Her Last Cigarette Yesterday

by Allene Allanigue

Two neuroscientists—Poppy and Ylona—create a technology that can potentially address deteriorating memories in dementia. They need help in developing an effective method to retrieve memories and find Mica, a psych grad student. Working together on the breakthrough procedure reawakens ghouls of the past. Mica discovers a string that ties their pasts, revealing what Poppy intends to use the technology for.

Part psychological drama, part soft science fiction, Her Last Cigarette Yesterday is a meditative revenge plot that imagines the future of our memories in the backdrop of the cruelty that surrounds us and the grief that lingers within us.

Genres: Queer

248 pages, Paperback

Published January 1, 2023

Reviews

[Mark Fermill · Rating 5 out of 5]

"We can't force ourselves to forgive someone who doesn't deserve any forgiveness. Time cannot heal all wounds. It just doesn't."

Her Last Cigarette Yesterday is one of the best novels I've read this year! It's about a development of a technology that can clone memories in hopes of curing dementia--which is already an intriguing premise on its own--but as you read through, you'll realize the book offers you way deeper than that. You'll grieve along with the characters, you'll experience their pain and their past traumas, and you'll root for what they are fighting for.

The book centers about grief. One by one, we learned about each character's past, how, even though they have different experiences and fields, grief is what links them together.

Mica is my favorite. She's the embodiment of a strong and independent woman despite having a certain brokenness deep inside of her that she only wanted to carry on her own. There were many points in the book that I would pause and would like to give her a hug. She had suffered so much and I admire her for bravely persevering.

Poppy, who I doubted at the start as to what makes her interesting, stole the spotlight right at the third act. I cried after witnessing what happened to her. No one should have experienced what she had experienced. When she stood up against the one who did it, boy, I was cheering! Yes, Poppy, that person does not deserve forgiveness!

I liked how the book carefully addressed sensitive topics such as sexual assault and even showed how our country was poorly treating its victims. I liked how it gave us a vision on what we could do to fix it, albeit fiction, we could still hope in the future of that technology's possibility.

There are only a few minor things that bothered me in this book:
- The mention of "revenge plot" in the synopsis is a bit spoilery. Even just mentioning it here in the review might spoil others too. (My bad.)
- The revelation about Poppy's connection to a character whose name starts with K felt off. (Can't reveal the name, because it's a spoiler). Uhm, I dunno. I just felt that their connection was a bit plot-convenient.

But overall, it's a great read! It's something that must be read by many! It truly deserves all the praise it's getting. And you can really tell that it's a book written with thorough research. I bet the author spent so many years in carefully writing this book. If not, then that's even more admirable. What a talent!

If you're not yet convinced on how good this book is, please know that I'm writing this review at 2 AM even though I still have work tomorrow. Yup. I willingly sacrificed a few hours of my sleep just to finish writing this review. That's how good this is!

[Neil Franz · Rating 4 out of 5]

Healing.

[Richmond Camero · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I was halfway through the book, I had a visual image: the diverse cast of characters in a circle, passing a cigarette from one to another, with Ane in the middle. The thought came unbidden, and this wasn't a scene from the book, but it felt right. Truly, the center of these books is the characters. Each of them stands out on their own. As I was reading through the chapters, I'd ask how one is connected to the other. And it would excite me for those connections to be revealed bit by bit!

I do not have a background in neuroscience, but I enjoyed the discussion on technology that Poppy and Ylona created and appreciate how it could work. It felt like sci-fi when I was reading those scenes, but it also feels like it's not far away from reality. The technology and the science are well thought of.

Most importantly, this book has courage and compassion. It deals with important issues in our society and personal trauma without being preachy about those objects. The theme is intertwined with the characters themselves, and I like that those characters feel real and represent a different challenge that they need to overcome.

My favorite character is Mica. I like how she was represented. She said that she was someone that didn't need saving. Part of that is true I believe, based on how she carried herself, how she was able to survive alone. I like that idea of self-reliance. Of still trying her best when she could not rely on anyone else. I also like that even with that mindset of hers, she reveals some of her vulnerability.

For me, the "cigarettes" are the burdens we carry. The attachments we might need to quit or reframe. This book is thought-proving and with a heart, with characters that are hard to forget.

[Marie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book tells stories. The main plot was intriguing, but what I liked best was how each character was developed and given the limelight across the chapters. The characters and their stories were presented in such a way that they seemed familiar to me. The book covers many themes such as grief, brokenness, trauma, and resolution - and I loved how the story unfolded and showed me how the characters experienced all of these.

As I read about Poppy, Mica, and Ane - I, too, discovered more about myself. The author was able to convey how the characters felt, and it made me feel more human as I felt for them. My favorite part of the book talks of Mica's dream about chains in her chest. Reading it was raw and visceral for me.

I believe this book is not for everyone. The story pushes you to reflect on your beliefs, and it challenges you to reflect on hard truths. So no, this book is not for everyone, not for those who are not ready for harsh realities. I hope one day, people will have the courage to read this book with an open mind and soul - allowing themselves to feel more, to be more, and to want more.

[Aira Jean · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Because our memories shape who we are."

At first, I find this book slow paced too but I kept on flipping pages because of how the story progresses and at some point I have to stop.

All I can ever say is this book feels like warm fluffy blanket on a stormy day. Comfort is what it is. It's a hug for me that after finishing it I cried so hard.

Rating: 5/5

[Mark Alpheus · Rating 2 out of 5]

"If only he could lift everything up to God so that her pain would no longer persist."

[e. · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5/5

“Her Last Cigarette Yesterday” by Allene Allanigue is an introspective read. while it leans on sci-fi (in which honestly, a genre isn’t something i usually go for but it worked here), it’s ultimately a psychological story at its core. the story follows three women; Poppy, Ylona, and Mica—who are brought together by a research project aimed at retrieving fading memories, particularly in dementia patients.

story-wise, intriguing. the brilliance of this is that it doesn’t fixate on the external experiment but instead uses that setup as a lens to explore more personal and emotional territory. as a psych student, of course i found this deeply reflective. it touches on themes we often discuss—trauma, memory, repression, and the complexity of identity formation, as well as tackling some of the sensitive and painful topics in relation to those. there’s a pull between therapeutic healing and self-preservation all throughout. it doesn’t dramatize these conflicts but instead, it just... lets them be.

character-wise, i had mixed feelings. not all of them felt fully developed to me, but MICA!? Mica really stood out. i found someone who reflected parts of me i rarely admit. she copes in quiet ways through cigarettes, silence, subtle avoidance—but those behaviors speak volumes. they’re not signs of weakness—they’re shields. i know what it’s like to bear the kind of internal battles we don’t always have words for, but we feel heavily and deeply, to comfort others while your own heart is burning out slowly. i wouldn’t say we share the same experiences, but there’s a parallel in how she carries herself, and that hit me personally. i believe a lot of readers will find at least one character who mirrors their own emotional patterns and as for me, it’s her.

writing is easy to follow, it’s straightforward even with some occasional jargons. (that doesn’t feel intimidating because context clues and explanations are there)

now, my interpretation for the title: the metaphor of the “LAST CIGARETTE YESTERDAY” runs through the story. those three words is a tug of war of wanting to move forward but part of you is still tied to what’s familiar, even if it hurts. an inner struggle of trying to heal while still carrying pieces of what you haven’t fully let go of that sometimes we tell ourselves, “this is the last time i’ll let this control/affect me,” yet deep down we’re not even sure if we mean it.

just a side note~i could’ve read this in one sitting if i wasn’t very busy. took me about two months to finish... but you know, this is one of the books that will stay with you if you keep thinking about it even when you’re just reading in bits and pieces.

[Bernard Christopher · Rating 5 out of 5]

#BernardReads | BOOK REVIEW 📚

#HerLastCigaretteYesterday by Allene Allanigue, published under PaperKat Books 🚬

This is another first for me, reading a scifi drama with topics very close to my heart.

As a fellow psychologist, kudos to Allene for creating a story about the things aligned with what I study and with our career. I haven't read anything like this yet since I'm more of a children's fantasy guy.

So this drama started with a lot mysteries between two couples and a set of characters interconnected with each other.

It introduced a lot of jargons that I hope readers would understand thoroughly. I'm not sure and can't asses since I'm so use to these topics eh since my undergrad.

The premise is intriguing and I'm already sensing some mystery unfolding with the introduction of a McGuffin and a third character, about their dim past and history.

I appreciate the fact that the author tackled sensitive topics such as mental health as mature as possible, portraying them realistically and not romanticizing.

Although I'm on the verge of sobbing every time I read that tragic part, readers should be prepared for tissues and mindset while reading this because it could be triggering for them.

The drama, the gradual unfolding of events—it's as if I'm watching an HBO primetime series. I often sigh after reading each chapter accounts.

The grieving process, experience of helping professions on how to cope and handle situation they cannot control—all these can be applied in other situations and settings. That's how magic works in psychology, we're handling delicate lives but not just physically or biologically. I may be stupid too say that it's deeper but it's at least in a different dimensions somehow, to touch someone's spirit or soul. That's why this profession also needs a lot of care and sensitivity.

We could led someone go insane and unhappy the rest of their life. That's a realization I never thought I would say.

There are some biographical narration that I found not enjoyable but needed as set-up. However, it was immediately succeeded by accounts narrated with great metaphors and vivid description like I'm also experiencing the flashbacks. It was effective.

Small nitpicks are some repetitive dramatic description and very few typos.

By the middle part, I can now see how the plot unfolds, the main mission of the story.

It also tackeled a lot of heavy issues within psychology community and our current society as a whole. Even though some were given as exposition, I still appreciate that these are being tackled so that readers, not necessarily agree with the characters' opinions, but at least understand the situations more.

Girl power due to portrayal of strong female characters, not just strong but brave, vulnerable yet growing.

However, the last few chapters felt like a therapy session with motivational speech by the book. Ironic that it's not experiental for me but it would be for readers who could relate with the same scenarios.

The reveal is okay. Just hope that it wasn't just "for the twist". But to represent the things we suffer we don't tell anyone else.

I may not have fully agree with the goal of the characters but that maybe is the point of the story, for us readers to examine our own perspectives about our social issues and personal lives.

The epilogue is so beautifully written, I'm gonna cry haha.

I've read others' reviews and they're right, reading this book is an experience. If you'll not gain any changes in perspectives, you'll at least experience new perspectives that you may think about for a long time.

For the details, I love the cover and color motif. Even the chapter titles. The author, illustrator, publisher, and everyone involved with this book really thought a lot and put effort to produce this gem.

Highly recommended.

#bookreview #bookrecommendations #paperkatbooks #HSGrafikPrint

[Coi · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.8/10 : This book deserves the hype, as well as the publication grant it had.

"Her Last Cigarette Yesterday" is a masterful novel that delves into the interesting journey of
Ylona and Poppy, two pioneering neuroscientists who have developed groundbreaking
Technology with transformative implications for the treatment of dementia. Their world is
Further enriched when they cross paths with Mica, an astute psychology graduate student. This.
fateful meeting sets the stage for a nuanced exploration of familial bonds, along with the
Ethereal interplay of romance, friendship, and family. The book offers a riveting blend of ethical.
quandaries and moral complexities, subtly accented with elements of romance, revenge, and
Stark realism. If the intersection of science and humanity enthrals you, punctuated by
Emotional gravitas, then this novel comes highly recommended. It held me in a state of
heightened anticipation from start to finish.”

Personally, I really did appreciate and fell in love with the book Allene. As a psych graduate
myself, and a medical student who is very inclined to enter psychiatry residency, this was such a
good read. Although, there are some jargon that I might feel some readers would pause at, it
was such a breeze in my part (I would highly recommend this to my psych classmates who are
also bookworms.). The cravings that I had with Crocodile (since it missed the mark to make any
moral implication or delve into the ethics of the technology) and its implications to the ethics of
memory retrieval, memory creation and implantation made me think for a few days.
Although it was quite a heavy read because of the sexual assault themes, the realism it brings
makes me on edge, I read one chapter per day, but when I
got to the Secrets chapter, I finished it since that’s where it got me interested and invested so
much.

[Evelyn Pelew · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a quiet and powerful look at how our memories shape who we are. It explores how grief, trauma, and past experiences can stay with us, even when we try to move on. The story doesn’t rely on big twists. Instead, it slowly reveals how each character is affected by what they remember, and what they wish they could forget.

The writing is thoughtful and calm, with just enough emotion to make you feel the weight of the characters’ struggles. It also raises important questions: Should we change painful memories if we could? Can remembering help us heal, or does it sometimes cause more harm?

Her Last Cigarette Yesterday is a moving and thoughtful read, especially for those interested in how the mind works, how we process pain, and how science and emotion often overlap. It stays with you, quietly, but deeply.

[Alex Simeon · Rating 5 out of 5]

"You don't need to remove your bandages alone. There will always be people who will be there for you as you expose your wounds, and you have to allow them. You have to. That's how we're supposed to live our lives."

i remember the person at PaperKat Books mentioning that it was a good choice to buy this from the Philippine Book Festival last March and wow. my emotions are everywhere. i felt like i could relate to certain parts of each character from the grief & trauma to how the world has destroyed me when i was younger that it's made me afraid of letting people in to how forgiveness can happen but its more important to forgive yourself vs whoever did you wrong. gosh felt like crying so much.

[kyra · Rating 4 out of 5]

some would say that aside from personality, memories are the next most important thing that shape who we are. this is probably because our memories make up our life’s story - it’s what we talk about, what shapes our thoughts and feelings, and what we hold on to.

but memories are fragile, malleable things - they can be distorted, misinterpreted, and relived again and again.

what then happens when it’s our own memories that hinder us from living life to the fullest? if it’s our own memories that bring suffering?

her last cigarette yesterday revolves around doctors and scientists on the cusp of a scientific breakthrough - assuming things go well.
———

research trigger warnings before diving in - the story mainly revolve around darker subject areas.

[Rosalie Tolentino · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is such an amazing book to read! I promise you you'll want to read more. I enjoyed reading this book and it is not just a fiction to read but you will learn something as well. It is also inspirational. I am looking forward for the next book.

[Shiandra · Rating 3 out of 5]

A book you might want to be cautious about as it deals with deep trauma. It was a great read but could have gotten better pacing.

[Adee · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this book. It’s both gentle and brutal. The characters are real. It took me on an emotional journey.

[Cam · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book is like a warm hug that tempered the rage that was fostered inside me. A must-read!

[Krizza Del · Rating 5 out of 5]

ELECTRIFYING. One word to describe how the author wrote the story. A novel every human heart should read.