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Smart, short techniques throughout the day can form a healthier perspective
‘Truly empowering – a book for everyone. It will help you figure out life.’Fearne Cotton All the benefits of therapy – 10 minutes at a time
Let Owen O’Kane, psychotherapist, former NHS Clinical Lead and Sunday Times bestselling author of TEN TO ZEN, show you how anyone can use simple, understandable techniques to unlock better mental health.
Modern life is a minefield for stress. Whether it’s juggling work, relationships or money, we often struggle to make time for ourselves and can find ourselves stuck in a rut with bad habits or worries.
In HOW TO BE YOUR OWN THERAPIST, Owen O’Kane reveals how smart, short techniques throughout the day can form healthier perspectives and let you ditch harmful thought patterns.
Using the latest evidence-based tools and techniques from across a range of therapies including CBT, mindfulness and interpersonal therapy, Owen provides empowering solutions to managing what keeps you stuck so you can move forward.
Teaching you the key fundamentals of therapy and how to apply these to your own life, alongside targeted tasks that take just 10 minutes a day, this is the practical therapy book for anyone who wants to get the best from their life and to manage better in tough times.
‘Owen is bringing much needed therapy to all of us. He brings down the stigma attached to being vulnerable and is making talking about mental health approachable for everyone. His book is brilliant and I highly recommend.’ Dr Rupy Aujla, MBBS, BSc, MRCGP The Doctor’s Kitchen
‘Anyone looking to understand how therapy can help them help themselves, should look no further than Owen’s humorous and empowering book.’ Benedict Cumberbatch
PLEASE When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
‘Truly empowering – a book for everyone. It will help you figure out life.’Fearne Cotton All the benefits of therapy – 10 minutes at a time
Let Owen O’Kane, psychotherapist, former NHS Clinical Lead and Sunday Times bestselling author of TEN TO ZEN, show you how anyone can use simple, understandable techniques to unlock better mental health.
Modern life is a minefield for stress. Whether it’s juggling work, relationships or money, we often struggle to make time for ourselves and can find ourselves stuck in a rut with bad habits or worries.
In HOW TO BE YOUR OWN THERAPIST, Owen O’Kane reveals how smart, short techniques throughout the day can form healthier perspectives and let you ditch harmful thought patterns.
Using the latest evidence-based tools and techniques from across a range of therapies including CBT, mindfulness and interpersonal therapy, Owen provides empowering solutions to managing what keeps you stuck so you can move forward.
Teaching you the key fundamentals of therapy and how to apply these to your own life, alongside targeted tasks that take just 10 minutes a day, this is the practical therapy book for anyone who wants to get the best from their life and to manage better in tough times.
‘Owen is bringing much needed therapy to all of us. He brings down the stigma attached to being vulnerable and is making talking about mental health approachable for everyone. His book is brilliant and I highly recommend.’ Dr Rupy Aujla, MBBS, BSc, MRCGP The Doctor’s Kitchen
‘Anyone looking to understand how therapy can help them help themselves, should look no further than Owen’s humorous and empowering book.’ Benedict Cumberbatch
PLEASE When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
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Published January 1, 2023
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 99 reviews
August 2, 2022
This book is like a crash course on psychotherapy. Although this is more of a workbook, to me personally, even just reading it feels like a therapy session. Owen has gone through what he's teaching. Maybe that's the reason why I found care, comfort and encouragement in Owen's words.
This book has two parts. The first part is the foundation work in which you will look at your real life story, making sense of it and how it affects you today. It's like sorting yourself out.
I didn't do the exercises in Part One, I'll surely do them later, because they're similar to Jordan Peterson's "Self Authoring" which I did just a few months ago.
Recently, I've been feeling like I want to sort myself out, I want to understand why I am exactly the way I am today. I know it's an impossible task because every single experience has brought me to where and who I am today although some did certainly have more influence than others. To sort them all out is simply impossible.
But I found comfort in Owen's words, "You will never have it all sorted out, even if you live to 100. And that's the truth. There is no blissful end state where all your troubles will have vanished, and you live happily ever after."
However, the process is worth giving a try. You'll be able to identify your patterns, how certain past experiences have caused them and made you who you are today.
Then, the second part of this book will teach you how to do your ten minutes of daily self-therapy. Yes, you'll be your own therapist yourself. They're simple techniques that can fit into any of our daily schedule. Owen has split the ten minutes across your day, four in the morning, three in the afternoon and another four in the evening before you go to bed.
I started to apply the 10-minute self-therapy right away even before finishing the whole book.
Then came my favourite chapter of the book, "When Life Throws A Major Curve Ball" in which Owen talks about bereavement, change, personal illness or taking on a caring role, disappointment and times of crisis. We've all experienced, or will surely experience if we haven't, one or maybe all of them at least once in our lifetime.
What I liked about most in this chapter is on bereavement. I have heard a lot about "5 stages of grief or bereavement" on the internet and even studied about it for an exam. To me, that feels like nonsense. Although the topic didn't come up in the exam, I wouldn't use it even if it did come up because I feel like it's insulting to the person who is in bereavement.
Let me elaborate on this because what Owen says here resonates with me:
"I believe pathologising greif (labelling it as a disorder) or suggesting that the grieving process is made up of predictable, easily defined psychological and behavioural 'stages' risks minimising a person's loss by indicating that there is an end point by which time they should no longer be in pain.
"The idea of 'the stages of grief ' can also make grieving people feel isolated or guilty because they're not feeling what they're 'meant' to feel. Grief is not that simple or predictable. Sometimes it can be complex, and people do become stuck, but it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with them or how they're grieving.
"It simply means someone is hurting deeply and finding it difficult to adjust to a life without their loved one. Bereaved people need patience, time and a lot of understanding. A part of them has died, and that must be honoured." But,
"The pain eventually eases and it is possible to learn to live without the other person. Life goes on, but it can never be the same. And that's OK."
"Don't be shamed into thinking there's a right or wrong way to grieve. This is a very personal journey."
Of course, this book is not a substitute for one-to-one professional therapy. There maybe some issues that you're finding difficult to manage by yourself.
However, I feel it's worth learning how to take care of ourselves and doing the 10-minute daily self-therapy because, in Owen's words, "The most consistent part of your life is you. You will have you with you until your last breath. ...Whatever life throws at you, if you are in 'good company' with yourself, then the journey will be so much more manageable and enjoyable."
This book has two parts. The first part is the foundation work in which you will look at your real life story, making sense of it and how it affects you today. It's like sorting yourself out.
I didn't do the exercises in Part One, I'll surely do them later, because they're similar to Jordan Peterson's "Self Authoring" which I did just a few months ago.
Recently, I've been feeling like I want to sort myself out, I want to understand why I am exactly the way I am today. I know it's an impossible task because every single experience has brought me to where and who I am today although some did certainly have more influence than others. To sort them all out is simply impossible.
But I found comfort in Owen's words, "You will never have it all sorted out, even if you live to 100. And that's the truth. There is no blissful end state where all your troubles will have vanished, and you live happily ever after."
However, the process is worth giving a try. You'll be able to identify your patterns, how certain past experiences have caused them and made you who you are today.
Then, the second part of this book will teach you how to do your ten minutes of daily self-therapy. Yes, you'll be your own therapist yourself. They're simple techniques that can fit into any of our daily schedule. Owen has split the ten minutes across your day, four in the morning, three in the afternoon and another four in the evening before you go to bed.
I started to apply the 10-minute self-therapy right away even before finishing the whole book.
Then came my favourite chapter of the book, "When Life Throws A Major Curve Ball" in which Owen talks about bereavement, change, personal illness or taking on a caring role, disappointment and times of crisis. We've all experienced, or will surely experience if we haven't, one or maybe all of them at least once in our lifetime.
What I liked about most in this chapter is on bereavement. I have heard a lot about "5 stages of grief or bereavement" on the internet and even studied about it for an exam. To me, that feels like nonsense. Although the topic didn't come up in the exam, I wouldn't use it even if it did come up because I feel like it's insulting to the person who is in bereavement.
Let me elaborate on this because what Owen says here resonates with me:
"I believe pathologising greif (labelling it as a disorder) or suggesting that the grieving process is made up of predictable, easily defined psychological and behavioural 'stages' risks minimising a person's loss by indicating that there is an end point by which time they should no longer be in pain.
"The idea of 'the stages of grief ' can also make grieving people feel isolated or guilty because they're not feeling what they're 'meant' to feel. Grief is not that simple or predictable. Sometimes it can be complex, and people do become stuck, but it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with them or how they're grieving.
"It simply means someone is hurting deeply and finding it difficult to adjust to a life without their loved one. Bereaved people need patience, time and a lot of understanding. A part of them has died, and that must be honoured." But,
"The pain eventually eases and it is possible to learn to live without the other person. Life goes on, but it can never be the same. And that's OK."
"Don't be shamed into thinking there's a right or wrong way to grieve. This is a very personal journey."
Of course, this book is not a substitute for one-to-one professional therapy. There maybe some issues that you're finding difficult to manage by yourself.
However, I feel it's worth learning how to take care of ourselves and doing the 10-minute daily self-therapy because, in Owen's words, "The most consistent part of your life is you. You will have you with you until your last breath. ...Whatever life throws at you, if you are in 'good company' with yourself, then the journey will be so much more manageable and enjoyable."
August 2, 2022
I think this is one of the best self help type books I have ever read. It’s got some really good practical advice with enough of a back story and theory for you to understand why you are doing the actions but not too much that it feels too hard to do. There are some real eye openers if you do all of the exercises and I am going to be honest there are some bits that I am not ready to tackle yet. However the 10 minutes a day therapy gave me a really good barometer as to how I’m doing and the bits I couldn’t face now I know I will go back and look at. It’s a book I’ve finished reading once but will sit by my bed for me to continually refer back to and revisit
July 16, 2024
I saw this in an airport bookstore and thought it looked intriguing. I had no idea that the author was quite well-known in Ireland and the UK. I liked his warm style and easy to incorporate tips.
May 28, 2023
A great read, very helpful and a good comfort for me
January 18, 2024
It’s hard to administer therapy especially through a book and while this has a good go, I found it not to my tastes.
Nothing beats real therapy and while the author starts off well by making the reader write and review their life story and limiting beliefs, their Version of self therapy was a bit woo woo for my tastes.
I think if you’re apprehensive about what to expect from therapy or want to continue the lessons learned this is a good start but ultimately there are more focused books that may be more beneficial.
Nothing beats real therapy and while the author starts off well by making the reader write and review their life story and limiting beliefs, their Version of self therapy was a bit woo woo for my tastes.
I think if you’re apprehensive about what to expect from therapy or want to continue the lessons learned this is a good start but ultimately there are more focused books that may be more beneficial.
June 5, 2023
Amazing amazing book! One of the best self help books out there! Super practical advice, stuff that’s easily applicable to your own life. I liked how it was both a crash course on psychotherapy, such that he really took the time to educate you on terms and theories but then there was also real homework and activities to do to get you engaged and to help you truly see change. I followed the activities and I can definitely vouch for how it helped me better understand myself, feel less alone, and feel more on track daily. I’m definitely going to keep up with these activities daily. Super mindful therapy approach! I loved it!!
April 20, 2024
This was a very relatable, easy-to-read book with some good information. I thought the first part of the book, which involves 10 minutes of daily self reflection (broken into 3 separate check-ins) to be highly unlikely. Most people, myself included, do not have that much discipline for introspection. Also, it is hard to remain neutral as you examine your own life. Chapter 9 held the most beneficial explanations/advice for me personally. It is titled "When life throws a major curve ball" and is helpful if you don't do well with "change"... which I don't. I think all self-help books are good--as long as you learn something.
February 21, 2025
3.75 ⭐️
September 18, 2022
I have never really thought of myself as an anxious person, and would not have been drawn to this book with its “reduce your anxiety” strapline if I hadn’t heard O’Kane speak so very well on a podcast. The book did not disappoint - it’s a very clearly written workbook, that encourages reflection and self-compassion - but that’s not to say the process he takes you through is easy - and you definitely have to dig to some lows before you can progress to the promised mood-boosting.
March 17, 2024
Enjoyed listening to the audiobook with the author and his comforting Irish accent. Took away some tips for adding more mindful habits to my life.
August 9, 2024
I really liked the approach that this book has given to the daily mental health check ins, I am curious to try it out and will come back at some point and update if it felt doable and if it helped.
September 16, 2023
I'm not a great fan of 'self-help' books when it comes to medical or mental health. Often they fit in the same category of new-age books by self-styled gurus who spout, at best, pseudo-science and, at worst, complete bullshit.
But this book caught my eye. Firstly, it is written by an actual expert - the author is a former clinical lead for the UK's NHS. For me, this is just about as high a credential as you get. It means he isn't just some academic expert teaching it at university and therefore probably rather distanced from the realities of therapy. This is a guy who used to walk the walk and be in charge of a team of others who did the same. To be a clinical lead usually takes years of experience and O'Kane certainly has that. This is no pie-in-the-sky theory.
Secondly, this fits with my views of therapy - very much as espoused by Jeffrey Masson in his classic 'Against Therapy' - that often the 'traditional' therapy sessions are not really that helpful if the therapist becomes a crutch and the patient/client doesn't own their own progress to towards recovery. Most decent holistic practitioners will, these days, attempt to guide their clients towards finding their own solutions and restore themselves. In other words, empower the client rather than dominate in the client-therapist relationship. The therapist does this by training the client in techniques and guiding them to shift their perspectives and reframe situations: in essence the very things O'Kane teaches in this book.
And thirdly, there is a real crisis of need in the NHS right now with nothing like enough therapists. I have to speak personally here although I have friends in the profession who confirm the situation. I have experienced extreme trauma twice in my life (possibly three times but two more or less came together). The first time as in my late childhood and early teens. The second was about nine years ago soon after returning to the UK from living in Bangladesh. Both will be separate books one day - they are on my hitlist to write. The latter trauma didn't just affect me. It took down my entire family. All of us ended up having separate therapy sessions. We needed help immediately, but it didn't come. We all had to wait many weeks, if not months, for sessions (my son is only just getting them now, nine years later despite best efforts). When they finally come, you're limited to just a handful of sessions - typically three I think - and that's it. And in my case, I got a change of therapist after the first session because the original one had moved on to another job elsewhere. I never finished my sessions; they were a waste of time.
In effect, what I ended up doing is exactly what I had to do the first time: I fixed myself. It helps that I am trained in psychology and counselling so I do have a good understanding of the principles although I am no expert by any means. I function well and lead a pretty contented life thanks to my own ways of learning to deal with things.
That doesn't mean it is perfect though. There are still certain kinds of stressors that bring me down. I still get occasional bouts of what I call 'the black dog'. I know how to make it sit and not cause any damage, but still it can hang around for several days before going away again. I don't know if I have the resilience to cope with anything majorly traumatic happening again in my life. I hope I don't get to find out, but it does worry me.
So, O'Kane's book looked a good fit. Techniques I could use for myself, at home, without need for therapy sessions impossible to come by and probably not appropriate anyway. I don't need recovery work; I could do with maintenance and strengthening. That's just what O'Kane promises. He stresses the need to seek professional help if you are going through intense trauma. He does not claim his book can help those in desperate need. This book is aimed at people like me: needing someone to talk to but functioning just fine in general.
O'Kane is partly successful. He offers short mental work outs that are supposed to happen through the day - namely beginning, middle and end of your day. They are mostly reflections on aspects of the day - the good, the bad and the ugly, as it were - and allow you to focus on what you need to reframe the day and build what some psychologists call 'positive self regard'. This is good stuff.
O'Kane himself is very likable. He's open and honest about his own traumas including growing up gay in very Catholic Northern Ireland and dealing with all the shit that comes with that. He is a gentle soul and someone you feel you can instinctively trust. I suspect he was very good at his job and helped a lot of people.
Yet, somehow, these techniques and O'Kane's style, lovely though it is, doesn't work for me. Fundamentally, he's developing your ability to be ok with who you are and not be hard on yourself. I'm generally already a pretty positive guy. I like my life, I like me, I'm ok with being flawed. I can be self-critical where deserved and immediately turn to how I can improve myself or what I do. I wasn't always like that. I understand self-loathing and seeing nothing but blackness about yourself. The journey was long and hard to get out of that but I did it. So these techniques don't really hit the spot. I'm already there. I know and I'm grateful for the good in my life and I don't have (generally) crushing worries or issues in my life.
I recognise that this makes me a little unusual in many ways but I'm not egotistical enough to think that makes me unique (and I'm not thinking of writing a book on it!). There must be many others like me and therefore that means there are many out there for whom this book won't fit either. Thus, I can't quite give it a full five-star rating.
Nevertheless, I have already suggested this book to others - particularly the audio version which has the the author himself reading and is particularly useful for the technique side itself. It is a little like listening to a meditation podcast but without the mystical stuff. This is just pure therapy. You could almost like back on that couch (which no therapist uses, by the way) and let the therapy do the work.
This is good stuff then. It's not for those in the middle of deep trauma - that still needs your doctor's help - and nor does it quite reach all our needs. But if you know that you need help to see things - yourself, your situation and so on - in a better, more positive way, then O'Kane's method is as good as any; and you can get it now - right now -rather than wait months for a handful of sessions that may, or may not, help you at all.
But this book caught my eye. Firstly, it is written by an actual expert - the author is a former clinical lead for the UK's NHS. For me, this is just about as high a credential as you get. It means he isn't just some academic expert teaching it at university and therefore probably rather distanced from the realities of therapy. This is a guy who used to walk the walk and be in charge of a team of others who did the same. To be a clinical lead usually takes years of experience and O'Kane certainly has that. This is no pie-in-the-sky theory.
Secondly, this fits with my views of therapy - very much as espoused by Jeffrey Masson in his classic 'Against Therapy' - that often the 'traditional' therapy sessions are not really that helpful if the therapist becomes a crutch and the patient/client doesn't own their own progress to towards recovery. Most decent holistic practitioners will, these days, attempt to guide their clients towards finding their own solutions and restore themselves. In other words, empower the client rather than dominate in the client-therapist relationship. The therapist does this by training the client in techniques and guiding them to shift their perspectives and reframe situations: in essence the very things O'Kane teaches in this book.
And thirdly, there is a real crisis of need in the NHS right now with nothing like enough therapists. I have to speak personally here although I have friends in the profession who confirm the situation. I have experienced extreme trauma twice in my life (possibly three times but two more or less came together). The first time as in my late childhood and early teens. The second was about nine years ago soon after returning to the UK from living in Bangladesh. Both will be separate books one day - they are on my hitlist to write. The latter trauma didn't just affect me. It took down my entire family. All of us ended up having separate therapy sessions. We needed help immediately, but it didn't come. We all had to wait many weeks, if not months, for sessions (my son is only just getting them now, nine years later despite best efforts). When they finally come, you're limited to just a handful of sessions - typically three I think - and that's it. And in my case, I got a change of therapist after the first session because the original one had moved on to another job elsewhere. I never finished my sessions; they were a waste of time.
In effect, what I ended up doing is exactly what I had to do the first time: I fixed myself. It helps that I am trained in psychology and counselling so I do have a good understanding of the principles although I am no expert by any means. I function well and lead a pretty contented life thanks to my own ways of learning to deal with things.
That doesn't mean it is perfect though. There are still certain kinds of stressors that bring me down. I still get occasional bouts of what I call 'the black dog'. I know how to make it sit and not cause any damage, but still it can hang around for several days before going away again. I don't know if I have the resilience to cope with anything majorly traumatic happening again in my life. I hope I don't get to find out, but it does worry me.
So, O'Kane's book looked a good fit. Techniques I could use for myself, at home, without need for therapy sessions impossible to come by and probably not appropriate anyway. I don't need recovery work; I could do with maintenance and strengthening. That's just what O'Kane promises. He stresses the need to seek professional help if you are going through intense trauma. He does not claim his book can help those in desperate need. This book is aimed at people like me: needing someone to talk to but functioning just fine in general.
O'Kane is partly successful. He offers short mental work outs that are supposed to happen through the day - namely beginning, middle and end of your day. They are mostly reflections on aspects of the day - the good, the bad and the ugly, as it were - and allow you to focus on what you need to reframe the day and build what some psychologists call 'positive self regard'. This is good stuff.
O'Kane himself is very likable. He's open and honest about his own traumas including growing up gay in very Catholic Northern Ireland and dealing with all the shit that comes with that. He is a gentle soul and someone you feel you can instinctively trust. I suspect he was very good at his job and helped a lot of people.
Yet, somehow, these techniques and O'Kane's style, lovely though it is, doesn't work for me. Fundamentally, he's developing your ability to be ok with who you are and not be hard on yourself. I'm generally already a pretty positive guy. I like my life, I like me, I'm ok with being flawed. I can be self-critical where deserved and immediately turn to how I can improve myself or what I do. I wasn't always like that. I understand self-loathing and seeing nothing but blackness about yourself. The journey was long and hard to get out of that but I did it. So these techniques don't really hit the spot. I'm already there. I know and I'm grateful for the good in my life and I don't have (generally) crushing worries or issues in my life.
I recognise that this makes me a little unusual in many ways but I'm not egotistical enough to think that makes me unique (and I'm not thinking of writing a book on it!). There must be many others like me and therefore that means there are many out there for whom this book won't fit either. Thus, I can't quite give it a full five-star rating.
Nevertheless, I have already suggested this book to others - particularly the audio version which has the the author himself reading and is particularly useful for the technique side itself. It is a little like listening to a meditation podcast but without the mystical stuff. This is just pure therapy. You could almost like back on that couch (which no therapist uses, by the way) and let the therapy do the work.
This is good stuff then. It's not for those in the middle of deep trauma - that still needs your doctor's help - and nor does it quite reach all our needs. But if you know that you need help to see things - yourself, your situation and so on - in a better, more positive way, then O'Kane's method is as good as any; and you can get it now - right now -rather than wait months for a handful of sessions that may, or may not, help you at all.
October 21, 2023
As a person with not much experience in therapy or even self care, I found this book a good start on to this self care journey. It's insightful and calming in knowing what had happened in the past doesn't really gonna be everything of you. The quote in the book "you don't have to be a victim of your past" feels kinda like the key idea going around this book. It's liberating knowing about how our emotions work and also how to turn around on situations that is outside of our control.
The writing in this book is also nice. It wasn't anything too difficult to understand and the writer has included a lot of examples to demonstrate the point.
It was generally a good read and I think it's a good start for therapy/self care/helping to process what happened to us in the past and the present.
The writing in this book is also nice. It wasn't anything too difficult to understand and the writer has included a lot of examples to demonstrate the point.
It was generally a good read and I think it's a good start for therapy/self care/helping to process what happened to us in the past and the present.
October 13, 2024
Thought provoking
Owen O’Kane's "How to Be Your Own Therapist" is a refreshing and practical guide that offers readers tools for self-improvement and emotional well-being. In an era where therapy can be costly or inaccessible, O’Kane, a trained psychotherapist, provides an empowering alternative by showing how individuals can manage their mental health independently. His method draws from cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), mindfulness, and self-reflection, offering a comprehensive, user-friendly approach.
Structure and Content
The book is divided into clear sections, each addressing a different aspect of mental health. O'Kane encourages readers to challenge negative thought patterns, identify unhelpful behaviors, and develop practical coping strategies for life’s challenges. There are exercises throughout the book, which are designed to be introspective and help build skills like emotional regulation, self-compassion, and stress management. These activities are easy to follow, making them ideal for someone new to self-therapy or mental health practices.
O’Kane's writing is conversational and compassionate, making complex psychological concepts accessible to the general reader. This balance between professional insight and everyday language helps make the book an engaging read. It’s not just an informative resource but feels like a personal guide, as O’Kane often shares stories from his own life and therapeutic practice, adding a relatable element to his advice.
Strengths
One of the book's greatest strengths is its practicality. The exercises are concrete, with step-by-step instructions that guide readers through problem-solving and self-exploration. O'Kane emphasizes self-awareness and encourages readers to actively work on understanding their triggers, emotions, and habits, which lays the foundation for long-term personal growth.
Another key strength is the balance between theory and action. The book doesn’t just give information; it prompts readers to apply the lessons immediately. This hands-on approach makes the content stick and encourages readers to take ownership of their mental health.
Limitations
For readers who may be struggling with more severe mental health issues, this book might feel limited in scope. While it provides valuable tools for emotional maintenance and everyday challenges, it’s not a substitute for professional therapy when deeper or more complex issues arise. O’Kane acknowledges this in the book, encouraging readers to seek professional help when necessary.
Final Thoughts
“How to Be Your Own Therapist” is a highly valuable resource for those interested in self-improvement and mental health management. Its practical, step-by-step format makes it easy to follow, and O’Kane’s compassionate voice offers reassurance throughout the process. It’s an excellent starting point for anyone seeking greater emotional resilience and control in their life, providing a sense of empowerment in managing mental health independently. While not a replacement for professional therapy in severe cases, it’s an effective companion for those looking to enhance their well-being on their own terms.
Owen O’Kane's "How to Be Your Own Therapist" is a refreshing and practical guide that offers readers tools for self-improvement and emotional well-being. In an era where therapy can be costly or inaccessible, O’Kane, a trained psychotherapist, provides an empowering alternative by showing how individuals can manage their mental health independently. His method draws from cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), mindfulness, and self-reflection, offering a comprehensive, user-friendly approach.
Structure and Content
The book is divided into clear sections, each addressing a different aspect of mental health. O'Kane encourages readers to challenge negative thought patterns, identify unhelpful behaviors, and develop practical coping strategies for life’s challenges. There are exercises throughout the book, which are designed to be introspective and help build skills like emotional regulation, self-compassion, and stress management. These activities are easy to follow, making them ideal for someone new to self-therapy or mental health practices.
O’Kane's writing is conversational and compassionate, making complex psychological concepts accessible to the general reader. This balance between professional insight and everyday language helps make the book an engaging read. It’s not just an informative resource but feels like a personal guide, as O’Kane often shares stories from his own life and therapeutic practice, adding a relatable element to his advice.
Strengths
One of the book's greatest strengths is its practicality. The exercises are concrete, with step-by-step instructions that guide readers through problem-solving and self-exploration. O'Kane emphasizes self-awareness and encourages readers to actively work on understanding their triggers, emotions, and habits, which lays the foundation for long-term personal growth.
Another key strength is the balance between theory and action. The book doesn’t just give information; it prompts readers to apply the lessons immediately. This hands-on approach makes the content stick and encourages readers to take ownership of their mental health.
Limitations
For readers who may be struggling with more severe mental health issues, this book might feel limited in scope. While it provides valuable tools for emotional maintenance and everyday challenges, it’s not a substitute for professional therapy when deeper or more complex issues arise. O’Kane acknowledges this in the book, encouraging readers to seek professional help when necessary.
Final Thoughts
“How to Be Your Own Therapist” is a highly valuable resource for those interested in self-improvement and mental health management. Its practical, step-by-step format makes it easy to follow, and O’Kane’s compassionate voice offers reassurance throughout the process. It’s an excellent starting point for anyone seeking greater emotional resilience and control in their life, providing a sense of empowerment in managing mental health independently. While not a replacement for professional therapy in severe cases, it’s an effective companion for those looking to enhance their well-being on their own terms.
December 27, 2025
W tej książce Owen O’Kane, doświadczony psychoterapeuta i były dyrektor kliniczny w brytyjskim NHS, podejmuje się ambitnego zadania: chce zdemokratyzować terapię i uczynić ją dostępną dla każdego. Autor wychodzi z założenia, że nie każdy ma czas lub pieniądze na wizyty u specjalisty, ale każdy zasługuje na narzędzia, które pomogą mu zrozumieć siebie.
Książka jest podzielona na trzy główne sekcje, odzwierciedlające proces terapeutyczny:
Zrozumienie swojej historii: Analiza przeszłości, dzieciństwa i tego, jak ukształtowały one nasze obecne schematy myślowe.
Zrozumienie swoich problemów: Identyfikacja "szkodliwych pętli" (np. lęku, niskiej samooceny).
Narzędzia zmiany: Konkretne techniki oparte na CBT (terapii poznawczo-behawioralnej), Mindfulness (uważności) i terapii interpersonalnej.
Całość jest zaprojektowana tak, aby pracować nad sobą małymi krokami – tytułowe „10 minut dziennie” to realny czas potrzebny na wykonanie ćwiczeń, które budują odporność psychiczną.
To jedna z najbardziej szczerych i użytecznych książek o zdrowiu psychicznym na rynku. Owen O’Kane nie obiecuje magicznych uzdrowień, ale oferuje coś cenniejszego – mapę do zrozumienia własnego umysłu.
Dlaczego warto przeczytać tę książkę:
Odczarowanie terapii: Autor zdejmuje z psychoterapii otoczkę tajemniczości i wstydu. Pisze prostym, ciepłym językiem, sprawiając, że czytelnik czuje się, jakby rozmawiał z zaufanym przyjacielem, który akurat jest świetnym fachowcem.
Osobista odwaga autora: O’Kane buduje zaufanie, dzieląc się własnymi trudnościami (dorastanie w Irlandii Północnej w czasie konfliktu, zmagania z akceptacją swojej orientacji). To sprawia, że jego rady nie brzmią jak wykład z wieży z kości słoniowej, ale jak słowa kogoś, kto sam przeszedł tę drogę.
Konkretne "Narzędziownia": Książka nie kończy się na teorii. Zawiera świetne ćwiczenia, np. analizę "Twojej Historii" (jak narracja o własnym życiu nas ogranicza) czy techniki przerywania ruminacji (natrętnych myśli).
Realizm: Obietnica "10 minut" nie jest chwytem marketingowym. Autor rozumie, że w zabieganym świecie nikt nie ma godziny na medytację. Ćwiczenia są skondensowane i zaprojektowane tak, by dawały maksymalny efekt w minimalnym czasie.
To pozycja obowiązkowa dla każdego, kto chce o siebie zadbać, ale boi się pójść na terapię lub go na nią nie stać. Owen O’Kane udowadnia, że przy odpowiednich narzędziach i odrobinie chęci, sami możemy stać się swoimi najlepszymi uzdrowicielami. Mądra, empatyczna i niezwykle potrzebna książka.
Książka jest podzielona na trzy główne sekcje, odzwierciedlające proces terapeutyczny:
Zrozumienie swojej historii: Analiza przeszłości, dzieciństwa i tego, jak ukształtowały one nasze obecne schematy myślowe.
Zrozumienie swoich problemów: Identyfikacja "szkodliwych pętli" (np. lęku, niskiej samooceny).
Narzędzia zmiany: Konkretne techniki oparte na CBT (terapii poznawczo-behawioralnej), Mindfulness (uważności) i terapii interpersonalnej.
Całość jest zaprojektowana tak, aby pracować nad sobą małymi krokami – tytułowe „10 minut dziennie” to realny czas potrzebny na wykonanie ćwiczeń, które budują odporność psychiczną.
To jedna z najbardziej szczerych i użytecznych książek o zdrowiu psychicznym na rynku. Owen O’Kane nie obiecuje magicznych uzdrowień, ale oferuje coś cenniejszego – mapę do zrozumienia własnego umysłu.
Dlaczego warto przeczytać tę książkę:
Odczarowanie terapii: Autor zdejmuje z psychoterapii otoczkę tajemniczości i wstydu. Pisze prostym, ciepłym językiem, sprawiając, że czytelnik czuje się, jakby rozmawiał z zaufanym przyjacielem, który akurat jest świetnym fachowcem.
Osobista odwaga autora: O’Kane buduje zaufanie, dzieląc się własnymi trudnościami (dorastanie w Irlandii Północnej w czasie konfliktu, zmagania z akceptacją swojej orientacji). To sprawia, że jego rady nie brzmią jak wykład z wieży z kości słoniowej, ale jak słowa kogoś, kto sam przeszedł tę drogę.
Konkretne "Narzędziownia": Książka nie kończy się na teorii. Zawiera świetne ćwiczenia, np. analizę "Twojej Historii" (jak narracja o własnym życiu nas ogranicza) czy techniki przerywania ruminacji (natrętnych myśli).
Realizm: Obietnica "10 minut" nie jest chwytem marketingowym. Autor rozumie, że w zabieganym świecie nikt nie ma godziny na medytację. Ćwiczenia są skondensowane i zaprojektowane tak, by dawały maksymalny efekt w minimalnym czasie.
To pozycja obowiązkowa dla każdego, kto chce o siebie zadbać, ale boi się pójść na terapię lub go na nią nie stać. Owen O’Kane udowadnia, że przy odpowiednich narzędziach i odrobinie chęci, sami możemy stać się swoimi najlepszymi uzdrowicielami. Mądra, empatyczna i niezwykle potrzebna książka.
July 10, 2024
This book is in two parts, the first part is great for discovering more about yourself and the second part is the self therapy implementation.
While I found first part very effective, the second part -not so much.
I cannot make myself remember what to do in the 10 minutes of self therapy.
Quoting some text that I liked in the book:
“We all have the capacity to have violent, sexual, angry or blasphemous thoughts that run counter to our values or belief systems. None of these thoughts define who you are but if you relate to them as if they do, then you will feel distress.”
Then he talks about how to reprogram -ve thought patterns. Recognise an unhelpful thought pattern, check if the evidence to support that thought is true, replace with a more helpful alt, then let go of the unhelpful thought.
“The incredible power of this technique is that each time you do it to disrupt unhelpful ways of thinking, you are encouraging your brain to respond differently in the future… your brain has continued to deliver these unhelpful thoughts on the basis that they are protecting you…
But when you start challenging them, your brain recognises that you’re not buying into familiar thought patterns, and instead you’ve presented more rational, adaptive alternatives. You’re starting to reprogram your mind to think more flexibly. From thereon in, your brain will start responding with healthier thoughts… you don’t have to be a victim of your thoughts.”
“It’s easy to fall into the trap of keeping going until we’re exhausted. And when you’re exhausted, it’s also easy to fall back into bad habits.”
“Stop for a moment and consider how often you misinterpret others’ words, gestures, facial expressions and behaviours every day. Consider how much distress this causes of you don’t stop to examine whether your initial assumption is true or not.”
“Every time you substitute a negative response with a healthier response, you change your neuropathways.”
While I found first part very effective, the second part -not so much.
I cannot make myself remember what to do in the 10 minutes of self therapy.
Quoting some text that I liked in the book:
“We all have the capacity to have violent, sexual, angry or blasphemous thoughts that run counter to our values or belief systems. None of these thoughts define who you are but if you relate to them as if they do, then you will feel distress.”
Then he talks about how to reprogram -ve thought patterns. Recognise an unhelpful thought pattern, check if the evidence to support that thought is true, replace with a more helpful alt, then let go of the unhelpful thought.
“The incredible power of this technique is that each time you do it to disrupt unhelpful ways of thinking, you are encouraging your brain to respond differently in the future… your brain has continued to deliver these unhelpful thoughts on the basis that they are protecting you…
But when you start challenging them, your brain recognises that you’re not buying into familiar thought patterns, and instead you’ve presented more rational, adaptive alternatives. You’re starting to reprogram your mind to think more flexibly. From thereon in, your brain will start responding with healthier thoughts… you don’t have to be a victim of your thoughts.”
“It’s easy to fall into the trap of keeping going until we’re exhausted. And when you’re exhausted, it’s also easy to fall back into bad habits.”
“Stop for a moment and consider how often you misinterpret others’ words, gestures, facial expressions and behaviours every day. Consider how much distress this causes of you don’t stop to examine whether your initial assumption is true or not.”
“Every time you substitute a negative response with a healthier response, you change your neuropathways.”
Read
May 5, 2025Melhores trechos: "...Cada modelo de terapia tem uma explicação diferente, mas o significado nunca muda. As convicções arraigadas são os pilares que sustentam toda a nossa visão de mundo e constituição psicológica. Elas podem ser divididas em quatro categorias principais e, em geral, manifestam-se da seguinte forma: Segurança e proteção: sentir que você está em segurança ou não. Amabilidade: sentir que você é uma pessoa digna de amor ou não. Autovalorização: sentir que você tem valor ou não. Esperança: sentir esperança ou não... Crescemos como pessoa quando nos permitimos acessar algumas das partes mais sombrias de nossas experiências. Ou, como gosto de dizer às vezes, é errando que se aprende!... Gostaria que você adotasse um modelo bem estruturado para relembrar as situações que lhe causaram estresse ou aborrecimento ao longo do dia:
1. Acontecimento: descreva o ocorrido da forma mais objetiva e fiel que puder
2. Interpretação: descreva a interpretação ou conclusão que você inferiu a partir do ocorrido
3. Consequências: descreva o impacto que a interpretação do ocorrido exerce em seus pensamentos, suas emoções, seu bem-estar e sua capacidade de pegar no sono
4. Desfecho: descreva as armadilhas de pensamento em que acredita estar caindo, bem como as evidências que corroboram seus padrões de pensamentos negativos, os pensamentos alternativos produtivos que vão substituir os improdutivos e, por fim, deixe o pensamento negativo de lado... Quando terminar de registrar os acontecimentos do dia, releia um por vez. Depois disso, tome a decisão consciente de deixar cada um deles para trás... A etapa de refletir e redefinir em sua autoterapia diária chegou ao fim. Em três minutos, você:
1. Registrou os momentos do dia que lhe causaram angústia ou aborrecimento, depois os deixou para trás.
2. Descobriu os aprendizados que a vida lhe trouxe hoje.
3. Limpou os aspectos negativos do seu dia.
4. Permitiu-se ser energizado por uma força maior...."
1. Acontecimento: descreva o ocorrido da forma mais objetiva e fiel que puder
2. Interpretação: descreva a interpretação ou conclusão que você inferiu a partir do ocorrido
3. Consequências: descreva o impacto que a interpretação do ocorrido exerce em seus pensamentos, suas emoções, seu bem-estar e sua capacidade de pegar no sono
4. Desfecho: descreva as armadilhas de pensamento em que acredita estar caindo, bem como as evidências que corroboram seus padrões de pensamentos negativos, os pensamentos alternativos produtivos que vão substituir os improdutivos e, por fim, deixe o pensamento negativo de lado... Quando terminar de registrar os acontecimentos do dia, releia um por vez. Depois disso, tome a decisão consciente de deixar cada um deles para trás... A etapa de refletir e redefinir em sua autoterapia diária chegou ao fim. Em três minutos, você:
1. Registrou os momentos do dia que lhe causaram angústia ou aborrecimento, depois os deixou para trás.
2. Descobriu os aprendizados que a vida lhe trouxe hoje.
3. Limpou os aspectos negativos do seu dia.
4. Permitiu-se ser energizado por uma força maior...."
September 9, 2024
Therapy isn't accessible to everyone who might benefit from it. Knowing this, Owen O'Kane, a gay man who grew up in an Irish Catholic neighbourhood in Belfast, sets out to bring the principles of therapy back to the basics, in a language that everyone can understand.
First off, I expected this book to be much longer, so if you're looking for a big revolution and all the knowledge of a PH.D of psychiatry in one book, you'll likely be disappointed. What you will be reading is a summary of the foundations of what therapy is, why it's useful for everyone regardless of their background and how we can become better humans by changing our habits.
A lot of the topics discussed were common sense and are recurring themes in most self-help books I've read: sleep enough, eat healthy food, exercise, manage your stress levels. A simple Google Search would have given me the same answers on how to improve my life. The author does add one very important point though that none of us have enough of: self-compassion. A lot of people can be hard on themselves and thereby make their suffering worse. In my opinion, the real target audience of this book are perfectionists like me, because we urgently need a reminder that we are humans and not machines. It felt good to be reminded that it's okay to make mistakes.
I also liked that there were some writing prompts included, which could provide useful for people who like to journal. Overall, this book is a good starting point in deciding whether therapy is for you and/or recommended for people who cannot afford therapy but still want to implement small changes in their daily lives.
First off, I expected this book to be much longer, so if you're looking for a big revolution and all the knowledge of a PH.D of psychiatry in one book, you'll likely be disappointed. What you will be reading is a summary of the foundations of what therapy is, why it's useful for everyone regardless of their background and how we can become better humans by changing our habits.
A lot of the topics discussed were common sense and are recurring themes in most self-help books I've read: sleep enough, eat healthy food, exercise, manage your stress levels. A simple Google Search would have given me the same answers on how to improve my life. The author does add one very important point though that none of us have enough of: self-compassion. A lot of people can be hard on themselves and thereby make their suffering worse. In my opinion, the real target audience of this book are perfectionists like me, because we urgently need a reminder that we are humans and not machines. It felt good to be reminded that it's okay to make mistakes.
I also liked that there were some writing prompts included, which could provide useful for people who like to journal. Overall, this book is a good starting point in deciding whether therapy is for you and/or recommended for people who cannot afford therapy but still want to implement small changes in their daily lives.
August 21, 2023
This is a good short book about how to being your own therapist. One thing I have learned going through my own personal life. People may not be available to you. Everyone has their own lives. Including me. Plus the people you may know the longest may not be the best choice in some cases to open up to. People have their own solutions that worked for them and assume it would work for you which is not always the case. Plus also depending on how long a person has known you they might not seeing you as an adult they might be giving advice to you thinking child or a teenager. Outdated. A few of my family members by a few generations says the following I don’t get these young people. Not knowing that they old. I am middle aged 3 years away from retirement and could retire early. Then lumping me in anyone younger than them. Do yourselves a favour don’t take advice from these boomers especially you may not be the person you once were. This includes for everyone also but I had to lay out some family members made that mistake. Anyway this book is a very good read and short also. It gives good practical advice but be open to talk to people who do get you. This might include family around your age and friends also. Someone who is not going to judge you. Anyone who uses the language: You have to. You must…… Don’t listen to that person if you are a grown adult. A good read anyway. Check out the book. I read it a while back but forgot to review it.
April 15, 2024
This is one of those books that I didn’t even know it existed, but that changes something in your life after you come across it. Let me explain myself a bit, then you can judge by yourself.
I’m a curious person, and any self-development book catches my attention. For that reason, I have read and rated many of them. From all of them, and my psychology studies, I grew a firm belief that one size doesn’t fit all. Hence, no self-development book (I refuse to call them self-help books, but that’s a topic for another time) will assist everyone on everything. Some of them are just marketing, some others are a waste of time, but occasionally there is one that feels useful. This is that useful book.
To me ‘How to be your own therapist’ is a workbook. This book would be useful for people that try to improve but are stuck and don’t know how to proceed with certain things in life. It gives a bunch of questions to reflect on and that can possibly help to keep the wheel moving.
For reference, I found similarities with concepts around: shadow work, positive mindset and gratitude. The author names them differently.
Who won’t benefit from this read?
- People that expect the author to give them the answer to their problems.
- People that go into it thinking it won’t help.
- People that are going through something greater than themselves. This book doesn’t substitute professional help (and the author says it several times). But it could be a good companion.
I’m a curious person, and any self-development book catches my attention. For that reason, I have read and rated many of them. From all of them, and my psychology studies, I grew a firm belief that one size doesn’t fit all. Hence, no self-development book (I refuse to call them self-help books, but that’s a topic for another time) will assist everyone on everything. Some of them are just marketing, some others are a waste of time, but occasionally there is one that feels useful. This is that useful book.
To me ‘How to be your own therapist’ is a workbook. This book would be useful for people that try to improve but are stuck and don’t know how to proceed with certain things in life. It gives a bunch of questions to reflect on and that can possibly help to keep the wheel moving.
For reference, I found similarities with concepts around: shadow work, positive mindset and gratitude. The author names them differently.
Who won’t benefit from this read?
- People that expect the author to give them the answer to their problems.
- People that go into it thinking it won’t help.
- People that are going through something greater than themselves. This book doesn’t substitute professional help (and the author says it several times). But it could be a good companion.
September 23, 2024
If you can’t control the outcome, allow yourself to let go of that expectation and just be. 🪷
4/5⭐️
How To Be Your Own Therapist by Owen O’Kane is a self-improvement book that literally does what it says on the cover!
Reading the book has been a personal journey that brought up so many emotions and revelations. I love how the author is completely relatable in a sense that he doesn’t judge, he understands how his words might be perceived as cliché and annoying, and he’s also opening up about his struggles so he felt more humane. He gives warnings after warnings before each difficult topic so as a reader I wasn’t startled jumping in.
The steps of actions suggested are clear and open, it wasn’t difficult to do but it does take work. One thing that could’ve made the book so much better if it has like a summary at the end of the points that we should do so we don’t have to go search on pages for each points before practicing.
I’m going to be very particularly careful not to simplify the contents of the book so I don’t share too much pointers or anything here blatantly. I believe that the message that the author was trying to deliver should be digested fully within its context so it won’t mislead.
Needless to say, this book is not your typical pop psychology book that are full with flowery words and toxic positivity. It felt like a friend rooting for you to be healthier and kinder to yourself in many ways.
4/5⭐️
How To Be Your Own Therapist by Owen O’Kane is a self-improvement book that literally does what it says on the cover!
Reading the book has been a personal journey that brought up so many emotions and revelations. I love how the author is completely relatable in a sense that he doesn’t judge, he understands how his words might be perceived as cliché and annoying, and he’s also opening up about his struggles so he felt more humane. He gives warnings after warnings before each difficult topic so as a reader I wasn’t startled jumping in.
The steps of actions suggested are clear and open, it wasn’t difficult to do but it does take work. One thing that could’ve made the book so much better if it has like a summary at the end of the points that we should do so we don’t have to go search on pages for each points before practicing.
I’m going to be very particularly careful not to simplify the contents of the book so I don’t share too much pointers or anything here blatantly. I believe that the message that the author was trying to deliver should be digested fully within its context so it won’t mislead.
Needless to say, this book is not your typical pop psychology book that are full with flowery words and toxic positivity. It felt like a friend rooting for you to be healthier and kinder to yourself in many ways.
December 25, 2025
Notes from the book...
Four key areas of struggle: (1) Lack of self-worth. (2) Not feeling safe and secure. (3) Sense of hopelessness. (4) Questioning your lovability.
Recognize what you struggle with. Look right at it, dispassionately.
Transformation can only happen with actions.
The four actions of therapy:
(1) Restructuring how you think: (a) Recognize our thoughts. (b) Replacing negative thoughts with thoughts that are more helpful. (2) Rewriting your rules and beliefs. (3) Engaging in healthy behaviors. (4) Engaging with life.
The Four Commitments to Self: (1) Talking to yourself as though you are someone who matters. (2) Looking after yourself. (3) Going easy on yourself. (4) Showing up in your life authentically.
Ten Minutes a Day
Four minutes early in the day.
Minute 1: How am I doing today?
Minute 2: What do I need today?
Minute 3: Gratitude and intention.
Minute 4: Grounding.
Next three minutes. Take a break in the day. Stop and make sure our minds are in a healthy place.
Minute 5: Tweaking thinking traps and unhealthy behaviors.
Minute 6: Healthy behavior review.
Minute 7: Random act of kindness.
Reflect on your day at the end so you can sleep peacefully.
Minute 8: Journaling and letting go.
Minute 9: Lessons of the day.
Minute 10: Cleansing, energizing, and closing your day.
Four key areas of struggle: (1) Lack of self-worth. (2) Not feeling safe and secure. (3) Sense of hopelessness. (4) Questioning your lovability.
Recognize what you struggle with. Look right at it, dispassionately.
Transformation can only happen with actions.
The four actions of therapy:
(1) Restructuring how you think: (a) Recognize our thoughts. (b) Replacing negative thoughts with thoughts that are more helpful. (2) Rewriting your rules and beliefs. (3) Engaging in healthy behaviors. (4) Engaging with life.
The Four Commitments to Self: (1) Talking to yourself as though you are someone who matters. (2) Looking after yourself. (3) Going easy on yourself. (4) Showing up in your life authentically.
Ten Minutes a Day
Four minutes early in the day.
Minute 1: How am I doing today?
Minute 2: What do I need today?
Minute 3: Gratitude and intention.
Minute 4: Grounding.
Next three minutes. Take a break in the day. Stop and make sure our minds are in a healthy place.
Minute 5: Tweaking thinking traps and unhealthy behaviors.
Minute 6: Healthy behavior review.
Minute 7: Random act of kindness.
Reflect on your day at the end so you can sleep peacefully.
Minute 8: Journaling and letting go.
Minute 9: Lessons of the day.
Minute 10: Cleansing, energizing, and closing your day.
April 11, 2023
The book is a very good detailed guide into a 10-minute daily check-up on yourself. I personally did a summary table on these 10 minutes: what should be done? said? thought of?
I do think that if you've read a lot of self-help books (the 5am club, atomic habits, etc.), you will feel a bit of repetition in terms of why and how one checks up on themselves. I also think that you should try to apply the book learnings at least a couple of times in order to judge whether it is really beneficial or not. I personally did that, and I appreciated looking out for my feelings and emotions during the day, even for my physical changes. However, it really is relative and depends on each person, as some people might not be capable of stopping for even 2-3 minutes and talking to themselves about issues they are really afraid of confronting. That is why there is the actual therapy sessions which the book does not fail to remind its readers that it is not an alternative to actual therapy.
I would judge the book as one that constitutes of daily morning-afternoon-night set of reminders to make sure you don't lose it.
Good book for a long flight!
I do think that if you've read a lot of self-help books (the 5am club, atomic habits, etc.), you will feel a bit of repetition in terms of why and how one checks up on themselves. I also think that you should try to apply the book learnings at least a couple of times in order to judge whether it is really beneficial or not. I personally did that, and I appreciated looking out for my feelings and emotions during the day, even for my physical changes. However, it really is relative and depends on each person, as some people might not be capable of stopping for even 2-3 minutes and talking to themselves about issues they are really afraid of confronting. That is why there is the actual therapy sessions which the book does not fail to remind its readers that it is not an alternative to actual therapy.
I would judge the book as one that constitutes of daily morning-afternoon-night set of reminders to make sure you don't lose it.
Good book for a long flight!
August 5, 2025
Cum să devii propriul terapeut Owen O'Kane
Care era probabilitatea de a întâlni în următoarea carte parcursă o dezvăluire de-a autorului...aceea că este homosexual ???
Atâta timp cât viata sa privată nu este expusă nouă, cititorilor, nu am nicio problemă în a parcuge această carte.
Dar se citește această carte numai si numai dacă consideri ca ai nevoie de ajutor si crezi că te-ar putea ajuta, altfel o să o parcurgi foarte greu, cum am făcut-o eu.
Simplifică teoria si o face utilizabila în viață de fiecare zi. Prima jumătate a cărții este o călătorie de terapie personală, iar a doua de autoterapie de zece minute/zi, pentru a ne vindeca.
Trebuie făcută o retrospectivă a vieții pentru a înțelege cine suntem astăzi.
Viața ne pune în tot felul de situații dificile, depinde de noi în felul in care reacționam.
Suntem o generație centrată pe viteza si confort.
Nicio terapie/autoterapie nu vă poate ajuta cu adevărat până nu vă împărați si nu vă acceptați viata ca atare.
Care era probabilitatea de a întâlni în următoarea carte parcursă o dezvăluire de-a autorului...aceea că este homosexual ???
Atâta timp cât viata sa privată nu este expusă nouă, cititorilor, nu am nicio problemă în a parcuge această carte.
Dar se citește această carte numai si numai dacă consideri ca ai nevoie de ajutor si crezi că te-ar putea ajuta, altfel o să o parcurgi foarte greu, cum am făcut-o eu.
Simplifică teoria si o face utilizabila în viață de fiecare zi. Prima jumătate a cărții este o călătorie de terapie personală, iar a doua de autoterapie de zece minute/zi, pentru a ne vindeca.
Trebuie făcută o retrospectivă a vieții pentru a înțelege cine suntem astăzi.
Viața ne pune în tot felul de situații dificile, depinde de noi în felul in care reacționam.
Suntem o generație centrată pe viteza si confort.
Nicio terapie/autoterapie nu vă poate ajuta cu adevărat până nu vă împărați si nu vă acceptați viata ca atare.
November 24, 2025
How to Be Your Own Therapist is a practical, clear, and encouraging guide for anyone who wants to understand themselves better. It shouldn’t be considered a substitute for therapy, but it’s definitely a thoughtful companion to it.
The writing is simple and accessible, making even the heavier ideas easy to digest, though it does feel a bit dragging in parts. What I appreciated most is that the book never promises instant fixes or dramatic breakthroughs—it focuses on real, steady inner work. The assignments are genuinely tough and require effort, just like real-life therapy, which makes them meaningful.
What really stands out is the book’s emphasis on responsibility and awareness. It’s a grounding read that I will recommend if you are considering therapy. It will give you fair idea what to expect.
The writing is simple and accessible, making even the heavier ideas easy to digest, though it does feel a bit dragging in parts. What I appreciated most is that the book never promises instant fixes or dramatic breakthroughs—it focuses on real, steady inner work. The assignments are genuinely tough and require effort, just like real-life therapy, which makes them meaningful.
What really stands out is the book’s emphasis on responsibility and awareness. It’s a grounding read that I will recommend if you are considering therapy. It will give you fair idea what to expect.
January 24, 2024
The author recommends a simple course of questions to be done 10 minutes a day, morning afternoon and before you sleep. The steps of questions helps to reflect and be more self aware of out mind and body
According to this book, there are 4 emotional struggles that we may go through. To overcome it, we have to first identify and self aware of the perceived negative (eg struggles) and switch it to a positive experience
This book touches on self compassion which is essential for a healthy body and mind.
Reading this book isn’t going to be enough. It requires action long after you finish reading
This book by no means able to replace one on one therapy if you have deeper issues but it is a gist of what therapy is and how it works
According to this book, there are 4 emotional struggles that we may go through. To overcome it, we have to first identify and self aware of the perceived negative (eg struggles) and switch it to a positive experience
This book touches on self compassion which is essential for a healthy body and mind.
Reading this book isn’t going to be enough. It requires action long after you finish reading
This book by no means able to replace one on one therapy if you have deeper issues but it is a gist of what therapy is and how it works
September 18, 2022
This book served as a great reminder of taking time out to become aware of your own emotional state & mental health, regardless of whether you feel you need to or not!
I don’t see this as a “self-help” book, it’s more of a strategic tool-kit towards becoming attuned to your inner thoughts, triggers and general mental health. Owen has a wonderful way of demystifying the connotations that are associated to needing a “therapist”. In doing so he switches the readers perspective to one that is a sense of self-empowerment.
A great resource, a tool-kit for life, that can be re-visited more than once, depending on when you feel you need the support most.
I don’t see this as a “self-help” book, it’s more of a strategic tool-kit towards becoming attuned to your inner thoughts, triggers and general mental health. Owen has a wonderful way of demystifying the connotations that are associated to needing a “therapist”. In doing so he switches the readers perspective to one that is a sense of self-empowerment.
A great resource, a tool-kit for life, that can be re-visited more than once, depending on when you feel you need the support most.
September 24, 2022
Another great book by Owen O'Kane, I can't seem to get enough of his work recently! I love the way he talks / writes about mental health, it really feels like he's speaking to you directly. Having had therapy myself, I do often miss those conversations and it did wonders for my quality of life so it's been a pleasure to read this book and be reminded of some of the strategies I learned with my own therapist. Owen is absolutely right that therapists don't fix us, we need to put the work in ourselves and it is a daily commitment we need to make to ourselves if we are to see a true impact. I think a lot of people would benefit from reading this book, I'm glad I did! 5/5 stars.
November 20, 2023
I made it through my crisis period without any insurance or positive healthcare. I remember reading that you can't beat bipolar manic depression by yourself but I didn't have a choice. I started reading self help books and watching YouTube videos and found myself becoming one with nature and the universe. This book will help many people in my past situations but it's up to the individual to decide whether they want to change and stick to it regardless of their current circumstances....kudos to the author for making this tough choice, I'm sure his peers weren't thrilled but everyone's situation is different and some help is much better than none....
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