Bone to Pick: Of Forgiveness, Reconciliation, Reparation, and Revenge

by Ellis Cose

In a world riven by conflict, reconciliation is not always possible -- but it offers one of the few paths to peace for a troubled nation or a troubled soul. In Bone to Pick, bestselling author and Newsweek editor Ellis Cose offers a provocative and wide-ranging discussion of the power of reconciliation, the efficacy of revenge, and the possibility of forgiveness. People increasingly are searching for ways to put the demons of the past to rest. That search has led parents to seek out the murderers of their children and torture victims to confront their former tormentors. In a narrative drawing on the personal and dramatic stories of people from Texas to East Timor, Cose explores the limits and the promise of those encounters. Bone to Pick is not only the story of victims who have found peace through confronting the source of their pain; it is also a profound meditation on how the past shapes the present, and how history's wounds, left unattended, can fester for generations. Time does not heal all, Cose points out. Memories and anger can linger long beyond a human lifespan. The descendants of Holocaust survivors and African slaves alike feel the effects of their forebears' pain -- and in some cases are still demanding restitution. What is behind the movement for reparations? Why are truth-and-reconciliation commissions sprouting all over the world? Why are old wars being refought and old wounds being reopened? In Bone to Pick, Ellis Cose provides a moving and nuanced guide to such questions as he points the way toward a more harmonious world.

232 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2004

About the author

Ellis Cose is a former columnist for Newsweek, chairman of the editorial board of the New York Daily News, contributor and critic for Time, and columnist for USA Today. The author of numerous books, including the bestselling The Rage of a Privileged Class, he lives in New York City.

Reviews

[Aaron Oda · Rating 4 out of 5]

A interesting read of personal narratives and theory around victim-offender encounters and the cycles we go through from victimhood to reconciliation. Asks important questions on how a truth and reconciliation process would like for our country scarred by the historical wounds of slavery and racism.

[Criley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Enlightening

Provocatively examines the components of the topic causing the reader to abandon preconceived notions, reexamine them and, quite possibly, have them shifted.

[Erin Oeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

My brother teaches in peace studies & conflict transformation, and he recommended this text as one pivotal to his field. I read it because, as a Christian, I am called to forgive - and I struggle at time to know what that looks like. I've read other Christian authors on the topic and have found some of them lacking - either glossing over the hurt & anguish, or creating a surface-level forgiveness that falls short of the transformational power of the gospel. This book is by far the best book on forgiveness I have read. It is a tough read - going in depth into atrocities of genocide and the holocaust, as well as personal tragedies and horrific loss. There is no glossing over here. And yet, the author offers compelling examples and powerful transformative instances of forgiveness in the midst of those circumstances. He doesn't claim that it's always possible, and he concedes that it is not easy. And yet, he makes a compelling case for freeing ourselves from the cage of bitterness & rage. He makes a case for public acknowledgement & reparations of national evils that allow society to move beyond the past and write a better future. There is something about choosing to forgive, on a personal & national level, that brings freedom and hope for a better future and a better world. Cose helps paint that picture and shows us some tangible steps to get there. Phenomenal read.

[Sandra · Rating 4 out of 5]

Meaty, thoughtful, thought-provoking discussion of "forgiveness, reconciliation, reparation, and revenge". I was challenged on so many levels, yet Cose's non-violent, compassionate approach encouraged self examination. His discussion of cultural approaches and implications opened whole new perspectives for me. Very open-ended, inviting style.