Bloody Hell! And Other Stories

by Mona Eltahawy (Editor)

Featuring 17 essays from people all around the world, Bloody Hell! is a collection of adventures in menopause from across the personal and political spectrum that aims to light a fire of shamelessness and break the boundaries surrounding this ‘taboo’ topic.

As a feminist of colour who often resorts to writing what she has long wanted to read, editor Mona Eltahawy has seen first-hand how when a movement takes a brave dive into the deep end of a taboo, representation can be limited. Bloody Hell! is the antidote.

This is not a medical textbook, nor is it a guide on how to remedy or fix anything. Rather, it is a collection of menopausal individuals – women, transmasculine and non-binary people – with their own entry point into that transition who can share unique insights and anecdotes about menopause that are deeply intimate, highly informative and hugely relatable.

Menopause can be a confusing and anxiety-ridden time spent navigating the unknown. However, it can also be an opportunity for transformation, liberation and self-love. Bloody Hell! is a chance for new beginnings, knowledge and power and these essays encourage us to embrace the messy and beautiful nature of change.

Genres: Nonfiction

272 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2025

About the author

Mona Eltahawy is an award-winning writer on Arab and Muslim issues and global feminism.

She is the author of Headscarves and Hymens: Why the Middle East Needs a Sexual Revolution (2015) and The Seven Necessary Sins for Women and Girls (2019), founder of the newsletter Feminist Giant, and a regular contributor to The Guardian.

Reviews

[Heather Browning · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book of stories and essays on the diverse and varied experiences of menopause - across race, culture, religion, gender, sexuality, age, body type; many voices that are often missed in these discussions. While they explore many positives and negatives the overall tone felt positive - although there’s some exploration of grief and loss, there’s really not as much as I'd have expected, with most feeling optimistic and grounded. The recurring themes were change and rebirth, liberation, describing a time to really find and define or reinvent yourself. There was also cool pieces of artwork throughout, giving Zine vibes.

[Mahin · Rating 3 out of 5]

okay, wow! i have a personal grudge against the "blank spot" (as M'kali-Hashiki calls it), the absence of discussion about women over thirty, because if it did not exist, i could have helped my mother better with her menopause transition. "why does pop culture depict feminity as 'nubile prepubescent' to 'hot twenties' to 'grandmahood'?"

we all know the aunty and grandma stereotypes. the lonely cat ladies, the shunned mothers, the eccentric ones always shouting from their porches. but do we know anything deeper, anything about the years before, during, and after their menopause? anything beyond symptoms of "ageing"?

informative, wise, raw, honest, and hilarious, Bloody Hell combines the perspectives of a brilliant cohort of writers from different backgrounds to raise hell with a "sledgehammer" and to shout what other women are looking for. the question of ends and new beginnings and struggles with patriarchal medical systems and gynaes, body dysmorphia, diet culture, brain fog, iron deficiency anemia, fatphobia are common, everyday experiences and they all have a place in this book.

my issue with it though was that there was no representation for stay-at-homes so it got repetitive really fast. it is distinctly missing women who don't have a paragraph-long bio because they were never given the freedom or opportunity. this is a glaring mistake that undermines the purpose of the book. furthermore, some of the medical assumptions and endorsements were heavily generalised and should be taken with a grain of salt.

[Maya Roels · Rating 5 out of 5]

Een must-read voor elke mens, zo sterk geschreven en divers om elkaars beleving van het leven beter te begrijpen.

[Rita · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was so excited to receive an advanced copy of this essay collection, and it absolutely delivered! Even though I'm not experiencing menopause myself, I’ve long been aware of how little I knew about it. Menopause is something half the population will go through, yet it’s still surrounded by stigma and silence. I was especially curious to read stories from women, trans, and non-binary people, since most of the menopause narratives we do hear centre cis white women’s experiences.

This book tackles that silence head-on. As Mona Eltahawy writes:

"For too long, the menopause transition has been surrounded by shame and silence. Silence fuels shame. Shame perpetuates silence. Patriarchy deploys shame like a drone: it shadows you, ready to take you out any minute, exhausting you by keeping you forever aware of its presence, to the detriment of all other things that you could be investing your attention in."

The essays are raw, honest, and sometimes painful to read. People share their struggles with symptoms like rage, brain fog, and body changes - often while being dismissed by doctors. But what struck me most were the stories that broadened my perspective on who experiences menopause. One of the most powerful essays highlights the experiences of trans men and non-binary people:
"Trans folks bleed too. Nonbinary folks bleed. Trans men bleed. To bleed does not make one ‘female’ and to be female does not always make one bleed."

I loved that this book brought in a global perspective, with contributors from different countries and cultures. It shows how menopause can be shaped not just by biology, but also by race, class, gender identity, and access to healthcare. Some stories are deeply personal and brutally honest about the challenges of menopause - from hot flashes and insomnia to the loss of identity and invisibility in society. But there’s also humour, joy, and resilience.

I finished the book thinking, Why don’t more people talk about this? As one contributor says:
"Why didn’t anyone tell me what was going to happen to my mind and body? Why is this a big secret? If half the human race will spend just about half their lives in menopause, why are doctors so reluctant to talk or ignorant about this?"

This collection isn’t just for people going through menopause - it’s for anyone who wants to understand what half the population experiences and why silence around it needs to end. I found it incredibly informative, provocative, and full of heart.

4.5/5 ⭐

Thank you to NetGalley for the advanced copy in exchange for my honest review!

[Tutankhamun18 · Rating 3 out of 5]

“A feminist evolutionary approach would never think to ask why women live past their reproductive utility. A feminist approach would be satisfied with women's existence: women exist to exist. What if the point of menopause is women's being? Freedom. That women get to be themselves for THEMSELVES without purpose for OTHERS. What if the revolutionary evolutionary purpose of menopause is women's freedom? One of the things that has struck me about older women in the later stages of the menopause transition is their enthusiasm and excitement whenever we discuss the menopause transition. Yes, we gripe about the hot flashes and laugh about the mood swings, but without fail, every single one of these women, be they employees, entrepreneurs, married, divorced, separated or never married, has told me that this is the best stage of their lives, that they feel more confident in who they are, more satisfied with their bodies and themselves. More free. So much of the attention on menopause is on the unpleasant physical manifestations - the irritability, mood swings, hot flashes (and I don't mean to minimise them; 1 am writing through some of the most intense hot flashes now) - and not enough on the power and possibility of this time for women. Add to this the medicalised and pathologised model of menopause, which treats the menopause as a disease to be managed - an aberration or deviation from the norm, thrusting women into the background, reducing us to our symptoms. This medicalisation of menopause, particularly prominent in the global north/global minority but being aggressively exported around the world, reduces women to medical subjects, and in so doing emphasises all the ways in which women can be 'fixed'. And fixing is at cost, resulting in the increasing commercialisation of menopause. This isn't an argument against the treatment of menopause symptoms; rather, it is an attempt to distinguish between narratives that equate women to their menopause symptoms and ones that recognise physical symptoms of menopause as only one aspect of a more complicated process, one that is biological but also social and cultural.”

[Madison Pollard-Shore · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a book! This book really forced me to reckon with the fact that all I have ever known about the menopause are the symptoms - hot flashes, brain fog, mood swings.

This book doesn't so much ask each of the authors about their medical experience of the menopause, although that does feature in almost every story. Rather, the recurring theme is about the social and cultural experience of the menopause transition.

What does it mean to be a woman when you are no longer fertile, and society views you as useless? It was inspiring to see these people, women, trans men and other GNC individuals discover their true self and embrace it.

This book has me almost excited for what is bound to be an interesting, if challenging time of life!

[RecycledWords · Rating 4 out of 5]

A beautiful anthology of diverse voices sharing stories and experiences surrounding menopause.

I learned so much from this anthology and loved the range of voices and experiences presented. There were a few of the narratives which I found less engaging and a bit repetitive perhaps because the experiences were similar to that of the previous contributor but otherwise absolutely unputdownable.

I would highly recommend this for anyone more interested in a multi-faceted, inclusive anthology on women and people with wombs' experience of the menopause.

Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for the ARC. All opinions are my own.

[Stacey Mckeogh · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh my god....THIS F**KING BOOK!!!! Empowering, inspiring, honest and raw.
The essays in this book break down the secrecy and shame surrounding menopause that the patriarchy has manipulated to make us believe that we are transitioning into barren, useless, shrivelled old ladies! That this time of a woman's life is when she becomes obsolete!
This book is a must-read for all women!! Yes, the menopause can be really hard for some (most) but this book opens up the conversation, that half the population is going to go through this transition and WE ARE NOT ALONE!!!!

[Francesca Pashby]

I was inspired by the rage in Eltahawy's 2019 book, "The seven necessary sins of women and girls", and followed this feisty feminist on her socials ... which led to me donating to the crowdfunding that led to this book.

And whilst it wasn't exactly to my taste and I didn't learn as much as I hoped from it, I'm still very glad it is there - serving far more marginalised communities than my own.

[Robin · Rating 3 out of 5]

I loved the variety of voices in this book. There was so much representation - people of color, essays from members of the LGBTQ+ community, and more. A few of the essays were a little too academic or out-there for my liking. I also wish that there would have been more factual information on menopause in this book.

[Holly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really great essays. I loved the line "I realized that body acceptance is not just something you do once. It's something you do again and again until you die because the body keeps changing and, in fact, ramps up its efforts around menopause." - Kimberly Dark. And I also refuse to wear hard pants!!!

[Michaeleen Davis · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5