2,5 stars.
Three things made me curious and hopeful I'd like this book:
-reviews saying it was like Heartstopper, only Australian,
-the blurb says this is "a lyrical, compulsively readable story about first love and coming of age"
-the bright cover in yellow and blue.
Maybe the fact that the 2 boys on the cover DON'T EVEN SMILE should have been a heads up for the mood of the book.
It wasn’t like Heartstopper (at all!), the one thing it has in common with Heartstopper are two queer MCs. It's not a light or wholesome book, either. And the falling in love - part was not easy to see for me.
The author tried very hard to create an authentic YA feeling. The storyline was all edges and lashing out, hurting and being hurt while the MCs where trying to find out who they were.
What I missed was a believable connection between the MCs to make the mutual hurting bearable (for them and for me). I longed for even a bit of mutual comfort-giving to balance the anger and insults out, but I got none until 85% (and then it was in micro- doses) and this made it very hard to read on.
The story is told in third person one pov from Eddie's perspective. The other MC is Dylan and although the blurb doesn't say anything about it, there was a third MC in my opinion, Eddie's step sister Marissa.
For a big part of the book (about 1 year) Dylan and Marissa were a couple, while Eddie was fixated on Dylan. I couldn't say he fancied Dylan or fell in love with him, because I never got that vibe. Dylan was drawn to Eddie, too (same feelings here, it don't think Dylan fancied Eddie or was in love with him) they kissed and there even was a handjob (while Marissa was in the other room) but it never felt like they were seeking or finding comfort in being together. After Marissa found out about Eddie and Dylan the book took a dive from hurtful and angry to depressing and hopeless.
I couldn't say I felt that the MCs seperately or together EVER were happy.
The bullying Eddie had to go through, mostly because of his epilepsie, was VERY bad.
There is strangely enough a hfn at the end, but it wasn’t enough to lift my spirits even a bit.
TW: bullying, homophobia, depression, death of parent, cheating, recurring manipulation/blackmail from someone in a position of power to take clothes off (it felt like a prelude to sexual assualt, the blackmail stops with the MC's refusal to continue shedding clothes).
Tldr: not a light YA novella. Lots of bullying, drinking, smoking weed. Lots of anger, little to no comfort.