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When the Ocean Flies
★★★★★ “This book brought me to tears and a greater understanding of my own possibilities.” Terresa Cooper Haskew, author of Winston’s Book of Souls
An email from a stranger tells Alison Earley that her natural father, whom she has known for only six years, has died suddenly. What begins as a short trip back to Scotland for a funeral soon becomes a journey that puts adoption, sexuality, and identity on a collision course as Alison finds herself caught between the life and family she has so carefully constructed on one continent and the family from which she was taken on another.
Shunned by her father’s family, reunited with her natural mother, and reconnected with a long-lost love, Alison finds herself trying to shepherd her youngest child towards college while questioning everything she thought she knew about herself.
When her natural mother uncovers a series of letters written to Alison from the grandmother she never knew, resurrecting the stories of generations of women—stories long buried by patriarchal rule—Alison realizes that she must find the courage to face and reveal the secrets of her own past. At what cost, though? And who and what will be left in the aftermath?
When the Ocean Flies explores the pain of separation and abuse, and the power of love to heal even over huge gaps in time and geographical distance.
An email from a stranger tells Alison Earley that her natural father, whom she has known for only six years, has died suddenly. What begins as a short trip back to Scotland for a funeral soon becomes a journey that puts adoption, sexuality, and identity on a collision course as Alison finds herself caught between the life and family she has so carefully constructed on one continent and the family from which she was taken on another.
Shunned by her father’s family, reunited with her natural mother, and reconnected with a long-lost love, Alison finds herself trying to shepherd her youngest child towards college while questioning everything she thought she knew about herself.
When her natural mother uncovers a series of letters written to Alison from the grandmother she never knew, resurrecting the stories of generations of women—stories long buried by patriarchal rule—Alison realizes that she must find the courage to face and reveal the secrets of her own past. At what cost, though? And who and what will be left in the aftermath?
When the Ocean Flies explores the pain of separation and abuse, and the power of love to heal even over huge gaps in time and geographical distance.
- GenresFamily
356 pages, Kindle Edition
Published February 27, 2024
7 people are currently reading
165 people want to read
About the author
Heather G. Marshall
3 books51 followersHeather G. Marshall is an adoptee, author, speaker, teacher and guide. Her work reveals a deep reverence for the natural world and for the power and wisdom of older women as she weaves personal narrative with universal truth, guiding readers to question old beliefs, reclaim their voices, and step into stories of belonging and agency. Heather's writing has been published in a variety of journals, including Black Middens: New Writing Scotland, and Quarried, an anthology of the best of three decades of Pine Mountain Sand and Gravel; she has published two novels--The Thorn Tree (MP Publishing, 2014) and When the Ocean Flies (Vine Leaves Press 2024)--and a collection of short stories--Between Sea and Sky (Vine Leaves Press 2026). Her TED talk, “Letting Go of Expectations,” centers around her adoption and reunion. Originally from Scotland, Heather is currently based in the US. You can find out more about her at https://heathergmarshall.com/
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Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews
December 28, 2023
On the face of it this is a simple story of a woman who was adopted at birth trying to find her roots. But the story expands into so much more than that.
Alison has her own life - married with grown up children, when she decides to contact her birth mother. This leads her to the story of her parents and the tragic circumstances that led to her adoption.
The story is divided into various timelines in Alison's life, interspersed with letters from her maternal grandmother. It's easy to follow, written clearly and with great care.
I felt it too slow at times but the only parts that I felt like skipping through were the descriptions of Alison's husband's treatment of her. It will make your blood boil.
On the whole I enjoyed the book although I thought some slower parts could have been edited a little more rigorously. Thankfully I'm not an editor and don't have to make decisions about what is essential and what doesn't add to the story.
I'd definitely recommend this book. It is powerful women's fiction and deserves recognition as such.
I received an advance review copy for free and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
Alison has her own life - married with grown up children, when she decides to contact her birth mother. This leads her to the story of her parents and the tragic circumstances that led to her adoption.
The story is divided into various timelines in Alison's life, interspersed with letters from her maternal grandmother. It's easy to follow, written clearly and with great care.
I felt it too slow at times but the only parts that I felt like skipping through were the descriptions of Alison's husband's treatment of her. It will make your blood boil.
On the whole I enjoyed the book although I thought some slower parts could have been edited a little more rigorously. Thankfully I'm not an editor and don't have to make decisions about what is essential and what doesn't add to the story.
I'd definitely recommend this book. It is powerful women's fiction and deserves recognition as such.
I received an advance review copy for free and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
January 14, 2024
As an adult adoptee who has carried the wounds of adoption and gone through the process of healing through searching, this book resonated deeply with me. Although a novel, it feels like the author, also an adoptee, has clearly poured her own experiences and insights into this work.
On the surface it is a well written story following Alison, a newly single 50 year old mother of grown-up children, returning from her home in the United States to her birthplace in the islands of Scotland to attend the funeral of her birth father who she has grown close to since finding him six years earlier.
Throughout the story, the author skilfully weaves past memories into present time feelings, filling in a life story from growing up as the adopted child of inadequate parents, through many years pleasing a controlling husband, and along the way denial of a relationship that went against societal norms. Eloquently written sentences provide insights into Alison’s desperate need to please in order to retain relationships and friendships however unsuitable or damaging they may be, subsuming her own needs through fear and a sense of unworthiness all too common to adoptees.
‘I spent rainy afternoons sketching my dreams, though the dreams were nightmares born of insecurity and a sense of displacement and loss’
‘Whenever anyone walked away, I trembled as though I might disintegrate’
and
‘My adult self doesn’t want to be anyone’s rescue case. My child self has wanted someone to come for her since the very beginning’
These words express feelings I have known so well but could never have expressed so perfectly. Even her husband’s icy disdain for her need to search echoes my own experience.
Of her birth mother Alison ponders ‘Once, she’d curled within that body, known every gurgle for forty weeks, their two hearts beating. The rhythms of her mother’s footfalls, the melody of her voice, the drumroll of her tears, the burble of laughter.’
The author shows us the pain on all three sides of the ‘Adoption Triad’ and the healing power of reunion, of understanding one’s roots and eventually finding the courage to be yourself and live the right life. She also conveys the loss of so many years with birth parents that can never be regained and the sense that nobody else would really understand.
I needed to read the book twice to absorb it all.
In my view, this book is must read for every adult adoptee. For everyone else, it is an intriguing story filled with insights, emotions, discovery, travel and a touch of history.
Highly recommended.
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
On the surface it is a well written story following Alison, a newly single 50 year old mother of grown-up children, returning from her home in the United States to her birthplace in the islands of Scotland to attend the funeral of her birth father who she has grown close to since finding him six years earlier.
Throughout the story, the author skilfully weaves past memories into present time feelings, filling in a life story from growing up as the adopted child of inadequate parents, through many years pleasing a controlling husband, and along the way denial of a relationship that went against societal norms. Eloquently written sentences provide insights into Alison’s desperate need to please in order to retain relationships and friendships however unsuitable or damaging they may be, subsuming her own needs through fear and a sense of unworthiness all too common to adoptees.
‘I spent rainy afternoons sketching my dreams, though the dreams were nightmares born of insecurity and a sense of displacement and loss’
‘Whenever anyone walked away, I trembled as though I might disintegrate’
and
‘My adult self doesn’t want to be anyone’s rescue case. My child self has wanted someone to come for her since the very beginning’
These words express feelings I have known so well but could never have expressed so perfectly. Even her husband’s icy disdain for her need to search echoes my own experience.
Of her birth mother Alison ponders ‘Once, she’d curled within that body, known every gurgle for forty weeks, their two hearts beating. The rhythms of her mother’s footfalls, the melody of her voice, the drumroll of her tears, the burble of laughter.’
The author shows us the pain on all three sides of the ‘Adoption Triad’ and the healing power of reunion, of understanding one’s roots and eventually finding the courage to be yourself and live the right life. She also conveys the loss of so many years with birth parents that can never be regained and the sense that nobody else would really understand.
I needed to read the book twice to absorb it all.
In my view, this book is must read for every adult adoptee. For everyone else, it is an intriguing story filled with insights, emotions, discovery, travel and a touch of history.
Highly recommended.
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
January 15, 2024
Excellent read.
I was really intrigued by this story of family, relationships, and twists and turns.
Often heart-breaking, so sad, scenes alternate between past and present. I was a bit confused at first: I noticed it changes from Alison writing, in later years; then in the third person for her younger days, looking back to past times. And who was writing the passages in italics? I later found out, and it all made perfect sense.
The book had a good mix of subjects: Being an adoptee, trying to trace birth parents, plus travels, as the family moved from Scotland to America. There was a rollercoaster of happenings. An emotional story... so many emotions. A skilful blending of the past and present.
There were so many happenings and branches in this. It's not just about being adopted and finding out a bit of the family history. So much more, and so many emotions running through. It really gripped me, and just took my breath away as events built.
Emotional and affecting, this lady's story is so intense, so many factors, it pulls you in as much as any blockbuster fiction bestseller. Scenes flit from one time to another, but her timing is so spot on. You’re reading a scene just in that time, waiting for the next happening....then she keeps you waiting a bit to find out what happens next, and moves on to other events, taking place in another few years. You're just compelled to read on. Beautifully written, expertly constructed, and it moved me so much.
This wasn’t quite what I thought it would be….I can’t really say why so as not to give anything away….but everything was answered later. I really FELT this book..... but then found out some things….. But it didn't matter. I don't think I would have felt as deeply if I'd have known before reading.
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
I was really intrigued by this story of family, relationships, and twists and turns.
Often heart-breaking, so sad, scenes alternate between past and present. I was a bit confused at first: I noticed it changes from Alison writing, in later years; then in the third person for her younger days, looking back to past times. And who was writing the passages in italics? I later found out, and it all made perfect sense.
The book had a good mix of subjects: Being an adoptee, trying to trace birth parents, plus travels, as the family moved from Scotland to America. There was a rollercoaster of happenings. An emotional story... so many emotions. A skilful blending of the past and present.
There were so many happenings and branches in this. It's not just about being adopted and finding out a bit of the family history. So much more, and so many emotions running through. It really gripped me, and just took my breath away as events built.
Emotional and affecting, this lady's story is so intense, so many factors, it pulls you in as much as any blockbuster fiction bestseller. Scenes flit from one time to another, but her timing is so spot on. You’re reading a scene just in that time, waiting for the next happening....then she keeps you waiting a bit to find out what happens next, and moves on to other events, taking place in another few years. You're just compelled to read on. Beautifully written, expertly constructed, and it moved me so much.
This wasn’t quite what I thought it would be….I can’t really say why so as not to give anything away….but everything was answered later. I really FELT this book..... but then found out some things….. But it didn't matter. I don't think I would have felt as deeply if I'd have known before reading.
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
August 18, 2024
When the Ocean Flies is a beautiful story of searching and finding oneself. Adopted as a baby, Alison seems to fit into the idea of how other people see her and how she should behave. The path to finding her birth family sets her free to be exactly who she wants to be.
Heather G. Marshall draws the past and present together with such delicious precision. A fantastic read and highly recommended.
Heather G. Marshall draws the past and present together with such delicious precision. A fantastic read and highly recommended.
December 11, 2023
If you like a chick book, aka women's literature, this is a good one. I gave it four stars because the shifts between times and characters are tough to recognize. I would get halfway through a paragraph and realize I was not in the character I thought I was. Then I would have to backtrack to be sure I was understanding what was happening in that moment. But the story itself is good. The emotions and feelings very strong and easy to connect to.
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
April 7, 2024
Heather G. Marshall's novel is about adoption, family secrets, and love imparted through the generations. Alison Earley was adopted in infancy and didn't find her family of origin until she was an adult. She is given a cache of her late biological grandmother's letters to her which connects her to the wisdom of generations of strong Scottish women. This gift helps Alison answer her own questions: "How does one find agency?;" "What role does nature vs. nurture play?;" "What is family?;" and "Who am I?" Scotland has long held a special fascination for me, and the fact that the story takes place there makes When the Ocean Flies even more intriguing. A definite recommendation, and not just for adoptees.
January 24, 2024
“When the Ocean Flies” by Heather G. Marshall is a haunting work of biographical fiction, set in Scotland and the US. It is a story of separation and adoption and how things can go wrong if a child is repeatedly told that she is worthless, given away by her natural mother for unknown reasons and raised by an adoptive mother who doesn't seem to love her.
When Alison, married with 4 kids in the US, learns that her natural father has died, she embarks on a journey of calling her whole life into question. She learns step by step that it is her low self-esteem, the abuse by her adoptive mother (‘You owe me’) and the unanswered question why her natural mother gave her away that prevented her from making the right choices in her life. For her whole life, Alison desperately wants to ‘belong’ and lead ‘a respectable life’. She always feels she is not good enough and becomes a real people pleaser, doing what she thinks she is expected to do and not what she wants deep inside.
Alison writes about her first romantic experiences: “Each boy affirmed that there was something about her that rendered her not worthy. She was worth having, but not keeping. She was stuck in the swirl of the start of her story, of what came before the Happily Ever After, every time wishing for a different ending, for someone to rescue her and carry her home. To try to earn this, she was driven to work harder, to prove her goodness. On the outside, she made good grades, graduated high school, started college. On the inside, she pushed down the part of herself that she believed demonstrated the filth of where she was from.”
It is no surprise that such a lovely and modest woman ends up with a controlling and abusive husband, suffers from weight issues, cannot see the truth and who it is who really loves her.
The story is narrated in many timelines from 1967 to 2017, interspersed with mystic letters from her unknown Scottish grandmother Eilidh – I had to flip back and forth a few times to be able to follow, which disrupted the reading flow a bit for me. The descriptions of the characters in the story are particularly well done. I could feel her pain. I liked the book very much, and especially the hope it ends with. I can recommend it wholeheartedly.
I received an advance review copy for free and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
When Alison, married with 4 kids in the US, learns that her natural father has died, she embarks on a journey of calling her whole life into question. She learns step by step that it is her low self-esteem, the abuse by her adoptive mother (‘You owe me’) and the unanswered question why her natural mother gave her away that prevented her from making the right choices in her life. For her whole life, Alison desperately wants to ‘belong’ and lead ‘a respectable life’. She always feels she is not good enough and becomes a real people pleaser, doing what she thinks she is expected to do and not what she wants deep inside.
Alison writes about her first romantic experiences: “Each boy affirmed that there was something about her that rendered her not worthy. She was worth having, but not keeping. She was stuck in the swirl of the start of her story, of what came before the Happily Ever After, every time wishing for a different ending, for someone to rescue her and carry her home. To try to earn this, she was driven to work harder, to prove her goodness. On the outside, she made good grades, graduated high school, started college. On the inside, she pushed down the part of herself that she believed demonstrated the filth of where she was from.”
It is no surprise that such a lovely and modest woman ends up with a controlling and abusive husband, suffers from weight issues, cannot see the truth and who it is who really loves her.
The story is narrated in many timelines from 1967 to 2017, interspersed with mystic letters from her unknown Scottish grandmother Eilidh – I had to flip back and forth a few times to be able to follow, which disrupted the reading flow a bit for me. The descriptions of the characters in the story are particularly well done. I could feel her pain. I liked the book very much, and especially the hope it ends with. I can recommend it wholeheartedly.
I received an advance review copy for free and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
May 13, 2024
"When the Ocean Flies" explores themes of separation, abuse, and the redemptive force of love amid the expanse of time and geography. Through its dual timeline narrative, readers are transported alongside Alison as she embarks on a poignant journey back to her birthland for her natural father's funeral.
The novel navigates the complexities of abusive relationships, shedding light on the triggers and repercussions of such harrowing experiences. Due to some of these factors, I would list a content warning for abusive relationships, adoption, and intense emotional responses.
Adding long-lost letters from Alison's grandmother, a figure she never had the chance to know, brings a new dimension to the tale. These letters are poignant reminders of familial ties and the enduring power of connection, even in the face of separation and estrangement.
While the narrative unfolds seamlessly, there are moments of slight confusion due to abrupt character switches. However, this doesn't detract from the story's emotional resonance, which explores the universal questions of identity, belonging, and reconciliation.
"When the Ocean Flies" tugs at the heartstrings, prompting readers to ponder their journeys through life and the enduring impact of love across time and distance. With a compelling narrative and profound themes of searching for your true self, this novel will linger in readers' minds long after turning the final page.
Visit my website review to read a guest post from the author about destinations/walking paths that inspired this tale.
I received a copy of the book for the tour. This review is my honest, unbiased opinion.
The novel navigates the complexities of abusive relationships, shedding light on the triggers and repercussions of such harrowing experiences. Due to some of these factors, I would list a content warning for abusive relationships, adoption, and intense emotional responses.
Adding long-lost letters from Alison's grandmother, a figure she never had the chance to know, brings a new dimension to the tale. These letters are poignant reminders of familial ties and the enduring power of connection, even in the face of separation and estrangement.
While the narrative unfolds seamlessly, there are moments of slight confusion due to abrupt character switches. However, this doesn't detract from the story's emotional resonance, which explores the universal questions of identity, belonging, and reconciliation.
"When the Ocean Flies" tugs at the heartstrings, prompting readers to ponder their journeys through life and the enduring impact of love across time and distance. With a compelling narrative and profound themes of searching for your true self, this novel will linger in readers' minds long after turning the final page.
Visit my website review to read a guest post from the author about destinations/walking paths that inspired this tale.
I received a copy of the book for the tour. This review is my honest, unbiased opinion.
January 5, 2024
A book that contains familial relationships from almost every angle is a book that can almost always guarantee conflict.
I enjoyed the telling of the crones. Of the old ways. The deeper thoughts to one’s existence.
I did find the writing hard to follow. I normally love a dual timeline, but I found this one to be quite confusing and I was constantly backing up to see where I actually was in the storyline. The letters to Jayne were especially random to me. I felt there needed to be some kind of split front the rest of the chapter when they began. The grandmother began her narrations in the middle of what seemed like a pointed line of thought and I never really knew who was speaking.
Having no real experience with adoption, I can’t speak to that, but it felt that Alison was in a “coming of age” situation that never actually reached a conclusion.
It was clear that women played a huge role in the book. Women as support systems, women fighting for their independence, women learning how to advocate for themselves…
The contrast between Alison and Vic and how they were brought up lent to a great comparison between a traditional woman’s role and a woman’s role that wasn’t.
In the end, those roles opened up questions of what women seek from their relationships and the lengths they will go to get it.
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
I enjoyed the telling of the crones. Of the old ways. The deeper thoughts to one’s existence.
I did find the writing hard to follow. I normally love a dual timeline, but I found this one to be quite confusing and I was constantly backing up to see where I actually was in the storyline. The letters to Jayne were especially random to me. I felt there needed to be some kind of split front the rest of the chapter when they began. The grandmother began her narrations in the middle of what seemed like a pointed line of thought and I never really knew who was speaking.
Having no real experience with adoption, I can’t speak to that, but it felt that Alison was in a “coming of age” situation that never actually reached a conclusion.
It was clear that women played a huge role in the book. Women as support systems, women fighting for their independence, women learning how to advocate for themselves…
The contrast between Alison and Vic and how they were brought up lent to a great comparison between a traditional woman’s role and a woman’s role that wasn’t.
In the end, those roles opened up questions of what women seek from their relationships and the lengths they will go to get it.
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
July 11, 2024
Heather Marshall’s Alison is the first person to show me the deep emotional experience of being an adoptee in a way that I could almost feel. Marshall’s writing is so lovely and soulful, even as you feel the character’s pain and longing so acutely. I loved Vic, Tori, Mary – and of course, Eilidh – the women who loved Alison and who defined her.
Alison’s description of her “daughter-self, mother-self, the filthy girl and the gypsy and the good girl who wanted to please her mum, to save her, and now the beginning of the crone-self as well” synthesizes so much of what the novel contains and highlights Marshall’s exquisite, evocative way with sentences.
In the last few pages, she has a refrain of “All my life I have hidden…” and so it seems the journey is one of self-discovery and “coming out.” The reader is on Alison’s side from the first moment and her world of heartache and, finally, liberation. This is a beautiful novel that resonates and lingers.
Alison’s description of her “daughter-self, mother-self, the filthy girl and the gypsy and the good girl who wanted to please her mum, to save her, and now the beginning of the crone-self as well” synthesizes so much of what the novel contains and highlights Marshall’s exquisite, evocative way with sentences.
In the last few pages, she has a refrain of “All my life I have hidden…” and so it seems the journey is one of self-discovery and “coming out.” The reader is on Alison’s side from the first moment and her world of heartache and, finally, liberation. This is a beautiful novel that resonates and lingers.
November 30, 2023
When the Ocean Flies is a family saga that takes the reader from a lonely birth in cold and rainy Scotland to sunny South Carolina and back to Scotland to find the true origins and path of that little baby snatched from her mother.
In Alison Earley, we are reminded that we are fortunate to have those significant people in our lives that help us through our troubles and lift us up in dark times. And, that those angels are sometimes those we never knew but carry within ourselves and whose love and strength are imprinted upon us.
Alison’s journey is not without hardship, but ultimately, we see her overcome her doubts and questions and she moves forward with bravery. When the Ocean Flies is a good story and a very satisfying read.
In Alison Earley, we are reminded that we are fortunate to have those significant people in our lives that help us through our troubles and lift us up in dark times. And, that those angels are sometimes those we never knew but carry within ourselves and whose love and strength are imprinted upon us.
Alison’s journey is not without hardship, but ultimately, we see her overcome her doubts and questions and she moves forward with bravery. When the Ocean Flies is a good story and a very satisfying read.
May 19, 2024
Alison's story is one that I'd not normally have picked up on my own, but it's written by a very talented friend of a friend, who was kind enough to autograph my copy at her author's talk at a local book shop, and I was eager to check out the pages that held her words. My grandmother loved stories like this, and it turned out that this one fits perfectly for my book club's theme of "Grandma's Spring Porch Read."
4.5 stars, really. Lovely writing, though the letter sections got to be a bit tedious to read; while they are beautiful, I admittedly skimmed and skipped through the latter half of them to get back to the story.
4.5 stars, really. Lovely writing, though the letter sections got to be a bit tedious to read; while they are beautiful, I admittedly skimmed and skipped through the latter half of them to get back to the story.
September 30, 2024
Once I got into this story, these characters, these emotions, I couldn’t put it down. The generations of women and restraint and unwavering love for each other is beyond moving. This is a story that is going to stay with me for a long time. Way to go, Ms. Marshall!!! 💖
June 27, 2024
Beautifully written!
June 29, 2024
Couldn't put it down
December 24, 2024
Evocative, almost gentle and then searing with pain. A gorgeously well written story.
Following the life of Allison before her birth until her early 50’s. Adopted a birth, pulled from Scotland to the US, pulled into manipulative relationships by family and herself. Told across different time periods, in Allison’s voice plus through letters through her maternal grandmother.
The pull of love, separation, belonging and home.
Thanks to Book Sirens, Vine Leaves Press for an ARC of this book in return for an honest review.
Following the life of Allison before her birth until her early 50’s. Adopted a birth, pulled from Scotland to the US, pulled into manipulative relationships by family and herself. Told across different time periods, in Allison’s voice plus through letters through her maternal grandmother.
The pull of love, separation, belonging and home.
Thanks to Book Sirens, Vine Leaves Press for an ARC of this book in return for an honest review.
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews