Secrets of the Sun: A Memoir

by Mako Yoshikawa

Mako Yoshikawa’s father, Shoichi, was a man of contradictions. He grew up fabulously wealthy in prewar Japan but spent his final years living in squalor; he was a proper Japanese man who craved society’s approval yet cross-dressed; he was a brilliant Princeton University physicist and renowned nuclear fusion researcher, yet his career withered as his severe bipolar disorder tightened its grip. And despite his generosity and charisma, he was often violent and cruel toward those closest to him. Yoshikawa adored him, feared him, and eventually cut him out of her life, but after he died, she was driven to try to understand this extraordinarily complex man. In Secrets of the Sun, her search takes her through everything from the Asian American experience of racism to her father’s dedication to fusion energy research, from mental illness to the treatment of women in Japan, and more. Yoshikawa gradually discovers a life filled with secrets, searching until someone from her father’s past at last provides the missing piece in her the story of his childhood. Secrets of the Sun is about a daughter’s mission to uncover her father’s secrets and to find closure in the shadow of genius, mental illness, and violence.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Japan, Biography Memoir, Japanese Literature

164 pages, Kindle Edition

Published February 8, 2024

About the author

Mako Yoshikawa is the author of the novels Once Removed and One Hundred and One Ways. Her essays have been published in LitHub, Harvard Review, Southern Indiana Review, Missouri Review, and Best American Essays, among other places. She is a professor of creative writing and directs the MFA program at Emerson College. She lives in Boston and Baltimore.

Reviews

[Hope (bookedwithhope) · Rating 5 out of 5]

This has to be one of the most powerful memoirs I've read to date.

Told in multiple vignettes, Mako Yoshikawa searches for the truth behind her father's violent ways. Mako's father, Shoichi, has always been causing chaos in her life, and his death is no exception. The day before her long-awaited and unexpected wedding, she receives a call that her father is dead. The father she has barely had a relationship with in the last 20 years.

Shoichi Yoshikawa was an abusive father and husband but also a renowned nuclear fusion researcher. He was raised in a proper Japanese home but also cross-dressed behind closed doors. He also had bipolar disorder. In many ways, Shoichi was a man of contradiction, and Mako uses her writing to discover who Shoichi truly was behind his many different faces.

So many people in Shoichi's life wrote off the more negative aspects of his character due to his mental illness, but Shoichi has always wondered if there was something more behind it. Through her journey of discovery, Mako learns that Shoichi, like every person on earth, has layers, and he was more complex than just his bipolar disorder or violence.

I cried with Mako and rejoiced as she came to her final conclusion and connected with people who helped give her closure. If you love complex and extremely compelling memoirs, I beg you to pick this one up. It is wholly worth it.

[artie]

picked up this book because it seemed eerily familiar to my own experience of grieving my mentally ill and absent father. the beginning was really compelling, but there was something slightly repetitive and stilted about the latter half. i think this could be due to its non-linearity and the fact that many of the essays were previously published elsewhere. very thankful to mako for sharing this story and for the validation it gave me in my own grief

[anna · Rating 5 out of 5]

a beautifully written memoir told in several vignettes. a daughter searching for answers about her father, trying to make peace (or perhaps justify her anger) surrounding her father’s death. i could feel the franticness, frustration, and confusion swell in me as i read each story. i plan on rereading certain sections again before moving on :’)

[Raquel · Rating 4 out of 5]

A lyrical and meditative nonlinear exploration of the grief that comes from having had a complicated, abusive, difficult parent. Yoshikawa explores her father's life in a series of vignettes that span time and place, reflecting on and pondering over what may have led to her father's complexity and cruelty as a person. He was a brilliant scientist who felt slighted by the Nobel committee; he had bipolar disorder and was often physically violent toward his family: was it the illness or just his personality that led to his abuse? Yoshikawa talks to many people who knew her father in various contexts, explores her memories, and conducts research in her quest for answers.

There aren't any, ultimately; the book shows that there are many questions and that perhaps people are just complicated and complex and a product of everything they experience. In a way, this was a more satisfying conclusion to the reading experience than if it had come together tidily, for this is how life is: no easy, neat conclusions.

As a reader, I do find myself wishing the author had delved a bit more deeply into the questions around her father's cross-dressing, as that section felt more superficial and less integrated into the rest of the narrative (it also felt like that facet of her father was less integrated into the overall picture I have of him as a character/person), and I also would have loved to know more about what drew her to writing in the context of the story's themes. (For example, was storytelling and its study a way to help escape abuse, a way to make sense of it, etc.? It can often be so fascinating to know more about what draws writers to that craft.) But overall, this book, while short, went deep and made me think and feel, always my favorite impact of memoir.

(Disclaimer: the author is a colleague.)

[Joshie Nicole readwithjoshie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to the publisher, Ohio State Press for my gifted copy.

This memoir is an exploration of grief told in non-linear vignettes. The style of storytelling is very effective; jumping around from memory to memory, searching for answers and meaning in the smallest of moments. Very reminiscent of grief itself.

Yoshikawa does not shy away from the pain and raw emotions that she feels toward her father. This memoir does not come with closure and peace, at least not entirely, and I appreciate seeing this side of things after the loss of a parent.

Her father, Shoichi, was a brilliant scientist working on the problem of fusion; he was also beset by mental illness. Yoshikawa experienced years of abuse and turmoil, as did her mother and other family members. His was a complex and complicated life, and Yoshikawa’s journey to seek answers does not necessarily yield all she had hoped, but it seems that her journey took a more introspective and self-reflective turn.

The prose is gorgeous. There were some facets of the story I wish I’d heard more about, or that were given more attention, but overall this was a beautiful, heart breaking read.

I recommend reading if you enjoy memoirs!

[Rob Sabal · Rating 5 out of 5]

In Secrets of the Sun, author Mako Yoshikawa seeks answers to the mystery of her father and along the way answers questions that all of us share about love, duty and forgiveness. A moving and courageous memoir. Many positive reviews and interviews at www.makoyoshikawa.com

[Waxwingsmelting]

A fascinating meditation on generational trauma, abuse, empathy, mental illness, narcissism, obsession, depression, post-war Japan, self reflection and the struggle of forgiveness.

Written in non-linear vignettes chronicling the author, Mako Yoshikawa’s journey which is triggered by her fathers death to try and understand her former physicist father, Shoichi, and the abuse he inflicted on her, her sisters and their mother. The book weaves between childhood memories, talks with family both distant and close as well as some with former colleagues of her father, her learnings from researching mental illnesses and depression and her own complex internal feelings as more became revealed to her.

This book also has what any great piece of literature has, well-written sentences, sentences that have meaning because of what was under them, heartfelt and thoughtful passages that come at just the right time. I would share some quotes but I just returned my copy to the library today. I picked it up on a whim looking for Anais Nin diaries and happy I did. So good I might buy a copy.

Brilliant!

[Dru · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's tough to look back at someone who blatantly transformed your life with turmoil. You are not only trying to find who this person was before the bipolar disorder kicked in and after. Mako did a great job of finding the good memories, albiet I wanted more. She sometimes dove deeper into things that I would have loved to have read more.

I was curious about the neglected marriage, the new-found aunt, or even if she asked her mother about her aunt's claim of being "well off."

You get an excellent interiority here, and I will say I know what she means about not painting someone as an a**hole.

Also, Mako is my professor, and I am grateful to have learned more about her and seen her nonfiction writing style.

[G.P. Gottlieb · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mako Yoshikawa had a difficult relationship with her Japanese-born father. He was a flawed father and husband, but a brilliant Princeton University physicist and nuclear fusion researcher until mental illness shattered his career. She cut him out of her life when his abuse became unbearable, but after he died, Mako began asking questions about how her father came to be the kind of person he was, and this beautiful memoir emerged.

I was honored to interview the author for a New Books Network interview - https://rb.gy/s3jea6

[Twee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely a great read. A daughter’s journey to find the truth and to heal with the aftermath of her father’s life that had scarred hers with abusiveness, bipolar disorder, and a not too subtle message about race and prejudice in America is well documented by Mako and her writing. Highly recommended!

[Jessica Treadway · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a beautifully written and brave book about a daughter trying to understand a father who was brilliant, troubled, and complicated—to say the least. I found it extremely moving, and admired very much the author's honesty in confronting her own past and that of her family. Highly recommend.

[Sauman Teng · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of my fav books of 2024, so grateful I picked it up at the library on a whim. Such a gem, complex and powerful, there were several times I put it down to be like woah and reflect on the writing/relationships/life. Also sorry for the Goodreads spam, I need to be better ab rating books as I go

[Ginny · Rating 3 out of 5]

A small compact novel, well written, on heavy subjects: mental illness, abuse, racism, misaligned love and family relationships.

[Lisa Heinsohn · Rating 3 out of 5]

Quick read

[Nancy Jamieson Wanner · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book kept my attention but really didn't go anywhere. Ok read.

[Anna Persky · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a beautiful memoir about a daughter searching to understand her father and herself. The author weaves effortlessly between memories and her own thoughts.

[danielle nuttridge · Rating 4 out of 5]

another banger recommendation from the brookline public library

[Maura Smith · Rating 4 out of 5]

Missing a lil something but I can't put my finger on what 🤔

[Peggii · Rating 3 out of 5]

Easy read
Some pretty deep subject we’re covered
For some reasons, the flow of the book did not do it for me.

[A.]

dnfing because this was fine but not gripping enough to keep going with

[Carol · Rating 3 out of 5]

Repetitive because of the essay format.