The Outside World

by Tova Mirvis

Tzippy Goldman was born for marriage. She and her mother had always assumed she’d graduate high school, be set up with the right boy, and have a beautiful wedding with white lace and pareve vanilla cream frosting. But at twenty-two, Tzippy’s fast approaching spinsterhood. She dreams of escape; instead, she leaves for a year in Jerusalem.

There she meets–re-meets–Baruch, the son of her mother’s college roommate. When Tzippy last saw him, his name was Bryan and he wore a Yankees-logo yarmulke. Now he has adopted the black hat of the ultra-orthodox, the tradition in which Tzippy was raised. Twelve weeks later, they’re engaged...and discovering that desire and tradition, devotion and individuality aren’t the easiest balance.

Hilarious, compassionate, and tremendously insightful, The Outside World illuminates an insular community, marvelously depicting that complicated blend of faith, love, and family otherwise known as life in a modern world.

Genres: Fiction, Jewish, Judaism, Adult Fiction, Contemporary, Novels, Literary Fiction

304 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2004

About the author

I am excited to share that I have a new novel WE WOULD NEVER coming out in February, 2025. This book was inspired by a true crime story that I have followed over the years and could never quite stop thinking about. How, I wondered, could this tragic story - and so many others like it - happen? Not how did the actual crime occur, but how does a family do something so awful? How does a divorce spiral so out of control? While the news supplied me with an endless array of facts, I always came away from my Google searches feeling dissatisfied, my questions unanswered. As a novelist, I relish the way that fiction lets us go inside character's heads and really delve into their inner lives and all the complexities that we might otherwise hover above. And so I felt compelled to use this story as a springboard and turn those questions into a novel. I was interested in exploring how a family comes to do something they would have once believed they never would; how a divorce can escalate out of control; how people can lose sight of their moral compass; how the inability to forgive can have devastating consequences. We WOULD NEVER is a mystery about a murder but it's also about the mysteries of family loyalty and love and betrayal.

A little bit about me: I grew up in the small Jewish community in Memphis, Tennessee, where I felt both what was grounding about being part of a such an enclosed world as well as what was stifling. This became the subject of m first novel, The Ladies Auxiliary. My second novel, The Outside World, is also set in an Orthodox Jewish world, and is about two families whose children marry each other. In that book I wanted to write about the conflict between tradition and modernity, and also about marriage and dreams and belief and doubt. My third novel Visible City began when I moved from New York City to a Boston suburb. I was so homesick for a city I had come to live, and longed for the anonymous intimacy that comes from living among so many strangers. Visible City is about a woman who watches her neighbors from her windows and becomes entangled in their lives.

After these three novels, I wrote a memoir called The Book of Separation. It originated with an essay I wrote in the New York Times about leaving my marriage and my Orthodox Jewish faith. After the piece came out I was flooded with emails from people telling me their own stories of loss and change and it inspired me to write this book. The Book of Separation is about wrestling with doubt, about trying to be the person I was expected to be and about decided to change, when change felt as terrifying as anything I could do.

I live outside of Boston now and have three kids and three step kids. Besides writing, I love to read, run and play with my beloved dog.

Reviews

[Stacy · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a book that is marketed to be about dating and relationships within Jewish Orthodoxy, but really it is a book about faith - what drives people's faith and belief in God, and why is there such a vast difference between people? It is a topic worthy of much discussion and deep introspection, so it was interesting to see it tackled within the context of Jewish Orthodoxy, a world most of us know little about.

I live in Brooklyn, probably just a few blocks from where this book takes place, so it was very easy for me to imagine their world based on the author's descriptions and what I've seen myself. I also happen to be friends with an Orthodox Jewish woman, so I was familiar with many words and concepts that may have otherwise been more difficult to understand while trying to enjoy a novel. It was interesting to read these character's voice from the inside.

One thing my Orthodox friend did warn me about was that this book may be a little unfairly biased against Orthodox Judaism. After reading the book, I can understand why she feels that way. There is an awful lot about the difficulty of keeping up appearances, the endless rules, the lure of the outside world, but less about why this way of life is so fulfilling. It would have been nice to read more about that.

I also found the various points of view and shifting of the omniscient 3rd person point of view jarring. Sometimes it was hard to tell whose thoughts I was reading, and just when I got used to one point of view, it would change. The same thing happened with time passing. It was very confusing to realize I'd shifted forward months without a clear transition.

Overall, I felt it was an excellent concept and still gave me good food for thought along with an entertaining story, but I wish it had been better executed.

[Lemar · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Outside World by Torva Mirvis is at its heart about raising kids and the quest to have them adopt their parents' beliefs and traditions. Mirvis selects the fascinating and extreme world of Orthodox Jewish families in which to set this dynamic.

Mirvis employs a marvelously light touch which frees her to go deep inside her characters' motivations without ever seeming preachy or judgmental. Modern society has an expectation that our kids will be better off financially than we were, better educated and somehow freer. This expectation runs into its nemesis in Orthodox religion. Baruch, the male protagonist immersed himself in the traditional culture found in the Jerusalem neighborhood of Mea Shearim where,

"Jews seemed unaware that the cobblestone streets they trod weren't the same as those in their ancestors' villages and shtetls. The few hints of the twenty-first century - the bus stops, the advertisements on them, the phone booths that took telecards - stood out as anachronistic, not the people in their old fashioned dress."

When Barch returns to New Jersey, his family has to grapple with the question of whether the future will resemble something new or rather a return to the distant past of the nineteenth century.

Mirvis takes time to see the simple but profound plot elements through the minds of seven different characters, each of which is utterly convincing and captivating. Her natural curiosity about people is infectious and she has the writing skills to render these thoughts with elegance and clarity.

The issues of independence from birth families and the excitement and pitfalls of following one's independent dreams are applicable to any family. By setting the novel in the world of Orthodoxy she has heightened the tensions and boundaries to great effect.

[Cynthia Dunn · Rating 3 out of 5]

Actually 3.5.

[Ellen · Rating 4 out of 5]

This would be a 3.5 if half stars were possible. I guess I'm in a festive Chanukkah mood so I'm rounding up. At first I found the author's tone annoying, thinking that she was critizing frumsters for being closed minded and modern Orthos for being too insincere. But as I got into the story it really got me thinking about whether its possible to be modern Orthodox and pass our values on to our children, without them moving too far to the right or the left. It's not great literature but it is a readable story that raises some important questions. And I have to say that Mirvis dealt fairly well with the task of explaining Jewish customs enough so that her readers who aren't familiar with them will understand without going overboard and boring her readers who are familiar with them.

[erl · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was so engaging, I zipped right through it. It tells the story of a young couple, raised in opposite ends of the orthodox spectrum. While modern Baruch yearns for the authenticity of Chassidism, his Flatbush bred wife, Tzippy, is drawn to the independence she sees in the more modern approach. Clearly the author knows her way around the Jewish community, and little insights ring true over and over. But parts of her book were insulting and offensive. For example, Tzippy is a trained preschool teacher, something she only does because it's not a challenging career. As one who taught preschool for many years, I must say I've come across this misconception before, and finding it here is tiring. And the Brooklyn Jews come across as shallow,materialistic, and judgmental. Baruch's father, Joel, goes through the motions of modern orthodox practice but doesn't appear to believe anything in particular. Baruch's mother is the only person in the book who seems to have any developing spirituality, but her emerging practice is decidedly unorthodox. Still, the writing drew me in. I adored Baruch and Tzippy and hope they adjust to the learning curve of marriage. And I love how the author gave her hometown of Memphis a moment in the spotlight.

[Robyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

I borrowed this from my best friend having already read "The Ladies' Auxiliary", Mirvis' previous book. My best friend said the book was good, but she liked LA better; I actually disagree. While I did give both books 4 stars--I would say this is the better of the two.

Being a Reform Jew who is fascinated with the Orthodox world, it was interesting reading how they view 'our' world--but also about the laws and rules that govern their faith and practice. Mirvis does a great job of talking about the 2 different--quite observant--families and how even in Orthodoxy, there are differences.

The only reason why I can't give this book 5 stars is that about 2/3 of the way through the book I wanted to punch Herschel in the face and some of the writing got a little slow; although it picked back up again quickly. By the end, I still wanted to punch Herschel in the face, but I was happier with the way the other characters ended up as well.

My one caution for non-Jews reading this book (and LA for that matter): if you don't understand something; ask a friend who is Jewish. Although I'm Reform, I have some more observant family members and I felt like I understood a lot of what was going on merely because I was Jewish period; I don't know if non-Jews reading this book would 'get' a lot of the seemingly miniscule issues that Mirvis delves into.

[Gabrielle · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am struck by how this book showcases my fears. It made me unhappy but I loved it anyway.

In the plot of this book, I felt the struggle it is to open up to my parents (as a moody teenager, you know), even though they have done nothing "wrong" in raising me bar a few small flaws. There is nothing they could do better, yet those feelings of wanting to flee, of resentment, are completely there in this book. Then you have the flip side of the coin: a parent's struggle that cannot be won on keeping their children close, on raising children into people that the parents want them to be. If you want a happy romance book, I wouldn't recommend this, because this book made me relate so hard to my own relationship to my parents as a fledgling adult, and also to my fears about how I will raise my own children (in the far future). But if you want something deep and thoughtful, this is the book for you, no matter what religion (or lack thereof) you claim to be a part of.

[Kathryn Moss · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a great book! It manages to deal with religion and family relationships in a tender and entertaining way that is never disrespectful. I found it fascinating to learn more about modern Orthodox Jewish culture and beliefs, but most of all I was pulled in by the very real and multidimensional characters and the pain and joy they experience as families. It may be about Jewish families but the themes of fitting in, guilt, discovering truth for yourself and not comparing your spirituality to others, are universal!
Just note that if you read the book description, it sounds like it is all about Tzippy getting married, but it is actually about two sets of families struggling, growing and changing.

[Cindie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved her first book and could not imagine liking another book as much. i was wrong. This was less a condemnation of a cultural group, and more of a loving empathetic window into 3 characters. I enjoyed the Orthodox setting but I think the story was universal and applicable to any one -- especially any woman.

[Sarah · Rating 1 out of 5]

The stereotypes in this book were too much for me to handle.

[Isabel Andrus · Rating 4 out of 5]

Things I learned from this book:
1. Religious orthodoxy happens on a spectrum
2. Everyone has a valid point of view
3. Family dynamics are complicated
4. A lot about the Jewish faith and culture! I haven’t had much exposure to it so this book was very interesting and eye opening to me.

[Vitani Days · Rating 4 out of 5]

Un libro scritto in modo intelligente, un romanzo godibile e che si fa leggere in breve tempo. Stile quasi cinematografico, nel senso che sembra davvero di guardare un film mentre si legge, una di quelle commedie per famiglie dall'inevitabile lieto e lieto fine (anzi, strano che non ce ne abbiano ancora girata una, la vicenda si presta completamente e a tratti sembra scritta con quello scopo). E' una commedia, come ho detto, di quelle intelligenti.
L'ambiente è quello dell'ortodossia ebraica contemporanea, Stati Uniti d'America, la storia è quella di due famiglie. Da un lato abbiamo la famiglia di Tzippy, una madre rigidamente osservante, un padre troppo sognatore, cinque figlie femmine da crescere e accasare; dall'altro c'è la famiglia di Bryan/Baruch, che vive la fede con più morbidezza. In mezzo, c'è un matrimonio.
Il libro si apre focalizzandosi sul personaggio di Tzippy, ragazza che a ventidue anni è già considerata zitella. Sua madre, Shayna, non vive che per trovarle marito. Sogna il matrimonio perfetto con il ragazzo perfetto, tutto secondo i precetti della religione e secondo il credo della competizione coi vicini. Nella comunità ortodossa di New York le voci corrono, tutti si conoscono, gli abiti, i mobili, le frequentazioni parlano. E Shayna, che in gioventù non era religiosa, ha il terrore di commettere errori e di essere tagliata fuori da quel mondo in cui si è tanto faticosamente integrata. La maggiore delle sue figlie, Tzippy, deve essere lo strumento della sua affermazione sociale.
La ragazza però non ci sta. Scarta un pretendente dopo l'altro e arriva a decidere di trascorrere un anno a Gerusalemme, alla ricerca di quella libertà di essere che in casa le è negata.
Proprio a Gerusalemme rincontra Baruch, un suo vecchio compagno di liceo, e scatta il colpo di fulmine.
Baruch, dal canto suo, è un ragazzo che si è riavvicinato alla fede solo di recente. Invece di studiare alla Columbia, ha deciso di proseguire fino in fondo lungo il cammino della religione. Vive per lo studio e per la preghiera, cercando di cambiare anche il modo di vivere delle persone attorno a lui.
La frequentazione dei due giovani, e il seguente matrimonio, costituirà il primo e fondamentale cambiamento nelle vite di entrambe le famiglie.
Shayna avrà il suo matrimonio perfetto, ma poi si sentirà come svuotata.
Herschel, padre di Tzippy, si butterà in un'impresa lavorativa dall'esito incerto.
Baruch scoprirà che le esigenze del "mondo fuori" mal si conciliano con quelle dei suoi studi.
E così tutti gli altri personaggi. Ognuno, nel suo piccolo, cercherà di affermare il vero se stesso all'interno o al di là dei precetti della fede.
L'intelligenza del libro sta proprio qui: nel modo in cui i personaggi sono in perenne movimento, pur restando all'interno di limiti abbastanza circoscritti. C'è chi si butta nel lavoro, chi ritrova la spiritualità pur se in modo "diverso", chi vuole esplorare il mondo "di fuori", il mondo della gente che non mangia kosher, il mondo della gente che fa cose "proibite". O chi, semplicemente, sfida le convenzioni andando al college.
Il tutto narrato con uno stile efficacissimo, mai pesante o noioso (unico appunto su questo fronte: la forte presenza di termini in ebraico, non tutti presenti nel glossario a fine volume. Andarli a cercare ogni volta rallenta un po' la lettura).
Tova Mirvis ironizza un po' sui precetti più rigidi dell'ebraismo - a volte davvero ridicoli - e sui modi che la gente trova per aggirarli. Ironizza sulla società ebraica ortodossa di New York senza mai scadere nel caricaturale, porta alla luce il fascino dei rituali e della lettura dei testi sacri. E intanto i suoi personaggi - tutti molto ben caratterizzati e sviluppati - girano fra le pagine alla ricerca di un equilibrio autentico, e capiscono che la vita non corrisponde a una serie di regole rigide. Comprendono infine che tutti, al di là della facciata, hanno le loro debolezze. Ma anche che le debolezze possono essere superate. Si parlano e, finalmente, riescono a capirsi un po' di più gli uni con gli altri e a crescere, genitori e figli.
Il mondo fuori è il cambiamento che si sceglie, quale che esso sia.
Solo una cosa non mi è piaciuta, una sensazione che si è accentuata verso il finale. Questa faccenda che "tornando a casa si sistema tutto". E' vero che allontanarsi un po' serve a volte ad appianare i conflitti, ma non è tornando sotto il tetto da cui si è partiti che tutto magicamente torna a posto. Si rischia di non crescere mai davvero, così. E spero davvero che gli spiragli volutamente lasciati aperti dall'autrice intendessero condurre a un'interpretazione diversa.
Tuttavia, poiché in questo caso era abbastanza coerente - se non scontato - un risvolto del genere, mi tengo questi dubbi per me.
Una lettura gradevole anche se non imprescindibile.

[Rachel · Rating 5 out of 5]

There's a lot that's similar between this novel and the work that Mirvis would publish ten years later, "The Visible City." Both include characters who are asking questions about the meanings of their lives, and coming toe to toe with the realization that the path isn't always so certain, and their parents, children, spouses, etc have their own secret identities. I'm not quite sure why this one works a little better for me than the other--I likely can't completely discount my bias towards the struggle with Jewish spirituality, community, etc. But I also feel like maybe these characters are just slightly more layered, and their stories don't really wrap up nicely and conveniently, though the main character, Tzippy, seems to make some peace with the complexity of marriage.

Like Mirvis's other novels, this one is narrated from multiple points of view, though I tended to think of Tzippy (and to an extent her husband, Baruch,) as the main characters--Tzippy's profile is on the cover of the book, and her quest for a husband features prominently in the summary. So too does Baruch's transformation from Bryan, a modern Orthodox boy living in a Jewish New Jersey suburb, to an ultra-Orthodox young man. But the story doesn't rest on whether or not Tzippy will find her "beshert"/soulmate, or if Baruch will live happily ever after in Yeshiva. These choices are just their starting out points for how they will live their lives, grow as people and interact with their families as adults.

The four parents, Shayna, Herschel, Naomi and Joel, and Baruch's teenage sister, Illana, also get mini arcs in the wake of the courtship and marriage. I had a particular soft spot for Naomi; like Batsheva in Mirvis's "The Ladies Auxiliary," she's in line with the type of Jewish woman I want to be--spiritual, a deep thinker, empathetic towards family and embracing of pertinent traditions. This naturally put Naomi in contrast with her son, Baruch, for as she sought to find a compromise between the realities of her life, his ultra-Orthodoxy was more rigid. That's not to say that Mirvis didn't handle these characters with grace; at no time was their relationship the basis for a one dimensional battle between two world views.

Tzippy was an interesting mix of traditional and modern as well, surely defying some shallow stereotypes of ultra-Orthodox women, though I couldn't help but think that whenever she, or anyone else, thought about the contrast between her "sweet" self and her "angry" self, it had more to do with her quest for self-determination rather than any wild mood swings. Illana and Shayna also had intriguing storyline quirks.

When it came to the menfolk, Joel was kind of like a more annoying version of "Visible City"'s Jeremy--perhaps Mirvis's inspiration for Jeremy's father. Baruch was a little more baffling to me, with how easily he shed off and didn't even think much about his formerly more secular identity as Bryan, but I suppose the rigors of yeshiva education might do that. In fact, as his life path continues to change, Mirvis uses subtle language ploys to show how he views his education based on where/when he is.

Heschel is probably the most flabbergasting character, and I'm not sure Mirvis built him up enough for me to buy just how manic he turned out to be. Overall, she uses a detached, narrative language with few frills. It's not the most impressive style--I've stated before that it's sometimes on the nose--but she makes up for it with the story she's telling. I'll admit, I got a little teary at the wonderful, non-sentimental telephone reunion between two particularly estranged characters. It was good stuff.

[Leyla · Rating 3 out of 5]

Three stars and a half actually, because it's a page turner. Though relatively simple, I particularly enjoyed the construction of the characters: an accurate reflection of real life people, with worries and aspirations that I could recognize in everyday life.

[L** · Rating 3 out of 5]

SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT!

I wanted to like this book. I rather enjoyed her short story (which was an early version of the book) "A Poland, A Lithuania, A Galicia." But the book seemed bloated and meandering at times. And after Mirvis relocates the married couple of Tzippy and Baruch to a Midwestern backwater, the story loses the shared focus on multiple characters that made it so interesting.

The story initially shifts focus from Tzippy and her mother to Baruch and his family. At various points, the story centers on Tzippy, Baruch, their respective mothers, and Baruch's sister, and Mirvis uses each character to explore religion, piety, observance, family relations, and coming of age in various ways. The familial interaction between Baruch and his parents and sister, for example, were powerful, especially as he flouts Jewish law regarding peace in the home and respect of parents in his quest to be more pious than they are. Likewise, he basically treats his sister almost as a non-person because, in his quest to be more observant, he fears interacting with a female. And outside of quoting Talmud or the lectures of his rebbe, he seems to have no interest in trying to explain or engage his family in his newfound amped up sense of religiosity except to use it as a battering ram against them and make himself feel more like Super Jew. By the time he married Tzippy, I found myself hoping to get his self-righteous self out of a central role in the story and focus on the less obnoxious characters and their experiences. His sister, Alana, for example, was emerging as an interesting, intelligent young woman who wanted to rebel against the constraints of the religious school she attended, yet still carve out a Jewish identity for herself. But her story is mostly relegated once the young couple moves.

I did, though, like Tzippy. And after they moved to the Midwest to manage a restaurant/ deli counter, I really enjoyed her growth-- the independence she found, the intelligence and strength she cultivated, and the intellectual curiosity that she started to feel. And then the colossal cop out--- an EPT and apparent decision to move back NYC. The adventurous path that could have happened if an observant young woman fitting her faith into a life that was self-empowered and functioned secularly was seemingly re-aligned for her to return to her traditional, observant, and strongly gendered world. The fact that this retreat was accompanied by some growth and maturity from Baruch was cold comfort. rather than showing how a woman in a religious world could combine a marriage and her own growth instead seems to end with her pregnant, back in the home, and back in the fold-- all so her husband can forge the path he wants.

[Emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book has so much subtlety and complexity for such a short story. It wrestles with some big questions through a pretty narrow little story, just a couple of years in the life of two families. One thing that jumped out at me especially was how I could see every character's point of view - usually I'm rooting for someone to come out ahead and get their happy ending, but here I could see where just about everyone was coming from and how they all needed each other to get to that happy ending. I kinda chalk that up to it being in large part a story about "how do we live our lives in relation to God?" - there's no right or wrong answer to that, everyone has to get there on their own, and as a nonreligious reader I have no opinion of my own to interfere. (I do wish we'd gotten a little more of Ilana's story - she was just starting to wrap her own head around what she believed, and her little moments of rebellion stood out among the more mature and traditional characters!)

I also enjoyed this as a counterpart to the romance novels where two characters court/date/marry each other swiftly and it's a total fantasy of that working out just fine. The first third of this book is the whirlwind romance, and the rest is messy reality, but you still get the sense that love is going to get them through and things will work out in the end. It was a lovely balance of heavy subjects weighing on people who are generally happy and going to be okay.

[Lisa of Hopewell · Rating 3 out of 5]

The Story

Ultra-Orthodox Tzippy Goldman is nearly passed her marital sell-by date. Bryan Miller is worrying his is modern Orthodox parents by wanting to study in Jerusalem. Both are searching, but for what? Marriage? Faith? When they meet it seems to be that each has found the right person. But what will this do to their families and their lives?


What I Loved

I loved the way this author describes the life Tzippy was living. Orthodox or Fundamentalist religious life does the same things to girls across seemingly all faiths. They aren’t allowed much education, they are kept close to home, and their virginity is more valuable than their sanity. The author does a great job of showing Tzippy and her parents as people, not as sterotypes of their religion. I also liked the way she showed Bryan’s parents amusement turn to near anger. I’m with them–who turns down Columbia??

Like the t.v. show Counting On–about the grown up kids of the massive Duggar family who have grown up in a sheltering, near-cult, or it’s clone, Bringing Up Bates, the best part of the story is seeing where Bryan and Tzippy end up after leaving home. It is interesting to see what they keep, add, or throw-out from the faith in which they were raised.

The author’s earlier book, The Woman’s Auxiliary, has been on my to read list since Goodreads began–I’ll be making a big effor to get to it, finally, in 2019 at least, since I so enjoyed this book.
My Rating
3.75

[Ellie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an excellent book about two observant Jewish families whose lives are woven together. One is very frum, living in Brooklyn, while the other is very modern and lives in New Jersey. The daughter from the frummie family wants to become more worldly and modern, while the son from the modern family goes to Israel and becomes very frum. And then of course the two meet, fall in love, and get married. I love this book because it describes worlds I know so well, and describes them beautifully. It is funny and touching. It explores the many facets of religion, and of personal motivation and religious differences. The end is a bit too perfect and unrealistic, but I can forgive that because it’s also wonderful. I think I’ll probably want to read this book again someday soon. It’s so nice to read a book about my own world that actually displays an understanding of that world rather than befuddlement. The one weird thing is the way Mirvis kept writing “kosher” when she should have said “kashrus”; I assume it was to make the book more accessible to non-Jewish readers, but then so many other Hebrew and Yiddish terms were used that were never explained, so I really don’t know.

[Jo · Rating 3 out of 5]

The characters in this book are in the Orthodox Jewish community, and the 3rd person omniscient perspective lets you in on what both men and women are thinking about their places and choices in the world. In that way it is a good window into a world closed off from secular life, which is Oh-So in-your-face on the television and in the media in general.

Modern life seems so much about sharing every little detail about our personal lives that this was a glimpse into the privacy-that-was not so long ago. The characters have access and use modern technology but when showing your hair is considered brazen (for a married woman), the idea of sharing a bikini-selfie is unthinkable.

The story serves to help educate the rest of the world about a community we would otherwise continue to find mysterious and backwards, and even more foreign than that of the Amish. I would recommend it for that and for being a good story of self-discovery as each character learns a little bit more about his/herself and are able to grow that little bit more to allow for others in their lives to make their personal changes.

[Mark · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very interesting look at the varieties of experience within the Orthodox Jewish community in and around New York City. A little slow to get started, but soon the characters and the story take over. The tale revolves around a young couple, Tzippy Goldman, whose mother had converted to Orthodoxy as a teenager and whose father is a n'er-do-well dreamer, and Baruch Miller, born to less observant parents who were nevertheless born into orthodoxy. There are so many points of comparison, and the reactions of the various characters play off all of these differences just brilliantly. There is ample opportunity for conflict and the author takes full advantage! A working knowledge of the intricacies of Jewish theology and practice is not necessary as Ms Torvis provides adequate background filler when necessary to make the entire novel accessible without becoming tedious. Tzippy came across as one very likable young woman, struggling to make a life for herself and her new husband, and nearly cutting off her family in the process of establishing herself as a person of substance.

[Sam · Rating 2 out of 5]

The flap of this book was misleading. I thought this book was going to be about the marriage between Tzippy and Bryan. It starts out that way but that's not really what the book is about at all. I was a bit disappointed because I was looking forward to reading more of a love story (not that there wasn't one in the book but that was only a small part of it).

What this book is really about is family and faith. It's very down to earth and easy to read. I enjoy Tova MIrvis's books because they revolve around Judaism and the Jewish holidays. They're kind of in a genre of their own sort of like Chaim Potok but for women. I wish there were more books like this.

That being said, I enjoyed the story of Tzippy and Bryan much more than that of the other characters. Although, I did enjoy Mirvis's style of telling the story from everyone's point of view. I wish the story was just focused on Tzippy and Bryan. Those parts of the story were more exciting to me than the tribulations of their families.

[Kirstin · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really wish Goodreads had a 10 star system instead of five. This book is probably closer to 2 3/4 stars. It was interesting but plot wise it was a bit scattered and left a bit to be desired.

Read this if you are interested in a look at how people fit their personal beliefs/faith into their every day lives and how the demands of the world can affect both beliefs and actions. Through the characters in her book Tova Mirvis looks at questions such as: Why should I be religious? What does it mean to be religious? How devout does one have to be to be religious?

Once again I was struck with the similarities to my own religion despite the great differences in doctrine. This book speaks to the truth that even in what seems to be the most strict and conforming religions (such as Mormonism and Orthodox Judaism) individual members represent a wide spectrum of belief and orthodoxy.

[Rachael Howell · Rating 4 out of 5]

What I love about Tova Mirvis is that her books are idea-driven instead of plot or character based (not that they lack in either of those). The characters are fascinating to me because they function as well developed members of the family, but also serve as archetypal examples. I loved that you could relate to them, but they were clearly extremes. This one revolves around a wedding at first, but really the story is about how to be religious and exist in the outside world. She doesn't resolve it really or provide answers, but there is a sense of hope at the end that the characters are figuring it out. In the middle, it was sure depressing, but I'm glad that I stuck with it. I should disclose that there was a tiny bit of sexuality relating to their courtship (they weren't even allowed to touch and she sometimes wished for more) and I skipped right over the discussion of their honeymoon just to be safe. :)

[Robyn · Rating 2 out of 5]

I had a real hard time getting into this book. There was a lot of Jewish terminology in the begining that really slowed me down and eventually turned me off to the book. A friend recommended so I had a source to ask for definitions and I powered further into the book based on her and other's recommendations that it would get better. It did get better, less danting terms but because of the rough start I never connected with any of the characters. So dispite getting better, it really did not hold my interest or attention. I finished it but not without a good deal of skipping and skimming.

I have enjoyed other novels about religions that are not my own soe I was looking forward to this when when I recieved so I was very disappointed when I could not connect to the characters or get past things I did not understand or know as a norm.

[Rachel]

This novel offered great insights into the everyday lives of modern Orthodox Jews. It's a truly thought-provoking, occasionally wrenching book. I found it fascinating to see the differences in the family members' level of belief and adherence to various traditions. My own family, a mix of Reform and Conservative Jews as well as non-Jews, experiences some of these same challenges. I'm not sure that non-Jews would be able to understand the rituals and some of the vocabulary Mirvis uses, though the struggles between parents and their children that she writes about are universal ones. The novel raises numerous interesting questions, among them: What do you do when your child is more observant than you are? How much independence should you give your nearly adult children? Can a mother force her children to be friends with each other?

[Maura · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's described on the flap as a story of a marriage between Bryan, who becomes Baruch after spending a year in Israel after high school, and Tzippy, raised in an Orthodox family to fulfill her destiny of graduating high school, marrying, and spending the rest of her life rearing children to be good Orthodox Jews themselves. Although it starts out as the story of how Bryan and Tzippy come together from two different worlds, it ends more as a story about faith and beliefs and the effect the modern (outside) world has on us. A pretty good story. The only weakness is that ending seems too abrupt; unless she is planning on writing a sequel, I think she ends the book where it is getting even more interesting as Tzippy and Bryan contend with their individual needs and the outside world tests their faith, towards each other and their religion.

[Annie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked it. But I liked Ladies Auxiliary better.

It is so interesting for me to read about Jewish culture and the variations that exist. There are so many parallels to Mormon culture. I wish that I had completed the book in time for book club so that I could have participated better in the conversation.

What things in our religion need to be followed exactly - commandments and what things are cultural and have some variations. What do we do to fit in and what do we do out of conviction? Do these things strengthen us and improve our relationship with God?

I was happy about they way things were being resolved in the book but I was left hanging on some of the story lines. I don't think she was quite as thorough as I would have liked.

[Christine · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an enjoyable read, a great look at family dynamics and how people and relationships change as children grow into adults and as life just happens. I liked the way the perspective shifted between various characters. I was reminded of Anne Tyler's novels in both the one theme of independence vs community and in the way the characterizations of so many different people seemed so human and likable in all their imperfections.

An added bonus was the view into orthodox Jewish culture. I had to laugh at the way the young man came home from two years at yeshiva in Israel converted and full of barely-concealed judgment for his less-strictly-observant family (so reminiscent of many returning Mormon missionaries).

[JoAnn · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was so disappointed in this book. After reading and liking "The Ladies Auxiliary" several years ago, I stumbled upon this one, not even knowing Mirvis had written a second novel. So I really looked forward to reading it.....but it was a pretty poor imitation of her first novel.

As much as I like to read about other cultures and religions in novels, this one was just overboard with all of the Jewish lore, legend, language, and customs. The outline of the story was interesting, but all of the TEDIOUS details just killed the flow of the underlying story and plot.

One star is because I finished it. Wish I had not wasted my time.

PS - Should "Ladies" in the title of her last book be possessive (Ladies')?

[Amber · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book. Struggles with faith--how much is too much, how much is not enough in an Orthodox Jewish community in NY and then a much smaller community in Memphis. We get to see through the eyes of a teenager, mothers and fathers, and the main characters young adults preparing for and entering into the first year of marriage. There is no neat little bow to tie it all up at the end. Just like life, there are loose ends and the struggle continues. I loved her other book "The Ladies Auxilary" and thought this would just be more of the same. While there were similarities, it was defintely a different perspective on the same issues.