Brad the Impaler: A LitRPG Adventure

Brad the Impaler #1

by Paul Sating

"A hilarious, balls-to-the-wall, heavy-metal stake fest!"—Matt Dinniman, author of Dungeon Crawler Carl

Engage full-on warrior mode and unleash your inner hero to become the ultimate survivor!
When he accidentally opens a medieval chest that looks like it just fell off the set of Game of Thrones, Brad Wright is thrust into the wildest adventure of his life.

Welcome to Darkworld, a savage survival game where Brad and his sassy Chihuahua, Slash, think they’ve got it all figured out. Brad’s a strategy gamer, after all. Build a shelter, grow crops, forge weapons, and form alliances to escape this nightmare.

Do that and they’ll find their way out of the game in one piece.

But Darkworld’s creators have a twisted purpose. Game guides are less reliable than a rusty sword. An AI is hell-bent on breaking players. There are trolls, goblins, vampires, and worse, off-key bards. Even if Brad gets past them, he has the butchers to contend with. Sadistic people who paid to carve up players like Thanksgiving turkeys.

Brad can’t fail. Dying in the game doesn’t just mean GAME OVER. Fail, and it’s like being flushed down the metaverse’s toilet. Poof! Vanished like a glitchy NPC. What’s worse than being dead? Being erased like you never existed at all.

The rules are brutal. The stakes are high. Success is nearly impossible. Victory means more than loot and leveling up.

The ultimate game of survival will be won in a loincloth in this action-packed LitRPG adventure perfect for fans of Dungeon Crawler Carl and This Trilogy is Broken! When you start a game with nothing but a loincloth, a dog who cusses like a sailor, and only your wits, there’s only one way to go.

Genres: Fantasy, Audiobook

596 pages, Kindle Edition

Published January 16, 2024

About the author

Join Paul's newsletter and get three free stories: https://www.paulsating.com/free-books

Paul Sating is a fantasy author and podcaster who spends most of his time traveling the Pacific Northwest in search of elusive monsters everyone claims aren't real.

The creator of the Audio Fiction podcast, Paul began adapting many of those scripts to novel form and published his first three books in 2018. He is now fooling around with his first love--dark fantasy. He writes epic, urban, and even litrpg (a trust jack of all trades and master of none).

He stays grounded by rooting for bad soccer teams, traveling around his beautiful corner of the world, and spending every moment he can with the three people who don't let him think too highly of himself--his wife and daughters.

Reviews

[Tom Petersen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sanctimonious

I can not recommend this book. I could not get past 51%. I would actually give it 2 stars, but on Amazon I always give an extra star unless it's absolutely garbage.
1. Annoying dog who can speak: Never not annoying.
2. Sanctimonious MC: moralizing constantly and refuses to listen to advice that will keep him alive for no better reason than, 'not gonna do what they want me to do even if it kills me.'
3. Refuses to fight another player who is trying to kill him, until the annoying dog is threatened. Afterwards whines, even though he was not responsible for the other player's death.
4. Is a building game with some combat. At50% they have a lean to, A blanket, and 2 daggers. Wait a minute, also a wheat field.
Despite being presented as an action book there is little action, and not much building. That with the constant moralizing makes this a pass for me. Tom out
P.S. I actually agree with the stances taken by the MC, but it was just so over the top.

[Murphies_law · Rating 1 out of 5]

Glacial progress, way too much moronic banter

DNF at 49%

A rather slow pacifist ex-soldier and his loud mouthed, sex addicted chihuahua end up in a computer game. The endless stupid talk and frathouse humour, the lack of real progress and the stupidity of the characters slowly killed my motivation to read the book until i gave up..

[Stephanie Mikkelsen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brad the Impaler had action, thrills, laughs, and heart! I couldn't believe how much fun I had reading it. Even though I'm not a gamer, Paul Sating created a fantasy world that sucked me right in. The best part? Brad's foul mouthed newly talking Chihuahua!
Not only was it fun, but it was also compelling. I loved how Brad isn't playing the now real-life game like a typical gamer. He tries to play it safe only to find out that he must kill to win- not only zombies and vampires, but other players too- and if you die in the game, you are erased from reality.
This book was cleverly written and I can't wait until the second book comes out!

[Akshay · Rating 3 out of 5]

Title: Brad the Impaler: A LitRPG Adventure

Author: Paul Sating

"A humorous and action-packed LitRPG story filled with satire, unexpected twists, and a protagonist who is far from your typical hero."

Overview:

Brad the Impaler is a unique entry in the LitRPG genre that combines dark humor, satire, and the immersive elements that fans of this genre crave. The story revolves around Brad, a self-proclaimed villain with delusions of grandeur, who finds himself trapped in a virtual reality game. This isn't your usual "hero’s journey" or "save-the-world" kind of narrative, but instead, it focuses on the humorous misadventures of an anti-hero trying to make his way through a brutal and often absurd digital world.

Plot and Setting:

The story takes place in a massively multiplayer online role-playing game (MMORPG), but unlike traditional LitRPGs, the protagonist, Brad, isn't a noble warrior or a misunderstood genius. He’s Brad the Impaler, a would-be villain who struggles with basic tasks and isn’t exactly what one would call “competent.” His desire to become a powerful overlord clashes with his inability to manage simple challenges. This dynamic creates a hilarious and often chaotic plot filled with unexpected moments.

The world-building is impressive, with detailed game mechanics that follow the LitRPG format. Players level up, gain new skills, and upgrade their stats. However, Sating adds an amusing layer of satire to these mechanics. Brad is always on the lookout for ways to exploit the system, but his schemes often backfire, making for comedic set-pieces throughout.

Character Development:

Brad is an unconventional protagonist. He is selfish, cowardly, and often clueless, yet somehow likable. His growth throughout the story is less about moral redemption and more about survival and learning from his numerous blunders. Despite his flaws, he’s oddly relatable, especially in moments where he’s faced with overwhelming odds and responds in a very human (and often hilarious) way.

Strengths: Brad’s unique character, coupled with his sarcastic wit, is the highlight of the book. The secondary characters, while not as developed, serve as great foils to Brad’s personality.
Weaknesses: Some readers may find Brad's lack of moral growth or heroism off-putting, especially if they’re looking for a traditional protagonist to root for. The story leans heavily on humor, which may not resonate with everyone.

Themes and Tone:

The tone is light-hearted and comedic, though it occasionally touches on darker themes such as failure, ambition, and the absurdity of power. Paul Sating cleverly subverts traditional LitRPG tropes, making the book more of a satire on the genre itself. The humor is sharp, often relying on witty dialogue and Brad’s bumbling attempts to navigate the game world.

Writing Style:

Sating's writing is fluid, easy to follow, and filled with humor. The pacing is brisk, with enough action to keep readers engaged without overwhelming them with technical details about the game mechanics. The author strikes a good balance between the technical aspects of the RPG world and the narrative, making it accessible to both LitRPG veterans and newcomers.

Noteworthy Moments:

Brad’s encounter with a fierce boss monster: This scene highlights the comedic tone of the novel, as Brad's overconfidence quickly turns into panic when he realizes he’s outmatched.
The “villain's” monologue: One of the funniest parts of the book is Brad’s attempt at delivering a dramatic monologue, only to be interrupted by game notifications and other players.
The quest for the rare item: This subplot showcases Brad's cunning, or lack thereof, as he embarks on a side quest that goes hilariously wrong.

Final Thoughts:

Paul Sating has crafted a highly entertaining and unique LitRPG experience with Brad the Impaler. If you’re looking for a break from the typical overpowered protagonists and prefer a book that doesn’t take itself too seriously, this is a great pick. With a blend of humor, action, and a dash of satire, it’s a fun ride for fans of the genre.

Possible Spoiler: The ending leaves room for a sequel, hinting that Brad may not be as trapped in the game as he initially believes, opening the door for even more chaos in the next installment.

★★★☆☆ (3/5 stars)

Recommended for fans of LitRPGs who enjoy a humorous, light-hearted take on the genre.

[Natalie Aked · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am a Paul Sating fan and I was lucky enough to get my hands on an ARC for this title. Brad the Impaler was the perfect read for my week-long cruise.

Though the book falls into a genre that may not be in your usual reading selection, if you like realised fantasy settings, quick reading prose and humour, this could be the title for you.

Brad is one of those ‘no hope’ gamers who can’t seem to keep a relationship unless you count his relationship with his chihuahua puppy, Slash. Brad takes getting sucked into a game to new lows. With the faithful Slash at his side, he starts the new game by skipping the history. I mean, who hasn’t done that? Is the world building that important? It’s just the writers wanting to stretch their grasps on players.

But what happens when the MMORPG becomes something a bit more? What happens when the stakes include death?

Warning: the second half of this book flies by (and you might miss your dinner reservations. Make sure to set an alarm if you have anything important to do).

[Trisha · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brad and his dog, Slash, get sucked into the Darkworld after unknowingly opening an old chest. Darkworld is like a role-playing game and Brad’s strategy is sound until he finds out there are three things he must accomplish too make it to the end and he must make it to the end because death in this game is death in real life. Oh, did I mention there are also players called butchers that are there just to try and kill the player they have been assigned.
This was a great book, action packed, suspenseful, and funny. Slash is hilarious, just think chihuahua named Slash doing a cheerleader spell, but his whining howling sound can get on your nerves after a bit if doing the audio, but still it is affective the narrator was great. I really loved this book and can’t wait for more.

[Jeroen · Rating 1 out of 5]

Unfunny rip-off of Dungeon Crawler Carl.
Same theme, MC gets dumped in game world with his pet.
Pet can talk, like Donut.
MC has troubled past, like Carl.
MC lacks clothes for most part of the book, like Carl.
There's a game guide, like Mordecai.
Game world is ruled by 'evil' corporations that do not care for the survival of the players, like in DCC.
MC is soooo close to not utter the words 'You will not break me', but really wants to.

There is little world building.
The first half of the story is the MC whining, the latter half there finally is some action, but it feels bland. Stab here, dodge there, no interesting build up or back story for the evil characters that must be defeated.
It just all feels empty.

Audiobook narration is ok, except for all the dog parts, those are annoying as hell.

So the entire book feels familiar, if you've read DCC.
If you haven't read DCC, go read that instead!

[Ryan Christopher · Rating 1 out of 5]

Litrpg in name only


Lacks development on every level: no plot, terrible characters, no character development, no story, disconnected meaningless setting.

Filled with woke dialogue/descriptions/opinions: douchebag, bros, testosterone, ignorant small towns, and every woman he meets is a "bad ass". MC that's supposed to be a military, sports, gym, and civilian hero. . . but in the story only whines. the antagonist of the story pops up about halfway in a video. never appears again. just random events and monsters that MC stumbles upon. lots of complaining.

only reason I finished the book, was because I'm doing indie author book reviews. this one's really bad. a bad knockoff of a few other good litrpg series

[Nolan Kee · Rating 5 out of 5]

An absolute brilliant read. I’m not a gamer but was drawn into Darkworld along with Brad & Slash . What an adventure especially when Brad & Slash find out the game is very real for them. A talking, sarcastic and extremely funny Slash keeps one seriously entertained.
I have no doubt that Into the Pit is going to be equally entertaining.

[Amber Washer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Slow start

Started slow, I understand the need to setup the rest of the book but other than the baby vampire it felt like nothing happened in the first 100 pages. After Brad and Slash start getting into hijinks and the story gets more interesting. Slash's random comments are immature and hilarious. I want Slash to meet Donut.

[Tanya · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is such a thrilling read which will keep you hooked from the first few pages until the end. He will need to fight to get to where he needs to get to. Sit down and enjoy

[Brad · Rating 5 out of 5]

good read

Bit like a DCC clone but I liked it. Characters are okay even if Slash is annoying. The darkness is an interesting take.

[Thomas Goldsworthy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Slash and his pet Human

Fun and adventure with a 7-pound fighter who likes to wee when scared. Great time and really enjoyed the reading.

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

The TEMU version of Dungeon Crawler Carl.

[Sean · Rating 3 out of 5]

Revised my original 4* down to 3* after trying to articulate to a friend what I thought of this book.

I liked it, and will read more. The main character and his dog are appealing and fun to follow, although highly reminiscent of Carl and Donut (the author at least admits to picking that author's brain, so I'm not going to fault him for it either). The game world is completely lame at this point, to the point that it is almost annoying how bland it is. Aside from the seemingly required snarky "system" there is no life to it except for the guide, Fortune. I really like her, and it is clear there is going to be more content involving her in the future, but if I take just what is present in this book...meh.

I like Brad. I like Slash. I like the fact that Judas Priest was a foundational part of Slash growing up. I like the Easter eggs in the chapter titles. But I am bored with the game world and mechanics, and Brad railing against them to no effect. I feel his despair and his anger at being told almost nothing about what to expect, because I feel despair about not knowing anything either. It is fine to keep the reader and characters in the dark, but something has to be exciting, otherwise it is just boring and why would I keep reading? So far, my reason to keep reading are the characters, but eventually I'll give up on them too if nothing interesting happens. And when I say interesting, I don't mean completing quests and building shelters and such. I mean learning about the world and the reason for it. The inspiration, Dungeon Crawler Carl, at least has a pretty solid bit of world-building to back everything up. This is sort of like someone never played a computer rpg and was just told how it works and made up literally the most generic system ever.

And finally, the tipping point for me deducting a point is the lack of consistency in Brad's backstory (was he a pitcher and a quarterback in school, or was he bullied until senior year?? usually it isn't both) and the author's need to use him to pontificate upon societal "problems". I don't care. Keep your politics to yourself. I read books like this to escape, not hear about things that I see every day in the real world and that you think somehow your litrpg book is going to suddenly make a difference. It isn't. The only difference would be that I stop reading because eventually I can't stand the injection of opinions where they are unwanted and unnecessary.

[Nika R · Rating 3 out of 5]

A book that has an interesting sense of humor that is hampered by slow pacing and one of the most painful listens audible has to offer. If the summary interests you, do yourself a favor and read this book, not listen to it. The narration makes the already annoying Slash into an almost unbearable part of the story. And Slash does offer something to the story, but it definitely takes about halfway into the book before it becomes visible.

This book is very similar Dungeon Crawler Carl, but only in the overall setting, rather than actual narration. Where Carl runs close to the feeling of a TTRPG like Dungeons and Dragons, this leans closer to a survival game with a vague sense of progression that doesn't solidify until the last third or quarter of the story.

As far as action goes, only a small portion of this book has any encounters while the rest of the book features only passive environmental dangers like exposure and starvation.

That all said, as a (low-crafting) survival book, this does much better than it does as the DCC-esque that it was advertised as.

[Cmoore · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is a really slow starter... yawn. And I mean it's really really slow, yawn again... I had my job cut out for me to actually finish the book. I'm not sure when I got to the point where I stopped hating on the Chihuahua but I know that I was over half way done and that's where I finally realized that I was hooked on the book. Usually the inclusion of an amazing animal or beast makes the book all the more endearing, but that was not in the case when it came to Slash the talking chihuahua. For me I just found him annoying and wanted to slap him around. Anyway as soon as I stopped hating on him like said the book really picked up. And I discovered myself admiring Slash as a character in the book... Brad finally found a companion and even though they weren't able to quest together, game rules (don't ask, buy the book) they've learned that they could trust each other.
So if you have the patience of Job go ahead and grab the book.

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

Audiobook: I was entertained by this story. Brad Wright and his dog, Slash, were catapulted into a survival game where the stakes were life or death. While in the game, Brad found out that if he lost his life in the game, his whole existence would be wiped out, and it would be like he never existed. I liked that the format was based on a role-playing game complete with stats and level ups and downs. I enjoyed all the different fantastical creatures that populated the tale. I was amused by some of the dialogue and situations. I appreciated the twists and turns. I was intrigued by the complexities of the character of Brad. Will Collyer's narration was fantastic, and his performance added to the story's entertainment. I was given a free copy of the audiobook, and I have voluntarily posted this review.

[Charles L · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brad the Impaler brings a different spin to fantasy genre where Brad a consummate gamer and his dog, Slash, are wept into a real live video game where he is forced to compete in the game or die. The consequence of dying is that he and all his relative would be removed from the annals of history, so he is not only fighting for himself but for all his relations. The one upside is that is dog can now speak and does not hesitate to express his opinions as he tries to hook Brad up with every available female but every word out of his mouth act as the ultimate cock blocker. They, however, make a good team as they rally together to survive the game.
This is a delightful book and I highly recommend it.

[Ry · Rating 3 out of 5]

not the best

This book in my opinion had the potential to be really good, but for me it just wasn’t. It really felt like someone was trying to imitate another amazing LitRpg series, specifically the one with a guy named Carl as the MC and his pet cat Donut. The pacing in this book is just wretched. The other thing that I wish the author thought more about is that this is supposed to be LitRpg, you did that cool bit with the cell phone conversation with Brads Ex in the beginning but you can’t even throw a status window or anything like that up for the entire book man? I dunno, I gave it 3 stars out of pity and hopes for a much much much much better and more polished second book. This is legitimately a 2 star failed copy of the other popular LitRpg series I mentioned.

[Mark V · Rating 2 out of 5]

Irritating book, not worth the time, too bad too, I was all in at the start.

It feels like the author keeps forgetting things he wrote earlier in the book. Outright contradicting earlier game mechanics, or Brad comes to a realisation about something he was told very clearly. Even the AI that told him these things doesn't react when he points out these things to her. The dog's reasoning doesn't seem to be the same from one moment to another.

[William Newbury · Rating 5 out of 5]

Entertaining

I liked the book so far. The characters were entertaining. Like always the dog character was hilarious. The vampire setting was cool. Though entertaining I think they just around from farming to the objectives very quickly and Brad keeps changing. Like he went from not wanting to fight to fighting very quickly. What happened to the garlic bomb? Not perfect but fun!

[Jim Gutzwiller · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brad the Impaler

Hmm, it was an entertaining first book into the Darkworld Brad could have been more aggressive, but looks like he has some PTSD issues to resolve. Also to high a morality score.
Loved Slash in there, too. Should be enjoyable next chapter.

Already pre ordered.

[Steve Filson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very interesting read (Loved Slash ) imagine if you will a box out of nowhere calling you to open it ...would you ?? He did and WOW..I am an Honest ARC reviewer this was one of those unexpected treasures that after the initial set-up was a really good read. can't wait for book 2

[Kevin Rowlands · Rating 5 out of 5]

My first read of this genre and I'm hooked. Brad and Slash the 7 lb chihuahua with small dog big attitude foul mouth awesomeness take a thrill ride through Darkworld. I may have to take up gaming. Well done Paul Sating !

[H.M. · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was okay

I didn’t like how vulgar it was. The first half of the book was really slow, and I almost stopped reading. The second half was better because the character actually made progress with things he needed to do.

[Aaron Eichler · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nothing gets between a man and his dog

This book was amazing and reminded me of Dungeon Crawler Carl, which made sense because this author talked to Matt before writing it. It is amazingly funny, and it shows that a man can care about others even when his life is on the line.

[Greg Webb · Rating 1 out of 5]

Is any part of this *not* a ripoff of DCC?

[Jack Miller · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great story and some of the best similes I’ve ever read!

[Carson · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was good. Not the best thing I've read but it was fun. His companion is a pretty accurate depiction of a chihuahua.