my father's eyes, my mother's rage

by Rose Brik

"My Father's Eyes, My Mother's Rage" is the raw and emotionally charged debut poetry collection by Rose Brik. Rose delves into the intricate layers of the human experience with profound insight. Through her verses, she fearlessly navigates themes of the mother and father wound, childhood trauma, domestic violence, grief, mental health struggles, love, motherhood and ultimately, the process of healing. Her words possess the power to unearth buried emotions and memories, evoking a deep sense of empathy and reflection in her readers."I have my mother's rage,and my father's ability to walk away.this, I've learned, is a very lonely combination"- from my father's eyes, my mother's rage

Genres: Poetry, Self Help, Nonfiction, Mental Health, Psychology, Family, Emotional

250 pages, Paperback

First published November 12, 2023

About the author

Rose Brik is a Canadian writer and poet. She has been writing since a young age and professionally as a freelance writer, since 2012. Rose's writing resonates with readers on a profoundly relatable level, becoming a mirror of shared emotions and universal truths, creating an intimate connection between her and her readers. When she isn't writing, she can be found with the people she loves; cherishing each moment she has with them.

connect on all social media platforms @rosebrikpoet

Reviews

[Shannon · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book gave words to all of my scars.
Now, please excuse me while I grab a weighted blanket and wrap myself into an emotional burrito, and eat raw cookie dough.

[Marisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

I need a hug

[buket · Rating 4 out of 5]

i have my father’s eyes(bluish green) and my mother’s rage(keeping things inside until exploding over smallest thing and hurting wrong people with my words)

to this day, I pray I don’t have a daughter.
that way, there is never a chance to end up like my mother.

I have searched for love all over and in everybody else. when I couldn't find it anywhere,
I learned to love myself.

💔

[blank ⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺ · Rating 5 out of 5]

To be loved is to be seen. I felt very seen, and now I don’t feel as alone.
People who haven’t experienced childhood trauma probably won’t resonate with this book as deeply as those who have, but I still urge them to give this a shot. Perhaps it will give you some insight into the minds of someone you care about.

[Casey Reads 🌸 · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is written specifically for people who had childhood trauma. I don’t think other people will be able to understand or feel the emotions of this book, so it is only for people who can in my opinion.

There were some parts where it felt like I had written it and it was exactly about my life. There were also other parts that I didn’t relate to, but that I respected, because they were part of her feelings and journey.

I saw this received some hate from people saying this is more of a journal and less poetry. To be honest, I purchased it specifically to feel like someone else understood some of my feelings, so the format did not bother me.

[Majlinda Rusi · Rating 2 out of 5]

An extra star for suffering. This was a journal not a poetry book.

[itselv:#&309;]

I appreciate the author’s vulnerability, and feel her pain, but cannot say the same about her skill as a poet.

[rose mary ♡ · Rating 3 out of 5]

ohh ❤️‍🩹

[Mimi Reads · Rating 5 out of 5]

Painfully beautiful.
How is it that every single page hit home.
5+ heartbreaking stars

[Maria · Rating 1 out of 5]

The author could have done with an editor, a writing class and a very honest friend because this definitely felt like a first (maybe second - if you’re feeling generous) draft instead of a finished work.

It’s such a shame that these instagram poetry books are so popular (and thus consistently recommended to me). There is absolutely no finesse, no depth at all to this collection, even though some of the ideas might have actually turned out great with more effort.

[Emmy · Rating 2 out of 5]

oh! this fucked me up!
but this really desperately needed an editor... weak writing made it hard to enjoy

[Dayna · Rating 3 out of 5]

Lots of Misspellings

The content was okay, but the constant spelling errors took me out of it a bit. Otherwise, it was decent. I felt it was too repetitive & tried too hard to rhyme at times.

[Kiara Luciano Rosario · Rating 1 out of 5]

There a lot to say about this book, but the first think I’ll say is that I was truly disappointed. I wouldn’t personally call this a poetry book more so diary entries. She wrote poems in a clear cut manner, just telling us things without any ambiguity. What I like about poems is metaphors, figuring out myself what’s going on and interpreting my own ideas about the poem. There was no reading between the lines in this book because the lines left no room for more thought. Which is why I think it’s more of an informal diary entry, notes app thought, text message to a friend type of writing style and not poetry.
All genres and writing styles have guidelines that they follow that classify them as a type of book and I felt that although the author used some of them, they were not used in the correct manner. The poems are in stanzas of course, but when you read them they could be written as sentences and paragraphs, there’s really no need for breaks because she isn’t writing a poem. She italicizes sentences, uses repetition, and parenthesis, but it is not used in the way poets use it. It’s as if she closed her eyes and randomly chose what part to italicize, repeat or put in parenthesis. They didn’t add anything to the effect of the poem as they are usually used. It felt like it was done just to say she did it not to create affect.
The topics are heavy and raw topics which a lot of people can relate too, but a poetry book isn’t suppose to feel like you are just reading a text from your friend. There was a lot of potential here and I just think it was missed.

[Jessica Jocelyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is absolutely incredible. An amazing debut collection. Can’t recommend it enough! An absolute must for any poetry reader.

[Sarah Heitkemper · Rating 5 out of 5]

me before- this book is probably going to wreck me
me after- wow that book absolutely destroyed me

and built me back up and made me feel seen and not alone. what a read.

[Abi Davis · Rating 1 out of 5]

Sorry to be a hater, but I really didn’t like this at all. The serious subject matter was completely undermined by the truly heinous writing (again, sorry).

[Myra✧₊⁺ · Rating 5 out of 5]

as I child who comes from a broken home, this is the most heartbreaking thing I’ve ever read

“in the book of my life, there are pages left bare
the love between a father and daughter
should have been there.

he was a shadow, a void unseen,
there will always be an emptiness
where he could have been.

my eyes have been searching for his love,
for his presence to fill up some space.
now it’s been so long without him,
I recognize his absence more than his face.”

[Karolína Hubáčková · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rose Brik, I hate you for writing this, but I love you greatly at the same time. For a long time, I haven't had an ugly cry in public. The pain of this poetry book reminded me of my many scars and forced me to reflect on them once more. I do have my father's eyes that remind me of my father every day, what kind of person he was and still is, hating my own face, as if I did the bad and ugly, but I fight it with the feeling, that they should be only mine instead. And my mother gave me rage, which drives me through the bad and chaotic days, encourages me to go past my previous establishments and sometimes bursts in places, where it doesn't need to explode. Now I don't have any of them around anymore, the fighting between them is over, but not yet the one inside of me.

I do have my father's eyes and my mother's rage.

Thank you Rose Brik

[Rita · Rating 5 out of 5]

ALL THE THINGS I'VE NEVER SAID

" you cry and you scream
and you beg for the bare minimum.
but he won't comfort you as you need,
he won't come to you at all, he'll just leave.
why do you need to learn
the same lesson over again?
didn't your father already teach you that? "

I knew I had to read this book when I came across this poem on Instagram and burst into tears. It perfectly described what I think and feel every single day of my life - that I am not worthy of everyone's love, given that even those who are "obliged" to love me (my parents) are incapable of doing that properly.

"if I was not wanted by the ones
who should love me the most,
why am I here?"

This collection literally broke my heart as, poem by poem, told my story, revealing my most secret and unconfessed thoughts: the fear of becoming just like my mother; the way living sometimes feels like dying; the impossibility of expressing my feelings without crying; the obsessive worries about the future. And, when I thought I couldn't suffer more, then arrived the sections about grief and motherhood.
In short, I spent the most painful 40 minutes of my entire life - crying hard while listening to a playlist of instrumental sad songs. I could even identify myself with the lines about toxic relationships and heartbreak, which portrayed the deep sadness I feel every time one little fault of his makes me believe I am losing him...
And then it came the section about love and healing, when I realized why I really love him:

" he made me laugh.
he helped me escape
the pain of my thoughts,
if only for a moment.
he made me laugh,
it's how he loved me. "

And that's what hurts me the most, the awareness I am damaged and undeserving - yet he's still here, unbelievably, asking for nothing in return. I still can't believe how lucky I am, and hope that would last forever.
It only remains for me to thank Rose Brik from the bottom of my heart. She wrote all the things I've never had the courage to say out loud to my parents, to my grandmother, to him. Truly my favorite collection of poems ever.

[Daisy King · Rating 5 out of 5]

Don’t think there will ever be a book closer to my heart than this.

[⋆.˚ Ariana ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི · Rating 4 out of 5]

Brik was the one who wrote the book, but I was the one who bled between the pages. There was so much that resonated with me. That cut deeper. I’m glad she’s found her happy place, in her partner and children. At least, it’s good to know there’s hope.

[Hany entre letras · Rating 3 out of 5]

as a woman, I have so much empathy for my mother, but as a daughter, I have so much anger

El poemario para las hijas mayores que sufren de mummy y daddy issues.

Conecté bastante con algunos poemas, sin embargo, está estructurado de una manera extraña para mí. Y también se siente que algunos poemas son notas genéricas que hacemos las sad girls en nuestros teléfonos.

Está dividido en 6 partes:
- roots of pain, va sobre su infancia y el trauma que le han dejado sus padres.
- dangerous love, explora sus primeros romances tóxicos.
- invisible wounds, habla sobre cómo es el proceso de sanar, cómo se le exigen más cosas a las víctimas que a los perpetradores.
- no more tomorrow, (creo) va sobre su luto al perder a su madre (por más horrible que haya sido la sra).
- the renewal, (creo) nos habla sobre su relación romántica sana.
- nurturing, es sobre su etapa de madre y sus hijos.

Me gustó que lo dividiera en partes y así tú puedes apreciar su crecimiento y que si hay luz después de la tormenta. Aunque eso también me hace sentir que el poemario no tiene un tono fijo. No sé, me gustó por momentos y por otros no tanto.

I am half of my father and half of my mother. The best and worst of them exist in me together.

[aylin · Rating 1 out of 5]

girl maybe if it was written better...😭

[Mariella Taylor · Rating 4 out of 5]

My Father's Eyes, My Mother's Rage was a collection that's going to sit with me for a while. It was on par with one of my other favorite collections this year, Mummy Eaters. This collection is told from the perspective of a young woman growing up in an emotionally abusive loveless home in which her father has left and her mother doesn't know how to manage her emotions/mental illness and properly care for her young daughter.

It continues to follow that same young woman throughout her life as she experiences romantic relationships and even the loss of her parents later in life and how the grief in her childhood shaped her mind, body, emotions, and outlook on life in various stages of her life and relationships and even how she views herself. It also speaks a lot to how our lives are changed through trauma bonds and the difficulty of forgiving people who are not sorry for the ways they've hurt us. There's a lot of interesting moral and psychological thought processes to deal with and I really loved that about this collection.

I do think that the opening section is probably the one that's closest to my heart because I really connected with the voice of the poet and her feelings after having experienced similar things in my childhood. I did love all the other sections too, but I did feel that some of them could have used some tighter line editing (which is why this collection was only 4 stars for me). A strong collection of poetry means each line, image, and word is specifically chosen to evoke particular memories and emotions, and while the first section of this book did AMAZINGLY with that, some of the others weren't quite as strong.

[Georgia Stickler · Rating 4 out of 5]

I would share my highlights but most are truly too personal 😭 These poems have felt so healing to me & I WILL be showing my therapist lolllll

[Lubat · Rating 4 out of 5]

Love and Death.

[Rachel]

Rose Brik literally sold her soul when she published this book because that is what this is- a collection of poems exposing her soul. As someone who writes poetry I have nothing but respect for this author. Even her style reminds me of my own. Thank you for sharing these intimate writings. It’s amazing how poetry can connect people, and it so comforting to feel understood.

[Myana ⊹♡ · Rating 5 out of 5]

This books opened a lot of trauma and feelings I thought I let go. But reading certain parts made me realize how much I need a hug. Beautifully written didn’t hide any deep detailers to help you feel and understand her pain. Loved everything about this book and more.

[Kelsey Peters · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 ⭐️ A lot of this perfectly encapsulates what it’s like growing up in a broken home, and the healing process that follows. It described the feeling of sadness and grief manifesting into anger so well. This really hit home for me ❤️

[౨ৎ lucy. · Rating 4 out of 5]

★ 4.5 | ❛ The little girl in the purple room doesn’t want to exist, so she locks herself inside the room, and hopes for it all to end. ❜