and boom, narrative heartwarming romantic alien madcap comedy ensues.

We get to hear/watch Travis, newly made partner, navigate the wildly different, always wonderful quirky relationship he starts to develop with Vix when Travis needs a plus one to a company holiday retreat.

Travis is the fantastic Earth yin to Vix’s Lumia Yang and everything is magical. That includes character Henry and a vacuum cleaner as Vix’s bestie.

That’s PH-1L , Travis’s vacuum cleaner, whose most important job to clean vacuums make it the best vacuum cleaner friend any alien could ever have. Still laughing about this, the authors absolutely sell it.

Then there’s the Observation Logs, carefully constructed with both printed and hand drawn illustrations from Vix about some important things from his trip. Just as perfectly crafted and as much a part of Vix’s personality as anything else in the story. Also equally giggle producing.

Could I have done with less Lex, the ex? And more Henry? You bet. And I’m hoping that maybe Henry will get his own HEA this coming holiday season.

Why Did The Alien Cross The Galaxy? To Find a Fake Boyfriend and Befriend a Vacuum Cleaner. by A. M. Rose will be on holiday repeat reading or just reading because it’s a heartwarming, hilarious , must have experience.

I’m always so excited to recommend those. And this.

Really, look at this cover!

[Gleeful Goblin Reviews · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gleeful Goblin Review: If you want an absolutely unhinged and hilarious alien observation/study humans story do yourself a favor and pick up this book. The story opens on Vix who is preparing to leave home for Earth and we are treated to this internal monologue: "He turned his head toward the holo-projector casting images into the middle of his room. One of his favorite human TV shows was playing softly in the background as he got ready. Vix knew people looked at him strangely when he talked about the shows, but they were a font of information about humanity, and Vix found them fascinating beyond belief. The one currently playing was called Saved by the Bell, and it was an in-depth depiction of the educational system of humans from fifteen to eighteen years of age. Not exactly the target age group for Vix once he was down there, but as far as his knowledge went, humans liked to talk about their offspring. If he encountered someone whose child was of that age, he was well prepared."

I also thought it was very sweet when we get a glimpse of what Vix's cultural norms are and what he's looking for/interested in hat runs in contrast to those norms: “Tuga, darling,” Cvita said cajolingly. “We all know how fixated he has always been on Earth. Let him satisfy the craving.” “Besides,” Bara added, sending a sly glance Vix’s way. “Something tells me Vix wouldn’t really have interest in any of the Lumians.” Vix smiled sheepishly at those words. Because she was right. Years of watching human shows and reading human romance novels had made something in him shift. Or maybe it had been there all along. While he adored and understood Lumian love affairs, he craved something very different. He watched his mothers, the love they all shared together. He saw other family units and their bonds. Everything was shared. Everything was understood. And yet…he wanted someone who would be…just his. Maybe. Vix sighed internally. He didn’t properly know. What he did know was that he was certain he couldn’t find it on Lumia." I think the author did an incredible job of setting up the "why" of Vix wanting to leave home and find himself after experiencing human culture from only an entertainment lense. Having that groundwork laid makes the hijinks that ensue once Vix gets to Earth just **chef's kiss**. The book is a ton of fun and very unique, 5/5 Stars.

I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.

[Athena LaRue ♡ ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊ ⋆˙⟡ · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.25/5 stars

Overall impression
Couldn’t get myself to enjoy this. I mean, it had a promising start and the world-building was fine, but the plot and romance itself just felt bland and sometimes rushed. Couldn’t quite connect with the characters. But the writing flowed smoothly enough, and despite the rating I couldn’t stop reading.

What I liked
One of the first things you’re introduced to is the alien planet Lumia, and I’ll be honest, the world-building, despite the sparse descriptions, was pretty interesting and had lots of potential. Lumia itself sounded like a lovely place, all pastels and soft colors. I also like the concept of incorporating your hair into a language to communicate with others.

What I didn’t like
What stands out the most is the fact that Vix claims to be an Observer and is highly fascinated by human culture, but fails to fit in like you’d expect him to. He doesn’t understand basic figures of speech or regular household items. The most simple mechanisms have him absolutely shocked, and this is someone who’s said to have watched a bunch of human shows/movies/novels. And honestly, his constant excitement and childish behavior wore on me at some point. I enjoyed his enthusiasm at first (I love stories about aliens visiting Earth and feeling blown away) but Vix was just plain annoying.

I didn’t care much for Travis, he kind of bored me. Part of that has to do with their incredibly rushed romance - all within the span of less than 7 days. They meet, become friends, catch feelings and declare them all in a few days. I guess that kind of trope really isn’t for me anyway, but in this novel I just didn’t find any convincing chemistry. There was basically no depth. Just good old insta love.

And then there’s the ex. You can tell he’s meant to be the annoying, aggravating character but sometimes he was just shoe-horned into scenes just because. Solely to remind you that he’s there, that he’s the almost-bad-guy of the story. His appearances felt forced and unnecessary. Was practically rolling my eyes whenever he showed up.

[Choyang · Rating 4 out of 5]

'Why Did the Alien Cross the Galaxy? To Find a Fake Boyfriend and Befriend a Vacuum Cleaner'
by A.M. Rose

This was a very cute book, and one that made me think about human and aliens interactions, which I enjoyed very much!

Beings coming to Earth from other star-systems/galaxies is not a new concept, but I've never read anything quite like this particular take on that trope, and it made me laugh...and be a bit sad for a bit, too. Loved the alien and human sex & love-making; it was very creative!

I also liked the character of Henry; he was a great surprise!

Too many interruptions with that horrible ex-lover of Travis'! Instead, could have used more time getting to know more about our two MCs; there was a lot more about Vix than Travis.

The reason I took off a star was because there were several loose ends, leaving me questioning what happened to...?
(several situations & people, and in particular Henry)

Although not exactly a cliff-hanger, there is a HFN or maybe even a HEA, but the storyline ends with multiple questions left unanswered. Could be a set-up for the next book in a series? I hope so; that would be so cool! I'd definitely read more, as I especially liked the character of Vix, "the alien".

It was fun watching him discover so many things about Earth and her people that were new to him, especially slang and figures of speech and food! Plus the whole concept of using one's hair to communicate one's emotions was brilliant!

I do question that since supposedly Lumians have been coming & going from Earth for many years, as Observers, why there was so much communication misunderstanding about how societies and people in various countries interacted?

Anyway, a very cute book and a fun read, and I would definitely read more by this author!

[GreenwingReads · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is exactly what I needed to get me through the stress of the upcoming holidays. It is so funny and ridiculous, I couldn't help but laugh my way through it. Who knew vacuum cleaners make such good friends?

Travis is being hounded by his awful, relentless ex and needs a fake boyfriend fast, but he gets more than anticipated when he stumbles upon the alien, Vix, who has come to Earth to study humans. What ensues is a riot of misunderstandings, culture confusion, and fake dating hijinx. Almost every scene is so much fun, and the few that aren't are swoon worthy sweet (that stargazing scene!!).

Vix and Travis's ex, Lex, are equally absurd but in totally opposite ways. Lex is a narcissistic pain and Vix is a cinnamon roll sweetheart. I loved seeing his jealous and protective sides come out occasionally, to Lex's detriment.

Travis could be a little frustrating because he was a bit of a doormat. He didn't take the necessary steps he could have to cut Lex from his life and he sort of just let everything happen to him. He was almost like a passenger in his own life, which got to be frustrating at times. Henry was the only one who ever really took Vix aside and set him straight on a few things. I loved Henry so much! Maybe he will get a book too?? Here's hoping.

The story ends in what I would consider an HFN, rather than an HEA. The MCs are together, but haven't really worked out how that will look long-term, though I have faith they will figure it out.

This was my first A.M. Rose book, but it will not be my last. If you're looking for a fun, lighthearted read to get you through the stress of the holiday season, or if you're just looking for some laughs, grab a copy and let Vix take on a wild ride through the galaxy.