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為什麼難過的總是我？: 甩開壞情緒的日常技巧，辨識依附關係，提供自我支持對話，釐清個人界線，遠離讓自己受傷的人際模式，找回平靜和幸福感
★英國心理類暢銷書、已售出16種語言版權
★適用於每一天和各種關係的實用情緒調節方法
◆保護和陪伴自己，安然度過突襲的情緒難關 當我們難過、受傷、焦慮、生氣，或者遇到無法應付的情況， 只要具備自我調節技巧，不只可以解決不適，還能持續維持身心的穩定， 自在處理各種關係的起伏，讓你更快樂，也有力量。 「你抗拒的一切，都會繼續存在，還會愈來愈壯大。」—榮格
◆難過不是你的錯，從探索自我中找到慰藉：
◎我做錯什麼嗎？為什麼對方不回我訊息？在生我的氣嗎？
◎心情低落又不太確定自己想要什麼，但別人看起來都很有目標…
◎身心俱疲又不敢拒絕別人，如果伴侶、朋友或家人踩線時怎麼辦？
◎用拼命工作、吃藥或瘋狂運動麻痺自己？還有方法緩解不舒服？
◎我很難過，沒有人懂我，覺得自己註定孤老一生，愛情都是騙人的…
◆在人生的道路上，我們可以不斷重新認識自己
愛爾蘭人氣心理治療師莎拉‧克羅斯比，分析影響心情的主要原因，包括辨識依附關係、尋找觸發情緒的根源、建立正向人際連結、脫離思維陷阱、自我支持對話、設立界線、處理創傷等，並且提出可以應用在日常生活的解決之道和有效的練習，適用於伴侶、工作、親朋好友等各種關係的應對方式，協助緩解焦慮、恐慌、不知所措或悲傷，找到持久的幸福、自信和平靜：
1. 探索影響愛情、親情、人際關係的原因，擺脫限制性思維模式
◎做自己：察覺情緒，自主決定如何回應不舒服的起伏，而非被焦慮或憤怒控制。
◎建立正向關係：了解焦慮型依附、逃避型依附、混亂型依附、安全型依附類型，以改善和降低人際連結造成的痛苦。
◎自我對話：認識內在霸凌者，透過提供自我支持的內在對話，更善待自己。
2. 啟動內在療癒，修復人際互動模式 ，度過各種情緒反應
◎識別觸發情緒的原因：覺察力提升後，才能減輕我們的反應、管理情緒，建立心理韌性，提升安全感。
◎培養調節情緒的能力：提供實用練習，陷入不舒服的情緒時，都可以立即應用。
3.設立界線就是照顧自己，辨識不健康與不安全的關係
◎設立界線：劃出底線是身心健全的首要步驟。無論愛情、親情或職場關係，都不能當成傷害我們的藉口。
◎療癒過往的傷：撫慰被困在家庭和創傷中的自己，在自我關係和人際連結之中，建立和強化安全感。
★適用於每一天和各種關係的實用情緒調節方法
◆保護和陪伴自己，安然度過突襲的情緒難關 當我們難過、受傷、焦慮、生氣，或者遇到無法應付的情況， 只要具備自我調節技巧，不只可以解決不適，還能持續維持身心的穩定， 自在處理各種關係的起伏，讓你更快樂，也有力量。 「你抗拒的一切，都會繼續存在，還會愈來愈壯大。」—榮格
◆難過不是你的錯，從探索自我中找到慰藉：
◎我做錯什麼嗎？為什麼對方不回我訊息？在生我的氣嗎？
◎心情低落又不太確定自己想要什麼，但別人看起來都很有目標…
◎身心俱疲又不敢拒絕別人，如果伴侶、朋友或家人踩線時怎麼辦？
◎用拼命工作、吃藥或瘋狂運動麻痺自己？還有方法緩解不舒服？
◎我很難過，沒有人懂我，覺得自己註定孤老一生，愛情都是騙人的…
◆在人生的道路上，我們可以不斷重新認識自己
愛爾蘭人氣心理治療師莎拉‧克羅斯比，分析影響心情的主要原因，包括辨識依附關係、尋找觸發情緒的根源、建立正向人際連結、脫離思維陷阱、自我支持對話、設立界線、處理創傷等，並且提出可以應用在日常生活的解決之道和有效的練習，適用於伴侶、工作、親朋好友等各種關係的應對方式，協助緩解焦慮、恐慌、不知所措或悲傷，找到持久的幸福、自信和平靜：
1. 探索影響愛情、親情、人際關係的原因，擺脫限制性思維模式
◎做自己：察覺情緒，自主決定如何回應不舒服的起伏，而非被焦慮或憤怒控制。
◎建立正向關係：了解焦慮型依附、逃避型依附、混亂型依附、安全型依附類型，以改善和降低人際連結造成的痛苦。
◎自我對話：認識內在霸凌者，透過提供自我支持的內在對話，更善待自己。
2. 啟動內在療癒，修復人際互動模式 ，度過各種情緒反應
◎識別觸發情緒的原因：覺察力提升後，才能減輕我們的反應、管理情緒，建立心理韌性，提升安全感。
◎培養調節情緒的能力：提供實用練習，陷入不舒服的情緒時，都可以立即應用。
3.設立界線就是照顧自己，辨識不健康與不安全的關係
◎設立界線：劃出底線是身心健全的首要步驟。無論愛情、親情或職場關係，都不能當成傷害我們的藉口。
◎療癒過往的傷：撫慰被困在家庭和創傷中的自己，在自我關係和人際連結之中，建立和強化安全感。
222 pages, Kindle Edition
Published November 29, 2023
118 people are currently reading
556 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 32 reviews
August 26, 2021
2021 Reading Challenge Week 32: Discovered on Social Media
I read a little quip somewhere recently that said something like "Spend less time reading self-help books and more time implementing what you learn from them." Just like actual therapy, self-help books aren't magic. It's really easy to just read one, walk away, feel good for a few days, and then leave it all behind.
So, here's what I like about this particular book, and why I'm rating it 5 stars. This is a book that invites the reader to interact and actually do the work that you do in therapy. It's quite honestly the next best thing to actual face-to-face therapy. And really, while on the face of it, the idea of 'five minute therapy' might seem a little pointless; the truth is that if we all spent about that time each day doing a little bit of mental health hygiene, I think we'd all be just a little better off.
Last year I started following a lot of therapist accounts on social media. Sarah Crosby's was one of about five that consistently delivers really solid, meaningful content. She comes off as genuine, wise, and compassionate. But she also has the credentials and evidence-based knowledge to back it all up.
I read a little quip somewhere recently that said something like "Spend less time reading self-help books and more time implementing what you learn from them." Just like actual therapy, self-help books aren't magic. It's really easy to just read one, walk away, feel good for a few days, and then leave it all behind.
So, here's what I like about this particular book, and why I'm rating it 5 stars. This is a book that invites the reader to interact and actually do the work that you do in therapy. It's quite honestly the next best thing to actual face-to-face therapy. And really, while on the face of it, the idea of 'five minute therapy' might seem a little pointless; the truth is that if we all spent about that time each day doing a little bit of mental health hygiene, I think we'd all be just a little better off.
Last year I started following a lot of therapist accounts on social media. Sarah Crosby's was one of about five that consistently delivers really solid, meaningful content. She comes off as genuine, wise, and compassionate. But she also has the credentials and evidence-based knowledge to back it all up.
January 3, 2021
Amazing book, so well written, such an easy read & loads of take home points. It's a book that will stay with me, and I've underlined points I need to work on. Well done Sarah 🥰🥰
July 26, 2023
Man atrodo, kad bus naudinga tiems, kas jau užtektinai prisiskaitė apie ribas, rūpestį savimi ir vidinį vaiką, o dabar norėtų kažką daryti (beje, čia viena iš tų knygų, kur vidinis vaikas ir darbas su juo visai normaliai ir be pūkų ir debesų aprašomas). Gausu pratimų/patarimų, žemas slenkstis (skirti tik 5 minutes kasdien daug kam bus įmanoma) ir aiški kalba tikrai bus naudinga, ir visgi - specialisto, jei tokio reikia, konsultacijos nepakeis.
Svarbu - knygos šriftas tikrai labai smulkus.
Svarbu - knygos šriftas tikrai labai smulkus.
March 6, 2021
This is an amazing book! It is written in a very compassionate and comprehensible way and made me feel that I am on a journey together with the author and not just left alone with my issues. She includes various practical approaches and examples, something I often miss in other self-help books. This book touches on many things I want to work on and I will use it as a companion to get back to whenever I struggle with mental health.
I definitely recommend this to anyone who is having issues or supporting a loved one, as it will help understand both themselves and each other better.
I definitely recommend this to anyone who is having issues or supporting a loved one, as it will help understand both themselves and each other better.
February 18, 2024
Practical tips for a wide audience. A couple of helpful quotes:
- noticing and naming our emotions can bridge the gap between what we're thinking and what we're feeling. (...) 'I am feeling this' allows you to recognise that you are not exclusively that emotion and gives you space to observe the feeling rather than be it. (...)the emotions you are feeling are temporary
- anything rhat diminishes our spirit has the potential to erode our sense of self (I am wrong vs I have done sth wrong)
On triggers:
-if you're human, there's not another person alive who won't trigger you
-Am I reacting to what is happening or what I fear will happen?
-am i reacting to what has been said or a story that I've attached to what has been said?
There are many helpful tips on various topics like these. Some chapters are more helpful than others. Since I don't fully agree with everything, 3⭐
- noticing and naming our emotions can bridge the gap between what we're thinking and what we're feeling. (...) 'I am feeling this' allows you to recognise that you are not exclusively that emotion and gives you space to observe the feeling rather than be it. (...)the emotions you are feeling are temporary
- anything rhat diminishes our spirit has the potential to erode our sense of self (I am wrong vs I have done sth wrong)
On triggers:
-if you're human, there's not another person alive who won't trigger you
-Am I reacting to what is happening or what I fear will happen?
-am i reacting to what has been said or a story that I've attached to what has been said?
There are many helpful tips on various topics like these. Some chapters are more helpful than others. Since I don't fully agree with everything, 3⭐
June 29, 2021
An excellent accompaniment to therapy. I found it very helpful in reminding me of important points discussed in therapy, and it helped through some difficult trigger moments. Concise, no-bullshit, based on the latest research in the field of schema therapy - a truly effective kind of therapy that actually helps, relatively quickly. I read a digital copy and then ordered a paper one to have next to me and mark passages in so I can come back to them easily whenever I need to. I'm hoping the author provides us with further books of the kind, I'll be following.
January 3, 2021
Superb book! Couldn't recommend it enough.
January 23, 2021
This book is AMAZING! I would recommend it to anyone and everyone. I found the author through IG and really enjoyed her short but relevant content. The book is designed similarly, with lots of prompts to pause, reflect and journal through your experiences. The book is very inclusive to those who have experienced either little "t" or big "T" trauma. It reviews relevant psychotherapy theory and strategies but in a way that doesn't make you want to cringe (so many terms like: self care, boundaries etc. are becoming common social media buzz words). This book helps you to reframe thoughts/ experiences and provides a wide variety of actionable strategies so you can apply those that are most relevant to you. This is honestly the BEST self-help book I have read in YEARS! 100/10 would recommend it! Thank you, Sarah Crosby for the fantastic book!
July 23, 2022
I confess I was intrigued by the title of this book and the only reason I picked it up.
Of course therapy can never be completed in 5 minutes but if you take 5 minutes of your life every day to heal yourself, it will definitely work.
Call it pocket book therapy or bite sized wisdom, the book is actually helpful. It is not at all patronizing but is compassionate instead and you get a feeling that finally there is someone who understands you. There are plenty of easy to do exercises outlined for various issues. I particularly liked the chapter on triggers (I am trying to work on my anger / intolerance management) and I found it beneficial.
Hope you find the book beneficial too!
Of course therapy can never be completed in 5 minutes but if you take 5 minutes of your life every day to heal yourself, it will definitely work.
Call it pocket book therapy or bite sized wisdom, the book is actually helpful. It is not at all patronizing but is compassionate instead and you get a feeling that finally there is someone who understands you. There are plenty of easy to do exercises outlined for various issues. I particularly liked the chapter on triggers (I am trying to work on my anger / intolerance management) and I found it beneficial.
Hope you find the book beneficial too!
July 20, 2021
This book was recommended to me and I'm so thankful it was. It introduced me to a way of thinking I didn't see possible. While it is no miracle cure for mental health, its an insight into aspects of relationships and types of attachments I knew nothing about. I had a few lightbulb moments during this book, where something clicked, and I finally started to understand why I feel the way I do when it comes to certain situations and relationships. It's a great little pocket therapist. Thank you Sarah 😊
August 24, 2023
A handy little book that covers loads of worthwhile topics. Therapy really changed my life so I'm always open to continuing the work now my sessions have finished! The chapters are really easy to follow and have lots of little tasks and areas where you can journal or think about your own life. This is one of those books that after you've read it you could easily revisit it when you needed to. 4 stars!
September 21, 2023
Set out into key areas of self-improvement that are broken down into bite sized chunks without medical jargon and ways to understand and digest
Not sure what the ‘five minute’ part means as each section (for me) was 30 minutes, which I read as one chapter a day.
Recommend for people who aren’t interested in knowing the science or psychology behind healing, and just want some *very* basic pointers towards self-improvement
Not sure what the ‘five minute’ part means as each section (for me) was 30 minutes, which I read as one chapter a day.
Recommend for people who aren’t interested in knowing the science or psychology behind healing, and just want some *very* basic pointers towards self-improvement
October 20, 2023
Five minute therapy is a heart-warming, soul-calming book from psychotherapist Sarah Crosby. The book feels and (in audio version) sounds like the words of a caring friend, who asks you the right questions to help you find your true, authentic self, set boundaries, repair (or quit) relationships, and throw your negative self-talk out of the window. Particularly the chapter on setting boundaries is liberating, like taking a weight off your tired shoulders.
July 15, 2021
I adored this. Sarah Crosby is a therapist who writes with so much insight and compassion. This book is a wonderful pocket therapist, with very important definitions and helpful mental exercises - and I know I will keep coming back to it for re-reads.
August 14, 2022
Great book, easy to dip in and out of. I really like the way it flowed almost like having your own personal therapist. Really liked the summing up of each chapter and it gives a really good week by week therapy session. I will be referring to it on an ongoing basis.
March 14, 2023
Well, not sure if I gained anything. But these advices are, I believe, pretty harmless. So if these advices wouldn´t help, these advices certainly wouldn´t hurt (exception: people after trauma - but it´s mentioned in the book, so it´s ok).
October 26, 2023
It is quite a good start book to have an overall idea about basics in psychotherapy with simple and efficient explanations and tools for everyone. But if you have already read enough books about psychology, this may not be for you.
January 3, 2021
An excellent book I highly recommend 🙌🙌
January 18, 2021
Competently read by the author, this was a gentle therapy session with some great take-aways.
February 3, 2021
Highly recommend this book, so well written and thought out excellent advice and guidance for personal growth. Does exactly what it says a pocket therapist. 5 stars
August 9, 2023
I really enjoyed this book, it is well written, straight to the point and filled with wisdom. As a therapist and as a person on a healing journey I truly recommend this book.
September 9, 2023
An amazing and thought provoking book! Its a must read for everyone despite their mental health situation.
September 25, 2023
An extremely helpful self-help book that actually gives you tasks and guidelines on what to do. Highly recommend it!
March 6, 2024
Fantastic book! Maybe a workbook is in the works;) or more please! Like a series.
April 14, 2024
Through this amazing book, Sarah shows how it is possible for everyone to feel more confidant, calm and happy. I'll definitely revisit this book many times. Very easy to read.
April 23, 2024
Very informative, intuitive and in great bite size chunks for easy reading on distracting days!
October 24, 2024
paras self help/psykologinen kirja ikinä ja oikeest hyödyllinen
April 4, 2022
I’ve been a fan of psychotherapist, Sarah Crosby, and have followed her on the Instamagram (@themindgeek) for a looooong time. I love the way she packages mental health wisdom in easy-to-digest, bitesize, too-cute little Post-it notes. Needlessly to say I was elated to learn that she was releasing her first book!
And it did not disappoint. I appreciated learning from her in a more deep and expanded format, which was exactly what I needed at the time. There are plenty of practical exercises to follow and she, as only she could, made the often daunting task of mental health self care manageable.
I’ve been on the inward journey for some seven years now and I feel this book whilst a great resource for someone in the beginning of their inward journey, is perfect for those who are ready to venture further inside their mind palace.
As Sarah always says, inwards and onwards, and this is precisely what this wonderful book did for me. I hope it will do the same for you, too.
*This review was originally published on my blog: https://asirus.net/book-review/5-minu...
And it did not disappoint. I appreciated learning from her in a more deep and expanded format, which was exactly what I needed at the time. There are plenty of practical exercises to follow and she, as only she could, made the often daunting task of mental health self care manageable.
I’ve been on the inward journey for some seven years now and I feel this book whilst a great resource for someone in the beginning of their inward journey, is perfect for those who are ready to venture further inside their mind palace.
As Sarah always says, inwards and onwards, and this is precisely what this wonderful book did for me. I hope it will do the same for you, too.
*This review was originally published on my blog: https://asirus.net/book-review/5-minu...
January 6, 2022
This book gave me so much - it was a great help for me last year. I have been going to therapy for years but for some reason I didn't feel what I have already understood. This book's structure was a kind of key for me to fully comprehend what I have learnt from my own therapy up to that point. We used this book with my therapist. For that reason it was also a comfort book. Consciously trying to improve yourself is tiring and bumps on the road to yourself are inevitable - whenever I felt down I kept reading this book to keep me on track - it gave me comfort. Interesting fact: I think the phrasing, how it was written also helped a lot with understanding myself more. English is not my native language, and yet there were so many times I told to myself: that's exactly how I feel and this is the expression I would use - in Hungarian I couldn't have expressed it so clearly, even though it's a beautiful rich language. Somehow this straightforward English was better for me. So thank you, Sarah, for writing this book! I recommend it to everyone who would like to start a journey to better understand/be themselves. :)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 32 reviews