Sugar on the Bones

Hap and Leonard #13

by Joe R. Lansdale

In this holy mess of a case for the "perpetual bad boy" (New York Times) sleuths in the beloved Hap and Leonard series, PI Duo Hap and Leonard investigate the untimely death of a woman whose family stood much to gain from her passing.

Minnie Polson is dead. Burned to a crisp in a fire so big and bad it had to be deliberate. The only thing worse is that Hap and Leonard could have prevented it. Maybe. Minnie had a feeling she was being targeted, shaken down by some shadowy force. However, when she’d solicited Hap & Leonard, all it took was one off color joke to turn her sour and she’d called them off the investigation. Wracked with a guilty conscience, the two PIs—along with Hap’s fleet-footed wife, Brett—tuck in to the case. As they look closer, they dredge up troublesome for one, Minnie’s daughter, Alice, has recently vanished. She’d been hard up after her pet grooming business went under and was in line to collect a whopping insurance sum should anything happen to her mother. The same was due to Minnie’s estranged husband, Al, whose kryptonite (beautiful, money-grubbing women) had left him with only a run-down mobile home. But did Minnie’s foolish, cash-strapped family really have it in them to commit a crime this grisly? Or is there a larger, far more sinister scheme at work?
Irreverent, wise-cracking, and full of atmosphere and bite, Sugar on the Bones is not to be missed. 

Genres: Mystery, Crime, Noir, Thriller, Mystery Thriller, Fiction, Action

336 pages, Kindle Edition

First published July 16, 2024

About the author

Champion Mojo Storyteller Joe R. Lansdale is the author of over forty novels and numerous short stories. His work has appeared in national anthologies, magazines, and collections, as well as numerous foreign publications. He has written for comics, television, film, newspapers, and Internet sites. His work has been collected in more than two dozen short-story collections, and he has edited or co-edited over a dozen anthologies. He has received the Edgar Award, eight Bram Stoker Awards, the Horror Writers Association Lifetime Achievement Award, the British Fantasy Award, the Grinzani Cavour Prize for Literature, the Herodotus Historical Fiction Award, the Inkpot Award for Contributions to Science Fiction and Fantasy, and many others. His novella Bubba Ho-Tep was adapted to film by Don Coscarelli, starring Bruce Campbell and Ossie Davis. His story "Incident On and Off a Mountain Road" was adapted to film for Showtime's "Masters of Horror," and he adapted his short story "Christmas with the Dead" to film hisownself. The film adaptation of his novel Cold in July was nominated for the Grand Jury Prize at the Sundance Film Festival, and the Sundance Channel has adapted his Hap & Leonard novels for television.

He is currently co-producing several films, among them The Bottoms, based on his Edgar Award-winning novel, with Bill Paxton and Brad Wyman, and The Drive-In, with Greg Nicotero. He is Writer In Residence at Stephen F. Austin State University, and is the founder of the martial arts system Shen Chuan: Martial Science and its affiliate, Shen Chuan Family System. He is a member of both the United States and International Martial Arts Halls of Fame. He lives in Nacogdoches, Texas with his wife, dog, and two cats.

Reviews

[Dave Edmunds · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Wherever you guys tread, disaster follows, two times squared with shit-stained shoes"

4.25 ⭐'s

Initial Thoughts

If you know me, then you know I'm the biggest Hap and Leonard fan ever. Numerous uno. That's right. Or at least I think I am.

But it turns out I'm really not. Unbeknownst to me, there was a new book in the series released in July last year (2024)! How did I not know about this? I'm absolutely raging. But then I realised I now have one more chance to have an outting with my two best pals...that's Hap Collins and Leonard Pine. That calls for a celebration. Life doesn't get any better. So pass that bottle of Jack right here.

Lansdale's been writing the Hap and Leonard series now for over thirty years. That dates back to the pairs first outing in Savage Season in 1990. And it's been one hell of a ride. If you're reading this and it's all new to you, I suggest starting right there and following the logical sequence.

This is not your normal detective fiction!
Hap and Leonard are one of the most unlikely couples out there. Hap is a liberal, East Texas boy who’s done some time, for protesting against the war, and Leonard is a gay, Republican, Vietnam vet. They have almost nothing in common. But that's why it works! They poke fun at each other at every opportunity, but they're as close as brothers and always have each others backs.

So I hope that sums up why I love this series. Great characters with fantastic action and side splitting humour. This is why I read fiction.

The Story

The story kicks off with Hap and Leonard's old friend Marvin Hanson referring them to a potential client, Minnie Polson. Her daughter is missing and she's desperate to find her. And she's hoping they can help her where the local police haven't. But Minnie doesn't exactly hit it off with Hap's wife Brett and they don't end up taking the case.

But the next thing they hear about poor old Minnie is that she was found a little bit dead. Burnt to a bloody crisp! Could Hap and Leonard have prevented it? It's a question that's going to keep them awake at night if they don't do something about it. And it's never like them to walk away when an innocent party has been wronged. So with the help of Brett they start to dig.

Even though Minnie was never their client, and was no longer alive to pay them even if she had been, they feel some kind of obligation to follow things up and find out what the hell happened. Was it all accidental or is there foul play at hand? Well the harder they look the worse things start to get. But isn't that always the case when Hap and Leonard are involved?

Final Thoughts

Sugar on the Bones was an absolute blast and a worthy continuation of the previous works. Just what I needed. Sometimes you take a break from a series and forget just how much you enjoy them.

Lansdale's ability as a storyteller hasn't changed and he's on form once again here. What you're getting is a fast paced, action packed mystery with plenty of off the wall humour. Honestly, if that ain't selling it to you then nothing will.

One thing that really stood out for me is that Hap and Leonard are starting to get pretty god damn old. Aren't we all! But it's great how Lansdale has managed this and put it across in a realistic way. They've still got their faults, and certain aspects of their character will never change, but they are certainly wiser in how they view things...most of the time...a little bit.

So I'll finish things off by making a heartfelt request. Please Joe don't let this be the last Hap and Leonard book. I've just realised that I'm not ready for that yet. Just next time make sure it's advertised a bit more so I can read it on release day. That's not too much to ask is it?

Thanks for reading and...cheers!

[Bill Riggs · Rating 4 out of 5]

Storyteller, Joe R. Lansdale, crafts a tale better than most other authors. The dialogue, settings and situations are pure East Texas. It’s like going home again, that is if your home is a twisted up, crazy Texas town populated by eccentric characters created out of a madman’s fever dream, but you can be sure that righteousness will eventually win out over the forces of darkness. There may be blood and bodies along the way but our intrepid and reluctant heroes will persevere.

[Alfonso D'agostino · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sarà che siamo al mare ma piove. E, si sa, il grigio di una giornata grigia sul mare grigio è più grigio della più grigia città grigia.

O sarà che ho finito l’ultimo Lansdale alle 5.20 di mattina con un gatto che insisteva ad utilizzare la mia faccia come il più comodo dei cuscini.

Però, ecco, “Zucchero sulle ossa” mi ha lasciato un pochino di malinconia.

Intendiamoci, le avventure di Hap & Leonard valgono sempre almeno quattro stelle: i due protagonisti costituiscono probabilmente l’accoppiata più efficace di genere degli ultimi lustri. I dialoghi - fra loro due in particolare - sono magnifici, un paio di pagine regalano purissimo divertimento e la scrittura di Lansdale, con quelle metafore non-elegantissime-eufemismo, allieta infinitamente.

Ma, cavolo, Hap & Leonard stanno invecchiando. Stavo scrivendo “come è giusto che sia”, ma no, non è mica giusto. Ci sono già io con un menisco stridulo a dire “oplà” quando mi alzo dal divano, e oggi avrei avuto bisogno di leggere che per qualcuno il tempo non passa, anche se è fatto di carta e inchiostro.

C’è il solito Texas sporco, cattivo, eppure venato di insospettabile tenerezza. C’è, soprattutto, una sottile aria di stanchezza, di fine della partita, di note finali dell’overture.

[Ben A · Rating 4 out of 5]

Champion Mojo Storyteller Joe R. Lansdale returns to Hap and Leonard after an extended absence and delivers a fun, well-done, if not spectacular novel. This one had a wild, mysterious plot and zigged and zagged all over the place in the way the later Hap and Leonard books have done. I'll say that while this one was wasn't up to the incredibly high standards of the earlier books, a weaker Hap and Leonard story or a weaker Lansdale story all together is still much better than quite a bit of what I read on a weekly basis. It had a one-last-ride feel to it and if this is the end, it certainly was a great, fun way to go out.

Special Thanks to Mulholland Books and Netgalley for the digital ARC. This was given to me for an honest review.

[Luca Masera · Rating 4 out of 5]

Zucchero sulle ossa si inserisce con forza malinconica nel ciclo di Hap e Leonard, confermando la capacità di Lansdale di fondere pulp, humour e riflessioni più amare. L’indagine è, come sempre, un pretesto narrativo per mettere in scena la straordinaria complicità di Hap e Leonard, sempre violenti, ironici e al tempo stesso teneri (straordinario un passaggio in cui Hap rimbocca le coperte a Leonard che si è addormentato).

Quello che però mi ha colpito di più è stato il lento insinuarsi del tempo: Hap e Leonard non sono più i ragazzi indistruttibili dei primi volumi. Il loro corpo li tradisce, la fatica pesa e nei dialoghi serpeggia il fantasma della fine. Lansdale, senza mai rinunciare al ritmo e al sarcasmo, lascia intravedere l’ombra della vecchiaia, come una patina che avvolge il loro legame indissolubile.

Ho riso e mi sono sporcato di sangue e sudore insieme a loro, come ogni volta, ma quando ho chiuso il libro mi è rimasta una sottile amarezza: la sensazione che anche gli eroi più vitali non possano sfuggire all’usura del tempo. Zucchero sulle ossa è un romanzo che, sotto la scorza dura del noir alla Lansdale, vibra di nostalgia e ci ricorda che ogni avventura porta con sé il peso di ciò che finisce.

[Abibliofob · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hap and Leonard is not your everyday heroes and they have a somewhat loose opinion on what is justice. Joe R. Lansdale has once again written a masterpiece but I didn't expect anything less from this author. Sugar on the Bones is the 13th book in this series and I really had fun reading it. I wish the tv series had gone on a little longer but it's sadly impossible due to Leonard not being around anymore. The story is as always well written and filled with witty dialogue and I was surprised that the duo left Texas to finish of the job. I will always recommend this series to people that wants a good book to read that is not like everything else.

[Jim Kownacki · Rating 5 out of 5]

This 13th installment of the Hap and Leonard series was worth the 5 year wait. An with an aging Hap and Leonard (they both mention getting older multiple times) and the return of some of their brothers and sisters in arms this is a rip roaring good time in east Texas but it made me think that this may be their last roundup.

[Sjgomzi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Like getting to hang out with old friends. ❤️ And still fun and hilarious after all these years. As long as Lansdale keeps writing them, I’ll keep buying and reading them.

[Paul · Rating 4 out of 5]

4*

More of Hap & Leonard's adventures and lots of fun. Possibly my favourite out of the most recent 3 H&L novels.

[Annissa · Rating 3 out of 5]

tre stelle e mezza

[Bobparr · Rating 4 out of 5]

Libro piacevolissimo, c’è da chiedersi come Lansdale faccia a scrivere sempre in modo così scorrevole, scorretto, divertente.
La trama è secondaria, lo svolgimento come di prammatica scoppiettante.

[J. Griff · Rating 4 out of 5]

I truly love this series & the characters within it. Lansdale has done such an amazing job. This book picks up a bit of time after “The Elephant of Surprise”. Things are going good in Hap & Brett’s marriage. Their daughter Chance is on her own with Reba (400 year old vampire) & Buffy the dog. Leonard & Pooky are getting closer & marriage might be in the works. The years are starting to catch up with both Hap & Leonard.
They get a tip from Marvin Hanson, now retired police chief, about a case & due to a misunderstanding fail to get hired by the client. The next day the client & her house is incinerated with Brett feeling guilty she, Hap & Leonard start poking around.
The humour in this book is softer than in previous novels, but still fun. The ending felt a bit rushed, but I get the feeling that this series is ending. Which I find tragic as I love all these characters.

[Tim Schneider · Rating 3 out of 5]

Hap and Leonard are back after a five year hiatus and I was able to work this in to my reading schedule a mere three months after publication. I've said before and I'll say again that Joe R. Lansdale is one of my favorite current authors and that I really love the characters of Hap Collins and Leonard Pine. That said, some of the later novels in the series have been hit and miss. I felt that the last entry, Elephant of Surprise, was one of the weakest in the series. Unfortunately, this one wasn't much better.

There's a bit of a feeling of closure in this one as we get most of the supporting characters from the series showing up and active. Brett, Hansen, Jim Bob Luke, and Vanilla Ride are here. But Chance and Reba, while mentioned, aren't. So if this is a closure, it's not full. I'll admit, I've never liked the character of Vanilla Ride. I've never felt she really fit the feel of the books and this time, as is often the case, she acts as a deus ex machina and I don't need that.

There are things to like here. Hap and Leonard feel much more in character than they did in Elephant, where they were seldom funny and suffered from late-stage John McClaneism. They're much more vulnerable here. They acknowledge they are aging and probably too old for this shit. Leonard wants to get out of the private investigator thing and marry Pookie. Hap wants to get out too, but he won't because it's Brett's business. I love that.

But it still suffers, as the series increasingly has from escalating threat syndrome. It's even mentioned that the villains here are almost cartoonishly supervillainously evil. It's too much. Hap and Leonard are just guys who get stuff done because it needs done and nobody else is going to do it. They aren't superheroes and shouldn't be. They have native intelligence and are well-trained and experienced martial artists...but they also just kind of muddle through in spite of themselves. The escalating threats have never set well with me.

All this seems pretty negative. And I guess it is. This is pretty easily in the bottom third of the books in the series. It's worth a read but it's weak Hap and Leonard and weak Lansdale.

[Craig Childs · Rating 3 out of 5]

"Nothing is about common sense anymore, and lies, not to mention stupid belief systems, are common currency."

Minnie Polson is a rich client who wants to hire Brett Sawyer Investigations to find her missing adult daughter, but after Brett makes an off-color joke about Minnie's pronouns, the deal falls apart…

When Minnie's house is burned to the ground two days later--only Minnie's crisped arm survives--Brett begins poking around, guilt-ridden that she may be responsible for the eccentric woman's demise…

Minnie's daughter Alice and her philandering ex-husband Al both stand to gain financially from Minnie's death. However, they both could be the targets of suspicious hangers-on in their lives who may be scamming them for the insurance money…

It is nice to catch up with Hap, Leonard, and their friends again after a five-year hiatus (six for me, because I somehow missed this book's release last year). There are a few niggling inconsistencies and gaps in the plot, but the boys are back to their old ways: wisecracking, getting into scrapes, and generally failing to adapt to modern life.

One prevalent source of humor comes from the fact that Hap, a pragmatic Vietnam-protesting Democrat, struggles to come to grips with the PC speak and the "woke" conformity demanded by liberals today. The right of everyone to speak their minds and live how they want to live is disappearing on both sides of the political spectrum.

As you might guess, the investigation into Minnie's murder uncovers a wide-ranging crime ring--things get serious with the return of Kung Fu Bobby! Murder, insurance scams, illegal organ harvesting, offshore money laundering.

Almost all the series' colorful secondary characters show up to help--Marvin Hanson, Martin Veil, Jim Bob Luke, and Vanilla Ride.

There are multiple life-and-death surprises that I don't want to spoil, but I did not see them coming.

This is not the best entry in the series. It is comfortable, like putting on a pair of well-worn sweatpants. There is a certain kick in the whole "team" showing up, but it also defuses the tension. The star power shifts the focus away from Hap and Leonard, which is a shame because they are still the most interesting characters.

3 stars

[Antonio Parrilla · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ho assegnato 3 stelle a Zucchero sulle ossa, una valutazione che non avrei pensato di dare a un romanzo con Hap e Leonard come protagonisti. È infatti la prima volta che questi personaggi, da sempre uno dei punti di forza di Lansdale, mi hanno restituito una sensazione di scarsa naturalezza.
L’elemento che più mi ha lasciato perplesso è proprio l’ironia, marchio di fabbrica dello stile dell’autore. Qui appare spesso forzata e caricaturale, come se i dialoghi e le battute cercassero deliberatamente l’effetto, invece di nascere in modo spontaneo dalla situazione o dalla personalità dei personaggi. Hap e Leonard sembrano talvolta imitare sé stessi, perdendo quella freschezza e quella autenticità che li hanno resi memorabili nei romanzi precedenti.
La trama resta solida e leggibile, e non manca l’abilità narrativa che da sempre contraddistingue Lansdale, ma il piacere della lettura ne risente proprio perché viene meno l’equilibrio tra azione, ironia e umanità che ha fatto la fortuna della serie.
Continuerò a dare fiducia all’autore, perché il suo talento è fuori discussione e il legame con questi personaggi resta forte. Mi auguro però che nei prossimi romanzi torni quella leggerezza naturale e quella vivacità autentica che hanno reso Hap e Leonard così unici.

[GONZA · Rating 4 out of 5]

The fact that several of the old friends (Hanson, John Bob, Veil, Vanilla) return in this adventure of Hap and Leonard is alarming to me because I have the impression that it is a farewell to one of the best series I have read in recent years. The pace is high, the exchanges between Leonard and Hap often leave me with tears in my eyes from laughing, as does the utter lack of romance in the romance between Brett and Hap. Someday, I will probably reread the whole series, but in the meantime I still enjoy the pleasant aftertaste of this latest novel.

Il fatto che in questa avventura di Hap e Leonard tornino parecchi dei vecchi amici (Hanson, Joe Bob, Veil, Vanilla), mi mette paura perché ho come l'impressione che sia un congedo da una delle serie migliori che mi sia capitato di leggere in questi ultimi anni. Il ritmo é alto, gli scambi tra Leonard ed Hap mi lasciano spesso le lacrime agli occhi dalle risate, cosí come l'assoluta mancanza di romanticismo nella storia d'amore tra Brett e Hap. Un giorno, probabilmente mi rileggeró tutta la serie, ma nel frattempo mi godo ancora il retrogusto piacevole di questo ultimo romanzo.

[Michael Fredette · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sugar on the Bones, Joe R. Lansdale [Little, Brown/ Mulholland Books, 2024].

Hap, Leonard, and Hap’s wife Brett investigate the murder of a prospective client and the client’s daughter’s disappearance, in a case involving double identities, financial malfeasance, police corruption, and a black market organ harvesting scheme. As always, Lansdale provides swift, violent action leavened by outrageous humor.

***
Joe R. Lansdale is the “champion Mojo storyteller” and “the last surviving Splatterpunk, sanctified in the blood of the walking Western dead.” (The Austin Chronicle) Most recently, Lansdale is the author of In the Mad Mountains, a collection of Weird Fiction drawn from Lovecraftian mythos. Lansdale is also a contributor to The End of the World as We Know It, an anthology inspired by Stephen King’s The Stand, coming in Summer 2025.

Notes: Sugar on the Bones was purchased via mail order from Yardstick Books in Algoma, WI.

[Justin Partridge · Rating 3 out of 5]

“All we did tonight was lie down in the goddamn dirt,” Leonard said.

“I’m okay with that,” I said.

Life in LaBorde County is changing for Hap and Leonard and all it takes is a little organ theft and multinational assassins to bring it into focus!

But seriously, this is a fun time. All of these so far have been a fun time and while I didn’t have the most context for all the side characters that end up rounding out the cast here, it’s still a pretty great time with the boys and Brett as they try to right a few of their own personal wrongs amid this entry’s main story.

I would say though, surely you would need to get a bit into these before tackling this one. Not only with the tone but also with just how breezy and staccato some of the chapters end up being. I could see that turning off a newcomer.

[Sylvia McIvers · Rating 2 out of 5]

Story started out OK - someone wants to hire detectives, and their house burns down that very night.

There's a clue in the charred bones found, I figured it out long before our detectives.
The mystery of the beauteous girlfriend, didn't see that one coming. Didn't find it believable, though.
The dialogue was... meh. Not actually bad, but not interesting.

Oh well.
This is my summer for new authors.
Win some, lose some.

[Brennan LaFaro · Rating 4 out of 5]

Joe Lansdale writing Hap & Leonard, it's like pulling the car into the driveway after time away from home. A sigh of relief and warm fuzzy touch of familiarity. Simply put, if you've enjoyed previous entries, you'll enjoy this one. If you've yet to dive in, Sugar on the Bones is as good a place as any, though my reader's heart demands you at least try to pick up Savage Season. Lansdale's ability to mature and age these character gracefully without sacrificing an ounce of entertaining should be studied, all these volumes in and never a dull moment. Sugar on the Bones boasts the anticipated twists, turns, and unusual detours with enough fart jokes to draw plenty of hearty laughs, enough violence to draw a wince and grimace or two, and some stakeouts with old friends. Add this one to your pile.

[Lyle Boylen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another great instalment in the Hap and Leonard series. Based on the story, could this be the last one.

[Jim · Rating 5 out of 5]

Certainly the funniest of the H&L series thus far. The language Lansdale gives his characters is damn near perfect.

[incipit mania]

Incipit
Potrei cominciare questa storia nel bel mezzo del momento piú serio, perché è stato brutto forte, molto peggio di quanto ci aspettavamo, e ci è piombato addosso da un’angolazione che quasi sfidava la geometria.
Continua su IncipitMania

[Maurizio Ferrero · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ormai ero rassegnato all'idea che il buon vecchio Joe avesse finito le idee e stesse scrivendo per inerzia, portando avanti fino allo stremo due personaggi iconici come Hap e Leonard invece di concedergli la meritata pensione.
Con Zucchero sulle Ossa mi sono dovuto ricredere, perché dopo un paio di episodi mediocri, il texano torna a regalarci una storia che no, non è al livello delle loro primissime indagini, ma appare come una ventata d'aria fresca che ci fa capire che sì, ogni tanto il vecchio Joe sta iniziando a mollare il tiro, ma sotto sotto è sempre lo stesso di una volta.
Letto in due giorni, con la mia compagna che ogni tanto alzava la testa e mi guardava stranita quando mi facevo qualche sghignazzata dopo una battutina caustica (Jim Bob Luke mi fa sempre scassare).

[Irene Murković · Rating 5 out of 5]

Un'eccellente ritorno dopo una lunga assenza, della coppia di eroi (e la loro formidabile claque) che non avresti mai pensato di amare cosi tanto, invece torni sempre li estasiato da questo Far West moderno, sperando che ce ne sia ancora ancora ancora....

Lansdale è a mio avviso un autore geniale, di quelli che piu di altri hanno creato un ambientazione reale, ma talmente reale che sembra di essere realmente li, a fianco di Hap e Leonard, mentre incappano nella prossima avventura. Pure LOVE.

[Bjørn Sørlien · Rating 5 out of 5]

"But I accept there are others that find it important. I think the bottom line is how well we treat people. You and I both try. Leonard tries sometimes. Of course, to be fair, sometimes we shoot people.”

Fun, brutal, and fast paced. And like always with Lansdale, there's heart underneath

[Jason Bovberg · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sugar on the Bones is a fun and hilarious Hap & Leonard adventure. There’s an overriding sense of simply enjoying the ride, of well-crafted characters—major and minor—chatting and finding their well-worn grooves. Whereas earlier adventures might have had deeper senses of danger, rougher times, and more eye-opening violence, Sugar on the Bones has that ephemeral notion of good guys shootin’ the shit and of savory adventures among old friends. There’s no getting around the sense that this book feels like a later one in a series, and for this reader anyway, there’s gratitude in that.

[Clint Jones · Rating 3 out of 5]

The threat is real for most of Sugar on the Bones... up until the end when only the threat of a possibility is real.

Similar to Game of Thrones, the reader learns that a hero in the Hap and Leonard stories isn't immune from being killed off, and this volume keeps the focus on mortality. The boys are older, their lives are more settled and they've grown to appreciate comfort more than adventure. In fact the only thing pulling them along at this point is their sense of justice.

"Just never occurred to me too often we could be killed. I mean, you're you and I'm me, and we have been through some serious shit. Nearly died but have always come out of things okay. Now I think about what we're doing and think maybe we won't come out okay."

Lansdale has culled the cast a bit, a move guaranteed to upset some fans I'm sure, but perfectly within his authorial rights. Did they earn their deaths? Maybe not: one is a shocker fueling motivation for revenge (as does any innocent victim along the way). But another more faithfully supports the theme of mortality and justice. It's a little more thematically warranted. It’s more contemplative, captured in this noteworthy passage:

"Life has gotten too heavy. It weighs on me when I lay down. Thought I'd come here and see the sunrise. I haven't seen one for about as long as I haven't slept. You'd think being awake so much, I'd see one, but I haven't. I didn't know I was missing seeing one until lately. I intend to see one this morning. Sun should rise where I'm looking. There's nothing in the way of my view besides memories.

The central crime of the story is pleasingly gruesome. Even though their old allies answer their desperate call (gun-for-hire Joe Bob Luke, assassin Vanilla Ride and even the lawyer Veil), Hap and Leonard are outwitted and only saved by luck.

Lansdale foreshadows the final assault in the first pages to hook you along. Action and fatality keeps the plot moving.

Wry and raunchy humor also pervades the story, which is no surprise for anyone who's already familiar with Lansdale’s work:

"I'm not in the mood, baby," she said.

"That's all right," I said. "Could you get in the mood?"

"Yep," Brett said. "Poor Pete. I feel sorry for him. About all he ever did was raise the temperature in a room."

... Vanilla repositioned herself. The way she moved was raw sexuality seasoned with hot sauce and pepper.

Brett gave me the side-eye, and I tried to think about cats, but that didn't lead to a good place either, so I thought about tacos, but that wasn't working for sure, and so I thought about a nice quiet place by the beach with me under a tree and the wind blowing and Brett holding a gun to my head, and that almost worked.

The similes are nearly all non-sequiturs, most of them didn't land for me, and while I love the "elephant of surprise" insider joke, it's a bit overused here if you've heard it before.

Surprisingly the villains aren't all that fleshed out. Details of their schemes and theories about their roles inside a larger organization are hypothetical. Hap and Leonard eventually meet one of them, but despite that they aren't very well-rounded. The criminals and their gang are ultimately no more than targets in a turkey shoot, especially in the finale.

Most of the points go to Vanilla while Hap and Leonard manage to remain unscathed and essentially spectators to the sniper action. Presumably the next novel will delve deeper into the shadowy organization hinted at in Elephant of Surprise and continued here in Sugar on the Bones, and put Purple Eyes back on the hook.

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was my first time to read one of Joe Lansdale’s books. Sugar on the Bones is #13 in Lansdale’s Hap and Leonard series, and while I was able to follow along pretty well, I’m sure I missed a lot of backstory in those first twelve books. I’d suggest starting at the beginning.

Hap and Leonard could have taken a job for Minnie Polson. But she apparently didn’t like their style, so she declined to retain their services. Next thing they hear, she’s dead. Burned to a crisp in a fire set with a purpose. Even though Minnie was never their client and was no longer alive to pay them even if she had been, they feel some kind of obligation to follow through on the case. The trail leads them to Minnie’s hard-done-by ex, Al, and a whole mess of trouble.

I’m not quite sure how to categorize this book. A little bit noir, a little bit off-beat humor, a lot of sarcasm, plenty of Texas color, and enough fart jokes to satisfy almost any 12-year-old boy, it’s not your normal detective fiction! Hap and Leonard may seem like an unlikely duo – Hap, a white East Texas boy who’s done some time, and Leonard, a gay Black Vietnam vet. They’re friends. They poke fun at each other, but you know they’ve got each other’s backs, and neither will let the other go alone into danger.

The characters were colorfully drawn, from our heroes to Hap’s wife Brett (who’s really the brains of their marriage – I liked Brett!) to Minnie’s ex Al, who seems like his lack of funds might give him a genuine motive to have done Minnie in. But come on – a guy who lives in an absolute dump of a trailer and is as upfront and genuine about the sad state of his affairs as anyone could be isn’t likely to be hiding a criminal side, is he? I was particularly entertained by the relationship Al had with the mice living in his couch. There’s Vanilla, a gorgeous woman who’s also a stone-cold assassin and an almost comically good shot, and Veil, whose relationship with Hap isn’t clearly defined but is clearly one that has them on good terms.

Hap and Leonard and their associates often find themselves in situations calling for violence, and Lansdale doesn’t shy away from describing the action in detail that sometimes left me a little queasy. The older I get, the less I seem to like vividly brutal fight scenes. If you share my sentiment, you may turn those pages a little faster, too.

Overall, the story was a lot of fun. Hap and Leonard are a crime-solving duo that’s easy to cheer for, and Brett does her best to keep them on an even keel. I have boys, so I’m in favor of fart jokes. If I skip past the violent bits, I enjoy the rest of the story just fine – enough that I plan to read the series to get Hap and Leonard’s history. Sugar on the Bones may not be everybody’s cup of tea, but if it sounds like it could be your shot of whiskey, give it a read!

[Lynn Poppe · Rating 4 out of 5]

SUGAR ON THE BONES is book 13 in the Hap & Leonard series and my first fore into their adventures. But certainly, it won't be my last! 
The novel is fast paced and action filled, with multiple shoot-outs, disappearances, deaths, and even a boat chase. A page-turner to be sure.
I thoroughly enjoyed the witticisms, sarcasm, and colloquial language in the novel. 
Multiple crimes and mysteries occur within the novel. It starts with a suspicious death due to arson and rolls into possible alien abductions and other conspiracy theories. There's a reveal halfway through the novel that would normally be closer to the end for a wrap up. But not here! There was still half a book left of action and adventure to experience before the conclusion of the novel. 
The mysteries are the initial appeal, but for me, it's the humor that kept me entertained. But this humor is not for the easily offended, either conservative or liberal. The characters do not shy away from any topic! I found myself chuckling and highlighting many passages like this one: 
"It was just under a carport that was big enough to house a couple of tanks, a bulldozer, and perhaps a trio of tricycles if you shoved them in tight."
I don't know about you, but I certainly have a clear picture of that carport in my mind after this passage. Plus the juxtaposition of tricycles and tanks is very comical! 
It's interesting that this series is labeled as Hap's and Leonard's when it's clear to me that there are so many more characters in this story. We have the titular Hap and Leonard, Hap's wife Brett, as well as some contract and colorful muscle, cops, and a sprinkling of a few teenagers at the gym rounding out a large collection of distinctive characters. I did struggle in the beginning of the novel with figuring out who all the characters were and what parts they play in the novel. This is book 13 in the series after all! But once the action started, I was able to distinguish the different characters. My favorite characters are Hap and Brett. Hap for his straight-forward attitude and Brett for being the brains of the operation. 
Who else do you know that has a blackjack and a compact in the same purse! 
As stated above, I did struggle at the beginning of the novel with keeping track of the different characters. I was able to follow the plot without any issues. But felt like I was missing some backstory and history with starting the series at book #13. 
Shout out for all those readers looking for the book title drop in the text. This novel has a humdinger of a title call out. 
With original characters, action, multiple mysteries, and plenty of amusing scenes, SUGAR ON THE BONES kept me turning pages and engrossed throughout. Check this one out!