Plot: ⭐️⭐️
Characters: ⭐️.5
Suspense/Thrill: ⭐️⭐️
Spice: ⭐️⭐️
Overall: ⭐️⭐️
[Very mild spoilers included]
Debut books are always a mixed bag—you never know what you're going to get. While I respect the effort and courage it takes to write and publish a story, this one feels more like a rough draft than a finished product.
Let’s address the obvious: the massive walls of text, grammar and punctuation issues, and awkward formatting make this a really tough read. The pacing is all over the place too. At just 88 pages, it’s no surprise things felt rushed, but it’s more than that. The story doesn’t take the time to really develop its plot or characters. A good editor could’ve done wonders here.
The main character, Ivy, is supposed to be a bright criminology student, but her actions don’t back that up. She runs headfirst into danger repeatedly, makes questionable choices, and somehow ends up as the killer’s accomplice and love interest—all in less than five days. It’s hard to buy into her transformation, and the timeline doesn’t add up. The rest of the characters aren’t much better. Their reactions and decisions don’t feel realistic, especially considering they’re dealing with murder and betrayal.
Speaking of the murder mystery element—it’s not much of a mystery. The foreshadowing is way too obvious, and I figured out who the killers were almost immediately. For a suspense or horror story, that’s a problem. The ending was also pretty unsatisfying, leaving me feeling more frustrated than anything else.
Then there’s the romance subplot, which includes some light BDSM elements. The problem is, there’s no real trust or depth in the relationship to make it believable. It reads like, “I trust him because he hasn’t killed me yet, and he thinks I’m hot.” That’s not enough to make this dynamic work, and it honestly comes off as under-researched and cringy.
Overall, this novella just isn’t ready for prime time. It reads like a first draft that needed a lot more polishing before being published. There are some interesting ideas here, but they aren’t fully developed, and the execution just isn’t there yet.
To the author: Don’t give up. Writing and publishing a book is a huge accomplishment, even if it doesn’t land perfectly. Take this as a learning experience—get some feedback, work with an editor, and keep growing. You’ve got potential, but this story needed more time and effort to reach it.