What do you think?
Rate this book
Already Home: Confronting the Trauma of Adoption
Third Place, The BookFest Book Awards, April 2024
Honorable Mention, Great Southwest Book Festival, March 2024
Honorable Mention, Southern California Book Festival, December 2023
Runner-Up, Indies Today, December 2023
"While there are many adoption memoirs available on the market, the author's writing skills and emotional honesty make Already Home stand out...The author is a skilled story teller..."
BOOKLIFE PRIZE, 2024
"This memoir...reads like a Netflix drama but has the authenticity and gravitas of a well-made documentary."
FIVE STAR REVIEW, TAMMY RUGGLES FOR READER VIEWS
"Ibach writes with candor and curiosity, making readers feel as though they're witnessing the author's self-exploration in real time...An earnest and thoughtful adoption memoir."
KIRKUS REVIEWS
"...an honest, in-depth, and propulsive memoir as gripping as a novel."
STARRED REVIEW,
BLUEINK REVIEW
"Readers looking to cry happy tears will find solace in this emotionally charged memoir."
BOOKLIFE REVIEWS
"...a profound and engaging work..."
LITERARY TITAN, February 2024
In his debut memoir, Already Home, adopted son, Howard Frederick Ibach, invites readers on an inspiring journey that ultimately debunks the widespread notion that adoption is an automatic ticket to suffering and abandonment.
As the son of a physician father and a scientist mother, Howard rarely questions his status as adoptee in a family that includes both an adoptive sister and his parents’ biological children. That’s because growing up in early 1960s-Wisconsin, he was afforded a life of love, security, and boyhood adventures.
But in 2015 at the age of fifty-eight, his story takes an unexpected turn. Amid the turmoil of a faltering relationship, he stumbles upon research that concludes most, if not all, adoptees will experience trauma.
Two years later, Ibach decides to trace his biological lineage. Armed with his adoption records, he learns the identity of his birth mother and unravels the captivating and dramatic narrative of his biological family.
Howard's discovery reveals not just the joy of his newfound connections, but also reaffirms the love he has for the family who adopted him.
Already Home is an inspiring memoir that disputes presumptive ideas about adoption and reveals what it really means to have a family…or two.
Honorable Mention, Great Southwest Book Festival, March 2024
Honorable Mention, Southern California Book Festival, December 2023
Runner-Up, Indies Today, December 2023
"While there are many adoption memoirs available on the market, the author's writing skills and emotional honesty make Already Home stand out...The author is a skilled story teller..."
BOOKLIFE PRIZE, 2024
"This memoir...reads like a Netflix drama but has the authenticity and gravitas of a well-made documentary."
FIVE STAR REVIEW, TAMMY RUGGLES FOR READER VIEWS
"Ibach writes with candor and curiosity, making readers feel as though they're witnessing the author's self-exploration in real time...An earnest and thoughtful adoption memoir."
KIRKUS REVIEWS
"...an honest, in-depth, and propulsive memoir as gripping as a novel."
STARRED REVIEW,
BLUEINK REVIEW
"Readers looking to cry happy tears will find solace in this emotionally charged memoir."
BOOKLIFE REVIEWS
"...a profound and engaging work..."
LITERARY TITAN, February 2024
In his debut memoir, Already Home, adopted son, Howard Frederick Ibach, invites readers on an inspiring journey that ultimately debunks the widespread notion that adoption is an automatic ticket to suffering and abandonment.
As the son of a physician father and a scientist mother, Howard rarely questions his status as adoptee in a family that includes both an adoptive sister and his parents’ biological children. That’s because growing up in early 1960s-Wisconsin, he was afforded a life of love, security, and boyhood adventures.
But in 2015 at the age of fifty-eight, his story takes an unexpected turn. Amid the turmoil of a faltering relationship, he stumbles upon research that concludes most, if not all, adoptees will experience trauma.
Two years later, Ibach decides to trace his biological lineage. Armed with his adoption records, he learns the identity of his birth mother and unravels the captivating and dramatic narrative of his biological family.
Howard's discovery reveals not just the joy of his newfound connections, but also reaffirms the love he has for the family who adopted him.
Already Home is an inspiring memoir that disputes presumptive ideas about adoption and reveals what it really means to have a family…or two.
- GenresAdoption
264 pages, Kindle Edition
Published December 5, 2023
1 person is currently reading
9 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
January 16, 2024
Howard Ibach, in his debut memoir, Already Home: Confronting the Trauma of Adoption, sets pen to paper and shares his experiences and approach to how adoption affected his life.
Howard Ibach does not recall the day he was adopted. How could he? He was an infant. In November 1955, a drunk driver killed the husband of Howard’s future mother. In her grief, the mother found comfort in the arms of another man. Roughly a year after the accident, Howard’s mother gave birth to ‘Howard,’ and shortly after his birth, Howard was put up for adoption. Howard has no complaints about his adoptive parents, Martha and Howard Ibach, a physician father and scientist mother. He clearly sets this tone from the start of his story. It is when he meets Zoe, the ‘love of his life,’ and they hit a rough patch months into their relationship, that questions begin to surface. The couple decides it is worth their while to see a couples therapist. Ibach states: "...It was Zoe who led me in 2015 to the therapist who introduced me to the author of two books that would change my life: Nancy Newton Verrier, M.A, a psychotherapist in private practice and an adoption specialist. Two people—my couple therapist and Verrier—marked the beginning of my education about what I think most people would agree was a consequential event in my life, but one that I never gave much thought to. Everything I knew about adoption would be challenged..." And so began Ibach’s journey to understand...
Ibach is insistent that he never felt abandonment or rejection, nor was he compelled to prove his worth. What he does center his defining moment around understanding is to focus on (perhaps) sublime emotions and possibly suppressed stress that he didn’t know he carried until furthering his self-educational journey of the impacts of adoption. The encouragement to journey down this path began when Zoe suggested to Howard in their first therapy session: "...talk about your adoption..." Their relationship ended shortly after, and Ibach began researching his childhood for evidence of emotional distress—were there occasions when he acted out that could point to the fact that he was adopted? Were these feelings so deeply buried he wasn’t equipped to address them until now as a 58-year-old grown man? Fortunately, not long after these questions rose to his surface, the State of Wisconsin opened its adoption records. It allowed children to delve into finding their birth parents for the first time. Ibach learned his birth mother’s name and also the fact she had died many years prior. The effect this had on Ibach was to embrace the information as a door that opened into a search that would uncover the backstory he had never known before.
Ibach writes with an unassuming tone, and his story plays out across the pages through a voice of revelations and experiences as he converses with his audience for the first time. There are moments where he questions what the correct terminology is to use. Should it be Bloodline? Ancestry? Parentage? He talks about his deceased mother and father, Harold and Martha. Granted, they were his adoptive parents, but again, the ‘parents’ he knew who raised him. At the beginning of his quest for information, he is insistent on setting the record straight that he is not a ‘victim,’ but there are times when a sense of uncertainty will be prevalent during his quest to understand. The overarching sense throughout this memoir is Ibach was compelled to share his journey of self-exploration in a light of positivity and something that was important to him to share for the finality of his personal acceptance. This is as much an informative read as it is emotionally captivating.
Quill says: Already Home is a story of inspiration as much as an affirmation that nobody has to be a ‘victim’ in his/her search for the truth.
Howard Ibach does not recall the day he was adopted. How could he? He was an infant. In November 1955, a drunk driver killed the husband of Howard’s future mother. In her grief, the mother found comfort in the arms of another man. Roughly a year after the accident, Howard’s mother gave birth to ‘Howard,’ and shortly after his birth, Howard was put up for adoption. Howard has no complaints about his adoptive parents, Martha and Howard Ibach, a physician father and scientist mother. He clearly sets this tone from the start of his story. It is when he meets Zoe, the ‘love of his life,’ and they hit a rough patch months into their relationship, that questions begin to surface. The couple decides it is worth their while to see a couples therapist. Ibach states: "...It was Zoe who led me in 2015 to the therapist who introduced me to the author of two books that would change my life: Nancy Newton Verrier, M.A, a psychotherapist in private practice and an adoption specialist. Two people—my couple therapist and Verrier—marked the beginning of my education about what I think most people would agree was a consequential event in my life, but one that I never gave much thought to. Everything I knew about adoption would be challenged..." And so began Ibach’s journey to understand...
Ibach is insistent that he never felt abandonment or rejection, nor was he compelled to prove his worth. What he does center his defining moment around understanding is to focus on (perhaps) sublime emotions and possibly suppressed stress that he didn’t know he carried until furthering his self-educational journey of the impacts of adoption. The encouragement to journey down this path began when Zoe suggested to Howard in their first therapy session: "...talk about your adoption..." Their relationship ended shortly after, and Ibach began researching his childhood for evidence of emotional distress—were there occasions when he acted out that could point to the fact that he was adopted? Were these feelings so deeply buried he wasn’t equipped to address them until now as a 58-year-old grown man? Fortunately, not long after these questions rose to his surface, the State of Wisconsin opened its adoption records. It allowed children to delve into finding their birth parents for the first time. Ibach learned his birth mother’s name and also the fact she had died many years prior. The effect this had on Ibach was to embrace the information as a door that opened into a search that would uncover the backstory he had never known before.
Ibach writes with an unassuming tone, and his story plays out across the pages through a voice of revelations and experiences as he converses with his audience for the first time. There are moments where he questions what the correct terminology is to use. Should it be Bloodline? Ancestry? Parentage? He talks about his deceased mother and father, Harold and Martha. Granted, they were his adoptive parents, but again, the ‘parents’ he knew who raised him. At the beginning of his quest for information, he is insistent on setting the record straight that he is not a ‘victim,’ but there are times when a sense of uncertainty will be prevalent during his quest to understand. The overarching sense throughout this memoir is Ibach was compelled to share his journey of self-exploration in a light of positivity and something that was important to him to share for the finality of his personal acceptance. This is as much an informative read as it is emotionally captivating.
Quill says: Already Home is a story of inspiration as much as an affirmation that nobody has to be a ‘victim’ in his/her search for the truth.
January 10, 2024
“Already Home: Confronting the Trauma of Adoption” by Howard Frederick Ibach, brings reading audiences the powerful journey of his adoption in this riveting memoir. There is a preconceived idea that adoption is defined by tragedy and is fraught with traumatic experiences, but this life story ends up revealing just the opposite, at least in the author’s account.
Ibach brings his personal story to life as the adopted son of a father who was a doctor and a mother who was a scientist in Wisconsin in the early 1960s. He never really questioned his circumstances as an adopted child in a family comprised of an adoptive sister, and biological children belonging to his parents. He describes growing up as being adventurous, with a foundation of love, safety, and security.
Flash forward to when life threw him a curveball at the age of 58. It was the year 2015, and he found himself in a wobbly relationship that was causing him pain, but during this chaotic period, he discovered research that determined that the majority of adoptees will experience trauma on some level. The author began to track his heritage two years later, beginning with his adoption records. The quest to find out who his birth mother was took him on an intense and amazing journey. This was a brave, bold step for the author to take, but he was rewarded with brand new connections and reminders of how much he loves his adoptive family.
I love how the author takes what we think we know about adoption and turns it upside down. This isn’t an adoption horror story. As a former social worker, I know of sad primal wound adoption stories, but I also know of triumphant well-adjusted stories like Ibach’s, that illuminate the human spirit and show us what happiness and contentment look like.
Readers will appreciate the author’s honesty, which I think sets this life story apart from others. His origin story is one you have to read, it is so poignant and moving, that I’d rather not spoil it here. The pacing and dialogue will grab you from the start. Just go read how he came to be in this world. I think this memoir will go a long way in easing fears about adoption. Each experience is different. There are highs and lows. This memoir, “Already Home: Confronting the Trauma of Adoption” by Howard Frederick Ibach, reads like a Netflix drama but has the authenticity and gravitas of a well-made documentary.
Ibach brings his personal story to life as the adopted son of a father who was a doctor and a mother who was a scientist in Wisconsin in the early 1960s. He never really questioned his circumstances as an adopted child in a family comprised of an adoptive sister, and biological children belonging to his parents. He describes growing up as being adventurous, with a foundation of love, safety, and security.
Flash forward to when life threw him a curveball at the age of 58. It was the year 2015, and he found himself in a wobbly relationship that was causing him pain, but during this chaotic period, he discovered research that determined that the majority of adoptees will experience trauma on some level. The author began to track his heritage two years later, beginning with his adoption records. The quest to find out who his birth mother was took him on an intense and amazing journey. This was a brave, bold step for the author to take, but he was rewarded with brand new connections and reminders of how much he loves his adoptive family.
I love how the author takes what we think we know about adoption and turns it upside down. This isn’t an adoption horror story. As a former social worker, I know of sad primal wound adoption stories, but I also know of triumphant well-adjusted stories like Ibach’s, that illuminate the human spirit and show us what happiness and contentment look like.
Readers will appreciate the author’s honesty, which I think sets this life story apart from others. His origin story is one you have to read, it is so poignant and moving, that I’d rather not spoil it here. The pacing and dialogue will grab you from the start. Just go read how he came to be in this world. I think this memoir will go a long way in easing fears about adoption. Each experience is different. There are highs and lows. This memoir, “Already Home: Confronting the Trauma of Adoption” by Howard Frederick Ibach, reads like a Netflix drama but has the authenticity and gravitas of a well-made documentary.
February 5, 2024
Already Home: Confronting the Trauma of Adoption by Howard Frederick Ibach presents an insightful and deeply personal exploration of the emotional complexities associated with adoption. As an adoptee, Ibach brings a unique perspective to this topic, combining his personal experiences with extensive research to offer a nuanced understanding of the psychological challenges faced by adoptees.
This book takes the reader on a journey through the intricate emotional landscape that adoption creates. Ibach's use of personal anecdotes alongside scholarly research enriches the narrative, making it informative and highly relatable. This blend of storytelling and academic inquiry allows the book to resonate with a broad audience, including those touched by adoption and individuals looking to comprehend its profound impact. A key aspect of Already Home is the detailed exploration of the enduring effects of adoption trauma. Ibach navigates the complex themes of grief, loss, and identity with sensitivity and depth. His analysis illuminates the ongoing emotional journey of adoptees, moving beyond the initial adoption experience to spotlight the lasting implications. The book emphasizes the necessity of recognizing and addressing these emotional challenges to facilitate healing and well-being.
Ibach's inclusion of the adoptive parents' perspective introduces a comprehensive view of the adoption experience. He advocates for open dialogue and empathy between adoptees and their families, underscoring the need for a nurturing environment conducive to healing. While at times emotionally charged, this book is ultimately a testament to resilience and hope. Ibach's empathetic writing style and thoughtful insights make the book an invaluable tool for adoptees, adoptive parents, and professionals in the field. It serves as a compassionate guide to understanding and navigating adoption's intricate emotional journey.
Already Home is a profound and engaging work that delves into the multifaceted nature of adoption trauma. Ibach's blend of personal vulnerability and scholarly research makes this a significant addition to adoption literature. It is a highly recommended read for anyone involved in or affected by adoption, offering a pathway to empathy and understanding in the complex world of adoption-related emotions.
This book takes the reader on a journey through the intricate emotional landscape that adoption creates. Ibach's use of personal anecdotes alongside scholarly research enriches the narrative, making it informative and highly relatable. This blend of storytelling and academic inquiry allows the book to resonate with a broad audience, including those touched by adoption and individuals looking to comprehend its profound impact. A key aspect of Already Home is the detailed exploration of the enduring effects of adoption trauma. Ibach navigates the complex themes of grief, loss, and identity with sensitivity and depth. His analysis illuminates the ongoing emotional journey of adoptees, moving beyond the initial adoption experience to spotlight the lasting implications. The book emphasizes the necessity of recognizing and addressing these emotional challenges to facilitate healing and well-being.
Ibach's inclusion of the adoptive parents' perspective introduces a comprehensive view of the adoption experience. He advocates for open dialogue and empathy between adoptees and their families, underscoring the need for a nurturing environment conducive to healing. While at times emotionally charged, this book is ultimately a testament to resilience and hope. Ibach's empathetic writing style and thoughtful insights make the book an invaluable tool for adoptees, adoptive parents, and professionals in the field. It serves as a compassionate guide to understanding and navigating adoption's intricate emotional journey.
Already Home is a profound and engaging work that delves into the multifaceted nature of adoption trauma. Ibach's blend of personal vulnerability and scholarly research makes this a significant addition to adoption literature. It is a highly recommended read for anyone involved in or affected by adoption, offering a pathway to empathy and understanding in the complex world of adoption-related emotions.
December 20, 2025
Already Home: Confronting the Trauma of Adoption is a deeply moving and honest memoir that explores the complexities of adoption with grace and insight. Howard Ibach masterfully weaves his personal journey with reflections on family, identity, and belonging, creating a story that is both heartfelt and inspiring. This book is essential reading for adoptees and anyone seeking a thoughtful, emotional, and uplifting perspective on family.
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews