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43 pages, Paperback
Published January 1, 2023
‘I proudly and naively believed that writing books, becoming a writer, as the lat in a line of landless laborers, factory workers, and shopkeepers—people despised for their manners, their accent, their lack of education—would be enough to redress the social injustice linked to social class at birth.’
‘They can only be read in the same way if the “I” of the book becomes transparent, in a sense, and the “I” of the reader comes to occupy it; if this “I,” to put it another way, becomes transpersonal, if singular becomes universal.’
Finding the sentence that will give me the freedom and the firmness to speak without trembling in this place to which you have invited me this evening.
j'écrirai pour venger ma race
'I am of an inferior race for all eternity.'
I proudly and naively believed that writing books, becoming a writer, as the last in a line of land-less labourers, factory workers and shop keepers, people despised for their manners, their accent, their lack of education, would be enough to redress the social injustice linked to socila class at birth.
It was life situations in which the weight of difference between a woman's existence and that of a man was keenly felt in a society where roles were defined by gender, where contraception was prohibited and termination of pregnancy a crime.
I had to break with 'writing well' and beautiful sentences - the very kind I taught my students to write - to root out, display and understand the rift running through me. What came to me spontaneously was the clamour of a language which conveyed anger and derision, even crudeness; a language of excess, insurgent, often used by the humiliated and offended as their only response to the memory of others' contempt, of shame and shame at feeling shame.
I adopted a neutral, objective kind of writing, 'flat' in the sense that it contained neither metaphors nor signs of emotion. The violence was no longer displayed; it came from the facts themselves and not the writing. Finding the words that contain both reality and the sensation provided by reality would become, and remain to this day, my ongoing concern in writing, no matter what the subject.
This is how I conceived my commitment to writing, which does not consist of writing for a category of readers but in writing from my experience as a woman and an immigrant of the interior, and from my longer and longer memory of the years I have lived, and from the present, an endless provider of the images and words of others. This commitment through which I pledge myself in writing is supported by the belief, which has become a certainty, that a book can contribute to change in private life, help to shatter the loneliness of experiences endured and repressed, and enable beings to reimagine themselves. When the unspeakable is brought to light, it is political.
If I look back on the promise made at twenty to avenge my people, I cannot say whether I have carried it out. It was from this promise, and from my forebears—hardworking men and women inured to tasks that caused them to die early—that I received enough strength and anger to have the desire and ambition to give them a place in literature, amid this ensemble of voices that, from very early on, accompanied me, giving me access to other worlds and other ways of being, including that of rebelling against and wanting to change it, in order to inscribe my voice as a woman and a social defector in what still presents itself as a space of emancipation: literature.
'Finding the sentence that will give me the freedom and the firmness to speak without trembling in this place to which you have invited me this evening. To find that sentence, I don't have to look very far. It instantly appears. In all its clarity and violence. Lapidary. Irrefutable. Written in my diary sixty years ago. "I will write to avenge my people, j'écrirai pour venger ma race"
In bringing to light of the social unspeakable, of those internalized power relations linked to class and/or race, and gender too, felt only by the people who directly experience their impact, the possibility of individual but also collective emancipation emerges. To decipher the real world by stripping it of the visions and values that language, all language, carries within it is to upend its established order, upset its hierarchies.
Literature was a sort of continent which i unconsciously set in opposition to my social environment. And I conceived of writing as nothing less than the possibility of transfiguring reality.
I could not read the parable 'Before The Law' from Kafka's The Trial without seeing the shape of my own destiny: to die without ever having entered the gate made just for me, the book that only I could write.