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I Don't
Incendiary feminist and bestselling author Clementine Ford presents the inarguable case against marriage for the modern woman. Provocative, controversial and above all, compellingly and persuasively argued.
I want this book to end marriages. But more importantly, I want it to prevent marriages. Women are allowed to aspire to more than what we've been told we should want in order to be happy. Let yourself have a bigger dream than becoming the supporting role in someone else's story.
Why, when there is so much evidence of the detrimental, suffocating impact marriage has on women's lives, does the myth of marital bliss still prevail? If the feminist project has been so successful, why do so many women still believe that our value is intrinsically tied to being chosen by a man?
In her most incendiary and controversial book to date, Clementine Ford exposes the lies used to sell marriage to women to keep them in service to men and male power. From the roots of marriage as a form of property transaction to the wedding industrial complex, Clementine Ford explains how capitalist patriarchal structures need women to believe in marriage in order to maintain control over women's agency, ambitions and freedom.
I Don't presents an inarguable case against marriage for modern women. With the incisive attention to detail and razor-sharp wit that characterises her work, Ford dissects the patriarchal history of marriage; the insidious, centuries-long marketing campaign pop culture has conducted in marriage's favour; the illusion of feminist 'choice' in regard to taking men's names; and the physical and social cost that comes with motherhood.
But most importantly, Clementine Ford shows us what a different kind of world could look like for women if we were allowed to be truly free.
'A liberating alternative perspective on the happily-ever-after take we are sold our whole lives. I often had to rest the book on my chest, close my eyes and whisper "I knew it!"' -Chrissie Swan
'With her signature wit, insight and galvanising ferocity, Clementine Ford lifts the veil on marriage, revealing the history and present of misogyny, violence and oppression that festers behind the fairy tale. I Don't is an exhilarating invitation to see marriage for what it is—a building block of patriarchy—and imagine new ways of living, loving and building family.' -Yves Rees
'Wow. An incredible argument smashing the archaic constructs of society. Clementine's articulate brilliance is exactly what I needed to read as a young woman fighting against the ceilings in the public eye and in everyday life. This book made me feel less alone in my anger and will carve space for hope in our future.' -Jaguar Jonze
'An incredible work. Robust, funny, erudite and Clem Ford at the height of her power. This book will finish what Clem's other books started and change the world forever.' -Alice Robinson
I want this book to end marriages. But more importantly, I want it to prevent marriages. Women are allowed to aspire to more than what we've been told we should want in order to be happy. Let yourself have a bigger dream than becoming the supporting role in someone else's story.
Why, when there is so much evidence of the detrimental, suffocating impact marriage has on women's lives, does the myth of marital bliss still prevail? If the feminist project has been so successful, why do so many women still believe that our value is intrinsically tied to being chosen by a man?
In her most incendiary and controversial book to date, Clementine Ford exposes the lies used to sell marriage to women to keep them in service to men and male power. From the roots of marriage as a form of property transaction to the wedding industrial complex, Clementine Ford explains how capitalist patriarchal structures need women to believe in marriage in order to maintain control over women's agency, ambitions and freedom.
I Don't presents an inarguable case against marriage for modern women. With the incisive attention to detail and razor-sharp wit that characterises her work, Ford dissects the patriarchal history of marriage; the insidious, centuries-long marketing campaign pop culture has conducted in marriage's favour; the illusion of feminist 'choice' in regard to taking men's names; and the physical and social cost that comes with motherhood.
But most importantly, Clementine Ford shows us what a different kind of world could look like for women if we were allowed to be truly free.
'A liberating alternative perspective on the happily-ever-after take we are sold our whole lives. I often had to rest the book on my chest, close my eyes and whisper "I knew it!"' -Chrissie Swan
'With her signature wit, insight and galvanising ferocity, Clementine Ford lifts the veil on marriage, revealing the history and present of misogyny, violence and oppression that festers behind the fairy tale. I Don't is an exhilarating invitation to see marriage for what it is—a building block of patriarchy—and imagine new ways of living, loving and building family.' -Yves Rees
'Wow. An incredible argument smashing the archaic constructs of society. Clementine's articulate brilliance is exactly what I needed to read as a young woman fighting against the ceilings in the public eye and in everyday life. This book made me feel less alone in my anger and will carve space for hope in our future.' -Jaguar Jonze
'An incredible work. Robust, funny, erudite and Clem Ford at the height of her power. This book will finish what Clem's other books started and change the world forever.' -Alice Robinson
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First published October 31, 2023
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About the author
Clementine Ford
8 books864 followersClementine Ford is a freelance writer, broadcaster and public speaker based in Melbourne. She writes on feminism, pop culture and social issues.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 342 reviews
November 3, 2023
I wanted to cheer when I finished this. ‘I Don’t’ is smart, well researched, very funny, often deeply sarcastic and life-affirming in the extreme. As a happily unmarried woman, I am the choir to which this book is preaching, and I want to go and thrust it into the hands of every woman in her 20s who thinks marriage will make her happy and enough. GIRL, you’re already enough!! Im sure I didn’t listen to women in their late 30s when I was a young lass, but how I WISH I could show the me of 10 years ago just how happy and relaxed and calm I am now, getting to look after myself with my own money and do exactly what I want. That young woman thought she wanted to get married, she wanted someone to pick her - to show that she was worthy. I am so relieved that it didn’t happen and that I get to live entirely on my own terms now. Clem does the most magnificent job of exploring WHY women might grow up wanting to get married, the socialisation that leads women to regard caring for others over and above themselves as part of some sort of inevitable (and desirable) destiny. She explores the history of marriage, of coverture, of the wedding industry (capitalism! fun!), of fairytales, and unpacks the ways marriage upholds patriarchy. It’s pretty angry, but fuck me if there isn’t plenty of reason to be angry at the way women have been owned by men for forever. There is some seriously eye-opening stuff in this book. But it’s not just angry - it’s funny, moving, educative, and encouraging! FIVE STARS and zero engagement rings!
November 7, 2023
Currently 28 and in the midst of an instagram feed filled with weddings, engagements, hens parties - the lot. This book is so smart, funny, and heartbreaking at the same time. It says everything I’ve felt for a few years now and have never been able to articulate myself. I want to buy 100 copies and give them to every woman I know. This has changed my life.
January 15, 2024
Let's get into it.
I Don't: The Case Against Marriage is about the institution of marriage and how damaging it has been, and is to this day, for women.
I Don’t is split into four sections, but the first two sections is focused on covering historical ground of not just the history of marriage but also the way men have used gender, money, and law to remove or undermine women’s' rights, and how marriage has been weaponised from the beginning in favour of maintaining their own male privilege.
The highlight of this read and the writing in general was, I felt, was the pop-culture sections in the last two parts of the book, and Ford’s personal anecdotes (especially the proposal chapter and the few end ones) which is where her arguments really crystallised in tandem with her writing.
However, I cannot in good conscience recommend this book. Personally, I am someone who is not only anti-marriage but very strongly preaches it in my day-to-day life, so I am more shocked than anyone that I didn't enjoy this.
There a few reasons I didn't enjoy this: the focus on America, the focus on mainly white middle-class women (the author addresses in the prologue that this is because that is largely her experience but did that mean that no research could be done/the entire focus had to be about that demographic?), the conflicting writing style, and most of all, the referencing (or lack of it).
For those latter points, those were the biggest obstacles to me enjoying or even wanting to recommend this. I think that the way the rage and information (especially at the beginning) is expressed is an interesting choice, but to me it felt like it was often getting in the way of the arguments Ford was making.
I feel like I understand, in terms of accessibility, the choice for a more colloquial writing style at the beginning but:
1) This falls away pretty quickly in the second half and
2) This actually makes the book feel less accessible to people picking this up who may not already necessarily agree with every worldview Ford has.
However, when Ford moves away from the online colloquialisms and verbose and into a more structured writing style, she really truly shines. There were also many moments where I thought Ford made some very adept and astute observations or historical tidbits, but either got caught up writing them like they were an instagram post, or wrote them well but provided little to no evidence or sourcing for those tidbits.
Which leads me into my biggest criticism: there was no footnoting, no bibliography - only a tiny section at the back titled 'Notes." The notes section for each chapter was extremely short - mainly only listing sources if they were directly quoted or Ford directly mentioned an author she was paraphrasing.
That sounds fine! Except the problem is that there were many broad historical claims or sections of the book without the above, but were stating facts about history with no evidence cited or anything to back it up. In fact, the only reason I noticed this early on, was because of the very interesting and fascinating section in Chapter 2 ('Cat Lady') which examines how the history of beer brewing originated as a female profession.
“The Ancient Sumerians worshipped the goddess Ninkasi, whose name translates to 'mistress of beer,' and celebrated her with a hymn containing what is now the world's oldest-known beer recipe, which included the soaking of malt in a jar and the spreading of cooked mash on large reed mats. Ceremonial, for sure, but also a clever way to make sure the recipe would never be forgotten. The Ancient Egyptians surpassed the Sumerians as master brewers, with smoother, silkier concoctions that could be drunk from a cup or a glass instead of the bowls 'n' straws combo favoured by the Sumerians.
This sounds like an incredible thing I’d love to learn more about! – only there is not a single source or reference to back this up or to be found anywhere. Once I noticed this, it made it very difficult for me to trust anything Ford was writing, as I quickly realised that most of the historicity didn’t have any evidence for it whatsoever.
Another example that comes late in the book, that I also wish I could have followed up on (for personal interest!):
“The original version of the Little Mermaid was written by Hans Christian Andersen in 1837, and it was an allegory for the terrible pain of unrequited queer love. Christian Andersen had fallen in love with a friend who was engaged to be married. When he confessed his feelings to the young man in question, Christian Andersen was told that they could never be reciprocated.”
I can’t tell if this is genuine fact (I couldn’t check if I wanted to!) or if this is just some very sly opinion of the author that’s being presented as fact.
There would even be throwaway lines, facts presented without any evidence that Ford bases her arguments on (and that we are supposed to just trust her on?) such as:
“Thanks to science, we know that trauma can be passed down through a genetic line.”
Or:
“Globally , the maternal mortality rate (MMR) is 810 deaths per day. That amounts to 295,650 women dying per year. Although there can be underlying causes, three-quarters of maternal deaths during childbirth are caused by severe bleeding, high blood pressure, pregnancy complications and/or complications from unsafe abortions.
Or:
“The Visigothic Code – a set of laws that brought Romans and Germanic people together under one rule in the mid-seventh century – emphasised greater rights for women than had previously existed; they could possess property and their own money, but they were also afford more protection if they found themselves being ghosted by fuckbois whose promises to marry them disappeared at the same time as their hard-on, taking the women’s virtue with them but potentially leaving behind a now-illegitimate child.”
Or:
“A recent survey of almost nine hundred women in Hong Kong conducted by the company De Beers found that, while most of these women were happy to have smaller weddings, they considered a carefully staged proposal to be of paramount important and necessary to ensure a positive experience overall.”
Or:
“They [men] live longer, they register as being happier and their mental health scores are higher. Married men also tend to be more economically secure because workplaces see them as a safer bet. On the contrary, in comparison to married women, single women live longer, report higher levels of happiness and have greater economic opportunities.”
I’m not kidding when I say there is no evidence for any of this (are they facts or opinion or real case studies??? How would I know??)
I could go on and on. It would be impossible for me to list every example of this, as it would be almost the entire book of I Don’t. There is a reading list past the notes, but a reading list is a very different beast from a bibliography.
It may seem a frivolous thing to point out to some, but I feel this is genuinely dangerous to present so much information as either assumed (and therefore in no need of referencing) or without evidence (assuming the reader will take Ford’s word for it).
I genuinely kept checking and triple checking the ‘notes’ lists for each chapter, as if I was somehow misreading the sources, as if somehow more sources would magically grow if I kept flipping back to it.
It’s a shame, because this book has real potential, and I feel like it could be much greater & useful to many people out there, but it really does fall apart under too close an examination.
Ultimately I feel it’s a dangerous read to take at face value, especially as I know many people will (and aren’t history nerds who usually read bibliographies to find their next read), and if you do pick this up, then do so with several large grains of salt.
I Don't: The Case Against Marriage is about the institution of marriage and how damaging it has been, and is to this day, for women.
I Don’t is split into four sections, but the first two sections is focused on covering historical ground of not just the history of marriage but also the way men have used gender, money, and law to remove or undermine women’s' rights, and how marriage has been weaponised from the beginning in favour of maintaining their own male privilege.
The highlight of this read and the writing in general was, I felt, was the pop-culture sections in the last two parts of the book, and Ford’s personal anecdotes (especially the proposal chapter and the few end ones) which is where her arguments really crystallised in tandem with her writing.
However, I cannot in good conscience recommend this book. Personally, I am someone who is not only anti-marriage but very strongly preaches it in my day-to-day life, so I am more shocked than anyone that I didn't enjoy this.
There a few reasons I didn't enjoy this: the focus on America, the focus on mainly white middle-class women (the author addresses in the prologue that this is because that is largely her experience but did that mean that no research could be done/the entire focus had to be about that demographic?), the conflicting writing style, and most of all, the referencing (or lack of it).
For those latter points, those were the biggest obstacles to me enjoying or even wanting to recommend this. I think that the way the rage and information (especially at the beginning) is expressed is an interesting choice, but to me it felt like it was often getting in the way of the arguments Ford was making.
I feel like I understand, in terms of accessibility, the choice for a more colloquial writing style at the beginning but:
1) This falls away pretty quickly in the second half and
2) This actually makes the book feel less accessible to people picking this up who may not already necessarily agree with every worldview Ford has.
However, when Ford moves away from the online colloquialisms and verbose and into a more structured writing style, she really truly shines. There were also many moments where I thought Ford made some very adept and astute observations or historical tidbits, but either got caught up writing them like they were an instagram post, or wrote them well but provided little to no evidence or sourcing for those tidbits.
Which leads me into my biggest criticism: there was no footnoting, no bibliography - only a tiny section at the back titled 'Notes." The notes section for each chapter was extremely short - mainly only listing sources if they were directly quoted or Ford directly mentioned an author she was paraphrasing.
That sounds fine! Except the problem is that there were many broad historical claims or sections of the book without the above, but were stating facts about history with no evidence cited or anything to back it up. In fact, the only reason I noticed this early on, was because of the very interesting and fascinating section in Chapter 2 ('Cat Lady') which examines how the history of beer brewing originated as a female profession.
“The Ancient Sumerians worshipped the goddess Ninkasi, whose name translates to 'mistress of beer,' and celebrated her with a hymn containing what is now the world's oldest-known beer recipe, which included the soaking of malt in a jar and the spreading of cooked mash on large reed mats. Ceremonial, for sure, but also a clever way to make sure the recipe would never be forgotten. The Ancient Egyptians surpassed the Sumerians as master brewers, with smoother, silkier concoctions that could be drunk from a cup or a glass instead of the bowls 'n' straws combo favoured by the Sumerians.
This sounds like an incredible thing I’d love to learn more about! – only there is not a single source or reference to back this up or to be found anywhere. Once I noticed this, it made it very difficult for me to trust anything Ford was writing, as I quickly realised that most of the historicity didn’t have any evidence for it whatsoever.
Another example that comes late in the book, that I also wish I could have followed up on (for personal interest!):
“The original version of the Little Mermaid was written by Hans Christian Andersen in 1837, and it was an allegory for the terrible pain of unrequited queer love. Christian Andersen had fallen in love with a friend who was engaged to be married. When he confessed his feelings to the young man in question, Christian Andersen was told that they could never be reciprocated.”
I can’t tell if this is genuine fact (I couldn’t check if I wanted to!) or if this is just some very sly opinion of the author that’s being presented as fact.
There would even be throwaway lines, facts presented without any evidence that Ford bases her arguments on (and that we are supposed to just trust her on?) such as:
“Thanks to science, we know that trauma can be passed down through a genetic line.”
Or:
“Globally , the maternal mortality rate (MMR) is 810 deaths per day. That amounts to 295,650 women dying per year. Although there can be underlying causes, three-quarters of maternal deaths during childbirth are caused by severe bleeding, high blood pressure, pregnancy complications and/or complications from unsafe abortions.
Or:
“The Visigothic Code – a set of laws that brought Romans and Germanic people together under one rule in the mid-seventh century – emphasised greater rights for women than had previously existed; they could possess property and their own money, but they were also afford more protection if they found themselves being ghosted by fuckbois whose promises to marry them disappeared at the same time as their hard-on, taking the women’s virtue with them but potentially leaving behind a now-illegitimate child.”
Or:
“A recent survey of almost nine hundred women in Hong Kong conducted by the company De Beers found that, while most of these women were happy to have smaller weddings, they considered a carefully staged proposal to be of paramount important and necessary to ensure a positive experience overall.”
Or:
“They [men] live longer, they register as being happier and their mental health scores are higher. Married men also tend to be more economically secure because workplaces see them as a safer bet. On the contrary, in comparison to married women, single women live longer, report higher levels of happiness and have greater economic opportunities.”
I’m not kidding when I say there is no evidence for any of this (are they facts or opinion or real case studies??? How would I know??)
I could go on and on. It would be impossible for me to list every example of this, as it would be almost the entire book of I Don’t. There is a reading list past the notes, but a reading list is a very different beast from a bibliography.
It may seem a frivolous thing to point out to some, but I feel this is genuinely dangerous to present so much information as either assumed (and therefore in no need of referencing) or without evidence (assuming the reader will take Ford’s word for it).
I genuinely kept checking and triple checking the ‘notes’ lists for each chapter, as if I was somehow misreading the sources, as if somehow more sources would magically grow if I kept flipping back to it.
It’s a shame, because this book has real potential, and I feel like it could be much greater & useful to many people out there, but it really does fall apart under too close an examination.
Ultimately I feel it’s a dangerous read to take at face value, especially as I know many people will (and aren’t history nerds who usually read bibliographies to find their next read), and if you do pick this up, then do so with several large grains of salt.
November 9, 2023
Eh, I'm not a fan of her earlier books, but this is the most out-of-touch yet.
The "abolition of marriage" concept in Western countries is second wave and needs to stay there. Very little mention of the only places where marriage is actually something that undermines human rights: the US Bible belt, parts of the Middle East etc.
It's incredibly condescending (as usual), and she's almost made it full-circle to self parody. Get yourself some intelligent young Millenial feminist writing - Jia Tolentino, Roxane Gay, ... at least Lindy West is actually funny.
Trans rights, disability rights, and the fight for the option of choosing 'same sex' marriage are all much more important than yet another whyte cis ablebodied wealthy woman telling you what her experiences are and assuming you're stupid or uninformed if you disagree.
My marriage is one of the best choices I've ever made - and if you don't want to get married... it's almost like, in Australia, there's no reason you would?
This isn't it, sis cis.
The "abolition of marriage" concept in Western countries is second wave and needs to stay there. Very little mention of the only places where marriage is actually something that undermines human rights: the US Bible belt, parts of the Middle East etc.
It's incredibly condescending (as usual), and she's almost made it full-circle to self parody. Get yourself some intelligent young Millenial feminist writing - Jia Tolentino, Roxane Gay, ... at least Lindy West is actually funny.
Trans rights, disability rights, and the fight for the option of choosing 'same sex' marriage are all much more important than yet another whyte cis ablebodied wealthy woman telling you what her experiences are and assuming you're stupid or uninformed if you disagree.
My marriage is one of the best choices I've ever made - and if you don't want to get married... it's almost like, in Australia, there's no reason you would?
This isn't it, sis cis.
May 12, 2025
I had high hopes for this book. I loved, and was ultimately influenced, by Jia Tolentino’s ‘I Thee Dread’ essay in ‘Trick Mirror’, and thought this book might operate as an extension of that essay.
It’s a very binary argument overall, and a rather repetitive one. Sometimes, I found myself wondering what the point of certain chapters were because they weren’t that different from the previous one. The tone Ford takes on becomes sluggish and fueled with sarcasm and irony that feels bitter and gets boring.
Ford often mentions the legal commitment which marriage is, and yet completely bypasses any mention of de facto relationships which, in the country she lives in, after two years are barely legally decipherable from marriage contracts. Additionally, she doesn’t ever really consider this idea of love, or partnership, and how it might exist in any capacity outside of institutional marriage, which ultimately feels like a huge blindspot.
Her referencing is spotty, choosing to mention bits of information about certain sources, or completely bypassing a referencing when talking about some form of historical fact. I’m entirely unsure what kind of referencing is used in the works cited section, but it’s not one I’ve come across as a PhD student and academic tutor at universities. I mean, she even poorly summarises and paraphrases Susan Faludi’s ‘Backlash’, and misses moments to use very obvious feminist and academic sources to butter up her arguments.
I think there are better feminist texts out there, with more thorough research and a more (necessary) objective tone.
It’s a very binary argument overall, and a rather repetitive one. Sometimes, I found myself wondering what the point of certain chapters were because they weren’t that different from the previous one. The tone Ford takes on becomes sluggish and fueled with sarcasm and irony that feels bitter and gets boring.
Ford often mentions the legal commitment which marriage is, and yet completely bypasses any mention of de facto relationships which, in the country she lives in, after two years are barely legally decipherable from marriage contracts. Additionally, she doesn’t ever really consider this idea of love, or partnership, and how it might exist in any capacity outside of institutional marriage, which ultimately feels like a huge blindspot.
Her referencing is spotty, choosing to mention bits of information about certain sources, or completely bypassing a referencing when talking about some form of historical fact. I’m entirely unsure what kind of referencing is used in the works cited section, but it’s not one I’ve come across as a PhD student and academic tutor at universities. I mean, she even poorly summarises and paraphrases Susan Faludi’s ‘Backlash’, and misses moments to use very obvious feminist and academic sources to butter up her arguments.
I think there are better feminist texts out there, with more thorough research and a more (necessary) objective tone.
November 18, 2023
Let’s put ‘l don’t’ on the year 12 syllabus.
November 10, 2023
Brb being mad at men again
December 22, 2023
One star because it was insanely American. Even though de-facto couples have the same rights in Australia as married ones, the words "de facto" and "common law" aren't mentioned once. Is she arguing against living with your boyfriend? Buying a house with him? Having a baby? Legally, it doesn't really matter if you're married or not. What matters are your needs and contributions.
Ford has a strong sense of justice but weirdly little curiosity about the topics she writes about. A case against marriage, or a case against shacking up, or a case against living with the father of your kids are all valid ideas. I just wish she had made any of them coherently. She's right that marriage/cohabitation is a bad deal for a lot of women, maybe even on average. She's right that jokes about hating your wife are corny and awful. She's right that tiktoks about marriage are enraging and stupid. She's right that weirdly a lot of people still think that women are naturally better at housework (I am living proof that this is not the case). I think I would have liked to see the argument(s) made more brutally, more precisely.
Ford has a strong sense of justice but weirdly little curiosity about the topics she writes about. A case against marriage, or a case against shacking up, or a case against living with the father of your kids are all valid ideas. I just wish she had made any of them coherently. She's right that marriage/cohabitation is a bad deal for a lot of women, maybe even on average. She's right that jokes about hating your wife are corny and awful. She's right that tiktoks about marriage are enraging and stupid. She's right that weirdly a lot of people still think that women are naturally better at housework (I am living proof that this is not the case). I think I would have liked to see the argument(s) made more brutally, more precisely.
February 27, 2024
Like 3.5 stars. I fuck with the thesis of this book so heavy, and I actually love the research and care in presenting history. I think people who are like bashing this for being Western feminist kinda miss the point at the very start of the book that is just like this is about a very specific snapshot of women's rights. Like every book does not have to be about every thing to make a profound point. I think I Don't makes a sick point about its stated focus! Insofar as it is a book aimed at Western feminists that's probably a good thing because sometimes cultural discourse makes me ruminate on how willing we are to give up on our rights etc etc
All of this is to say I probably should've absolutely rated this book but it's for the dumbest reason I didn't love it and it's just a little bit too millennial-speak for me and I can't help that that makes me cringe a little bit. Which is something I need to work on. Really good book though. I hope I will have thick skin when the next generation comes for my vernacular.
All of this is to say I probably should've absolutely rated this book but it's for the dumbest reason I didn't love it and it's just a little bit too millennial-speak for me and I can't help that that makes me cringe a little bit. Which is something I need to work on. Really good book though. I hope I will have thick skin when the next generation comes for my vernacular.
November 4, 2023
Highly recommend to all young women.
Choose very, very carefully if you decide to marry. There are good partners out there, but there is much chaff to sort.
A woman is always better off with her cat(s) vs an abusive (physical/psychological) man.
Choose very, very carefully if you decide to marry. There are good partners out there, but there is much chaff to sort.
A woman is always better off with her cat(s) vs an abusive (physical/psychological) man.
November 22, 2023
“Saying I hate men gives them too much power. What I really think I am is a man seer… I see men for who they are, and I know too many secrets they want to keep hidden. It’s not why I hate men. It’s why they hate me.”
Frank. Fearless. Feminist.
Frank. Fearless. Feminist.
November 9, 2023
Proving yet again that she does her due diligence, Ford has produced an angry, well-researched, witty and ultimately compelling argument against marriage. Let’s be clear, this is not an anti-monogamy book, it is anti the institution of marriage.
This book made me uncomfortably aware that I entered into marriage and changed my name with little thought. I’ll be clear here, I’m not marriage to the man described in this book (shudder) and I don’t regret my choice of partner at all but this book reminded me that I was once a little girl who spent an entire day crying at how unfair it was that my brothers would always have their names and I would have to change mine. So entrenched is this idea. Years later I changed my name with little to no thought on the matter. Hell I’m a vegetarian, imagine how disagreeable I would look if I kept my name too (!!!). It is to that weeping little girl that I say, I am so terribly sorry.
This book made me uncomfortably aware that I entered into marriage and changed my name with little thought. I’ll be clear here, I’m not marriage to the man described in this book (shudder) and I don’t regret my choice of partner at all but this book reminded me that I was once a little girl who spent an entire day crying at how unfair it was that my brothers would always have their names and I would have to change mine. So entrenched is this idea. Years later I changed my name with little to no thought on the matter. Hell I’m a vegetarian, imagine how disagreeable I would look if I kept my name too (!!!). It is to that weeping little girl that I say, I am so terribly sorry.
November 12, 2023
‘I see men for who they are, and I know too many of the secrets they want to keep hidden. It’s not why I hate them. It’s why they hate me.’ p339
August 18, 2024
The notion that marriage proves a woman's worth is as disrespectful as it is false. She must be special if she tamed that lad, right?
Some classic fairytales would say so. Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Belle, etc., were all "saved" from their unfulfilling, empty lives by Prince Charming marrying them. In each story, it was she—the special one—unlike the others.
More so, weddings are painted as the "happiest day" of a woman's life—for she has been chosen. Does anyone say it's the happiest day of a man's life? Some narratives suggest the opposite; it's the grim day he is locked up.
The author writes brilliantly and makes some excellent points by analysing the narratives presented by popular media. I wholeheartedly agree that no woman should marry a man who thinks it's he who's doing her a favour, saving her from the fate of dying alone with cats who will eat her corpse (in fact, statistics show it's men who are more likely to die alone, for they have fewer friends who care about them).
However, there is a clear bias. Clementine has been hurt by her ex-partner and many other men, which, I hate to say it, blinds her to the fact that it's not "all men." I agree that many men aren't worth marrying, but there are some who are—or at least I'm still naive to believe it!
Some quotes I liked:
1. “The insistence that marriage (or even committed domestic partnership) is something men run from and women chase isn’t just intellectually insulting, it’s also deeply hypocritical.”
2. “Cats, wine, misery, old age, nursing homes, no visitors, ugly, no one wants you, who hurt you, see if us men care, you women are the ones who need marriage, selfish, pair-bonding, body count, dried up past thirty, spinster, enjoy your sad shitty life in your one-bedroom flat you old hag—I mean, you can really take your pick from the bingo card of Things Men Say To Women Who Don’t Want Them.”
3. “The modern practice of large-scale weddings evolved out of the newly established (white, European) middle class wanting to emulate the practices of the nobility, even if just for a day.”
Some classic fairytales would say so. Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Belle, etc., were all "saved" from their unfulfilling, empty lives by Prince Charming marrying them. In each story, it was she—the special one—unlike the others.
More so, weddings are painted as the "happiest day" of a woman's life—for she has been chosen. Does anyone say it's the happiest day of a man's life? Some narratives suggest the opposite; it's the grim day he is locked up.
The author writes brilliantly and makes some excellent points by analysing the narratives presented by popular media. I wholeheartedly agree that no woman should marry a man who thinks it's he who's doing her a favour, saving her from the fate of dying alone with cats who will eat her corpse (in fact, statistics show it's men who are more likely to die alone, for they have fewer friends who care about them).
However, there is a clear bias. Clementine has been hurt by her ex-partner and many other men, which, I hate to say it, blinds her to the fact that it's not "all men." I agree that many men aren't worth marrying, but there are some who are—or at least I'm still naive to believe it!
Some quotes I liked:
1. “The insistence that marriage (or even committed domestic partnership) is something men run from and women chase isn’t just intellectually insulting, it’s also deeply hypocritical.”
2. “Cats, wine, misery, old age, nursing homes, no visitors, ugly, no one wants you, who hurt you, see if us men care, you women are the ones who need marriage, selfish, pair-bonding, body count, dried up past thirty, spinster, enjoy your sad shitty life in your one-bedroom flat you old hag—I mean, you can really take your pick from the bingo card of Things Men Say To Women Who Don’t Want Them.”
3. “The modern practice of large-scale weddings evolved out of the newly established (white, European) middle class wanting to emulate the practices of the nobility, even if just for a day.”
November 7, 2023
Clementine Ford’s books, talks, and podcast are incredible, reaching people all across the country and the globe. As a woman, I feel less alone engaging in her content, more seen, more heard but mostly more angry - angry at domestic violence rates, at the societal structures that foster sexism and violence toward women, that push women into unpaid domestic labor roles, that deem us worthless unless we’re married, a mother, or desired by a man. And I’m reminded that I’m not alone in this anger. I feel angry seeing video after video of women being smashed in the face by cake by their husband at their wedding - a day they’ve been told since they were born, is the most important day of their life. I’m tired of this being one of the ultimate milestones in a woman’s life, a symbol of success and validation. Ladies, let’s ask for more.
December 6, 2023
Garbage
March 16, 2024
This was an exercise in frustration and disappointment. I am genuinely baffled as to how this managed to get published. The book, which I hoped might offer a nuanced critique of the institution of marriage, instead felt like an onslaught of personal vendetta thinly veiled as social commentary. Ford's approach is marred by a glaring lack of citations, rendering what could have been valid points into seemingly aggressive, agenda-driven rants.
Ford's writing style, characterized by nonsensical and overtly aggressive language, obfuscates rather than clarifies her arguments. Her tendency to misrepresent the literature she casually refers to, paired with her wholesale ripping off of ideas from others without proper acknowledgment, undermines her credibility. This lack of scholarly rigor left me questioning the foundational integrity of her thesis.
The book demonstrates an alarming lack of self-awareness and intellectual curiosity. There's no exploration of the possibility that she might be wrong, no inclination towards understanding perspectives other than her own. She also interestingly almost entirely omits any mention of “Love” feelings of any kind or relationship of any kind. This tunnel vision fosters a narrative that is not just critical of marriage but seems to harbor a general hatered for men, married people, religion, and society at large culminated in her hatred for “Sky Daddy” aka God.
Furthermore, Ford's attempt to address marriage as predominantly a "white" institution, only to clumsily include other narratives, felt embarrassingly uneducated and reductive. Her treatment of such a complex topic through a singularly narrow lens did a disservice to the nuanced realities of marriage across different cultures and communities. (Interestingly, despite her insistence that white woman are marriages target market the highest rates of marriage in the world remain in West Bank & Gaza, Fiji, Egypt, the Bahamas, and Uzbekistan) Statista Research Department, Jan 10, 2024
The book, in my view, comes across as a self-fulfilling prophecy for someone determined to use the most unscientific approach to problem-solving. Ford displays no desire to pose genuine questions or seek understanding, opting instead to push a predetermined narrative.
The thought of Ford's son reading this book someday is heartbreaking. The potential impact of such a one-sided perspective on marriage and interpersonal relationships, coming from a parent feels incredibly damaging.
As a whole, *The Case Against Marriage* was a deeply disappointing read that, instead of offering insightful critique, felt more like wading through a relentless tirade. The absence of academic rigor and the pervasive one-sidedness left me exhausted. The saddest part is, her fundamental points I don’t entirely disagree with with, they are just so hard to hear through the insessint yelling.
Ford's writing style, characterized by nonsensical and overtly aggressive language, obfuscates rather than clarifies her arguments. Her tendency to misrepresent the literature she casually refers to, paired with her wholesale ripping off of ideas from others without proper acknowledgment, undermines her credibility. This lack of scholarly rigor left me questioning the foundational integrity of her thesis.
The book demonstrates an alarming lack of self-awareness and intellectual curiosity. There's no exploration of the possibility that she might be wrong, no inclination towards understanding perspectives other than her own. She also interestingly almost entirely omits any mention of “Love” feelings of any kind or relationship of any kind. This tunnel vision fosters a narrative that is not just critical of marriage but seems to harbor a general hatered for men, married people, religion, and society at large culminated in her hatred for “Sky Daddy” aka God.
Furthermore, Ford's attempt to address marriage as predominantly a "white" institution, only to clumsily include other narratives, felt embarrassingly uneducated and reductive. Her treatment of such a complex topic through a singularly narrow lens did a disservice to the nuanced realities of marriage across different cultures and communities. (Interestingly, despite her insistence that white woman are marriages target market the highest rates of marriage in the world remain in West Bank & Gaza, Fiji, Egypt, the Bahamas, and Uzbekistan) Statista Research Department, Jan 10, 2024
The book, in my view, comes across as a self-fulfilling prophecy for someone determined to use the most unscientific approach to problem-solving. Ford displays no desire to pose genuine questions or seek understanding, opting instead to push a predetermined narrative.
The thought of Ford's son reading this book someday is heartbreaking. The potential impact of such a one-sided perspective on marriage and interpersonal relationships, coming from a parent feels incredibly damaging.
As a whole, *The Case Against Marriage* was a deeply disappointing read that, instead of offering insightful critique, felt more like wading through a relentless tirade. The absence of academic rigor and the pervasive one-sidedness left me exhausted. The saddest part is, her fundamental points I don’t entirely disagree with with, they are just so hard to hear through the insessint yelling.
March 3, 2024
I will harass every woman I know to read this. I thought it was a little bit too long and could have been more concise. Aside from that, it was a god damn powerful read.
December 25, 2023
Regardless of your personal preferences around marriage I think this book is pretty important food for thought. The arguments and research are compelling and it unpacks a lot about the oppressive history and contemporary reality of marriage as an institution, as well as the pervasive cultural narratives that posit marriage as the ultimate aspiration for women, and perpetuate fear and stigma around being single.
I felt the ideas within the book, as well researched and argued as they already were could have spoken for themselves without all the added sarcasm and incendiary tone, but that may just be Ford’s preference as a writer. Writing in this style just makes it a little more likely that people will write off this book as angry and man-hating and disregard the valid cultural critiques within it.
Also while there was a brief disclaimer it is extremely focused on heterosexual marriage and women/ men dichotomies, in a middle class white context. Which is a choice of scope but did feel reductive and I found myself thinking how and where does any of this apply in queer contexts— and I am sure it does in ways — but this book ignores that entirely, positing marriage as entirely an issue of fixed gender roles.
I felt the ideas within the book, as well researched and argued as they already were could have spoken for themselves without all the added sarcasm and incendiary tone, but that may just be Ford’s preference as a writer. Writing in this style just makes it a little more likely that people will write off this book as angry and man-hating and disregard the valid cultural critiques within it.
Also while there was a brief disclaimer it is extremely focused on heterosexual marriage and women/ men dichotomies, in a middle class white context. Which is a choice of scope but did feel reductive and I found myself thinking how and where does any of this apply in queer contexts— and I am sure it does in ways — but this book ignores that entirely, positing marriage as entirely an issue of fixed gender roles.
December 19, 2024
4.5*
Honestly, I wish I'd had this book when I was in my early 20s. If I had, I might have dumped that adult man who didn't seem to have the skills to clean up after himself at the start of the relationship rather than spending 7 years as his live-in maid, cook, therapist, personal assistant etc.etc.
But at that age, you're just happy to be 'chosen', you're part of the elite class of people in long-term, monogamous relationships. What a crock of shit.
Now that I've also experienced the immense joy and freedom of being single, living alone, I don't think I'd ever give that up to co-habitat with a man again. And for those few men out there that do seem to have eyes and a brain by which they contribute equally to life admin and household chores, cool. But they're the exception that prove the rule.
Girls, don't let your own love blind you and shield you from the fact that through his actions, it may be clear he doesn't love or respect you back.
Honestly, I wish I'd had this book when I was in my early 20s. If I had, I might have dumped that adult man who didn't seem to have the skills to clean up after himself at the start of the relationship rather than spending 7 years as his live-in maid, cook, therapist, personal assistant etc.etc.
But at that age, you're just happy to be 'chosen', you're part of the elite class of people in long-term, monogamous relationships. What a crock of shit.
Now that I've also experienced the immense joy and freedom of being single, living alone, I don't think I'd ever give that up to co-habitat with a man again. And for those few men out there that do seem to have eyes and a brain by which they contribute equally to life admin and household chores, cool. But they're the exception that prove the rule.
Girls, don't let your own love blind you and shield you from the fact that through his actions, it may be clear he doesn't love or respect you back.
March 18, 2024
Is this book important? Yes. Does it masterfully examine the impact of marriage in Western society and the reasons marriage continues to oppress and subjugate women? Yes. Did I dislike the narrative style, tone and overall writing? Yes. Should ever women read this before even considering getting married? Yes.
January 10, 2024
Gents open your minds, read this book, have a perspective of humility and be mindful of your behaviour as our actions foster the future environment for our daughters and they deserve better.
July 20, 2024
You know the teaching that to feel good you should force a smile because your body will eventually believe you're happy? This book had the opposite effect on me - despite the sarcasm, having to read a sentence saying women deserve to be subservient to men still makes me read that sentence and comprehend it before my brain adds the layer of "she's joking".
It was a little confronting to read some of the opinions because I grew up in the 90s where marriage was extremely romanticised; and this book challenged that engrained training in my brain. But I feel like marriage was pointed to as the problem, when I see marriage as just a term to describe a type of relationship, and whether you're married ir not, crap relationships are possible.
I think because I never thought of marriage as the peak of life achievement (and don't want or plan to have kids), that a lot of this book's arguments are not new to me. Neither is the medical statistics, unpaid labour of women, or anecdotal evidence of husbands being trash at contributing to their relationships.
[Edit: someone pointed out to me that not everyone knows this, and this book may be the first opportunity for some people to learn these things which is a very good point]
I did enjoy the history of witches and brewsters, and Clementine's haiku about society's demand for women to have children but only according to what it wants.
Finally, the book dismisses Grey's Anatomy as an enforcer of marriage being the most important thing "Life doesn't begin until we find the one (or 'our person' as Grey's Anatomy go on to call it)", and I think misses that that term gets used for describing the protagonist and her best friend, and misses a wonderful Sandra Oh quote: "he is dreamy but he is not the sun. You are."
Off that quote, I think one important factor is that if you have strong, loving friendships with people who champion how amazing you are, you're less likely to accept bad romantic relationships.
It was a little confronting to read some of the opinions because I grew up in the 90s where marriage was extremely romanticised; and this book challenged that engrained training in my brain. But I feel like marriage was pointed to as the problem, when I see marriage as just a term to describe a type of relationship, and whether you're married ir not, crap relationships are possible.
I think because I never thought of marriage as the peak of life achievement (and don't want or plan to have kids), that a lot of this book's arguments are not new to me. Neither is the medical statistics, unpaid labour of women, or anecdotal evidence of husbands being trash at contributing to their relationships.
[Edit: someone pointed out to me that not everyone knows this, and this book may be the first opportunity for some people to learn these things which is a very good point]
I did enjoy the history of witches and brewsters, and Clementine's haiku about society's demand for women to have children but only according to what it wants.
Finally, the book dismisses Grey's Anatomy as an enforcer of marriage being the most important thing "Life doesn't begin until we find the one (or 'our person' as Grey's Anatomy go on to call it)", and I think misses that that term gets used for describing the protagonist and her best friend, and misses a wonderful Sandra Oh quote: "he is dreamy but he is not the sun. You are."
Off that quote, I think one important factor is that if you have strong, loving friendships with people who champion how amazing you are, you're less likely to accept bad romantic relationships.
Read
November 23, 2023I feel like this book has validated my life choices. While I don’t have the cats frequently referred to in the trope of the childless spinster I’m not likely to make any other drastic life changes having listened to this hot on the heels of finally reading ‘The Natural Way of Things’ by Charlotte Wood, a quote from which makes it into Clementine Ford’s scrutiny of marriage.
From unpacking some of the historical practices of marriage and examining where the stereotypes of the alternative might come from, to looking into the bleaker side of today’s marriage traditions, Ford is engaging, articulate, frequently sweary, and a refreshing clap back to the assumed ‘normal’ place and role women are too often expected to play in society.
I listened to the audiobook, which Clementine Ford reads herself, and enjoyed every minute of it.
From unpacking some of the historical practices of marriage and examining where the stereotypes of the alternative might come from, to looking into the bleaker side of today’s marriage traditions, Ford is engaging, articulate, frequently sweary, and a refreshing clap back to the assumed ‘normal’ place and role women are too often expected to play in society.
I listened to the audiobook, which Clementine Ford reads herself, and enjoyed every minute of it.
February 2, 2024
A heteronormative, binary account with an overwhelming lack of intersectionality that felt slightly stuck in outdated feminist waves. This narrative excludes huge amounts of people who are central to this discourse. While I understood what she was trying to do, Ford’s angry, sarcastic, colloquial language used throughout this book actually made it feel less accessible, and less convincing, especially for anyone on the fence about the subject of marriage. Really made me want to call up every one of my straight friends and ask if they’re okay.
November 6, 2023
A life changing book. Clementine's ability to disentangle the everyday rhetoric, common 'opinions' and assumptions that are associated with the insidiously malevolent institution of marriage (regardless of how much we think we progressed in gender equality) is thorough and outstanding. A book I wish I had read two decades ago.
November 15, 2023
Great if All you want is a whole bunch of confirmation bias to suit the personal beliefs of the author. This is not in anyway academic writing.
December 2, 2023
Say what you want about Clementine Ford, who is often dismissed as ‘too intense’, ‘too radical’, and as she self proclaims herself, ‘a facially pierced, coloured haired crazy cat lady feminist’, but you cannot deny the truths she speaks.
The construct of marriage and the detrimental impact it places on and for women is something I’ve been fascinated with and passionate about for a few years now. It continues to blow my mind how in 2023, every wedding I see on Instagram is underpinned by a woman’s obsession with becoming engaged with some mediocre proposal her boyfriend (who is too hopeless to put his dirty socks in the laundry basket) put so much thought and romance into (what a guy!! ie. the bar is below sea level) changing her name to his and making that her entire personality for the year or so between engagement and wedding (insert ‘Mrs new last name’ to every Instagram caption, merch, hens hashtag), and the cherry on top - the last name changed on Instagram instantaneously post saying ‘I do’.
Whenever the conversation arises with my friends about whether or not we will change our names, I have to hold back my cringe and disappointment as the same answers come out every time - “I don’t really have an opinion on it”, “I don’t really like my last name anyway”, “I want the same name as my kids”, “I have a brother who will carry on the family name”, “I don’t like my dad so I want to get rid of it”, “its my father’s last name so it’s still a man’s”, it’s my choice to change it and feminism is about choice” (that is wrong by the way - a choice can only be made if there are two options, a woman to change her name to the man’s or the man to change his to the woman’s - when is the latter ever put to us as an option to choose from??).
The reality is, as Clementine so well puts it, we, as women, are born with placeholder names and titles, held until someone we don’t even know yet claims us as good enough to take theirs on, whereas men get to own their names and titles from birth, no questions asked, forever. For example, all the reasons stated above for why a woman might want to change her name would be the same for a man - maybe he doesn’t like his last name, he wants the same name as his kids, it’s also his father’s last name, or he doesn’t like his dad either, but changing his isn’t even a question, it’s something he gets to own from birth to death.
We are conditioned as children to believe in the fantasy and the fairytale of being swept up by a prince, as we saw in every Disney princess story pushed onto us since a young age and this is why, amongst a myriad of things, women end up in marriages embedded in inequality - taking care of a man child amongst her other children, doing all the unpaid housework (even while working and therefore contributing financially - a task that is not reciprocated by men) and all the while being forced to accept it because ‘that’s just the way men are’.
Clementine Ford extrapolates this notion among many others in such an intricately articulate way. I challenge and implore everyone I know to read this book - I don’t think it will change them wanting to get married, and that’s fair enough considering how instilled it is in all of us to want that for ourselves, but it will at least give you an education and understanding of how aspects of it (like changing your name) does such injustice to the progression of women’s equality (wrongly dubbed fanatical feminism or feminazism) and most importantly the WHY and the HOW we got here. A self awareness at least of what your decisions do for the rest of us is all I’m asking.
Though it may seem like an extreme, pessimistic, man-hating account on marriage, and perhaps in many ways it is, it is the necessary reality check needed for all women as we try to pioneer a more equal world. It is also easy to caveat the extremeness with the context of who is writing it, and instead of writing off or becoming aggravated by her viewpoints, appreciate how well educated and informed her opinions are and let that inform your own. For example, Clementine is a marriage abolitionist - which I don’t agree with. I think marriage definitely has a place in our world, but what from what I read in this book, the biggest takeaway for myself is that if I was to ever enter into it, a joint understanding between myself and future husband of what we are entering into and taking all steps and precautions to make it as equal as possible is absolutely imperative, so to not fall into the type of marriage that so many women find themselves in and hence, as Adele put it…divorce babe, divorce.
The construct of marriage and the detrimental impact it places on and for women is something I’ve been fascinated with and passionate about for a few years now. It continues to blow my mind how in 2023, every wedding I see on Instagram is underpinned by a woman’s obsession with becoming engaged with some mediocre proposal her boyfriend (who is too hopeless to put his dirty socks in the laundry basket) put so much thought and romance into (what a guy!! ie. the bar is below sea level) changing her name to his and making that her entire personality for the year or so between engagement and wedding (insert ‘Mrs new last name’ to every Instagram caption, merch, hens hashtag), and the cherry on top - the last name changed on Instagram instantaneously post saying ‘I do’.
Whenever the conversation arises with my friends about whether or not we will change our names, I have to hold back my cringe and disappointment as the same answers come out every time - “I don’t really have an opinion on it”, “I don’t really like my last name anyway”, “I want the same name as my kids”, “I have a brother who will carry on the family name”, “I don’t like my dad so I want to get rid of it”, “its my father’s last name so it’s still a man’s”, it’s my choice to change it and feminism is about choice” (that is wrong by the way - a choice can only be made if there are two options, a woman to change her name to the man’s or the man to change his to the woman’s - when is the latter ever put to us as an option to choose from??).
The reality is, as Clementine so well puts it, we, as women, are born with placeholder names and titles, held until someone we don’t even know yet claims us as good enough to take theirs on, whereas men get to own their names and titles from birth, no questions asked, forever. For example, all the reasons stated above for why a woman might want to change her name would be the same for a man - maybe he doesn’t like his last name, he wants the same name as his kids, it’s also his father’s last name, or he doesn’t like his dad either, but changing his isn’t even a question, it’s something he gets to own from birth to death.
We are conditioned as children to believe in the fantasy and the fairytale of being swept up by a prince, as we saw in every Disney princess story pushed onto us since a young age and this is why, amongst a myriad of things, women end up in marriages embedded in inequality - taking care of a man child amongst her other children, doing all the unpaid housework (even while working and therefore contributing financially - a task that is not reciprocated by men) and all the while being forced to accept it because ‘that’s just the way men are’.
Clementine Ford extrapolates this notion among many others in such an intricately articulate way. I challenge and implore everyone I know to read this book - I don’t think it will change them wanting to get married, and that’s fair enough considering how instilled it is in all of us to want that for ourselves, but it will at least give you an education and understanding of how aspects of it (like changing your name) does such injustice to the progression of women’s equality (wrongly dubbed fanatical feminism or feminazism) and most importantly the WHY and the HOW we got here. A self awareness at least of what your decisions do for the rest of us is all I’m asking.
Though it may seem like an extreme, pessimistic, man-hating account on marriage, and perhaps in many ways it is, it is the necessary reality check needed for all women as we try to pioneer a more equal world. It is also easy to caveat the extremeness with the context of who is writing it, and instead of writing off or becoming aggravated by her viewpoints, appreciate how well educated and informed her opinions are and let that inform your own. For example, Clementine is a marriage abolitionist - which I don’t agree with. I think marriage definitely has a place in our world, but what from what I read in this book, the biggest takeaway for myself is that if I was to ever enter into it, a joint understanding between myself and future husband of what we are entering into and taking all steps and precautions to make it as equal as possible is absolutely imperative, so to not fall into the type of marriage that so many women find themselves in and hence, as Adele put it…divorce babe, divorce.
December 2, 2023
"As the Nobel Prize-nominated economist Marilyn Waring notes, 'Men won't easily give up a system in which half the world's population works for next to nothing.'"
"Locking yourself into a contract that's both legally and financially difficult to leave is insane. Would you accept a job on that basis? Would you refuse to negotiate the fine print on a house sale because caring about the details is somehow 'unromantic'?"
"Fuck marriage. You can be the great love you're looking for, if you raise your standards. You can honour who you are everyday. You can obey the call you feel inside, the one that tells you there's something else out there just waiting for you to find it."
"Locking yourself into a contract that's both legally and financially difficult to leave is insane. Would you accept a job on that basis? Would you refuse to negotiate the fine print on a house sale because caring about the details is somehow 'unromantic'?"
"Fuck marriage. You can be the great love you're looking for, if you raise your standards. You can honour who you are everyday. You can obey the call you feel inside, the one that tells you there's something else out there just waiting for you to find it."
January 18, 2024
A couple of notes:
1. I listened to the audiobook and I highly recommend this - Clementine’s narration is so fkn funny.
2. I genuinely enjoyed this read and would reccomend it to all women who date men and men who date women alike.
3. Chapter 13 made me ugly cry while out in public on a walk.
4. I don’t think this achieved the desired outcome for me, I still don’t have many strong views on marriage but I didn’t prior to reading this book.
5. It read more like a case FOR being single (for heterosexual women) than it did a case against marriage specifically. I don’t have an issue with this, just think it’s worth noting.
1. I listened to the audiobook and I highly recommend this - Clementine’s narration is so fkn funny.
2. I genuinely enjoyed this read and would reccomend it to all women who date men and men who date women alike.
3. Chapter 13 made me ugly cry while out in public on a walk.
4. I don’t think this achieved the desired outcome for me, I still don’t have many strong views on marriage but I didn’t prior to reading this book.
5. It read more like a case FOR being single (for heterosexual women) than it did a case against marriage specifically. I don’t have an issue with this, just think it’s worth noting.
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