We Loved It All: A Memory of Life

by Lydia Millet

Named a Most Anticipated Book of 2024 by the Washington Post, Oprah Daily, and Literary Hub



This lucent anti-memoir from celebrated novelist Lydia Millet explores the pain and joy of being a parent, child, and human at a moment when the richness of the planet’s life is deeply threatened.


Across more than a dozen acclaimed works of fiction, readers have become intimate with Lydia Millet’s distinctive voice and sly wit. We Loved It All, her first nonfiction book, combines the precision of fact with the power of narrative to evoke our enmeshment with the more-than-human world.


Emerging from Millet’s quarter century of wildlife and climate advocacy, We Loved it All marries scenes from her life with moments of nearness to “the others”— the animals and plants with whom we share the earth. Accounts of fears and failures, jobs and friendships, childhood and motherhood are interspersed with exquisite accounts of nonhumans and arresting meditations on the power of story to shape the future.


Seeking to understand why we immerse ourselves in the domestic and immediate, turning away from more sweeping views, she examines how grand cultural myths can deny our longing for the company of nature and deprive us of its charisma and inspiration. In a thrilling distillation of experience and emotion, she evinces the familiar sense of feeling both well-meaning and powerless—a creature subject to forces that are baffling in their immensity. The fear and grief of extinction and climate change, Millet suggests, are forms of love that might be turned to resistance.


We Loved It All shimmers with curiosity and laconic humor yet addresses with reverence the most urgent crises of our day. An incantatory, bewitching devotional to the vast and precious bestiary of the earth, it asks that we extend to other living beings the protection they deserve—the simple grace of continued existence.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Nature, Essays, Science, Environment, Animals

255 pages, Kindle Edition

First published April 2, 2024

About the author

Lydia Millet has written twelve works of fiction. She has won awards from PEN Center USA and the American Academy of Arts and Letters, and her books have been longlisted for the National Book Award, shortlisted for the National Book Critics Circle Award and Los Angeles Times Book Prize, and named as New York Times Notable Books. Her story collection Love in Infant Monkeys was a Pulitzer Prize finalist. She lives outside Tucson, Arizona.

Reviews

[Krista · Rating 3 out of 5]

Maybe we haven’t spoken up for the others partly because of the unconscious, innate quality of our ties with them. Possibly we need the telescopic view — the distance of forgetting and the jolt of recognition as a remembrance surfaces — to know what we adore. Maybe we can only look back in longing, over time or space, when the object of our care is far away. And our old home is gone.

We Loved it All wasn’t quite as interesting as I had hoped it would be: part memoir, part lament for disappearing species, I found this to be a tad dense and esoteric. Author Lydia Millet does include interesting facts about her family (her father was an Egyptologist and his father a globe-trotting diplomat), herself (she used the advance from the sale of her first novel to go to grad school to study conservation), and Americans in general (“a 2021 Pew Research poll suggested half of US adults are unable to read a book at even an eighth-grade level”), and she includes interesting facts about the deadly pressures we’re putting on animals and ecosystems, but the writing wasn’t always clear to me: not clear at the paragraph level or in its overall intent (I think this is meant to prove that storytelling is an important part of activism?) I admire Millet for what I’ve learned about her here — in addition to being a celebrated novelist, she has spent decades as an advocate for endangered species at the Center for Biological Diversity in Tucson — and I can agree that she is uniquely poised to comment on the connection between storytelling and activism, but I found this to be a bit of a slog, despite being interested in the topic; other readers’ experience will no doubt vary. (Note: I read an ARC through NetGalley and passages quoted may not be in their final forms.)

My presence in both of these subcultures is liminal — I float around on the margins. Neither fish nor fowl. Not really an activist, due to my aversion to slogans and crowds and open conflict. But also not a constant participant in the establishments of publishing or writing. Since the social and economic hub of publishing is New York, where I’ve chosen not to live. And since most literary writers also work as professors at universities, which I’ve chosen not to do.

Despite some personal stories, this doesn’t really read like a memoir; and despite some interesting facts (for instance: in 2018, the US budget for protecting endangered species from extinction was less than one-fifth of what Americans personally spent on Halloween costumes for their pets), this doesn’t really read like a call to action. And since Millet frequently makes the point that a percentage of Americans embrace anti-intellectualism as an “expression of personal liberty” (resulting in 40% of Americans believing that the sun revolves around the Earth, less than half believe that humans evolved from earlier animals, 40% believe that humans “probably” or “certainly” existed at the same time as dinosaurs, etc.), this felt a bit like preaching to the choir: nothing in this book seems designed to capture hearts or change minds. I am totally open to being shown the way forward, but I failed to find a pathway here.

If regret is the ghost of the past, for me, extinction is the ghost of the future. Now my worry is less about leaving than of what will be left. I hate the feeling. And yet that turning outward of fear may be the only thing of true value that I’ve ever learned.

I didn’t get a chance to write a review immediately upon completion of this, and nearly a week later, it’s all wisping away from me; I know it won’t leave a permanent mark, but again, if another reader finds this perfectly engaging, I wouldn’t be surprised. This is like-not-love for me, so three stars.

[Kristen Johnson · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was all over the place. While I did enjoy the stories and facts, reading them felt like being trapped in a room with a class full of students all waiting to tell you a story that has nothing to do with the lesson.

[AndiReads · Rating 5 out of 5]

Huge Lydia Millet fan and couldn't wait to grab this up and peer into her thoughts.

A very personal series of essays, Millet intertwines her own story amongst that of conservationist. Her experience and training is vast, as she studied at the Center for Biological Diversity in Tucson, She actually utilized her first payments as an author to attend graduate school. In three connected chapters Millet shares much about her life, her family and her hopes and dreams. She writes as she is speaking directly to you, and I enjoyed that immensely! If you are interested in an incredibly gifted writer explaining nature in a beautiful manner this book is for you!
#wwnorton #weloveditall #lydiamillet

[Kathy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I could not put this book down and kept it at my bedside to read as a reward for finding an author who put into words what I feel. This is a bow to all living things, even the homely angler fish and the one celled little animals we tend to dismiss to the majestic elephants as well as our children.
Millet writes with a spiritual grace, honest humor with factoids sprinkled throughout the book. I have my radar on for books with woke messages but she does not preach and was empathetic feeling akin to nature well before wokeness started and the environmental movement began, er, except for that one incident with a tiny toad in childhood!

Highly recommend for the beauty of her writing and the message which is truly we did love it all.

[Camelia Rose · Rating 4 out of 5]

An environmentalist and novelist’s rumination on life, motherhood and the future of humanity. Yes it feels like rambling sometimes, but at the same time all very relevant. My mind rambles with her on the same frequency. Climate disasters, the greed that is us, the vanishing nature and the beloved wild animals and plants, the helpless feeling, the stubborn hope.

Quotes: “It happens to me, with increasing frequency these days, that writing takes the form of prayer, as in a dark booth, first comes the confection then an incantation. “There is a crack, a crack in everything,” says Leonard Cohen in Anthem, my favorite of the songs, “that’s how the lights get in.” What could be more honest than prayer? What's more heartfelt than begging?”

[Sherrie · Rating 2 out of 5]

***I won this book in a Goodreads Giveaway***

I'm not sure what the author was trying to do here. It's ostensibly a collection of essays, but there is no coherent theme and even within a single essay the author jumps from topic to topic in a way that I found disjointed and hard to follow.

Topics included her family, animal and plant factoids, environmental economics, and our place in the universe. These are all topics I enjoy, but I struggled to focus on this book as there was no flow to the narrative.

Ultimately, a disappointment.

[Kim McGee · Rating 4 out of 5]

A beautifully crafted love letter to nature by way of Lydia Millet's personal experiences in the natural world. Millet dissects our fascination and deep rooted relationship with animals from childhood picture books using animals with human characteristics to teach to adults shaping the animal world for our own benefit for food, companionship or test case. She has a gentle yet firm way of pointing out our many faults with near perfect precision making the reader feel simultaneously both guilty and fascinated by human behavior. As humans we have systematically eliminated so many species and continue to ruin our own chances for survival while revering nature and animal life. Joyous and a warning to perhaps cherish more of what we have before it is gone this will appeal to fans of her fiction as well as memoir/ nature essayists like H IS FOR HAWK. My thanks to the publisher for the advance copy.

[Joy D · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lydia Millet’s latest book is not your typical memoir. It focuses on her (and our) place in the world, and what it is like to live at this specific point in time. It includes a great deal of information about areas she has researched for her earlier books, such as environmental issues, humanity’s relationship to wildlife, and the use (and abuse) of natural resources. Millet also covers more personal topics such as her family, childhood in Canada, summers spent on her grandparents’ peach farm in Georgia, and other anecdotes from her life. It is a beautifully written pastiche of science, history, storytelling, politics, religion, economics, philosophy, and living in our damaged world. This is Millet’s first foray into non-fiction. It asks the question: Do we really want to keep going where we’re headed – to a place where future generations can only listen to stories from the “old folks” about the past beauty of our natural world they can never experience first-hand? I found it thought provoking and worthwhile

“It’s the young, these days, who ask us for mercy and wait for us to answer. Ask that we act in their names instead of our own. Ask that we tell ourselves a better story than the one about winning and losing, about conquering and subsuming. A story that embraces the past along with the future, the powerless and speechless along with the loud and the blustering. Even a story, say, that invites us not to want to be better than. But to want to be good.”

[Jaime · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really loved all the human and personal bits. The rest was really not for me — animals suffering, grim future, etc.

MIllet admits that people (like her daughter) cannot handle the animal cruelty stuff and that her grim outlook was terrible advice for a friend. Not for sensitive people, but if you can handle those topics, this could work for you.

I loved Dinosaurs and will definitely read more fiction or nonfiction of hers, but will check the subject more carefully. I should have DNFed early, but the first chapter was an immediate 5 stars, so I kept going longer than was tolerable.

Side note, I usually prefer non-fiction to be narrated by the author but I thought the audio narrator did a great job!

[Edie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this book with my whole heart, mind, and soul. Essays about everything and nothing. Closest comparison might be John Green's The Anthropocene Reviewed? Maybe?

[Cicero · Rating 5 out of 5]

Initially, one might think Millet wanders in her topic but upon reading closely it becomes obvious it all links. While this is a memoir, it also drops in sections of scientific musings that links to a memory, a recounting of some action or family event. I was astounded by what I learned in this book. Due to the information and statements provided by Millet, I could not read it in one sitting as it became a come and go read. I found I wanted to muse over the innumerable one or two liners before reading on. If you enjoy books that are simplistically linear in outline, this may not be the book for you.

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am calling this an essay though it is hard to categorize and contained a bit of everything. A reminder to see the magic in the world, treat others (including other species) with respect, and protect all the wonder around us. Not preachy, not manic, just a wide range of notes about all the grandeur of our home.

[Erin · Rating 4 out of 5]

It is decided, a new favorite author.

[Robert · Rating 5 out of 5]

Maybe because we are close in age and life experiences and shared values, I felt every word of this book ring true. It's hardly a biography, but a meditation on life: human, animal, and plant. And a desperate, maybe hopeful, plea to realize its preciousness and precariousness so that our children can live in a world with a future for living creatures.

[Dean L · Rating 5 out of 5]

I could have listened to this forever. The perfect blend of sad and happy. Like a warm blanket of nostalgia.

[Andrea McDowell · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm not entirely sure what this book is. I think it's something like a eulogy, and something like a memoir. In it, Millet writes beautifully about the abundance of the world that was, and her fears of a future filled with growing silence and loneliness for the human species.

I've long loved her novels and appreciated the way she handles climate in her stories, and I admire too her day job in a conservation non-profit instead of the usual literary writer's gig in academia.

It is beautiful and worth reading.

[Martha · Rating 3 out of 5]

I finished this sort of memoir and asked myself what I had just read. Not a whole, but an assortment of parts that relate, not as separate essays, but as threads in a complex life map that weave throughout. How do we live in this world with other animals? Extinctions, now and in millions of years past, the adaptability of some organisms, humans and religion and religious thought, so much between these pages, some rambling, some in clear detail. Not sure where the author thought she was going when she started out, but her knowledge of the biodiversity of the planet and her awe for it and our world are a poignant theme.

[kait of LitWit]

To be totally honest, I couldn’t finish this. The writing was interesting (if a tad .. meandering? Indulgent? Hm) but my journey through the first 20% was like a scroll through Bluesky for me - important things I agree with and am interested in but also depressing as hell and I have to limit my exposure. It felt like a slog every time I went back to continue reading; this day and age I need reading to be my escape from the world not a mirror of it 🙃 so I’m letting it go back to the library unfinished and unlamented but maybe some day it’ll cross my path again

[Chris Brook · Rating 3 out of 5]

Finally finished this last night. Millet has certainly lived a life, so much history to draw upon, interspersed with some interesting climate/ecological tidbits. Wouldn't say this is the most uplifting read and it was a little disconnected at times, shifting on a dime from one topic to the next but enjoyed it.

[Laura · Rating 1 out of 5]

Lydia Millet is a talented writer - one of my favorites.
And while the third of this book I read is easily readable and enjoyable, I have zero idea where she’s going with it.
For her fiction I will meander through hundreds of pages to get to the heart of it.
But I’m not feeling it for this one.
I’m out.

[Chloe · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars, rounded up. I loved this. Lydia Millet writes in a fleeting, disconnected style that serves this untraditional memoir (more like manifesto) well. I found her inspiring and moving, and not at all shrill, as one is wont to be about desperate topics like mass extinction and climate change. Really lovely and unique writing that made me see the world a little more vividly.

[Patty Sampson-Bouchard · Rating 3 out of 5]

Glad to read this but found it to jump around too much- some good takeaways but felt like the author was sharing streams of consciousness that would have been more enjoyable and impactful with some more order to her various thoughts.

[emily gielshire · Rating 5 out of 5]

Treasured this!!!! Really want to get my hands on a physical copy to highlight/annotate so many sentences about how we disregard what doesn’t speak our language or what we don’t see as a potential source of profit. Will be reading more Lydia Millet!

[Molly Ryan]

Book club book 4. liked the themes and parts of the beginning and it had so much potential… but it was too scattered and repetitive, dropping fun facts every other paragraph but never connecting any dots. And every paragraph ended the same way. A punchy fragment.

I really tried with this one but dnf. I don’t think this is a book that is meant to be read in one go.

[Zoe Peritz · Rating 4 out of 5]

All the critical reviews of this complained that she just rambles on aimlessly and lists random facts...and what about it??? If you're as smart and as good of a writer as Lydia Millet you're allowed to do that because it's still interesting. Four (or 4.5) stars only bc some parts were a little slow but overall so good. (Annapurna and Anneke if you see this you would love this book)

[Nikki Rossiter · Rating 2 out of 5]

we flit from topic to topic, and i’m uncertain if it was worth all that much to me. i think i would have enjoyed reading this in the throes of covid, but what she’s saying here has been repeated ad infinitum. i am glad she got this book off of her chest. but i would love it if she stopped ending her miniature essays with sentences like these.
sentences that were already implied by the rest of the text.

[Grace · Rating 1 out of 5]

rambling manifesto

[Christina · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love Lydia Millet and this was a type of book I like: memoir mixed with research/science/whatever. Sometimes she kind of lost me, both because it meanders and she’s smarter than I am, but I enjoyed it anyway. Humans kind of suck! Take care of the earth and other creatures!

[Kaden Peot]

I was really bored and didn’t finish

[Jessi - TheRoughCutEdge · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pub Day: April 2, 2024

“I dreamed of a world where one day my child will turn to me and ask, oh Mother, what was war?”

I thought Millet’s novel A Children’s Bible was powerful, terrifying, and incredibly well-written so when I saw this audio pop up on Netgalley I knew I had to request it.

Besides the obvious difference between a dystopia and a non fiction this book was again terrifyingly powerful and extremely well-written. Composed with a lyrical prose, this novel evoked vivid images and haunting feelings about all the other creatures that coexist in this world with us. It felt as if Lydia was speaking directly to me as I listened and it was quite the experience.

The narration by Xe Sands was fantastic. Thank you Dreamscape Media for the alc via Netgalley.