Schoolgirls: Young Women, Self Esteem, and the Confidence Gap

by Peggy Orenstein

A NEW YORK TIMES NOTABLE BOOK OF THE YEARWhen Peggy Orenstein's now-classic examination of young girls and self-esteem was first published, it set off a groundswell that continues to this day. Inspired by an American Association of University Women survey that showed a steep decline in confidence as girls reach adolescence, Orenstein set out to explore the obstacles girls face--in school, in the hoime, and in our culture.For this intimate, girls' eye view of the world, Orenstein spent months observing and interviewing eighth-graders from two ethnically disparate communities, seeking to discover what was causing girls to fall into traditional patterns of self-censorship and self-doubt. By taking us into the lives of real young women who are struggling with eating disorders, sexual harrassment, and declining academic achievement, Orenstein brings the disturbing statistics to life with the skill and flair of an experienced journalist. Uncovering the adolescent roots of issues that remain important to American women throughout their lives, this groundbreaking book challenges us to change the way we raise and educate girls.

Genres: Nonfiction, Feminism, Education, Parenting, Gender, Psychology, Sociology

370 pages, Kindle Edition

First published August 1, 1994

About the author

Peggy Orenstein is a best-selling author and a contributing writer for The New York Times Magazine. Orenstein has also written for such publications as The Los Angeles Times, USA Today, Vogue, Elle, Discover, More, Mother Jones, Salon, O: The Oprah Magazine, and The New Yorker, and has contributed commentaries to NPR’s All Things Considered. Her articles have been anthologized multiple times, including in The Best American Science Writing. She has been a keynote speaker at numerous colleges and conferences and has been featured on, among other programs, "Nightline," "Good Morning America," "Today," NPR’s "Fresh Air" and Morning Edition, and CBC’s "As It Happens."

Orenstein was recognized for her “Outstanding Coverage of Family Diversity,” by the Council on Contemporary Families and received a “Books For A Better Life Award” for Waiting for Daisy. Her work has also been honored by the Commonwealth Club of California, the National Women’s Political Caucus of California, and Planned Parenthood Federation of America. Additionally, she has been awarded fellowships from the United States-Japan Foundation and the Asian Cultural Council.

Born in Minneapolis, Minnesota, Orenstein is a graduate of Oberlin College and lives in the San Francisco Bay Area with her husband and daughter.

Reviews

[Jennifer Stec · Rating 4 out of 5]

As an educator, mother, or future mother, OR someone that works with young girls, this book is a must read. I cried through most of the book remembering the hardships of adolescence: popularity, boys, harassment, being female. This book is an interesting microscope into a few girls lives. I was so moved by this book, I emailed the author inquiring about the girls in the story, and what became of them. This was her reply:

Dear Jennifer,


Thank you so much for your note. It makes my day to hear from readers.


You know, the journalist-subject relationship is a peculiar one. It's very intense when it's going on, but it doesn't usually translate to a longer term relatinship, largely because I say so little. I'm like a cipher, because I don't want my subjects to know too much about me--it might color how they relate to me. It's a bit like being a shrink. So I don't tend to stay in touch with my subjects much. I've kept in touch with Becca over the years. She's doing okay. Just broke up with a boyfriend, is a personal trainer, lives in Northern california, not quite suer what she wants to do next. I know that Evie and Lindsay went to junior college, but dont know what they did after that (maybe transferred to 4-year universities). Another girl--oh, gosh, I'm forgetting what I named her in the book, but she's in the first chapter saying "eww" about spiders--got married shortly out of high school and has 3 kids, is a stay-at-home mom for the moment. Another girl with a lesser role in the book graduated UC Davis and works at a Fortune 500 company now. She was into Goth for awhile and then Gaelic.


The girls from Audobon all went to different high schools and their lives are so chaotic that they don't tend ot keep the same phone numbers or addresses for very long. I tried to keep track of Marta, but she just disappeared. Maybe her family was here illegally, I don't know. But when they disconnected their phone, I went to their apartment and they were gone and of cousre no one would tell me where (even if they knew). I know Dashelle graduated high school, but lost her after that. Once I turned on the TV news and there was April as big as life--there had been a race riot at her high school and, of course, she was hte one the TV newspeople were interviewing. THat made me laugh. She was in 11th grade then, so that was the last I heard. And I know nothing about LaRhonda. I wish I could tell you more. What I can tell you is that there are girls like them in every middle school and every high school in urban America and they need someone who will see them, really SEE them. It's a very hard job, teaching in schools like Audobon. There are a lot of kids who slip through cracks.


Thanks again for writing. You might be interested in my other two books. I'm especially fond of my most recent one, a memoir called "Waiting for Daisy." Might not be a natural subject for you, but I hope you'll take a look anyway.


Best wishes and good luck with all you do.


--Peggy

[Vince · Rating 4 out of 5]

I gave this book four stars because it does exactly what its description says it does: describe the hardships that girls in their adolescence face.

And now for the $1,000,000 question:

Where is the equivalent book (call it "Schoolboys") that describes the hurdles that adolescent boys face???

People, especially feminists, like to assume that all is hunky dory with boys and that we don't need to help them (even the media likes to assume this -- just ask Time magazine). I don't think this is the case, because if it were, then we wouldn't see a few teenage boys walking into schools with ammunition and opening fire. It is evident that our public schools (I don't know about private schools, parochial ones, etc.) are failing to meet the needs of boys, in part (in my opinion) because it isn't politically correct to do so.

An anecdote comes to mind. While I was student teaching, my cooperating teacher was teaching a lesson on ratios of boys to girls in the class (this was a ninth grade class). She asked the class how many girls there were and recorded the number on the chalkboard. Then she asked the class how many boys there were, and then said, "way too many."

Is it any wonder, then, why we see boys dropping out of school way more often than girls do (even though the total number of male dropouts have decreased over the years -- I'll give you that -- but that still doesn't take away from the problem), attending college less, doing much worse in reading (even though they do slightly better than girls in math and science, but that too doesn't take away from the problem), and making the honor roll less often than the girls? Despite this, we not only see books like these, but also, programs like the ones on WeTV that highlight the hurdles of adolescent girls -- think of the programs as the video equivalent of Peggy Orenstein's book.

In sum, what I'm getting at is that even though this book does do girls a favor by highlighting the challenges that they face, it is high time that we do likewise for the boys. For as long as politics and the media ignore the suffering of a segment of the youth population for the sake of "leveling the playing field," instead of seeing EVERYONE as a victim, our society will remain a precarious place.

[Elizabeth]

Fascinating book. A bit uncomfortable l to read at the beginning, as it makes you reflect on your own high school experience, but the book delved into many areas about how women are influenced in school that I not thought of. In the last chapter she presented an educational environment that was focused on a wider world view in terms of gender. I would have liked to have read more about solutions to the issues she uncovers, but still an excellent read.

[Christy Hammer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Important for educators and other human beings who know that all the gender equity issues for girls growing up and in school weren't "solved" or had gone away before we started crying "what about the boys?" and putting out books and requisite slew of school workshops on how our culture messes them up, too. (It is true that gender equity experts forgot there were two genders - at least, we'd say now? - for too long...)

[jill · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was written in response to a study about self-esteem and girls in school conducted by the American Association of University Women, and I have to admit that throughout most of my reading of it, one of the questions in the back of my mind was "okay, but don't girls generally out perform boys in educational settings?" So it's interesting that one of the feminist blogs I read (because that's the kind of manhating bitch I am) had this posted earlier this week.
Whatever learning differences boys and girls may have, and whatever problems educational settings have in balancing those differences, I do think the issue of self-esteem and confidence is huge in girls' success. This book raised a lot of issues about girls' socialization, and what is acceptable feminine behavior vs. acceptable male behavior, that are really interesting, both in general and, of course, narcissistically. I know I was one of those perfectionist girls in middle school. I could so easily have been one of the white, middle class girls she interviewed. I never had eating disorders or wanted to cut myself, but I cried in class a couple times because I wasn't doing well enough, and I didn't want to contribute, even though I knew I was the smart kid.
One of the things measured in the original study was what kind of traits adolescents listed as the thing they liked most about themselves; boys overwhelmingly listed skills or personality traits, girls listed physical attributes. I would have listed my intelligence in middle school, I'm sure. I have always identified as smart, not pretty. But it's not like I've overcome the need to be pretty; I just kind of wrote it off. I chose smart, I wasn't pretty -- the end. And, although I do think I'm attractive today, I have problems with people being attracted to me, in a way I don't have problems with people thinking I'm intelligent or funny.
And even traits I like about myself are cast into doubt from a feminist perspective in this book. I don't want to be louder or less diplomatic, but how much of that is the "nice girl" socialization? And, if I accept that it is a result of that socialization, at least to some extent, am I obligated to try and change it?
Questions, questions, questions.

[Amanda · Rating 3 out of 5]

Every time I read a book like this, I walk away thinking how terrifying it is to be a girl in these circumstances and wonder how I missed most of this doubt and self-harm behavior when I was this age. This book underscores a number of common themes about girls in schools, the stereotypes of docile and compliant behavior and the secondary status girls have in school. But I find myself a bit skeptical as the book cannot show all perspectives, only those that reinforce the author's thesis so it ends up being skewed. I would have liked to see what happened to the girls profiled in the book and it left the experience a bit unfinished.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every parent, teacher, man, and woman needs to read this book. I can honestly say it has changed me. This is not a problem that went away when women entered the work force or were given the right to vote. Inequalities happen in subtle ways everyday, everywhere. Reading this book made me so much more aware of them and pushed me to change the way I teach and think.

[Jeannette · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this book for a class in college and dang, it makes me want to home school my kids if I ever had any. It just talks about all the issues and peer pressure that is out there.

[Valerie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is a great resource for parents.

[Marian · Rating 4 out of 5]

Disturbingly accurate even after 20+ years.

[Duncan White · Rating 5 out of 5]

Schoolgirls is occasionally a tough read, but only because of its brutal and unflinching honesty. Some of the stories are downright horrifying but are a little abstracted from my own experience. Others are far more identifiable, and I frequently put the book down for a moment to reflect on my own behavior and how it compared to Orenstein's description.

I suspect a more recent book on the topic (perhaps another one of Orenstein's) would be more valuable for understanding young women's experience in modern times, but it would be wrong to deny the Schoolgirls' relevance. Many of the issues regarding sexual harassment we are still wrestling with, and I'll admit I don't hear as much of that conversation addressing middle school age children (though I admit, I might not be listening in the right places).

Schoolgirls' age also gives it a bit of a time capsule appeal, a benchmark on how far we've come on the various issues it address. On too many it seems the answer is not that far, but I suspect there are areas where this is some improvement. The body positivity movement should claim some success here, as the staggering willingness of the girls to experiment with eating disorders strikes me as something out of another age, specifically the 80's.

Peggy Orenstein does a good job of raising the issues that are affecting young adolescent girls, but what I appreciated most was how she showcased potential solutions to these problems. Awareness of these issues is important, but it seems extremely rare to have a solid, practical example of something that can be done, something you can point to and say "See that? Do more of that!"

[Julie · Rating 5 out of 5]

You need to read this book.

If you're interested in education, you should read this book.
If you're interested in gender roles, women studies, class issues, you really need to read this book.

It's basically an ethnography of two middle schools, one in a poor area and one in a ritzy area. We follow a handful of students at each school and get glimpses into their home and school lives. There are nuanced reactions and interactions with the adults around them that are really telling about expectations of girls in general and these girls in particular.

I read it in high school sometime and was happy that it was assigned in my college Women Studies intro class, because it was a bit of a life-changer for me. I haven't read it in over ten years and have forgotten most of the details now, but still remember the power of these stories.

You need to read this book!

[Fatima]

from Wellesley College

[Kate · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book kinda hurt a lot. Remind me to remind my daughters that they are awesome all the time.

[CTEP]

This was a very interesting book to read. Orenstein looked at two different middle schools; one a middle-class white school and one a poorer, more diverse school.

She was investigating a report about the drop in self-esteem that all girls experience around 13 years, and from which they never recover. Despite the fact that the book is older, it was amazing how much I could relate to some of the class descriptions Orenstein gave-- boys demanding most of the attention, asking questions and also their blatant sexual harassment of girls.

The situation at the urban middle school was far different. Research shows that black girls show much better self-esteem than girls of other races, and that Latina girls have the highest drop in self-esteem of all girls. Both groups were at the second middle-school. It was interested to learn about how the different cultures affected their women.

What Orenstein was really talking about is the hidden curriculum-- the idea that there is an unspoken curriculum taught in our education system that is learned very well by all our children, even when the explicit curriculum is not. Girls are rewarded for decorum and social manners, while boys are rewarded for solving problems and participation in class. Latina girls are taught to not speak in class, to not bring any problems they have to the teacher's attention, and not to expect anything of themselves. Black girls are often taught that the way they behave, in a way that doesn't fit the passive female role model, that they are being rude or stupid, and are not rewarded for acting in ways that if a boy was doing them would be thought okay.

All in all it was a very interested read, that in some ways made me feel sad and hopeless but when Orenstein describes teachers who are making a difference, it made me feel like we do have a capacity to change. After all, often the first step is recognizing the problem. I hope the girls growing up in today's educational system have a better time of it than the girls growing up in ours.

[Ann Branch]

Part Iii (last 30 pages were the best. Ms. Logan teaches social studies with an emphasis on women. A great model for all middle school teachers (at least from my point of few). It gives young girls reason to be proud and develop self-confidence and young boys the opportunity to learn about successful women. I honestly don’t recall learning about any historically important or successful women unless they were married to a successful, important man!

[Stacy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not much has changed in the 20+ years that Orenstein has written this book. Many of the things the young girls in this book experience are things that I experienced as a young girl. It was an important read for me both as a woman and an educator. Orenstein also takes into consideration how race and class factor into these girls' sexuality and self-confidence.

[Samantha Prosser · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book doesn’t just lay out all the problems with the education system, it shows an alternative. The last section is devoted to a classroom that helps young girls thrive, which is a total relief after 150 pages of girls being oppressed.

[Addie Dilley · Rating 5 out of 5]

I could write a million essays about this book, and still not be able to say enough about this topic. This book left me speechless. There are thousands of lessons you can learn from this, but I truly believe every female no matter what age has to read this.

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good book, well researched. I’ll read it again. If you have anything to do with girls, I recommend this one.

[bella rene · Rating 5 out of 5]

read this book. such an interesting study of the struggles of girlhood.

[Kubicz]

*3.5 stars rounded down*

[Sierra Lucas · Rating 3 out of 5]

I don’t really like non fiction books but I had to read it for a class. It was pretty good and it showed how lots of issues women dealt with in the 90s still happen today in schools.

[Eliana · Rating 2 out of 5]

Hypocritical and outdated

[Rachel Willis · Rating 3 out of 5]

A tad repetitive, but sadly still relevant.

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

I worried this would be outdated, but it’s not - with the exception of its exclusive focus on heteronormativity. It’s an easy read, she’s a very accessible storyteller. And it’s disappointing but feels very true.

[Susan D'Entremont · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an old book - over 20 years old, in fact. I read it because I had seen so many references to it. Some things have changed tremendously since it was written, but, sadly, much hasn't changed at all. The author spent time in two middle schools - one suburban and middle class and one inner city and mainly minority. The girls in these schools had different outlooks and approaches to life, but both were hamstrung due to being females.

First the positive since the book was written - girls graduation rate has risen and they are now more likely to graduate and go on to college than boys. Professional development for teachers in urban schools has been created and disseminated so that teachers in these sorts of schools are more likely to know how to deal with the problems that go with these schools and their students' back stories than when this book was written.

BUT - Girls STILL face the double standard discussed in this book, girls are still sexually harassed in schools and don't seem to realize it or know what to do about it, boys still have their outbursts and wild behavior excused more than girls. I don't think very many teachers have taken the conscious efforts described in this book to give girls more say. And now with the greater emphasis on seat learning, standardized tests, and other things that make kids stay quiet and in their seats, girls problems have been swept under the rug as, generally, young boys find it harder to fit in this new formal classroom than girls do.

The individual stories of the girls the author spends time with are compelling, and she does a good job of creating a picture of them. I wish she did a better job of tying in their stories with her overall thesis, though. I am amazed and thankful that two schools and parents in those schools allowed the author to observe and interview them to such and extent. This is a scary prospect because you don't really know the person who will be spending so much time in the school, you worry about privacy issues, and it can be intimidating for both teachers and students alike. But without these opportunities, we will never learn how to better serve young people, so I am grateful.

[Joe · Rating 4 out of 5]

In Schoolgirls, Peggy Orenstein explores self-esteem in young women; in particular, she focuses on how self-esteem relates to education: how low self-esteem can cause women to hold themselves back, and how the school environment can hurt self-esteem in many women.

The book takes a look at one school that is relatively well-off, and another that does not have many resources. Orenstein discusses a number of issues in the contexts of the different situations; it's not an exhaustive study, but it's not really meant to be.

Overall, the book does a good job of talking about many facets of the problem, while not getting too unfocused; humanizing the problem by looking at real students without simply ending up with a long series of anecdotes; and talking about solutions that are working, while avoiding preachiness.

[Carolyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

I LOVED this book. It does a beautiful job of exploring the social and academic struggles of young women across racial, ethnic and class lines and is so readable. Orenstein is a journalist and that carries through in her story telling-- non-fiction with the allure of a plot and characters. The book also does a nice job of explaining young womens' roles in their own lives without making them victims or vixens (or beating up too much on boys). Much of what she writes is not earth shattering for people who have read a lot of feminist works, but the WAY she explains it is fresh, authentic and accessible. If you like Naomi Wolf, you'll love this- it takes those theories and shows them operating in the lives of real women.

[KeTURah · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was a real eye-opener for me, but not in the way one might think. The research for the book was done on 11-14 year old girls during the early 90's, the same time that I was in that age in school. I recognized the mostly white suburban school immediately - it had the exact same environment of female oppression that I remember from my school. And now I realize why I had such a tough time in school - i was conditioned to be unassertive. the saddest thing is that, trapped in a world of double-standards, girls contribute to their own oppression. And they're not getting any help from parents or teachers to break them out of the cycle. i just hope things have changed since i was a teenager.