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I'd Rather Not
An endlessly entertaining collection of wayward autobiographical tales about a search for a richer life thwarted at every turn by beagles, bureaucrats, and ill-advised love affairs
The unlikely story of how a failed dishwasher, tour guide, cabinet maker, bus driver, bookseller and literary journal publisher became one of Australia's hottest humor essayists.
This wryly subversive book of adventures (and misadventures) offers an original and utterly hilarious take on work, escape, and that something more we all need.
Robert Skinner arrives in the city, searching for a richer life. Things begin badly and then, surprisingly, get slightly worse. Pretty soon he's sleeping rough and trying to run a literary magazine out of a dog park. His quest for meaning keeps being thwarted, by gainful employment, house parties, ill-advised love affairs, camel trips, and bureaucratic entanglements.
The book's 14 essays/stories can be savored one at a time, or binge read.
Robert's distinctive voice possesses uncommon immediacy, at once humorous and soulful, self-effacing and wise. Perhaps most important of all, he is endlessly entertaining.
2 hrs. 58 min.
The unlikely story of how a failed dishwasher, tour guide, cabinet maker, bus driver, bookseller and literary journal publisher became one of Australia's hottest humor essayists.
This wryly subversive book of adventures (and misadventures) offers an original and utterly hilarious take on work, escape, and that something more we all need.
Robert Skinner arrives in the city, searching for a richer life. Things begin badly and then, surprisingly, get slightly worse. Pretty soon he's sleeping rough and trying to run a literary magazine out of a dog park. His quest for meaning keeps being thwarted, by gainful employment, house parties, ill-advised love affairs, camel trips, and bureaucratic entanglements.
The book's 14 essays/stories can be savored one at a time, or binge read.
Robert's distinctive voice possesses uncommon immediacy, at once humorous and soulful, self-effacing and wise. Perhaps most important of all, he is endlessly entertaining.
2 hrs. 58 min.
166 pages, Paperback
First published July 1, 2023
50 people are currently reading
1089 people want to read
About the author
Robert Skinner
3 books8 followersRobert Skinner is the editor of the short story magazine The Canary
Press. He lives without a dog in Melbourne.
Press. He lives without a dog in Melbourne.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 174 reviews
December 7, 2023
3.5~4★
“I retired when I was twenty-eight years old, but ran out of money the same afternoon, so I caught a bus to the dole office. My feeling about unemployment was: Someone’s gotta do it. Why not me? The pay was lousy, but I’d heard the hours were good.”
This is the opening of the first essay and a good example of the conversational style of most of the pieces. Each is like reading a letter from an old friend, or perhaps the friend of a friend about whom you’ve heard many anecdotes. You just know he’s done something wrong, brought the wrath of someone down on himself, and is trying to win you over to his side with self-deprecating charm.
I have to admit, he’s pretty good at it. The title of the opening essay is “War and Peace”, because he’d promised himself he was going to read it before he found work. Relax a little, take in the sights.
So off he went to Centrelink, ‘the dole office’, to apply for Newstart, the Australian support payment for the unemployed, or jobseekers, while they are looking for “a new start” in life. Both the program and the name have gone through countless iterations, but all have required variations on the theme of proving you’re actively applying for jobs.
“‘Whoa,’ I said. ‘This isn’t the kind of Newstart I had in mind at all.’
I had only just moved to Melbourne. It was a place filled with magic and possibility. I wanted to meet interesting people at rooftop bars. I wanted to read Russian novels. What I didn’t want was a pesky job, but try telling that to your dole officer.”
The subjects and topics vary as much as his jobs and activities, which gives him a lot of choice.
He agrees to go with his parents on a ten-day trek with camels in the Flinders Ranges in South Australia. Sure, why not? As he’s on his way to meet them, his father rings him with a shopping request, and they chat.
“I asked how far we’d be riding all up. There was a moment’s silence.
‘We’re not riding, mate. They’re wagon camels.’
We would be walking, said my dad. Next to the camels, and for 25 kilometres a day. He paused.
‘You have been training, haven’t you?’
I said yes, in the sense that I’d managed to keep my legs in pretty much mint/unused condition. I started to panic.
‘I thought I was supposed to be practising sitting down.’”
He did get through the trek as well as other miscalculated adventures, as I think of them. Hitchhiking with a group of dodgy people was a particularly bad idea.
One good idea, but one that was probably destined to eventually fall through the cracks was when he and friends founded a literary magazine. Like all literary magazines, it took a lot of work, dedication, and promotion. Like many, it stumbled along and finally folded, but it was obviously successful enough that many years later, he was invited by a university to speak about ‘How to Make It in Business’
“I was one of three speakers. We were speaking to an auditorium of about a hundred high-school graduates, all of them prospective arts students, and we were meant to persuade them to take up an education in the arts. I did some rough calculations. If we succeeded in convincing all of them, then Melbourne University stood to make about $4 million in revenue. We, the speakers, weren’t being paid anything. It was a Ponzi scheme alright, but we weren’t at the top.”
It really is a Ponzi scheme, isn’t it?
He enjoyed at least pretending to be at the top in “Stopover”, where he spent a wonderful time imagining being wealthy as he mingled with other travellers during a 12-hour stopover in Singapore. He power-walked through the airport, because, as he says “If you want to look accomplished, that’s how you do it.”
I remember the feeling well from past travels alone. You can be anybody in a big airport, particularly an international one. Nobody knows where you came from or where you’re going.
[Pro tip: I have a friend who says she always wears professional outfits when flying, because when they bump people up to business or first class (if they need more seats in cattle class), they choose people who look like they belong there.]
He writes about the pandemic, about a running feud with the government about a supposed debt he owed, and about “The Art of Tour Guiding”, probably my favourite section, because I know someone who’s done this. Some of his tricks for dealing with the mixed bunch of tourists every driver-guide is faced with are very funny – and a good idea.
He can be philosophical and poetic when he dares to stop being funny.
“The last hour before sundown is a beautiful time in the outback, Uluru or no. A sudden aching softness comes to a landscape that just five minutes ago seemed barren and unrelenting. I always felt beers were important at a time like this because you wanted everyone to slow down for what was going on. You could tell the nondrinkers because they were impatient for something to happen, when in fact it was happening all around them: breezes stirring the desert oaks, lizards emerging from clumps of spinifex, colours changing and the whole sky deepening into night.”
I started reading this straight through but was interrupted. When I went back to it, I realised I would enjoy them more individually, very much as if I were getting a letter from a friend, one at a time. It’s much more entertaining that way. I could see these as columns in newspapers or magazines. I don’t know if he’s tried that job yet.
Thanks to #NetGalley and Steerforth Press for the preview copy of #IdRatherNot from which I’ve quoted.
“I retired when I was twenty-eight years old, but ran out of money the same afternoon, so I caught a bus to the dole office. My feeling about unemployment was: Someone’s gotta do it. Why not me? The pay was lousy, but I’d heard the hours were good.”
This is the opening of the first essay and a good example of the conversational style of most of the pieces. Each is like reading a letter from an old friend, or perhaps the friend of a friend about whom you’ve heard many anecdotes. You just know he’s done something wrong, brought the wrath of someone down on himself, and is trying to win you over to his side with self-deprecating charm.
I have to admit, he’s pretty good at it. The title of the opening essay is “War and Peace”, because he’d promised himself he was going to read it before he found work. Relax a little, take in the sights.
So off he went to Centrelink, ‘the dole office’, to apply for Newstart, the Australian support payment for the unemployed, or jobseekers, while they are looking for “a new start” in life. Both the program and the name have gone through countless iterations, but all have required variations on the theme of proving you’re actively applying for jobs.
“‘Whoa,’ I said. ‘This isn’t the kind of Newstart I had in mind at all.’
I had only just moved to Melbourne. It was a place filled with magic and possibility. I wanted to meet interesting people at rooftop bars. I wanted to read Russian novels. What I didn’t want was a pesky job, but try telling that to your dole officer.”
The subjects and topics vary as much as his jobs and activities, which gives him a lot of choice.
He agrees to go with his parents on a ten-day trek with camels in the Flinders Ranges in South Australia. Sure, why not? As he’s on his way to meet them, his father rings him with a shopping request, and they chat.
“I asked how far we’d be riding all up. There was a moment’s silence.
‘We’re not riding, mate. They’re wagon camels.’
We would be walking, said my dad. Next to the camels, and for 25 kilometres a day. He paused.
‘You have been training, haven’t you?’
I said yes, in the sense that I’d managed to keep my legs in pretty much mint/unused condition. I started to panic.
‘I thought I was supposed to be practising sitting down.’”
He did get through the trek as well as other miscalculated adventures, as I think of them. Hitchhiking with a group of dodgy people was a particularly bad idea.
One good idea, but one that was probably destined to eventually fall through the cracks was when he and friends founded a literary magazine. Like all literary magazines, it took a lot of work, dedication, and promotion. Like many, it stumbled along and finally folded, but it was obviously successful enough that many years later, he was invited by a university to speak about ‘How to Make It in Business’
“I was one of three speakers. We were speaking to an auditorium of about a hundred high-school graduates, all of them prospective arts students, and we were meant to persuade them to take up an education in the arts. I did some rough calculations. If we succeeded in convincing all of them, then Melbourne University stood to make about $4 million in revenue. We, the speakers, weren’t being paid anything. It was a Ponzi scheme alright, but we weren’t at the top.”
It really is a Ponzi scheme, isn’t it?
He enjoyed at least pretending to be at the top in “Stopover”, where he spent a wonderful time imagining being wealthy as he mingled with other travellers during a 12-hour stopover in Singapore. He power-walked through the airport, because, as he says “If you want to look accomplished, that’s how you do it.”
I remember the feeling well from past travels alone. You can be anybody in a big airport, particularly an international one. Nobody knows where you came from or where you’re going.
[Pro tip: I have a friend who says she always wears professional outfits when flying, because when they bump people up to business or first class (if they need more seats in cattle class), they choose people who look like they belong there.]
He writes about the pandemic, about a running feud with the government about a supposed debt he owed, and about “The Art of Tour Guiding”, probably my favourite section, because I know someone who’s done this. Some of his tricks for dealing with the mixed bunch of tourists every driver-guide is faced with are very funny – and a good idea.
He can be philosophical and poetic when he dares to stop being funny.
“The last hour before sundown is a beautiful time in the outback, Uluru or no. A sudden aching softness comes to a landscape that just five minutes ago seemed barren and unrelenting. I always felt beers were important at a time like this because you wanted everyone to slow down for what was going on. You could tell the nondrinkers because they were impatient for something to happen, when in fact it was happening all around them: breezes stirring the desert oaks, lizards emerging from clumps of spinifex, colours changing and the whole sky deepening into night.”
I started reading this straight through but was interrupted. When I went back to it, I realised I would enjoy them more individually, very much as if I were getting a letter from a friend, one at a time. It’s much more entertaining that way. I could see these as columns in newspapers or magazines. I don’t know if he’s tried that job yet.
Thanks to #NetGalley and Steerforth Press for the preview copy of #IdRatherNot from which I’ve quoted.
September 11, 2023
3.5 because as previously stated, Goodreads needs a half star rating system factored in.
This was the literary equivalent of the FoaF you meet at a party, full of interesting anecdotes, but that’s where your relationship ends. Robert Skinner takes us through his homelessness (yes, that can be funny, but only because he describes it so), the passion for starting the literary magazine The Canary Press, cars, jobs he has had, hitchhiking, the Melbourne lockdown(s), and camel trekking. It’s a mixed bag, and was bought on the strength of Annabelle Crabb’s ‘An absolute bag of lollies’ endorsement on the front. And it is a bag of lollies, a big assortment of Mackintosh’s Toffees, the type that my late Nana always had in her apron pocket, although some stories are the Toffee deLuxe, and some are the coconut, with the majority being Harrogate or mint. Still, I LOLed at a few of the stories, and it filled the time being immobile (or: meant to be immobile) on a frankle. Also codeine may have affected my judgement.
This was the literary equivalent of the FoaF you meet at a party, full of interesting anecdotes, but that’s where your relationship ends. Robert Skinner takes us through his homelessness (yes, that can be funny, but only because he describes it so), the passion for starting the literary magazine The Canary Press, cars, jobs he has had, hitchhiking, the Melbourne lockdown(s), and camel trekking. It’s a mixed bag, and was bought on the strength of Annabelle Crabb’s ‘An absolute bag of lollies’ endorsement on the front. And it is a bag of lollies, a big assortment of Mackintosh’s Toffees, the type that my late Nana always had in her apron pocket, although some stories are the Toffee deLuxe, and some are the coconut, with the majority being Harrogate or mint. Still, I LOLed at a few of the stories, and it filled the time being immobile (or: meant to be immobile) on a frankle. Also codeine may have affected my judgement.
May 22, 2023
What delightful company Robert Skinner’s memoir in episodic essays turned out to be. Cheering for Skinner against a curious beagle, Robodebt nightmares, demanding bookshop customers and hitchiking gone very wrong was joyful. His wit and humour sit lightly on the page, his trials and tribulations gently unravel, he’s very good at delivering funny and disarming sentences. He’s charming like Sedaris used to be while being clever and witty like Crosley always is. Delightful. I’m delighted.
August 6, 2023
I’m going to be completely honest - I only started reading this book because it had a monkey on the cover. And it ended up being one of my favourite books of the year.
Annabel Crabb’s description is perfect. This book is a packet of Allen’s lollies with a sweet and chewy nibble in there for everyone.
Annabel Crabb’s description is perfect. This book is a packet of Allen’s lollies with a sweet and chewy nibble in there for everyone.
June 9, 2025
I picked this up completely by chance and I'm so glad that I did! I've never heard of Robert Skinner, but this book was absolutely hilarious, and so short that I almost want to read it all over again! In fact, I think I might. While there wasn't exactly a long, cohesive story, the adventures included in this book were incredibly entertaining and I sincerely hope that this author continues writing!
Update June 24, 2024: I did read it again.
Update July 2, 2024: Third time's a charm (and the audiobook is EXCELLENT!)
Update June 24, 2024: I did read it again.
Update July 2, 2024: Third time's a charm (and the audiobook is EXCELLENT!)
July 13, 2023
I am all for living a non-traditional life but this was swollen with privilege and inflated ego. The occasional anti-masking sentiment was a nice little cherry on top.
Supposedly funny but I personally found it to come off a little tone deaf.
Supposedly funny but I personally found it to come off a little tone deaf.
July 9, 2023
3.5 stars. A great read when you need a laugh, in a thought provoking way.
“I retired when I was 28 years old and ran out of money the same afternoon”
So starts a laugh out loud set of stories by a guy whose attempt to be a literary artist on his own terms is failing on all fronts.
Robert Skinner is like that friend from school or uni who was the life of the party and hilarious in a Douglas Adams kind of way until we all got serious jobs and then found him annoying with all his talk of industrial complexes and selling out.
Until we realised he was right and we were stuck in the great Ponzi Scheme of life, as he would put it.
Robert has spent the last decade or so looking for his purpose. The thing is it’s obvious to me where meaning lies for him (the freedom of the great outdoors) and I want to yell “stay away!” Each time he heads back to the city.
A laugh out loud funny book of well-written short stories perfect for that time when the world seems a bit weird and you need to laugh at it thoughtfully for a while.
Thanks to Black Inc books for this review copy ahead of its 4 July release.
“I retired when I was 28 years old and ran out of money the same afternoon”
So starts a laugh out loud set of stories by a guy whose attempt to be a literary artist on his own terms is failing on all fronts.
Robert Skinner is like that friend from school or uni who was the life of the party and hilarious in a Douglas Adams kind of way until we all got serious jobs and then found him annoying with all his talk of industrial complexes and selling out.
Until we realised he was right and we were stuck in the great Ponzi Scheme of life, as he would put it.
Robert has spent the last decade or so looking for his purpose. The thing is it’s obvious to me where meaning lies for him (the freedom of the great outdoors) and I want to yell “stay away!” Each time he heads back to the city.
A laugh out loud funny book of well-written short stories perfect for that time when the world seems a bit weird and you need to laugh at it thoughtfully for a while.
Thanks to Black Inc books for this review copy ahead of its 4 July release.
July 14, 2025
3.5 / Tales of misadventure, the struggle of finding place and purpose, and the in between moments of where to next. Stubborn remnants of Robodebt, call centres and Covid lockdowns, gave me a few laughs and it was an enjoyable short read.
I’m left with the overall impression of Robert Skinner, the man who has not yet found his superpower but is still willing to get out there and pushing himself to write about it on the way.
Below is my favourite
“This is the persistent dream of dilettantes: that we will, at some point, uncover a superpower that will make sense of our lives filled with false starts, failures and endless dabbling.”
3.5 ⭐️ eBook
I’m left with the overall impression of Robert Skinner, the man who has not yet found his superpower but is still willing to get out there and pushing himself to write about it on the way.
Below is my favourite
“This is the persistent dream of dilettantes: that we will, at some point, uncover a superpower that will make sense of our lives filled with false starts, failures and endless dabbling.”
3.5 ⭐️ eBook
January 9, 2024
This is a pretty short audiobook but so much fun. Young Aussie bloke dealing with the foibles of life in a very young Aussie bloke way and he's a writer who loves writing.
He's does some fun things that have a variety of outcomes. Drives German tourists around the South Australian Outback all the way to Uluru, Wrestles with Centerlink over the robodebt outrageous miscalculations, Hitchhiking and homelessness and a writing trip to Hanoi, not to mention anecdotes about his loving parents. Loved it.
He's does some fun things that have a variety of outcomes. Drives German tourists around the South Australian Outback all the way to Uluru, Wrestles with Centerlink over the robodebt outrageous miscalculations, Hitchhiking and homelessness and a writing trip to Hanoi, not to mention anecdotes about his loving parents. Loved it.
April 26, 2024
Skinner has the style of an Antipodean David Sedaris, creating comedy that's cuttingly clever. May his contempt for call centres be ever consecrated.
June 5, 2024
This is a delightfully short book of autobiographical essays filled with humor. The author is Australian so most locations mentioned were lost on me. Exaggeration is used most often to make the humor, but in the end not sure what the purpose of the collection. Perhaps since he was part of a group that ran a short story magazine for a while, the only one in Australia.
It could be a good breather book in between long serious ones. I really was in the mood for something short, didn't know how quick that would go. The author said the first thing he was happy about the book was the length and I would agree with that. Probably a book better read via audio instead of print like I did.
It could be a good breather book in between long serious ones. I really was in the mood for something short, didn't know how quick that would go. The author said the first thing he was happy about the book was the length and I would agree with that. Probably a book better read via audio instead of print like I did.
January 20, 2025
Book of random humorous Australian anecdotes from some guy. Not bad.
June 4, 2025
Reminded me of my ex-boyfriend’s brother. I didn’t really like him that much. There were some chapters in this I really enjoyed, ones that made me laugh or smile. But others fell short *cough robodebt cough*. Sometimes I feel adults just need to be… adults?
[A]
[A]
December 20, 2023
Hilarious. Highly recommend audio for this.
August 13, 2025
A collection of humorous sketches, highlighting a bunch of various skills and jobs, ranging from
tour guide (Australia), fisherman, DIY car repair, book store clerk, and publisher of a magazine.
Said to be the Australian David Sedaris. Hasn't quite found his niche in the work-a-day world, but is quite funny in his searching. A memoir of sorts; entertaining.
tour guide (Australia), fisherman, DIY car repair, book store clerk, and publisher of a magazine.
Said to be the Australian David Sedaris. Hasn't quite found his niche in the work-a-day world, but is quite funny in his searching. A memoir of sorts; entertaining.
July 25, 2024
“Endlessly entertaining” as described in the book’s blurb, this is not. I didn’t laugh out loud a single time; in fact, I thought the author was annoying and made me cringe a few times. There was little to none connection between the anecdotes and stories he told.
I couldn’t finish the 3 hours of audio within 2 weeks (because it was boring so I chose to listen to music/podcasts instead), so when the library reclaimed the book, I didn’t even consider taking it out again to finish the last half hour. Not for me, I suppose.
I couldn’t finish the 3 hours of audio within 2 weeks (because it was boring so I chose to listen to music/podcasts instead), so when the library reclaimed the book, I didn’t even consider taking it out again to finish the last half hour. Not for me, I suppose.
June 27, 2024
Giggled a couple times. It was fine at best.
August 17, 2023
I can't remember who recommended this book, I do remember hearing about it in a podcast while driving to work, and immediately putting it on hold at the library when I parked the car. Gotta love a library that has its own app. Needless to say I had to wait for the book (damn you other library patrons for putting it on hold for me). Then when the text message arrived to say it was my turn to read it - the whole book was a surprise.
Its a book of short stories. You'd probably not believe some of them to be true, except the book is filed in the 828 dewey decimal category meaning its supposed to be autobiographical so I guess they must be true. Perhaps the author has the knack of being able to twist a story and find the humour in it. I am sure I either laughed out loud or twittered humously in every section. It reminded me of "He Died With A Felafel" in His Hands but without so many drug references. It was an easy quick read after a series of weighty tomes - either in the number of pages or the subject matter.
Its a book of short stories. You'd probably not believe some of them to be true, except the book is filed in the 828 dewey decimal category meaning its supposed to be autobiographical so I guess they must be true. Perhaps the author has the knack of being able to twist a story and find the humour in it. I am sure I either laughed out loud or twittered humously in every section. It reminded me of "He Died With A Felafel" in His Hands but without so many drug references. It was an easy quick read after a series of weighty tomes - either in the number of pages or the subject matter.
June 21, 2024
Robert Skinner channels Herman Melville’s Bartleby, the scrivener of Wall Street who ‘would prefer not to’ participate in the world of unending boring work for little return that is inherent in capitalism. Commenting on the ills of our current society from restricting access to ‘Newstart’ unemployment benefit to ensure everyone is busy - no matter how inane or dangerous the work - to Robodebt, Skinner’s book is laugh out loud funny. Even more so if you’ve read Bartleby, been on a camel trek, toured central Australia and survived the pandemic. Like Melville, Skinner highlights the difficulties of choosing the life of a writer in the commercial cutthroat business of publishing. Recommended.
September 1, 2023
The beginning of the book had promise and a great opening line, but unfortunately it fell flat for me. I didn't see the humor and whilst the stories weren't generally connected I feel that they needed more depth to stand on their own.
October 4, 2024
I found this book funny but a bit annoying. The main character just seems to complain and while it has a dark sense of humour, I didn’t find it that witty. But still a fun little read if you’re bored.
September 27, 2023
Laugh aloud funny. Loved it
Read
November 14, 2023Enjoyable bon mots of a boyish kind. Everything is funny and sad - running a literary journal, going on a camel trek, hitchhiking, fishing, homelessness and the cruel disaster that was robo-debt. It only took a few hours to read. I wouldn't call it wasted time.
November 15, 2023
Funny, silly, dry humour (my favourite!) this was a quick, easy read with some laughs out loud
December 26, 2023
Cracker of a book. A life this well lived doesn't need good writing to make for a hilarious read, but Skinner provides it anyway
March 1, 2024
What a fun read! The hilarious misadventures are sure to brighten your day.
May 3, 2024
The most I've ever related to a book - very funny and super easy to digest
June 16, 2024
I could not put the book down.
August 3, 2024
I laughed out loud so often that my brother had to text me to stop watching TikTok so.. 🫶
November 11, 2024
SO much fun
Displaying 1 - 30 of 174 reviews