From Wild Man to Wise Man: Reflections on Male Spirituality

by Richard Rohr, Belden C. Lane (foreword)

Rohr's classic best-seller The Wild Man's Journey is now available in a newly revised and expanded edition. "Every man who seriously desires to appreciate masculinity and to face reality, his own soul, his place in the Gospel and in society, as well as his need for conversion and growth will be challenged by this book."Mennonite

Genres: Spirituality, Nonfiction, Religion, Christian, Christianity, Self Help, Psychology

248 pages, Paperback

Published February 6, 2024

About the author

Fr. Richard Rohr is a globally recognized ecumenical teacher bearing witness to the universal awakening within Christian mysticism and the Perennial Tradition. He is a Franciscan priest of the New Mexico Province and founder of the Center for Action and Contemplation (CAC) in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Fr. Richard's teaching is grounded in the Franciscan alternative orthodoxy—practices of contemplation and expressing itself in radical compassion, particularly for the socially marginalized.

Fr. Richard is author of numerous books, including Everything Belongs, Adam’s Return, The Naked Now, Breathing Under Water, Falling Upward, Immortal Diamond, Eager to Love, and The Divine Dance: The Trinity and Your Transformation (with Mike Morrell).

Fr. Richard is academic Dean of the Living School for Action and Contemplation. Drawing upon Christianity's place within the Perennial Tradition, the mission of the Living School is to produce compassionate and powerfully learned individuals who will work for positive change in the world based on awareness of our common union with God and all beings. Visit cac.org for more information.

Reviews

[Jordan Tomeš · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rohra obecně považuji za povinnou četbu pro každého věřícího muže. Je to jeden z největších autorů současnosti - přinejmenším v oblasti spirituality a úvah vedoucích k sebe poznání. Díky za něj!

[John · Rating 4 out of 5]

In the search to read more books about "masculinity" and "becoming a man", I picked up this title from one of my favorite authors. It is thought-provoking, shaping, and intelligent and articulate.
It still lacks a sense of structure, which is understandable considering it is from Rohr and also the way it was written. But its content is something I will chew on for many months and probably come back to throughout the rest of life.

It is good to have a book such as this in the Christian circle, because of how many crappy books about Manhood there are that basically deny relevant issues on masculinity, femininity, and gender in contemporary society.

It also isn't pseudo-psycho babble from these contemporary authors that write about archetypes in a completely off base and ridiculous way like Jordan Peterson. Anyway, read up.

[Ken · Rating 3 out of 5]

Generally I liked it. Neat chart towards the end :) Certain parts were a little too new age-y for me but the general concepts are good in a sense that they challenged my established notions of what it means to be a man. It's useful in that it has added another set of lenses to view the journey of life with. What i wished he had done was to create a more cohesive argument, rather than just bunch together a collections of essays which were loosely connected to each other.

[Erin Henry · Rating 5 out of 5]

I mean it's for men but contains a lot of wisdom. I hope a lot of men read and apply it.

[Jeremy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Notes:

+ Levels of consciousness
1. Simple
2. Complex
“In complex consciousness we know too much to go back to the wonder and peace of the childhood garden, symbolized by the cherubim with flaming swords that guard the return to the tree of life… Most western people are trapped in complex consciousness and keep returning to the same wells for water: the wells of reason, order, control and power.”
3. Enlightened
“[Enlightenment] is a second and chosen naïveté, without forgetting all the contradictions and complexity in between. It is more surrendering than concluding, more trusting than fixing and all gratuitous grace, for which you can only give thanks.”
“The sayings of wise and wild men look harmless and irrelevant to those trapped in the complex middle. True wisdom looks amazingly like naïve, silly and even dangerous simplicity.”

+ Major male archetypes
1. King
2. Warrior
3. Magician
4. Lover



Quotes:

“Stillness is what creates love. Movement is what creates life. To be still, yet still moving - that is everything!” Do Hyun Choe

Perfect freedom is the very nature of true love. Without freedom there is no love—only duty, fear and obligation. God does not love us because God has to. God loves us because God wants to. God does not love us because we are good. God loves us because God is good. Why can’t we surrender to that? Because it initially feels like a loss of power and importance!

If God’s people are, in fact, nice, it is because they are first of all wildly free to break the rules of tit for tat and quid pro quo, and love as God loves.

In my experience there is an almost complete correlation between the degree of emphasis one puts on obligations, moralities, ritual performance and one’s lack of any real inner experience. Once you know for yourself, you will be plenty “moral,” in fact, even more so, but it all proceeds from a free response, from the Trinitarian flow passing through you. It is a response, not a requirement, an effect of having known love, not a precondition for getting love. God is always the initiator, always good, always available, and the flow is always free. Yes, sin is real and common, but it merely means to stop, resist or deny this omnipresent flow of God’s love.

The liberating gospel of Jesus is that salvation is found not in domination but in partnership, not in power-wielding but in power-sharing. The poor are not saved by robbing the rich. The weak are not saved by conquering the strong. The oppressed are not saved by making the masters their slaves. Turning the tables simply perpetuates the sinful human situation that Jesus was engaged in redeeming.

There are two ways of being a prophet. One is to tell the enslaved that they can be free. It is the difficult path of Moses. The second is to tell those who think they are free that they are in fact enslaved. This is the even more difficult path of Jesus.

It is the struggle with darkness and grief that educates the male soul.

“If you have once faced the great death, the second death can do you no harm.” Saint Francis

As the cocoon of the false self (“sin”) is gradually let go, the true self stands revealed. The true self knows who it is, what it must do and, most excitingly, has the energy to do it—no matter what the price. This is the task itself, the sense of vocation, the sense of goal, purpose and challenge that guides every hero’s life. Quite simply, a hero is one who gives his life to something bigger than himself.

Far too often our concern seems to be developing our retirement account, self-serving politics and developing our personal image. No civilization has ever survived unless the elders saw it their duty to pass on gifts of Spirit to the young ones. Is it that we are selfish, or is it that we ourselves have never found the gift ourselves? I suspect it is largely the latter.

The hero is formed and created by his times and his struggles and, most of all, by his enemies. He never creates himself. He is created and almost in spite of himself. He has tragic flaws but learns to use them—or let God use them.

“In essentials unity, in nonessentials liberty, and in all things charity.” Pope John XXIII

We prefer tit-for-tat morality, passing on the problem, instead of taking away the problem.

Mother love roots us in our souls, ourselves and our bodies; father love allows us to do something good with all those wonderful roots. It teaches us to fly.

Father energy is some sort of creative energy that can make things be when they are not, and without which things cannot come to be. When male energy is absent, creation does not happen, either in the human soul or in the world. Nurturance happens, support and love happen, which is the wonderful feminine gift, but not that new “creation out of nothing” that is the unique prerogative associated with the masculine side of God.

If men are not led through the stages and experiences of grief, which will always feel like dying, they end up suffering even more through the neurotic pains of aimless depression, desperation, various forms of addiction and even suicidal temptations.

Do not get rid of your hurts until you have learned all that they have to teach you.

Much of early men’s work is teaching men how to trust their time in the belly of the whale, how to stay there without needing to fix, to control or even to fully understand it, and to wait until God spits you up on a new shore. It is called “liminal space,” and I believe all in-depth transformation takes place inside of liminal space. To hope too quickly is to hope for the wrong thing. The belly of the whale is the great teaching space, and thus it is no surprise that Jesus said that “the sign of Jonah was the only sign he was going to give” (Luke 11:30).

The best way to be a hateful person and not to feel an ounce of guilt about it is to be hateful for God.

Jesus forms a healthy community of men as a living alternative to the dysfunctional ways that men usually organize themselves. The church was supposed to be that alternative society, it was intended to be God’s “new world order.” But if you cannot find that Jesus energy in your church or parish, gather with a group of honest brothers who can protect you from and affirm you in something other than passivity (the withered hand) and negativity (scribes and Pharisees). You cannot do it alone.

This alienation between sons and fathers is a major reason why many men become either powerless or power-wielding, instead of calmly holding their power like Jesus.

How you do anything is finally how you do everything. How you do relationship is how you do relationship—with your job, your family, animals, nature, the present moment and God.

When they hate or fear, you love back. That contains it and transforms the person over time. That is what God does in a consummate form and is actually what we mean by Jesus “taking away the sin of the world.” He absorbs our evil, does not return it, and gradually we let go of it. He steals it from us; he takes away our sin! Good friends and true elders do the same on a much smaller scale.

The young boy represents a love that comes about through being wounded, and the old man represents love that is willing to wound. We just call it tough love today, but men know they need it, they do respect it, even though very few seniors have the authority to know how to do it well, and very few juniors have the trust to know how to take it well… A healthy and earnest young man is willing to let himself be wounded because he trusts the old man’s love for him, and he believes in the goal.

Maleness is indeed about power, but power for good, power for others, power for life and creativity.

For a mature man in the second half of life, heroism is no longer the goal or concern. Now the goal is something that we can no longer manufacture, control or even possess as our own: holiness. Holiness is given and received; it is utterly but quietly transforming.

“You may be 38 years old, as I happen to be. And one day, some great opportunity stands before you and calls you to stand up for some great principle, some great issue, some great cause. And you refuse to do it because you are afraid… You refuse to do it because you want to live longer… You’re afraid that you will lose your job, or you are afraid that you will be criticized or that you will lose your popularity, or you’re afraid that somebody will stab you, or shoot at you or bomb your house; so you refuse to take the stand. Well you may go on and live until you are 90, but you’re just as dead at 38 as you would be at 90. And the cessation of breathing in your life is but the belated announcement of an earlier death of the spirit.” Martin Luther King, Jr.

Judgmentalism and righteousness is not so much seeking truth as it is seeking control.

The joyful acceptance of a limited world, of which I am only a small moment and limited part—this is probably the clearest indication of a man in his fullness. What he once fought for—perfect freedom—he now finds even in the imperfect events and institutions of this world.

[Gary Conachan III · Rating 4 out of 5]

Growing up in “Wild at Heart” culture, I was uncertain as to where Rohr was going to go with the notion of masculinity, or male spirituality. Yet his approach is wise and carefully thought out. He addresses the male journey with its challenges and woes, and distinguishes what it looks like for a man to become a wise man. His is a gentleness and honesty that is often neglected in male tropes and stereotypes - and for reasons he unpacks. I’d recommend the read for anyone wanting a less stereotypical approach to gender and male spirituality. Though it isn’t the most inclusive writing, especially for the LGBTQ community, it’s a good read and offers many good insights to reflect on and respond to.

[Mark · Rating 1 out of 5]

There are some general insights into the spiritual life that I found helpful, but in terms of male spirituality this book is a failure. There is a contradiction at the heart of this book that Rohr never faces. On the one hand, he insists that biology is destiny, that father love is qualitatively different to mother love, that maleness is about power and creative energy. On the other he says that spiritual maturity comes through an integration of male and female qualities resulting in a spiritual androgyny. Are men irreducibly male? Or are they called to androgyny? His appeal to biology is also not biological enough. He speaks of men's genitals as teaching about the combining of hardness and softness, strength and vulnerability. But don't women's bodies combine these qualities? What about the fact that penises begin as clitorises? And he speaks of masculinity as generative, creative power, but this draws on an ancient and false view of women as mere recepticals for male seed. The sperm isn't creative without the egg! As a queer man I found this book had nothing to say to me. Nor does this book have anything to say to boys outside of heteronormative families, with Rohr's insistence that children need a mother and father. This book was republished in 2022, yet uses words like "homosexual" and praises Jean Vanier who was revealed to be a sexual predator in 2020.

[Randall Green · Rating 5 out of 5]

We live in a culture that is essentially broken. In American this is true in our corporations, use of technology, healthcare, and especially so in our politics. Right now two male candidates roughly 80 years old are running for office and on either side we are being told we have to vote for our political party’s candidate to stop the other side from winning. One candidate is a compulsive liar, would be authoritarian, and malignant narcissist. The other a career politician who is now trying to be seen as the champion to solve many of the problems the he once signed into law himself (the crime bill and the bill that made student loans inescapable through bankruptcy to name a couple.) There’s a missing inner authority to both of them. How can there not be better candidates rise, and how have we gotten here where such weak and perverted masculinity is the only option?

These questions won’t be answered in “From Wild Man to Wise Man” but they will certainly help guide a new generation from continuing on the same path.

[Bruce · Rating 2 out of 5]

The book contains a lot of sound spiritual advise from Rohr. I understand powerlessness, the leaning that comes from failure, the need to not let my ego try to run my life by itself. I continue to work on a realistic sense of self-worth and the need for improvement without fretting about never reaching perfection.

But I’m afraid that I still don’t see why male spirituality is different from anyone else’s spirituality. I just don’t get “Iron John,” “Father Hunger,” and the “King, Warrior, Magician, and Lover soul images.” They have no relevance to my life or anything to which I can relate. I realize that for some men they may strike a chord, but for me they are just frivolous mumbo jumbo.

The kindle edition lacks several diagrams.

[Linda · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was more attracted to the author than to the title; however, I found that this book is good not only for men but for us women who are their family and friends. It's a thoughtful read, but very worthwhile. I love this author.

[Nick D · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not much depth, but that allows for more contemplation of what is there to find deeper meeting. Highly quotable and a good starting place for further reading.

Some quotes that stood out:

The Wild Man

"In my experience there is an almost complete correlation between the degree of empahsis one puts on obligations, moralitites, ritual performance and one's lack of any real inner experience."

"When Odysseus went on his long journey, he put Mentor in charge of his son, Telemachus, as his teacher and the guardian of his soul. This illustrates that one's biological father is seldom the initiator of the son. It is always another special man who must guide the boy into manhood, from wildness to wisdom. (Perhaps much of our problem today is that we have so few "godfathers" and that we expect from our biological fathers far too much!)"

"Many bosses, ministers, coaches, and teachers tell a young man how to get out of his problems and to be "normal" again. A true mentor or initiator guides a young man into his problems and through them, which will always feel a bit muddy and messy, but also wet and wild and wise."

Is There Such a Thing as Masculine Spirituality?

"A masculine spirituality would be one that encourages men to take the radical gospel journey from their own unique beginning point, in their own unique style, with their own unique goals - which is what we end up doing anyway, but now with no doubt or apology or need to imitate our sisters or even our fathers, for that matter. That takes immense courage and self-possession. Such a man has life for others and knows it. He does not need to push, intimidate or play the power games common to other men because he possesses his power with surety and calm self-confidence. He is not opinionated or arrogant, but he knows. He is not needy of status symbols because he draws his identity from God and from within. He does not monogrammed briefcases and underwear; his identity is settled and secure. He possesses his soul and does not give it lightly to corporations, armies, nation-states or the acceptable collective thinking."

"The vast majority of people in western civilization suffer from what I will identify in this book as the "father wound.' Those who have this father wound have never been touched by their human father. Either he had no time, no freedom or no need, but the result is children who have no masculine energy. They will lack self-confidence and the ability to do, to carry through, to trust themselves–because they were never trusted by him."

"If there is one very good reason for God to reveal himself as the Father of Jesus, it is because that is where most people are wounded–unfeeling, unbelieving and unwhole. With Philip the Apostle, we all join in, "Master, show us the Father, and that will be enough for us" (John 14:8)."

Today, too many of God's sons are without dignity, self-confidence or true power. They have little inner authority, and predictably over-rely upon outer authority. They look like the oppressors, but have no doubt they are really the oppressed."

Male and Female God Created Them

"Women can often compensate for the role in which they have been cast by finding power in indirect ways, such as subtly learning to manipulate and cajole for their needs. It made them much more creative in the ways of power. In other words, they learned the dance between power and powerlessness in way that men never did."

"The liberating gospel of Jesus is that salvation is found not in domination but in partnership, not in power-wielding but in power-sharing. The poor are not saved by robbing the rich. The weak are not saved by conquering the strong. The oppressed are not saved by making the masters their slaves. Turning the tables simply perpetuates the sinful human situation that Jesus was engaged in redeeming."

The Addictive System

"...the overwhelming majority of men in our society are addicted to ways of thinking, feeling and acting that systematically entrap them without their realizing it, much the same way that alcohol, nicotine, or other drug addictions subtly but securely ensnare their victims."

"What is truly blasphemous is the replacement of God with the white male system and the way that the system arrogates the attributes of God to itself. Call it patriotism, call it national self-interest, call it company loyalty or call it faithfulness to your church; the demand for unquestioning allegiance and blind obedience is the same demand that a drug makes on an addict. If people are to develop any deep spirituality today, and especially if men are to develop spiritually, they need to be liberated from self-preserving worldviews."

Men's Liberation

"There are two ways of being a prophet. One is to tell the enslaved that they can be free. It is the difficult path of Moses. The second is to tell those who think they are free that they are in fact enslaved. This is the even more difficult path of Jesus."

"Our culture presents men with the illusion of making decisions, but it effectively castrates them from charting actual new directions beyond and outside the of the rat race. Men hardly ever have a chance to make decisions that make a real difference in their own lives or in the world around them, except in a minor diversionary way."

"A larger desk, a private office, a bigger house, a newer car, a more expensive vacation–such are the essentially empty rewards men receive for surrendering their freedom and draining their masculine energy in the service of business as usual."

"Part of our oppression as men, of course, is that we are taught to oppress others who have less status than we do. It creates a pecking order and a sense of superiority. We especially oppress racial minorities, homosexuals, the poor and women. Psychologically we have to do this in order to have some feeling of superiority in the absence of any real accomplishments. When we are prevented from making any real difference in the world, we create illusions of difference in order to have any self-esteem at all."

"Men's liberation is, therefore, even more difficult than women's liberation. Women know that they are oppressed and that in itself is the beginning of liberation. Women know the games men play, whereas we men do not even recognize the system as a set of games. Even when we do recognize it, we believe that's simply the way the world is, the way life has to be. But it is knt the way life has to be. There is a way out. You just stop believing it! Look elsewhere for your payoffs and energy. In biblical labguage it is salvation: being saved from the world and its false promises, being saved from ourselves–much more than being saved from "hell." Of course, you will never have the ability or courage to stop believing the illusion, until you have something more and better to take its place . That's where a truly loving God comes in. God gives the healthy soul an utterly new frame of reference outside this system."

"Here, in our culture, we have just enough middle-class comfort and limited freedom to avoid the question for an awfully long time–sometimes for all our lives. No wonder Jesus made what is called his most ignored statement, and what is certainly one of the most offesnsive and shocking: "It is harder for a rich man to know what I am talking about, than for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle" (see Matthew 19:24, Mark 10:25, Luke 18:25)"

Male Initiation

"In almost all cultures men are not born; they are made. Much more than for women, cultures ahve traditionally demanded initiation rites specifically for the boys. It is almost as if the biological experiences of menstruation and childbirth are enough wisdom lessons for women, but invariably men must be tried, limited, challenged, punished, hazed, circumcised, isolated, starved, stripped and goaded into maturity...The boy had to be separated from protective feminine energy, led into ritual space where newness and maleness could be experienced as holy; the boy had to be ritually wounded and tested, and there experience bonding with other men and loyalty to tribal values, and then have something to give back."

"It is the struggle with darkness and grief that educates the male soul."

"If we are willing to be led, and our ego can sustain some suffering, we are all led toward "salvation." The hero cannot really intend, choose or even fully decide for enlightenment. He does not know what it is yet! All he can do is be ready for it! All of life is really about readying, attuning, awakening. Note how many of Jesus' parables and teachings ar about being ready and awake. The easiest substitute , of course, is religion. It substitutes answers and too-easy certitude about past and future for simple present awareness. Strange as it seems, institutional religion commonly avoids true enlightenment. It feels too much like dying inits early stages, and most people are not well trained in dying. Initiation is always training in dying."

Seperation–Encounter–Return

"Sin is much more a state of concsiousness (or unconsciousness!) than it is individual immoral actions."

"When a man cannot do greatness in some real sense, his life has no universal significance or transcendent meaning."

Saint Paul as a Master Teacher

"He [Jesus] holds, carries, purifies and transforms evil, instead of passing it on, like most os us do."

"He [Paul] is already rejoicing and reveling in resurrection, because it is already alive in him."

Man the Money-Maker

"These [wealthy] men live lives largely outside the realm of real human relationships, the natural cycle of time and oatience, and without ever leaving their own comfort zone. This is a recipe for non-learning. No wonder so many men are emotionally stunted."

"In today's western culture men's energies are hardly directed toward the creation of life for others and the production of real things, or the things they can take pride in. Probably for many of us, the primary example of that is simply the quality of workmanship, the shoddy labor on so many of our products and services, the non-work ethic of many Americans who seem to want to be paid for doing nothing...Maybe even sadder is the willingness to give your whole life producing items of no social benefit, or even destructive, like slot machines, tawdry luxury goods or nuclear weapons. Is that what a man wants to do with his one single chance at life?"

"Money is an empty symbol precisely because it stands for anything and everything besides the paper or metal it is made of. It stands for me and my importance...This then is why directing one's life toward the making of money is so dangerous. It is a life commitment to making what is inherently meaningless and worthless, yet onto it we project all sorts of value and importance."

"Jesus makes a quite clear apodictic statement: "You cannot serve both God and money" (Matthew 6:24). Yet that has never been made a central moral teaching, or even a minor one, by either Catholicism or Protestantism."

""Coveting our neighbor's goods" is now called shopping, advertising and contributing to the gross national product"

Father Hunger

"It seems that we cannot be ourselves, we cannot be our own man, or our own fatherm until we have been someone else's little boy. We need him to like us, to bless us even after our mistakes, to enjoy our company, to tell us that we can succeed."

The Father Wound

"No man can be everything, even to his own son, who has to build his own manhood by incorporating parts of many role models into his adult self. But no smart son will discard the example that his father gave him if what he received was an honest, loving experience of his father and a healthy sense of himself as a man. A son needs to believe that his father respects and even admires him. I always say that men are very simple creatures. All mos men require is respect!"

"That honoring of the man in the boy is what invites the boy to join the club of men."

Grief Work

Much of early men's work is teaching men how to trust their time in the belly of the whale, how to stay there without needing to fix, to control or even to fully understand it, and to wait until God spits you up o na new shore. It is called "liminal space," and I believe all in-depth transformation takes place inside of liminal space. To hope too quickly is to hope for the wrong thing."

Three Kinds of Men

"Most men do not know how to motivate themselves. If they have any motivation at all, it is for some form of immediate money, sex, or power. Nothing more. They have no internal motivation, and without the external motivations of money, sex, and power they do not know how to choose or make decisions about what they want to do with their lives.
Another way to say this is that most men have no interior juice and joy. They need something outside (like law or fear) to kick them, to get them going, to offer them security, to promot them, or reward them, to make them momentarily "happy." Spirituality is a matter of having a source of energy within which is a motivating and directing force for living."

I and the Father are One

"To complicate the problem of the absent father, children often learn to perceive their father largely through their mother's eyes, instead of any immediate contact. Without thinking it, she tells her children what their father is like through the remarks she makes about him when he is not around. Children grow up believeing that their father is lazy ("He never does anything around the house."), incompetent ("We'll have to call the repairman."), stupid (He'll never know."), unsuccessful ("He doesn't make enough money."), uncaring ("He doesn't have the time.") and so on. When he is actually around, they only see the man their mother has described to them, and they never get his immediate energy or life."

"American Christianity is much more about belonging and consoling than doing, risking and confronting."

The Wild Men of India

Our western ideal of old age and retirement is rather individualistic and even hedonistic, although many do go beyond it through service and volunteer work, groups like Elder Hostel, and spiritual retreats and study. But many move away from kids, parents and the community that gave them a living for so many years to some idealized "sun city." You've run in the rat race for so long, maybe you did not really enjoy it, and now at last you have a chance to stretch out, relax and do absolutely nothing. Alternatively, you may see it as a chance to develop your golf swing, to get into that hobby you always wanted, or to fix up the basement now that you have the time to do it yourself. All of these activities are very important, no doubt, but only frmo one perspective. Nothing in those activities accounts for personal or intellectual growth, concern for others, passing on wisdom or a deeper seeking of God and truth."

"Smoetimes I wonder if what Jesus meant by a "disciple" (a teachable one) was simply an adult! One who had gone through the stages of growing up, letting go, handing over and learning to live out his or her true self. If you can once in a while get rid of all the pious connotations, you can see that an adult believer is merely one who has stopped hating, blaming, passing on death and negativity. They have become transmitter stations of life. They let everything teach them, even in old age. That is a disciple of Jesus"

"If you can be present to love and life now, you are ready for for heaven. If you do not know how to be present, how would you possibly be ready for the Real Presence? If you cannot see the good, the true and the beautiful now, how would you know how to enjoy the "Beatific Vision?" If you cannot allow the beatific embrace of God now, why would you tomorrow when you die? What you are now, what you choose now, what you say yes to now, is what you will be forever.
In my opinion, any culture or religion that teaches you how to live now with attention and caring is preparing you for ternity. Any religion that teaches you to avoid, fear or deny is preparing you for hell, a hell that has already begun."

Confronts and Retreats

"It [the retreat] is often informational or a little cosmetic surgery, but seldom transformational–not back to their true self in God, not back to "the face they had before they were born."...those who never stretch between retreats never stretch during retreats."

"I think a better rule would be that for every retreat in your life there should also be at leat one "confront." There should be something you've come up against, something you've wrestled with, somthing you've tried to do in the world. If you've confronted some hardness in society, some evil in the world, some intransigence in the church, then you have a reason to retreat and gather your inner strength. A lot of spiritual energy is stored in several unique places: loneliness, silence and fear. You can find that enerfy by going there and staying there."

"I would say if you only think about Jesus, "believe" Jesus, and believe things about Jesus, not much new is going to happen. It is the risk of "acting" like Jesus that reconfigures your soul...we do not think ourselves into new ways of living, we live ourselves into new ways of thinking. To know and not to act is not to know. Reality and circumstances, unavoidable circumstances, are normally what convert us."

"We do not convery ourselves. We are all converted–by the push and tug of the real–and usually in spite of ourselves, God does it. We allow it."

Male Sexuality and the Love of God

"when his [Jesus's] opponents get upset with him for claiming that he is a son of God, and he says back to them, "Is it not written in your own law: 'you too are gods'...and Scripture cannot be rejected" (John 10:34-35). That is the consistent, scary language of mystical religion, in other words, religion based on inner experience and "knowing" for yourself, and not just religion based on "believing" what other people tell you to, or even worse, believing things that are hard to believe (as if that would somehow please God!). We need men who know, know for themselves, and mostly who know what they are. We need mystical religion and not just requirement religion."

God as Paradox: Powerful Powerlessness

After reflecting on this wonderful painting for many years now, I honestly wonder how comfortable Christianity is with its Christ...We are clearly much more concerned with worshipping him than following him, which is all he asked us to do."

[James Klagge · Rating 2 out of 5]

I've read a few books by Rohr, and I'm a fan. But this book was a disappointment. It was published in 2024, but apparently it originated in 1990. I was a fan of the men's spirituality movement that started with Robert Bly's Iron John: A Book About Men in 1990. It was goofy in some ways, but it started me thinking about things that I hadn't before. There were a lot of problems, but they could be forgiven because it was a new perspective. Rohr's book dates from those early days, apparently, and has supposedly been updated a few times over the years. But it is basically the same old story. Now, 35 years later, I'm not still ready to forgive.
The main problem is endless generalities and stereotypes. It begins with stereotypes about how men are and how women are. But then, since those are so obviously overblown, it becomes--well, we all have both the male and the female types within us, just in different proportions. But then why are we still identifying them as male and female? But we quickly move back to what men are like--but there are no actual empirical studies, just generalizations that fit the author's ideas. And there are claims about correlations between upbringings and characteristics with no evidence. And when there are obvious exceptions, it turns out that upbringings can sometimes have the OPPOSITE effect--so, saving the claim.
I would have given this one star, but Rohr does have some interesting things to say. I just wish he'd leave out the pseudo-psychology and stick with the theology.

[Circle of Hope Pastors · Rating 4 out of 5]

Richard Rohr's update of "The Wild Man's Journey (which is also on this list) is better. It would be useful for men's group meetings (and was designed to be so).

It's weaknesses: It's Catholic, so some references might be lost on some people. It is often too much about Richard. It can seem kind of obscure in places (talking about Duns Scotus! why?). It might seem too full of new agey type stuff and psychology for some.

It's strengths: It talks about the journey: stages of development for men. It respects men but not at the expense of women, balances the masculine with the feminine. It offers biblical and mythical examples, which are evocative. It brings up all the things men need to talk about and don't. It is honest about the reality that women, in the West, have done a lot of work to achieve a sense of what being a woman means; they have a lively discourse going. Men, not so much. It seeks to correct that for the church.

[A.J. Mendoza · Rating 4 out of 5]

Richard Rohr has provided a collection of seemingly independent chapters under the same theme of male spirituality. The chapters are short and carry a unique approach to the topic, whether through a chase study, a look a Jungian psychology, or a personal account of his own experience with masculinity. One can also find a structure for a man's group if someone wants to create a container where men grow in their own male spirituality together. This book, paired with his book Adam's Return, perfectly continues a man's journey in understanding the uniqueness in their gender in contrast to women.

Would recommend to Christian and non-Christian men with a high-school reading level.

Key Words/Phrases:
- Masculinity
- Carl Jung
- Archetypes
- Male Initiation
- Male Development

[Steven Fouse · Rating 2 out of 5]

I appreciate many things about Richard Rohr. Sometimes, he writes something so profound that it permanently changes the way I live or think or feel. This book, however, was not one of those.

It feels like Rohr just wrote some random reflections about male spirituality and decided to make them into a book. It starts abruptly, feels disjointed, and is almost like a too-brief introduction to other more helpful works.

If you are interested in male spirituality, this is either a book to start with for ideas about where else to look, or a book to skip entirely.

[Richard Skolek · Rating 5 out of 5]

Teoreticky jde o knihu pro věřící muže, ale mužská identita a spiritualita tvoří jen část, někde jde spíš o výchozí bod než o téma. Rohr často mluví i o moderní společnosti a o tom, kde jsme udělali chybu, věnuje se také vztahům. Kniha je plná podnětných myšlenek, ne vždy se čte snadno, zároveň autor nic zbytečně nekomplikuje, naopak. Text vynikne zvlášť ve srovnání s jinými díly, které se věnují současné krizi mužství – františkán Rohr je v mnohém o poznání konkrétnější a srozumitelnější a jeho kniha užitečnější a praktičtější.

[Philip Yoder · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really appreciated this book. While I think I feel a bit uncomfortable with gendered spiritualities, it seems as though our American culture is failing to guide our men into becoming "wise-grandfathers." Something is missing and Rohr has something to say about it. I am curious what a womanist or feminist would say about this work. Also, early on in the book, he says this book is not restricted to benefiting the spirituality of just men.

[Emilie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Though some might balk at the title, this book is really more about the masculine side of spirituality rather than just "spirituality for men." Fr. Rohr even mentions that all of us no matter what our gender have both masculine and feminine sides, and both must be developed. I rather enjoyed this book and appreciated its critiques of modern American culture, which doesn't really give the young proper initiation into adult life.

[Drew Flynn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another great book by Rohr. I felt like I underlined something on every page.

While it teeters for me between profound wisdom and new-age babble, I can't help but feel that's most likely due to my evangelical upbringing.

In a world where masculinity is evolving, it's hard sometimes to see what a better version will look like. This book feels like the right direction for our generation and those who will follow.

[Abigail · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some good thoughts here; a nice follow to Everything Belongs, at least for me. Because of my background (academic, social, ecclesiastical) I found this book to be worth my time, though it definitely won't connect to everyone. The book does sort of feel like a work in progress more than a solid whole piece. I'd be interested to hear other thoughts from people I know.

[Dennis J. Waszak · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good and deep readu

Rohr's examination of men and manhood is a very heavy read. Some of the philosophical arguments you may question but he does definitely provide munch food for thought on what it means to be a man in our society today. An overall good read that must be read slowly to fully appreciate his guidance and approach.

[Sebastian Kruk · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm still torn apart on what to think about this book. There are many interesting observations, some overstretched/forced parallels, and some matters I'm not sure they align correctly with what we have been taught so far. Worth reading and picking up some ideas but it tries too much to impose / profess authors vision; too pushy and evidence lacking for a scientific mind.

[Edward Cronin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mature Chrixtianiy

This is a profoundly written book that defines Christian growth for men by examining the lack of fathers love in our lives and understanding what needs to be done in order to live in true holiness with God I'm our life.

[Bryan Terrill · Rating 5 out of 5]

Must-read for any man.

This book by Rohr has been more illuminating to me and my spiritual journey than any other top selling Christian book on male spirituality.

[Matt Nixon · Rating 4 out of 5]

As with all of Rohr’s material, this book introduces a new way to think of male spirituality - one that is inclusive and embracing of change with age.

[Liz · Rating 4 out of 5]

A helpful inside look at masculinity and masculine spirituality. Rohr uses archetypes and mother/father needs to explore male spiritual development and men's needs at each step of their journey.

[Jeff · Rating 5 out of 5]

Interesting read as a son, father and man.

[Gabriel Smart · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very interesting book.

[Lenhardt Stevens · Rating 3 out of 5]

Compelling synthesis of archetype psychological theories and Catholicism. Not just for men.

[Michael Barrington · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not what I expected. Having read many of Rohr's books and enjoyed them, this one I felt was a stretch and could not relate to much of his thinking.