Good Christians, Good Husbands?: Leaving a Legacy in Marriage and Ministry

by Doreen Moore

This is the inspiring and convicting account of three eighteenth-century Christian leaders (John Wesley, George Whitfield & Jonathan Edwards), all of whom were passionate about glorifying God by serving Him in their generation. They left an enduring and fruitful legacy through their labors and they were also married. How they balanced (or did not balance) their passion for ministry with being married is the subject of this book. This book tells more than just the story of three couples it gives us contemporary lessons too, offering Biblical guidelines and counsel from modern day Christian leaders. Many couples today struggle with how God views the relationship between family and ministry. This book gleans insights from these examples and gives biblical guidelines and counsel from some modern day Christian leaders too. What is the legacy you are leaving in your marriage and ministry? Do you want the answers to these questions: Which comes first? Family or public ministry? What happens if a wife senses God's leading in a different direction to her husband? What are the Biblical responsibilities of a husband and father? A wife's response to difficulties in ministry? How should a godly man treat women other than his wife?

Genres: Marriage, History, Biography, Nonfiction, Christianity

179 pages, Paperback

First published May 1, 2004

Reviews

[Bob Oswald · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is such an important topic for today.

[Gary Thomas · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'd like to see every young pastor read this book (FYI, though it's written by a woman, it assumes the pastor is male). Dorreen Moore reviews the marriages of Whitefield, Wesley and Edwards with candor, honesty and insight, drawing admirable conclusions about how to balance ministry and marriage demands. I'm going to be taking a group of young men through this right away.

[Dennis Thurman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent. Filled with insights that can make a big difference in the marriage of a minister.

[Peter Parslow · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was interesting to read a slightly different angle on some of the Christian 'heroes' of the past - looking at how their marriages related to their ministries. The book focuses on John Wesley, George Whitfield, and Jonathan Edwards - but it starts with briefer looks at a number of others from that period (1700s) and a bit earlier, and in the conclusion also covers quite a few more recent people, up to Billy Graham.

I can't help thinking that the author selected the people to illustrate the points she wanted to make. Of course it's a book about marriage, not about "ministry", but I think it would have been good to question & discuss how relevant the mode of ministry of these men is to us now. 21st century Britain is very different from 18th century Britain & US - different physically, socially, technologically. Even Billy Graham's own writing (quoted in the book) questions whether an evangelist in the 21st century would need to travel & be away from his family as much as Billy Graham was in the mid 20th century - let alone as much as Wesley & Whitfield were earlier. So, it's a missed opportunity to have hardly any discussion of to what extent Whitfield's marrige benefitted from his less itinerant ministry.

Oh, and there was a new word for me in this book "itinerating"; used in a way that suggests that in the author's experience, it's actually in common use.

[Dogeared Wanderer · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a sobering and encouraging book. The lives and marriages of these men accurately summarize three types of pastors still seen today and show that a pastor's ministry and message matters practically.

🌹John Wesley prioritized his ministry to the neglect of his wife. He displayed moments of hypocrisy throughout his life as he attempted to justify a lack of love for her with zeal for the Lord.

🌹George Whitefield joined marriage and ministry through partnership with a woman who met the qualifications of serving alongside him as helper. But there was no romantic affection and they had no children, though there was a mutual respect and desire to serve God together.

🌹Jonathan Edwards performed both marriage and ministry with the mindset that these are two great pictures of God's relationship with us. Though his marriage wasn't perfect (and none are), he prioritized his wife as his first love after Jesus, and she thrived as homemaker and pastor's wife.

[Peter Dray · Rating 4 out of 5]

A short and helpful guide to all those who are committed to the work of public Christian ministry - especially men. Doreen Moore considers how this calling sits alongside the calling to be a husband and a father. She helps us learn from the bad example of Wesley's marriage (which was clearly dysfunctional). Whitefield's marriage was happier but it is clearly the marriage of Jonathan and Sarah Edwards that was the most God-honouring.

A helpful prompt for married Christian ministers to recheck their priorities, and a helpful guide to unmarried people in ministry to consider how they might one day marry well.

[Stacia · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book covers the marriage and the theology between how to balance ministry and marriage for John Wesley, George Whitefield, and Jonathon Edwards. The first three chapters cover one of the individuals and the forth is her analysis. I enjoyed the book and thought it was helpful to think through the topic.

[Cole Brandon · Rating 4 out of 5]

A needed correction against the radical missiology which sacrifices family for ministry.

[Luke · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lovely book with an important message. A quick read which gives us examples to emulate and to be wary of.

[Daniel Gonzalez · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was different in its approach about marriage and ministry, which in my opinion makes it interesting. It’s biblically balanced and accurate. Every married christian would benefit from it.

[Nathanael Ayling · Rating 4 out of 5]

lessons from the marriages of John Wesley, George Whitefield and Jonathan Edwards. Their marriages ranged from terrible to mediocre to amazing. This book looks at each man and his view of ministry, his view of marriage and the relationship between the two, drawing 13 lessons in conclusion:

1. Being in ministry is hard work!
2. It is possible that family concerns can be given too much priority
3. Singleness is a gift and strategic for building up the Kingdom of God
4. If one does marry, one should choose wisely
5. Marriage and family are also gifts from God and strategic for building up the Kingdom of God
6. Husbands have biblical responsibilities to fulfil
7. Fathers have biblical responsibilities to fulfil
8. A wife's reticence does not necessarily mean one should not be in the ministry
9. A note to wives - no matter what your situation, place your hope in God and do what is right in God's eyes
10. An individual in the ministry must be circumspect in how he treats women other than his wife
11. There is always time to do what God requires
12. Motives count because God sees the heart
13. The bottom line is obedience to God's commands

A lot of this material seems intended for husbands who are in ministry, but as with many things would also apply to any husband, only more so.

In some ways, I think its a shame the author is a woman, as it is mainly addressing men. But then again, it speaks on behalf of neglected wives, a plea to Christian husbands to be good husbands, not sacrificing their family on the altar of 'the ministry'.

[John · Rating 4 out of 5]

Moore tells three stories in this book, stories about the marriages of John Wesley, George Whitfield, and Jonathan Edwards. In doing so, she seeks to learn about the combination of marriage and ministry, and how they can best work in tandem for those in similar situations. Clearly Moore has spent a great deal of time in the primary texts, and as such her presentation is rich and nuanced. Each chapter is compelling in its own way: Wesley for the inherent contradiction between his words about marriage and the result of his own marriage, Whitfield for the success of his marriage despite a circumstance that seemed stacked against him, and Edwards for his unyielding commitment to both his family and his ministry. Moore ties the book up with several lessons for couples in ministry, though most of the lessons could easily be applied in any marital circumstance. Moore understands the importance of a good marriage to a good ministry (and vice versa), and her advice to contemporary readers is straightforward and valuable.

[Ivan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent little book that deserves more attention, drawing lessons from the marriages and ministries of three eighteenth-century individuals whom God greatly used in their generation: Elizabeth and George Whitefield, Sarah and Jonathan Edwards, and Molly and John Wesley. One had a horrible marriage, another a good one, and another a great one.

Dr. Michael Haykin, one of my professors here at Southern Seminary, recommended the book in our Church History class. There's much to learn from here, for both the single and the married. Sobering, inspiring, and extremely helpful.

[Amber · Rating 4 out of 5]

My husband and I have been in full time ministry for almost 20 years and even now I strive to keep learning about what makes a good ministry marriage. There are unique challenges to being married to a man in the ministry. This book touches on some famous couples and what they did right, wrong and in between. I appreciated that the author took the opportunity to look at each marriage from different perspectives and not simply making a judgment call.

[John · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really good read. Doreen Moore showed three perspectives on marriage and ministry via the lives of three 18th century Christian leaders( Jonathan Edwards, George Whitefield, and John Wesley). I highly recommend this book to men both in the ministry as well as men considering the ministry for like every area of our Christian walk we must seek balance.

[Thiofhitshithu Rabali · Rating 3 out of 5]

a good book that draws from the examples of great ministers who were married and how they not only left a legacy in the ministry, but also in marriage. helps one to have balance in ministry and marriage, as both are important and God-ordained