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American Mother

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AMERICAN MOTHER, UNE ENQUÊTE AU COEUR DE L'HORREUR:

Comment rester debout face à la violence, à l'horreur ? Comment regarder dans les yeux celui qui vous a enlevé ce que vous aviez de plus précieux ? Comment pardonner à l'assassin d'un des siens ? Comment garder espoir quand tant d'atrocités sont commises au nom de la religion ?

Toutes ces questions qui nous assaillent dans une actualité toujours plus tragique, Colum McCann y a été confronté lors de sa rencontre avec Diane Foley. Jour après jour, il l'a accompagnée au procès des bourreaux de Daech et a vu une mère au courage exceptionnel puiser dans sa foi et son humanisme la force d'affronter un de ceux qui ont torturé et décapité son fils, le journaliste américain James Foley.

Plongez dans une enquête vibrante sur les intégrismes religieux à travers l'histoire vraie de cette mère de famille face à l'horreur.

208 pages, Paperback

Published January 4, 2024

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About the author

Colum McCann

79 books4,489 followers
Sign up for Colum's newsletter: http://bit.ly/mccannsignup

Colum McCann is the author of three collections of short stories and six novels, including "Apeirogon," published in Spring 2020. His other books include "TransAtlantic," "Let the Great World Spin," "This Side of Brightness,""Dancer" and “Zoli,” all of which were international best-sellers.

His newest book, American Mother, written with Diane Foley, is due to be published in March 2024.

American Mother takes us deep into the story of Diane Foley; whose son Jim, a freelance journalist, was held captive by ISIS before being beheaded in the Syrian desert.
Diane’s voice is channeled into searing reality by Colum, who brings us on a journey of strength, resilience, and radical empathy.

"American Mother is a book that will shake your soul out," says Sting.

Apeirogon (2020) became a best-seller on four continent.

“Let the Great World Spin” won the National Book Award in 2009. His fiction has been published in over 40 languages and has appeared in The New Yorker, The Atlantic Monthly, GQ, Paris Review and other places. He has written for numerous publications including The Irish Times, Die Zeit, La Republicca, Paris Match, The New York Times, the Guardian and the Independent.

In December 2023 Colum (as co-founder of Narrative 4) was the 2023 Humanitarian Award nominee, awarded by the United Nations delegations at the Ambassador's Ball in New York City.

Colum has won numerous international awards. He is a member of the American Academy of Arts and Letters, as well as the Irish association of artists, Aosdana. He has also received a Chevalier des Artes et des Lettres from the French government. He is the cofounder of the global non-profit story exchange organisation Narrative 4.

In 2003 Colum was named Esquire magazine's "Writer of the Year." Other awards and honors include a Pushcart Prize, the Rooney Prize, the Irish Independent Hughes and Hughes/Sunday Independent Novel of the Year 2003, and the 2002 Ireland Fund of Monaco Princess Grace Memorial Literary Award. He was recently inducted into the Hennessy Hall of Fame for Irish Literature.

His short film "Everything in this Country Must," directed by Gary McKendry, was nominated for an Academy Award Oscar in 2005.

Colum was born in Dublin in 1965 and began his career as a journalist in The Irish Press. In the early 1980's he took a bicycle across North America and then worked as a wilderness guide in a program for juvenile delinquents in Texas. After a year and a half in Japan, he and his wife Allison moved to New York where they currently live with their three children, Isabella, John Michael and Christian.

Colum teaches in Hunter College in New York, in the Creative Writing program, with fellow novelists Peter Carey and Tea Obreht.

Colum has completed his new novel, "Apeirogon." Crafted out of a universe of fictional and nonfictional material, McCann tells the story of Bassam Aramin and Rami Elhanan. One is Israeli. One is Palestinian. Both are fathers. Both have lost their daughters to the conflict. When Bassam and Rami learn of each other's stories they recognize the loss that connects them, and they begin to use their grief as a weapon for peace.

In the novel McCann crosses centuries and continents. He stitches together time, art, history, nature and politics in a tale both heartbreaking and hopeful. Musical, cinematic, muscular, delicate and soaring, Apeirogon is a novel for our times.

It is scheduled for release in the U.S in February 2020.


Advance copies will be available here on GoodReads!!!!

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 207 reviews
Profile Image for Angela M .
1,456 reviews2,115 followers
March 9, 2024
Breathtaking . I had to stop and catch my breath several times while reading Colum McCann’s first non fiction book written with Diane Foley, mother of murdered activist and journalist James Foley. James Foley was held hostage in Syria for nearly two years before being beheaded in 2014. He was the first American citizen to be murdered by ISIS.

I was struck by so many things as I read this . But I was jolted even before I read it . I had just received Colum McCann’s newsletter in which he tells how this book came to be and how he first connected with Diane Foley. He tells how he received a video of Jim taken several years before his death, reading McCann’s novel Let the Great World Spin. It’s been a number of years since I read that novel and while I will honestly say I don’t remember all of the details, a scene from the book immediately came to mind - a support group of mothers who had lost their sons in Vietnam. I got a chill as I was about to embark on a mother’s story, a mother who had lost her son, not in the military, but as a journalist wanting to bear witness to the truth. I have included a link to his note on this book from his website.

I am in awe of Diane Foley’s calm in meeting her son’s murderer, in sitting through days of a trial, while bearing the grief of having lost a child in a horrific way . Where does this strength and wherewithal come from in this devastating moment? I am in awe of her capacity for compassion, of her willingness to try to understand. I am in awe of how she continued to work with the US government, who essentially did nothing to try to get Jim and others held captive released. I found it appalling, beyond appalling that the then president, Barack Obama announces Jim’s death on TV before the family has been officially notified . He called them three days later. It’s disheartening that if you were a civilian held captive and not in the military, you were not a top priority of your own government no matter how much they said you were. This book is also an education.

There are beautiful and joyful parts to this story, too. The loving memories of their life as a family when the kids were growing up, memories of Jim. We get to see what an incredible individual he was by what he did with his life .

Diane was sustained by her faith, but still. I’m in awe of how she and her family moved forward digging deep to turn some of their grief into goodness by creating the James W. Foley Legacy Foundation. I’m also in awe of Colum McCann, one of my favorite writers, who joined with Diane on this journey bringing his extraordinary story telling gift and his caring for humanity . This caring is also eloquently illustrated in his last novel Apeirogon.


McCann’s note : https://colummccann.com/american-mother/

I’m grateful to have received an advanced copy of this from Etruscan Press through Edelweiss.
Profile Image for Julie.
Author 6 books2,304 followers
April 24, 2024
Years after her son's beheading by ISIS became an international spectacle, Diane Foley reveals a mother's indescribable anguish at the murder and her courage in its aftermath. American Mother tells the story of James Foley's curious and courageous spirit, his capture, torture and eventual — perhaps inevitable — end at the hands of terrorists. It also tells the story of his mother's determination not to let the horrific death fade without consequence. Through Colum McCann's clear-eyed, searing prose, Diane's voice peals like a church bell on a winter morning, echoing with longing, warning, and hope.

Long after the headlines faded, the family and friends of James Foley — a freelance journalist committed to shining a spotlight on the atrocities of war — continued to seek justice for James and for all Americans held hostage by foreign entities, particularly journalists, who the U.S. government deems expendable. Diane Foley is unflinching in her criticism of the Obama administration and of the former president himself, who appears cold and perfunctory as he extends his condolences but refuses to accept any responsibility for James Foley's death (Foley, held hostage in Syria for two years along with journalists from several other Western nations, had to endure the crushing disappointment as French, Spanish and other European nationals were set free while he remained captive. A demonstration of the U.S. government's "we don't negotiate with terrorists"policy.).

Diane Foley also leans into her Christian faith to explore what forgiveness feels and looks like. The exploration eventually leads her to sit across the table from Alexanda Kotey, a British national turned ISIS radical, who was convicted of conspiring to murder James and three other journalist-hostages. Kotey is currently serving eight consecutive life sentences in a supermax prison in Colorado. Diane spent three days in conversation with Kotey, seeking to understand the man who was, in part, responsible for her son's murder, and to instill in him some understanding of a mother's grief.

American Mother is impossible to put down. McCann holds the tension like a live wire, weaving moments of grace with keening anger and sadness. It is a singular narrative that bears witness to the insanities of political extremism and the politics of justice. Beautifully rendered as both reportage and memoir, this is an exceptional read.
Profile Image for Tony.
1,031 reviews1,910 followers
April 29, 2024
I set aside other books so I could read this: a horrific story of an American journalist beheaded by ISIS, and "written" by Colum McCann, no less. But McCann is at most a kind of editor, a tidier-up; and there is no McCann magic here.

This is the victim's mother's telling, and as she admits: I am well aware of a mother's tendency to over-saint her child, especially one who is taken early.

This book did make me think a lot, but probably not in the way the authors intended. And I would expound, but that seems wrong, given the mother's loss. Well aware of the other, almost universal rave reviews, I understand I'm the bad guy here.
Profile Image for Alena.
1,059 reviews316 followers
April 6, 2024
I am shaken. I do not even know where to begin to describe, much less review this book. First, I need to say that I am in awe of the courage and grace and faith Diane Foley embodies while living a Mother's worst nightmare. I cannot imagine enduring years of one of my sons in captivity, much less their beheading becoming an international spectacle. To then turn all of that into something good and live the principle of forgiveness in facing the guilty men … if it were not all a true story I would accuse the author of stretching believability.
So all of that is to say I did not take the decision to read this book lightly. Why endure something that triggers all of my deepest fears? Why spend days walking alongside this remarkable woman? Why inevitably compare my shortcomings as a parent, a woman of faith, a social justice advocate, an American citizen? (Diane Foley has me beat on all fronts.)
There is one simple answer: Colum McCann.
I am an enormous fan of McCann´s writing and follow him on social media. When I saw his announcement of this publication and his passionate reasons for working on it, even knowing it would be published by a small press, I knew I wanted to support that effort.
My decision was richly rewarded. I read this with my heart in my throat, not only because of the story itself, but because of the beautiful prose. Together, Foley and McCann, pull me to the very heart of this American Mother, to the fear and hope and anger and grace.
"Optimism is far more difficult than pessimism. Optimism lives outside itself. Pessimism simply feeds off itself."
It is never easy, but it is hopeful. I am so glad to have trusted my gut and so grateful for the unlikely friendship that made this book possible.
Profile Image for Trudie.
652 reviews752 followers
July 23, 2024
Underwhelmed.
I came away thinking this would have been good as an essay in The Atlantic or similar. The opening and closing sequences are good but there is a lot of repetition in the middle and the writing style while clear is fairly pedestrian.
This is not to detract from the horrendous events that the mother of James Foley has gone through or to suggest that this wasn't thought-provoking. But I did have some issues with it that might be particular to me and my agnostic views. Maybe I was looking for a book about hostage taking in a broader context, perhaps written by an investigative journalist with no emotional attachments ... this plainly is not that book !
Profile Image for Carmel Hanes.
Author 1 book177 followers
June 6, 2024
What can one think about a book detailing an atrocity? About our inhumanity to one another? About the lack of safety in a world for those just trying to do a job or help others out?

Well, wait. It wasn't just about that. It was about a man, an ordinary human who takes extraordinary risks as he follows his heart's lead around that unsafe world. And the mother who lost him to that unsafe world.

As I learned about who James Foley was and what he strove to do (I do remember this news story, but didn't know much about him), I thought about so many others who have the courage and determination to follow similar paths. I admire them. I'm thankful to those who can put themselves in harm's way, propelled by some idea of greater good. I'm pretty sure I'd fall short if ever put to the test.

I think I'd also fall short of this mother, who did all she could to work with a reluctant and obstructive bureaucracy, solicit support and help, hang onto her faith, show up for trials, meet with her son's killer, work to forgive, and create a legacy in his name that works to improve the things that may have played a part in his death, or at least didn't help prevent it.

An interesting listen on audio, adding to my wishes for a different world to exist in; one where hatred and inhumane abuse could be eradicated. And here it is the anniversary of D day, and look how far we haven't come.
37 reviews
February 25, 2024
Jim Foley had every reason not to go to Syria. He had already been held hostage once—44 days in Libya. He had solid job offers in America. He had a loving family. He understood Syria was a chaotic, unpredictable war zone. He knew that as a freelance journalist, he would have no support on the ground. But the story beckoned.
We know what happened next. As McCann writes, “A desert landscape. An orange jumpsuit. A man in black, only his eyes apparent. ‘A Message to America.’” The video of Foley’s 2014 beheading at the hands of ISIS represents “an empire wounded.”
But what unfolds in McCann’s new book—American Mother, coauthored with Jim’s mother, Diane—is beyond the scope of the imagination. And the story enters the world at a time when it’s so desperately needed.
Most war stories are about soldiers or refugees. But this is a story of someone 5,000 miles away from the conflict. Diane Foley is not your stereotypical hero. She’s a mom of five. She navigates a marriage that’s not always easy. She works as a nurse, guiding her family through financial struggles. Her story, indeed, is of the everyday American.
It would be easy to say that when Jim was captured, Diane “transformed” into an advocate: raising money for a potential ransom, flying to D.C. to lobby Congressmen, and gathering intelligence about Jim’s whereabouts. But, as McCann illuminates, Diane did not transform. Despite being thrust into a position of advocacy, she maintains her values, especially her religious faith.
Diane’s trust in God, and by extension her belief in humanity, leads to a shocking moment that bookends this biography. She meets Jim’s killer and, over many days in a Northern Virginia prison, hears his life story. She is not naive. She knows that Alexanda Kotey, despite his sweet talk, helped murder her son. But she still holds empathy in her heart. When another one of Jim’s killers was sentenced to life in prison, Diane recognized that he “had a mother too” and “lowered my head and said a prayer for her.”
I read the draft of American Mother about a year ago and have been thinking about it ever since. Even more so since October 7, when hostage-taking reentered the public consciousness. In the book, you’ll read an intimate portrait of the life of a hostage—the psychological torture of both detainees and their families. You’ll watch U.S. hostage policy change. You’ll see how truth is malleable, and how every side believes the facts are with them.
At a time when so many of us are doomscrolling our way through the ongoing heartbreak in the Middle East, I encourage you to pick up this book and engage in Diane Foley’s story.
If my endorsement isn’t enough, my mom’s favorite, Sting, says the book “will shake your soul out,” and accurately describes it as “a thriller, a memoir, a mystery; a portrait of forgiveness, and a literary song of grace” all wrapped into one.
Profile Image for Kasa Cotugno.
2,755 reviews587 followers
April 29, 2024
Devastating. There is no word in any language for the loss of a child by a parent. There is widow, widower, orphan. But not when the natural order is upended. Diane Foley not only lost a son in the most horrific way possible, but met the man face to face who had perpetrated the deed. Jim Foley was a journalist, a seeker of truth who felt it imperative to inform the American people what was happening in Syria and of the actions of Isis when he and a number of other reporters were captured and taken hostage. After 18 months of grueling captivity, Jim was murdered publicly. This brave book, written ten years after those events, portrays Diane's story, how the family coped and how she became an activist, establishing a foundation bearing her son's name that fights for American hostages held abroad. In the audible version, Jamie Lee Curtis reads Diane's words, evoking the passion and in some instances outrage she experienced. Highly recommended but with caution.
Profile Image for Q.
480 reviews
November 19, 2024
I was deeply moved by this book in so many ways. And was upset at how Diane and Jim and family were treated by the US government. A lot of thoughts are fluttering about after finishing it. And there are many things I want to go back and listen to again. I listened to the audiobook with Jamie Lee Curtis excellently narrating Diane Foley and Colum McCann the author of this fine book narrated some portions of it. It was treat to hear his voice.


Diane Foley is a remarkable compassionate woman. She listens well and doesn’t shy away from action. She was a mother, sister, wife, daughter, grandmother, nurse and thru her grief she founded the James Foley organization to help hostages and others.

Her oldest son was Jim Foley a freelance journalist and a hostage when he was killed- beheaded in the middle east in 2012. He had already spent 4 months in a Qaddafi prison. Qaddafi was killed in 2011. The USA and Britain did not help families negotiate for release for freelance journalists and some health workers and others that served those in need or in emergency situations abroad. Diane said:“ They didn’t take care of all their own.” This fact and the telling of the politics around Jim’s death was disturbing to me. Bush Cheney and their Iraqi oil greedy war planted so many bad seeds in the world. It ultimately impacted the treatment of Jim Foley and his family and too many other people in the world

Diane found ways to use her grief in constructive and healing ways to bring humanitarian change within herself and family and for many, many more beyond her family. Her faith was beautifully deep and sustaining. I was inspired by her.

Sometimes when I look at impactful events in the world I find having a timeline context helpful. Jim’s death was 11 years after the assault on the Twin towers in New York City. Guatanemo Bay was used for the torture of “terrorists and “extremists”. The conditions there were hideous. This horrendous way of treating peope doesn’t do anything to decrease hate in the world - it only brings more. How can we expect others to treat US citizens and other countries citizens humanely when we - the US- don’t always do that? ! The anger after 9-11 was huge. The anger for USA going into of Iraq was huge and within the Middle East.

Diane met with Jim’s killer (Coddy) one on one in Virginia. Not an easy thing to do at all but she knew it was important for her to do so and listen to him and also it was what Jim would have done. Coddy had 2 daughters in the camps and a daughter in England he’ld never seen. And a mother who Diane felt compassion toward. He was British. Part of the deal if he spoke to Diane was that he would spend his life in a prison in US or Britain not a Qaddafi or Guatonemo style one nor death row. Diane asked for humanity.

Jim had been held prisoner first by Qaddafi before the Beatles. The Name Beatles had nothing to with the Fab 4. They got the name because they beat people. Per Coddy “they were recruited. It was religious and he did what he was told to do.

Diane loved her son and grew over time to appreciate his moral compass in navigating his life and how he valued and cared about people. I so admire how she transcended her grief through the work she did raising funds for the James Foley Foundation. And I admired her for telling the President his treatment of the situation was wrong . She was disappointed in him. He listened to her and made some important changes. President Biden put them back into place when he became President. And I do hope someone is working to bring the journalist home - who was just last week (end oh July 2024) given 16 or was it 18 years in Putin land.

I am inspired and grateful to both Diane Foley and Colm McCann’s for their integrity, deep compassion, words and writing, and the care and teamwork that brought this book forth.

Profile Image for Martha☀.
912 reviews54 followers
June 11, 2024
Just picking this book up is an assertion to explore the dark side of political and religious turmoil. James Foley, an activist and freelance journalist, was beheaded by ISIS. His mother, Diane, found out about his gruesome end by seeing the images on social media. It took 3 days for the official word to come to her. 3 days ~ wondering if it were true or perhaps a trick of photo shop. Truly awful.

In this well-woven account, Diane shares her stories of James, his role as a journalist, the aftermath of his public death and the conversations she had with his captor. Somehow Diane is able to show grace, love and empathy towards the man who held, beat, and tortured her son and participated in his beheading. She eloquently relays her fury for the lack of policy and protocol regarding US civilians who are captured and held hostage in other countries. And, more so, for the lies she was told, that the US government was 'doing everything possible' or that their 'hands were tied' when neither was true. If he had been a soldier, the outcome would have been completely different. For a warring country that continues to try to control other nations, the US takes a hands-off role when its civilians are caught in the cross-fire.

This is a heavy read but if Diane can be courageous enough to tell it, we should be brave enough to read it.
Profile Image for Melanie.
Author 8 books1,407 followers
January 25, 2025
“This book is not mine.  Nor is it just Diane’s.  It’s a book about journalists and storytellers and how they join the world together.  It’s also a book about a mother’s uncompromising love, and not just one mother, but a nation, or nations, of them.  It’s also a book about a time that seems so far away, and yet it penetrates every waking moment of where we are now.  Not only that, but it is a book about those others, around the world, who have been, and are being, kidnapped and held hostage, or wrongfully detained.  There are many of them.  They have another hero in their midst – Diane Foley and her cohorts in the James W. Foley Legacy  Foundation who have spent the past years working tirelessly to help alleviate their plight.”
~~ Colum McCann

An eulogy. A song. A plea. A wave in the dark.

An American freelance journalist named James Foley is pictured reading a copy of Colum McCann’s novel “Let The Great World Spin”. He is later kidnapped and executed in the desert in front of the whole world.

A bereaved mother is given the chance to meet the murderer of her son over three days in a Virginia courthouse, seven years after his death.

A heartbroken novelist offers to become a “story whisperer” for her tale of grief and fortitude.

What ensues is a searing and transcendent account, the weaving of two voices obsessed with grace and moral courage. Obsessed with the truth, the first thing that we lose in war.

What emerges is the trembling, stubborn outline of an army of ghosts on the horizon line. Journalists. Aid workers. Ambulance drivers. Translators. Volunteer doctors and nurses.

Whose daily disappearances continue to haunt our everyday.

And what takes shape is a mother, who becomes a mother to us all.
Profile Image for Stephanie C.
393 reviews87 followers
August 8, 2024
“Listening is the quiet soul of storytelling.”

Without a doubt, this will be one of the most difficult books you will ever read. Colum McCann has the unparalleled knack of creating and bestowing empathy with his characters and readers, but this time, the character is Diane Foley, the mother of James Foley - the journalist who was gruesomely beheaded by Islamic terrorists in 2014. McCann breathes life into James’ mission to bring the truth to the world in conflict areas so that people can see and know what is actually happening in war-torn countries. More importantly, Foley wanted us to come together in the compassion and suffering of our shared humanity, and to accomplish this, he was willing to sacrifice himself for the sake of making sure the full truth, in all its facets, was known.

His mother tells his story through McCann, and we too come alongside her suffering in a compassionate, empathetic, and agonizing way that fully honors her son. It is not easy to walk with her in real time through the 2-year journey of knowing her son was kidnapped, tortured, and ultimately beheaded. It is not easy to feel her frustration and helplessness because our government adamantly refused to intervene per the foreign policy of not negotiating with terrorists. It is not easy to plunge into grief with her and her family.

Most difficult, though, is the conversations Diane had with the man who horrifically murdered her son, even visiting him in prison to extend compassion and empathy as well to know his story - just like her son would have wanted. That will STRETCH you to the limits of yourself because you will not want to know the enemy’s side or feel one iota of compassion for him. Yet this is exactly what McCann does in all of his books by leading you to empathize - or at least understand - the “other side” so that you can see from each other’s perspective rather than the us vs. them mentality that pervades our culture.

I know when I pick up McCann’s works that I will become a better version of myself, and thus become more human and more understanding of the complex myriad of suffering within our shared humanity. In this, McCann has succeeded.
Profile Image for Kate Hyland.
52 reviews1 follower
May 7, 2024
This was so beautifully written. I found myself tearing up reading this on the commute to work. Diane Foley is strong and amazing, I’m grateful to know her! Buy this book and support a great cause!
Profile Image for Kristine .
1,001 reviews312 followers
Want to read
May 28, 2024
I don’t know how I missed this new book that came out in March. Colum McCann’s First Work of Non-Fiction as he uses Diane Foley’s voice about her son, a reporter who was murdered by a man involved with ISIS. She has the opportunity to meet him. Imagine this will be quite intense.

11 reviews
March 20, 2024
American Mother shares the story of Diane Foley, the mother of journalist James Foley who was kidnapped and murdered by ISIS in Syria. I, along with many Americans, vividly remember the images of Foley and other American hostages kneeling in orange jumpsuits under a looming ISIS terrorist. Before reading American Mother, I never considered the United States government's role (or lack thereof) in recovering American hostages or the implications of the famous American mantra: “we do not negotiate with terrorists.” Learning about how European hostages were released through negotiation made me question America’s steadfastness in rejecting negotiation. I found it particularly ironic how a failed hostage rescue operation likely cost more money than paying a ransom. The essential role of journalists entering dangerous areas warrants greater protection and prioritization from our government.

Aside from learning about the intricacies of hostage situations, I found Diane Foley’s positivity and determination in using her suffering to make a positive change inspiring. I admire her ability to face Kotey (whose letters and dialogue I found hollow) and have a composed conversation - I know I could not do the same.

Overall, I found American Mother to be an inspiring story that made me question our government's policies concerning American hostage recovery.

Quotes:

“Imagine if the United States had organized a coalition of nations to negotiate. Imagine if they could have used their wits rather than trying brute force. There is a reason why the concepts brute force and ignorance are so often lumped together.” (153)

“When it came to hostage situations, the U.S. supposedly had a non-negotiation, non-concession policy, but that was just another word for paralysis. We were wedded to policies, but not to our people.” (164)

“There is so much about America and our government that I have learned to question over the years—our assuredness, our isolation, our arrogance, our ability to turn justice into revenge—but this was the benevolent face of justice that I was encountering. This was America too.” (208)

““You know the thing is, there’s physical courage, right?” he said towards the end of the tape. “For some reason I have physical courage. But really when you think about it that’s nothing compared to moral courage. If I don’t have the moral courage to challenge authority, to challenge the system, to write about things that are going to have maybe reprisals on my career, if I don’t have that moral courage, we don’t have journalism.” And then she watches him pause a moment to study the microphone in his hand, take it down from his lips, let the words hang there: “So I just think we’ve got to make sure we have the moral courage.”” (232-233)
Profile Image for Bodo.
163 reviews
Read
March 5, 2025
I'm so sorry to both of these incredible people but this should have been an essay.....
Profile Image for David Berlin.
189 reviews6 followers
May 20, 2024
Co-written with the Irish novelist Colum McCann, American Mother goes on to tell the story of Diane Foley’s version of the before, during and after of her son’s kidnapping and death is clear-eyed, unflinching, and full of anger and sadness.

Her son, James Foley (age 39), was an American journalist taken hostage in 2012 while reporting in northwestern Syria. After 22 months in captivity, he was beheaded by the Islamic State group (ISIS). To westerners, the public beheading of James Foley in the Syrian desert was grim confirmation of the brutality of Islamic State and, more specifically, of the cruelty of a trio of British militants nicknamed “the Beatles” They claimed it was in retaliation for America’s air strikes in Iraq. His was the first in a series of executions of Western hostages by jihadists that were put online for all to see. While Foley’s captors used the image of him kneeling in an orange jumpsuit as part of their anti-American propaganda, for the Western world it became a symbol of Isis brutality.

American Mother, by James’ mother Diane Foley, is a corrective of sorts, an attempt to fade out that image and replace it with scenes from James’ upbringing as the eldest of five in an all-American, church-going family, who loved to read by torchlight in his bed. After a spell teaching in his early twenties, Foley fell into journalism where he dedicated himself to telling the stories of the victims of war. He had found a career he was passionate about. It seemed to give him a sense of meaning. It expanded his sense of ambition. He could combine his natural listening skills and his writing talent with his sense of social justice.

After being caught with marijuana in his backpack, he lost his job with a military news organization. Ashamed but undeterred, he went freelance and headed to Libya – where, two months in, he was captured by Gaddafi loyalists. He was able to get released.

The experience might have given him pause; a colleague was killed during the abduction. But, once released, he was game for more frontline action. In Syria, the taxi he was travelling in was forced off the road. His captors seemed to think he was a CIA man, not a journalist. Hearing the news, and knowing his ordeal was bound to be worse than the first kidnapping, his family wanted to do something. The FBI told them to hold their tongues.

During James captivity, Diane said, “My heart had been kidnapped. My time too. Still, I felt there was some hope on the horizon. Such is the logic of longing. We hang on whatever thread we can find.” The US government, insistent that it would not pay ransoms to terrorists, would do nothing for her family; it was hellish living in fear of the sound of the telephone; the waiting and the wondering could drive a person mad.

Eventually after 22 months of captivity Diane gets the news that her son was killed and beheaded on film. Diane never watched the beheading. The killer is caught. My reason for wanting to read this depressing story is that a plea bargain is worked out, and Diane wants to confront the incarcerated Isis killer Alexanda Kotey. The encounter between mother and murderer that opens the book is written in the third person. There is one final meeting after the first encounter that is near the end of the book.

Faced for a second time with a shackled Kotey in a prison visiting room, she notices the muscles he has developed and feels both resentful that he is alive and healthy, and glad that he’s being treated well, for two wrongs do not make a right.

Diane Foley internal dialogue is engaging because she can hold two contradictory thoughts at once. She balances ideas that should matter to us all: of compassion, of forgiveness, of understanding.

She wasn’t angry with the “misguided obstinacy” of a “shortsighted, heartless and arrogant” administration for not acting as France, Spain and Italy had done and paying for hostages’ release. She wasn’t angry with her son, a man of moral courage who saw journalism as a spiritual mission. But she did wonder why he took such risks: “Why didn’t you just stay here? … Was it too suburban? Was it not enough?”

This is the victim's mother's telling, and as she admits: I am well aware of a mother's tendency to over-saint her child, especially one who is taken early. It was also baffling that he was kidnapped once and luckily was able to make it out. So, why risk that again? And mom here is trying to compel us that it is our duty to expend everything to get him back.

It’s strange to say it, but as heinous as James Foley’s death was – his captors beheaded him, an act they recorded on camera – the reader is perhaps more shocked when three months after Jim’s death, Diane is invited to meet President Obama, who she voted for, at the White House. He is cold. His words – “Jim was my highest priority” – have a hollow ring. Later that day, she recalls, he was photographed goofing around on a golf course.

My motivation for wanting to read American Mother was the story of Diane’s interaction with Kotey. It was only a small part of the book in the first and last chapters. This is a sad story of a mother losing her son to a kidnapping and eventual execution. The build up to the second meeting in the final chapter was underwhelming. There’s a banality to it considering all the shock and anxiety that took place before. The final meeting with Kotey, after he sent her two letters, wasn’t the breakthrough she hoped for; she was perturbed by his aloofness and unwavering self-belief as he denied being brainwashed.

This mother-and-son story isn’t over yet. Diane has continued her campaign to advocate for hostage victims and their families, working closely with successive US administrations to improve policy. Since James’ death, around 100 American hostages have been freed and reunited with their families.
Profile Image for .•º°༺×Ṩสℛสℋ×༻°º•..
305 reviews17 followers
March 22, 2025
How can you give stars to a writing about someone's real life horrific experience? So my review only reflects the writing and style, not the content as such.

I am always taken by surprise when I read about the urge of humans to make something good out of the depth of horror, loss, injustice and trauma. I know this memoir might have also been a healing journey for the mother, and who am I to deny that? For myself as a reader I sometimes missed the other side of healing, the naming and leaving it as it is, without redemption, without interpreting it as something good or meant to be, or trying to reconcile it with finding the good in the bad and finding oneself again after tragedy. Sometimes bad things are just that: Fu***** bad and cruel.
I wish the family strength to continue and hold each other upright. I am truly sorry this happened to your son.
Profile Image for Cassy.
398 reviews878 followers
February 12, 2025
Who recommended this book to me: Festival schedule, then realization that I should learn more about Jim Foley and foreign hostage situations generally

I would recommend this book to: Those seeking to broaden their worldview with a tale of great sadness, bureaucratic frustration, compassion and fundamental questions about justice and violence (although could have used a tighter editing phase)
Profile Image for Sandra The Old Woman in a Van.
1,434 reviews72 followers
June 15, 2024
I’m glad I read this memoir as I learned a lot about the experiences of families enduring a family member’s hostage taking. From a content perspective it was a solid 4 stars. But the writing wasn’t engaging to me. For such an emotional story, its telling felt clinical and numbed. Maybe that’s Diane’s state now. Worth a read if you seek to understand others’ circumstances.
Profile Image for Ava.
110 reviews
Read
February 20, 2025
An inspiring story. McCann brilliantly channels Diane Foley's voice.
Profile Image for Tania.
77 reviews
August 17, 2024
The themes of forgiveness and understanding are explored by both authors so fervently and unstintingly. Deeply moving.
Profile Image for Mélanie.
912 reviews188 followers
February 21, 2024
Colum McCann prête sa plume à Diane Foley, mère du journaliste James Foley assassiné en Syrie en 2014. De la rencontre avec cette femme, à la confrontation avec l'un des ravisseurs, l'auteur irlandais raconte la bataille de cette mère, face au gouvernement américain, et à l'espoir qui a besoin d'être nourri, proche de l'hagiographie.
Néanmoins, la grande part religieuse de la mère, ayant une famille "américaine" qui convoque Dieu tout en faisant carrière dans l'armée m'a détaché du texte.
Profile Image for Cat.
489 reviews23 followers
May 18, 2024
~ 3.5 stars ~

A poignant story that had a message to share. The writing was beautiful, especially the passage about living in limbo and waiting for the phone to ring. I thought it explained what the Foley family had to experience well.

Unfortunately, it was verrrry American and quite repetitive
Profile Image for David Stanley.
32 reviews
March 25, 2024
A compelling and at times difficult read.

After her son’s murder Diane Foley could have chosen to become bitter towards the US government and its various agencies in their lack of effort to rescue her captured son Jim Foley. She however did the opposite and became an advocate to enact change.

Colin McCann tells the story of a grieving mother who is steadfast in her efforts to get to the truth. A journey of strength, resilience, and contradicting emotions as Diane not only recounts the years leading up to and after Jim’s death, but also what it was like to sit on the opposite side of a table from one of the men responsible.

*4.5 stars*
112 reviews2 followers
September 17, 2024
This memoir is not great, but it demonstrates how difficult it is to write a powerful memoir. Diane Foley, who has suffered an excruciating loss, writes of her grief, hers is an angry and bitter grief, and she has a list of people she blames. Unlike great memoirs, she is unable to find the commonality between her experience and the experience of others. She points fingers, but does not place any responsibility on her son, who went to a dangerous place at a time when the US government told journalists not to go. Her point seems to be that the US government should have upended its foreign policy to save her son. She lacks insight or perspective and Colin McCann cannot save her.
Profile Image for Emily Nemtsov.
2 reviews2 followers
April 2, 2024
Remarkable depiction of the story that changed the Foley’s life, and my family’s and mine forever. Thank you for putting your heart and soul into this, Diane, and for tributing to my cousin Steven as well as your dear Jim. This book was written beautifully and highly recommend this to be read by all, to keep those victimized by terrorism alive, for the light they brought to the world, and not the way that their innocent lives were taken in pure darkness.
Profile Image for Theresa Timlin.
349 reviews5 followers
March 11, 2024
If I could give a book 6 stars I would. In the gifted hands of Colum MCann, this mother’s story is propulsive, heart-rending, inspiring …. Yes, it is the story of the mother of journalist Jim Foley, beheaded by Isis in 2014, and of her moral courage in moving beyond her life as a mother, grandmother, nurse from a small New Hampshire community to become an activist. It is also the story of the failure of the US and British governments to adequately respond when Isis took journalists and aid workers until after the beheadings started. It is the story of the journalists who risk their lives to tell the truth to their American readers about the human costs of war (it is not lost on me that truth-telling by journalists is endangered in the current era). It is the story of the horrors that can be perpetrated in the name of religious faith - but also about how Diane Foley’s faith has continued to sustain her in times of unbearable grief (my own experience of religious faith has not been the same, but I have the deepest respect for her and her reliance on prayer). The book opens and closes with Foley’s visits with one of the captured Isis soldiers (terrorists?) now in the hands of the US justice system, and her ability to live with the contradictions of her own emotions in those instances.
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