The Witch's Daughter: My Mother, Her Magic, and the Madness that Bound Us

by Orenda Fink

Acclaimed indie musician and songwriter Orenda Fink delivers a lyrical and moving memoir of a tumultuous childhood with a mother who battled mental illness and addiction.

From her perch on a kitchen stool each night, Orenda Fink’s darkly charismatic mother spins family lore and tells tales of the supernatural powers she wields, insisting that both she and Orenda are magic. By day, Orenda’s childhood is marked by instability and uncertainty. Her family moves from town to town, chasing a fresh start whenever the money runs out. Orenda’s mother insists that she is a witch, and magic is their means of protection from the world outside of their family. Orenda encounters her mother’s magic in all its forms: a crisp $20 bill materializes from nothing when money has run out and a bottle of congealed blood lurks in the closet for unspoken reasons.

When her mother’s substance abuse and controlling behavior crescendo, Orenda escapes to pursue a music career in Birmingham, Alabama, and then storied Athens, Georgia, forming bands Little Red Rocket and Azure Ray. She orbits the family home, always drawn back by her mother’s dark powers and her own need to solve the mystery of whether that claim of magic—or any magic—is real, or merely an expression of mental illness. Orenda’s journey takes her from churches in the American South—eager to exercise the demons out of her—to even more mysterious practitioners of country magic in the Southeast and beyond.

Finally seeking refuge in California’s high desert, Orenda works to knit together her divided worlds with the help of a Jungian psychotherapist. She is stunned to learn that her mother fits many of the criteria associated with borderline personality disorder, including a sub-type identified by famed thought leader Christine Ann Lawson, known as “The Witch”—an aggressive, dominating figure who operates by fear-driven control, sometimes claiming to wield magic.

Told in spellbinding prose, this memoir of music, self-discovery, and compassion is for anyone who has had to conjure a safe place to call home.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Biography Memoir, Mental Health, Music, Biography, Autobiography

304 pages, Hardcover

First published August 6, 2024

Reviews

[Donna · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the haunting memoir of a girl fighting to survive poverty, mental illness, and complete family dysfunction.

I loved the writing . The author has a beautiful way with words. At times it felt almost poetic as she unraveled her story. Though tragic in so many places, the scenes were vivid, not with just what happened but also the emotional toll. Even in adulthood, she was still trying to escape the clutches of her family.

I'm torn between four and five stars. I reserve five stars for books I'd gladly reread. I'm not entirely sure I'd revisit this one for the heartbreak of a story, but I'd be tempted to for the writing. So, while not quite 5 stars, I'll round up instead of down.

[kimberly · Rating 4 out of 5]

Like the cacti in the desert where she now currently resides, Fink learned to adapt to the environment around her as a child growing up with a mother suffering from depression, borderline personality disorder, and psychotic episodes. She was five when first remembers her mother going in to the hospital. For being sad, her father says.

Told through propulsive prose and bewitching tellings of haunted houses, witchcraft, and her mother’s fantastical tales, this memoir was difficult to set aside; haunting in its delivery.

Read if you enjoy memoirs about dysfunctional family dynamics (specifically mother-daughter relationships); mental illness; living with and overcoming—or at least attempting to overcome—childhood trauma; finding hope and healing in what feels like a hopeless situation; and the search for one’s own identity.

Thank you Gallery Books and NetGalley for the digital copy in exchange for an honest review! Available 08/06/2024

[Reagan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Orenda Fink has a heartbreaking, unique, and inspirational story, it made me feel so seen and heard; almost as if she was taking pages out of my diary. Will absolutely recommend this to anyone, and especially those I know who have a troubled relationship with their mother or father figures. Amazing amazing amazing. No notes. (But one observation, Orenda is addicted to commas in the same way that I am). Kept me up past my bedtime every time I picked it up in bed. Hahaha.

I love the way this book handles the exact feelings and heartbreak that come along with having a parental figure who emotionally leans on you, and the elephant-like feeling of learning about the trauma your family has experienced generationally.

[Meg Ryan · Rating 2 out of 5]

Yes my rating system is based on how much I like a book and yes I found everyone in this book annoying as hell. Too much indie scene not enough witch mother and that is BIG coming from me, an indie sleaze era obsessed millennial!

And yes I KNow it’s a book about a “witch” but all the white lady mysticism shit drove me “fookin”* mad

* crINGe

[Vampfiction · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book really explains the feelings narcissistic abuse brings up. It’s a good example of the dysfunction of a family and how it can affect a person.

[Anna Broomfield · Rating 3 out of 5]

A stark picture of poverty and mental illness. A really striking portrait of a family with a mother with borderline personality disorder. There were so many moments where I was aghast by what I read and I was agonizing over when the author would get out, when her sisters would get out of the situation - the relationship with their mother. But the author does a really good job of showing you the difficulty of separating from that kind of relationship. All the reasons you come up with why the person can be fixed and you can fix them if you just try hard enough.

The most confronting moments for me were the two times the abusive mother perhaps felt loved? Once when the author told her she saw her burden and that she’d had to carry it alone all this time and then once when the authors dog would lick the mothers face and she’s quoted as saying “he really loves me.” It feels odd to feel pity for this person who we’ve seen throughout the book emotionally abusing her family so deeply. But you really feel the storm inside the mother, that perhaps she has not ever felt loved or felt love for another. Despite the mother’s abuse and total lack of love or affection for her daughter, you feel the author’s deep love and understanding and pity for her mother. You understand the connection from the daughter’s side and why it’s so difficult to leave the relationship despite the experiences of abuse.

The story is told in a sort of thematic patchwork. Often the writer will start a story about an experience or a person or a relationship and once she’s finished jump back in time to the next relevant piece of information.

[Marcella Peach · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was lucky enough to come into possession of this book as an Advanced Reader Copy. I was immediately intrigued by the description of the book as I’m currently studying to become a therapist. I’m specifically interested in working with healing intergenerational trauma, dysfunctional families, and even more specifically, mother-daughter relationships. This book encompassed all of that and more, making it very hard to put down. I now have a much better grasp of what Borderline Personality Disorder looks like for not only the individual themselves, but for those around the individual as well. I truly appreciated the author’s honest retelling of what it was like to grow up with a borderline mother, allowing me to understand the disorder outside of a clinical definition.
As a side note, I very much enjoyed reading about the author’s experience living in Athens as I am an alumna of the University of Georgia!

[Megan · Rating 3 out of 5]

I had the privilege of taking this home as an advanced reader copy, and I’m so glad that I did.

Though I had never listened to Orenda’s music prior to reading this book, I had seen her name in passing through her collaborations with other artists. I was a huge Bright Eyes fan in high school and a huge of Montreal fan in my twenties, and reading about her interactions with both of them was extremely interesting to me. Through reading this book, however, I also became interested in Orenda.

The reviews are not lying when they say that this book is compulsively readable. It’s a wild ride from start to finish— at times, informative, at other times, devastating. But ultimately, Orenda’s story is one that leaves you feeling hopeful. It’s a case study of generational trauma, full of empathy, perseverance, and courage and I hope that any readers who can relate to her circumstances feel inspired by her.

[Kristy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow, what a childhood to have lived. I am so glad to read that she (and her sister) came out better because of it. A true testimony to nature vs. nuture. I deducted a star because it seemed a bit unorganized; went in one direction and then abruptly ended and switched to something remotely related.

Thank you to the publisher for the ARC in exchange for an unfiltered review.

[Kay · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 ⭐

[Hadley · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. Captivating and so raw and real deal. I learned things about people in my own life reading this. I really enjoy her style of writing. Looking forward to discovering her music which I hadn't known of before now.

[Kyle Lisowski · Rating 5 out of 5]

Definitely a fast read. I love memoirs, and I came into it only as a fan of Azure Ray. Her story is harrowing and heartbreaking. A must read.

[Amy Jo McMahon · Rating 4 out of 5]

The instability and uncertainty of Orenda’s childhood is horrendous. Her mother’s mental illness caused a lifetime of pain, and her children were left constantly reaching for an illusion of motherly love. Her mother’s “narcissistic abuse” allowed her to manipulate and deceive her children from a young age. Orenda’s mother claimed she was a witch, and would often brag about using her magic for personal gains, or to inflict pain on those who had ‘wronged her’. Alcoholism consumed her, and she would often spiral into unpredictable, selfish, and destructive episodes. Orenda describes her mother as checking all of the boxes for borderline personality disorder. Specifically Dr. Christine Ann Lawson’s BP category “The Witch” according to her book: Understanding the Borderline Mother: Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable, and Volatile Relationship (2000).

Dr. Lawson’s description of the Witch includes characteristics including…
- acting cruelly to others, especially those who are too weak, young or powerless to help themselves
- no remorse for nightmarish acts
- wants power and control over others so others won’t abandon them

“Children live in terror of Witches' capricious moods; they are the "collateral damage" of a secret war they did not start, do not understand, and cannot control. Attacks are random, intense, and cruel. Children automatically think they're at fault and can become shamed, depressed, insecure, dissociative, and hypervigilant.” - Dr. Lawson

Seeing the perspective of a child, now a grown woman, who experienced The Witch as her reality in addition to her mother claiming to be a witch was jarring. This is an incredibly heartbreaking story - nobody should live in fear of their mother.

[Sara Planz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Indie musician Orenda Fink takes us through the story of her family life in this compelling memoir. Since childhood, Orenda's mother has told tales about her powers as a "witch," powers she can use to protect the family. Powers she believes that Orenda has, too. But her mother's emotional instability and substance abuse tell a different tale, one of mental illness that is slowly pushing away Orenda and the rest of the family. Orenda's love and compassion for her mother brings her back home time and time again until she moves away to California, and with the help of a therapist, realizes it's not "magic" that makes her mother the way she is, but possible borderline personality disorder. Orenda must find a way to make peace with her past and her relationship with her family, finding mindful ways to accomplish both.

This memoir is a story about relationships, pain, love, understanding, and acceptance. Orenda Fink opens up about her journey and lets us see everything she experienced in an objective yet incredibly lyrical book. Many of us know the effects of mental illness, whether firsthand or through someone in our orbit, and the care and detail given to this struggle allow the reader to have a clear understanding of the toll it takes on the person and the people around them.

[Linda Hutchinson · Rating 4 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Witch’s Daughter
Author: Orenda Fink
Source: Orlando Public Library
Publication Date: August 6, 2024
🪄
The Witch’s Daughter, authored by Orenda Fink, is a memoir that delves into the author’s mother’s beliefs and experiences as a bona fide witch. If you’re not a fan of witch stories, this book might not be for you. I’ve read many literary works featuring witches, but this is the first time I’ve encountered a memoir where the author’s mother claims to have supernatural abilities, including sightings, ghosts, hauntings, spells, and incantations.

The book presents a shocking and dysfunctional family dynamic. The children grew up under horrendous circumstances, and the resulting psychological issues are evident throughout the narrative. While the subject matter is challenging, the book is also intriguing. It’s worth noting that the author is a well-known indie musical artist, whom I was unaware of until I read this book.

Rating this novel was a bit of a struggle. The writing style is uneven, the timelines are confusing, and the subject matter is extremely difficult to process. Despite these challenges, I found the book to be an interesting read.

#thewitchesdaughter @orendafink #borderlinemother #anxiety #narcissist #Schizophrenia #abuse #voodoo

[lola · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was orbiting me in the ethers from a late night dark night of the soul in early 2o25. I randomly began thinking of an old classmate i went to elementary school with briefly— back in the early 90s. As a first grader, she drew the most badass horses!! For reasons unknown, or known, this particular night brought forth images of her horse drawings and down the rabbit hole i went. This of course led me to her older sister, then this book. Upon returning to A for a brief stay, i made use of my solitude at the local library and was shocked to find The WITCH’S Daughter (iykyk) available for checkout. Of course I’m no longer a local so everything i borrowed had to be checked out by my sis. Anyway, i snatched this book up so quick, remembering the night, a few months prior, i discovered it. Of course I devoured it and discovered huge revelations within my own familial journey, happening IRT. I felt like this book gave me more validity and space into the analysis of my own dreams and the ways in which i am tapped in spiritually and emotionally to my own lineage. I had no idea the initiation it would spark into a deeper healing within my own life/timeline. Thanks Orenda! I don’t know you🤔but i know you😉

-L

[Darcia Helle · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Witch” is a borderline personality disorder subtype specific to mothers. In general terms, witches are controlling, unpredictable, and sadistic. While not officially diagnosed, Orenda Fink’s mother displays all the characteristics of this disorder.

Fink’s mother considers herself a witch in the more traditional sense, as one who wields magic and spells, forcing her will upon others.

In THE WITCH’S DAUGHTER, Fink conflates these two types of witches, as she shares her life from childhood into adulthood, with a mentally unstable mother and a father unwilling or unable to intervene.

This is a powerful memoir, full of insight into the lasting damage caused by a parent with undiagnosed mental illness.

I listened to the audiobook, which follows the trend of memoirs being narrated by the authors. While I appreciate that they want to tell their own stories, it doesn’t always work for me. Here, I felt like Fink read the book, but didn’t necessarily give it life. It felt oddly vacant of emotion, more an exercise in reading aloud than the kind of reading done by a professional voice actor.

*I received a free audiobook download from Simon Audio.*

[Jacquelynn Lyon · Rating 3 out of 5]

I do love a memoir about deeply complicated families and this delivered. Orenda Fink writes about her experience growing up with a deeply unpredictable, drunk, and manipulative mother that calls herself a Witch. Despite the instability and threats, Orenda grows up to be a successful indie musician. The author begins the story analyzing how her mother fit every single one of the Borderline Personality archetype of the Witch.

I am a sucker for any story that goes in-depth with any kind of family and I think the memoir did a good job of staying focused on mother-daughter and family relationships. However, the book had a very surface-level descriptions throughout and there weren't very many moments where I felt like I was "there." The story glides over big chunks of moments and information so it feels more like an overview of a life rather than a lived one. It was a bit too woo-woo for my tastes too and I would have enjoyed a bit more perspective and "so what" of it all, regardless, it was an interesting look into someone's life and a topic, borderline personality disorder, that I wasn't very familiar with.

[Vada Morrison · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's no secret that I am drawn to books and stories depicting relationships between mothers and daughters, especially when those relationships are tumultuous and mirror my own.

Orenda Fink's The Witch's Daughter is a hauntingly poetic depiction of navigating the world with a narcissistic, unstable parent. It captures the longing for a loving, healthy relationship with the people who brought you into the world. You strive to be a good daughter, a well-oiled cog in the family machine, but sometimes that's an unattainable reality, no matter how many times you forgive someone's transgressions and believe things will be better this time.

Sometimes, you have to grieve the living and the life you thought you'd have, and that's a heart-wrenchingly difficult thing to do.

I loved this book and saw myself in every corner of it. It's comforting to feel seen, even by a woman I've never met. I am grateful for this book and its vulnerability.

Highly Recommend.

[Melissa Petit-Clerc · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don’t think I have ever read a book that made me feel like someone else knows exactly how being a daughter to an alcoholic and toxic mother feels. This was a very well written and well read audio book that expresses all the emotions, feelings and complicated experiences that I have felt myself and while the authors life story and my own might have different events that happened the feelings of never being loved, having an alcoholic mother and an enabling father and having to go no contact to protect one’s self are the same. I could not turn off this audiobook and devoured it very quickly. If you have a complicated relationship and have gone or are considering going no contact with a toxic and alcoholic mother or parents you may also appreciate the open and honest telling of this memoir.

[Leeann Hessler · Rating 5 out of 5]

Up until now, after reading/listening to this book, I’ve only ever looked up to Orenda for the captivating music she creates. Her book takes one on a very personal journey of her life. It’s intense, hopeful and magical. Here’s what I’ve said before to another group of fans and readers: “You guys… I just finished the audiobook after buying the hardback last night. I am stunned. Orenda has made her life with her art into the most beautiful thing imaginable despite all of her pain. I’m so thankful to be who I am and know all of you. The art we choose to consume together makes us all a family. We love you Orenda!”
Thank you Orenda and I can’t wait for your next book if you have more to share!

[Luc · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not impressed with her pseudo-Indigenous identity (that she takes until the last 25ish pages of the book to mention is a dearly held lie).

Not impressed with her generalizing of what a "witch" is (basically, all the stereotypes of unruly women [white] men have ever spouted out) and perpetuating those stereotypes.

Not impressed with the strangely petty/personal digs about the evangelical sister's sexuality and relationships (that happen again and again and again).

Not impressed with the erratic narrative that spends so many pages on a day and then speeds through years in a phrase.

A challenging life, absolutely, and all stories are worth being shared, but this book could have benefitted greatly for some thorough editing.

[Anna · Rating 5 out of 5]

“My mother was a different story. I had been running from her all my life. With her, there was no comfort, only a sense of danger, of death, a fear of being swallowed alive, out of existence.”

Sometimes a memoir has the power to find you across time and distance. To say me too.

“It was a feeling impossible to explain: that taking care of her would only be the end of me. And yet she is my mother, and somewhere in the recesses of memory-or is it only the desire for the memory-was tenderness and maybe even love.”


Understanding a mother with a severe mental illness is a never ending journey of tragedy. Fink’s tale of woe while relatable to many is distinctly hers.

[Kim Cotton · Rating 5 out of 5]

Page turner. It's the memoir of a musician focused on the fraught relationship with her mother and bio-family. She (the mother) identifies as a literal witch, but through therapy and reading, Fink comes to realize mom has borderline personality disorder. The armchair diagnosis explains so much, while also allowing few options to deal with the family already scarred by the impact of multi-generational mental disorder. We learn how she negotiates the tendrils of pain while she furthers her career and develops genuine relationships with a partner and found-family. Through gasp-inducing moments and heart-wrenching situations, lines of reality are blurred.

[Amy]

Yes:
A book I borrowed from the library to try before I buy (tired buying hundreds books and hating half)

I read first ch or more -first 10-100 pages skim around at times. I read many of my GR friend’s reviews. This is what I did and didn’t like:

100% yes 🙌

Ok love cool cover design love small book

Omg yes!!! I am a part of the crazy mom club. First few ch and im like Yes 🙌 I relate. My mom was so sick she committed suicide when I was 19. I could write my own book.

High ratings but not many people have read this. Idk why? The writing is very good. I want to read more!

On sale right now on Amazon buy 3/ 1 free

[Michael · Rating 5 out of 5]

Orenda Fink as a performer has an ethereal and poetic touch that, no matter the lyrical or musical style, enters the psyche as a compassionate caress. But as a memoirist, she pulls no punches, confronting deep family (and personal) truths in a way that directly involves the reader in not only reconstructing events, but also navigating complicated feelings and a circuitous path to freedom. There is an odd comfort in the bluntness of her writing, and it's a relief to know that reaching the end of the world, one way or another, means the worst is over.

[Kelly {SpaceOnTheBookcase] · Rating 5 out of 5]

In this searing memoir, Orenda Fink recounts what life was like growing up in an unstable home with a witch for a mother. Is she an actual witch? Not quite, but she does fit the characteristics of Borderline Personality Disorder or BPD. From start to finish this was really hard to put down because I could relate to Orenda's life so deeply. From her own personal relationships to how she handles her family, nothing is left out or glossed over. I really loved it.

Thank you Gallery Books for the gifted copy.

[carol degan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Orenda is an amazing musician and turns out she is a talented writer. Her story is as riveting as it is true . How she experienced such abuse and came thru it all so unscathed is a miracle! She’s sympathetic towards her mothers mental illness yet she can only take so much and makes her exit at a young age in order to persue her music. She found joy and peace in the musical group she traveled with and it’s how she met her young husband. It’s a joyful story all together and a lesson in perserverance.

[Mary Kendall · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was immediately drawn to the title of this memoir and it fully delivered on said title. A fascinating account of a mother and daughter relationship in a matrix of a dysfunctional family from generations back, it completely absorbed me. A side angle was the author's life as an indie musician and how networking in that industry (with bands I listen to) dovetailed into her story. I love the memoir genre but I also can easily been turned away from one if not done well. This passed with flying colors.

[Chloë Aalsburg · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book to be incredibly relatable as someone with a narcissistic mother. Although there were aspects of poverty and abuse in this story I didn’t experience, it was very similar to many of my experiences.

I enjoyed the authors writing style and interspersed songs in the audiobook. A touching story of sisterhood and finding yourself amid a family lorded over by someone with borderline personality disorder.

The research Orenda does to help find her way is also informative for those with similar circumstances. Definitely a good read and would suggest.